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Contents

June 13-19, 2012

Cover photograph by Kyle Cassidy

Wednesday, June 27

ON THE COVER: Korea and Vietnam veteran Tom Murtha of Philadelphia has tattoos honoring his military service and his late wife, Maria.

6:00–8:00pm - at -

village belle 757 S. Front Street (Corner of Fitzwater Street) in Queen Village

Samples and Drink Specials and Hors D’oeuvres

FEATURE STORY

14 War Paint Philly photographer Kyle Cassidy’s new book explores why military veterans got the tattoos they did. PHILLYNOW 10 Workin’ It The owners of Kung Fu Hoagies have successfully combined their two passions: martial arts and veggies.

On the Web PhillyNOW

A new bill seeks to defund Planned Parenthood, and it’s not at all what it seems.

Gotta have Wawa: That’s what a Nazi group said when it hacked the hoagie shop’s website!

ARTS & CULTURE 25 Calendar PW ’s picks for the week.

PW Style

12 The Breakdown

FOOD 30 Subtle Like a Brick

The place is lovely. Wish we could say the same of the meal.

P H I L A D E L P H I A W E E K LY JUNE 13 - JUNE 19, 2012

STAGE 34 How SoLow Can You Go The third annual festival gets “down and dirty.”

35 Not Just a Pretty Face Reasons to be Pretty is a thoughtful play about being shallow.

ART 36 Hot, Wet Art Vox Populi’s exhibit of

Daddy dearest: The ultimate Father’s Day gift guide.

Make Major Moves Coming here: We’d like to bring your attention to the Scissor Sisters and Hot Chip.

Film New releases: Something From Nothing: The Art of Rap (pictured below).

male erotica oozes with visual metaphors.

SCREEN 38 Rock and a Hard Place The big-screen adaptation of Rock of Ages fails to impress.

MUSIC 42 Nude Awakening For Nude Beach, it’s all about straight-up rock music.

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43 44 46 48 52

SAVAGE LOVE ADULT RECRUITMENT REAL ESTATE OPEN HOUSE

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM


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“INTENSE AND “MILEAF’S PRODUCTION REMARKABLE!” IS SEAMLESS!” - KYW News Radio

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IA SPEC T OFFER TICKE READERS W F O R P E CO D E US

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Feedback 1500 Sansom St., Third Floor Philadelphia. 215.563.7400 Classified Advertising: 215.563.1234 Classified Fax: 215.563.6799 Editor in Chief Stephen H. Segal Managing Editor Anastasia Barbalios Senior Editor Nina Hoffmann Staff Writers Tara Murtha, Michael Alan Goldberg Art Director Drew Phillips Listings Nicole Finkbiner Contributing Writers Jeffrey Barg, Leah Blewett, Sean Burns, Bill Chenevert, Brian Freedman, Aaron Kase, Craig D. Lindsey, Randy LoBasso, Matt Petrillo, Cristina Perachio, Matt Prigge, J. Cooper Robb, Katherine Rochester, Katherine Silkaitis Contributing Photographers Jeff Fusco, Ryan Strand Greenberg, Felicia Perretti, J.R. Blackwell Editorial Interns Olivia Hutchinson, Fiona Lockyer, Marissa Marzano, Caroline Newton, Bill Morse, Ning Shao

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CONCERTS IN THE PARK Wednesdays, August 15th, 22nd & 29th 7:00PM - 9:00PM

Advertising Director Amy Stoller (ext. 144) Retail Account Executives Ray Cross (ext. 164), Peter J. Eisenmann (ext. 147), Isaac Friese (ext. 159), Monica Kanninen (ext. 145), David Muir (ext. 118), Deidre Simms (ext. 163) Classified Senior Account Executive John Maguire (ext. 126) Classified Account Executives Arnetta Reddy (ext. 100), Susanna Simon (ext. 134) Adult Coordinator Toni Flynn (ext. 106) Marketing Coordinator Nicole Leyrer (ext. 116) National Advertising Representative The Ruxton Group 888.2RUXTON Distribution Manager Philip E. Metz (ext. 148) Office Administrator Danielle Mitchell Philadelphia Weekly is published Wednesday by Review Publishing Limited Partnership. Distributed in Philadelphia, Delaware, Montgomery and Chester counties in Pennsylvania and selected other locations in southern New Jersey. Philadelphia Weekly is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. Additional copies of the current issue of the Philadelphia Weekly may be obtained only by Philadelphia Weekly’s authorized contractors or Philadelphia Weekly distributors. No person may, without prior written permission of Philadelphia Weekly, take more than one copy of each Philadelphia Weekly issue. Pennsylvania law prohibits any person from inserting printed material of any kind into a newspaper without the consent of the owner or publisher. Mail subscriptions: six months, $30; one year, $55. Views expressed are not necessarily those of the management. The publisher reserves the right to refuse any advertising. Contents copyright © 2012 by Philadelphia Weekly. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without the written permission of the publisher.

REVIEW PUBLISHING Chairman & CEO Anthony A. Clifton Chief Operating Officer John Gallo Vice President James Stokes Help Desk Jeanne Terne Controller Ginger Monte Webmaster Lindsey Bell Production Manager Holly Siemon Senior Graphic Designer LeTera Haynes Graphic Designer Dionna Gary

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1971-1995 Welcomat

Team Edward Weighs In Regarding Matt Prigge’s review of “Bel Ami,” starring Robert Pattinson: Did you see the same movie as me? I liked the film. Very near the book. While not a great film, it is entertaining and Pattinson is moving up the ranks. He is more than Edward Cullen. RUTHIE, via philadelphiaweekly.com

Maybe you should consider a job change since you are definitely not qualified to critique this film. You seem to hate Robert Pattinson. I’m sure your opinion does not matter in the least to anyone. Mr. Pattinson could buy and sell you. He is one of the most popular actors in Hollywood. I read somewhere that there was a “journalist” that used to write bad reviews about James Dean back in the day. One day, karma bit him in the ass when his job required him to interview Mr. Dean. Mr. Dean refused the interview, but granted it to all the other journalists that requested one. The old saying, “Be careful whose toes you step on today, as they may be connected to the ass you have to kiss tomorrow” applies to you. Maybe a job change for you should be in order. McDonalds is always hiring. SIERRA, via philadelphiaweekly.com

Everyone is entitled to an opinion, and I would never expect one to like something just because I did. However, I am really disappointed with the tone of your review. Surely, you were taught to do better work in journalism school. I do think Pattinson has potential that is still untapped. It is essential that he find the right vehicle and director. He does seem to have staying power and a very enthusiastic fan base. GRACIE, via philadelphiaweekly.com

Singing a Different Tune Regarding Leah Blewett’s review of the Walnut Street Supper Club: This “review” was mean-spirited, nasty and unfair. Eight of us recently went to Walnut Street Supper Club; every one of the eight is a regular diner at Center City restaurants, and every one of the eight raved about the food, service and live entertainment. The manager Blewett called a “boob” could not have been more professional and accommodating. We were told the entree prices had been reduced by $5 the week before we arrived “as a response to the recession.” The entrees ranged from $18 to $24, which was a bargain for top-of-the-line steak and fresh seafood dishes. In addition to everything else that is terrific about Walnut Street Supper Club, owner Ralph Berarducci is one of the most generous and charitable restaurateurs in the Delaware Valley. So not only are you getting fine food, service and entertainment at reasonable prices, but a portion of your bill will be used to help feed some of Philadelphia’s hungry and homeless individuals. LEN LEAR, via email

EMAIL US! All editorial mail should include your name, address and phone number. Letters may be edited for space and/or clarity.

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LOCAL NEWS & POLITICS

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WORKIN’ IT l By Michael Alan Goldberg mgoldberg@philadelphiaweekly.com

Hoagies’ Heroes The owners of food cart Kung Fu Hoagies have successfully combined their two passions: martial arts and veggies.

“Y

o, it’s the Wu-Tang hoagies!” a black kid on a bike says to his buddy as they roll through West Philly’s Clark Park on a recent Sunday morning. Off to the side is a distinctive orange-yellow food cart with a green smoke-breathing dragon painted on its side, big red umbrella and a pair of Chinese throwing knives dangling from either side of a specials board. Paul Davis laughs as he stirs a pot of seitan “chicken” in sesame-peanut sauce. Next to him, partner Steve Renzi cuts and guts fresh hoagie rolls from Cacia’s Bakery in South Philly. “We’ve had a couple nicknames,” says the soft-spoken Davis. “Some people call us the ‘Tofu Dragon.’” The actual name of the cart is Kung Fu Hoagies—a vegetarian/vegan venture that longtime pals and South Philly residents Davis, 31, and Renzi, 30, launched in mid-March. On weekends, the duo sets up at Clark Park; during the week, they’re typically at Passyunk Avenue and Dickinson Street for the lunch rush. They use daily Facebook and Twitter updates to let their followers know where they’re gonna be, and after just three months, they’ve garnered steady lines of customers, glowing Yelp reviews and lots of buzz on the street about where to get a cheap, kickass vegetarian banh mi or noodle bowl. And the kung fu thing isn’t just a gimmick. Five nights a week, Davis and Renzi take classes at Seven Mountains Kung Fu in Center City, where teacher Phuoc Phan instructs them in That Son Vo Dao, a Vietnamese martial art that originated in China. Davis has been studying it for years; Renzi got into it a year ago. “It’s changed me so much as a person, and I don’t know if we’d be doing [Kung Fu Hoagies] without it and without our teacher,” says the gregarious Renzi, adding that Phan has advised the pair on everything from traditional Vietnamese recipes to the artwork that adorns the cart. Davis, a talented visual artist, crafted the cart’s dragon and calligraphy. He’s pretty talented in the food department, too. A Pittsburgh native, Davis has worked in kitchens his entire adult life, including cooking here in Philly at Whole Foods and at Monk’s Cafe, as well as restaurants in

michael alan goldberg

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C.P. Mirarchi, iii

Seitan worshippers: Steve Renzi (left) and Paul Davis operate Kung Fu Hoagies, a vegetarian/ vegan food cart that serves up Vietnamese favorites.

Seattle and San Francisco. Meanwhile, West Chester native Renzi used to cook at Whole Foods and Downey’s on South Street, then became a social studies and special ed teacher at Kensington High School for the Creative and Performing Arts for four years before resigning last year.

Last fall, the duo—both vegetarians— hatched the Kung Fu Hoagies idea, choosing a cart over a food truck because of both the lower initial investment (less than $10,000) and the fact that they both wanted to be out on the street interacting with customers. “I guess a lot of people who know me kind of expected this,” Davis says of the venture. “Like, ‘Oh, it’s another one of Paul’s crazy ideas’ ... But because this brought together all the aspects of my life, I had confidence it would work.” Initially, the plan was to serve vegetarian hot dogs, but that quickly changed to Vietnamese and Chinese cuisine since that was what the pair were eating all the time. “It’s nice to be putting out healthy, tasty food,” says Davis. “I guess Philly can use that, and there aren’t any other food trucks or carts doing quite what we’re doing, but we’re not trying to force people to change. People seem to like it, and good food is good food, I guess.” Davis and Renzi spent months perfecting recipes—a couple of banh mi varieties, a coconut-lemongrass “beef” curry over noodles, an orange-

BBQ “beef” hoagie, side dishes like spicy cucumber, jicama or noodle salads, and more—and going through the process of getting permits to operate their cart on city sidewalks. Since March, 15-to-18-hour workdays, seven days a week, have become the norm. They’re up before sunrise to get the rolls and head to a commissary in Upper Darby where they do much of the prep work—pressing and marinating tofu, chopping vegetables, frying noodles, pickling daikon and carrots, making sauces. Then it’s back to the South Philly garage where they store the cart, loading it up with food and drinks, hauling it to the day’s location, and setting up. At the end of the day, it’s thorough cleaning, then off to kung fu class. More hours are spent doing touch-ups and other maintenance on the cart, filling propane tanks, running errands and thinking up more recipes and future ideas for the business. Both guys average about four to five hours of sleep a night. “It’s a grind, but it’s worth it,” says Renzi, acknowledging that the job doesn’t leave room for relationships or even really hanging out with friends—unless their friends drop by to visit them at the cart. Davis and Renzi have talked about a food truck or even a storefront someday, but for now it’s all about the cart. “We chose this and we love everything about it,” says Davis. “I’m one of the lucky ones to really make work my life and life my work.” n


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How to Spot a Counterfeit Yet another state bill designed to hurt women purports to protect us.

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“The sliding scale saved my life,” says Kelly. “I couldn’t afford $150, even once a year. So to be able to pay $10 and get all the literature I needed regarding lumps in your breasts [and so on], they really make it a one-stop shop.” “I’m gay,” she continues, “so I didn’t really need the reproductive side much.” These days, Kelly goes to another doctor, but she remains grateful to Planned Parenthood for being there when she needed it. “Without [Planned Parenthood],” she says, “I really would have been up a creek without a paddle for getting any type of medical help.”

Kelly is just one of thousands of Pennsylvanians who have relied on Planned Parenthood and other low-cost health centers for affordable medical care. In 2011, Planned Parenthood’s 42 health centers in Pennsylvania cared for more than 120,000 men and women. They provided about 200,000 STD tests and 40,000 cervical-cancer screenings, and detected more than 5,000 abnormal pap tests (if left untreated, the abnormal cells can lead to cancer). They also, of course, provide birth control and abortion services. Even though the organization’s records show that 95 percent of services provided are preventive, if Harrisburg’s Republicans get their way, they’ll sacrifice all those general medicalcare services just to make it harder for low-income women to access abortion— which, by the way, is a legal procedure. To wit, Rep. Daryl Metcalfe (R-Butler County) recently introduced a bill that would sever all state funding to health centers in Pennsylvania that also pro-

vide abortion services. Pennsylvania law already prohibits state funding for abortions. So how would this bill protect women in any way? It doesn’t. This is just another counterfeit bill, one of a long string of them being pushed by politicians who pretend to protect the health of poor women in Pennsylvania while actually working to demolish their access to health care. Spotting counterfeit bills can get confusing, but fear not: You don’t have to follow politics closely to learn how to detect a fake. The first clue is in the bill’s title. In Pennsylvania, if a Republican-backed bill purports to positively impact women’s health, preserve women’s rights or protect religious liberty, it likely doesn’t intend to do any of those things. At this point, I wouldn’t be surprised to hear about a Republicanbacked resolution to rename the uterus the “our-terus.” Metcalfe’s bill title? “Whole Woman’s Health Funding Priorities Act.” Bingo. Defunding pap smears, cervical cancer screenings and birth control in order to shut down abortion services is not prioritizing anything but a culture war. The second way to spot a counterfeit bill is to consider the sponsor. Metcalfe is well-known throughout the state as a vehement social conservative with little prior interest in women’s health. Next, ask yourself who actually wrote the bill; agenda-driven shills rarely bother to write their own. These days, special-interest groups write boilerplate, fill-in-the-state-name legislation, then pass them off to hacks who spin them to the locals. Metcalfe’s was written by the Susan B. Anthony List, a pro-life political-action committee, and the Alliance Defense Fund, a Christian group. The next step in spotting a counterfeit bill is to check out who is standing up there next to the legislator as he or she introduces it. Standing next to Metcalfe we see Diane Gramley, a spokesperson for the Pennsylvania chapter of the Mississippi-based American Family Association (AFA), a group with a mis-


name Kermit Gosnell. Gosnell faces murder charges in the deaths of seven babies and a woman at his ramshackle, renegade clinic in West Philly. Since his 2011 arrest, Gosnell has taken on a strange place in the abortion war,

“★★★★” - PEOPLE

“In Pennsylvania, if a Republican-backed bill purports to positively impact women’s health, preserve women’s rights or protect religious liberty, it likely doesn’t intend to do any of those things.” counter-intuitively fulfilling twin roles as both America’s first alleged serial baby killer and patron saint of antichoice activists. So consider “Gosnell” the political equivalent of yelling fire in the theater: Shady right-wing lawmakers will slap Gosnell’s name onto any law designed to make access to safe abortion services harder, thereby actually increasing the odds of another Gosnell setting up a black-market butcher shop to prey on desperate women. Khempeth Syhalath was arrested on suspicion of performing rogue dentistry in a South Philly basement the same year, but you don’t see anyone trying to shut down real, regulated dentists everywhere else as a result. Cut this out and keep it handy in your wallet or on the fridge, because the next counterfeit bill isn’t too far behind. n

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Gramley didn’t talk about STD screenings or cervical exams, but she did wax philosophical about zygotes and fetuses. “[What if] we killed the one who would have found the cure for cancer? For AIDS?” asked Gramley, apparently forgetting that AFA co-hort Bryan Fischer recently announced that God will cure AIDS when gays stop having sex. Also standing there was the bill’s co-sponsor, state Rep. Kathy Rapp (RForest, McKean and Warren counties). Rapp was recently exposed as a shill for bigwig lobbying group Americans United for Life. Earlier this year, she sponsored their mandatory transvaginal ultrasound bill (dubbed “The Women’s Right-toKnow” Act), then couldn’t even answer questions about it accurately. Anti-women lobbyists, after all, prefer a female mule to smuggle the goods. Next, a white-hot clue: invoking the

“POWERFUL”

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sion to stand up for “traditional JudeoChristian values.” It has a website that features a section on the “Homosexual Agenda.” The AFA has been labeled a hate group by nonprofit civil rights organization Southern Poverty Law Center.

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Tattooed purpose Philly photographer Kyle Cassidy spent four years capturing the stories that U.S. military veterans wanted to immortalize on their bodies. PW presents an exclusive excerpt from Cassidy’s new book of photos and interviews, War Paint: Tattoo Culture & the Armed Forces.

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Jon Wright didn’t want to go to Vietnam; he got drafted. He was only there for eight months in 1966 and ’67, but something he saw there still keeps him from sleeping at night. “I didn’t want those eight months to be my life,” he said, “but I’ve realized that those eight months are my life.” To help come to terms with that, he got two tattoos: one for his unit—the Fourth Battalion, Ninth Infantry—and one to remember the people who went to Vietnam but never left. My understanding of the military got more complicated the more I worked on this book; the more vets I met and photographed; the more days I spent in airports, VFW halls and living rooms, listening to grandfathers, mothers, brothers, sisters. I heard stories of love and loss and success and failure; of profound attachment, overwhelming sadness, and a camaraderie seemingly unknowable by anyone who hadn’t gone through it. I may be the last un-tattooed person of my generation. I’ve always felt that I’ve never done or experienced anything that I’d still want to remember the same way 40 years from now. That may have been different if I’d been in the military. As I saw my friends coming back from wars in Iraq and Afghanistan and Bosnia, memorializing events and people and experiences on their skin, I wanted to draw attention to what they’d been through—and I realized that someone should be writing these stories down. Because if we, as a country, are going to send people to fight, I felt we owed them, at the very least, some time to listen to them when they come back. Some stories are sad, some are happy, most are mixtures of the two. The first tattoo I photographed was on the arm of an 84-year-old man who’d parachuted into France on D-Day and who lost a leg at the Battle of the Bulge. He had a tattoo memorializing his brother who’d been killed fighting in Italy. Sometimes tattoos are signposts, cross-generational invitations to conversation and friendship, symbols of ebullient pride. Sometimes they’re secret, coded messages that few will understand, and other times they’re completely private; no amount of scrutiny will reveal their meaning. War Paint isn’t a book about the bravest warriors or the most beautiful tattoos, it’s a book about ordinary people put in extraordinary circumstances. Thanks for looking. —Kyle Cassidy

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Jeremy Willett Sergeant, Communications Chief, United States Marine Corps, 1997-2007 / OIF1 Feb. 2003–July 2003 with Communications Platoon, Headquarters and Service Company, 6th Engineer Support Battalion, 4th Marine Logistics Group / OIF2 Aug. 2004–Feb. 2005 with Bridge Company “A,” 6th ESB, Joint Task Force June 25, 1997–Nov. 10, 2007

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ix months after boot camp I realized that I still wanted to get a tattoo—I wanted to give myself a mature buffer before I got it, since it was going to be my first tattoo—I started scouting and researching, going to tattoo shops, reading magazines, looking at various tattoos that other Marines had. I started to come up with an idea of what I wanted to have—it was frustrating at first because a lot of the tattoos I saw out there were very cartoon-like, and I didn’t want anything like that. Then I came across one at Captain Jack’s over on Hawthorne, in Portland, Oregon—it was the right detail and image, I had to modify it and customize it, getting it grey scale, getting rid of some extra ornamentation. Then between my two deployments, I did my back piece—a large tribal phoenix—my friend Nate Hudson at Optic Nerve designed it—it was a difficult time frame for me—I felt very displaced coming back from my second tour—reality was so much better there—the sun came up, you woke up, you did your work for the day—it was very hard but you had an idea of what you needed to be doing, there wasn’t so much... clutter, there weren’t so many distractions—you did your work, the sun goes down, you go to sleep, and you get up the next day and do it all over again. Coming back here, the lights, the sounds, were so much more intense. So many more factors that are bombarding you all of a sudden—I felt out of place and was dealing with some difficult times—one of the reasons I wanted to get a phoenix was because of its deep meaning—internationally, with many cultures—the idea of rebirth.... and I had some scarification done to go along with it—I like to look at people’s tattoos, but I really like when they have a story behind it.

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William James Cryer E4, United States Marine Corps, Sep. 16, 2001–April 16, 2010 / 2nd Recon Battalion

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his one is an eagle with the stars and stripes on it, and it has the T initials “USMC” for United States Marine Corps. I just got out of boot camp and I was enthusiastic about getting a military tattoo, I wanted to show it off and I thought everybody had the same tattoos so I wanted to think about something that would be original but would also be patriotic. I went to the parlor and was looking through their stuff and combined a flag with an eagle, it’s a flag with the stars and stripes in it. I wanted it to symbolize freedom and patriotism, but I wanted him to put “United States Marine Corps” at the bottom so that people would know that I was a Marine. It’s my favorite piece because it was my first piece, I’ve grown close to it. When people see it they usually say, “Oh, you served?” and shake my hand and say, “Thank you for what you’ve done.” It’s very gratifying that people appreciate what I’ve done and they see it through my artwork. I got the tattoo on my chest on this side because I wanted it over my heart. It’s the Marine Corps and Semper Fi; Sempter Fidelis means “always faithful,” it’s the Marine Corps motto. I wanted to get this over my heart so that whenever I got down I could always look at it and remind myself that I’m a Marine and that I need to carry myself as a Marine and that I’m part of a brotherhood… I know that whenever I’m in front of a flag and I put my hand over my heart, I’m putting it over the Marine Corps emblem too. This one on my neck I got because I wanted people to really see this one. I have a lot of people that will come up to me and say, “Semper Fi!” when they see it. At the bottom it says “Marine Recon” which is the job I did, I was Force Recon and I got that there because it’s the upper echelon of the Marine Corps and I’m so proud to have done it—it’s the greatest thing I could have done with my life. It’s like a shining beacon to me, a symbol of what I’ve done. I got deployed to Iraq, Afghanistan, and Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, I also spent six months of reconnaissance missions in Kosovo, back when Slobodan Milošević was doing the ethnic cleansing; I was part of the peacekeeping mission. Going from Boston to Kosovo was very different. The people were friendly, they were going through a lot of things, I was glad to be a part of that, to help those people, it was gratifying. That was a lot of urban terrain, too, in that way it was like Iraq, a lot of close encounters, it was basically going against another military, they were organized just like us, they were trained just like us, it was like two swords meeting each other. A lot of the job was building-to-building, doing sweeps in a five-man recon team, check the rooms for bombs, insurgents, you’re looking on the stairs, on the bannisters, for wires, sometimes there’s civilians— sometimes you can’t tell between friend or foe, and that’s the hardest thing. Sometimes the enemy would have a bomb strapped to a kid, or hide weapons on someone that’s innocent, and when you walk into a room, sometimes you can’t tell—it’s splitsecond reactions, you have to know if that person’s a threat. Kosovo prepared me for Afghanistan and Iraq, I learned that wars aren’t won alone, that you can lean on the brother next to you, you work as a team to get the job accomplished. I’m a Marine and it’s the greatest thing I could have done with my life.

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Natasha Bay E5, Oregon National Guard, 2003–2007 / Task Force Phoenix 5, 41st BCT (L)

decided when I was in Afghanistan that I was going to work on two full-sleeve tattoos. The right side was going to be “heaven” and the left side was going to be “hell”—evil and good, just like Afghanistan. I was in the most dangerous part of that place for a year and I learned to take the good with the bad—roll with the punches—you can’t really effect everything in life; sometimes you just have to take it. In Afghanistan I realized nothing is completely good and nothing is completely bad, some things just are. That’s all that mission was. It was just bad throughout the day, and when the day’s over you realize that it wasn’t as bad as you thought it was when you were in it. My main mission was to inform the infantry people that went outside the wire what was going to happen to them when they got on the road. Informing them of where they would most likely get hurt and how to avoid it—lots of IEDs—no matter where you went, it was a bad trip, it was just hot spots everywhere. I get really frustrated sometimes because I feel like we’re really fighting the other forgotten war—when I got home for leave, a lot of my friends were joking that Afghanistan wasn’t that bad— they just didn’t even know. And they don’t know that it’s not all bad—we’re doing good things—we’re training the Afghan people to do better for their country, to fight against the people that aren’t going to do them any good; nobody understands that we were doing good over there—that it wasn’t just going outside of the wire and killing people. I got this tattoo in November of 2007, at the Lucky Dog Tattoo Shop in Seaside. Bob Roughton did it. I took my boyfriend out with me, he got a little tattoo, too, then four hours later, I got mine. It was kind of sunny down in Seaside, which is unusual, so we went down to the beach. I used to live there for 14 years, so it was a lot of me getting caught up on what had changed and what it looked like. We walked on the beach, went and looked at my old house and then went to dinner. I joined when I was 17, that was four and a half years ago.

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Bill Guarnere E5, United States Army, 1942–1945 / Easy Company, 2nd Battalion, 506th Parachute Infantry Regiment, 101st Airborne Division

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got this paratrooper tattoo after D-Day. Me and Johnny Martin got a pass for London. When you go on a pass overseas in England you hitchhike. All the trucks are going your way, they take you, then you get off and another truck picks you up. We wound up at an Air Force base, a Royal Air Force base. We got something to eat and a couple of pilots come over to us and started talking to us and they said, “You want to come to Scotland?” “You gotta be kidding!” They were fighter pilots, they had these Spitfires, so Johnny got in one and I got in the other one. It took about 12 minutes, we got to Edinburgh, Scotland. That’s when we got the tattoos. Drunk as a skunk. If I was sober I never would have gotten it, but I was drunk. We had a good time up there. Edinburgh, 1944. Right after D-Day. Drunk. I would never get tattoos sober. Johnny Martin, he just died about a year ago. When we come back, I went up to see him right after the war. He lived up in Columbus, Ohio. [My wife] Frannie and I went to see him and he said to me quietly: “Don’t tell my mom I have a tattoo, and don’t tell her I drink.” He was nothing but a souse! You can’t hide the damn tattoo, and you can’t hide the fact that you drink. And when they found out, they blamed me. So I took the blame. This one here [left arm], you can just about see, it’s a cross and it’s got my brother’s name on it—“Dunc,” that’s my brother who was killed in Italy, that was his nickname “Dunc,” that’s like a cross with a wreath on it. He’s buried in Cassino, Italy. That’s the last one I got done.

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CAMILLE PISSARRO AND HIS DESCENDANTS All Artwork Available for Purchase

Concerts in the Garden

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The Impressionist Gallery

Experience groundbreaking performances inspired by the renowned sculptor EXHIBIT ON VIEW I NOW - JUNE 17TH, Also on view with Pissarro: Renoir, Degas, Cezanne, Monet, Cassatt and others

The Impressionist Gallery Gallery Hours: M-Sat 11-6pm, Sun 12-5pm or by appointment

210 North 21st Street

At the former Please Touch Museum building

Philadelphia PA 19103 215-731-9200 • www.ibrewster.com

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Sunday, July 22: music of tristan murail Saturday, July 28: music of philippe hurel 5:30–8:00 p.m. $25 each concert; $45 for both

COME MEET A BEATLE IN PERSON Saturday, June 23rd at Caesar’s in Atlantic City Purchase of any of Ringo’s Artwork admits you to a private meet and greet before his show.

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This program, including commissioning and presentation, has been supported by The Pew Center for Arts & Heritage through the Philadelphia Music Project and by the French American Cultural Exchange through The French-American Fund for Contemporary Music.

Now thru Saturday June 23rd Mon-Sat 11 am – 6 pm, Sunday 12 pm – 5pm. All works of art are available for purchase. All of Ringo’s proceeds from art sales will be donated to the Lotus Foundation

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Spectral ImpreSSIonS performed by the argento chamber enSemble

Check it out on the web…www.ibrewster.com

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Reta and her son, Robert Rae E3, United States Marine Corps, 2002-2006 / Tattoos by Jim Quinn, Inkjam

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obert: The tattoo on my forearm, my unit symbol, I was with Third Battalion, Second Marines, weapons company. It’s the EGA—Eagle, Globe, and Anchor—with a sword and the letters “OIF,” Operation Iraqi Freedom; 0/3-31—that was my MOS, machine gunner, and on the inside of my arm I have two spent rounds, shell casings, and my buddy’s name and the date he was KIA on our deployment and I was hit by an IED myself—you can’t really get an IED tattoo, so I did the next best thing, I got a frag-grenade with someblast behind it. Reta: My tattoo says “Marine daughter, wife, mom.” My father served, my husband served, my sons served, and my daughter did a stint in the Army. My grandfather served in Vietnam and then my dad served in Desert Storm; both of my boys served in Iraq. Sending a child to war is... hell. You want to support them as hard as they can—you’re proud, because very few people are standing in line today to serve in our military. I saw my mom go through it; I met my husband shortly after he got home from Beirut; and I had two boys who went through in the Marine Corps, so it’s been a family thing. We don’t always necessarily agree with our children’s decisions... no parent wants to bury their children first. We prayed night and day when my oldest was in Iraq. I’ve never been so scared in my life. But I was proud of him—if you love them, then you make the sacrifice with them. I was on Mass. Ave. coming home from work, about 1:30 in the afternoon, and I got a phone call and it was my Bob and he says, “Mom, I’ve been hit and I’m hurt, I’m alive but I’m hurt.” And then the phone went dead. I was screaming into the phone, “Rob, Rob, Rob, talk to me!” but there was nothing. And we went three days and there was no information no calls ... nothing. And we didn’t know if he was dead or alive. As long as there’s a breath left in them, they let them call home. I didn’t know how bad he was, and the pain and sorrow of losing a child—I was not prepared to sacrifice a child. And then a week and a half later I got a call that he was recovering and in the Iraqi hospital. And I’ve never been so grateful in my life, but I still wanted my son home. And when he arrived in North Carolina back from Iraq—I’ve never been so happy to see someone in my life, so happy. He’s been my savior. I got my tattoo when Bob was still overseas, after he was injured.

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Nicholas Cherry E5, United States Army, 2001-2010 / A-Company 3/67 ARBN; Afghanistan (2002), Iraq (2004 and 2007) / Tattoos by Dre Collins, Ft. Hood, Texas; Killer Tattoos, Killen, Texas; PFC Andrew Gerdner Remadi, Iraq; Lori Allen, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

he second time I got shot I was in Iraq. We were riding in a convoy and I had my arm out the window and this random bullet just hit me in the arm. I said, “Hey! I just got shot!” Someone behind me said, “Are you dead?” I said, “No” and they said, “Well, wrap that shit up.” So I wrapped a bandage around my arm and about a half-mile up the road we hit an IED and our vehicle rolled over. I hit the roof on the inside. My heart stopped and they brought me back with the paddles, it’s just like in the movies. I remember I was completely numb and they paddled me and it was like going from being asleep to falling off the bed into a tub of ice water. I was in the hospital for 11 months after that. I got a tattoo of a zombie right over the bullet scar because I’d been dead and I came back. I have a tattoo for every bad thing that happened to me in the Army. I have 18 tattoos.

T

Kyle Cassidy is currently photographing science-fiction writers and their desks, as well as assembling a collection of portraits of roller derby players. Read more about both on his website, kylecassidy.com, or follow @kylecassidy on Twitter. War Paint is published by Schiffer Publishing and is available online and in bookstores everywhere.

P H I L A D E L P H I A W E E K LY JUNE 13 - JUNE 19, 2012

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6/13-6/19/12 Food

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Arts and Culture Brick: a lovely place to hang, except for the food.

Page 30

StAge Solo artists embrace the 3rd annual SoLow Festival.

Page 34

Art Taking a crack at painting ... literally.

Page 36

Screen The big-screen adaptation of Rock of Ages fails to impress.

MUSIc Three dudes, rock music and one Nude Beach.

Page 42

Judah Friedlander This week, writer, actor and stand-up comedian Judah Friedlander will try to blow your mind when he performs as his alter-ego, “The World Champion.� Page 26

[

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event

Wednesday

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Get Behind Me Satan

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ince 1996, Brat Productions’ mission has been to expand the boundaries of theater and to create shows for young, adventurous audiences. This season, the company introduced Jess Conda’s acclaimed Rock & Awe “guerilla cabaret series,” which concludes this week with its fourth and final installment, Get Behing Me Satan. Directed by the inventive Lee Ann Etzold, Satan is inspired by the White Stripes album of the same name. Performing the album in its entirety, the show is structured as a church service led by a traveling Evangelical family with Conda playing the religious clan’s “Mother Mother.” Letting the music create the story, the songs emerge as parables of sorts, with the album functioning as a catalyst for the show’s theatricality that includes obliterating the fourth wall and bringing the audience into the frenzied performance as participants rather than passive observers. J. coopeR Robb

8pm. $21-$28. Helium Comedy Club, 2031 Sansom St. 215.496.9001. heliumcomedy.com

music

Sex Toy Bingo If a good-old fashioned game of bingo has never got you feeling hot and bothered, then clearly you’ve been playing the wrong way. Join Philly’s favorite out-of-work porn stars Jack the Ripper, Dr. Sarah Potter and Cucumber Weir as they host a night of bingo debauchery. While checking your boxes nice and slow, Jack will offer saucy conversation starters from his “Sex in the News” segment, and Dr. Potter will school folks on the fascinating history of sex toys. Everyone will receive two cards—thus doubling their chances to scream out “O 69” in their best bedroom voice—and as the games get harder, the prizes get even bigger. Nicole FiNKbiNeR 8pm. $10. The Trocodero, 1003 Arch St. 215.922.5483. thetroc.com

music

Marissa Nadler Waifish, fey, small-boned and big-eyed, Marissa Nadler looks too delicate to lift an acoustic guitar, let alone coax spine-chilling folk-toned melodies from one. Her voice is as silky and gorgeous as her pale-white skin. She’s also a savvy businesswoman; over the last couple of years, she has established her own label to record, distribute and promote her music. Autonomy seems to agree with her. She’s coming off a pair of self-released albums, last year’s self-titled and this year’s Sister, that mark her best, most unworldly work yet. JeNNiFeR Kelly

Fri., June 15, 10:30pm. $12. Underground Arts, 12th and Callowhill sts. 267.586.9093. bratproductions.org

9pm. $10. With Faces on Film. Johnny Brendas, 1201 N. Frankford Ave. johnnybrendas.com

P H I L A D E L P H I A W E E K LY JUNE 13 - JUNE 19, 2012

k at e r a i n e s

Thursday

limited involvement with Yellow Submarine, an animation spectacular that recycles some song favorites—plus drops a couple unreleased tracks, including the George gems “Only a Northern Song” and “It’s All Too Much”—while voice actors rock passable Fab Four imitations. Alas, United Artists deemed this insufficient, thus necessitating the disastrous Let It Be documentary. Bad for the Beatles, good for humanity: Though Submarine, newly restored (again), is more fun before returning to hippie Pepperland—and debatably peaks early with the grim, photorealist “Eleanor Rigby” segment—director George Dunning and crew create psychedelia whose playfulness doesn’t require drugs. Partly because it is drugs. MaTT pRigge

Oh, and he also played “The Hug Guy” in that Dave Matthews Band video. N.F.

co m e dy

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Judah Friedlander

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Did you know that when this longtime comic isn’t grossing everyone out or making Liz Lemon’s life difficult as Frank Rossitano on 30 Rock, he’s busy taking calls from the Pentagon, teaching karate to exotic dancers and being the greatest ping-pong player in the world? These are just a few of the many outlandish claims of greatness Friedlander will make when he rolls into town to perform as his alter-ego, “The World Champion.” Though his trademark slogan-adorned trucker hats and massive black glasses make him one of the most recognizable faces in comedy, you may not realize that Friedlander has actually penned his own book and appeared in more than 20 movies including Zoolander, Meet the Parents and Wet Hot American Summer.

Kimbra In light of the incredible yet unlikely popularity of Gotye’s “Somebody That I Used to Know,” the world has naturally focused on the song’s Belgian-Australian protagonist. But the female who adds a verse and backup vocals to the track deserves attention, too. The 20-something New Zealander, also known as Kimbra Johnson, shares Gotye’s taste for tenderhearted, lean pop that avoids too much polish or studio gimmickry. Her 2011 debut, Vows, contains two different-sounding examples of this aesthetic. The coffeehouse come-on of “Settle Down” is built out of Kimbra’s warm, agile voice, handclaps, breezy background harmonies and particularly wiry instrumentation. Meanwhile, the cool “Cameo Lover” starts with sparkling croons and a sparse club beat before exploding into an exhilarating bubblegum chorus. ReyaN ali 7:30pm. $29.50-$36.50. With Foster the People + Tokyo Police Club. The Mann Center, 5201 Parkside Ave. manncenter.org

Friday

7pm. $5-$9. International House, 3701 Chestnut St. 215.895.6535. ihousephilly.org

c o m e dy

Mani Party Fresh from the Ladies Are Funny Festival in Austin, Texas, the gals of ManiPedi, “Philly’s most fallopian-tubed sketch comedy group,” are hosting a fun summer bash, equipped with three of the best things in life: comedy, ice cream and dancing. While licking a cone of rocky road, guests will be treated to the comedic stylings of local stand-up comic Carolyn

music

15 Tom Paxton When Dylan plugged in at the Newport Folk Festival in 1965, most of the folk world followed, but not Tom Paxton. Paxton has continued to make eccentric, politicallycharged but acoustic folk music for the last five decades, earning the respect of his peers (Sandy Denny and Joni Mitchell have covered his songs) and multiple Grammys, including a 2009 Lifetime Achievement Award. But even as one of folk’s grand old men, Paxton retains a sharp partisan edge. His set list spans old favorites like “The Last Thing on My Mind” and “Ramblin’ Boy,” vintage lefty ditties like “What Did You Learn in School Today” and up-to-the-minute skewerings of current political figures. J.K. 8pm. $29.50-$45. Sellersville Theater, 24 West Temple Ave., Sellersville. st94.com

Film

Yellow Submarine For reasons that defy logic and taste, the Beatles were not terribly pleased with Help!, their second theatrical motion picture. Throw in the more or less deserved hostility that greeted their Magical Mystery Tour TV special, and the quartet were understandably leery of completing their three-film contract with United Artists. Hence, their painfully

k i m -t h a o n g u y e n

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t h e at e r

Busa. Next up is local sketch troupe American Breakfast, four funny locals who enjoy each other’s company. Finally, ManiPedi will take the stage; if you’ve never seen five uninhibited, trucker-mouthed girls cracking offbeat jokes while donning adorable onesie pajamas, you’re in for quite a treat. After the show, the audience is welcome to stick around and join the lovely quintet for a dance party. N.F. 9pm. $10. Connie’s Ric Rac, 1132 S. Ninth St. 215.279.7587. conniesricrac.com

event

The Daily Show Writers The writers and producers of Comedy Central’s satirical news program The Daily Show are constantly heard, but not often seen. Their jokes, exhaustive research and clever political parallels are the stuff we’ve come to know and love over the years—not to mention the stuff that has earned the show 16 Emmy awards. Tonight, we meet three wheels in the show’s circuit: Co-executive producer Adam Lowitt and writers Hallie Haglund and Josh Rabinowitz step out from behind the big, blue curtain and into the spotlight. abigail bRuley 7:30pm. $10. Tin Angel, 20 S. Second St. 215.928.0770. tinangel.com


event

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Selfless of the Earth” show serious promise, but we’ll wait and see if the potential of their fourth record materializes. r.A. 3pm. $12. The Barbary, 951 Frankford Ave. r5productions.com

event

Philly Punx Block Party While the annual Philly Punx Picnic is well over a week away, it’s never too early to start running on party mode. The Punx Block Party offers food, music and a DIY flea market with hoards of vendors selling records, crafts, new and used clothes and punk accessories. Grab something to eat and wander around the block or stick around for live music from bands with names that would make your parents cringe: Rubbish, the Shakes, Artificial Limbs, Dead People Screaming and more. Grindcore House, Creep Records, Crash Bang Boom and other rad institutions will be giving away prizes to support the 2012 Punx Picnic fundraising raffle. Ashley Kole Noon-8:30pm. Free. 1500 block of S. Taney Street. phillypunxpicnic.blogspot.com

event

Mausoleum Horror Convention This week, the Philadelphia Mausoleum of Contemporary Art hosts a festival filled with films, games and workshops dedicated to the wildness and weirdness of horror. Catch members of the Divine Hand Ensemble show off their classical-driven violin skills, take in a kooky sex-education performance from Screw Smart, or watch Mr. Deadguy’s horrorthemed burlesque show. If you still haven’t had enough of the strange and obscure, catch the 10 p.m. screening of two oddly entertaining movies—Manborg (about a half man, half robot) and Comforting Skin (in which a woman’s tattoos come to life). BrendA hillegAs 11am. $7. Philadelphia Mausoleum of Contemporary Art, 531 N. 12th St. philamoca.org

Bloomsday

Bloomsday is a worldwide celebration of the day Leopold Bloom made his odyssey through Dublin in James Joyce’s masterpiece novel Ulysses. Our very own Rosenbach Museum & Library houses the only complete manuscript of the novel written in Joyce’s own hand, so it’s fitting that they host one of the world’s largest Bloomsday celebrations each year. Joyce enthusiasts will lead the event with lively readings of this classic work. Bring your copy of Ulysses and flip through the pages with fellow literature lovers. Writer, broadcaster and BBC host Frank Delaney will be the featured reader at the event. Delaney hosts a podcast series called Re: Joyce, which deconstructs, examines and illuminates Ulysses in five-minute broadcasts. KAtelynn hArtmAn

Verse Some breakups just aren’t meant to last. In February 2009, Providence, R.I. hardcore outfit Verse went kaput after a six-year run. But by last December, the foursome were together again, citing burnout and problems on the home front as the cause of their shortlived death. Although Verse hasn’t added any original flourishes to the hardcore scene, it’s good to have the band’s not-too-raw, grueland-grits style back inciting mosh pits and sweat-soaked dog piles. Next month, Verse releases Bitter Clarity, Uncommon Grace, which vocalist Sean Murphy says focuses on life lessons and problems his friends and family have experienced. The self-flagellating staccato riff and avalanche of a chorus on “The

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Destroyer Vancouver’s Dan Bejar is going on two decades of writing ramshackle, whimsical indie rock under the nom de guerre Destroyer. Over the span of nine albums, plus a few EPs, the sometimes-collaborator of the New Pornographers has written slightly odd, often atonal, tunes that are uplifting and full of vim and vigor. With his inimitable voice—an earnest, gravelly, quasi-falsetto— omnipresent, Bejar has morphed from the noise-rock/folk-troubadour of his early days to shoegaze-inspired Happy Mondays dance beats to the new-age and easy-listening influences found on his most recent album, 2011’s Kaput. Bejar’s verbose lyrics, full of vignettes and non sequitors, tie together his guitarand key-driven melodies and dynamic vocal stylings. KAtherine silKAitis 8:30pm. $16-$18. With Sandro Perri. Union Transfer, 1026 Spring Garden St. utphilly.com

monday

music

18

Philly Rising: Beatles Edition Beatlemania comes to World Cafe Live during this special variation of the usual Philly Rising

event

tuesday

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Philadelphia FIGHT Prison Re-Entry Summit Philadelphia FIGHT’s 10th annual Beyond the Walls: Prison Health Care and Re-entry Summit explores the trials and tribulations affecting our ever-growing incarcerated population. Bringing together former prisoners, healthcare providers, probation officers and prison staff, the summit presents a series of informational workshops aimed at educating the public about incarceration. Workshops like “I’ll Have the Fed Combo With Lettuce, Tomato, and Mayo” and “What to Expect When Giving Birth While Incarcerated: The Tale of a Prison Doula” will reveal and relate intimate details of incarcerated life and shed light on a issue that truly affects us all. BrAd ForBes 8:30am. Free. Pennsylvania Convention Center, 12th and Arch sts. 215.985.4448. fight.org

Neil Hamburger

N

eil Hamburger’s brand of comedy is never exactly comfortable. It’s an amalgam of hostility, obscenity and piety-puncturing, all delivered in a restless, pacing, semi-rant, drink in hand, as Hamburger belts out unanswerable questions like: “Whhhhhhhhhhy did God create herpes?” Hamburger has a peculiarly combative relationship with his fans, who invite and even clamor for his abuse. People who sit near the front are, quite often, drawn into the melee, derided as “Zipper Lips” if their performance is unsatisfactory. Still, you don’t want to get carried away. There’s a whole subset of YouTube devoted to Hamburger-eviscerating hecklers, which is funny as long as it’s not you. J.K.

Tues., June 19, 9pm. $12-$14. With Duncan Trussell and Doogie Horner. Johnny Brendas, 1201 N. Frankford Ave. johnnybrendas.com

Since 2007, the creators of Stripped Stories, Giulia Rozzi and Margot Leitman, have hosted steamy storytelling events in which audiences are encouraged to divulge, muse and laugh at their own sexual misadventures. The show severs barriers and preconceived notions about the way we talk about sexuality; Your dirty laundry is being aired, and it’s embarrassing, refreshing and strangely delightful. Amidst the hosts’ frisky, blunt and awkward moments, expect a high-caliber show as Elna Baker, Dave Hill and Dava Krause grace the stage to tell their own enticing tales. tushArA JewAhAr 8pm. $12-$15. Union Transfer, 1024 Spring Garden St. strippedstories.firstpersonarts.org

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music

music

7pm. Free. World Cafe Live, 3025 Walnut St. 215.222.1400. worldcafelive.com

comedy

P H I L A D E L P H I A W E E K LY JUNE 13 - JUNE 19, 2012

Noon-7pm. Free. The Rosenbach Museum & Library, 2008-2010 Delancey Place. 215.732.1600. rosenbach.org

sunday

open-mic night. In addition to an original piece, all artists must each perform one Beatles song. Each performance is judged by a panel—which includes WCL staff and a sponsor representative—and if an artist wins for the week, they’ll be invited back at the end of the month for the Best of Philly Rising. There, each of those performers will show off their best in a full set, in hopes of winning exclusive discounts on studio time and an editorial feature in Origivation magazine. These monthly winners have a chance at the Annual Prize Package: a consultantion with Mad Dragon Records CEO Marcy Wagman, a music video shot by GGM Productions, a bunch of promotional posters and assistance recording and releasing an E.P. How’s that for getting by with a little help from your friends? A.K.

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saturday

spoken word

Stripped Stories


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OPENING JULY

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P H I L A D E L P H I A W E E K LY JUNE 13 - JUNE 19, 2012

Complimentary Moretti beer with purchase of $10 or more 11AM – 3 PM, 5 PM – 11PM

Mussel Bar All-day BBQ: grilled 24 oz. bone-in ribeye, bratwurst, smoked chicken, 16 oz. veal chop; items include Chef Wiedmaier’s Antigoon beer 11AM – 11PM

One 16 oz. bone-in filet mignon served with a glass of Jordan Cabernet for $70 5 PM – 10 PM

Village Whiskey Village Burger and Chef Garces’ Signature Four Roses Single Barrel Bourbon for $20 11: 3 0AM – 11PM

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Photo: Steve Legato


JUNE 16

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Subtle Like a Brick 1415 Locust St 215-985-1163

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happy hour specials $2

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The place is lovely, even if the dinner is less so. By Brian Freedman bfreedman@philadelphiaweekly.com

A

P H I L A D E L P H I A W E E K LY JUNE 13 - JUNE 19, 2012

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s a committed omnivore, I make it a policy never to apply human feelings or emotions to the flesh I eat. Give a cow pasture to wander through, a chicken all the space and freedom it requires. But when it comes to their slaughter, I chalk it up to a food-chain sort of thing: We’re higher up than they are, so we eat them. It’s the circle of life. Hakuna matata. Cue the Elton John. But I have no hesitation when I say the following: The skate that I had to gnaw my way through at Brick gave its life for no apparent reason. Because I could have derived as much pleasure from a baseball mitt, or an under-hydrated flank of salt-cod. This wing was so overcooked that it had taken on the texture of dried-out chicken, was seasoned unevenly, and plated, amateurishly, with barelyroasted grapes, bland cauliflower, and a brown butter sauce as characterful as Celine Dion singing “No Sleep Till Brooklyn.” It was just one in a series of vaguely depressing missteps. Our waitress kept on forgetting which beers were out of stock, which resulted in our having to order multiple times. The list itself is inconsistent, with some selections noted in their entirety and others simply with the brewer’s name. So which Sly Fox will you have? Which Lagunitas? You’ll have to ask; it’s not specified in writing. The space itself retains a sense of neighborhoody sophistication, with enough light coming in from the sidewalk to brighten up the tables near the windows—as well as cozier, more indirectly lit corners to sit in that offer a greater sense of intimacy. In this sense, its balance of conviviality and romance is thoughtfully achieved and is one of the highlights of an evening there. But the food really burrowed into my soul and elicited a deep, break-upstyle depression. An order of duck nachos was a plate of—wait for it—four chips. Each was topped with a forgettable duck confit, a glop of crema, and pedestrian avocado mousse. The chips were straight from a bag and heading toward stale, and seasoned with a spice blend as electrifying as an afternoon at the DMV. There also was no perceptible acid or other sign of life in this overpriced hillock of mediocrity. Chicken fried rock shrimp were encased in a gluey carapace that was made additionally repellent by a

fe l i ci a pe r r e tti

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food & drink

Try the brunch: Brick’s stuffed French toast is made with cannoli cream and Baileys.

buffalo-wing-style sauce and “Maytag aioli” whose juxtaposition of funkiness and high-toned heat did a disservice to actual Buffalo-style anything I’ve had recently. A bowl of clams with remarkably dull chorizo proved that the addition of lots of butter does not, in fact, make everything better. Rather, when it’s unaccompanied by enough acid or seasoning (even given the white wine in it), it merely makes things heavy. The sad kernels of corn, the pieces of tomato, and the sporadic clove of roasted garlic did little to lift the occasionally gritty clams beyond the level of the piddling. Lamb burger, ostensibly a signature dish (it’s set apart from the surrounding items by a square frame on the page), was overworked to the point of meatloafiness in texture. Its crown of mahogany-toned “spicy onion jam” leaned far too heavily on an almost molasses-like sense of sweetness that obliterated the

Manchego and all but a whiff of the meat’s gaminess. The fries, which I’d been hoping would redeem this Hindenburg of a sandwich, were underfried and floppy. Desserts demonstrated the same sense of confusion in concept and carelessness in execution. The so-called “Brickwich” was a slab of flavorless ice cream slapped between two thoroughly generic chocolatechip cookies. The brownie, also devoid of much flavor, was served in a martini glass, a trend I’d thought had mercifully died five years ago. And serving a square-edged brownie in a triangular martini glass makes the physicality of eating it unsurprisingly difficult. This, unfortunately, seems to be a restaurant nearly devoid of a sense of guiding culinary principle. As it stands now, Brick isn’t just the name of the restaurant; it’s also a description of what you may feel like resides in your stomach after a meal here. n

Brick American Eatery 1708 Lombard St. 267.639.9440 Cuisine: American. Hours: Sun.-Tues., 5-10pm; Wed.-Sat., 5-11pm; Brunch, Sat.-Sun., 10am-3pm. Price range: $1.50-$22. Atmosphere: Attractive and clean-lined. Food: Serious issues from conception through execution. Service: Very sweet, but confused and not terribly professional.


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prodigal SonS Welcomed neW WebSite:

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bar food as it should be

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1700 E Passyunk Ave birraphilly.com | 267.324.3127

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food & drink Recent Restaurant Reviews Blue Cat

Blackened Green Beans : Bistro Salad : Fresh Chicken Salad Fresh Burger on LeBus Brioche Bun : Jambalaya : Oyster Po’ Boy w/Remoulade sauce Fresh Sausage Sandwiches : Fresh Pommes Frites w/Monk’s Bourbon Mayo

Rebel Rock Bar & Bites

P H I L A D E L P H I A W E E K LY JUNE 13 - JUNE 19, 2012

LUNCH BUFFET $8.95 DINNER BUFFET $11.95

Cuisine: Bar food with a side of music. The house mac ’n’ cheese is creamy, bright and big enough to share, whether served plain or studded with lobster meat or bacon; it’s compulsively eatable, and on two separate occasions, I found myself cleaning the plate. Gravy fries, beneath melted cheese slices and savory dark brown gravy, are the stuff that hangover cures are made of. Braised pork sliders arrive three to an order, with sweet and savory pulled pork studded with apples generously piled onto fluffy, buttered and grilled buns. (Leah Blewett)

NOW SERVING BEER

10% off buffet

Just around the corner from Chili’s at

60 S. 38TH ST • 215-662-0818

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Nomad Pizza 611 S. Seventh St. 215.238.0900. nomadpizzaco.com Cuisine: Considerate, well-constructed pizza. This is as neighborhoody and pleasant as it gets, a charming oasis from the craziness of South Street a block away, and a great entry to the city’s ever-expanding pizzastakes. All of the pizzas are framed by a dough that’s crafted in-house. Straightforward margherita di buffala pizza benefited from the palate-filling milkiness of the cheese. Against the simple, elegant San Marzano sauce and gentle dusting of sea salt and pepper, this pizza worked on a deeply primal level. (B.F.)

Alla Spina 1410 Mt. Vernon St. 215.600.0017. allaspinaphilly.com

Open 7 Days a Week • FREE Delivery Expires 6/30/12. Not Valid with any other discount.

Margherita pizza at Nomad

felicia per rett i

Sitar lndia

Mac ’n’ cheese at Rebel

Russet 1521 Spruce St. 215.546.1521. russetphilly.com

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Cuisine: Italian and French-inspired, daily changing menu focused around local ingredients. Russet, a B.Y.O.B housed in a converted rowhome in Rittenhouse, crafts a daily menu around a few choice local ingredients. Hand-rolled garganelli pasta comes with spinach, a sunny-side-up egg and crispy, thick-

1002 Race St. 215.238.8883 Cuisine: Wide-ranging Chinese. M Kee is the kind of place you root for: The service couldn’t be nicer or more accommodating, and the restaurant itself, with its cheery orange accents and uniforms, is welcoming. The highlights are probably what you’d expect—they’re hanging right in the window. Excellently named “roast pig” is just that: Tender rectangles of remarkably “porky” pork, each resting beneath a layer of cracker-crisp skin that’s a beautifully deep shade of mahogany. Order too much of this and bring it home. It’ll make an amazing next-day snack. (B.F.)

The Pickled Heron

100 Spring Garden St. 215.925.1606. rebelphiladelphia.com

The most variety of Indian cuisine on campus

M Kee

fe licia pe rre tti

gracetavern.com

1921 Fairmount Ave. 267.519.2911. bluecatrestaurant.com Cuisine: Latin-inspired comfort food. Blue Cat’s airy, friendly atmosphere, casual and competent service, and comfortable pan-Latin food bring new freshness and life to its Fairmount neighborhood. Salmon filet, beneath a gorgeous crust from the cast-iron skillet, is a simple, delicate dish, topped with a mango salsa as straightforward as it is bright. Chacarero, a riff on the Chilean sandwich, is piled high with avocado, string beans, red pepper and grilled chicken; this is a sandwich that’s as filling as it is unexpectedly good for you. (Brian Freedman)

cut guanciale—unsmoked Italian bacon made from pig jowl or cheek. After breaking the egg yolk to coat the pasta, the resulting taste is that of a deconstructed carbonara. Stinging nettles make an appearance on the American red snapper, alongside Jerusalem artichokes and a tomato fondue that adds a sweet acidity to each bite. (Cristina Perachio)

Cuisine: Italian gastropub. Defying expectations is the name of the game at Alla Spina, where Marc Vetri’s widely acclaimed hospitality gets a lowbrow make-under to match the cuisine. Pig tails are fried, rendering the considerable fat succulent and the strands of meat both crisp and redolent with piggy goodness—think crunchy bacon and fatty pork belly, twisted together around a bone not unlike a chicken wing. Awash in fennel agrodolce and topped with the filmiest hint of fennel fronds, they are best eaten with your fingers, a lip-smacking treat that manages to be at once sweet, sour, salty and rich. (L.B.)

2218 Frankford Ave. 215.634.5666. thepickledheron.com Cuisine: Contemporary American by way of France. The Pickled Heron turns out a seared foie gras that ranks among my favorites in town, expertly cooked to buttery tenderness without a hint of over-searing and served over a golden raisin and black pepper jam that is both a sweet foil and a thoughtful complement to the faintly metallic character of the foie. Caramelized brioche underneath it all adds crunch and heft. Seared scallops are tender clouds drifting on sunchoke puree and a scattering of toothsome fava beans, the entire dish brightened by a judicious squeeze of lemon. (L.B.)

Vedge 1221 Locust St. 215.320.7500 Cuisine: Ambitious, creative vegan. Vedge, which resides in the stunning space once occupied by Deux Cheminées, does more to bridge the chasm between the artificially distant worlds of the omnivore and the vegan than any restaurant I’ve ever visited. Grilled gochujang tofu boasts three (three!) separate rounds of marinating and arrives in a shallow pool of smoked miso dashi, crowned by a translucent lace of yuba “cracklin,” and accompanied by an edamame puree: soy beans four ways, each of them remarkable. Roasted golden beats are layered on pumpernickel with smoked tofu, avocado, capers and a cucumber dill sauce to perfectly embody the fatty, satisfying richness of a smoked salmon sandwich. (B.F.)


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How SoLow Can You Go?

The 3rd annual festival dedicated to solo artists gets “down and dirty.” By Nicole Finkbiner nfinkbiner@philadelphiaweekly.com

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n the tiny studio space at Yoga 34 in West Philly, local actor and playwright Chris Davis looks exhausted as he attempts to bring his experimental one-man show, Drunk Lion, to life. Scrutinizing every inflection and gesture, the 30-year-old morphs seamlessly into an array of bilingual characters—both man and beast—all while periodically breaking the fourth wall to translate bits of Spanish dialogue or deliver a humorously poignant monologue in English. “Theatrically speaking, this is by far the hardest task I’ve given myself,” the South Philly says of the show, which tells the tale of an unlikely friendship formed between an alcoholic Mexican lion and a foreigner who doesn’t know a lick of Spanish. “I want to match the meaning, feelings and guidance of my own words.” With the exception of the obvious fictional elements, the show is largely inspired by Davis’ time living in Mexico, where he taught English for three years. “I like to think I’m honoring some sort of memory of it,” says Davis, whose last play, Lion (El Lion), was a surprise hit at 2011’s Live Arts and Philly Fringe Festival; it later earned “Most Original Script” at the 2011 Philadelphia Urban Theatre Festival. As for his obsession with lions, it all stems from a snuff video he saw of a man being mauled by a lion, playing on a TV in the middle of a huge Mexico City marketplace. “No matter what I did, I could not get that particular image of the lion out of my head,” he says. Which is why, after the play was sitting in his drawer for about a year, he decided he needed to bring it to life. Now, Drunk Lion will be one of more than 15 original solo works debuting over the next 11 days as part of the 3rd Annual SoLow Festival, a grassroots event dedicated to the artistic growth and creation of solo artists. “A really good solo show, I think, allows you to see inside the performer’s soul, in a sense,” Davis says. “They are entirely vulnerable.”

Created by local performances artists

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Thomas Choinacky and Amanda Grove, the SoLow Festival allows artists the rare opportunity to conceive work with little to no financial risk. Meanwhile, with admission to most shows ranging from donations of $5-$15, audiences have more to gain than lose. “Since we have erased money and financial investment from this equation, we can focus on real artistic growth,” says Grove, 36. “I want artists to use the festival as

t h o m a s C h o i n a C ky

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They think they can dance: Thomas Choinacky (left) and Scott McPheeters in this year’s SoLow show, Off the Chain. a platform for taking risks and making mistakes.” There is no application fee or screening process, and 100 percent of revenue goes straight back into the artists’ pockets. Rather than paying to rent a space, the shows will be held at various nontraditional locations and venues around the city—from coffee shops and bars to community centers and a few of the performers’ own homes. For its show, 5th Floor, Bright Light Theater Company will even be taking audiences on a mysterious elevator ride inside the Foremost Building in South Philly. According to Grove, local businesses have been surprisingly supportive the last three years, opening not only their spaces to artists, but their services as well. “I was shocked when my neighborhood community center said, ‘Sure! Do you need chairs, too?’”

With almost twice as many performances, this year’s festival will be the largest one yet. The diverse lineup of shows include Meghann Williams’ Peep Show, a sound and sculpture experiment at the Viking Mill in Kensington, and Choinacky’s production, Off the Chain, in which he and dancer/choreographer Scott McPheeters examine dance from an entirely new perspective. Appropriately, all of this year’s SoLow performances have been given the theme “down and dirty,” a term used in the theater community to describe a low-budget show with not enough resources. “It’s ‘down and dirty theater’ when you have 20 people crammed into a tiny dressing room that is leaking from the ceiling,” Grove jokes. And while this would normally be perceived as a negative, the participating

artists embrace it. “This is the first show I’ve put zero dollars out for,” says Davis, adding that he also doesn’t expect to make much in return. Yet, having become recently unemployed, he’d probably never get to play a drunk Mexican lion if not for this festival. “I have to memorize my play and I don’t have anyone telling me to, so it’s important to stay motivated,” Davis says following his rehearsal. “That’s also the reason I like doing it, though—I have almost complete independence.” And despite the difficulty of playing both a man and a lion, he manages to pull off an incredibly entertaining performance. n June 14-June 24. Various times and locations. solowfestival.blogspot.com


Not Just a Pretty Face

Philadelphia Theatre Company’s Reasons to Be Pretty is a thoughtful play about being shallow. By J. Cooper Robb jrobb@philadelphiaweekly.com m a r k g a rv i n

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Trouble in paradise: Greg (Daniel Abeles, left) called his girlfriend Steph (Genevieve Perrier) ordinary, and it didn’t go over well. that Steph’s reaction is that of a vain, absurdly narcissistic woman, the play falls apart. Perrier’s performance, however, suggests that Steph’s response is perfectly normal, and we empathize with the insecurities that fuel her anger toward Greg. Both natural, charming actors, Perrier and Abeles complement each other nicely and their chemistry makes the post-break-up scenes between Greg and Steph especially poignant. In addition to the excellent cast, Mileaf receives strong contributions from the production’s team of designers. Particularly good is Vince Mountain’s scenic design, which puts the characters’ and their obsession with physical beauty in a noticeably bland and nondescript world

that includes an unappetizing food court at a mall and the dull, dreary factory where Greg, Kent and Cary work. The production is also aided by Janus Stefanowicz’s costumes that in many instances reveal as much about the characters sense of self as LaBute’s dialogue. A fascinating play that draws a clear distinction between petty machismo and real manhood, Mileaf’s commanding production of LaBute’s play proves once again that PTC is the place to go in Philadelphia for serious contemporary American drama. n Through June 24. $25-$59. Suzanne Roberts Theatre, Broad and Lombard sts. 215.985.0420. philadelphiatheatrecompany.org

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misogynist who is pretty much devoid of any redeeming qualities. Abeles’ Greg, conversely, is as likeable a fellow as we’ve encountered on any stage this season. The right-fielder on the factory baseball team, Greg is an average-looking guy who is unaccustomed to being the center of attention. Forced into an uncomfortable, no-win situation by Kent’s infidelity, Greg is Pretty ’s most intriguing character. His journey toward maturity is by far the most compelling element in LaBute’s shrewdly crafted play. Greg is the play’s central character, but the production’s success hinges on the actress portraying Steph. Greg’s comment about his girlfriend’s looks is the catalyst that sets the story in motion. If we perceive

P H I L A D E L P H I A W E E K LY JUNE 13 - JUNE 19, 2012

hiladelphia Theatre Company concludes its up-and-down season on a very high note with Neil LaBute’s Reasons to be Pretty. Following The Shape of Things and the incendiary Fat Pig, Pretty is the final play in LaBute’s loosely connected trilogy about America’s obsession with physical appearance. A deceptive work, Pretty initially appears to be little more than a profanelaced, darkly humorous battle of the sexes. There are verbal exchanges between the two male characters and separate conversations between the play’s two women that illustrate the stark differences between the way guys and girls talk about relationships. But under director Maria Mileaf’s careful guidance, the gender differences take a back seat to what LaBute has to say about responsibility, physical attractiveness, and the connection between selflessness and maturity. One of LaBute’ strongest attributes is that his plays are devoid of fussiness or unneeded exposition. In Pretty, he wastes no time getting to the point. The inciting incident happens early in the play when Greg (the sensational Daniel Abeles) makes an off-hand remark about his girlfriend Steph’s face to his best friend, Kent (Paul Felder). The remark (made in confidence) is not particularly hurtful or insulting—he basically describes her face as ordinary. However, when Steph (Genevieve Perrier) is informed of Greg’s comment by her best friend (and Kent’s wife), Carly (Elizabeth Stanley in a perceptive portrayal), she’s incensed. Before the incredulous—some might say clueless—Greg knows what hit him, Steph strikes back and, amidst a flurry of insults, abruptly ends their four-year relationship. A shocked Greg turns to Kent for support, but the infantile Kent thinks only of his own pleasure. Instead of consoling his friend, he incessantly brags to Greg about his own sexual prowess, crudely describing his sex life with both Carly and the new girl at work—while his Carly is pregnant with their first child. Few directors are as adept at casting as Mileaf, who again proves she has a keen eye for talent in selecting the four actors who give life to LaBute’s complex characters. Felder is not an actor of unlimited range, but the aggressive Kent suits his muscular acting style—complimented by his strapping physique—perfectly. Felder’s Kent is a typical bully, a selfish, egocentric

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Hot, Wet Art

Vox Populi’s exhibit of male erotica oozes with visual metaphors. By Katherine Rochester krochester@philadelphiaweekly.com

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ainting Bitten by a Man is a twoperson exhibition resolved to spread the cheeks of painting and take a dip. “I’ve been interested in ways that people can fuck with painting—literally,” explained Andrew Suggs, executive director of Vox Populi Gallery and curator of the current show, which pairs Brian Kokoska’s homoerotic paintings of leatherheads with mixed-media artist Jonathan VanDyke’s desire to squeeze the history of modern painting for its, shall we say, creative juices. If Painting Bitten by a Man is a show about dealing with the legacy of Modernism as queer painters, then it breaks down roughly as follows: Kokoska paints, and VanDyke takes a bite. In many ways, Kokoska uses traditional media (oil on canvas) to treat traditional subjects (eroticism and desire). But while the type of desire Kokoska depicts may have long scintillated beneath the hard-nosed varnish of many an Abstract Expressionist painting, his pictures bring queerness to the forefront. He paints closely cropped vignettes of men giving and taking pleasure from one another. Rainbow tongues explore gaping mouths, tentacular fingers penetrate red ears, and a leather boy cuddles his daddy in a moment of unexpected tenderness. On a conceptual level, much of VanDyke’s work is more fastidiously historical than Kokoska’s. He pecks away at painting, but he doesn’t always draw blood. VanDyke’s photographs, in which pages from art history textbooks have been overlaid with contemporary snapshots of guys fooling around, are often so thoroughly legible that the pairings fall flat. Example: Pollock’s Lavender Mist (1950) is paired with a naked frat boy pouring beer down his chest. Here, VanDyke compares the dripping paint in Pollock to the beer dripping off the bro’s genitals; it’s been said before—and better—by Warhol. While these drips may run dry, those in VanDyke’s sculptures and performance are thickly, deliciously and perversely wet. In a series of wall-mounted sculptures, colored paint drips seductively from holes and tubes onto the floor. It’s all sexual seepage—a pitiful and more powerful response to Pollock than a can of beer. Cordoned Area (2011-2012), a threehour performance for two dancers who are also lovers, set the tone for the rest of the exhibition at the opening reception. Starting out with clean costumes in a ring formed by a swathe of fabric on the floor,

j o n at h a n Va n Dy k e

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Sexual seepage: Mixed-media artist Jonathan VanDyke’s photographs depict snapshots of guys fooling around over pages from art-history textbooks. dancers David Rafael Botana and Bradley Teal Ellis duked out a powerfully improvised match. Throughout the performance, they added paint to their bodies, the cumulative traces of which remain visible on the walls, pillars and floor of the gallery. Unfortunately, if you missed the opening night performance, you’re left trying to recreate its dynamism from the stain left in its wake. Similarly, unless you visit the exhibition on Saturdays, you won’t see Van Dyke’s dripping sculptures in action (they couldn’t afford paint for the other days). In both cases, the residue of dried

paint is much less interesting than the gunky, messy rumble responsible for its secretion. Although Suggs should be commended for coaxing painting off the wall, the result that visitors will see on most days of the week is more timid than the raunchy possibilities promised by the press release: to queer paint’s “historical resonance and contemporary application.” Nevertheless, there are moments of provocation that spark regardless of performative and kinetic constraints. A filmic, Dutch-angle shot of hands pleasuring a dripping asshole in Kokoska’s Finger Linger (2011) stands as one. Another is

VanDyke’s Everyone I Ever Loved (2008), a video installed behind a wall and accessible only through a peephole. The hourlong loop shows a stationary man staring at a painting with his back to the viewer. In the absence of any other action, the mind begins to wander; rather than tacking a conceptual course through the video, the accumulated kinkiness of the rest of the show lures you down a less traveled and more titillating path: There’s a hole in the wall. What will you do with it? n Through July 1. Vox Populi Gallery, 319 N. 11th St. voxpopuligallery.org


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Rock and a Hard Place

Six Pack Six Promising Directorial Debuts of Questionable Filmmakers

The big-screen adaptation of Rock of Ages fails to impress. By Sean Burns sburns@philadelphiaweekly.com

By Matt Prigge mprigge@philadelphiaweekly.com The Seventh Victim (1943): Late in his career, Mark Robson made the camp classic Valley of the Dolls and Earthquake, arguably the nadir of ’70s disaster movies. Few would immediately ID him as the same filmmaker who made this goth-friendly mood piece about a coven of Greenwich Satanists. Robson cut his teeth first as an assistant editor for Orson Welles, then for the almost-asbrilliant, no-budget RKO producer Val Lewton, helming not only Victim but also the horrors The Ghost Ship, Isle of the Dead and more. Robson wandered far from his origins, and although he was twice nominated for directing Oscars, one of them was for Peyton Place. Messiah of Evil (1973): Writer-director Willard Huyck hasn’t worked much since Howard the Duck, which is understandable. (He also made the notoriously ramshackle early Eddie Murphy-Dudley Moore bomb Best Defense.) But this George Lucas pal—who also co-wrote American Graffiti—made, along with wife Gloria Katz, a dreamlike debut, one of the few horror films to feel faithfully H.P. Lovecraftian (and without actually adapting him). The Duellists (1977): Yes, Ridley Scott made Alien and Blade Runner. He also made 1492, A Good Year and Robin Hood, possibly the most boring movie of all time. In short, he’s sketchy, even within his decent films. But he kicked off his career with great confidence, adapting a Joseph Conrad short into a dense and gorgeous period thriller that even overcame the bizarre casting of broadaccented Yanks Keith Carradine and Harvey Keitel among a cast of Brits. Roger & Me (1989): Or maybe Michael Moore simply didn’t seem obnoxious and unfunny the first time.

P H I L A D E L P H I A W E E K LY JUNE 13 - JUNE 19, 2012

Tremors (1990): With a neo-monster movie perfectly calibrated between funny and terrifying, Ron Underwood seemed to have laid claim to resourceful modern genre entertainments. But for some reason he then made corn: City Slickers and Heart and Souls. And, most sadly, The Adventures of Pluto Nash. Speed (1994): Jan de Bont was a first-rate cinematographer who palled around with Paul Verhoeven and turned Die Hard into one of the greatest cinemascope films ever made. Unfortunately, he went Icarus: Following a fleet directing debut, he proceeded directly to Twister, Speed 2, The Haunting and the second Tomb Raider. He hasn’t worked since 2003. Good work, hubris. n Speed

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know that in the history of cinema there have probably been worse movies than Rock of Ages. I’m just having a hard time trying to think of one right now. Pulverizing, excruciating, incompetent—the pejoratives finally fail me. An hour into this thing, I turned to a colleague and groaned aloud: “I want to murder myself.” A bit of backstory: Rock of Ages is based on the smash Broadway hit, which used cheeseball 1980’s hairband anthems as the template for yet another jukebox musical. It’s the kind of glossy, corporate turd that you can imagine a shit-ton of Midwestern tourists eating up and then binging on chicken wings at a Times Square chain restaurant as soon as the show is over. Everything here has been so sanitized for mass consumption, Director Adam Shankman should keep his ServSave Certificate next to his DGA card. Julianne Hough, the Dancing with the Stars vet who played the 35-yearold teenager in the recent Footloose remake stars as just a small-town girl, living in a lonely world. She took the midnight train (actually it was a bus) from podunk nowhere, but at least her fellow passengers were kind enough to launch into an awful rendition of Night Ranger’s “Sister Christian,” just so we all know how pure she is. She lands a job at the Bourbon Room, one of those crazy rock ’n’ roll clubs run by a startlingly miscast Alec Baldwin, who keeps Russell Brand around as his comic-relief lackey. I daresay Baldwin has never seemed so adrift, wearing a terrible wig and vaguely humoring the awful material. He’s the consummate urbane New Yorker out of his league as a sleazebag Sunset Strip loser. Looking like he’s suffering from irritable bowel syndrome in cheetah-print shirts, Baldwin suffers mightily through the movie’s barrage of bad hair days, eventually making out with Russell Brand in a number that might as well be called: “Gays, Aren’t They Hilarious?” The entire future of the Bourbon Room depends on the whims of one Stacee Jaxx, a rock ’n’ roll icon played with no shortage of commitment by Tom Cruise. The hardest-working man in show business, Cruise has recently demonstrated that he will

Out of tune: Alec Baldwin (left) has never seemed so adrift. Tom Cruise is exhausting to watch.

dangle his 50-year-old self off giant skyscrapers just to amuse audiences, but he brings that same relentless go-for-broke energy to Stacee, and I must repeat myself after what I said during Tropic Thunder: He’s a relentless performer, but there’s nothing more painful than watching Cruise try to be funny. His laser-focused, tireless work ethic is like Kryptonite for comedy. He’s just exhausting to watch. So we have the blah-blah-blah plot of Julianne Hough meeting the charisma-deficient Diego Boneta, and they both look like they’re about to fall in love amid all the nonsense and sing-alongs, and then the movie does something seriously sadistic. I thought Rock of Ages was finally over, but I’d only seen the first act of a Broadway show. An hour into this thing, the movie resets itself and starts over again from scratch. I feel like I watched it twice. The gob-smacking 123-minute running time finds room for Catherine Zeta-Jones as an uptight, Tipper Gore wannabe—the crusading wife of a local politico (Bryan Cranston) who’s too busy getting handcuffed with rosary beads and spanked with votive candles by naughty nuns to pay much attention to her anti-rock plight. Where did this subplot come from, and what kind of director gets a bad performance out of Bryan Cranston? Shankman did a fairly decent job helming the musical adaptation of Hairspray, but he’s at a loss with this

Rock of Ages Grade: F Director: Adam Shankman Starring: Julianne Hough, Diego Boneta and Tom Cruise

shoddy material. The jukebox mashups of cruddy ’80s songs are set on sorry soundstages without a whit of light or transcendence, and the entire film is bathed in the same ugly neon as Joel Schumacher’s Batman sequels. An early scene with Zeta-Jones singing Pat Benetar in a church is granted fewer than six extras, and the movie’s lazy cheap-o approach becomes inadvertently hilarious. Our bland lead, Diego Boneta, hangs out at Tower Records and makes a few speeches about how rock ’n’ roll is salvation, but the ersatz re-arranged Broadway showtune versions of these songs make the opposite of an argument for the music. It doesn’t help that they’re all AutoTuned to death and performed by a cast that frankly can’t sing their way out of a paper bag. It says something about Rock of Ages that when Quiet Riot’s “Cum on Feel the Noize” plays over the closing credits, the audience breathes a sigh of relief. At last, this is real rock ’n’ roll? And I’ll meet you at Applebee’s for some wings after the movie. n


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Safety Not Guaranteed

While always respected and collected, German visual artist Gerhard Richter only achieved superstar status midway through the previous decade. Perhaps Corinna Belz’s observant doc Gerhard Richter Painting wouldn’t exist without that stature bump, but in many ways it tries to act like that never happened—as though he wasn’t the planet’s current highest-paid artist. That’s not hard: Richter is no vacuous Thomas Kinkade populist. When Belz catches up with him, in the lead-up to an exhibition at the Tate Modern last year, he’s doting on massive canvases of splattered colors. “Painting is another form of thinking,” he can be heard proclaiming in a film taken from his younger days. “I don’t like the ones I understand.” The Richter we get in Painting, now 80, is far cagier, less quotable, but more approachable and self-effacing. When asked how fame has affected his methods, he says, with a chuckle, that it’s left less time for work. Much of Belz’s film takes him away from fawning journos, historians and collectors, capturing him as he hides away in his studio, alone— save the director and her pesky camera operators. The best parts of Painting observe him doing just that: He’s more manual laborer than moneyed bon vivant as he drags

I think it’s the music that bugs me most in these pictures. Why must almost every Sundance hit be accompanied by a noodling acoustic guitar drone that underlines just how lighter-than-air and quirky every goddamn scene is? Safety Not Guaranteed probably isn’t a terrible movie. For starters, it boasts a fine lead performance from Aubrey Plaza, who, week in and week out on NBC’s Parks And Recreation, makes eye-rolling disdain into something weirdly sexy. Here, she plays a put-upon intern at a trendy magazine, stuck doing all the work for her layabout boss while writing a feature about a local yokel who placed a classified ad seeking a partner for his time-travel adventures. No, it doesn’t seem like much of a story. And print media budgets being what they are, it’s hard to grasp the shocking allocation of resources devoted to following around a mentally ill chain-store clerk who practices kung-fu and claims to know hidden secrets of the universe. Played by producer Mark Duplass—who has been showing up in entirely too many movies lately—he’s got an awful haircut and a denim jacket, rambling at great length to anyone who will listen about the space-time continuum.

Grade: CReview by Sean Burns

Grade: B Review by Matt Prigge

a pole-length brush-of-sorts across a towering canvas, one color smearing into another, the work dramatically changing with each tortoise-slow, exhausting stroke. More interesting still is when the documentary subject becomes self-aware. Richter seems tolerant, but vaguely perturbed by the crew. About halfway through, Richter turns to the camera and, as gently as possible, announces that he no longer feels comfortable being filmed while he works. (Although they can still follow him doing other, less mesmerizing activities.) It’s a moment that, come to think of it, should be in more documentaries. Being constantly filmed is grossly invasive, forcing everyday people into a form of selfconscious performance. Spending quality time with the world’s richest artist is all well and good, but Gerard Richter Painting is more valuable for being a documentary where the subject, however mildly, politely rebels. n

P H I L A D E L P H I A W E E K LY JUNE 13 - JUNE 19, 2012

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As she does every week on Parks And Rec, Plaza melts adorably in the face of such goofball charm. She thaws better than pretty much any actress working today. But like most Duplass Bros. productions, this one feels awfully thin. These brothers seem to specialize in half-written movies with garbage cinematography, and I would happily donate $10 to buy them a fucking tripod. There’s a promising subplot with Plaza’s callow boss (a very funny Jake M. Johnson) hooking up with his old high school girlfriend thanks to Facebook, and only slowly discovering what odd, divergent paths life can take us all. But this, like everything else in Safety Not Guaranteed seems to have been abandoned at the idea stage, dropped like a hot potato just when it starts to get interesting. Overlong at more than 80 minutes, the movie slathers on musical montages to stall for time, and then that ending. Ouch. n

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Nude Awakening For Nude Beach, it’s all about straight-up rock music. By Tony Rettman feedback@philadelphiaweekly.com

N

ude Beach are something of an anomaly in Brooklyn, N.Y.’s music scene. Why? Well, they’re just three normal dudes in normal clothes who play straightforward guitar-based rock music. No funny haircuts. No flavor-of-the-month posturing. No abstract, electronic beeps or farts anywhere in their music. Just rockin’ tunes. Nothing more and nothing less. Quite a concept, don’t you think? Their recent self-released LP—appropriately titled Nude Beach II—is packed with chiming guitars and heart-on-sleeve lyrics that reference early Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, making it the first good-vibe platter of the BBQ season. Somewhere inbetween the headaches of releasing their own album, going on tour with that much-loved Brooklyn-based band the Men, and doing a damn fine live session on the prestigious WFMU radio station in Jersey City, Nude Beach were kind enough to answer some of our questions. What swell guys!

You just released your second LP on your own after dealing with another label for the first one. Why was that? We shopped the record around a bunch and no one really went for it. We realized that a lot of labels are caught up in crazy deadlines and schedules. Basically, they don’t have time to consider new bands much. We always talked about putting our own records out and saved up some money. Then the Men asked us to do some dates with them and we figured we should have the LP for those shows. It’s been a great experiment. We got the record to a lot of awesome people. We’re pretty much [sold] out of it!

What do you most look forward to when coming into Philly?

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Philly is cool. We’ve played here a couple times. Maybe some good Vietnamese food? Good beer? We have some friends out here who moved recently from New York. We like playing with Bandname; they’ve been our buddies for quite a while.

Album reviews in 30 seconds or less By Bill Chenevert

Japandroids

Celebration Rock (Polyvinyl) Sounds Like: Their debut, PostNothing, was just as awesome as this one. They’re both loud and incredible fun. Free Association: It’s a little dumbeddown but even more fist-pumping than before. For Fans Of: No Age x Sonic Youth, harder Strokes + Cheap Trick, angry anthems.

Curren$y

The Stoned Immaculate (Warner Brothers) Sounds Like: The Louisiana-bred stoner, who’s been working the underground through multiple labels and mentorship from Master P and Lil’ Wayne, outshines them both. Free Association: Lazy ’70s-flavored beats makes raps about THINGS sound awesome. For Fans Of: Wiz Khalifa + Big K.R.I.T., Kid Cudi x Wale, spliffs and Impalas

Hot Chip

In Our Heads (Domino)

Nude Beach: Don’t worry, they’re fully clothed.

I think I might touch on this whenever I talk to you guys, but where does Nude Beach—a band free of hairdos and vintage synthesizers—find themselves on the trendy Brooklyn and New York scene? There’s a lot of cool stuff going on in New York but also a lot of not-so-cool stuff. It’s a big city, ya know? Hardcore shows have gotten really violent. Punks seem bored when we play. It’s hard being a band that fits in socially but not musically. We do think ‘indie rock’ is a boring thing, though, and want to try to avoid getting too lumped in with any of that. However, in a way it does feel like things in New York are changing and it’s exciting to think about what the music scene might be like in a couple years. n Nude Beach perform Tues., June 19, 8pm. $12. With Reigning Sound. Kung Fu Necktie, 1248 N. Front St. 215.291.4919. r5productions.com

Critic’s Pick These United States Given how much time Jesse Elliott, frontman of alt-country group These United States, spends on the road, it’s remarkable he’s also able to remain such a prolific songwriter. The band has released five albums in the past four years, the latest of which is a self-titled LP that was released last Tuesday. While TUS’ music has always retained Elliott’s penchant for narratives and storytelling, it has evolved from the euphoric honky-tonk and earnest Americana found on the band’s earlier albums to a mature, alt-country version of the Counting Crows, as exemplified on 2010’s What Lasts. With their eponymous album, the band not only retains plenty of honky-tonk and American balladry, but incorporates hints of ’60s garage and classic rock. (Katherine Silkaitis)

Thurs., June 14, 9pm. $10. With Juston Stens and the Get Real Gang. Johnny Brenda’s, 1201 N. Frankford Ave. 215.739.9684. johnnybrendas.com

Sounds Like: The fifth LP from the British geniuses of dance is as sick as ever, this time taking their dancefloor obsessions and electronic confections to freakier places. Free Association: Forget their previous moments of emotional thoughtfulness, and DANCE. For Fans Of: The Rapture/Out Hud x LCD Soundsystem + Brian Eno, sweaty ecstasy.

The Mynabirds Generals (Saddle Creek)

Sounds Like: Laura Burhenn’s got a seriously powerful voice, and with her backing band, her second effort is a well-produced, heady mix of retro soul and Americana. Free Association: This one’s heavier and louder than her debut, and it sounds great. For Fans Of: Orenda Fink x Neil Young, Phantogram + Neko Case, powerful women.

Liars WIXIW (Mute)

Sounds Like: A surprising sixth LP from the L.A.-conceived noise rockers is heavily dipped in electronics and glitchy synthetic sounds; much lighter on the chaos and grit. Free Association: It’s true, it’s a bit of an In Rainbows sound for them, and therefore awesome. For Fans Of: Battles + the Fall, Gang of Four x hetero Depeche Mode, evolution.

Cruiser

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42

Sounds Like: Andy States is a local man who’s teamed up with a drummer and Youth Lagoon’s producer for lighthearted summery guitar rock. Free Association: A local surprise— the indie heads are going to listen and be floored. For Fans Of: Cults x DOM + Beach House, Reading Rainbow + Best Coast, summer.


Adult

By Dan Savage mail@philadelphiaweekly.com I’m a 28-year-old guy who was broken up with via text by a girl I had been dating for two months. She is dealing with the loss of a family member and some other personal issues, and she sent me this message while out of state for a week or so. Two months is a short time, I realize, and we never discussed the nature of our arrangement. But we spent a few nights a week together and agreed that we had something special. We had a chemistry that I haven’t experienced in my last few relationships. How much respect do you maintain/lose based on something like this? Would you characterize this short-term-dating text-message dumping as spineless, flaky, a reasonable reaction to the issues she’s facing, or what? What are the standards of a classy exit in the digital age? Scumbag Move, Savage?

I am a 16-year-old straight male—I think. I know I’m 16 years old and I know I’m male. But I’m not totally sure about the sexuality. I’m into chicks. There’s nothing I love more than vagina. I have a girlfriend, and she’s amazing. But recently, a gay friend told me he has a crush on me and has for a long time. He asked me to be his “friend with benefits.” Plain and simple: He offered to give me head. I still haven’t texted him back. I’m not totally against the idea. I’ve never thought about having sex with a dude, but I guess you could say I’m an open-minded person. So my question, Dan, is if I should become FWB with my friend. One of my main concerns is the fact that I’m in a relationship. So, yeah, I just don’t know. What Should I Do?

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Ask your girlfriend if she’d be OK with you getting head from your gay friend. If that’s not a question you can bring yourself to ask your girlfriend, WSID, then don’t even think about becoming FWB with your gay friend. As for your sexuality … If there’s nothing you love more than vagina— really? Not your mom? Not even oxygen?—then you’re definitely not gay. You could be bisexual, I suppose, or heteroflexible. But I’m thinkin’ what you are is 16 years old and horny as shit. If a talking skunk with a French accent walked into your room and offered you a blowjob, you’d probably say yes. Letting that skunk blow you wouldn’t be proof that you’re a zoophile—or a Francophile— just proof that you’re so horny you decided to shoot (into a skunk’s mouth) first and ask questions (“I let a skunk blow me—WTF?”) later. A sex expert I quoted in a recent column—he was responding to a question from a straight guy who wanted other men to bust his balls— observed that a person can have a kink that overrides his “usual erotic ‘target interest,’ i.e., women.” You’re not kinky, WSID, just horny. But the combination of intense adolescent horniness and a rare blowjob opportunity have overridden your usual erotic target interest, i.e., women. I’m not saying you shouldn’t do this. Gay/ straight FWB arrangements can work. But you shouldn’t do this if it means deceiving your girlfriend. If you want to take your friend up on his offer, WSID, clear it with your girlfriend first or wait until you’re single. And if you’re so tempted to do this that you’re considering doing it behind your girlfriend’s back, WSID, that’s a pretty good indication that you’ll be single soon.

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Two years ago, I fell in love with a man. (I’m a bisexual woman.) A friend decided to take that as her cue to declare her love for me. I turned her down. This same conversation had to happen repeatedly. A few weeks ago, she was having a party at her house. She got sloppy drunk and said that if she only had a penis, I’d be with her. She became touchy-feely and aggressive.

This is why they pay me the big bucks: Stop hanging out with that bitch, BBC, because that bitch—as you’re well aware—is fucking crazy. You’re welcome.

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When I listen to someone complaining about how he was dumped, SMS, what I often hear is someone complaining that he was dumped. Finding fault with how—reading some previously undetected character flaw into the method your ex employed to dump you—is often the ego acting in its own self-defense. You’re hurt she hurt you, and you’ve latched on to the dumpedby-text issue so you can tell yourself that you were mistaken about her, that you didn’t have chemistry, that there really wasn’t something special here. Nope, she’s a scumbag. Dumpingby-text proves it. Two quick things: Getting dumped in person sucks, getting dumped over the phone sucks, getting dumped through snail mail sucks, getting dumped via text sucks. Getting dumped sucks. It would’ve hurt just as much if she had dumped you via Goodyear blimp or if she had shown up in person to tell you herself. And while dumpingvia-text was viewed as a cold move 10 or 15 years ago when texting technology was new and texts were uniformly brief and inscrutable, these days, people do most of their communicating via text. So old notions about text-message dumpings— they’re not classy!—don’t apply these days. A longish, thoughtful, and well-written text message is now a legit way to dump someone. Particularly someone you’ve been dating for only two months. Let’s say your girlfriend had waited until she was back in town so she could dump you faceto-face, SMS. What if you had met someone you liked and passed on an offer to hang out and/or hook up in the days, weeks or months between the time your girlfriend made up her mind to dump you and her arrival back in town? Then you would be complaining about how you passed on a date with a woman who—hey, you never know— could’ve been your soul mate while your ex was stringing you along. Finally, SMS, the best course of action when you’ve been dumped by someone you really liked—someone you would still be dating if it were up to you—is to accept the bad news with as much grace as you can muster. The world is full of couples that got back together after a breakup, and your odds of being in one of those couples shrink if you act like an asshole about being dumped (which it doesn’t sound like you’re doing) or if you convince yourself your ex is an asshole for dumping you (which it sounds like you’re doing). Good luck.

At one point, she told a man there that they needed to get me drunker so that I’d have sex with her. When I confronted her later, she said that her drinking was because I had been too harsh when I turned her down. Then she said that I’m constantly cruel to her and that’s why she drinks. When I suggested ending our friendship if I’m so cruel, she got apologetic and came up with all sorts of communication strategies to try to preserve our friendship. If I am being abusive—or even if I’m not—what am I supposed to do? Bitches Be Crazy

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HAPPINESS

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W W W. P H I L A D E L P H I AW E E K LY. C O M

adoption A D O PT I O N : A C H I L D L ESS, F I N A N C I A L LY S E C U R E C O U P L E (37&42) seek to adopt. Together 18 years. Flexible work schedules. Expenses paid. Call Rich & Tim 1800-494-4533.

clEaning sERvicEs

Cleaning FanatiC Covering South Philadelphia & Center City

PREGNANT? CONSIDERING ADOPTION? Talk with caring agency specializing in matching Birthmothers with Families nationwide LIVING EXPENSES PAID. Call 24/7 Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions 866-413-6293.

EntERtainMEnt THE MAGIC OF GEORGE GALLOFAMILY ENTERTAINER FOR ALL EVENTS. BIRTHDAYS, FIRST HOLY COMMUNION, FUNDRAISERS, SCHOOL FUNCTIONS. www.georgegallomagic.com 610-446-0464. FULLY INSURED.

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*Free estimates

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SOCIETY HILL Vintage Flea Market

This Sat, June 16th (Rain Date- Sat 6/23)

Along Pine & Lombard from 3rd to 5th Sts. 9am till 5pm But Early Birds Are Welcome! “Free Parking In The Lot On The 300 Block of Lombard Street”

Proceeds Benefit Old Pine & St. Peter’s Church

More info: 215-625-FLEA (3532) For A List Of Our City Flea Markets Log Onto www.PhilaFleaMarkets.org MassagE

ElEctRical contRacting

Luxury once experienced becomes a necessity!

BARRY FISHER

russian

Therapeutic/ Non Sexual

P H I L A D E L P H I A W E E K LY JUNE 13 - JUNE 19, 2012

maria 215.510.6179 (Located near I 476/PA Turnpike)

BODY WORK & MASSAGE THERAPY (Therapeutic), $45 for 1HR. 1218 CHESTNUT, 215-873-4835

MiscEllanEous sERvicEs AIRLINE CAREERS begin here Become an Aviation Maintenance Tech. FAA approved training. Financial aid if qualified-Housing available. Job placement assistance. CALL Aviation Institute of Maintenance 888-834-9715 B U N D L E A N D S AV E O N YO U R CABLE, INTERNET PHONE AND MORE. High Speed Internet starting at less than $20/mo. CALL NOW 1-800-314-9361

wantEd to buy I BUY VINTAGE CLOTHING, JEWELRY, WATCHES, CIGARETTE LIGHTERS, ETC. JEWELRY CAN BE BROKEN, WATCHES DO NOT HAVE TO RUN. Call 267-974-8801.

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WANTED “UNEXPIRED” DIABETIC TEST STRIPS: Up to $26.00/Box. PRE-PAID SHIPPING LABELS. Hablamo Espanol. 1-800-266-0702 www. selldiabeticstrips.com

INSTALLATION ✧ REFINISHING REPAIRS ✧ STAINING ✧ SANDING

All Jobs Best Quality Free Estimates • Insured • Low Rates Please Call Andy

215-254-8852

LICENSED ELECTRICIAN Over 42yrs experience Low prices, Fast Service 100-amp Circuit breakers $65+ Ceiling Fans $25+ • Outlets $6+ AC/WD lines $10+ Lic/Ins * FHA/VA Cert $20 off $100+ work $20 off $100+ work $40 off $250+ work

$40 off $250+ work

215-927-0234 G & G ELECTRIC RESIDENTIAL & COMMERCIAL SERVICE UPDATES. SECURITY LIGHTING, LANDSCAPE LIGHTING, HOME INSPECTIONS. LIC. & INSURED. LIC.#16316. NO JOB TOO SMALL. CALL 215-796-1123.

Fully Insured Free Estimates

Commercial & Residential

Phong’s Floor Sanding

OLD FLOORS MADE LIKE NEW

Cell 215-906-8840 856-962-9576

New Hardwood Installations Sanding • Refinishing • Staining

Moving & Hauling

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RooFing

V.N.T. Hardwood Floor Services

lynn 215-554-9294

FlEa MaRkEts

sports massage Deep, Intense, Dynamic Body Work Deep Muscle Hot Stones

FlooR REFinisHing

HHHHH fax: 215-468-8485 Tony’s CLEAN-OUT TONYCLEANOUTS@AOL.COM FAX 215-334-6666

bEST oF phIlly

Tony’s

SPECIALIZING IN DEMOLITION & CLEANOUT CLEAN-OUT Lic #33659 COMMERCIAL AND RESIDENTIAL WE WILL BEAT ANY& PRICE Specializing in cleanout demolition • commercial ATTICS / BASEMENTS ESTATES FREE ESTIMATES and/ reSidential • YARD / WHOLE HOUSE GUTS / 24-HR-7 DAY Will beat any price • We OIL TANKS / FIRE CLEANOUTS • DEMOLITION DEBRIS / SCRAP METAL / WATER DAMAGE WHole HouSe gutS • baSement cleanout NO JOB IS TOO BIG OR TOO SMALL eStateS • demolition 267-972-3616 FREEatticS • Yard LIC. & ESTIMATES FLEXIBILITY IN A SHORT TIMEcleanoutS FRAME INSURED debriS • oil tankS • fire IS THE KEY TO OUR SUCCESS

Water damage • traSH removal Hauling • Scrap metal

OpEN 7 dAys A wEEk • sENiOr disC. NO jOb TOO big Or TOO smALL

267-972-3616

flexibility in a short time frame is the key to our success tOny’S the name you can trust INSURED

PhiliP and Myk’s Removal SeRviceS

Free estimates!

No Job Too big or Small

Trash Removal Basement Cleanouts Debris Removal Estates • Demolition

Scrap Metal Whole House Guts Power Washing Lic. & Insured Hauling

215-500-3903 Wayne’s World A BETTER WAY TO MOVE

Piano Specialist! Can

Great Rates! Last Minute Jobs AlWAYs AVAilABlE

Do CReW! 20th Year in The Business

can do crew!

24 Hr. 215-669-3415

STOP

lEgal noticEs

auto FoR salE

PURSUANT to Sec. 128.85 of the Pe n n sy l va n i a D e p a r t m e n t of Agriculture Title 7 regulations GROWMARK FS, LLC. hereby gives notice of ground application of “Restricted Use Pesticides” for the protection of agricultural crops in municipalities in Pennsylvania during the next 45 days. Residents of co n t i g u o u s p ro p e r ty to o u r application sites should contact yo u r l o c a l G ROW M A R K , F S, L LC facility for additional information. Concerned Citizens should contact: M i c h a e l L ay to n , M G R. Sa fety & Environment, mlayton@growmarkfs. com GROWMARK FS, LLC. 308 N.E. Front Street, Milford, DE 19963. Call 302-422-3002

HIGHEST PRICES PAID FOR JUNK OR RUNNING CARS, TRUCKS, AND VANS. CALL 215-365-3636.

Paying

Electric Bills! Switch and Save

NOW With

AMBIT ENERGY 877-761-0231 936-205-5955

www.parep.joinambit.com PW Classifieds

Visa/MC/aMEX

www.southphillyroofing.com HElp wantEd

Michael Fortuna

C a m pa i g n J o b s !

4th Generation Roofing Contractor/Since 1934 tunaroof1@comcast.net

fight Right wing

residential • commercial • green Products 215-805-0556 Cell 800-985-5628 Office 856-582-6390 Fax

PO bOx 18084 Philadelphia,PA 19147 painting

PHILIP and MYK’S PAINTING SERVICES

window tREatMEnt

PUBLISHING

For all Your painting needs... INTERIOR & EXTERIOR

Brush-Roller Spray Painting Custom Textures Plaster & Drywall Repair Power wash

215-500-3903 FREE ESTIMATES • LIC. & INS.

extremism

HAPPY ● SPR ● SWR ● CW WINDOWS ● PW ● ACW ● CG

REVIEW

Shutters, 2-Inch Wood, AD NAME: Tony’sShades, Cleanouts Pleated Shades,Roman SIZE: 2x2 Mini-Blinds, Drapes,Verticals, Discount Price With Installation DATE: 2-24-05

INITIALS: Call Rev #1: Eileen Rev #2: Rev #3:

Bill

215-465-7525

SALES REP:

DAN 129

Work With Grassroots CampaiGns stand up for equality! $1,240-$2,040 / Month Full tiMe & CaReeR Positions

This slug must appear in the upper CHECKClassifieds FOR PW left corner of each page. APPROVAL

window tREatMEnt

Call alex

215.564.0361 Precious Babies

DRAPES • VALANCES • SHADES WOOD BLINDS • ANY WINDOW TREATMENT FACTORY DIRECT • FREE ESTIMATE & INSTALLATION MARGIE 215.592.8644 Serving the Community for Over 25 years

CHILDCARE

Daycare Director & Teachers

Email: Kencurrypb@gmail.com

North & West Phila. Areas Directors: requires 3-5 years Supervisory experience & Associate’s Degree with 30 credits in Early Childhood Education. Teachers: Requires 2 Years Experience Writing Lesson Plans and Teaching Also Needed. AA in ECE or CDA Preferred. Competitive Salary & Paid Vacation

Tel:215 694-0916 Fax: 215 228-9111

MOVING AND CLEANOUTS

MiscEllanEous sERvicEs

HIGH

M. Fortuna rooFing inc

pRayERs DO YOU DESIRE PRAYER or want to know about Love or Money? Call Rhonda at 215-222-1473, during mornings.

autos wantEd CASH FOR CARS: ANY CAR/TRUCK. R U N N I N G o r N OT ! To p D o l l a r Paid. We Come To You! Call For Instant Offer: 1-888-420-3808 www. cash4car.com

PW Classifieds PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM

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HElp wantEd

CAMPAIGN JOBS FOR CLEAN AIR! • Earn $9-$11/Hour Work on behalf of PennEnvironment to Support the EPA’s New Clean Air Rules

• Fight Global Warming • Save Lives • Make a Difference Full-timE / part-timE / CarEEr

Call Eric at 215-240-7744 Or apply at: grassrootsvoter.org/philly $$$ AVON Earn up to 50%. selling Avon. Call Patty 267-312-5290. ISR. $$$HELP WANTED$$$ Extra Income! Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience Necessary! Call our Live Operators Now! 1-800-405-7619 EXT 2450 http://www.easyworkgreatpay.com

$$$HELP WANTED$$$ Extra Income! Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience Necessary! Call our Live Operators Now! 1-800-405-7619 EXT 2450 http://www.easyworkgreatpay.com

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Administrative Assistant needed fo r cc rea l esta te office. M u st be tech savvy, have good communication skills, be organized, professional with a strong work ethic and able to multi task. Full time post with company benefits. Real Estate exp highly preferred. Fax resume and salary requirements to 215-574-1539

ADVERTISING & MARKETING SALES INTERN: We’re seeking energetic, self-motivated and out-going individuals to help our Sales and Marketing Depts. Candidate must be able to work at least 15 hours a week; multi-task; work well with others; have good verbal and communication skills; be proficient with Microsoft Word & Excel; also be proficient in Web & Social media applications. Photoshop and/or indesign & social n etwo r k m a r ket in g ex p e r ie n ce a plus. Please send Resume to astoller@philadelphiaweekly.com NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE

AVERITT, is Looking for CDL-A DRIVERS! Great, Low-cost Benefits Package and Weekly Hometime. 4 Months T/T Experience Required. Apply Now! 888-362-8608 Visit AVERITTcareers.com Equal Opportunity Employer

BECOME A MEMBER OF THE OUR SALES TEAM! PW-Philadelphia Weekly is seeking energetic, selfmotivated individuals to join our Advertising Department as an outside Account Executive. We offer a competitive base salary, commission, bonuses and an excellent benefits package. Candidate must be able to multi-task, have excellent verbal and communication skills and be proficient with Microsoft Word and Excel. Main job responsibilities are prospecting, cold calling and closing new business. 3 plus years sales experience in a related field required. Email your resume to AStoller@ PhiladelphiaWeekly.com

Biology - Research Associate (Phila. PA) Conduct ecological research on wildlife animals. Coord extended field trips to remote tropical envrmts. Ph.D. in Bio Sci. Knowl of sea turtle biology, primate & amphibian ecology & conservation reqd. Travel reqd. Mail CV to G. Hearn, Drexel University, 3245 Chestnut St., PISB #320, Phila., PA 19104.


Since 1858

Reliable. Relief.

Sold in select

Eczema, Pain, Boils, Acne, Razor Bumps

and over 200 retail stores

and so much more...

gordshells.com 1.855.567.4DRG (4374)

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helP wanted BRIDAL SEAMSTRESS Experienced for Main Line Bridal Shop. Call: 610-642-3888 COMPANY DRIVERS: $2500 SignOn Bonus! Super Service is hiring so l o a n d tea m d r i ve rs. G rea t Benefits Package. CDL-A required. Students welcome. Call 888-4419358 or apply online at www. superservicellc.com COPY OPERATOR Busy, Fast pased CC company looking for 2nd shift people to operate photocopiers, scanning, bindery tasks and other duties. Must be friendly, self motivated & energetic. Salary+ Benefits. 215-5577466, mark@econant.com

educational services

for yourself!

EQUAL HOUSING OPPORTUNITY

EARN COLLEGE DEGREE ONLINE *Medical, *Business, *Criminal Justice. Job placement assistance. Computer available. Financial Aid if qualified. SCHEV Certified. Call 888-220-3984. www.CenturaOnline.com

miscellaneous SAWMILLS from only $3,997.00MAKE/ SAVE MONEY with your own bandmill- Cut lumber any dimension. In stock ready to ship. FREE Info/ DVD: www.NorwoodSawmills.com 1-800-578-1363 Ext. 300N

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FOR SALE Brand New Townhomes in East Falls!

*Additional academy training may be required for law enforcement positions. AMAZING OPPORTUNITY! Start training today for a new career as a

PHARMACY TECHNICIAN! CAll NOw! 800.761.7504

Plug in. Find us on Facebook

Kaplan Career Institute Broomall Campus 1991 Sproul Road, Suite 42, Broomall, PA 19008 Franklin Mills Campus 177 Franklin Mills Blvd., Philadelphia, PA 19154 Information about programs at www.go.kcibroomall.com or www.go.kcifranklinmills.com

Call 215-563-1234 Monday through Friday, 8:30AM - 5PM Submit ads online at philadelphiaweekly.com Fax anytime at 215-563.6799

DEaDlinEs Display ads: Fridays at 5PM Line ads: Monday 5PM

real estate for sale

real estate for sale

INVESTORS DELIGHT Needs TLC, Tree lined Street, close to Italian Market/South St. $124,900/OBO. Call 856-330-4486.

WATERFRONT PROPERTY SALE, N Y: 8 a c res wa te r f ro n t h o m e $ 9 9,9 0 0 . 5 a c re s We s t B a s s P o n d $ 1 9,9 0 0 . 5 a c r e s D e e r Creek Forest $14,900. Financing available. www.LandFirstNY.co, 1-888-683-2626

LAND FOR SALE, NY LAND & CABIN BARGAIN SALE Classic Adirondack Camp 5 acres - $29,995. Cozy CabinBase Camp 5 acres - $19,995. Near 1000’s of acres of Stateland, lakes & rivers. Access to snowmobile & ATV trails. Our best deal ever! Call 800-229-7843. See pics at www. landandcamps.com LAND FOR SALE: POTTER COUNTY 17 wooded acres adjoining state forest lands. Great hunting in area, c l ose to fi s h i n g st rea m s. Pe rc , electric. $72,900. Owner financing. 800-668-8679 RITTENHOUSE SAVOY, 2BDRMS, 2 FULL BATHS, 1200sq.ft. PLUS All windows face the Square. Newly renovated, NEW KITCHEN with BOSCH appliances, S.S./granite, marble/ hrdwd fls throughout, closets including walk-ins with closet systems. Heat and AC INCLUDED in Condo Fee. $599k For appt. George Gay R.E 215-563-6724

studio/ efficiency 15TH & SPRUCE: Beautiful Art Deco High-rise Studio Apt, Desk Attendant, HW Flrs, New Kitchen, Onsite Laundry, Intercom Entry, Amazing Location! $1030Mo. Avail Aug. 215-735-8030. Lic #219789. 21ST & WALNUT Spacious Studio w/ HWF, High ceilings, Laundry on prem. AVAIL JUNE! ALL UTILS INCL. $1035/ mo. MSRE, 215-925-RENT(7368), www. MichaelSingerRealEstate.com

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THE IMPERIAL (BROAD & JUNIPER/ S P RU C E STS. ) Sunny Studio w/ Great City view, HW fls, AC, Lndry in bldg. AVAIL JULY! GAS INCL. $735. MSRE, 215-925-RENT(7368), www. MichaelSingerRealEstate.com

lofts 814 N.BROAD: Huge New York style A r t i st Lof t a p t. Ba i rd M a n s i o n . 2/3BR. From $1000+. PhillyRentals. org 215-382-0112x511

one bedroom “RITT. SQ STREET BI-LEVEL. GREAT LOC AC, DW, ROOF DECK $1600++ Avail June (215)806-1526” 1352 SOUTH STREET- UNIT 214: Fabulous 1 bdrm condo, 1200 sq. ft, open & dramatic, 15ft ceilings, hrdwd flrs t/o, stainless steel appliances, granite counter tops & 24 hr concierge. $1800/mo. CONWAY T E A M . P R U, FOX & R O A C H , 215.627.6005/215.440.8190 10XX S. 11TH ST. 2ND Flr., 1 Bedroom Apt., Bath, Kitchen, LR. 215651-0498

4407 Driftwood Lane, Phila, Pa 19129 $289,990 2 BR/2.5 BA/1 Car Gar. 1857 sq. ft. June 2012 Move In From I 76; Take the Lincoln Drive/ Kelly Drive exit, stay left towards Ridge Ave/Kelly Dr, bear left on ramp towards Ridge Ave/Kelly Dr, turn left on Ridge Ave, Right on Schoolhouse Lane, Right on Founders Place. Call Sales Center at 215-844-8888. www.westrum.com

FOR SALE Brand New Townhomes in East Falls!

4425 Riverview Lane, Phila. Pa 19129

$324,990

14XX SO.16TH ST Lg.1bdrm.,1st. flr. Pvt. ent. A/C,D/W, G/D. $775/mo+utils. 215-465-8065. 1 5 0 0 B ROW N ST, B + C - $825/ mo 1BD/1.5BA, tile kitchen, Juliet balcony, high ceilings, CA. CALL RYAN MCCANN, PRU FOX & ROACH 215-627-6005/215-558-2118 9TH & SPRING GARDEN. MOD.2ND FLR. A/C,HDWD FLRS., GREAT LOC. $1100/ MO+UTILS. 610-304-0087, 10TH & RITNER 1st flr., apt. C/A, Hdwd Flrs., $750/mo.+. Call 215651-9190. 15TH & SPRUCE: Large 1BD in sought after location. Beautiful art-deco details, Front Desk Attendant, HW floors, Onsite Laundry, New Kitchens Avail, Wonderful City Views. From $1170/mo. Avail July. 215-735-8030. Lic #219789. 17TH & PINE Great 1BR, Newly ren. Laundry & more. $975+. PMG, 215545-7007 x303 23RD & LOCUST 1BR in Brownstone w/Deck. HW Flrs, high ceils, WD in bldg. Heating incl. Pets nego. $1200/ mo. 215-518-9796

office Space ImmedIate occupancy 404 to 6,152 square feet in the boutique PSFS bank building on the corner of 7th and Walnut Streets. Views of Washington Square or the private courtyard. Secure access to the building as well as elevator service.

Offered by Stonehenge Advisors, LLC at 215-320-3777.

one bedroom

house for rent

THE ROOSEVELT (2220 Walnut Street) - Beautifully renovated apts. in the RITTENHOUSE SQUARE AREA of Philadelphia. STUDIO’S starting at only $765/mo. and ONE BEDROOMS starting at only $965/mo. Call 215-640-8880 for an appointment.

4TH & LOMBARD 3BR Townhome on quaint street, HW flrs, CA, DW, WD, 2BA, Outdoor patio, Bsmnt, Dog friendly. AVAIL JULY! $1965. MSRE, 215-925-RENT(7368), www. MichaelSingerRealEstate.com

THE VICTORY BUILDING, Center City Large 900 sqft 1 bedroom 1 bath 4th floor corner apartment in grand building. 16 foot ceilings, hardwood floors, new ceiling fans, lots of giant windows. Doorman security, laundry room on each floor, elevator, gym. Close to restaurants, subway, reading terminal market, hospital, garage next door. $1600/mo.

two bedroom 9TH & SPRING GARDEN 2ND FLR., MOD. ALL APPLS.,A/C, NEWLY RENOV. $1200/MO.+. 610-304-0087. 19Th & CALLOWHILL Fab 2BR w/All amens. Deck, Garage. $1650+. PMG, 215-545-7007x303 318 BAINBRIDGE STREET: Beautiful restored Brownstone. 2 & 3 BR’s avail. 2 bths, HW flrs, CA, Washer/Dryer, private balcony/large garden. From $2650/mo. CONWAY TEAM. PRU, FOX & ROACH, 215.627.6005/215.440.8190 OLD CITY (6 S.Front St.) 2BR or Office combo. Overlooks BF Bridge & Del River. High ceiling, WD, DW, GD, CA, Gas heat, Tiled bath & Kit. $1150/mo+. 215-627-4414 OLD CITY: Located in a great location in the heart of Old City, these apartments feature 2 baths, a large living room, spacious dining area, full kitchen, W/D, DW, GD, WW carpeting and a very nice view of the city. Available for immediate move-in. Price range from $2155 per month. A real “MUST SEE”!!!! Call 215-360-5761 to make an appt.

3BR/2.5 BA/ 1 Car Gar. 1977 Sq, Ft. Hardwood Entire 1st Floor, Move in ready!

23RD & LOCUST 1BR+ Den & Yard. HW/Flrs, High ceils, DW. WD in bldg. Heat incl. Pets Nego. $1400/mo. 215-518-9796

From I 76; Take the Lincoln Drive/Kelly Drive exit, stay left towards Ridge Ave/ Kelly Dr, bear left on ramp towards Ridge Ave/Kelly Dr, turn left on Ridge Ave, Right on Schoolhouse Lane, Right on Founders Place. Call Sales Center at 215-844-8888. www.westrum.com

C.C., AVE OF ARTS: ULTRA MOD. Mrble BA/Jac. 2ND/FL, WD, CA, HW, Deck. $895+. 215-463-7374

three + bedrooms

CC PENTHOUSE Ultra mod, Mrbl BA/Jac, WD, CA, HWF, Deck. $975+. 215-463-7374

10TH & SNYDER APARTMENT, 4BDRS,2ND FLR.,Lg.Tile BATH,CARPET, $1200/ MO.+. 610-304-0087.

studio/ efficiency ARTISTS STUDIO SPACE THE PAPERMILL- Community of Artists. 2825 Ormes St. Affordable Artist Studios starting at $100 for 130 sf. Four large floors of open or private studio space for Painters, Sculptors, Dance, Theatre, or Creative companies. A community of artists practicing their talents in custom sized studio workspaces. Short term, inexpensive rental of theatre and gallery spaces. Join our group on Facebook for updates on our events and gallery spaces. Contact Wulfhart Management Group: Karyn 215-687-8391 or karyn@wulfhartmanagementgroup.com

6xx DICKINSON Large apt, 2nd fl, HW flrs. $700/mo. 215-922-1625 BELLA VISTA Clean, sunny 1BR apt 9th and Bainbridge, avail 6/1 Laundry on premises. $890/mo. Call Jim at 215-983-0887

O L D C I T Y ( 1 0 4 C h e s t n u t/2 n d Fl) Lg. 1 Bedrm, 1 Bath, Approx. 1300 s/f, tall windows, view of BF Bridge, high ceiling, carpeted, c/a, gas heat, d/w, g/d, w/d. $1095+/Mo. 215-627-4414 OLD CITY: Located in a great location in the heart of Old City, these a p a r t m e n ts fea tu re a s p a c i o u s living/ dining area, full kitchen, GD, DW, W/D, and WW carpeting. Prices range from $1,330 - $1,480 per month. Call 215-360-5761 to make an appt. THE CHATHAM (20TH/WALNUT) Spacious Studios/1BR’s in Highrise, Doorman bldg w/Magnificent Western & Southern exposure, View of Ritt Sq, HW flrs, Laundry on site, High flr. Prof managed. AVAIL NOW! ALL UTILS INCL. FROM $1,275. MSRE, 215-925-RENT(7368), www.MichaelSingerRealEstate.com

OLD CITY: SPACIOUS, BRIGHT 2BA, BI-LV CAC, HRWD, HI/CLGS UPDATED KIT/ BA, WD/apt. June $1595+ 215-733-0480 www.CentraAssociates.com OLD CITY: Sunny 2BR, 2BA. CA, Elev Bldg, BK cases, HW flrs, Wkng FP, Bg closets, WD, Open kit, DW, GD, Balcony. July. $1800/mo. 215-923-6485

17TH CHESNUT: GORGEOUS INCREDIBLE, MODERN, LGE BI-LVL, 3BDRMS, 3.5BATHS C/AC, ALL AMENITIES WD/fl. Avl 6/1. $3000+ George Gay RE, 215-563-6724 2814 POPLAR ST, 3 - $1,700/mo 3BD/1BA bi-level, hardwood floors, spacious bedrooms, lovely location. CALL MELANIE MCCONNELL PRU FOX & ROACH 215-627-6005/215-521-1533 3 5 2 J A C K S O N S T - $ 9 9 5 /m o 3BD/1BA, hardwood floors, finished basement, open kitchen, CA. CALL PAUL CHIN PRU FOX & ROACH 215627-6005/267-210-0488

1 1 T H & C H R I S T I A N - L O V E LY MOD.4BR.,2BTH, DECK/YD/ C/A,HDWD/ CARPETS. GREAT LOC! $2400+UTILS. 610-304-0087 21ST & Mifflin VIC. 4bdms.,3baths, A/C, fin.,bsmt. hwd flrs., Newly Renov., $1495/mo.+. 215-432-6222. 4 X X H O F F M A N S T- S o . P h i l l y. ( 2 ) H o m es. 2 o r 3 b e d r m s. $79 5. Mod.Kit/Bath, Hdwd flrs. 267307-0371 ART MUSEUM: 26xx Parrish 3BR, 2.5BA TH, Garage, Rear yard, CA, WD. $1900/mo+ Utils. 267-939-4959 BELLA VISTA AREA 4Bedrms.,2bath, C/A Hdwd.flr. Loaded with everything. $2300/mo. 215-651-9190. ITALIAN MARKET 9XX LEAGUE ST 2bedr. ultra mod. TOTALLY NEW! Call Villa Realty 215-271-0600

room for rent 1 24 L O M B A R D t h e H E A R T O F C E N T E R C I T Y, S O C I E T Y H I L L , HEAD HOUSE SQ. “TOKIO B&B” STUDIOS. WALK to HISTORIC LOCATIONS, RESTAURANTS, PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION. TOURIST are WELCOME! Reasonable daily rates ($55-$100) wkly rates ($300$500) TOURIST ARE WELCOME! WE also OFFER SPECIAL monthly ra t e s . We b s i t e h t t p : / /s u s h i . madamesaito.com MADAME SAITO 215-922-2515 13TH & SPRUCE- Parker Hotel CC. Fully Furn’d Rms, no sec. deposit. Utils & housekeeping incld. WK: $165-$203; Day: $40-$56. 215-735-2300.

roommate/ sharing ALL AREAS - ROOMMATES.COM. Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: http://www.Room mates.com.

business ProPerty CORNER 9TH & SPRING GARDEN Office/Store,1100-1200/sq.ft.Great Locat!$1500mo+ 610-304-0087

summer rentals B R I G A N T I N E Pe t s O K . 6/ 1 7- 6/24 $1150; 6/21-6/24 $575, July $1350/ wk; 9/2-9/9 $1025. www.BrigB.com 856-217-0025

vacation rental

530 W GIRARD AVE, 4 - $2,400/ mo 3BD/3BA bi-level, chef’s kitchen, access to private Penthouse roof deck, c/a. CALL RICH FRAVEL PRU FOX & ROACH 215-627-6005/2157416-2701

O C E A N C I T Y M A RY L A N D. B e s t selection of affordable rentals. Full/ partial weeks. Call for FREE brochure. Open daily. Holiday Real Estate. 1-800-638-2102 Online reservations: www.holidayoc.com

628 PINE ST, 2nd FL - $2,000/mo 3BD/1BA, high ceilings, wood floors, Juliet balcony, back porch, CA. CALL RYAN MCCANN PRU FOX & ROACH 215-627-6005/215-558-2118

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47

Philadelphia weekly

PW real estate

C.C. PINE ST, SML/eff. KITCHENETTE, SEP/ba, HEAT/elc WD/bldg. $620+elc 215-735-8414

13XX S.BROAD ST Spacious LV/ Rm,kitc.Mod.tile BA.HD/Flrs.Must See To Appreciate!Incls. Heat & Water. $800 215-755-6298

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P H I L A D E L P H I A W E E K LY JUNE 13 - JUNE 19, 2012

STREET TEAM: PT/Hourly position. Become a member of our Marketing Team! We’re seeking energetic, selfmotivated and out-going individuals to attend events to promote our newspaper. Candidate must be able to work flexible hours, including nights & weekends; work well with others; have good verbal and communication skills. Photography experience is a plus! Part-time/Hourly position. Please email a resume to nleyrer@ philadelphiaweekly.com NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE!

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SHORT ORDER COOK IRISH BAR/ GRILL, South St. FT/PT. Dependable 3yrs.exp/rfs. 267-784-7771

All real estate advertised in this newspaper is subject to federal, state and localfair housing laws, which makes it illegal to advertise any preference, limitation, or discriminationbased on race; color; religion;sex; disability; familial; (presence of children);national origin; age (Pennsylvania and New Jersey); martial status or sexual orientation(Pennsylvania and New Jersey), or source of Income (Philadelphia only) in the sale, rentalor financing or insuring of housing. This paper will not knowingly accept any advertisingfor real estate which violates these laws. The law requires that all dwellings advertised beavailable on an equal opportunity basis. If you believe you have been discriminated againstin connection with the sale, rent, financing or insuring of housing or commercial property,call HUD at 1-888-799-2085

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AT HOME WITH CHARACTER

A Good Sign

Rittenhoue Sq

The Packard Motor Car Building She was the stunning showroom for Packard Motors with soaring window walls and a stunning limestone exterior. Today, her spacious studios, 1 and 2-bedroom apartments bring gracious elegance and every modern convenience to today’s most luxurious apartment living.

www.reinholdresidential.com

317 North Broad Street Philadelphia, PA 19107 215.351.0930 Leasing Hours: Mon-Fri 10-6 Sat 10-5 • Sun Noon-5

locust & 21st - Cute 1 BD H/W, Laundry sansom & 21st - Sunny 1BD H/W, Laundry Walnut & 20th - Lg 1BD H/W, Walnut & 23rd- Bright StudioH/W Great Closet space pine & 21st - 1 Bd H/W Laundry locust & 22nd Cozy Studio Closets Galore!!! 775

$895 $950 $1075 $750 $1000

Avenue 0f the ARtS

spruce &Walnut 13th Great Studio’s & 1BD’S H/W 825& 23rd 1 & 2Bd's, hardwood, laundry C/A,W/D broad & spruceLocust & Mod 21st Studio’s&1BD Studios & 1Bd's, laundry, heat incl. Lg. 1BD H/W, Laundry spruce &Pine 10th&-21st 1Bd's, hardwood, heat incl., yard

$1000 $770-995 $575-1000 $825-$1000 $950 $850-950 $700-1000 Pine & 22nd 1 & 2Bd, hardwood, heat incl. $750-1100 Lombard & 23rd 1 &2Bd, bi-level, A/C Chestnut 20thUltra Ultra mod 1Bd's, bainbridge & 5th&NEW Mod 1BD C/WC/A, W/Dgreat location $875-1000 $1400 $875-1700 Lombard renov, mod studio, & 2Bd's $770-995 Walnut & 23rd 1 &12Bd's, hardwood, laundry 1BDNewly W/W, C/A $775 bainbridge & 3rd-&Lg19th $800-850 $575-1000 Locust & C/A, 21st heat Studios & 1Bd's, laundry, heat incl. Broad & Spruce Mod 1Bd's, W/D, incl. $850-950 Pine & 21st 1Bd's, hardwood, yard $850-995 Lombard & 9th 1Bd & 2Bd, w/d, hardwood, laundry heat incl., $700-1000 Pine & 22nd 1 & 2Bd, hardwood, heat incl. Pine & 9th 2Bd's, h/w floors, W/D & 23rd 1 &2Bd, bi-level, $995-1100 Lombard A/C aspen &Spruce 26th - &Great w/eat-in themod Art1Bd's, Museum from your front$750-1100 steps $875-1000 $995location Chestnut & 20thSee Ultra C/A, great 12thStudio’s 2Bd, 1-1/2 bath, Kitchen bi-level, laundry $875-1700 & 19th Newly renov, mod$995-1350 studio, 1 & 2Bd's $750-$775 Spruce & 16th Old World,Lombard 1 & 2Bd's, hardwood $800-850 Broad & Spruce Mod 1Bd's, W/D, C/A, heat incl. Yard $850 Wallace & $950-1750 Art20th Area- 1BD Ultra with Mod Back 1 & 3Bd's, W/D,&Deck, Parking $850-995 Lombard 9th 1Bd & 2Bd, w/d, hardwood, laundry $995-1100 & 9th 2Bd's, h/w floors, W/D $825-1375 Old City Fab ultra mod 1 &Pine 2Bd's, deck $995 Spruce & 12th 2Bd, 1-1/2 bath, bi-level, laundry $1950 University City 3Bd, 2 bath, totally renovated $995-1350 Spruce & 16th Old World, 1 & 2Bd's, hardwood $700 Spring Garden Nice $950-1750 ModStudio 1 & 3Bd's, steel W/D, Deck, Parking 9XX n. 3rd - New Super Collonade-Extremely Mod 2BR Art w/ Area 2 1/2Ultra Baths Stainless appliace w/ granite, C/A $825-1375 City Fab ultraC/A mod 1 & 2Bd's, deck $600-675 Q.V.Across 3rd &from Bambridge & 2Bd's, $2200 W/W, Parking! Park Last1Old one !! W/W, $1950 University City 3Bd, 2 bath, totally renovated $375 Spring Garden & 19th Studio, hardwood, Heat incl. $700 Spring Garden Collonade-Extremely Nice Studio Fairmount & 18th Mod 1Bd, $600-675 Q.V.C/A, 3rd W/D & Bambridge 1 & 2Bd's, W/W,$625 C/A $375 Spring Yard, Garden & 19th Studio, hardwood,$600 Heat incl. Mt. Vernon & 21st Gret Studio, Laundry $625 Fairmount & 18th Mod 1Bd, C/A, W/D $700 spruce &Wallace 16th Parking $200 & 20th Spot 1Bd, parquet floors, yard $600 Mt. Vernon & 21st Gret Studio, Yard, Laundry $225 south & 26th AspenGarage & 26th 1Bd, W/W, Wallace laundry & 20th 1Bd, parquet floors, yard$600 $700

queen villAge

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We Offer Full Management and Leasing Services

IT’S STRAIGHT UP AWESOME!

9th & Spruce – Wonderful apt w/Sleeping loft. Close to everything. $950+ 13th & Spruce –Great 1BR apt in Very cool building. $875+ Broad & Walnut – Great 1BR, w/All amenities. HW floors. $950+ 22nd & Spruce – Very Cool Studio. Incl heat. Avail 08/15 $750+ Broad & Spruce – Fabulous 2BR apt w/All amenities. $1250+

DOWNLOAD OUR FREE HAPPY HOUR GUIDE FEATURING 200 BARS TODAY AT WWW.PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM/HAPPYHOUR

W W W. P H I L A D E L P H I AW E E K LY. C O M

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philAdelphiA’s exclusive rittenhouse squAre AreA

P H I L A D E L P H I A W E E K LY JUNE 13 - JUNE 19, 2012

Built in an era when craftsmanship and attention to detail were paramount, The Chatham is a residence of elegance and distinction. The touches of Old World refinement are everywhere... in the intricate patterns of hardwood moldings and floors, to the ornate stonework that adorns the building’s famous facade. Generous rooms with fashionably high ceilings create the perfect ambiance for gracious living and entertaining. Doorman building. All utilities included. Rentals starting at $1,275/mo

annmarie or John 215.636.0100 Annmarie or John annemarie@wprg.net (215) 636-0100 or Ellen nancy orNancy ellen (215) 546-9247 215.546.9247

$600 Many More apartMents available!

Aspen & 26th 1Bd, W/W, laundry

Annmarie or John (215) 636-0100 Nancy or Ellen (215) 546-9247

ichael inger Real Estate 1117 Spruce Street • Phila., PA 19107

215.925.7368 www.MichaelSingerRealestate.com email us at: rent@msreco.com

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Chatham The

48


ONE BEDROOM

Abbotts Sq. Large Upgraded 1 Bedroom, 1.5 Baths, Balcony, wood flrs., c/a, w&d, nice view Rittenhouse Savoy Hi-floor 1 Br., 1 Bath, w/w carpet, c/a, all utilities & cable included 2224 S. Broad St.(Wolf St) 1 Br., 1 Bath & STUDIOS, w/w carpet, w&d in basement 3 avail 919 McKean St 1st flr, 1 Br., 1 Bath, yard, new kitchen, new bath just rehabbed 130 Bread St (The Castings) Courtyard garden 1 Br., 1 Bth., c/a, w&d, hrd.flrs.,xtra storage 1600 Arch St. The Phoenix Large 1 Br., 1 Bth, c/a,w&d, w/w carpet, gym nice light Abbotts Sq. 1 Bedroom, 1 Bath, balcony, c/a, w&d, wood floors granite kitchen 305 Queen St 1 Bedroom, 1 Bath, bi-level c/a, coin w&d, no pets, no smoking Avail June 15th 762 S. 4th St. 1 Bedroom, 1 Bath, c/a, w&d, w/w carpet available July 15th Society Hill Towers Corner Unit hi-flr.,c/a,upgraded, hrd. Flrs, all utilities & cable included 1500 Chestnut (The Ellington) Beautiful 817 sq.ft., 1 Br., 1 Bath great amenties 1307 N. Marshall (Northern Liberties area) 1 Br., 1 Bath, wood flrs, laundry in bldg

www. philadelphia weekly .com

STUDIO

2224 S. Broad St Studios and 1 Bedroom, 1 Bath, w/w carpet/tile Hopkinson House (6th & Locust) Studio, c/a, hrd.flrs., dressing area, includes utilities & cable

TWO BEDROOMS

715 N 6th St. (Northern Liberties) Very large 2 Brs.,1.5 Bths.c/a,hrd. Flrs.,w&d,d/w, no pets 236 Spruce St 2 Brs., 1.5 Baths, Hrd. Flrs, a/c, garden,full basement, washer & dryer 524 S. 3rd St 2nd flr. 2 Bedrooms 1 Bath, w/w carpets, c/a, w&d avail. July 15th

TOWNHOUSES

236 Spruce St 2 Bedrooms, 1.5 Baths, wood floors, garden, full basement, w&d 507 S. Hancock St (in Courtyard 2nd & Lombard) 2 Brs, 1 Bth, trinity, c/a, w&d June 9th 523 S. 2nd St. 3 Bedrooms, 2 Baths, hrd.flrs., c/a,w&d, no smoking, no pets Avail. August 1 324 S. 3rd St (3rd & Delancey Fabulous 3 Brs,2.5 Bths., 2-level deck, great kitchen, c/a, w&d

COMMERCIAL

25th & Wharton Sts. G-2 warehouses, garages, offices, 800sq. ft to 16,000 sq. ft available 404 South St 1200 sq.ft, retail store, bath, c/a, high traffic great block NNN 413 S. Broad St across from Symphony Hse. Approx 2500 sq.ft. bi-level offices, c/a.1.5 bths

ichael inger Real Estate

$1,550.00 $1,500.00 $600-$675 $795.00 $1,200.00 $1,900.00 $1,395.00 $1050.00 $800.00 $1,700.00 $1,975.00 $600.00

$600-$675 $975.00

$1,250.00 $1,850.00 $950.00

W W W. P H I L A D E L P H I AW E E K LY. C O M

226 South St. // 215.922.4200 & Associates, Inc. Realtors

$1,850.00 $1,400.00 $2,500.00 $3,500.00

$7-$9 sq.ft. $4,000.00 $2,500.00

WW W. P L U M E R R E . C O M FOR A COMPLETE LIST OF RENTAL UNITS

we have an apartment home for you.

over 50 years in the real estate business

AT HOME WITH CHARACTER

rittenhouse square/fitler square THE CHATHAM (20TH & WALNUT)- Spacious Studios & One Bedrooms in High rise, Doorman bldg w/Magnificent western & southern exposure, view of Rittenhouse Square, HW floors, Laundry on site, High floor, Professionally managed. ALL UTILITIEs INCL. frOM $1,275 AVAILABLE NOW! 21sT & LOCUsT –Charming Studios in Historic Brownstone, HW floors, Laundry on premHEAT/HOT WATEr INCL. $735 ises. AVAILABLE jUNE/jULy!

21sT & WALNUT – Spacious Studio w/HW floors, High ceilings, Laundry on premise. ALL UTILITIEs INCL. $1,035 AVAILABLE jUNE! 22ND & sPrUCE – One Bedroom in Mid-rise building, Elevator, HW floors, Laundry on HEAT/HOT WATEr INCL. $1,025 premise. AVAILABLE jULy! WashinGton square West/aVenue of the arts/olD CitY THE IMPErIAL (BrOAD & jUNIPEr/sPrUCE sTs.) –Sunny Studio w/Great City View, HW floors, A/C, Laundry in bldg. AVAILABLE jULy! GAs INCL. $735

The Touraine The most enviable address on Spruce Street, nestled near the Avenue of the Arts, the Touraine is a glorious mid-rise from an era of grand traditions. Today, its spacious studios, 1, 2 and 3-bedroom residences combine historic elegance with every modern convenience.

www.reinholdresidential.com

1520 Spruce Street Philadelphia, PA 19102 215.735.8618 Leasing Hours: Mon-Fri 10-6 Sat 10-5 • Sun Noon-5

At home with chArActer

13TH & PINE – Charming Three Bedroom House, HW floors, New kitchen, D/W, C/A, Basement w/WD, Outdoor patio. AVAILABLE MID-jUNE! $1,685 4TH & LOMBArD – Three Bedroom Townhome on quaint street, HW floors, C/A, D/W, W/D, 2baths, Outdoor patio, Basement, Dog friendly. AVAILABLE jULy! $1,965 12TH & WALNUT – Sunny One Bedroom, Elevator in building, High ceilings, HW floors, C/A, Laundry on premise. AVAILABLE jULy! $895

215-925-RENT 7

3

6

8

philadelphiaweekly.com/real-estate/

49

1117 Spruce Street www.michaelSingerrealestate.com

POINT. CLICK. REAL ESTATE!

P H I L A D E L P H I A W E E K LY JUNE 13 - JUNE 19, 2012

22ND & LOCUsT – Cool Studio, HW floors, Bright & Cheery, High ceiling, Laundry on premises. AVAILABLE jULy! HEAT/HOT WATEr INCL. $975


W W W. P H I L A D E L P H I AW E E K LY. C O M

cEntER citY luXuRY conDominiums FoR REnt Ave of The ArTs

tHe rittenHouse

penns LAnding sQuAre

AcAdemy House

210 W. rittenHouse sQuAre

1420 Locust street

130 spruce street

Studio, marble floors, marble bath, panoramic sunset view, renovated

Junior 1 bedroom, south and west views, great closet space, 656 sf $1,525

kitchen with high end finishes, 583 sf

2 bedrooms, 1.5 baths, W/D, city views from all rooms, 1019 sf

$2,350

2 bedrooms, 2 baths, high floor, balcony, city views, 1111 sf

$2,700

$1,650

$1,875

Studio, wood floors, large marble bathroom, western views, 583 sf

$2,250

2 bedrooms, 2 baths, high floor with panoramic city views, excellent riTTenhouse squAre

condition, 1418 sf

tHe cArLyLe 2031 Locust street 1 bedroom, lots of light, open kitchen, 567sf

$1,375

2 bedrooms, 2 baths, 270 degree city views, separate dining room, 1079 sf

$2,500

$4,750

Hopkinson House Efficiency, South views, excellent natural light, 415 sf

1 bedroom, intimate city views, very good condition, large bay windows, $1,600

1 bedroom, high floor with unobstructed city views, large bay windows,

1701 Locust street

open kitchen, 704 sf

$1,825

2 bedrooms, 2 baths, eat-in kitchen, large bay windows, 1200 sf $2,675

from all rooms, 843 sf

$1,425

Studio, wood floors, walk-in closet, marble bathroom, beautifully $1,525

appointed kitchen, 423 sf

2 bedrooms plus den, wood floors, open renovated kitchen, private deck overlooking Pine Street, indoor parking space included, 1999 sf $2,800

313 soutH 18tH street Studio, wood floors, updated kitchen and bath, boutique building less than two blocks from Rittenhouse Square, 382 sf

$875

2 bedrooms, 2 baths, corner unit with lots of light, updated kitchen, beautiful hardwood floors throughout, 1050 sf

$2,975

3 bedrooms, 3 baths, large and light-filled rooms throughout, designer kitchen and baths, wood floors, custom built closets, 2527 sf

$7,500

5 bedrooms, 4.5 baths, updated kitchen, one car parking, private rear $3,000

$1,650

& bath, 710 sf

237 s. 18tH street

620 pine sTreeT

patio, 3500 sf

1 bedroom overlooking 18th Street, wood floors, new kitchen

tHe bArcLAy

$1,600

1119 pine street

Studio, western city view, open kitchen, marble bathroom with stall shower, 412 sf

$1,050

1 bedroom, galley kitchen, highfloor, balcony, Washington Square view

2020 WALnut street

WArWick $1,350

WAshingTon squAre

1 bedroom, highfloor, excellent natural light, great storage space, 778 sf $1,575

WAnAmAker House

open kitchen, 700 sf

Studio, wood floors, marble bath, high-end kitchen, 345 sf

1 bedroom, located in the heart of Society Hill, community pool, 915 sf

independence plAce ArT museum

233 - 241 s. 6tH street

tHe pHiLAdeLpHiAn

Penthouse, 3 bedrooms, 2.5 baths, magnificent river views, fireplace,

2401 pennsyLvAniA Avenue Studio w/balcony, Fairmount view, open kitchen, 570 sf

$975

updated kitchen and baths, 2575 sf

$5,250

pArc rittenHouse 225 s. 18tH street Studio, bay window, marble bath, spacious kitchen, 439 sf

$1,500

2 bedrooms, 2 baths, lots of natural light from south facing windows in all rooms, hard wood floors, marble baths, designer kitchen, 1064 sf $3,250

old ciTy/socieTy hill

commerciAl spAce

society HiLL toWers

1830 Rittenhouse Square – Rittenhouse Square professional or personal

200-220 Locust street Studio, treetop views of Society Hill, floor-to-ceiling windows, 504 sf $1,200

tHe dorcHester

Corner 1 bedrooms, lots of light, wood floors, updated bathroom,

P H I L A D E L P H I A W E E K LY JUNE 13 - JUNE 19, 2012

226 W. rittenHouse sQuAre Efficiency, high floor, western city views, 395sf

$1,165

775 sf

$1,650

office space in boutique, doorman building, 754 sf

$1,590

250 S. 18th Street – Prime ground floor corner retail/office space on Rittenhouse Square, 1857 sf

$3,000 NNN

Studio, high floor, oversized windows, good closet space, 573 sf $1,395

2 bedrooms, 2 baths, treetop city views, floor-to-ceiling windows,

1601 Locust Street - 1st floor and lower level of prestigious Lanesborough

2 bedrooms, 2 baths, high floor, balcony, 1119 sf

generous living space, 1200 sf.

condo, ideal for restaurant or offices, 4700 sf

$2,450

independence pLAce 241 south 6th street Penthouse with 3 bedrooms and 2.5 baths, balcony, magnificent city and river views, 2575 sf

$5,250

$2,400

pArc rittenHouse 225 south 18th street 2 bedrooms, 2 baths, high-end kitchen, marble baths, south view, 1064 sf

$3,250

Allan Domb Real Estate

1845 Walnut St. Suite 2200 • rentals@allandomb.com 215/545.1500

50

FoR A complEtE list oF ouR REntAl pRopERtiEs, plEAsE visit www.AllAnDomb.com

$10,000 NNN


W W W. P H I L A D E L P H I AW E E K LY. C O M

imAginE Living WhErE ThE CiTY ComES To LiFE. LivE on ThE AvEnUE oF ThE ArTS. only Symphony house and 777 South Broad put you here, right in the heart of Philadelphia’s cultural, entertainment, dining and shopping scene.

luxury loft apartmentS for rent

Steps from The Kimmel Center Assigned garage parking available Sweeping views World-class amenities

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Fri–Sun 12–5pm 1- BR from $499,900 2- BR from $825,000

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Condominiums

Mon-Fri 10–6pm Sat 10-5pm Sun 12-5pm Apartments from $2,295

777SouthBroad.com

Excellence in Urban Living

P H I L A D E L P H I A W E E K LY JUNE 13 - JUNE 19, 2012

Spectacular condominiumS for Sale

51


W W W. P H I L A D E L P H I AW E E K LY. C O M

4511 Silverwood Street • $539,000 Manayunk, Pennsylvania 19127

open houses CALL 215.563.1234 Times are subject to change. Calling ahead to confirm time is advised.

Monday through Friday 8:30 a.m. - 5 p.m. Submit ads online at philadelphiaweekly.com

Welcome to this fabulous 4 bedroom and 3 full bathroom contemporary town home located in the heart of trendy Manayunk. This unique three story home is only two years old and offers all of the amenities of a new home plus many upgrades including floor to ceiling windows, new kitchen and bathrooms, third floor deck patio, high ceilings, beautiful hardwood floors throughout and two car private garage. Visit this house online at, www.4511silverwoodstreet. com or use your mobile device to scan this QR code.

19th and Morris Corner Store + 2nd Floor Apartment. $120,000.

1615 Carpenter Street Carriage House. Graduate Hospital. 3-car parking. $335,000.

1613-27 Germantown Avenue 9600 sq. ft. on 1 Floor. Light Industrial. $399,000.

254 Heather Road Corner Renovated Duplex in Upper Darby with Parking Lot. $179,000.

421 N. Union Street Powelton Village. Renovated 3 Bedroom. Corner. Hardwood. Open Floor Plan. $149,000.

1945 Sigel Street 3 Bedrooms in Newbold. $39,900.

Thursday 6/14 5:30 - 7:00PM

5008 Erringer Place

3:00 - 4:00PM

South Philadelphia 1622 S Bancroft ST $165,000 Plumer & Associates

Sunday 6/17 1:00 - 3:00PM Northern Liberties 441 W George ST $264,900 Plumer & Associates

South Philadelphia 1622 S Bancroft ST $165,000 Plumer & Associates

DEADLINES: DISpLAy ADS - FrIDAyS @ 5 p.m. LINE ADS - moNDAyS @ 5 p.m.

113 Washington Ave.

215-755-1100

pennSport

point breeze

17XX pACkER AvE. - larger Main St. home with driveway, total rehab, h/w floors t/o three bedrooms, $305,000 16XX S. 7Th - Spacious three bedroom, 1 bath. Reduced 135,000 3XX WINTON ST. - Great Rehab, move right in, 2 bed, 1 1/2 bath $119,900 21XX S. hOWARd ST. - Newer front, two bedrooms, nice size, nicely done. 169,000. 21XX S. WOOdSTOCk ST Nice Commercial property and apartment. 19XX SNYdER AvE Commercial propety with nice apartments $180,000. 5XX pORTER ST. - large three bedroom, finished basement c/a $139,000. 10XX WINTON ST - cute two bedroom, large kitchen, nice front $135,000. 26XX dICkINSON ST - 3 bedroom, great for investor or first time buyer, move right in $42,900.

1XX MERCY ST . - Total rehab, fireplace, H/w floors t/o two bed. 1.5 bath, finished basement. $210,000.

NEW CONSTRUCTION 20XX TITAN Three Bedroom, 2.5 Bath, every amenity possible, contemporary with all the style of center city outstanding finishes. 289,000

2XX EARp ST. - House in need of EllSWORTh - Four renovation, two bed, $125,000. 22XX bedroom shell, located in the 18XX S. fRONT ST - Nice hot developing Point Breeze Modern kitchen, Four Bedrooms. area of South Philly. Reduced to $77,500. Hardwood floors $219,000. 18XX MANTON ST. New 18XX S. 2Nd ST. - Vacant land, construction, 360 view of center city, master suite with corner lot 16x69, $105,900. breakfast bar, Three bdrms, two full and one half baths, finished 15XX S. 2Nd ST - Main St. 2 1/2 basement. $309,000. story home, three bedrooms, neW JerSeY large yard. $185,000. 17XX S. 2Nd - two family home, street to street, parking, $275,000. 2101 S. hOWARd ST - corner Snyder, large two bedroom, $159,000. 14XX S. ORIANNA ST. Needs total renovation $109,000.

SoUtH WeSt

PENDIN

71XX phOEbE plACE - well 18XX E. hUNTINgdON ST. - maintained, four bedroom, 1.5 Total rehab, 3 bdr, 2 1/2 bath. baths, close to shopping center. $182,000. $159,000

G

dENNISvIllE - bANk fOREClOSURE 6XX pETERSbURg Rd. 4 bedroom - 2 full baths. $299,000. 2131 S. bROAd ST. - Rental Unit, commercial, 1st floor. $1,250.

LotS XX SEARS ST (pENNSpORT) 40 x45 Build your dream home.

2038 So. 22nd Street Beautifully Renovated. 2 Master Suites. Powder Room. Finished Basement. $179,000.

2431 Manton Street

FOR SALE

Gutted shell. Ready for Rehab. $32,500.

1815-17 S 6th Street Over 4000 sq ft Corner. Open Floor Plan. $188,500.

Italian mrkt. 11th & Carpenter lg 2br, 1.5ba in great cond. FP, C/A. Full flr. spacious & open mstr br w/studio/loft/cath ceiling and deck. Lg 2nd br w/den/office. lg cer tile ba., ceramic tile flr, EIK.10’ ceiling in liv/din area, hwd flr., stained & leaded gls wdws., door vest., mirrored walls, patio, unf bsmt. $295,000

Fred r. levine r e a l e s tat e

215-465-3733

215-816-1153

rsommov@yahoo.com

JOHN BROWN & ASSOCIATES F E AT U R E D L I S T I N G S

2224 Wallace Street

$649,000

508 Lombard Street

$589,000

932-B Ellsworth Street

$389,000

200 Locust Street 9A

$329,900

1535 S Iseminger Street

$265,000

This 4 bed/2 bath is a true work of Art! The respect for architecture and design is evident in this stunning restoration of a classic Spring Garden Victorian Townhouse. At every turn you’ll be impressed by the attention to detail, wonderful natural light, and spaciousness of this gorgeous 2700+ sq ft home.

Spectacular contemporary residence features dramatic living room, formal dining room, newer kitchen with sliding glass doors to outdoor dining, gleaming hardwood floors, 3 bedrooms, 2.5 bathrooms, family room, laundry room, incredible basement storage and attached garage parking! All at an incredible value!

Light filled, corner home, in the heart of the Italian Market! Spacious rooms and tall ceilings add to the comfort of this 3 bed/2.5 bath home. Features include a top of the line custom kitchen, finished basement, hardwood floors, spacious closets, patio garden and spectacular roof deck with unobstructed skyline views!

Gorgeous, move-in ready 2 bedroom corner unit at the Society Hill Towers features an upgraded kitchen, marble bathroom, refinished hardwood floors, customized closets and floor-to-ceiling window with dramatic City and Society Hill views.

Newly rehabbed 2 bedroom with open floor plan, bamboo floors, recessed lighting, granite/stainless kitchen, cozy private patio, updated windows and beautiful tiled bath. Situated in the Heart of the vibrant Passyunk Square neighborhood

rentaLS 17XX ORIANNA ST. - garage for rent $950.00 22XX SO. bROAd ST. - prof. office space,1st fl.& basement $1,800.00 mnt.

MICHAEL ROTELLA • JOSEPH CATROPPA • VINCE CATROPPA • BETSY MULGREW • MARGE FITHIAN • DEBORAH MCMULLAN FRANK DE SIMONE • KAREN SCENA • JODI PAPANIER • JONATHAN HYMAN • PATRICK NEWCOMB

52

P H I L A D E L P H I A W E E K LY JUNE 13 - JUNE 19, 2012

SoUtH pHiLa.

FiSHtoWn

Rob Forster Weichert Realtors- Wayne, PA 19087 Direct: 610-420-6187 Email: rob@theforstergroup.com

Bella Vista Beauty

View open house listings at: philadelphiaweekly.com/real-estate/open-house/

weekly

Bebe Forster Weichert Realtors- Wayne, PA 19087 Direct: 610-283-2415 Email: bebe@theforstergroup.com

Near Germantown Cricket Club. 4 Bedroom. Deck. Garage. Hardwoods. $149,000.

w w w. s u m m i t r e a l e s tat e i N C . C o m

FOX & ROACH

REALTORS 530 Walnut Street, Suite 260 • Philadelphia, PA 19106 • 215.440.8173 / 215.627.6005 john.brown@prufoxroach.com • www.phillypropertysource.com

John Brown, Sean Kaplan, Eden Silverstein, Greg Williams

NATIONALLY RANKED WITHIN THE “TOP 100” SALES TEAMS BY PRUDENTIAL REAL ESTATE AFFILIATES!


Specializing in Main Line and Center City Damon Michels Damon Michels • Joan Federico Melissa Corbman • Ro Taormina • Carla Tyler William Isen • Janis Dubin

DAMON MICHELS Call: 215-840-0437

610-688-4310

Damon@DamonMichels.com www.DamonMichels.com

CENTER CITY PHILA.

THE WILLIAM PENN HOUSE OPEN SUN 11- 4PM I MON 12-6PM TUES - FRI 9AM-6PM I SAT 12-3PM

Rittenhouse Sq • Rooftop Pool • Fitness Center Valet Parking • 24 HR Security 24 HR Maintenance • All Utilities Included

Includes real estate tax • no transfer tax Studios 125,000-175,000 I 1BDs 175,000-275,000

MAIN LINE SUBURBS OPEN SUNDAY 2- 4PM 114 E. Princeton Rd., Bala Cynwyd

4BD/3.1BA 2,929 SQFT COLONIAL 1-CAR GARAGE; FINISHED LL, REDUCED - $649K

- BY APPOINTMENT 49 Cornell Rd., Bala Cynwyd 5BD/2.2BA 3,314 Sq.Ft. Colonial Finished, Walk-out LL $599,000

NEW - 1348 Bobarn Drive, Penn Valley

- OPEN HOUSE 11:30pm-1:00pm

2/3 Car Garage; .89 Acre, $925,000

5BD/4.1BA; 5,588 Contemporary

712 Sussex Rd, Wynnewood 4BD/2.1 BA, .25 ACRE CENTRAL AIR; 2479 SQ. FT. $675,000

3BD/1.1BA; Twnhouse $329K

1519 Swain Street, Art Museum Area 3BD/2.1BA 1,552 Sq.Ft Renovated Twnhouse Central

Haverford Village, 700 #408 Ardmore Ave, Ardmore 2BD/1.1BA; updated townhouse $224,900

Air, Finished LL; $399K

336 David Dr., Havertown PA

510 S. 11th Street, Phila

4BD/2.1BA Split in Paddock Farms 2,346 Sq.Ft. $339,000

Wash Square West, 3BD/2BA, 3-Story Twnhome C/A $349k

7013 Wayne Ave., Upper Darby

1806-10 Rittenhouse Square #2002 – The Savoy

4Bd/2.1Ba Renovated Colonial 2,124 Sq. Ft $189,000

4bd/3ba contemporary condo $799,000

911 E. Darby Rd., Havertown

2,179 Sq.Ft. Incredible views from 20th floor

3Bd/1.1Ba townhouse $199K 1,664 Sq.Ft; 1-car Garage

100 Arch St., #1A a/k/a 62 N. Front Street Old City Philadelphia, 2BD/2.2 BA Bi-Level

NEW - 1440 Flat Rock Rd., Penn Valley

2500 Sq.Ft., Renovated; Low Taxes REDUCED - $550K

5BD/4.5BA French Colonial; 5,096sf; 3/4 Acre; 2-car garage, $1,195,000 (4850/mo Rent)

2BD/2.1BA End Unit Townhome, 1,556sq. ft. $375K

1409 Wesleys Run, Gladwyne

1125 Spruce St. D E D Sq. West P E#D,NWashington

323 South 2nd Street #8B, Society Hill

5BD, 4.5BA Home $1,150,000

1BD/1BA Condo at Penns Landing Square

FOR RENT - 401 Hidden River Road

Renovated; 1-car Garage $338K

4BD/2.1 Contemporary Secluded & Private setting; $2,900/month

1145 S. 61st Street, Cobbs Creek 4BD/1BA Freshly Painted $119K

3508 Hamilton St – Powelton Village 4Bd/3.1Ba 3,300 Sq.Ft. REDUCED - $647K

MIKE McCANN

Large 1BD, 1BA Condo, $216,700 • 1108 Rodman Street - Washington Sq West Gorgeous Row w/2 Car Garage, $1,100,000 Damon@DamonMichels.com • 844 N. 28th St - Art Museum Area Triplex, Corner Lot, 100% Occupied! $500,000 www.DamonMichels.com • 1833 Spruce Street - Rittenhouse Square 3 BD, Renovated Bi-level Condos $2,650/mo • 258 S. 10th St. - Washington Square West • 1208 Greentree Ln,Penn Valley Renovated 6 Unit Mixed use Bld. $999,000 4BD, 3BA, Bright and Open Cape $515,000 • The National, 112 N. 2nd St., #5A4 - Old City NEW.1336 sq ft 2BD, 2BA balcony, $549,000 610-688-4310 • 191 Presidential Blvd #828 - Bala Cynwyd 2BD, 2BA, Condo, $375,000, Rn $3,250/mo • 1609 S. Clarion St.,Philadelphia South

Call: 215-840-0437

2BDs 275,000-450,000 I 3BDs 400,000-500,000

2427 Carpenter Street, Graduate Hospital

available.

825 Beechwood Dr., $150,000 Lower Merion $350,000 3 BD, 1.5 BA, 3 car garage $395,000 • 2601 Pennsylvania Ave #801 - At Museum

-- OAK HILL PENN VALLEY -1640 OakwoodPE #w311 - 1BD, 1BA, w/d $139k ED ND

THE REAL ESTATE MAN

401 Hidden River Rd, Penn Valley 4BD, 2.5BA, on 1.81 Acre, wooded lot. $600,000, Rnt $3,900/mo

THE #1 PRUDENTIAL SALES ASSOCIATE IN THE U.S.!

THINKING OF SELLING?

CALL 215.778.0901

2BD, 1BA, Row, $950/mo.

NEW THIS WEEK! Rittenhouse Square $239,900 Contemporary 3-story, 1BD/1.5BA condo unit with a private red brick yard and wood fence, wood and stainless kitchen, featuring a spiral staircase and magnificent lighting.

1903 Kimball $359,900 Fantastic 3BD/3BA, 3 story home with finished basement, stunning hardwood floors, spacious rear yard, complete with granite and stainless kitchen, spacious Art Museum $259,900 master bedroom suite, and rooftop deck. Extremely charming 1BD/1BA loft style QUEEN VILLAGE home with Pergo wood flooring, granite and stainless tile kitchen, and exposed beam 129 League #2 $379,900 ceiling, complete with an exquisite master Beautiful 2BD/1.5BA second floor unit with bedroom suite, cute yard, many other lovely 1-car parking, plenty of natural lighting, details! terrace area, wonderful kitchen and private Rittenhouse Sq $325,000 deck! Spacious and stunning, 2BD/1BA co-op unit in The William Penn House with a pool, valet parking, and a fitness center, featuring an open living/dining room, a gorgeously renovated granite and stainless kitchen and beautiful south side city views from every room!

ART MUSEUM 1708 Wallace #301 $229,900 Lovely 1BD/1BA home with open layout, stainless and granite kitchen, hardwood floors, wood-burning fireplace, romantic bedroom suite and magnificent deck with southern views!

THINKING OF BUYING?

CALL 215.440.8345 PENNSPORT

QUEEN VILLAGE

$439,900

Beautiful 2BD/2BA townhouse style condo with 1-deeded parking space and common courtyard, featuring stainless and granite kitchen, wide open living/ dining room, wood floors, gas burning fireplace, master bedroom suite, and a charming porch deck!

SOCIETY HILL 130 Spruce St 32A $489,900 Beautiful bi-level 2BD/2BA condo with parking, hardwood floors, and a small pool, featuring updated granite and stainless kitchen, private yard, all in a lovely courtyard community!

FITLER SQUARE

$459,900

Adorable 2BD/1.5BA home on a charming block with a beautifully landscaped private courtyard, hardwood floors, and Juliet balcony, featuring granite and stainless kitchen and tons of natural lighting!

338 S 3rd St $525,000 Handsome 2BD/2BA home with a den, sun deck, wood flooring throughout, a lovely master suite, and a fireplace.

WASHINGTON SQUARE WEST

GRADUATE HOSPITAL

838-40 Lombard $1,795,000 Heavenly 5BD/4.5BA home with rooftop 1543 Montrose $369,900 terrace, elevator, and garage, complete with Charming, one of a kind 3BD/2BA home with granite and stainless kitchen, cozy den, 4 piece marble tile bath, and private yard with oak flooring, stainless and granite kitchen patio and gardening area. plus open yard, complete with a custom tile bath, plenty of natural lighting, and a 505 S. 10th St I $545,000 stunning master suite. Sunshine fills this 3BD/2.5BA corner unit 2012 Kimball $349,900 complete with 1-car parking, hardwood floors, wood burning fireplace, separate Gorgeous new construction, 3BD/2.5BA dining area, master bedroom suite, rooftop home featuring a magnificent master deck, finished basement and lush garden! bedroom suite, finished tile basement, and cute yard, complete with a stainless & 914 Spruce St 9 $379,900 granite kitchen and hardwood floors. Immaculate, 2nd floor 2BD/2BA home 1905 Kimball $354,900 with parking, heavenly high ceilings, and hardwood floors, featuring an open living Stunning 3BD/3BA home with a finished room with wood burning fireplace. tile basement, amazing rooftop deck, and beautiful sized yard, featuring hardwood floors, a spacious stainless & granite kitchen, in a grand location!

$415,000

Brand new 3BD/2.5BA corner home with den and rooftop terrace with 360 degree views! Bamboo flooring, custom kitchen cabinetry, entire third floor master suite, beautifully finished basement, and rear yard with parking potential!

W W W. P H I L A D E L P H I AW E E K LY. C O M

THE DAMON MICHELS TEAM

QUEEN VILLAGE

$589,900

Rarely-offered 4BD/3.5BA townhome in a gated community with an au-pair suite, garage parking, and fireplace, complete with hardwood flooring and stainless steel appliances. GRADUATE HOSPTIAL $675,000

Brand new construction development with 3BD/2.5BA plus 1 car garage, hardwood floors, stainless kitchen, cozy den, spectacular master suite, and every possible amenity you can imagine!

Visit my website for more information

WWW.MCCANNTEAM.COM

215.627.6005 215 .440.8 3 45 WWW.MCCANNTEAM.COM

AN INDEPENDENTLY OWNED AND OPERATED MEMBER OF THE PRUDENTIAL REAL ESTATE AFFILIATES, INC.

pleaSe contact uS For a complimentary evaluation oF your property Simply call and we will make arrangementS at your convenience

pleaSe viSit www.Spectrumrealty.net For propertieS For Sale

P H I L A D E L P H I A W E E K LY JUNE 13 - JUNE 19, 2012

FOX & ROACH REALTORS

1601 oregon ave : 215.389.2222 // 423 S. Broad St. 215.227.3333

53


W W W. P H I L A D E L P H I AW E E K LY. C O M

For over 80 years the most respected name in Philadelphia Real Estate Center City’s Largest Independent Realtor

& Associates, Inc. Realtors

thIs week’s FeAtuRed PRoPeRtIes

326 SPRUCE ST

Stunning Greek Revival mansion, 4+br, 4.5b, library, den, amazing original detail, beautiful garden, elevator, parking

$2,495,000

217 SPRUCE ST

Museum quality Colonial restoration, 6br, 5b, den, basement, original detail, garden, 2 car parking

$1,695,000

1933 RODMAN ST

$385,000

Call Leon Aksman

Call Izzy Sigman

1201 MT VERNON ST SPRING ARTS

441 W GEORGE ST NEW LISTING! OPEN SUNDAy 6/17 1-3 PM

New construction, 3br, 2.5b, h/w flrs, finished basement, tax abatement

Northern Liberties gem, all new renovations, 2br, huge bath, yard w/ deck

$374,900

Call Maryellen Cammisa

SALE

Totally upgraded 2br, 2b, exquisite kitchen & baths, patio, pool, deeded parking, move in!

$560,000

Call Karen Joslin

Call Karen Joslin

Unique new renovation, 2br, 1.5b, large kitchen, wall of windows, brick patio

130 SPRUCE ST 35A PENN’S LANDING SQ

$264,900 Call Chris Baker

SALE

PM Page 1 search all11/8/10 Center3:48City Properties at: www.PlumerRE.com

Philly Weekly 10 x 5.5

QUEEN VILLAGE FEATURED PROPERTY RITTENHOUSE 3 Story Victorian Row SQUARE SQUARERITTENHOUSE

Chandler Place Condominium Duplex Just Renovated! 2.5 Baths 1 Bedroom21 Bedrooms Bath $335,000 $339,000$890,000 MLS 5965620 MLS 5787044 MLS 6030099

P H I L A D E L P H I A W E E K LY JUNE 13 - JUNE 19, 2012

Powers Brangan

215.893.9920 Rittenhouse Square 2000 Pine Street Philadelphia, PA 19103

215.247.3600 Chestnut Hill 8039 Germantown Avenue Philadelphia, PA 19118

$484,500

Call Scott Neifeld

1622 S BANCROFT ST OPEN ThURSDAy 6/14, 5:30-7 PM & SUNDAy 6/17, 3-4 PM 3br, 2b, finished basement, new kitchen & bath

$165,000

Call Trish Kelly 226 South Street

215 922 4200 QUEEN VILLAGE FISHTOWN Duplex Open Floor Plan

$369,000 3 Bedrooms 2.5 Baths $329,900 MLS 5965611 MLS 5784384

UNIVERSITY CITY CITY UNIVERSITY UNIVERSITY CITY

$375,000 1 Bedroom 1 Bath

$242,500 $259,900 $237,599

$339,000

MLS 6055814 5950613 MLS $225,000

Alexandra

Stunning 3br, 2b green condo, +/-1600sf, Meredith School area, 2 decks

UNIVERSITY CITY WASHINGTON FISHTOWN 3 Bedrooms SQUARE1.5 Baths

1313 Hewson Street Charming Condominium

EWRhomes.com Alexandra

620 FITZWATER ST B NEW LISTING!

MLS 5777406

Powers Brangan PENNSPORT CENTER CITY

FERN 3 Bedrooms StateROCK of the2artBaths Loft 6042 N 10th Street Condominium $239,000 2 Bedrooms $139,900 MLS 59569862 Baths $489,555 MLS 6027733 MLS 5746449

CENTER CITY NORTHERN FISHTOWN Duplex LIBERTIES

Open Layout Walkers Paradise! 2$379,000 Bedrooms 1 Bedroom 11 Bath Bath MLS 5897864 $200,000 $269,900 MLSMLS 6041116 5744269

Sunny Townhouse Townhouse Sunny Sunny Townhouse 33Bedrooms 2.5Baths Baths Bedrooms 2.5 MLS 5790241 5790241 MLS

FEATURED PROPERTY

GRADUATE HOSPITAL New Construction FEATURED 2 Bedrooms 3 Baths The Residences at PROPERTY $449,000

THE6035517 MURANO MLS The Residences Satring in the

$400,000s at THE MURANO SPRING ARTS Starting in the Bi-Level Condo 2 Bedrooms 2.5 Baths $400,000s $269,900

MLS 6034283

54


ART MUSEUM / logAn SqUARE river’s eDge

The phiLaDeLphian

RiTTEnhoUSE SqUARE COnT.

Townhome style condo with 3 bedrooms and 2.5 baths, beautifully appointed chef’s kichen, designer master bathroom, roof deck

1778 sf

$349,900

studio, open renovated kitchen, private balcony, Fairmount views

570 sf

$159,900

riTTenhouse savoy The WarWick parc riTTenhouse parc riTTenhouse The riTTenhouse WanaMaker house

AvEnUE of ThE ARTS acaDeMy house

1 Br, excellent natural light, wood floors Throughout, french balcony, south views from all rooms 724 sF

$269,900

acaDeMy house

Junior 1 Br, high floor, western city views

$229,000

1 bedroom plus den, 2 baths, lots of natural light, penthouse floor, side-by-side washer and dryer 1,544 sf 1Br, 1Ba, hardwood floors, marble Ba, custom kitchen 712 sf 1Br, large kitchen, marble bathroom, wood floors 637 sf studio, generous living/sleeping space, open kitchen, large bathroom appointed in marble 578 sf studio, wood floors, large marble bath, panoramic sunset view 583 sf 1 Br, wood floors throughout, bay windows in all rooms, excellent condition 704 sf

$399,900 $399,900 $359,900 $329,900 $319,900 $300,000

SociETy hill

RiTTEnhoUSE SqUARE

Bank BuiLDing

BarcLay

3 Br + den, 3.5Ba, marble foyer, formal dining rm, sunny eat-in kitchen, 10’ ceilings, moldings, oak herring bone

socieTy hiLL ToWers

floors, 3 gas fireplaces

socieTy hiLL ToWers

raw space that can be designed and built into a custom home overlooking independence Mall 3,068 sf $1,150,000 Brand new 2 Br + den, 2.5 Ba home, lots of natural light, wood flrs, open chef’s kitchen, designer Ba, services available from adjoining oMni hotel 2,025 sf $1,100,000 Brand new 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom condo, wood floors, designer baths, custom chef’s kitchen, exposed brick and high ceilings throughout 2,017 sf $995,000 2 Br, 1 Ba, parquet wood floors, washer/dryer, unobstructed river views, floor-to-ceiling windows 1,200 sf $399,000 1 bedroom, open kitchen, wood floors, unobstructed river views from all rooms 712 sf $269,900

socieTy hiLL ToWers

1Br, high floor, river view, investment opportunity

700 sf

$269,900

socieTy hiLL ToWers

1Br , floor-to-ceiling windows, lots of light, updated kitchen and bath.

700 sf

$249,900

624 sf

Bank BuiLDing Bank BuiLDing

The riTTenhouse

3,293 sf

Bi-level penthouse with dramatic sunset views of the city, lavish entire flat master suite, great entertaining space 4,455 sf

parc riTTenhouse

The WarWick

3 bedrooms, 3.5 baths, 270 degree city views, wood floor, chef’s kitchen, marble baths, 2000 sf

The DorchesTer

2 bedrooms, 2 baths, balcony atop rittenhouse square, wood floors, renovated throughout 1231 sf

$1,475,000 $1,050,000

$725,000

2 bedrooms, 2 baths, corner unit with lots of light, updated kitchen, beautiful hardwood floors throughout

2 bedrooms, 2 baths, eat-in kitchen, large bay windows with city views

1,050 sf

$610,000

1,198 sf

$539,900

wAShingTon SqUARE 220 W. WashingTon square entire floor 3 bedroom, 3 bathroom home, Washington square views, custom finishes and features throughout 3,720sf sf $2,100,000 inDepenDence pLace Bi-level penthouse, 2Br. 2.5Ba, 2 kitchens, impeccably finished throughout, amazing river and city views 4,500 sf $1,800,000 hopkinson house 1 bedroom, open chef’s kitchen, designer bathroom, wood floors, great storage space, balcony with river and south city views. 778 sf $309,900 hopkinson house 1 bedroom, 2 baths, balcony overlooking Washington square, brand new appliances in the kitchen, custom built-ins throughout 843 sf $299,900 inDepenDence pLace 1Br, 1Ba, wood floors throughout, upgraded kitchen and Ba, custom closets, balcony 928 sf $269,900 hopkinson house studio, high floor, southview, separate dressing area 415 sf $199,900

hopkinson house

The DorchesTer

The WarWick

1 bedroom, open chef’s kitchen, designer bathroom, wood floors, balcony, 778 sf

2 bedroom, 2 bathroom overlooking Rittenhouse Square, balcony, updated kichen and baths, 1231 sf

3 bedrooms, 3.5 baths, 270 degree city views, like-new condition, 2000 sf

$309,900

$1,050,000

condo Fees $495

$725,000

Taxes $176

condo Fees $974

Taxes: $400

Monthly cost after Tax to own $1,718

Taxes $482

Monthly Cost After Tax To Own: $4,917

Condo Fees: $1,169

Monthly cost after Tax to own $3,434

Allan Domb Real Estate 215.545.1500 • www.allandomb.com “wE COOpERATE wITh ALL REALTORS®”

Mortgage Financing available

Jennifer Stuart 484-300-0382

55

www.lanesboroughcondo.com • www.bankresidences.com • www.thewarwickcondos.com • www.parcrittenhouse.com

P H I L A D E L P H I A W E E K LY JUNE 13 - JUNE 19, 2012

WanaMaker house

$2,295,000

3 bedrooms, 3 baths, all rooms overlook rittenhouse square, 2 sets of Juliet balconies, lavish master suite, brand new 1,709 sf

The BarcLay

$2,900,000

W W W. P H I L A D E L P H I AW E E K LY. C O M

CENTER CITY LUXURY CONDOMINIUMS FOR SALE!



Philadelphia Weekly 06-13-2012