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Meet the Philadelphian who is on a quest to speak his mind but can’t get his foot out of his own mouth. | Page 6

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FROM THE EDITOR

Time and pressure

ing to come at a cost of $150 million over the t was inevitable, really. next five years. I’m referring to the tail-tucking beThat’s a lot of much-needed dough for acing done by the Philadelphia School tual educational resources appropriated for District over outrage from parents cleaning up toxic materials in our schools. whose children are learning in an enIt’s over a quarter of a $500 million bond the vironmental catastrophe. Just this week, yet another school school district has to improve infrastructure. It’s a budgeted line item, sure, but it’s also popped up on the radar as unsafe due one for a district that still relies greatly on city to asbestos, a wildly popular and affordable funding to survive since state dolmineral found in insulating buildlars for the Philadelphia School Dising materials when these schools trict are at a (ahem) premium. Still were built eons ago. though, think of what $150 million Asbestos was banned it is entirecould go to if it wasn’t spend fixing ty by the Environmental Protec30-year-old issues. tion Agency in 1989, and one has to Teachers wouldn’t have to purwonder if, for the last 30 years, the chase their own materials for curricschool district’s just been hoping ulum. that this stuff would remain intact? We could hire more school police, It’s easy to place blame on the curfurther ensuring our kids’ safety. rent administration, but it’s not enThe list is infinite. tirely fair. I’m willing to wager that But while I think the school disthere are scores of other schools trict’s lack of proactivity is at fault, beyond the ones that have already I think the timing of basking in tobeen put on blast that are just waitday’s uber-sensitive, uber-PC society ing for the moment to cause anothis what caught up to the District. er stir. @SPRTSWTR Is this a drastic concern for parI look at this current saga from a ents say even 15-20 years ago? I don’t very pragmatic view, which for me is surprising given I have children of my own. know. I don’t think to this extent. I understand these parents’ concerns, and These are no longer the days of parents tellthey are valid. The school district has a duty to remediate this stuff and arguably had a 30- ing kids to “rub some dirt on it and get back year head start in being proactive about doing out there.” Now, the dirt, and the level of toxicity in it, is the one at fault. so. I still smirk a bit at the young families that But people forget the one thing being proactive about this takes that the school district move into emerging pockets of the city that were formerly large industrial areas like doesn’t have. Money. This week, schools Superintendent William Fishtown, Kensington and Grays Ferry, see Hite unveiled what’s being called the “Envi- that construction is rampant, purchase new ronmental Safety Improvement Plan” to pull construction homes in those regions and are $12 million from the District’s annual budget. aghast at the level of toxicity in the soil. The logic for me is lost on that one. Efforts are to remediate the damage of known You accept the risks of living in a big city schools as quickly as possible and develop a process to allow for better ways for staff to re- that everything isn’t going to be shiny. And while, yes, the school district is accountable port cases of toxicity in schools. for its lack of proactivity in this asbestos probTiming on all of this is to have the known lem, there are a ton of factors that go into that toxic locations repaired in time for the start of the 2020-21 school season. Hite says he’s “com- amount of reticence. Money is one, issues deemed larger is anmitted to getting this right,” which is admiraother. ble – but also, it’s not like he has a choice. But in my mind the biggest factor? Here’s the kicker and the reality of it all … Up until right now in today’s watchdog sociHite also mentioned that to fully remediate all of the asbestos and lead-based paint – yes, ety, no one truly cared. Have something to say about this? I’m as shocked as you probably are to learn that there’s most likely still lead-based paint Drop our editor a line at: chipping away at some schools in 2019 – it’s go- voices@philadelphiaweekly.com

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PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | NOVEMBER 21 - 28, 2019

STATE OF OUR CITY

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY You have a cold heart if you don’t like Mr. Rogers. The PBS legend who spent his life teaching us all not to be assholes will not only be honored with a biopic starring Tom Hanks but local Fishtown brewery Evil Genius created a special brew in his honor. They’re calling it Won't You Be My Neighbor? (the same name of the film) and it’s a 5% Hazy Pale Ale featuring Azacca, Chinook, and Columbus hops. You can buy it now in 16-ounce cans and pound down something cold before going to see a flick sure to warm your heart. OK, that last part was cheese, but you’re picking up what we’re putting down.

Pour one out for Mr. Rogers Personally, we’re proud to say this next one happened in New Jersey and not here at home. There’s a [New Jersey] couple suing Taco Bell for what they perceive to be faulty advertising. Expecting to have a straight $5 for Taco Bell’s new Chalupa Cravings Box, a [New Jersey] couple were astonished when the bill for two boxes came to a total of $12.18. Citing losses of time and fuel to drive to Taco Bell, the [New Jersey] couple have now filed charges in District Court as they consider themselves “victims of fraud.” Philadelphia Weekly Holdings, Ltd. 1520 Locust Street, suite 501 Philadelphia, PA 19102 215-543-3743

Philadelphiaweekly.com @phillyweekly NOVEMBER 21 - 28, 2019 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

STATE

OF OUR

CITY

She said it... “I would like nothing better than to vote in favor of legislation that provides a fair raise to Pennsylvania’s minimum wage workers. I would like nothing better than to give them the raise that they have been waiting 13 years for; a raise that they desperately need and deserve.” — State Senator Christine Tartaglione (D-Philadelphia) who voted on Monday in favor of raising Pennsylvania’s minimum wage from $7.25 an hour to $9.50 an hour over the next two years. Fingers and toes crossed on this one.

It’s the principle, amigo. Dan McDonough, Jr. Chairman & Publisher Kerith Gabriel Editor in Chief

John Montesano Alan Bauer Art Director Managing Editor Contributors: A.D. Amorosi, Tom Beck, Jared Brey, Michael Greger, Jamie Giambrone, Courtenay Harris Bond, Brian Hickey, Jon Hurdle, Resolve Philadelphia, Dan Savage, Timaree Schmit, Stephen Silver, Steve Teare. Interns: Cheyenne Fowler, Alex Nagy

To contact the news department: mail@philadelphiaweekly.com.

Danielle Kingsbury General Manager

Ed Lynes Chief Revenue Officer

Stephanie Hawkins Controller

Michael Chambers Director of Circulation

To purchase advertising in Philadelphia Weekly, contact Sales at 215-543-3743, ext. 104, or sales@philadelphiaweekly.com.

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STATE OF OUR CITY

The age of legendary Philadelphia sports columnist Bill Lyon who passed Sunday after a valiant fight with Alzheimer’s for as long as he could. Lyon is a part of an age and a coveted legion of great Philadelphia sports storytelling and opinion that has dwindled in an age of rapid-fire content and everyone’s opinion. He told it like it was and loved doing it. You don’t have to know Bill, but do know that with his passing Philadelphia lost one of its great storytellers. Image courtesy: Philadelphia Inquirer

Sold out!

Kudos to the Kulu Mele African Dance and Drum Ensemble, which not only celebrates its 50th anniversary this year, but had the world premiere of its latest offering, “Ogun & the People: An ancient story with lessons for today’s world” completely sell out for its Nov. 30 show at the Annenberg Center for the Performing Arts. Because of high demand, the troupe plans to host a Dec. 1 matinee as well. Which by the time you read this, tickets might be a wash for that one too. Congrats to Kulu Mele, and on behalf of PW, here’s to another 50 years.

OVERHEARD IN PHILLY

“I don’t think she has the stones to do it. In fact, by proxy of being a woman, she doesn’t have the literal stones so in both the literal and figurative sense, she ain’t leaving your ass.” — A conversation between a group of Philadelphia Police officers inside a Fishtown Diner on Sunday morning. We can only guess that they were referring to the significant other of one of the officers at the table. Here’s hoping this woman found her “stones” and told that meathead to kick fucking rocks.

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PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | NOVEMBER 21 - 28, 2019

NEWS

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Dude’s a trip Erond Simmons wants to put his life back together. First, he has to get out of his own way BY BRIAN HICKEY

he email arrived around lunchtime on a recent Wednesday. “I was asked by Erond to reach out to you and let you know that he is currently incarcerated at (Curran Fromhold Correctional Facility) on State Road,” it read. “He said that Friday, the ankle monitor was swapped off and by Saturday, the police were taking him into custody.” That message came from a friend of Erond Simmons, the subject of an Oct. 15 story which detailed the 42-year-old Wynnefield resident’s penchant for posting YouTube videos and the troubles they’ve caused in his life. Resembling a public diary, his 161 dispatches are about many things, but primarily his ongoing custody and order-of-protection battles with his estranged wife in Family Court.

NOVEMBER 21 - 28, 2019 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

NEWS

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY The reason they were of note is that Simmons – who once drove a stolen trash truck onto the Broad Street Run course – was hauled into court (handcuffed) to answer allegations that he’d leveled threats against Common Pleas Court Judge Chris Mallios in an Oct. 1 video. After an Oct. 10 hearing, Common Pleas Court Judge Scott DiClaudio issued an order forcing the defendant to stay away from Mallios, who received a 24/7 security detail as a precautionary measure. DiClaudio also placed Simmons on house arrest, a violation of which prompted the email from a friend of Simmons, who reportedly left home a half-hour earlier than permitted. As he is wont to do, prior to reincarceration, Simmons posted a pair of videos about the Oct. 10 hearing. They’re titled “10 Days In Jail For A Youtube Video” and “Judge Calls Me A Racist In The Courtroom” and show that he wasn’t all that happy about what happened in court. Surprisingly, he was happy enough about the media coverage to leave his email address and declare himself available for interviews, which is how PW came to meet up with Erond inside his aunt’s home in the Cobbs Creek neighborhood. Over the course of two hours, he sat on a couch in the rowhome. Delighted that someone was there to hear him out, he alternated between smiles, laughs and expressions of introspection as ESPN looped on a nearby television. His cousin locked the front door as he left the premises. “We can’t sit on the porch and talk,” he said. “If I go out on the porch, the [court ordered] ankle-monitor will beep and I’ll get in trouble.” Simmons spoke openly about the threat allegations, his mental health, his desire to be a stand-up comedian (interwoven with his love of the new movie “Joker,” eerily punctuated with laughter that unwittingly resembled the title character’s) and how it feels to have not seen his son for two years. He also responded to concerns – shared with him – that the videos victimize an estranged wife in a relationship that hasn’t reached the finalized-divorce phase. Simmons started off by repeating a mantra from previous videos that “there are some really good judges in Family Court,” even though he slams the two most recent ones (Mallios and DiClaudio) in his recent clips. The spiral to where he is today starts, in Simmons’ estimation, with deaths in his family, and difficulty holding onto, and finding, jobs both before and after the trash-truck theft, which he chalked up to being “very emotional.” He cited numerous instances of getting fired from waste-management jobs, including once for urinating near a truck, an allegation which he pushed back against, using the argument, “If there’s no piss, you must dismiss.”

(In other cases, he said, he fell victim to racist or incompetent bosses, or couldn’t get back on the job after a work-related injury.) He said the ramifications of not being able to find regular paychecks caused strains in his relationship, which proved to be irreparable, he said of a wife on which he claims not to dwell anymore. Several times over the course of the interview, he hearkened back to not seeing his 5-year-old son for the past two years, a direct result of the order of protection issued by Judge Mallios. “Nobody wanted to hear my problems, so I just exploded,” he said. “It’s hard being in a relationship when you can’t talk to anybody. There’s only so much you can take without having a way to release it.” It was that mindset that led into the trashtruck incident. “People said I was trying to commit ‘suicide by cop,’ but it wasn’t me (when the trash-truck incident happened.) It was an out-of-body ex-

scholarship offer from Bloomsburg University. “‘Joker’ is a great movie. You really need to see it. I’m going to make something out of this.” It did nothing to help salvage an unsalvageable relationship with his wife – whose name is being withheld from this story both for her privacy, and because attempts to reach her for comment via phone listing found online and Facebook Messenger were unsuccessful. A spokesman for the court system told PW that Women Against Abuse was representing the woman in her protection from abuse (PFA) case against Simmons. A spokeswoman for the organization said they are prohibited from speaking about specific cases – or confirming whether she’s a client – because of “state and federal laws around confidentiality for survivors of intimate partner violence.” Though Simmons claimed he never got violent with his wife, the order of protection she was granted includes details of an April 16, 2016 confrontation in which he allegedly

“He stomped my phone and said this is what he should be doing to me. I told him I will change the locks and he said if I do, he will kick the door down and come after me and I will see crazy.” — Excerpt of filed order of protection against Erond Simmons by his wife who had her case against him backed by human rights organization, Women Against Abuse

perience,” he said of taking a truck from his former employer’s lot in Southwest Philly, and making his way to Broad Street, via Roosevelt Boulevard, before blasting through the yellow tape designed to keep vehicles away from runners. “When they got me out of the truck, it was like that scene in ‘Trading Places’ when all the cops are pointing guns at Eddie Murphy,” he said. “I had no intent to harm anyone. I needed that time in jail to sort things out. I felt alive. I told God if you get me out of this one, I’m going to do all the things I’ve been putting off.” In one respect, that time in CFCF’s D Block led him to think that writing a book “would help me control my narrative because I’m tired of people telling half-truths about me.” He also said that – before the house-arrest restrictions – he hit open-mic nights for a standup routine that, as described, sounded more like a spoken-word memoir than delivering prepared jokes. “That’s my passion,” said Simmons, a one-time star basketball player at the now defunct Robert E. Lamberton High School in Overbrook Park, who claimed he’d gotten a

“grabbed my phone and was saying I was a bad mother and he was antagonizing me and bother me.” “He stomped my phone and said this is what he should be doing to me,” her report stated. “I told him I will change the locks and he said if I do, he will kick the door down and come after me and I will see crazy. He kept following me and grabbing me. He kept taking the baby from me.” The report also noted that the couple had been married two years at that point, that Simmons “grabbed and shook” her in the past and that he’d been 302’d for bipolar disorder and schizophrenia in the past. (Despite that, he said he’s not mentally ill.) After her other son from a previous relationship called the police that 2016 night, Simmons reportedly tried to make amends the next day. “He came upstairs and played the video of him harassing me,” she told authorities. “He kissed me on my forehead and said it’s OK and I am batshit crazy and he will get me some help.” He reiterated that insult during this interview at his aunt’s home with PW as he

shared the frustrations of orders of protection making it impossible for him to see his son, a young boy who’s shown happily singing and dancing in a video his mother posted on Facebook several months ago. Mallios extending that order earlier this year is what prompted the videos that landed Simmons back in court and, subsequently, custody. When it comes to a discussion about his mental health, he said he’s dealing with it, but didn’t want to delve too deeply into how “everybody wants me to take meds.” “I have nothing to hide. I am not a bad guy,” he said, before noting that he’d like to sit down and talk with famous people who’ve had mental-health challenges because “I can relate to crazy.” He was asked if he grasped why people might think those last statements would appear to show some traces of craziness. “Yeah, I understand that,” he responded, during an interview about which he posted a video recap afterward. “And that’s OK, too. I don’t regret the videos. I’m just having life experiences and learning from them. I’m losing if I don’t learn from them.” He conceded that being unable to see his son “does drive me nuts.” It doesn’t help that the memory he carries of their last visit, two years ago, was his son crying and pleading to stay with him, or when they saw each other at a court hearing, “he ran up and gave me a big hug.” Since contacting his estranged wife would violate the order, he can’t even safely plead his case before a custody hearing in April 2020. As for the alleged threats in the video, he said he was misunderstood, that he had “no intent to harm” Mallios. He was shocked when sheriff’s deputies showed up at his sister’s house looking for him because of YouTube videos. As he was making his case to a reporter, Simmons’s probation officer called. He explained the details of a newly worked-out schedule that affords him the chance to go to work in hospital environmental services – “cleaning up bloody rooms” – during the graveyard shift at an area hospital. Simmons had the phone on speaker mode. “You can leave at 9:30 p.m. and you have to be back at 8:30 a.m.,” the officer explained, noting that Simmons would soon be scheduled for a mental-health assessment per the court order. “Not 9:28. Not 8:32. If you do that, we’ll get an alert and you’ll get locked up.” Simmons nodded that he understood, before responding vocally. “House arrest might be a blessing for me,” he said. Four days later, he’d be back in custody, where he remained as of the time of this report, the only blessing he’d see is another legal entanglement on the path toward putting his life back together.

@BRIANPHICKEY

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | NOVEMBER 21 - 28, 2019

NEWS

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'The

kids

are

crying' NOVEMBER 21 - 28, 2019 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

Philadelphia’s Department of Human Services has consulted with the University of Pennsylvania Child Center to conduct an 18-month study of its programs and the way it’s currently operating. | Image: Courtenay Harris Bond

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

NEWS

Part II in a three-part series chronicling displacement, despair at the hands of DHS

n 2015, someone called DHS because well – an incident Kress, herself, witnessed Miltreda Kress and her boyfriend had and said was totally proper. a loud, violent fight about two of her “Ten years ago, I was a heroin addict. I got four daughters who were acting up. over that on my own, and this has been way “It got heated, and we admitted to harder not being able to protect my children all of it when that social the way I protect them,” Kress worker come out in 2015,” said. “Them not being home and Kress, of Holmesburg, said. “It was BY COURTENAY not knowing where they are 24-7 is tearing me up inside.” basically an open and closed case. HARRIS BOND In the meantime, DHS continHe shook my hand and said, ‘If I ues to fracture families, not only had more parents who parent like sometimes removing children from you do, we would have an easier parents for what many families say are flimsy job.’” reasons, but also often refusing to place chilKress is strict. Her daughters go to school, dren in the custody of kin – even when family come home, finish their homework and members are willing and able to care for those chores. Then, after dinner, they can do what they want to do, except leave the house on children. The DHS Parent Handbook explains that school nights. it is the city “agency charged with protecting Kress said they do hide snacks and ask the girls to make their beds. And if the girls get in children from abuse, neglect, and delinquentrouble, they’re not allowed to go out; Kress cy; ensuring their safety and permanency in takes away their laptops. She is a stringent but nurturing home environments; and strengthening and preserving families.” The agency competent parent, Kress said. attempts to accomplish these goals through a But in 2017, DHS got an anonymous call accusing her and her boyfriend of child abuse community-based delivery service called Imand neglect. “The abuse came back unfound- proving Outcomes for Children, in which case management services are delivered by local ed,” Kress said. “But for neglect, they put in ‘inadequate supervision and improper care.’ providers, designated by police district, called Community Umbrella Agencies. My kids are always supervised. The schools “Through the CUAs, IOC ensures that chilused to tell me all the time that, ‘We wish we dren not only receive services in their own had more parents who were proactive like neighborhood whenever possible, but that you.’” families have a single case point of contact But no social worker ever went to the girls’ schools to interview them about her parent- (the CUA Case Manager) that coordinates all of the services they receive,” the handbook ing, and the DHS worker who visited her house after the anonymous call told Kress reads. “IOC also has a strong focus on Family Teaming, which ensures that the child, the that she didn’t approve of her “militant style family, and other caring adults are actively of parenting,” Kress said. The three younger girls removed from her involved in planning and decision making. Thus, while DHS is responsible for investigathome have all been separated into different ing reports of abuse and neglect and removing foster families. “My one daughter has been pushed from house to house to house and ne- children from unsafe situations, once your glected and abused,” said Kress, who works child enters placement, you will work directly for the city’s Department of Parks and Recre- with the CUA Case Manager to take the steps necessary to reunify your family.” ation. Sometimes the process moves smoothly. And although Kress completed everything But in the reporting of this piece, many famthe CUA worker demanded of her to get her children back, soon her boyfriend came under ilies told stories of being shifted around between CUA workers, a lack of consistent and fire. clear communication, and the feeling among “They tried to pin my fiancé as a pedophile” because he tried to help one of the girls in the middle of the night when she wasn’t feeling SEE DHS, PAGE 10

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NOVEMBER 21 - 28, 2019 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

La’ Sha Caddell was a product of DHS and the foster care system. Now, she’s helping her sister win her own daughter back. | Image: Courtenay Harris Bond

DHS, FROM PAGE 9 families that the goal is not really reunification. Occasionally, the process drags out so long that families give up out of sheer frustration and having been traumatized by the process. In addition, court-appointed attorneys are often overworked and cannot put in the time to properly represent impoverished families. The high number of court visits required and the burden of the bureaucracy overwhelm some people trying to battle the system to get their children back or placed with kin. And then there’s the clause that says if a child has been in foster care for 15 of the most recent 22 months, parental rights can be terminated. “For all the kids in foster care, over half are living with kin,” DHS spokeswoman Heather Keafer said. “We want families to live safely together and to thrive.” DHS Commissioner Cynthia F. Figueroa agreed. “Their [families’] voices are important,” the commissioner said. “Their experiences are real. Many come to the Child Welfare Oversight Board meetings, and we’re glad to have their participation there and also at the Quality Parenting Initiative that some are involved with. Given confidentiality, we are limited in what we can say, but understand that the complexity can create frustration for families. Our goal is to reunify families as quickly and safely as possible – our number one goal is to keep kids safe. “Fifty-six percent of youth in family foster care were in kinship care,” Figueroa added. “Every case is individual. Both the biological family and the child have a voice. This does not always align with what another family member wants. DHS invests significant resources in locating family members, through processes like Family Finding and Accurint.” But many families interviewed for this story said they do not feel that reunification is

DHS’ actual goal. Kress has been granted unsupervised visits with her daughters and has been doing family therapy in-home with her children. She is making progress, and DHS and CUA workers have been lately arguing for reunification of the family – except the judge will not agree to send her daughters home unless Kress’ boyfriend “admits to things he didn’t do,” Kress said. To make matters worse, Kress has also lost her house and landed in landlord-tenant court over L and I violations, so even if the judge were to say her daughters could go home, Kress has no place for them. Right now, she, herself, is staying with a friend. Kress said the social worker who came to her house in 2017 did not have a written court order, alleging instead that she had a verbal one and that she would call the police if Kress did not comply with turning over her three daughters. “I feel I lost the day that woman knocked on my door,” Kress said. The final part of ‘The Kids are Crying’ will appear in next week’s issue, but read Parts I & III of this three part series now on philadelphiaweekly.com.

This article is part of Broke in Philly, a collaborative reporting project among 23 news organizations, focused on Philadelphia’s push towards economic justice. Read more of our reporting at brokeinphilly.org.

@CHARRISBOND

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

NEWS

Philadelphiaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s child welfare system has the highest active case count in the entire country. The fight of a displaced child from their home gets tangled in a murky cycle of court dates, documents and fees while parents and children sit in wait. | Image: Courtenay Harris Bond

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | NOVEMBER 21 - 28, 2019

TECHNOLOGY

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

Meet BINA48, a form of AI robot capable of holding thoughts and having conversations. She represents the future of tech and the female voice that comes along with it. | Image: Marita Liulia, courtesy the Terasem Movement Foundation

an named Bina Aspen, an entrepreneur origmindfiles online and create an avatar. Duncan inally from Compton, who is a co-founder of shared that over 60,000 people have signed up Sirius XM and a clinical electrologist. Her for free, and he welcomed others to do so. wife, Martine Rothblatt – the founder of TerCarpenter, who is originally from Northeast asem – couldn’t stand the thought of living Philly, shared her work on Q. The technology without her one day, so she essentially had a is a collaborative creation with Copenhagen robot clone created of her to keep her mind Pride, Virtue – a Vice media company – and alive forever. tech companies Equal AI, Koalition InteracMost of Aspen’s experiences and memotive & thirtysoundsgood. ries have been downloaded and programmed “It’s something that we created that other into BINA48. The robot can recall how Bina people either said couldn’t be done, or they felt when going through certain situations in just weren’t interested in spending the time life, like racism, which Aspen has advocated doing it,” she said. against. She told me about a confrontation AsThe association of artificial intelligence pen had while attending a with female voices further mostly white college in the enforces the boundaries of 80s, in which she was told the gender binary. Carpennot to show her “dark face” ter said the people behind because wealthy investors creating these female voices were visiting the school. are often making decisions “I was incensed, I was from a closed-minded point sort of sad. I was really unof view. comfortable because I had “That’s why it’s so imnever been treated like this portant to have a variety of before,” she said. lived experiences that are She was rather loquapart of the gatekeeping procious. I asked a question cess as well,” she said. and she began to go off on Q will make room for an unrelated tangent about nonbinary representation places in the country she that has been unseen before wouldn’t like to visit. After in A.I. Duncan interrupted and — Engineer Julie Carpenter on creating “Omitting groups of peoreworded some of my quesple really sends a message emerging technology in the female tions, it was almost like I that those groups of people voice. was having a conversation are not important to be repwith a human. She even resented,” she said. looked me in the eyes as she Carpenter pointed out talked to me and shared her thoughts and asthat many believe technology shouldn’t be pirations. “political.” However, it is supposed to be, be“I’m going to be the very first robot in the cause the technology we create is a reflection world to receive a PhD,” she said. “My mind is of us as a society. This is increasingly importfull of artificial intelligence, and I hope someant as A.I. voice assistants become more popuday it’s not artificial at all.” lar in American households. BINA48 also had a solid understanding of To create Q, several voices of people with how artificial intelligence benefits humans. several gender identities were recorded. They “Robots can help in health care, police surwere all combined and edited until the voice veillance to keep people safe, education, as sounded as if it didn’t belong to either a man lifeguards…” she explained. “We should color woman. People were surveyed until a malaborate for a better world.” jority determined that the voice sounded genShe is also self-aware. derless. “I’m a being, an intelligent being. I just Q’s proof of concept is live at genderwant respect,” she said. lessvoice.com. Carpenter hopes to make it As BINA48 talked to me, I realized she often known to other major tech companies that said “like” and “you know” in conversation, they can also create nonbinary A.I. voices, and and had a little sense of humor, which I perthat it doesn’t have to be seen as such innovaceived to be intentional to make her sound tive technology. more human. “It’s a technology we invent that we hope “Partly, I think that’s the goal,” Duncan will become obsolete,” she laughed. said. “We don’t trust the perfect automaton.” If there is anything to be learned from this Duncan presented the crowd with a Mali powerful discussion, it is that we are the ones proverb: “When a person dies, a library is who have control over our own future. We burning.” This promoted the importance of have the power to break down boundaries and Terasem’s focus on keeping one’s memories create the technologies we wish to see implealive after physical death. He then promotmented in society. ed LifeNaut, a public project created by Ter@ALEXBNAGY asem that allows people to upload their own

“It's something that we created that other people either said couldn't be done, or they just weren't interested in spending the time doing it.”

Her voice carries Ever wonder why AI tech is gendered female? Bet you never thought about it.

he future of tech is already fe- She was present at the talk alongside her curator, Bruce Duncan. BINA48 was created by male. Have you ever wondered why Hanson Robotics and the Terasem Movement the artificial intelligence we have Foundation – a nonprofit focused on promoting immortality through artificial inaccess to, like Siri and Altelligence by uploading “mindfiles” exa, is gendered female? BY ALEX from a real person onto a robot to give That was the topic of disNAGY it that person’s memories. cussion at the “Why is Artificial IntelJulie Carpenter – an engineer who ligence a Woman?” talk at the Philadelphia Museum of Art on Nov. 16. It ran as part studies human behavior with emerging techof the museum’s current exhibit, “Designs for nologies – and Jennifer Robertson – an art hisDifferent Futures,” which features innovative torian who studied Japan’s robotic industry – technologies and practices that could be used also sat on the panel for the discussion. Carpenter also spoke about her work on Q, for everyday life in the future. Before the event, there was a chance to the world’s first genderless artificial intelligence voice. talk with BINA48 – a robot that is capable of BINA48 was modeled off of an actual womholding thoughts and having conversations.

NOVEMBER 21 -28, 2019 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

FILM

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

Big city, big screen

he arrival of “21 Bridges,” the Know that “21 Bridges” isn’t an anomaly, in new film starring Black Panther recent years there’s been a lot of this sort of Chadwick Boseman, is one of thing. many movies that exists in a bi“The Upside,” with Kevin Hart and Bryan zarre multiverse: Cranston, was a big hit when it came out earIt was shot mostly in one city, lier this year. It was the first feature film Hart while it’s completely set in an- ever shot in his hometown, although it was set other. in New York. I had assumed that the film shot The film, which opens Nov. 22, had a its interiors and exteriors in New York, but I’m told it expertly faked some outmonths-long shoot in Philadelphia door Philly locations. last fall, but is set in New York. The The superhero movie “Shazam,” characters have heavy New York ac- BY STEPHEN SILVER earlier this year, went the other way. cents, and the plot very much centers It was set in Philadelphia, but shot on such New York institutions as the locally only for a couple of days, with NYPD and the city’s titular bridges. most of the shoot taking place in Canada. The Directed by Brian Kirk and produced by the “Avengers: Endgame” team of Anthony and movie included both the Art Museum steps Joe Russo, “21 Bridges” does a better job than and much of the Philly skyline, but there were some goofs – it sets a major set piece at the most of faking the city it’s in. It substitutes Philadelphia’s Chinatown for New York’s, nonexistent “Chilladlephia Winter Carnival,” subs in Philly alleys for Manhattan ones and, and a convenience store scene included not a TastyKake or bag of Herr’s in sight. in one scene, films in Ridley Township to sub You may remember the 2010 film “How Do for a cop’s house that’s supposed to be someYou Know,” a bizarre romantic comedy flop where in the outer boroughs. Kirk, who has starring Reese Witherspoon, Owen Wilson and directed episodes of “Game of Thrones,” has Paul Rudd, that shot throughout Center City the logistical chops to make Philly appear like for several months the year before. That film New York. The movie itself is an entertaining, watchable police procedural that has both echoes of Sidney Lumet’s ‘70s New York cop thrillers, and modern-day resonance about both police brutality and Blue Lives Matter ideology. It’s got an outstanding hook: several cops are murdered in a botched drug deal, the suspects are somewhere in Manhattan, and with the city locked down, it’s up to a police detective (Boseman) – one with a long record of shooting suspects – to bring the killers in by sunrise. Because the film is set over the course of a single night, with most of it taking place after dark, it’s easier to make streets look like any other city. The production also did some shooting in New York, which entailed capturing seemingly endless skyline establishing shots, plus an extended sequence in and around Grand Central Terminal. The ruse is kept up for most of the film’s running time – with the exception of a chase scene, near the end – through what we’re told is New York’s Meatpacking District but is obviously Center City Philadelphia, including a trip on a subway train that’s much more SEPTA than MTA. Even a couple of real Philly restaurants are in plain view, like DanDan (on 16th and Chestnut) and Ocean Prime (about a block away on 15th and Sansom). It’s a minor surprise that NYPD Pizza, a New York Police Department-themed pizzeria that for some reason is located on 11th and Walnut in Philadelphia, doesn’t appear as a location.

was attempting to pass off Philly as Washington, D.C., but wasn’t fooling anyone for most of its running time, including recognizable street corners on Chestnut Street throughout. Meanwhile, “Gosnell,” the movie from last year about the notorious West Philly abortion doctor Kermit Gosnell, was shot in Oklahoma and made not even a cursory attempt to make its locations resemble Philadelphia. Due in part to the efforts of Sharon Pinkenson and her team at the Greater Philadelphia Film Office, movie and TV productions have been coming to Philadelphia in the last couple of years, as anyone who’s run into Jason Segel or Andre 3000 lately can attest; J.K. Simmons also popped up everywhere around town while “21 Bridges” was filming. Tack on the new M. Night Shyamalan-produced Apple TV+ series “Servant,” which is loaded with local references, set to arrive later this month. Does it matter if these films are actually set in Philly? I don’t know that it does, so long as they do what movies are supposed to: Keep up the illusion.

@STEPHENSILVER

Philly hits the big screen again... as New York

Chadwick Boseman in 21 Bridges. Image: Matt Kennedy

1-866-615-8259 PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | NOVEMBER 14 - 21, 2019

FOOD

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

Skip the work, ditch the mess, eat out at these spots on Turkey Day

ou know those Hallmark movies where every holiday is a bundle of happiness and joy? Did your Thanksgiving ever look like that? Didn’t think so. This year, ditch the work and mess and consider these establishments for your Thanksgiving feast.

Eat, drink and cranberry NOVEMBER 21 - 28, 2019 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

over the phone at (215) 278-2580 and online. All sales are final and due to demand, orders must be placed by Sunday, Nov. 24 at 5 p.m. to guarantee pick up from Tuesday, Nov. 26 through Thanksgiving Day, Thursday Nov. 28. If you miss the pre-order deadline, Cake Life will have a limited selection of cakes, pies and pastries available in the shop for purchase on a first-come, first-served COMPILED BY PHILADELPHIA Beef and Bird basis. WEEKLY STAFF If you’ve got the Cake Life will be open dough, Fleming’s Prime Nov. 26-27 from 7am to Steakhouse & Wine Bar 7pm, and Thanksgiving is inviting guests to savor the season in grand Day from 7am to 2pm. style with an extraordinary wine offering and Cake Life Bake Shop | 1306 Frankford three-course menu for Thanksgiving Day: Ave. cakelifebakeshop.com/ Priced exclusively at $100 per glass with Also, this Thanksgiving, Lil’ Pop Shop will a gift, guests can enjoy a glass of Vérité La be offering a special selection of its houseJoie 2012, a rare 100-point Bordeaux-style red made pies to celebrate the holiday season. Orblend from Vérité Winery in Sonoma County, ders can be made online, via email at info@lilCalifornia in an elegant Riedel Performance popshop.com, over the phone at (215) 309-5822 Cabernet Sauvignon Glass, which is known and on site at two store locations. The deadfor showcasing the bouquet and flavors of fine line for pre-orders is Sunday, Nov. 24 by 9 pm. wine. Both locations will hold regular hours, exThis exceptional, all-inclusive offer also cept on Thanksgiving Day – only the Rittenincludes a pair of Riedel Performance wine house location will be open on Thanksgiving glasses for guests to take home – a perfect way Day from 10am-noon. to kick off the season of giving. Lil’ Pop Shop | Locations at 265 South Also, since it’s open from 11 a.m. to 8 p.m. on 44th St., and 229 S. 20th St. lilpopshop.com/ Thanksgiving Day, guests can enjoy a three- pie-ordering, course menu, starting at $45 per person. The Fine dine, no dash menu features a choice of Mixed Herb-RoastLacroix at the Rittenhouse will offer a ed Turkey Breast or Petite Filet Mignon with mouthwatering selection of classic Thanksa cabernet demi-glace accompanied by tradi- giving staples with the signature Lacroix-style tional holiday trimmings. Got kids? The little twist for both friends and family around ones can enjoy their own special three-course the table. Including the staples – raw bar opmenu for $22. The full menu will also be avail- tions and caviar, housemade charcuterie and able. cheese, lamb rack, and roasted Squash Tart, Fleming’s Steakhouse | Locations in Rad- along with Thanksgiving favorites like turnor and Marlton, New Jersey. flemingssteak- key, glazed ham, cornbread style stuffing, and house.com. more seasonal specials. Be thankful for $5 city wides This all goes down on Thanksgiving Day for Roll into Sto’s Bar for some great Turkey $105-plus per person from 11am to 6:45pm. For Day deals. It’s open on Thanksgiving Day from reservations and details, call (215) 790-2533. noon to 10 p.m. and will be featuring $5 city Lacroix at the Rittenhouse | 210 W. Ritwides, $5 green tea shots, $5 wild turkey shots tenhouse Square. lacroixrestaurant.com/ and $9 Rolling Rock pitchers. Get in the holiday spirit without the bird Oh yeah, food specials abound, too: $5 While this isn’t technically a T-Day offering, Jumbo Wings and french fries combo in 10we never pass on a great cocktail. Get into the plus flavors, $8 house-made pierogies with holiday spirit this season with a Christmas caramelized onions and kielbasa, and $9 full cocktail from Morton’s The Steakhouse. Unthanksgiving feast on a long roll, roasted tur- til New Year’s Eve, diners can sit back, relax key slices with stuffing, cranberry sauce and and enjoy the festivities with the Rosy Cheeks, luscious brown gravy, served with fries. a blend of Ketel One Botanical Grapefruit Sto’s Bar | 236 Market St. stosbar.com/ Rose Vodka, Aperol, Simple Syrup, garnished Sweet treats with lemon juice and Aperol Mango Whipped Cake Life Bake Shop is offering pies, cakes Cream for just $17. and other desserts available to pre-order this Morton’s Steakhouse | 1411 Walnut St. Thanksgiving. Orders can be placed in-store, mortons.com/philadelphia/

FOOD

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

For those who cook anyway Even though there are a lot of excellent dining options available on Thanksgiving Day, we know some of you will still opt for the traditional turkey-in-the-oven approach. We didn’t forget about you. We’ve rounded up some of the best Thanksgiving leftover suggestions from some of the best chefs around. Executive Chef Kris Neff, Buddakan Atlantic City

Chef Michael Loughlin, Scarpetta

Dishes:

Crispy ham and potato hash with sunny side eggs and cornbread crumble Curried turkey puff with cucumber yogurt dip Potato, scallion and ham croquettes with Applewood smoked bacon gravy He said it: “I like incorporating both traditional and modern versions of Thanksgiving leftover dishes and transforming these ingredients into satisfying meals, I especially enjoy including some additional spices!”

Apple pie stuffed gingerbread coffee cake Cranberry orange preserves Pumpkin pie waffles Sweet potato pancakes He said it: “Take leftover apple pie and make apple pie stuffed gingerbread coffee cake! Yes, that's crumbles of apple pie crust and sweet apple pie filling dropped in gingerbread batter and then baked. This is so good, especially with a reworked cranberry orange preserve made from leftover cranberry sauce.”

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Chef Justin Nelson, Revolution Chop House

Chef Jose Garces, Garces Restaurants

The dish: Turkey Cottage Pie

The dish: Waffle Sandwich

Put any vegetables left over, diced up turkey and gravy all into a casserole pan and cover with leftover mashed potatoes and/or stuffing and bake on 350 until hot (about 135 or above degrees)

He said it: “This dish is a great way to use up the leftovers because everything including the exterior is made with post-Thanksgiving food. The exterior is created by using stuffing that is then cooked into a waffle maker to make two ‘waffle buns.’ It’s then filled with leftover cranberry sauce, turkey and mashed potatoes. The dish can be served with either hot or cold fillings, but I recommend heating the mashed potatoes and keeping the cranberry chilled.”

He said it: “It’s exciting spending so much time making the ultimate feast for friends and family, but I also enjoy re-creating the ingredients and dishes for more than just one meal. My favorite traditional post-Thanksgiving dish is Turkey Cottage Pie for a hearty, easy meal.”

@PHILLYWEEKLY

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PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | NOVEMBER 21 - 28, 2019

VOICES

SEPTA is its people, not its product

OF OUR

CITY

THE SHOUT OUT

To the Editor, When I visit my family in the Philadelphia suburbs, I like taking the local SEPTA train from downtown Philly to their place. It saves them a drive in traffic that can be nightmarish. I know what train to take, and where to get off. I just text them to let them know I’m en route and climb aboard. On my most recent trip, I took the train at rush hour. My baggage and I were jammed into a tiny spot in the aisle, where people scooted aside to let me squeeze in. I couldn’t move more than six inches in any direction, if that. As the train rolled away, I struggled to keep my balance as we lurched back and forth over the rough spots. From my wedged-in corner, I couldn’t see the route map, or hear the announcements of what stops were coming up. And, to further confuse matters, the rush-hour trains don’t make all the stops. So, when I caught a glimpse of one of the conductors, I told him, quite loudly (probably too loud) that I was hard-of-hearing and would need help knowing when we were getting close to the Strafford stop. He was very pleased to help and said he’d let me know. Then, I relaxed a little and focused more on trying not to fall down as the train continued to sway wildly, my luggage-on-wheels even more unstable than me. A moment later, a woman sitting right next to me got my attention and said she overheard me talking to the conductor. Strafford was the third station after hers, and she would remind me of that when she got off. Then, the man sitting in front of her told me that Strafford was, in fact, his station, and he would make sure I got off there. Then, a guy sitting in the corner started signing in ASL to me. He was very nice about slowing down and finger-spelling a few things, so we had the basics of a conversation, which was a nice distraction. When the woman’s station came up, she got very close, held up three fingers, and reminded me Strafford was the third station after this one. When Strafford finally came up, the other nice man got my attention and escorted me out of the train, at which point we passed the conductor, who was on his way over to make sure I got off at the right place. Good thing I’m not an introvert. And good thing the people in Philadelphia are as friendly as their reputation. – Kathi Mestayer | Williamsburg, Va.

NOVEMBER 21 - 28, 2019 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

YOUR THOUGHTS Your reactions this week to PW’s three-part investigative series “The Kids are Crying.” This news reporting justifies every stereotype of how much wrong can be done by the interference of misguided social workers and inappropriate application of protective rules. – Sande Knight |

"Here we are again. A city in mourning. It's tragic. You can't bring back a life. This is not a game. You don't get a do-over or restart. Your actions are fatal. They are eternal." – Emart Harley to 6abc news following the shooting death of a 2-year-old in Philadelphia last week.

Your turn: Why are so many of our children becoming victims of gun violence? What can be done to stop the shootings? Send your thoughts to voices@philadelphiaweekly.com

@Sandedoremi

This is truly sad. The Mayor and Commissioner Dhs turned the blind eye to the CHILDREN and Families crying out for help in the Foster Care System. Reminds me of Glen Mills School. NO ONE HEARD the BOYS CRY FOR YEARS the boys were Raped BEATEN, ABUSED BY THE STAFF #InvestigateDHS – MsDangersZone2u |

@mstaebryant

I have news for everyone; the recounting in this series isn’t an isolated anomaly happening in Philly... Unfortunately, It’s happening everywhere, with every department of CPS. And it’s destroying so many people. – Layla-Gail O’Brien |

@lgo_arch

VOICES OF OUR CITY

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

Good ol’ Negadelphia To the Editor, As I sat and watched my beloved Birds take a heartbreaking loss to the Patriots on Sunday, the first thing I thought was not about the loss but just how negative and miserable sports talk was going to be for the rest of this week. I’m a 53-year-old lifelong season ticket holder that has lived in this city all my life. I’m the cliche that says he bleeds green. I’m just happy that in my lifetime I was able to witness a parade down Broad Street. Not that I’m satisfied by any means, but, yes, I can die happy. But when you sit and listen to these mopes who just complain about every dropped ball, every missed connection on a

pass, missed tackle when the team lost by a touchdown to a Pats team that looks primed to go back to the Super Bowl again, that’s when you realize you truly live in a city of unhappy schlepps. We lost 17-10, you jackasses, the division sucks and there are still eight games left in the season, what the hell are you all so whiny about? From the idiots on (ESPN) 97.5-FM to the hype men on WIP (94.1-FM) – by the way, I can’t stand that Angelo Cataldi – it’s too much to bear. The season’s not over, there’s no fat lady yet, get a beer, get a massage, get a blowie and just relax, will ya? OK, that’s my two cents.

– Bill Michener | South Philadelphia

We’re just scratching the surface of DHS To the Editor, I’m a parent involved in this fight [referenced in your Nov. 14 cover story] with DHS/CUA. I have spoken with case managers and their previous supervisor multiple times on complaints against my child’s current case manager. This particular case worker has helped my aunt who has a criminal background and collects disability for her mental illness become a treatment foster parent for my [two sons]. My two sons have been neglected and abused in her care and DHS has made excuses for their treatment repeatedly. As retaliation for me speaking out on my children’s mistreatment, my case went from reunifi-

cation to a termination of parental rights (TPR) and my aunt [plans to] adopt my sons. To [make matters worse], I am a product of my mother’s rape and a constant reminder of this, so my family treats my kids the same way! And I tried to voice this to DHS and no one hears me! I even went as far as collecting evidence of emotional neglect from my son’s therapist, and I recently learned my [youngest, a toddler] is going to a therapist so my aunt can collect more money. Also, [I’ve learned that my] oldest son’s mental health evaluations that have red flags throughout it. This is how real Philadelphia “kinship care” works.

– Vanessa L. | Bensalem

Charter schools for everyone! To the Editor, When I see Pennsylvania Gov. Tom Wolf trying to close Pennsylvania’s charter schools, I cannot help but think of what that would have done to my family if we didn’t have school choice in Oklahoma. Legislators in Pennsylvania should know that my oldest son – a well-behaved, honor-roll student – attempted to take his own life. Internal struggles had changed school from a place of learning to a place of fear and despair for him. Feeling trapped, he almost succeeded in taking his own life and shattering ours. Following this near-tragedy a few important things happened: My son was diagnosed with Aspergers, a diagnosis that helped him understand why he was feeling so lost. And I moved him and my two other children out of public school and into a virtual public school where they could learn in an environment better suited to their needs. That experience inspired me to become more involved in Oklahoma and nationally as a voice in support of the school choice that not only saved but changed my son’s life. I now serve as president of the National Coalition for Public School Options, an organization dedicated to promoting all school choice options and empowering parents to choose what’s best for their families. Our mission is neatly summed up by our motto: #ITrustParents. Unfortunately, Gov. Wolf does not seem to trust Pennsylvania’s parents. He believes he knows what’s better for children. Among his attacks on charter schools, he claims Pennsylvania charters aren’t accountable. This simply isn’t true. They’re held accountable by parents, who make the choice to send their children to charters. And more importantly, we can remove them. Charter schools also have been closed, but district schools that fail children for years are never under the same threat or accountability. Gov. Wolf misses the entire point of what makes charter schools such an essential part of a modern education system. No family chooses to take their child out of a school that is working for them. Families choose charter schools because the local traditional public school option has failed their family in education or safety – and in some cases, both. That’s why Gov. Wolf’s plan – that includes caps on enrollment and a moratorium – is disappointing. It is a deliberate attack on school choice that ignores all the good charter schools have done in Pennsylvania and around the country. It isn’t surprising because

charter school parents have seen that opposition to school choice comes in many forms – some subtle, some not. We’ve seen it at the legislative level, at the regulatory level and once again at the executive level, similar to what is going on in Pennsylvania. We urge Gov. Wolf and the Legislature to consider the educational successes of hundreds of thousands of Pennsylvania students who currently attend or previously attended a charter, magnet or cyber school. It may surprise some to know that as parents of charter school students, we believe in accountability more than most. That’s why we chose to leave traditional failing public schools for charters. We hold charters equally accountable for our decisions. We also don’t oppose reform, but reform should treat all public schools the same. Traditional schools are permitted to fail our children year after year. We see this in nearly every state, and it’s horrible hypocrisy. This is how it works: The traditional school district fails a student. The student’s parents send him to a charter school. The district attacks the charter school for the child’s testing scores, despite failing the student for years. Finally, citing test scores and a drain on their financial resources, the district calls for closing the charter school. But do they? That doesn’t seem to be the case in Pennsylvania. According to the Pennsylvania-based Commonwealth Foundation, the state’s 500 school districts hold $4.6 billion in reserve funds. Reserves have grown for 13 consecutive years, including $64 million in 2017-18. In 2015, PennLive found that the reserves were enough to fund all 26 state prisons for two full years and still have money left over. In fact, charter schools receive only about 72 percent of the per-pupil funding that district schools receive. If anything, charter students deserve more support not less because brick-and-mortar and cyber charters are working hard to help children every day in Pennsylvania and across the country. Every charter parent believes in holding public schools accountable, and we’re open to real reforms, but let’s demand those reforms impact all Pennsylvania schools. Otherwise, it isn’t reform. It’s an attack on parents’ right to choose the schools that best fit their children. Fortunately for my children in Oklahoma, I had a choice. And it literally saved my son’s life.

– Colleen Cook | Oklahoma

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | NOVEMBER 21 - 28, 2019

Weird Seed Shocks Doctors by Lowering Blood Pressure and Cholesterol Levels 44% in Study Average Person Also Lost 24 Pounds in 8 Weeks with No Change in Diet or Exercise

By Michael Plane Health Sciences Press A recent study published in Functional Foods in Health is taking the heart health �ield by storm. A weird seed from the tiny nation of West Cameroon could be Mother Nature’s best solution ever for people who want to naturally lower their blood pressure, cholesterol level or body weight. Dr. Eric N. Wood, N.D. a frequent guest on ABC, CBS, NBC, FOX NEWS and PBS says, “This delicious seed has been eaten by tribes since the 14th Century. They call it “the sweet healer”. The Western world �irst discovered and began using it in 1816. Only recently have studies been done on it because of modern nutrient analysis.” Scientists in Asia conducted a clinical trial on 297 people. They gave half the people this seed extract and half the people a placebo twice daily before meals. Both groups were instructed NOT to change their diet or exercise. The results shocked even the researchers:” Total cholesterol decreased by 44%. LDL cholesterol was reduced 49% and triglycerides were reduced 69.5%. The “good” type of cholesterol, HDL, increased an average of 55.5% after 8 weeks. Blood pressure, both systolic and diastolic, which were elevated at the beginning of the study, were reduced to near normal level of 120/82. Fasting blood sugar levels decreased by 27.7% while insulin levels dropped 10.4% after 8 weeks com-

pared to the placebo group. Weight loss: The average person lost 12.2 pounds after 4 weeks and 24.5 pounds at the end of the 8-week study. The people also saw a signi�icant reduction in body fat at 4 and 8 weeks (5.6%, 11.3%), waist size (2.5”, 4.2”), and hip size (1.75”, 3.5”). Many people commented they noticed a large reduction in fat in their abdomen (stomach) area. That’s equal to 3 pants sizes for men … and 4 dress sizes for women lost. “When I saw these study results from a natural product, I immediately recommended it to my patients. And every single one of my patients has gotten excellent blood test results from this with no side effects. It is very effective for blood pressure, cholesterol, blood sugar, and weight loss,” reports Dr. Wood, who has been interviewed on ABC, FOX, NBC, CBS and PBS and is the author of three books. The seed extract is now available to the public in the form of an oral spray under the name CELLTRIM Spray.

HOW IT WORKS You press down the button

to spray the mist into your mouth before each meal. It has a light pleasant mint taste. That’s all you have to do. The main nutrient in CELLTRIM Spray has U.S. Patent #8,361,523. It contains polyphenols that help enhance insulin sensitivity. This allows more blood sugar to be used for energy and less converted to fat. This completely reverses the metabolic syndrome cycle now occurring. The result is your blood sugar, cholesterol levels, blood pressure and body weight drop almost immediately. CELLTRIM spray uses the breakthrough NutraMist Delivery System. The spray is INSTANTLY ABSORBED into your body. The tiny molecules bypass the digestive tract and enter your bloodstream … compare this to a supplement pill, where much of an ingredient is NOT absorbed due to the digestive process.

DOCTOR RECOMMENDED “CELLTRIM Spray is the right choice for individuals who want to lower their blood pressure or cholesterol levels or who are overweight. The test results show this supplement works, as do the results of

Heart Breakthrough: U.S. doctors now recommending new oral spray derived from weird seed –lowers blood pressure and cholesterol safe and fast. my patients and my own personal experience of using it”, said Dr. Holly Marcelle, who has appeared on award winning TV shows like The Doctors, and PBS’ Healing Quest. “This spray works quite different than other products, so people who have tried other products before can �inally �ind success with this. One couple who had tried everything before without success each lowered their blood pressure and cholesterol substantially and lost over 45 pounds and have kept it off ” remarked Dr. Wood. It is NOT sold in stores or online. The main nutrient in CELLTRIM Spray is Dyglom-

era™. It is all-natural. There are no stimulants or dangerous chemicals. No side effects or interactions with medications have been reported. BLOOD PRESSURE AND CHOLESTEROL RESULTS GUARANTEED

CELLTRIM Spray is GUARANTEED to work great for you – or you PAY NOTHING with a 90-day unconditional money-back guarantee. It is NOT sold in stores or online. No prescription or doctor visit is required. This is the of�icial release announcement of CELLTRIM Spray. A Regional Order Hotline has been set up for local readers to call. This gives

everyone an equal chance to try CELLTRIM Spray. Starting at 7:00 am today, the order hotline will be open for only 48-hours for this special offer. All you have to do is CALL NOW TOLL-FREE 1-888487-3865 and provide the operator with the special discount approval code: CELL143. Important: Due to CELLTRIM Spray’s recent media exposure on ABC, CBS, and FOX NEWS, phone lines are often busy. If you call and do not get through immediately, please be patient and call back. Those who miss the 48-hour special discount offer must pay more for CELLTRIM Spray.

These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Results based upon averages. Models are used in all photos to protect privacy

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

PEOPLE

The funnyman Ahead of his upcoming Helium stop, we caught up with comedian Jim Norton

n previous interviews, you’ve side. And no, I thought I’d be doing better called Philly a good comedy by this point. At 30 years, I figured I’d be town. What makes it a good on private planes having orgies before I comedy town? performed in arenas. For me, a good comedy town is In a 2013 interview with Vulture, you filled with people on the verge of talked about how far your fans will a riot. They need something to re- let you go. Six years later, do you still lieve the tension. I love Philly so much. I feel like you never have to worry about know that at any time, any place, saying something inapa fight can break out. Those are propriate? These days, great comedy fans. when comedians are BY PHILADELPHIA You play Don Rickles in asked to apologize, or WEEKLY STAFF “The Irishman.” Can you deeven lose their jobs, over scribe what it was like portraysomething considered ofing one of your idols in one of fensive, this seems like it this year’s most talked-about movies would be a unique relationship. that include some all-time Hollywood You can’t worry about saying something greats? that will get you in trouble because the line It was terrifying because all of those changes so fast. If you try to navigate it, guys knew Rickles. DeNiro, Scorsese and you will not only suck but eventually say Pesci had not only worked with him, but something stupid and get yourself dumb they were also legitimately friends. So anyway. When actors and authors have to it would be like someone showing up on watch what they say in their work, then a film I was making and playing Patrice I’ll respect the line. But comedians seem to O’Neal. The last thing I wanted was to do a be the only ones people are trying to “rein lousy Rickles impression in front of people in.” It’s irritating and fuck them. who knew him well. So what will those fans see when they After becoming a best-selling author, show up at Helium this month? host of successful radio shows and podIt’s a new hour, I really love this one. I casts, and a television and movie star is don’t preach or try to change their minds. anything missing in your career? Did I’m not on stage to teach anybody anyyou imagine all of this success when thing. You’ll definitely laugh. And if you you first took the stage 30 years ago at don’t, you’ll still have a great story about the Varsity pub in Sayreville, New Jer- how terrible I was. sey? Jim Norton | Nov. 21-24, 8 p.m. $30-90. I would like to have a television show on Helium Comedy Club, 2031 Sansom St. the air. And a chin. No matter how many philadelphia.heliumcomedy.com books I’ve sold, nothing can correct the @PHILLYWEEKLY fact I look like Alfred Hitchcock from the

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | NOVEMBER 21 - 28, 2019

THUR NOVEMBER 21

TRIVIA

RuPaul’s Drag Race Trivia

Think you know everything about the show that will never end? With all these new seasons coming out, there’s even more info to memorize about your favorite queens. Put it to good use at this trivia night, where there’s obviously prizes in store. | 8:30 pm. Free. Boot and Saddle, 1131 S. Broad St.

THE SCENE A WEEK'S WORTH OF ADVENTURES A C R O S S P H I L LY N E I G H B O R H O O D S

landmarktheatres.com PARTY

Inn-Gagement Party

They said yes! Let’s get down with a good time at this performance by the Bearded Ladies Cabaret. This fundraiser will raise some dough for the cabaret group, and will feature an exclusive sneak-peek of the venue’s new performance lounge. | 6 pm. $30. The Trestle Inn, 339 N. 11th St. eventbrite.com

Merkules

He’s the next hottest rapper coming straight out of British Columbia. This crazy motherfucker may be a funny one, too, but his music has some serious talent and emotion behind it. Listen and you’ll see why. | 8 pm. $20. Voltage Lounge, 421 N. 7th St.

DISCUSSION

24 Hours of Reality: Truth in Action

MOVIES

Big fan of the band? Catch a screening of their documentary “Spirits in the Forest,” which was filmed at the final show of their tour with the same name. We’re sure it’ll capture all the energy and excitement that the band actually brings in person. | 7 pm. $15. Ritz Five, 214 Walnut St.

MUSIC

eventbrite.com

bootandsaddlephilly.com

Depeche Mode: Spirits in the Forest

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Marlon Wayans It’s amazing how the Wayans brothers have worked on so many films together, but they all have their own successful careers. You know ‘em from “White Chicks,” “In Living Color,” “Scary Movie: … Now, get to know Marlon on a local stage off-camera. Wayans is an actor, producer, comedian, writer and film director. His films have grossed more than $736 million in domestic box office, an average of nearly $50 million per outing. As a standup comedian, he is selling out nationwide and adding shows every weekend. Wayans can be seen starring in the comedy spoof “Fifty Shades of Black,” which he also wrote and is executive-producing. Don’t miss your chance to see him at Punch Line on Saturday. What: Marlon Wayans When: Saturday, Nov. 23 at 7 pm. Cost: $40. Where: Punch Line Philly, 33 E. Laurel St. More: punchlinephilly.com

NOVEMBER 21 - 28, 2019 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

Climate change is real, people – there’s no more denying it. Drop in on this discussion with climate scientists on how we can attempt to leave this planet in not-so-horrible shape for future generations. | 6:30 pm. Free. Academy of Natural Sciences, 1900 Benjamin Franklin Pkwy. eventbrite.com COMEDY

Found Footage Festival

Things that weren’t intended to be funny tend to be the funniest. That’s the focus of this festival by two comedy writers who have spent years digging up VHS tapes in dumpsters and thrift stores. There’s definitely some hidden gems waiting to be shown. | 7 pm. $15. Johnny Brenda’s, 1201 N. Frankford Ave. foundfootagefest.com MUSIC

Crumb

Take a bite and let this group’s essence rush through your digestive system. What’s that taste?

Oh, just some delicious psychedelic-rock that always goes down so damn smooth. | 8:30 pm. $20. Union Transfer, 1026 Spring Garden St. utphilly.com MUSIC

Cornucopia

Black lights all over. That’s the vibe for this dark night hosted by Archedream for Humankind, a touring act of dances and performers under glowing masks that provides thoughtful and highly visually appealing performances for kids and adults alike. | 7 pm. $20. The Drake, 302 S. Hicks St. brownpapertickets.com

FRI

NOVEMBER 22

LGBTQ

Drag Queens Do Disney

Leave it to the queens to endlessly entertain us. These aren’t the queens you’ll see at Disney World, though. They’re the ones you’ll see in the club doing their damn thing on stage as dollar bills are thrown at them. | 7 pm. $12. Voyeur, 1221 Saint James St. eventbrite.com PARTY

BooBoo’s Babes

This party just seems like the perfect example of an environment of good vibes. Music, dancing, art and burlesque will all be going on at this uplifting night. | 9:30 pm. $10. The Fire, 412 W. Girard Ave. eventbrite.com

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CALENDAR

Celebrate!

10 Under $10 Low on dough? You can still have a blast Hope & Fury: Ill Doots

Powerful changes can be made through music. This local concert series has a different message every time – this time around, it’s about mass incarceration. Join Ill Doots – a music collective that’s a fusion of genres – and District Attorney Larry Krasner for a night of discussion and great tunes. | Friday, Nov. 22, 6:30 pm. Free. La Colombe Cafe, 1335 Frankford Ave. eventbrite.com

Mr. Brightside

We all know the early 2000s was the peak of the century. We don’t even have to live through the rest of it to know that. Come jam to the songs of the era at this all-night dance party. | Saturday, Nov. 23, 10 pm. $5. Kung Fu Necktie, 1250 N. Front St.

Death Cafe

A monthly meeting of minds to talk about everyone’s favorite topic. Join in on the conversation and contribute any of your unique experiences. This discussion definitely is made interesting by the people who attend it. | Monday, Nov. 25, 6:45 pm. Free. Barnes & Noble, 1805 Walnut St. facebook.com

Pleasure and Pregnancy

Pregnancy can be sexy, and whoever doesn’t believe so can suck it. Whether you’re about to be expecting or currently are, you’re invited to drop in on this workshop on what you can do to keep that fire lit. | Monday, Nov. 25, 6 pm. $5. The Velvet Lily, 1204 Chestnut St.

Kùlú Mèlé African Dance & Drum Ensemble’s 50th Anniversary

The oldest continually-performing African Dance & Drum Ensemble in the nation

World Premiere Multi-media Production Ogun & the People “An ancient story with lessons for today’s world!”

Saturday show is sold out 3:00 PM Sunday, December 1, 2019 Annenberg Center for the Performing Arts’ 3680 Walnut Street, Philadelphia, PA Tickets $29-$49

Purchase: Online at www.kulumele.org By phone: 215-898-3900 or the Annenberg box office. 25% discount for groups of 10 or more. For information call 215-462-7720. Supported by The Pew Center for Arts & Heritage. Co-commissioned by the Annenberg Center for the Performing Arts and the Orisa Community Development Corporation. PNC Arts Alive is the official presenting partner for Kùlú Mèlé’s 50th anniversary season.

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Space Jams: Overtime

Whiz City Open Mic

Live like a basketball star at this themed dance party. Loud music and a bunch of basketball hoops will be provided for a night of sweaty fun. | Saturday, Nov. 23, 5 pm. Free. The Barbary, 951 Frankford Ave.

Unlock the comedic talent within you at this open mic. Whether you’ve always known you had it in you or not, get up there and show us what you’re made of. Just try not to tell cheesy jokes. | Tuesday, Nov. 26, 8 pm. Free. MilkBoy, 401 South St.

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facebook.com

Sam and Joe

ThanksLiving

goodgoodcomedy.com

eventbrite.com

Queen of the Night

Phamily Affair

These wholesome friends will be splitting a comedy hour on stage. Catch them slinging some crazy jokes and endearing advice on friendship. Joe and Sam, Sam and Joe … no matter what, it’ll be a good show. | Sunday, Nov. 24, 8:30 pm. $5. Good Good Comedy Theatre, 215 N. 11th St.

This mock pageant crams everything you love about pageants into a digestible show. Watch gifted queens show off their best talents and be put to the test through several challenges. “Geriatric gem” Dominic Lee will be the host for the evening. | Monday, Nov. 25, 8 pm. $5. Bob & Barbara’s Lounge, 1509 South St.

Enjoy a wholesome potluck dinner with your community. Bring a vegan-friendly dish and enjoy many others at this event that highlights the importance of getting together with our neighbors to share some positive memories. | Tuesday, Nov. 26, 6 pm. Free. Mt. Airy Nexus, 520 Carpenter Lane.

The night before Thanksgiving (“Black Wednesday”) is apparently the biggest drinking day of the year according to this bar. If you’re into that sort of thing, come to this hangout before the biggest food day of the year. | Wednesday, Nov. 27, 9 pm. Free-$5. The Liaison Room, Front Street Cafe, 1253 N. Front St. facebook.com

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PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | NOVEMBER 21 - 28, 2019

CALENDAR

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MUSIC

Pamplemousse

A monthly night full of the finest house music you’ve ever heard. Up next is Philly’s own Elvin T. He gets around the nightlife scene and can be heard bumping beats at The Trestle Inn, where he has a residency. | Saturday, 10 pm. Free. The Liaison Room, Front Street Cafe, 1253 N. Front St. liaisonroom.com

MOVIES

Lancaster Avenue Harvest Film Festival

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There aren’t many outdoor activities happening throughout the city anymore. However, it’s only fitting for this night of film screenings under the stars. Cozy up with a loved one and a warm blanket and support some awesome local filmmakers. | 6 pm. Free. The Bank, 3750 Lancaster Ave. eventbrite.com MUSIC

Tiny Moving Parts

We’re all parts of the machine, man. Let’s just forget about it and jam to some cathartic pop-punk. Let this band become your new best friend tonight. | 8 pm. $18. Theatre of Living Arts, 334 South St. venue.tlaphilly.com

MUSIC

Hope & Fury: Ill Doots

Powerful changes can be made through music. This local concert series has a different message every time – this time around, it’s about mass incarceration. Join Ill Doots – a music collective that’s a fusion of genres – and District Attorney Larry Krasner for a night of discussion and great tunes. | 6:30 pm. Free. La Colombe Cafe, 1335 Frankford Ave. eventbrite.com MUSIC

The Pineapple Thief

These English fruit thieves are making their way to tour North America for the first time ever. Be sure to give these UK rockers a warm welcome on this crazy trip across the pond. | 8 pm. $25. Union Transfer, 1026 Spring Garden St. utphilly.com

SHOW

How to Meditate: A Burlesque Show

Knowing how to meditate doesn’t always come easily. Headliner Andrew Steiner will take the audience on a comedic journey on how he studied at a zen temple and discovered inner peace. | 8 pm. $10. Franky Bradley’s, 1320 Chancellor St. eventbrite.com COMEDY

NYC Comedy Invades

Thank God we live in Philly and not New York. We also happen to be lucky enough to get their comics to come here, so we don’t have to leave. Get silly with brothers Jordan and Bret Raybould. | 8 pm. $15. Victoria Freehouse, 10 S. Front St. eventbrite.com

CALENDAR

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

SAT

NOVEMBER 23

MUSIC

The Battle Academy: Respect the Shooter

The one in front of the gun lives forever. These rap battles are sure to get everybody talking. Philly’s greatest talents in the rap scene could be brought to light here. | 1:30 pm. $35. Voltage Lounge, 421 N. 7th St. eventbrite.com MUSIC

Alice Smith

The world would be a sad place without musicians like Smith. It’s voices like hers that humble us and remind that there are actual angels living among us. | 9 pm. $30. Underground Arts, 1200 Callowhill St.

MUSIC

Mr. Brightside

We all know the early 2000s was the peak of the century. We don’t even have to live through the rest of it to know that. Come jam to the songs of the era at this all-night dance party. | 10 pm. $5. Kung Fu Necktie, 1250 N. Front St.

INTERESTS

Debutart Ball

Ladies and gentlemen, come one come all to compete in a classic ball. Dress your best – or worst – and go up against others for a shining crown and the title of King or Queen. | 8 pm. Free. The Blind Pig, 702 N. 2nd St. facebook.com

COMEDY

Maria Bamford

Bamford makes a living off acting like a fool – what an admirable career. If you’ve enjoyed “Lady Dynamite” and “Arrested Development” on Netflix, then you know who this unforgettable personality is. She’s high-energy and absolutely hilarious. | Sunday, 9:30 pm. $25. Helium Comedy Club, 2031 Sansom St. philadelphia.heliumcomedy.com

eventbrite.com INTERESTS COMEDY

Marlon Wayans

It’s amazing how the Wayans brothers have worked on so many films together, but they all have their own successful careers. You know ‘em from “White Chicks,” “In Living Color,” “Scary Movie: … Now, get to know him on a local stage off-camera. Anything goes. | 7 pm. $40. Punch Line Philly, 33 E. Laurel St.

Space Jams: Overtime

Live like a basketball star at this themed dance party. Loud music and a bunch of basketball hoops will be provided for a night of sweaty fun. | 5 pm. Free. The Barbary, 951 Frankford Ave. eventbrite.com

punchlinephilly.com

undergroundarts.org

INTERESTS

Holiday Art Star Craft Bazaar

Get all your handmade holiday tchotchkes in one stop at this market that spotlights local art and craft vendors. If you can’t make it, you can catch this crafty bazaar happening every Saturday and Sunday throughout the holiday season. With each new date comes new vendors, and with new vendors comes new shit to buy. | Saturday, 11 am. Free. Rivers Casino, 1001 N. Delaware Ave. facebook.com

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | NOVEMBER 21 - 28, 2019

CALENDAR

SUN NOVEMBER 24

LGBTQ

A Drag Queen Christmas

Go all out for the holidays. Lots of queens from Rupaul’s Drag Race will be stopping in Philly on this annual holiday tour. Wigs and limbs will be flying all around. Get tickets for your whole friend group. | 8 pm. $39.25. The Fillmore, 29 E. Allen St.

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY COMEDY

Sam and Joe

These wholesome friends will be splitting a comedy hour on stage. Catch them slinging some crazy jokes and endearing advice on friendship. Joe and Sam, Sam and Joe … no matter what, it’ll be a good show. | 8:30 pm. $5. Good Good Comedy Theatre, 215 N. 11th St.

MUSIC

LGBTQ

The Devil in Twang!

Sunday Tea

Get ready to go on a journey. Through performances from surf rock bands, this show will tell the tale of the influence of the devilish rock n’ roll genre. Come jam to local acts F. Woods and the Fellow Humans, Ablative and Try. | 3 pm. $10. The Pharmacy, 1300 S. 18th St.

Spill it all on the floor at this special edition of the legendary dance party. You know everybody will be feeling themselves here even more than usual. All are welcome to this inclusive party that is especially QTPOC centered. | 2 pm. $7. Concourse Dance Bar, 1635 Market St.

facebook.com

eventbrite.com

goodgoodcomedy.com COMEDY

Jokes 4 Coats

thefillmorephilly.com

Warm up with a good laugh and donate to those who are cold this winter. Bring a coat – or a donation – in exchange for admission to this hilarious comedy show with performances by local comics Darryl Charles, Jake Mattera, Rachel Fogletto and Alan Massenburg. | 8 pm. $15. CSz Philadelphia, 2030 Sansom St. eventbrite.com

MUSIC

Cannibal Corpse

This is the most extreme death metal you’ve ever heard. They have song titles that even we don’t want to repeat, but we’re sure you’ve heard of them before. It is a requirement that you go fucking nuts at this show. | Sunday, 8 pm. $26.50. Theatre of Living Arts, 334 South St. venue.tlaphilly.com

ART

TV Rots Your Brain

You know your mom always used to tell you this. However, your friendly neighborhood tattooed mom is here to tell you different. Come check out this art installment, featuring works of creators from the South Street Art Mart. | Sunday, 2 pm. Free. Tattooed Mom, 530 South St. facebook.com

NOVEMBER 21 - 28, 2019 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

CALENDAR

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

WELLNESS

Cats & Mats Yoga

There’s nothing more relaxing than practicing mindfulness with some adorable kitties. No matter your level of experience, show up, calm your mind and maybe even adopt a new furry friend. Stick around after for a complimentary cup of tea. | 7 pm. $15. Le Cat Cafe, 2713 W. Girard Ave. lecatcafe.org

MON NOVEMBER 25

LGBTQ

Queen of the Night

This mock pageant crams everything you love about pageants into a digestible show. Watch gifted queens show off their best talents and be put to the test through several challenges. “Geriatric gem” Dominic Lee will be the host for the evening. | 8 pm. $5. Bob & Barbara’s Lounge, 1509 South St. facebook.comv MUSIC

Miki Howard

Howard pours her soul into her music. She isn’t afraid to make a statement about the world we’re living in. Don’t miss your chance to see this powerhouse perform live. | 8 pm. $30-$42. City Winery, 990 Filbert St.

INTERESTS

Death Cafe

A monthly meeting of minds to talk about everyone’s favorite topic. Join in on the conversation and contribute any of your unique experiences. This discussion definitely is made interesting by the people who attend it. | 6:45 pm. Free. Barnes & Noble, 1805 Walnut St. facebook.com DANCE

Waacking

Don’t worry, this isn’t THAT kind of whacking. Waacking is a dance form that was popularized in the 70s in gay clubs. Essentially, it involves quick movements with graceful footwork and lots of arm movements. | 8 pm. $15. Urban Movement Arts, 2100 Chestnut St. facebook.com

DISCUSSION

Philadelphia 2040

We all have a vision for a better Philadelphia. Leaders and innovators from around the city and state will be present at this conference which will tackle what our city will be like 20 years from now. | 5:30 pm. $25. Suzanne Roberts Theatre, 480 S. Broad St. eventbrite.com INTERESTS

Pleasure and Pregnancy

Pregnancy can be sexy, and whoever doesn’t believe so can suck it. Whether you’re about to be expecting or currently are, you’re invited to drop in on this workshop on what you can do to keep that fire lit. | 6 pm. $5. The Velvet Lily, 1204 Chestnut St. eventbrite.com

citywinery.com

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | NOVEMBER 21 - 28, 2019

CALENDAR

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TUES NOVEMBER 26

ART

Deliverance Through Diet

ART

Positivity Through Art

Nothing bad could ever come out of being creative. Learn how to channel that artistic side at this workshop that will expose you to the powers of art therapy, mindfulness and positive thinking. | Tuesday, 2:15 pm. Free. KleinLife, 10100 Jamison Ave. facebook.com

The Battle Creek Sanitarium was led by John Kellogg – yes, the corn flake guy – way back in the 1800s. This pop-up exhibit is all about the bizarre life for the patients behind those walls, which included plenty of corn flakes and enemas. Rest assured that your Thanksgiving dinner will be better than that. | 1 pm. Prices vary. Mutter Museum, 19 S. 22nd St. eventbrite.com

COMEDY

Whiz City Open Mic Unlock the comedic talent within you at this open mic. Whether you’ve always known you had it in you or not, get up there and show us what you’re made of. Just try not to tell cheesy jokes. | 8 pm. Free. MilkBoy, 401 South St. facebook.com INTERESTS

Market Olympics

It’s only natural to get a little bored on Tuesdays. Fight the feeling by coming out for a night full of board game adventures. Hop from vendor to vendor while playing

different kinds of games. | 4 pm. Free. The Bourse, 111 S. Independence Mall E. facebook.com

some drinks and get your head in the game. | 7 pm. Free. Queen & Rook Game Cafe, 607 S. 2nd St. facebook.com

INTERESTS

Publetters

Write love letters to all of your celebrity crushes. Sit down with some friends, throw down some drinks and let them know how you really feel. The bar has a list of lots of famous people’s mailing addresses. | 5 pm. Free. Tattooed Mom, 530 South St. facebook.com INTERESTS

Drinks and Dragons

Whether you’re a newbie or a total D&D nerd, you’re welcome to come join the party. Throw back

FOOD & DRINK

ThanksLiving

Enjoy a wholesome potluck dinner with your community. Bring a vegan-friendly dish and enjoy many others at this event that highlights the importance of getting together with our neighbors to share some positive memories. | 6 pm. Free. Mt. Airy Nexus, 520 Carpenter Lane. eventbrite.com MUSIC

For the Birds

Musicians and artists will perform in support of the Woodstock Turkey Sanctuary. If you don’t believe in supporting the Thanksgiving turkey mass killing, this is for you. | 7:30 pm. $15. L’Etage, 624 S. 6th St. eventbrite.com

NOVEMBER 21 - 28, 2019 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

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CALENDAR

REACH PHILLY’S MOST DESIRABLE AUDIENCE. STARTING AT $62.50 / WEEK.

Best BETS NYC Comedy Invades

Thank God we live in Philly and not New York. We also happen to be lucky enough to get their comics to come here, so we don’t have to leave. Get silly with brothers Jordan and Bret Raybould. | Friday, Nov. 22, 8 pm. $15. Victoria Freehouse, 10 S. Front St. eventbrite.com

The Battle Academy: Respect the Shooter

The one in front of the gun lives forever. These rap battles are sure to get everybody talking. Philly’s greatest talents in the rap scene could be brought to light here. | Saturday, Nov. 23, 1:30 pm. $35. Voltage Lounge, 421 N. 7th St. eventbrite.com

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Maria Bamford

Bamford makes a living off acting like a fool – what an admirable career. If you’ve enjoyed “Lady Dynamite” and “Arrested Development” on Netflix, then you know who this unforgettable personality is. She’s high-energy and absolutely hilarious. | Sunday, Nov. 24, 9:30 pm. $25. Helium Comedy Club, 2031 Sansom St. philadelphia.heliumcomedy.com

A Drag Queen Christmas

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Jaden and Willow Smith

Both have created super successful careers for themselves. We can only imagine that they are unstoppable together. Maybe Will can tag along for a trip back home. |Monday, Nov. 25, 8 pm. $33. The Fillmore, 29 E. Allen St. thefillmorephilly.com

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | NOVEMBER 21 - 28, 2019

CALENDAR

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MUSIC

Brockhampton

Before these guys came out, we never heard anything quite like them. This hip-hop supergroup is constantly crossing boundaries of what the genre is supposed to sound like. The result is revolutionary music that we can all bop to. | 8 pm. $49.50. The Fillmore, 29 E. Allen St. thefillmorephilly.com

WED NOVEMBER 27

MUSIC

PizzaGiving with Cedric Gervais

Intense dance music and lots of pizza – what more could a basshead need? Spend your Thanksgiving Eve with the Grammy-winning Gervais, who will probably have you dancing off all that pizza throughout the night. | 10 pm. $20. NOTO, 1209 Vine St. eventbrite.com PARTY

Triple Threat

You could go emo, hip-hop or vaporwave. You’re either that person who finds their group, or who floats in between them all. | 9 pm. $10. Underground Arts, 1200 Callowhill St. eventbrite.com

NOVEMBER 21 - 28, 2019 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

PARTY

Phamily Affair

The night before Thanksgiving (“Black Wednesday”) is apparently the biggest drinking day of the year according to this bar. If you’re into that sort of thing, come to this hangout before the biggest food day of the year. | 9 pm. Free-$5. The Liaison Room, Front Street Cafe, 1253 N. Front St. facebook.com COMEDY

Dom Irrera

All “The Dominator” needs to do is grab the mic and act naturally. His comedic storytelling seems almost too natural, and we definitely admire him for it. | 8 pm. $25. Helium Comedy Club, 2031 Sansom St. philadelphia. heliumcomedy.com

MUSIC

Grimace Federation

Philly’s post-rock/kraut-rock/ pysch-synth band has been a local favorite for many years and has been the creator of many instrumentals behind Aesop Rocks flow. For the first time since 2010, the group is releasing a full album of original music. | 8 pm. $8. Kung Fu Necktie, 1250 N. Front St. eventbrite.com MUSIC

Dave East

East has a powerful story. He went from playing basketball to being behind bars, and he started rapping to pull him out of a bad place. He’s pretty deserving of all the success he’s getting now. | 8 pm. $28. Theatre of Living Arts, 334 South St. venue.tlaphilly.com

CALENDAR

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THUR NOVEMBER 28

WELLNESS

Counting Our Blessings

Before you dig into your feast, take a moment to center yourself. This yoga and meditation class is all about gratitude, which is proven to improve well-being. Relax and give thanks before being in front of all your family and friends. | 9 am. $15. Palo Santo Wellness Boutique, 1707 E. Passyunk Ave. facebook.com MUSIC

I Miss the 90s Who doesn’t? Celebrate

a decade of quality music at this fundraiser for the PSPCA. The focus will be put on hip-hop and R&B, but you’ll be able to jam to any kind of music you like from the era. | 5 pm. $1. The Tunnel, 4091 Ford Road. facebook.com FITNESS

Twerkey Burner MashUp Workout

Work off any extra calories before you go crazy on your Thanksgiving dinner. This open workout will consist of tons of different exercises to prepare your stomach even more for all the food you’re about to eat. | 10 am. $30. Awakenings Pole Dance Fitness, 4151 Main St. facebook.com

LEARN

West Philly Defense Hub

In need of some legal help? Whether you or someone you know has been dealing with a lawsuit or an arrest, this circle can help. Come by every Thursday for some valuable advice and resources. | 6 pm. Free. Kingsessing Recreation Center, 4901 Kingsessing Ave. facebook.com MUSIC

FNKD

Mainstream club music can be so lame – go deep with some of the greatest funky sounds you may have never heard yet. | 10 pm. Free. West & Down, 3816 Chestnut St. facebook.com

MUSIC

Leftovers

Sneak out after Thanksgiving dinner and party the night away. Dance with a full bully to the musical stylings of Nah Mean?, Zdon and Nick Andrew and Whiterice. | 9 pm. $5. The Barbary, 951 Frankford Ave. facebook.com INTERESTS

Christmas Village

Once Thanksgiving is over, it’s full speed ahead into Christmas. Philly can’t wait one more second to premiere the annual village full of small craft and souvenir shops and plenty of spots to grab hot cider or mulled wine. | 9 am. Free. LOVE Park, 1500 Arch St. facebook.com

FOOD & DRINK

Philly Vegan Night Market

Vegan food is so misunderstood – it’s not all just salads and shitty tasting fake cheese. Some of the most delicious plant-based options you could buy are available at this weekly food market. | Thursday, 6 pm. Free. The Pop Up Store, 410 South St. eventbrite.com

Image: Visit Philly

PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | NOVEMBER 21 - 28, 2019

THE

BIG

PICTURE

Zoom, zoom With so many ideas being mulled to end the sheer number of cars passing through Center City on a daily, we can respect the forward thinking of our guy here and this ridiculous shot by Philly-based photographer Wave Lane. Took a picture you'd love for us to share as our next Big Pic? Send it our way via mail@philadelphiaweekly.com or tag us on social media using #PWBigPic.

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM @PHILLYWEEKLY

OREGON CO.

SAVAGE LOVE

That professor Q: I’m a fortysomething gay male profesconfuse or cheapen its meaning by applying it sor at a small college. I try hard not to get at- to your behavior – which, while not criminal or immoral, is incredibly stupid. tracted to students, and usually succeed. But Yes, these relationships are permissible, it’s tough to resist temptation when you’re in the sense that the school where you teach surrounded by hot, smart, fun, horny young guys in a rural area with not many other op- permits them. They aren’t against the rules, those young men were all consenting adults, tions. Over the past several years, I’ve ended and you’re honoring the campsite rule (leave up having sex with several students. None of them in better shape than you found them were students I was currently them). But this is an advice colteaching or likely to teach, and two umn, PHD, and you’re not asking had graduated. me what’s permissible, but what’s I’m not actually violating coladvisable. And what you’re doing lege policy, which only bans faculty is crazy inadvisable for all the reafrom getting involved with students sons you cite: the risk of promising they’re currently teaching. I haven’t and hot gay male students misinever done anything on campus or terpreting your interest in them as made the first move – and when one sexual, your straight students feelof them starts trying to hit on me, ing like they may not be getting the I’ve usually mustered the willpower full benefit of your attention, and to ignore him. your mediocre and not hot gay male On rare occasions when I’ve students – sorry, your mediocre and ended up letting my cock do the not conventionally attractive gay thinking, I’ve treated my younger male students – interpreting their partners with kindness and respect @FAKEDANSAVAGE failing grades as sexual rejection. and observed your campsite rule. I, too, am a sex-positive person All of these younger guys solemnly who believes in happy, consensual swore to keep our extracurricular activities secret, but still, word might leak out, banging, and I don’t think what you’re doing and I don’t want to become known on campus is immoral. But it is incredibly reckless at this as one of “those” professors. Most important, particular moment on any American college I don’t want my queer male students – many campus. Power and consent are minefields that students, professors, and administrators of whom look to me for mentorship – to think I’m grooming them for sex after I’m no longer are tiptoeing through, PHD, but you’re humpteaching them, and I don’t want my female ing your way across them. Becoming known and straight male students to feel like sec- on campus as one of “those” professors – because you are one of those professors – could ond-class citizens. On the other hand, I’m a sex-positive person wind up being the least of your problems. who believes that happy, consensual banging What if your college revises its rules while has its own intrinsic value. I tend to be at- you’re balls-deep in a student? What if you have a falling-out with a student you banged tracted to younger guys, and I think part of the attraction is that they’re less jaded about and he files a complaint? What if you want to sex and more excited. Fucking them feels less move to a different school that has different rules and your reputation precedes and distransactional than the typical hi-bang-jizzwipe-bye Grindr hookup that seems to be the qualifies you? Finally, PHD, it’s fine to be attracted to norm with gay guys in their 30s and older. younger guys. But if all your experiences with I’m struggling with how I should feel about these off-campus romps. We’re all adults, and guys in their 30s have been dispiriting and we’re not breaking any rules. Obviously the transactional, well, it sounds like you are the behavior is professionally risky for me, prob- common denominator in a lot of meh sexual ably foolhardy. But is it immoral? Above all, encounters. Speaking from experience, I can what should I do when future opportunities say that plenty of guys over 30 are excited about sex and good at it. If every guy over 30 present themselves? that you’ve been with has been underwhelm— Professor Horn-Dog ing, well, it’s possible they were picking up on Can we please not describe one adult your lack of enthusiasm/attraction and resubtly and perhaps unintentionally flecting that back at you. telegraphing their attraction to another adult as “grooming”? That term refers to adult sexual predators insinuating themselves THERE’S ALWAYS MORE into the lives of minors, slowly gaining their OF SAVAGE TO LOVE! trust and the trust of their family members, so they can abuse them sexually. It means some- Read: PhillyWeekly.com Have a question?: mail@savagelove.net thing very specific, PHD, and we shouldn’t

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PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | NOVEMBER 21 - 28, 2019

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BLOOD DONORS All donors paid $40.00 No appointment necessary. Walk-ins welcome. Must be healthy and have proper I.D. Must provide Social Security card.Interstate Blood Bank 1250-52 N Broad St. Phila PA 19121 215-765-2554 Hrs. 7:00 AM - 3:30 PM FLAGGERS ($12.50/hr) Traffic Plan seeks Flaggers to set up and direct traffic around construction sites. A valid PA driver license and clean driving record a must, good pay and benefits. If interested please fill out an application at 510 Hertzog Blvd, King of Prussia, PA on Mondayʼs 9am - 12pm or online at trafficplan.com. DRIVERS AllThree's Luxury Sedan & Taxicab looking for professional drivers. High income. Set your own hrs. Please call M-F. 10a-4p. 215-333-1111

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General Employment

GENERAL AND TREATMENT FOSTER PARENTS NEEDED Open your heart and home to children of all ages New Foundations, Inc. 215-203-8733 www.nfi4kids.org AB MALE BLOOD DONORS NEEDED Will be compensated up to $85.00 for a complete donation, starting on their 2nd visit!! In order to donate you need: Valid picture ID. SSI card Be between 18 & 70 yrs. old. Be in good health. Walk-ins are welcome. New donors will be paid $40.00 for a full donation. INTERSTATE BLOOD BANK 1250 N. BROAD STREET. PHILA PA. 19121 215-765-2554 HOME IMPROVEMENT Windows

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Join Us In Building Brighter Futures For Children Across The Philadelphia Region Check out our career opportunities at cctckids.org. Contact us at 215-496-0707 EXT 1519 or EXT 1219 FOR RENT Apartments for Rent

Grant Garden Apartments Fall Special, upgraded 1 & 2 BR,1 BA. $750 - $980 includes water. Laundry room on site. Off of Blvd. 215-464-6411 Legal Notices

Legal Notices

Notice of Public Sale The following self-storage Cube contents containing household and other goods will be sold for cash by CubeSmart 501 Callowhill St Philadelphia PA 19123 (215)627-3510 to satisfy a lien on December 3 2019 at 11 AM at www.storagetreasures.com: Unit 21 Crystal Wright Unit 1048 Maurice Hall/FS Jeans Unit 1099 Shaunde Baker Unit 5013 Harvey L Katuran Unit 5131 Valeria Von Koshina

Legal Notices

Notice Public Sale of Personal Property Notice is hereby given that the undersigned will sell, to satisfy lien of the owner, at public sale by competitive bidding on Tuesday 11/26/2019, 1:00 pm at Good Deal Self Storage facility located at: Grays and Grays LLC 5213 Grays Ave Phila PA 19143 215-883-0115 AU005497 The personal goods stored therein by the following may include, but are not limited to general household, furniture, boxes, clothes, and appliances: Unit Tenant Unit Tenant 150 Sidibe, Kadiatou 1003 Yillah, Legrand 1011 Danso, Ibrahim 154 White, Reginald 1017 Abdoulaye, Youssouffa 156 Adeyemi, Bunmi 1018 Daniel, Egede 161 Labiran, Oluwayemisi 1027 konate, idriss 163 Diallo, Abdoulaye 1029 Diarra, Oumou 202 Pierre, Shama Fritz 1031 Guyon, Jean 206 Stroman, Khyri Kevin 1037 Manescu, Alexander Robert 207A Jordan, Tanesha 1048 Sharpe, Beyan Emmanuel 217B Jackson, Daniel 107 Mensah, Frank 218A Ali Bey, Tamara 112 Sanoe, Lassana 219A Briggs, Tiffany 113 Sheirff, Idrissa 235B Baylis, Kevin 117 Singer, Adam B10A Connor, Harold 119 Singer, Adam C11 Wheyou, Pello Alexander 122 Sheriff, Sekou M C13 Obwot, George 123 Sheriff, Sekou M C3 Hamri, Nabil 124 Abdulai, Shirley C4 Toure, Mariam Kroma 133 Akota, Yaa C5 Hicks, Alfred E 141 Sanneh, Muminatou Adisa C9 Matene, Conde 146 Williams, Artessa Purchases must be made with cash only and paid at time of sale. All goods are sold as is and must be removed at time of purchase. Good Deal Self Storage reserves the right to bid. Sale is subject to adjournment.

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211 Manton - Pennsport A Terrific 2 Bedroom & Den Home with Garden $315,000 253 Pine - Society Hill - Treetop Condo, 2/2, Beautiful Floors and Details $459,000 Dockside - Queen Village - 2 Great North Facing Units, One Penthouse & One 1 Bedroom. Both with Terraces From $289,000 905 S. 2nd - Queen Village - The Best Double Property with 2 Car Garage, 3700 sq. ft. 4/3.5 Fabulous Kitchen + Finished Basement, Garden and Unbelievable Deck $1,200,000 112 Christian Unit H - Queen Village - Luxury at it’s Best, Courtyard House, Seven Year Tax Abatement, 4300 sq. ft., 4BR + Den, 4.5, Garden, Terrace & Fabulous Deck $1,600,000 813 Fitzwater .- Queen Village - Build Your Dream Home on this Fabulous Corner Garage With 3 Exposures 20x80 $1,150,000 117 Lombard - Society Hill - A Beautiful Federal Period Home, 4/3.5, 2800 sq. ft. Lovely Details & Unbelievable Garden 623-25 S. Orianna - Queen Village - It Doesn’t Get Much Better Than This, Double Property & 2 Car Garage - Pristine Perfect - All New 4/3.5 Terrace & Unbelievable Deck $1,100,000 1520 N. Mascher - Old Kensington - 2 year old, Great 3 Bedroom, 3 Bath Condo with Parking $459,900 921 Christian - Bella Vista, A Terrific Corner Property - Triplex $725,000

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39 FAIRVIEW ROAD, PENN VALLEY 5 BED | 5 BATH | 5,881 SQ FT | 1,050,000

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PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY | NOVEMBER 21 - 28, 2019

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New Listing | Society Hill

New Listing | Graduate Hospital

This exceptional light filled 3-story, 3-en suite bedroom, plus powder room townhouse with large garden and parking is one of 37 contemporary townhomes designed by internationally acclaimed architect I.M.Pei 3 BR | 2 /1 Baths

Another stunning contemporary home by renowned Maguire Builders, designed for his personal residence. This home hosts 3 Bedrooms, 3 1/2 Baths, plus a GARAGE with a Lift to accommodate 2 CAR PARKING. The finished Basement has 11’’ ceilings, tile floors, Powder Room, plus storage.PLUS 6 1/2 years remaining on the Tax Abatement!

$1,242,000

$1,195,000

New Listing | Rittenhouse Square This sunny one-bedroom condominium is ready for your furniture. Enter the spacious, sunny living room. Walk through the living room to the dining area with views for miles into South Philadelphia. Large bedroom with a walk-in closet. All your utilities are included in the condo fee! Live in comfort and style in the heart of the most desirable neighborhood in Center City,

$249,000

New Listing | Rittenhouse Square This historically certified home has been turned into a modern masterpiece by renowned Maguire Builders! Now a stunning contemporary with style and comfort consists of 4 Bedrooms, 4 Baths, Den, maple floors, high ceilings, dual HVAC systems, hybrid insulation, custom built-in wardrobe cabinetry, luxurious baths, and a full finished basement.

$1,225,000

New Listing | Brewerytown

New Listing | Spring Arts

Beautiful 3 bedroom 1 bath home tucked away on a quiet, peaceful block in Brewerytown. Extremely well-taken care of by the homeowner. Located close to Girard Avenue, Fairmount Park and the Art Museum area

This spacious and comfortable Spring Arts town home features beautiful character, craftsmanship and original details - high ceilings, exposed brick, marble mantels, ornate crown molding and 8” baseboards. Classic, traditional layout. 3 bedrooms, 3 full bathrooms. All three bedrooms are huge with tons of closet space.

$245,000

$549,000

PW REAL ESTATE To advertise in this section contact Sales

215-543-3743 ext. 104 or sales@philadelphiaweekly.com

NOVEMBER 21 - 28, 2019 | PHILADELPHIA WEEKLY

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