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MAY 23 - 29, 2012 • PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM

They might be creepy, but they’re VIPs of our ecosystem. And they’re dying.

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10 Save the Bats Our favorite nighttime creatures are dying at an alarming rate. Here’s how local artists are trying to help. PHILLYNOW 8 Founding Farmer Mary Seton Corboy, owner of Greensgrow Farms in Kensington, shows Philly how to be successful in urban agriculture.

ARTS & CULTURE 16 Calendar PW ’s picks for the week. FOOD 23 Have Dough, Will Travel A meal at Nomad Pizza feels as cozy as home.

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Feedback FELICIA PERRETTI

1500 Sansom St., Third Floor Philadelphia. 215.563.7400 Classified Advertising: 215.563.1234 Classified Fax: 215.563.6799 Editor in Chief Stephen H. Segal Managing Editor Anastasia Barbalios Senior Editor Nina Hoffmann Music and Food Editor Brian McManus Staff Writers Tara Murtha, Michael Alan Goldberg Art Director Drew Phillips Listings Nicole Finkbiner Contributing Writers Jeffrey Barg, Leah Blewett, Sean Burns, Bill Chenevert, Brian Freedman, Aaron Kase, Craig D. Lindsey, Randy LoBasso, Matt Petrillo, Cristina Perachio, Matt Prigge, J. Cooper Robb, Katherine Rochester, Katherine Silkaitis Contributing Photographers Jeff Fusco, Ryan Strand Greenberg, Felicia Perretti Editorial Interns Krissten Appenzeller, Brad Forbes, Pauline Hill, Ashley Kole, Julian Lopez, Taylor Patterson, Heather Taddonio

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74133.1 | Philadelphia Weekly | 05-23-2012 V3_74133.2_4.9375x5.375_4c_Ad.indd 1

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Advertising Director Amy Stoller (ext. 144) Retail Account Executives Ray Cross (ext. 164), Peter J. Eisenmann (ext. 147), Isaac Friese (ext. 159), Monica Kanninen (ext. 145), William Holton (ext. 125), David Muir (ext. 118), Deidre Simms (ext. 163) Classified Senior Account Executive John Maguire (ext. 126) Classified Account Executives Arnetta Reddy (ext. 100), Susanna Simon (ext. 134) Adult Coordinator Toni Flynn (ext. 106) Marketing Coordinator Nicole Leyrer (ext. 116) National Advertising Representative The Ruxton Group 888.2RUXTON Distribution Manager Philip E. Metz (ext. 148) Office Administrator Danielle Mitchell

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Philadelphia Weekly is published Wednesday by Review Publishing Limited Partnership. Distributed in Philadelphia, Delaware, Montgomery and Chester counties in Pennsylvania and selected other locations in southern New Jersey. Philadelphia Weekly is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. Additional copies of the current issue of the Philadelphia Weekly may be obtained only by Philadelphia Weekly’s authorized contractors or Philadelphia Weekly distributors. No person may, without prior written permission of Philadelphia Weekly, take more than one copy of each Philadelphia Weekly issue. Pennsylvania law prohibits any person from inserting printed material of any kind into a newspaper without the consent of the owner or publisher. Mail subscriptions: six months, $30; one year, $55. Views expressed are not necessarily those of the management. The publisher reserves the right to refuse any advertising. Contents copyright © 2012 by Philadelphia Weekly. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without the written permission of the publisher.

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Join the Club Regarding Leah Blewett’s review of Walnut Street Supper Club: The first time I heard about this place it sounded like it sucked, glad to hear that’s backed up. If you want Italian food and singing, go to Victor Cafe. The food is better and there’s no weird kitsch like at this place. ANONYMOUS, via philadelphiaweekly.com

Referring to the service as “overbearing,” the format as a “transport,” and the manager as a “boob,” is the quintessence of FATUITY for a reviewer writing one of the most irrationally wicked criticisms of a restaurant that I’ve ever read. Not being a persnickety connoisseur as Leah Blewett projects herself to be, I won’t say much about the cooking, quality and taste of the food, except that in three visits my companions and I have assessed it excellent. However, being a multimedia artist, I do declare [Blewett’s] eye for creativity, innovation and vision needs a magnitudinous monocle. And her writing style cries out for anger management. KETAN BEN CAESAR, Philadelphia

Fair Game Regarding Matt Prigge’s review of “Changing the Game,” a film set in North Philly: Mr. Prigge, as usual with his reviews, is way off the mark with his short-sighted and cavernous review of this film. I was there at the screening for this film at the Art Museum and saw the audience go on a complete emotional journey with this involving and engrossing tale. You would be hard-pressed to find a better, more universally satisfying, and consummate film such as this one. HOWARD JAMES, via philadelphiaweekly.com

Break of Daughn Regarding Elliott Sharp’s review of Daughn Gibson’s new album: Great review, would really like to see Daughn live. The real interesting thing about this album is how it takes something as basic and grounded as country, and brings it into the postmodern and, at times, indecipherable realm. PETER, via philadelphiaweekly.com

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Mary Seton Corboy, owner of Greensgrow Farms in Kensington, shows Philly how to be successful in urban agriculture. By Michael Alan Goldberg mgoldberg@philadelphiaweekly.com

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ow ludicrous was the notion of urban agriculture to most Philadelphia residents just 15 years ago? Mary Seton Corboy still laughs as she recalls going to the Department of Licenses & Inspections in 1997 to get approval to transform a vacant block (and former EPA Superfund site) on Cumberland Street in North Philly into a hydroponic lettuce farm. “The girl at the counter, she said to the others, ‘Come on out here—you know how I said the other day we’ve seen it all? This lady wants to grow lettuce in Kensington!’” The whole office roared as though Corboy had just dropped a Chris Rock routine on them. “They said, ‘We have no idea what the hell you’re talking about, but who cares, it’s Kensington.’ They stamped the thing and said, ‘You know what? Don’t come back.’” Today, urban farming is all the rage, and Corboy’s acre-sized, widely lauded Greensgrow Farms has become the model for how to succeed in agriculture within big-city limits. Farmer-in-chief Corboy, 54, presides over a virtually year-round, multifaceted operation that employs a staff of more than 20. There’s a thriving nursery of vegetables and flowers. A Community Supported Agriculture (CSA) program that provides regular shares of produce and other foods from Greensgrow and dozens of farms within 100 miles of Philadelphia to its 500 subscribers. And workshops open to all Philadelphians about how to grow in tiny urban spaces. During a tour of the grounds under the early morning sun, the petite Corboy— who’s all at once gruff, kind, self-deprecating, potty-mouthed and a joy to be around—explains she was as unlikely a person to become a farmer as Kensington was a place to establish a farm. “I didn’t know a damn thing about growing anything,” Corboy laughs. Raised in D.C., she came here 30 years ago to attend Villanova, eventually earning a master’s degree in political science. Her father worked for the Department of State, and for a time she thought she’d follow in his footsteps. But ever the free spirit, Corboy instead became a chef, then a ranch-hand out in Wyoming, and then, for much of the ’90s, she worked on the grounds of painter Andrew Wyeth’s Chadds Ford estate. There, she learned about agriculture but also became something of a beloved bungler—

michael alan goldberg

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Founding Farmer

Cream of the crop: Greensgrow Farms founder Mary Seton Corboy’s roots are in Kensington.

driving a riding mower into a river her first day, and another time accidentally chopping down the Wyeth family’s favorite apple tree. “They found it humorous to keep me around to see what I could fuck up next,” she says. In ’97, she and friend Tom Sereduk, a chef and grower, teamed up to start Greensgrow with the idea of cultivating and delivering high-quality lettuce for

local chefs like Marcie Turney (now of Barbuzzo), Fork’s Anne-Marie Lasher and others. With a $40,000 loan from Ben Franklin Technology Partners, the pair put down roots on a cheap parcel of land in a scarred section of Kensington once occupied by a galvanized steel plant. The neighbors were cautiously welcoming yet skeptical. Corboy, a steadfast proponent of sustainability and healthy eating, avoided

foisting her values on the locals. “You can’t tell a Philadelphian what to do,” she says. “They’re not gonna think you’re the greatest fucking thing since sliced bread because you’re growing weirdlooking lettuce in a place they wanted to be a bowling alley or a Wawa.” The first three years were tough. Lettuce season was only a few months long and profits were slim. The pair had a nasty falling-out over finances and Sereduk left (they’ve since repaired their friendship). Corboy considered closing Greensgrow, but “at that point we were known for being urban farmers, and I just couldn’t fail publicly.” Corboy saved the business by growing and selling flowers to extend the farm’s season. Greensgrow steadily expanded, but then a bigger crisis came in 2004 when Corboy was diagnosed with endometrial cancer and given only months to live. Chemotherapy and radiation saved her life; she’s been cancer-free for five years, but treatment took its toll, and these days she can’t work the soil in the hot sun quite like she used to. Usually, she’s found in the Greensgrow offices handling the business end of things, but Corboy’s still a farmer at heart—making the rounds every day, getting dirt under her nails, feeding the worms for compost. “It doesn’t get any more basic than that,” she says. “Sometimes when you’ve been in meetings all day, it’s like, lemme go outside and put my hands in the shit, literally. That still gives me a thrill.” The neighborhood’s better than it was, but Corboy still has to deal with thieves scaling the fences in the night and stealing refrigerators, snowblowers and metal pipes—not to mention drunks who’ve tried to swipe the chickens or Greensgrow’s mascot and superstar, Milkshake the pig. Corboy takes it all in stride, and notes that with Greensgrow’s sterling reputation, the city finally seems to get it. She hopes they keep that in mind when they consider what to do with the vacant factories and abandoned lots dotting the landscape just blocks from her farm. “Greensgrow is a place that was considered totally unusable, totally abandoned, and without a big capital infusion we managed to turn it into something that’s a positive for the community,” says Corboy. “There’s no reason people can’t do the same elsewhere and make this place much more livable.” n


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By Elliott Sharp

feedback@philadelphiaweekly.com

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They might be creepy, but they’re VIPs of our ecosystem. And they’re dying.

ry this: Approach a random kid and say, “Hey, kid! There’s a bat!” Most likely, the kid will run away in terror, screeching like a hyena. That’s because bats have a bad rap: It was ingrained in our brains at an early age that they are bloodsucking nocturnal bastards that violently swarm while we sleep. They are demonic beasts that wanna bite and kill. Or, at the very least, they want to get their bat-kicks by swooping down and getting stuck in our hair. Either way, they are almost always associated with the bad guys (See: Dracula), or troubled heroes whose magnanimity is often questionable (See: Batman). This is all bullshit. Bats are actually gentle creatures—aside from a few blood-

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sucking species found in Latin America—but even those want little to do with humans. Those commonly found in the United States just wanna hang in caves and in our attics during the winter, and, in the warmer months, eat insects. More importantly, bats are an integral part of our ecosystem. They are the primary predators of nighttime insects, including various kinds of pests that like to ruin crops. They consume stink bugs, spotted cucumber beetles, corn earworm moths, emerald ash borers and their larva. All of this saves Pennsylvania farmers about $74 per acre—or about $277.9 million per year. Which means fewer harmful pesticides are used in the foods we eat.

Not to mention that in just one hour, a single Little Brown Bat eats about 1,000 mosquitos. So, when you’re sitting in the park sucking down PBR tallboys and not being eaten alive by skeeters (which also transmit diseases to humans and livestock), thank the bats. But this is all changing for the worse. Large swaths of our bat population are being wiped out by White Nose Syndrome (WNS), a fungus that grows on the faces and wings of bats. Transmitted from bat-to-bat, the fungus preys on colonies during hibernation, when bats’ strength is already low, and they naturally suppress their immune systems—namely, conditions that optimize the spread of WNS. Since 2006, when scientists first

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detected WNS in North American bat populations, an estimated 5.5 million to 7 million bats have died across 20 states. According to the Austin, Texas-based bat advocacy organization Bat Conservation International (BCI), many locations are reporting 100 percent mortality rates. Two of the six impacted species—Little Brown Bats and Big Brown Bats—are the most common in the Philadelphia area. Some scientists have predicted that, in 20 years, and without drastic action, the Little Brown Bat could become extinct. Cave biologists studying cases of WNS in Pennsylvania bats claim there has already been a 90 percent to 95 percent drop in the state’s Little Brown Bat population. “If we look at this in human terms, it would be like the flu of 1918,” says Katie Gillies, a biologist with BCI, which is currently researching various biocontrols for the fungus in an attempt to prevent the disease by getting in front of its transmission process. “I think what we’ll see in the coming years is—because of this change in the bat community—a huge increase in night insects. So farmers will have to respond to that by, unfortunately, increasing the use of dangerous pesticides … and pass that cost along to the American consumer. “It’s unprecedented, it’s devastating and we’re going to see the additional negative consequences very soon.” So far, WNS has not spread to attic and roof-dwelling urban bats. According to BCI and Gary Stolz, a refuge manager at Philadelphia’s John Heinz National Wildlife Refuge, WNS has not been detected in Philadelphia. But the impact WNS has had on American bat populations has already been devastating. While it may take years for humans to experience any direct consequences, it’s only a matter of time.

The bats’ demise has caught

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the attention of some local artists, who have organized a benefit show at South Philadelphia’s Grindcore House to help projects aiming to prevent, control and research WNS. Empty Night Skies, which runs through June 13, features 69 bat-inspired pieces (the prices range from $5 to $300) made by more than 60 artists. The majority are local, though artists from five other states, and from Australia and Indonesia, submitted work. And all proceeds will help BCI’s war against WNS. Two of the benefit organizers, Michael Bukowski and Jeanne D’Angelo, first learned about WNS when they came across a bat watcher’s guide book, from which they learned that Pennsylvania’s Canoe Creek State Park was one of the best places to

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Blown Away Wind energy is sucking the life out of our bat population. s the United States looks to green technology to keep up with rising energy costs, wind energy has become a beacon of hope. Pennsylvania now ranks 15th in the nation in wind energy, and wind farms in our region have been honored by the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency. But there are problems. Even if all the wind farms in Pennsylvania were utilized, they’d still only make up for about 6 percent of needed electricity in the state. And, ironically, they also seem to be messing with nature: One unintended consequence of the installation of wind turbines has been a massive increase in bat deaths. Bats seem to be drawn to them, and scientists can’t figure out why. But they do know that the rapid decline in our bat population—which is crucial to general insect control—is really bad news. “A high [bat] fatality rate was observed at a wind farm in West Virginia in 2003 and from that point on, we began seeing high fatality rates in Pennsylvania, Tennessee, and then different rates across the country,” says Dr. Cris D. Hein, coordinator of the Bats and Wind Energy Program for Bat Conservation International. “So it became an issue that needed to be addressed quite rapidly, as wind development grew in the early 2000s.” Each year, an estimated hundreds of thousands of bats are killed after colliding with, and getting shredded by, wind turbines. Last year, Pennsylvania’s 420 turbines killed an estimate 10,000 bats, according to the state Game Commission. And that has left scientists with a conundrum: Between the repurcussions of global warming and the shrinking oil supply, going green is inevitable. So how do we stop the destruction of nature—the very nature we’re attempting to save? Hein says wind farms kill most bats during migration season, from July through the end of September—“though that does vary a little bit from site to site.” He says three species of bat are most affected: hoary bats, silver-haired bats, and red bats—all of which are migratory tree bats and play a central role in the ecosystem. Especially Pennsylvania’s. Which means their demise is really, really bad. Why, you ask? Because, if you listen to Elton John’s groovy soundtrack to 1994’s The Lion King, there’s this thing called the Circle of Life, and it exists outside the world of the animated jungle. So, the more people build on bats’ natural habitat and shred them to pieces, the more pesticides are used to keep the bugs away from our food supply. And the more our food suffers, the more expensive it becomes. Bat Conservation International, the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service, the American Wind Energy Association and the National Renewable Energy Laboratory of the U.S. Department of Energy, then, formed the Bat and Wind Energy Cooperative in 2003 to develop “solutions to minimize or, where possible, prevent mortality of bats at wind power turbines.” Especially as the Nature Conservancy predicts up to 2,900 Pennsylvania turbines by the year 2030. Hein says the organization ran into its first snag early on, when scientists realized they don’t really know why bats are attracted to wind turbines. Just that they are. “We quite often would find bat carcasses at wind sites,” says Kim Lengel, the Philadelphia Zoo’s director of conservation and general curator. “There was concern and since then they have only gotten worse as the bat population in Pennsylvania and other parts of the country decreases.” Now, BCI is doing studies to determine whether bats and wind turbines can co-exist peacefully. With that in mind, the Bat and Wind Energy Cooperative

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commissioned a two-year study in Columbia and Schuylkill counties, in Pennsylvania, randomly selected 10 turbines in the areas and fitted them with bat deterrent devices—“an acoustic device,” Hein says, “that would generate a noise that would disrupt a bat’s ability to locate the turban plate”—to see if it made a difference. In the first year of the study, 2009, researchers estimated 21 percent to 51 percent fewer bats were killed per deterrent turbine. The second year, twice as many hoary bats and four times as many silver-haired bats were killed per control turbines than at deterrent turbines during the trial period. It’s an area of research, Hein says, that’s ongoing. “Bats are in a critical situation and Pennsylvania is right in the heart of it,” says Lengel. “People understand their role in the ecosystem, and whether that translates into ‘I want to spend more money on energy,’ is a different question.” Hein says the country’s lag on going green may have an effect, too. The earth’s warming may have as of now unknown effects on the migratory policies of Pennsylvania’s bat population, too, which could change the way deterrent systems affect the creatures. “I don’t think there’s anyone saying we can’t have a wind farm,” says Lengel, “but maybe the way we manage a wind farm and maybe change the certain times of year where you use deterrent devices and … others where you put your wind farm in some kind of stasis. I don’t think it’s saying no wind farms. But it’s knowing the future impact.” —Randy LoBasso


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Art from Empty Night Skies by Jeanne D’Angelo.

>> continued from page 12 observe the nighttime mammals. There is an abandoned church there, the book claimed, that housed a colony of more than 3,000 bats. But when Bukowski and D’Angelo contacted the park with hopes of arranging a visit, a ranger informed them that, due to WNS, only about 200 bats remained. Alarmed by the discovery, they did some more research, and came across a documentary film called The Race To Save Pennsylvania’s Bats. (The film will screen at Grindcore House on June 5.) They learned that the larger bat population at Canoe Creek State Park was estimated to be 35,000 in 2008, and that experts studying the area had since determined only 2,000 to 3,000 of those bats were predicted to survive. In the film, Greg Turner of the Pennsylvania Game Commission, claims that WNS has already killed 98 percent of Pennsylvania’s cave bats. Bukowski and D’Angelo became members of BCI and began thinking of ways

they could contribute to the bats’ cause. Along with local artist Ryann Casey, who had helped organize art benefits for the ocean conservation organizations Oceana and Sea Shepherd, they developed the idea for Empty Night Skies. “Jeanne and I are really into folklore, mythology, and horror movies, which often involve bats,” says Bukowski, an illustrator who has created album art and posters for punk bands like NOFX and Poison Idea. “Since bats inspire us so much, we wanted to do something for them.” “Western culture has a negative image of bats,” adds D’Angelo, who contributed four paintings. “But that’s also why punk and metal music communities love them so much. Unfortunately, this sort of contributes to the stereotypes, and is detrimental to conservation efforts. It’s a double-edged sword, but this is a way for us to give something back to an animal we use a lot in our work, and that’s an

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>> continued on page 40


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Craig Harris

W W W. P H I L A D E L P H I AW E E K LY. C O M

Arts and Culture 5/23-5/29/12 Food Nomad Pizza feels like home.

Page 23

StAge

An ambitious but lacking production of that twisted love story, The Seagull.

Page 27

Art 5 things you probably don’t know about the Barnes.

Page 31

Screen Did anyone ask for another Men in Black?

Page 32

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MUSIc Nikka Costa’s still kickin’ it live.

Page 36

Awakened ruins

Tori Lawrence + Co.’s dance performance at the Barnes features five female bodies caked in clay. Page 21

[

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Hussian School of Art introduces a series of evening workshops specifically designed for adults needing to gain additional skills in web development and related business practices. If you work in any capacity in advertising, marketing, design, or if you just want to develop skills that will help you become more marketable, these courses will help you reach your goals. You will learn from masters and gain from their professional experience. We are offering four individual 3-day workshops. If you take all four in the series, you will receive a one-day bonus course at no additional cost. Register for all four workshops for $600 and save with only one registration fee of $25 (savings of $75 and receive one bonus workshop of your choice!) Photoshop for Web and Business Tuesdays — June 12, 19, & 26 (6 to 9PM)

Cost: $150, plus $25 registration fee. Learn to utilize Photoshop for the preparation of images as an enhancement in

the creation of business materials and for the web. Become familiar with specific guidelines for image creation and management for different media types. Introduction HTML & CSS for Design and Business* Thursdays — June 14, 21, & 28 (6 to 9PM)

Cost: $150, plus $25 registration fee. This course provides the learner with the opportunity to gain knowledge and skills in web design and visual styling by exploring the elements needed to build web pages. Intermediate and Advanced HTML & CSS for Design and Business* Tuesdays — July 10, 17, & 28 (6 to 9PM)

Cost: $150, plus $25 registration fee. This class offers an in-depth view of the use of styling elements on web pages, such as manipulating images and backgrounds, proper use of external style sheets and adding widgets or modules to web pages through different jQuery or JavaScript libraries or programs.

Square

WordPress for Design & Business* Thursdays — July 12, 19, & 26 (6 to 9PM)

Cost: $150, plus $25 registration fee. WordPress can serve different functions. It is used widely as the scaffold for a blog or to construct entire websites. The course will cover installation, styling with CSS, finding and integrating addons, posting, editing, and maintenance of our WordPress installation. * Some prerequisites may apply, please see the web page for additional details. Bonus workshops: Web Marketing Field Guide Cost: $90, plus $25 registration fee. Saturday, June 23 (10AM to 3PM)

81st

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Fine Art Show june 1-3

over 140 national & regional artists will

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Rittenhouse

Summer Adult Workshops for Web and Business

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Cost: $90, plus $25 registration fee. REGISTER NOW! For more information and to register: http://www.hussianart.edu/ adult-summer-workshops

111 S. Independence Mall East, The Bourse, Suite 300, Philadelphia, PA 19106 www.hussianart.edu • 215-574-9600 • info@hussianart.edu

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us Events Contests

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FOR THE COMPLETE LIST OF PREMIERE WEEKEND EVENTS, VISIT

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W W W. P H I L A D E L P H I AW E E K LY. C O M

dance

event

Wednesday

us

23

T

wo of the city’s top dance companies, <fidget> and anonymous bodies, are teaming up for a mini-festival that will include two weeks of performances, lectures, open rehearsals, DJs and food. (But no uppercase letters!) Starting today at noon, the intellectually invigorating <fidget>, a platform for the collaborative work of noted dancer/choreographer Megan Bridge and composer/ video artist Peter Price, is hosting a public rehearsal of their new Subject in Two Parts—a crossdisciplinary piece that combines video and dance to explore the ever-evolving nature of selfhood. A unique opportunity to engage with the artists during the creative process, the open rehearsal is part of the event’s free Pop-Up Store/Gallery. Other events at the Pop-Up Store include an open rehearsal on May 25 for anonymous bodies’ selftitled work and a brunch lecture on May 26 followed by live performances from various poets, DJs, storytellers, and comedians who, according to anonymous bodies director Kate Watson-Wallace, will all be “playing in some way with an anti-establishment take on being an American.” J. CooPer robb

Literary Death Match Ding ding ding! It’s time for the third local round of the internationally acclaimed series Literary Death Match! Hosted by Painted Bride Quarterly, this round finds four topnotch writers laced up and in the ring, where they’ll read their best work to win approval from a tough audience and points from a panel of judges. Competitors include American Poetry Review editor Elizabeth Scanlon, Barrelhouse Review co-founder Mike Ingram, Stories V! author Scott McClanahan, and Apiary Magazine editor Ras Mashramani. Philadelphia Inquirer book editor John Timpane, acclaimed photographer Zoe Strauss and yours truly will be on hand to judge the ish out of their efforts. The previous two editions sold out in advance, so get your tickets early, and let the bloodbath begin! tArA MurthA 8:15pm. $7-$10. World Cafe Live, 3025 Walnut St. 215.222.1400. worldcafelive.com

music

Brutal Truth The world is probably going to end very soon. No more work, no more taxes, no more burgers, no more nothin’. Errr, at least that’s what grindcore metal band Brutal Truth seems to think. Formed in 1990, the doomsdaypredicting four-piece consists of founding members Dan Lilker (ex-Anthrax, Nuclear Assault), Kevin Sharp (Venomous Concept), and Richard Hoak (Total Fucking Destruction). Erik Burke (ex-Lethargy) joined them in 2006 after the band’s seven-year hiatus. They released End Time last year on Relapse, which is their nastiest album since the break. With a post-apocalyptic cityscape in the background, a skeleton hand grips a globe on the album cover; inside the sleeve are 23 rotten tracks filled with hate. Satan only knows what the hell Sharp is ranting about, but his despair is believable. This is the end, beautiful friend, and Brutal Truth is its splendid soundtrack. elliott shArP 7pm. $15. With Nasum, Dropdead + Backslider. Barbary, 951 Frankford Ave. myspace.com/ thenewbarbary

Wed., May 23. Through June 3. Christ Church Neighborhood House, 20 N. American St. anonymousbodies.org

P H I L A D E L P H I A W E E K L Y M ay 2 3 - 2 9 , 2 0 1 2

thursday

comedy

24

Crotch the Throne

20

Peter Price

<fidget>

Comprised of comedic chameleon Billy Bob Thompson and his self-loathing platonic life partner Christian Alsis, the Feeko Bros have

been deemed the best sketch group in the city by their peers and were an official selection of the 2012 Chicago Sketchfest. Now back from whatever binger they were on, the two have devised a new half-hour’s worth of sketches, which they’ll be unleashing on the public this week. The bros are two-time winners of the “Dirtiest Sketch in Philadelphia Competition,” so it’s safe to say their latest material isn’t for the prim and proper. niCole Finkbiner 9pm. $10-$12. Philly Improv Theater, 407 Bainbridge St. 267.233.1556. phillyimprovtheater.com

music

Chuck Prophet and the Mission Express Chuck Prophet lives in San Francisco and Chuck Prophet loves San Francisco. Since hitting the city in 1983 to attend college, the musician has grown so smitten with S.F. that he just wrote a whole album about it. Temple Beautiful takes its title from a now-defunct punk venue that sat right by a temple run by infamous cult overlord Jim Jones, and the rest of the record is awash with references to local culture: the Halloween festivities in the Castro neighborhood that ended after a 2006 shooting; Giants legend Willie Mays; the 1978 assassination of politician/gay icon Harvey Milk; and so forth. Backed by the Mission Express, Prophet’s pleasant, not particularly idiosyncratic rock carries itself like alt-country, adding unobtrusive punk and psychedelic flourishes to twangy, misty-eyed guitars. The man also does a mean “London Calling” cover that he’ll hopefully bust out during his WCL show here. reyAn Ali 7pm. $16-$20. World Cafe Live, 3025 Walnut St. worldcafelive.com

books

Colin Powell Tonight, controversial media target, four-star general and two-time Secretary of State Colin Powell promotes his latest book, It Worked for Me: In Life and Leadership, in a conversation with Inquirer political columnist Dick Polman. Like him or not (and 76 percent of voters do), Powell is one of the most influential public figures in the United States. He covers his many life lessons in the book, along with advice on adopting sound public leadership. The event will feature a

Q&A segment in which the audience will have a chance to grill Powell on all matter of politics and on the current administration. AbigAil bruley 12:30pm. $15. Central Library, 1901 Vine St. 215.686.5322. freelibrary.org

Friday

art

25 Arts on South Philadelphia’s Magic Gardens is expanding its artistic corridor down South Street’s Headhouse District with a yearlong program that turns abandoned retail spaces into art galleries. Every fourth Friday, the abandoned spaces bring the work of local artists to life with snacks, DJs and music. This month, Charles Barbin’s solo work will be featured at 327 South Street. Barbin is one of many artists working on the Mural Arts Program’s new project highlighting Philly’s hip-hop royalty, the Roots. Local businesses are also getting in on the action; The Bikery will feature the socially conscious work of students from Congreso de Latinos Unidos’ after-school program. And Paradigm Gallery will feature the contemporary, whimsical work of street artist Nosego. Allyn gAestel 5-8pm. Free. Various locations. facebook. com/artsonsouth

music

Black Dice These Brooklyn experimentalists compose soundtracks for our post-apocalyptic future. There are no words, only the sputtering thrum of malfunctioning machinery, limping along like Battlebots disabled by their stretch in the Thunderdome. Beneath the spark-spewing sputter and static exists a heartbeat. For while Black Dice’s noisy excursions conceive a world on the edge of disintegration, intimations of structure and even musicality persist. This struggle against chaos cultivates a poetic air even while their sixth album, Mr. Impossible, continues their push into more warped electronic-driven tones, like war bleeding into space, artfully blending the destruction of Japanese noise pioneer Merzbow and the dance-floor pep of LCD Soundsystem. Chris PArker

8:30pm. $10. With Far-Out Fangtooth + Nah. Underground Arts, 1200 Callowhill St. undergroundarts.org

film

Kiss Me Deadly In director Robert Aldrich’s 1955 take on the gumshoe genre, it isn’t the crooks you need to worry about, it’s the detective. Mike Hammer


11:30pm. $5-$7. Bryn Mawr Film Institute, 824 W. Lancaster Ave. 610.527.9898. brynmawrfilm.org

event

Party for Pooches Thinking of adopting a dog? Do you like partaking in open bars and eating appetizers? You can do both at the same time at Operation Ava’s Party for Pooches. For 30 biscuits, you can imbibe for three hours, snack on finger food and watch adoptable dogs saunter up and down a runway with or without adorable hats on. Proceeds go toward helping Operation Ava rescue animals from overburdened shelters and educate children on responsible pet ownership and improving their communities. a.b. 7-10pm. $30. Shampoo Night Club, 417 N. Eighth St. 215.922.7500. operationava.org

saturday

sunday

spoken word

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dance

Soundtrack Series

Awakened Ruins

Created and hosted by writer Dana Rossi, this monthly storytelling series from New York City invites five guest writers to get on the mic to tell hilarious or heart-wrenching stories they forever associate with a song from their past. During this special one-night-only show here in Philly, you’ll hear how prolific local storyteller Hillary Rae discovered the true meaning behind the lyrics of The Vapors’ 1980 hit “Turning Japanese” and why playwright, stand-up dramedian and six-time First Person Arts Story Slam winner E. Eric Thomas can’t get enough of Patti LaBelle’s “New Attitude.” Other featured storytellers include music journalist Maria Raha and Tyler Melchior from 1812 Productions. n.F.

It’s rather fascinating that even as the Barnes Foundation celebrates the opening of its shiny new museum on the Parkway, this morning it hosts a spectral modern-dance installation that channels the strange, otherworldly beauty of decaying architecture. In the arresting 20-minute “Awakened Ruins”—created by Philly’s Tori Lawrence Co. dance company—five female bodies caked in clay, moving to a melancholy score breathed by a violinist and pianist, evoke the sadness and grandeur of spaces eroded by time, the elements and fading memories. Amid a week of events at the Barnes, Awakened Ruins promises to be one of the most poignant moments of all. miChaEl alan gOlDbErg

8pm. $10. L’Etage, 624 S. Sixth St. 215.592.0656. creperie-beaumonde.com

t h e at e r

Assymetric

3pm and 6pm. $22-$35. Adrienne Theater, 2030 Sansom St. 215.563.7500. newcitystage.org

Tuesdat

Sat., May 26, 11pm. $5. Kung Fu Necktie, 1250 N. Front St. 215.291.4919. kungfunecktie.com

music

29 OBN III’s I’d like to tell you OBN III’s “had me” when they declared on their debut 45 they’d like to “get a party together and suck our own dicks,” but I’m afraid you’d misunderstand me. So let’s just say they won me over with their irreverent charm and don’t-give-a-shit attitude. Since then, these Austin boys have released two other seven inch singles and an LP, and the whole gaggle of them shimmy, swagger, chime and party like Iggy and Chilton pounding case after case of Tecate in the desert sun. Since their records seem to leap from the turntable in drunken revelry, it’s a safe bet you might walk home stinking of stale brew and man sweat, but I’m sure you’ll get over it. TOnY rETTman 8pm. $8. With Far Out Fangtooth, True Gold + Pussy Dogs. Silk City, 435 Spring Garden St. silkcityphilly.com

Messapotamia Lefae

21

9pm. $20. Trocadero, 1003 Arch St. 215.922.6888. thetroc.com

9am. Free. Barnes Foundation, 2025 Benjamin Franklin Pkwy. barnesfoundation.org

“T

hink Ke$ha if Ke$ha would once and for all admit that she eats brains,” said Philebrity of the sass-divas Rainbeaux Bite and Brian Reignbow, who make up Rainbow Destroyer’s particular flavor of “Zombie Pop.” But rainbows are only one piece of this fabulous fundraiser for the second annual Phreak N Queer festival happening in August. The night will feature six stellar acts: “postgender character surrealist” and jaw-droppingly good contemporary dancer Messapotamia Lefae and costume extraordinaire Alaya Richmin of the Dumpsta Players will travel north from their usual Bob and Barbara’s haunt to join the Liberty City Drag Kings, PW’s Most Talented New Drag Queen Tammy Faymous, and Ms. Mary Wanna. Top it all off with dancing to tunes spun by DJ’s Lucky 7 (700 Club, Trestle Inn) and Evil V (Tabu, Terri’s) and you may never leave. Emma EisEnbErg

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Now celebrating 10 years of classic cabaret/ burlesque-style entertainment, the babes and boys of Philly’s award-winning neoburlesque show will soon be heading to Las Vegas to compete for “Best Troupe” at the 2012 Burlesque Hall of Fame. But before they go, audiences will have a chance to wish them all broken legs and popped pasties as they perform their steamy new show at the Troc. As the beautiful dancers get you feeling hot and bothered with their twirling tassels and titillating dances, house band the Striptease Orchestra will have you bumping and grinding in your chair—while hilarious hosts Joey Martini and Count Scotchula may just have you falling out of it. n.F.

New City Stage Company concludes its season this week with two productions at the Adrienne Theater. At 3 p.m., NCSC presents the world premiere of award-winning playwright Mac Rogers’ strangely compelling Asymmetric. A unique look at the war on terror featuring a killer cast, the play focuses on a CIA agent interrogating a traitor who’s suspected of leaking sensitive information to terrorist groups intent on America’s destruction. At 6 p.m., catch Sam Shepard’s and Joseph Chaikin’s stream of consciousness one-acts Savage/Love and Tongues, which the company mounted to great acclaim at the 2011 Philly Fringe. To save some cash, order your tickets for Asymmetric online using the code “Doubleheader” and for every Asymmetric ticket you purchase you’ll get a complimentary ticket for any performance of Savage/Love and Tongues. J.C.r.

Peek-A-Boo Revue

monday

28

event

26

Phreak N Queer

W W W. P H I L A D E L P H I AW E E K LY. C O M

raYmOnD simOn

lgbt

This week, Hillary Ray discusses the true meaning behind the Vapors’ 1980 hit “Turning Japanese” at Soundtrack Series.

C o u r t e sy o f f i r st P e r s o n A r ts

is a macho peacock draped in tailored suits who zips around L.A. in his Jaguar, but these outward signs of success can’t mask his true nature: He’s an amoral, sadistic brute. When a chance encounter plunges the unscrupulous investigator into the midst of a scheme he barely understands, he clings to it tenaciously, angling for a big score. Blindly pursuing a mysterious whatsit, he prowls a city filled with losers on the grift, but off-kilter camera angles and looming shadows undermine his bravado at every step. Although Hammer knows how to use his fists, they’re no match for feminine wiles. From the hysterical hitchhiker he picks up, to his carnally confident assistant Velda, Hammer is less a lothario than he is a patsy. Carver is his undoing. Her pixie haircut and lost-girl voice trick him into believing she needs protecting. But she’s greedy, and she knows how to use a gun.


W W W. P H I L A D E L P H I AW E E K LY. C O M

1415 Locust St 215-985-1163 Kitchen open til’ 1am

Game Day

$2 Bud • Bud Lite pBr pints $6 BuD lite pitcher $5 marGerhita pizzas home oF the “Dirty BurGer” ™

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Failure to Launch

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Directors have long struggled with portraying The Seagull as a tragicomedy.

June 4th, 5th, 6th

By J. Cooper Robb jrobb@philadelphiaweekly.com s h aw n m ay

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None of the characters is content, the most common malady being unrequited love. Medvedenko is in love with Masha, who is in love with Konstantin, who is in love with Nina, who is in love with Trigorin. Even the few who aren’t suffering from a broken heart are far from satisfied with their lives. Arkadina is addicted to the adoration and applause that her worshipful fans heap on her and Dardaris is superb at communicating the actress’s desperate need of attention. However, Dardaris is most affecting when we get a glimpse of Arkadina’s maternal side as when she lovingly bandages her son’s self-inflicted head wound. In these moments (many of which are provided by Bauer), Quintessence’s Seagull is both tender and sweetly moving. When the actors try to do too much (as in the final face-off between Nina and Kostya), the production feels forced and inauthentic. The stand-out in the cast is Bauer, who draws on his more than 30 years of experience as an actor and director to deliver a wonderfully sensitive portrayal of Sorin. He manages to shine on stage without ever eclipsing his fellow actors. Sorin’s compassion for his young nephew works to make Arkadina appear even more self-centered. Similarly, Bauer’s depiction of Sorin’s physical frailties highlights the callousness and cynicism of Zielinski’s disinterested doctor. n

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Through June 3. $10-$30. Sedgwick Theater, 7137 Germantown Ave. 877.238.5596. quintessencetheatre.org

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P H I L A D E L P H I A W E E K L Y M AY 2 3 - 2 9 , 2 0 1 2

he Quintessence Theatre Group concludes its season with an inconsistent production of Anton Chekhov’s landmark work The Seagull. The first of Chekhov’s four plays, The Seagull ’s production at the Moscow Art Theater ushered in a new era in theater history. Unlike the melodramas that have traditionally dominated Russian theater, The Seagull is a tragicomedy. It was so radical that it demanded an entirely new approach to acting. Instead of the exaggerated gestures and emotions favored by actors in melodrama, MAT co-founder Konstantin Stanislavski (who directed the company’s staging of The Seagull ) created a technique for a more realistic style of acting that remains the staple of most theater today. Although Stanislavski’s production marked the birth of modern theater, Chekhov felt that the director neglected the play’s humor (a charge Chekhov continued to make with each subsequent production of his work by Stanislavski). If Chekhov’s assessment was correct and Stanislavski underemphasized play’s comedy, he isn’t the only one. Since the night Seagull opened at MAT in 1898 (the show’s world premiere two years earlier in St. Petersburg was an unmitigated disaster), directors have struggled to marry the play’s humor with the overwhelming sense of futility as the characters repeatedly fail to fulfill their deepest desires. Director Alex Burns’ production succeeds in striking the right tone, particularly in conveying the play’s cynical sense of humor (thanks to the performance of William Zielinski as the town doctor). The problems with Quintessence’s production are Burns’ pacing (which at times is achingly slow) and the uneven cast, whose performances range from spectacular to one-dimensional. The story takes place on the country estate belonging to retired lawyer Sorin (Robert Bauer in a sensational performance). It’s summertime and Sorin is being visited by his sister Arkadina (Janis Dardaris), a famous stage actress who is as self-obsessed as she is talented. Accompanying Arkadina is her noticeably younger boyfriend Trigorin (a bland Josh Carpenter), a successful writer consumed with his work. Joining them is Arkadina’s unhappy, idealistic son Konstantin (Jamison Foreman); the local schoolteacher Medvedenko (Alexander Harvey in the production’s most touching performance); the would-be actress and object of Konstantin’s affections, Nina (Rachel Brodeur); the obnoxious estate manager Shamrayev (Randall McCann); his lovesick daughter Masha (Julia Frey); and her mother Polina (the reliably excellent Marcia Saunders).

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5 Things I Learned at the Barnes Foundation Architectural eyebrows are out; outsourcing is in. By Katherine Rochester krochester@philadelphiaweekly.com

1

Albert Coombs Barnes was a man of letters—the short, cheeky kind that you might scrawl as a practical joke or mail to an errant dignitary. Which is exactly what he did. The inaugural special exhibition, Ensemble: Albert C. Barnes and the Experiment in Education, displays an impressive selection of Barnes’ personal correspondence, written—with especial relish, it seems—to hoity toity types who presumed to set up viewing appointments to see the art at the Merion location. He roundly denied them (but welcomed bluecollar workers and the underprivileged). His excuses were impressively impertinent: In one letter, he regretfully declined an eager businessman because he was otherwise engaged in attempting to break the world record in goldfish eating. In another, he rebuffed a wealthy patron by claiming he was attending to the urgent matter of listening to the birds sing. Barnes regularly took on other personas in his letters, including various lowly secretaries of “Dr. C. Barnes,” and even the canine voice of Fidèle, his dog. Lesson: Flipping some rich asshole the bird is best done by pretending to be a dog.

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3

Like the taught arch of a perfectly plucked brow, moldings (that’s architect-speak for a decorative border at the top of a wall) are essential for making whatever lies beneath them pop. But they haven’t been in architectural vogue for quite some time. “We’re modernists and molding isn’t our language,” says Billie Tsien, principle architect at Tod Williams Billie Tsien Architects, the firm that designed the new Barnes building. So the architects were delighted to find out that when it came to distaste for molding, they were in good company. Matisse didn’t like the molding beneath his site-specific mural at the Barnes, either. So, in an act of charitable reparation, the architects were only too happy to update its design. “Learning molding was like learning Portuguese,” jokes Tsien, who ultimately created a design based on African textiles of the sort that Matisse had avidly collected. “These defining lines give the art ensembles their integrity and definition. Getting rid of the molding would have been like shaving off your eyebrows.” Lesson: As in architecture, so in life: Don’t shave your eyebrows. But you probably already knew that.

4

ground, a rain tank releases water into the city storm system at a slow rate, and a cistern collects water and pumps it back through an on-site irrigation system. The architects begged for a solar parking lot canopy to reduce irradiated heat from the black asphalt, but apparently, $150 million can only buy you so much: “We lost some battles,” says Olin, “but in the end, we won the war.” Lesson: Local may be practical, but when it comes to LEED certification, the grass is always greener on the outsourced side.

5

A successful $200 million capital campaign, several denied motions to challenge the court’s holding and reopen litigation, a membership roster that has now swelled past 20,000, and a stunning 93,000-square-foot building later, and you’d assume that the battle to keep the Barnes in Merion was, well, lost. Tell that to the three protesters from Friends of the Barnes Foundation who rallied outside the press preview last week. “You can’t escape us!” they taunted me good-naturedly, forking over a packet of anti-Barnes in the Parkway literature. One sheet featured a cartoon of Barnes Foundation Executive Director and President Derek Gillman

oinking like a pig on all fours while snuffling up city and corporate money from the “Barnes Trough.” Less tongue-in-cheek was a succinct list of the Friends’ grievances and a promise that “the work of the Friends to educate the public about the history of this institution and struggle over its fate will continue.” But if the paltry group of protesters outside the press preview was any indication, the fight will now continue more out of loyalty than urgency. Although the Barnes staff slyly ushered the press from New York through a back entrance in order to skirt the Friends, a few local reporters noticed the modest rally. “The protesters keep dwindling,” remarked a man from a suburban paper. “They should!” his colleague chimed in. It seemed to be the prevailing opinion, as those who couldn’t care less about local politics queued up for a champagne tasting. Lesson: Do not go silently into that good night. And get a good political caricaturist. n

Barnes Foundation Memorial Weekend Celebration on the Parkway, Sat., May 26Mon., May 28. Various times. Free, but must reserve tickets in advance. 2025 Benjamin Franklin Parkway. barnesfoundation.org

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Does pursuing a LEED platinum certification mean lots of locally sourced materials? Not quite. “I often get asked if the plants are local,” says Laurie Olin, Partner at OLIN and landscape architect of the new Barnes campus. “In fact, very few are.” Like the paintings on the walls and the plants in the original arboretum in Merion, architectural and landscape elements at the new Barnes campus were collected from around the world. Red Japanese maples line the main walkway, Orsini tile from Italy glints on the outdoor fireplace, Ipe teak from Brazil covers portions of the floor and stairways, and limestone quarried in the Negev dessert in Israel wraps the building in a rich, golden skin. So if they’ve so lavishly outsourced, where do they score those environmental brownie points? A lot of it has to do with water reuse. An infiltration basin beneath the parking lot allows storm water to seep back into the

If these walls could talk: Room 6 of the new Barnes Foundation building on the Parkway.

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While the Barnes holds one of the premiere collections of impressionist and post-impressionist paintings in the world, you may start to see some contemporary art in the galleries as well. That’s because in order to have amassed 181 Renoirs, 69 Cezannes, 59 Matisses and 46 Picassos Barnes had to buy them young and he had to buy them fresh. “Barnes was committed to contemporary art and we plan to show it here,” vows Judith F. Dolkart, deputy director of Art and Archival Collections and chief curator of the Gund family. But new art won’t be joining the original masterpieces where they currently hang. In acquiescence to the Indenture of Trust, which stipulates that “all paintings shall remain in exactly the places they are at the time of the death of the Donor and his said wife,” the size and layout of the original galleries from Merion have been meticulously replicated and painstakingly reproduced to reflect the display at the time of Barnes’ death in 1951. However, with the addition of

a 4,300-square-foot special exhibition space, Dolkart sees the opportunity to revive Barnes’ flair for the artistically outré: “In presenting contemporary art, we are honoring Barnes’ vision.” Lesson: Don’t be a philistine. What might look like a travesty today may later end up in a $200 million shrine.

to m c r a n e / t h e b a r n e s Fo u n dat i o n

S

ince Philly has been saturated with Barnes controversy media coverage and because the Barnes Foundation is primarily an educational institution, here are five things you may not know but that I learned at the museum’s grand opening last week:

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Six Pack Six Songs More Famous Than the Movies From Which They Originate By Matt Prigge mprigge@philadelphiaweekly.com “Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah,” Song of the South (1946): No doubt most people at Disney would like to send every copy of this splashy musical about a merry slave plantation into the sun. Unfortunately, it contains one of the company’s most beloved songs. Whoops! Disney did rerelease its most notorious film in theaters in 1986 (in part to promote the upcoming Splash Mountain ride), and it’s available on home video just about everywhere except for America. “Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door,” Pat Garrett and Billy the Kid (1973): No one saw Sam Peckinpah’s devastatingly grueling anti-Western when it was released (in gouged form), but it wasn’t completely unloved. Star Kris Kristofferson was nominated for a BAFTA while a Grammy nomination went to its ethereal soundtrack, done by co-star Bob Dylan. His work, including one of his most beautiful tunes, atones for his “acting,” his appearance being the producers’ idea, not Peckinpah’s, who was so divorced from popular music he assumed Dylan’s last name was spelled “Dillon.” “You Light Up My Life,” You Light Up My Life (1977): Wait, there’s a movie, too? And one possibly even more gross than the song it birthed? “Against All Odds,” Against All Odds (1984): Taylor Hackford’s loose reworking of Out of the Past did alright at the box office. But it didn’t do nearly as well as its soundtrack, which features if not the greatest breakup song then the greatest got-dumped song, every line a dagger in your broken heart. It began Phil Collins’ strange trend of writing monster hits for not-very-successful movies: Next came “Separate Lives” for White Nights (also by Hackford) and his cover of “Groovy Kind of Love” for Buster, which would have been his acting breakthrough had anyone seen it.

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“I Just Called to Say I Love You,” The Woman in Red (1984): Gene Wilder’s rom-com about him macking on Kelly LeBrook would likely be lost to history had it not had the smarts to contain a rare bum Stevie Wonder hit. “Tears in Heaven,” Rush (1991): What’s sadder? A movie about narcs (Jennifer Jason Leigh and Jason Patric) becoming junkies? Or a song about Eric Clapton’s dead 4-year old son? Humanity decided only one could be a sensation. n

Rush

Men at Work

Will Smith reprises his role as Agent J in the unasked-for three-quel to Men in Black. By Sean Burns sburns@philadelphiaweekly.com

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decade-late three-quel anticipated by nobody, this lumbering $215 million behemoth finally stumbles into theaters—punch-drunk, top-heavy, and sweating so hard it’s all but barren of wit. I doubt many would make a case for 1997’s Men in Black as a great picture of our time, but I seem to recall it being comparatively light on its feet, and smart enough to get in and out at around 90 minutes. Cleverly cashing in on the rapport between Will Smith’s overly ingratiating schtick and Tommy Lee Jones’ deadpan belligerence, it was the kind of picture you watched once, and enjoyed mainly because it didn’t insult your intelligence and the movie theater had air conditioning. The gimmick, adapted from an old, out-of-print comic book by Lowell Cunningham, found these two mismatched partners working to keep tabs on a flood of intergalactic illegal immigrants swarming their way around New York City with a lot of Rick Baker makeup effects and moderately amusing bulging eyeballs and lizard tails. Cute idea, seeing N.Y.C. as the ultimate cosmic melting pot, and as far as such things go it was fine, I guess. (Again, I haven’t seen it since 1997, when Batman and Robin was playing across the multiplex hall and everything else looked wonderful in comparison.) So why Men in Black III, and why now? The first bloated, instantly forgettable sequel earned few fans a decade ago, and the God’s honest truth is that I had to go look up my old review just to remember what it was about. But as Will Smith continues his sad journey from “promising young movie star” to “CEO Of Smith Family Dynasty Entertainment Properties,” such tried and true commodities are apparently inevitable, no matter how tardy. He now spends his days fashioning his children into box-office juggernauts, turning down risky projects. Despite his maddeningly ubiquitous celebrity, Will Smith hasn’t appeared in a movie in a full four years. Men in Black III must have seemed like a sure thing on paper. It started shooting without a screenplay in September 2010. And despite many stops, starts and gossip items, we’re finally seeing the result. Cannily accounting for the monumental indifference of his co-star,

Special K: Josh Brolin (left) as the a young agent is eerily awesome. Will Smith is, well, there,

Tommy Lee Jones, Smith himself reportedly came up with the idea for this installment. After an outbreak at the lunar prison holding facility, Jones’ Agent K is murdered by some sort of slobbering reptile creature played to little comic effect by Fight of the Conchord ’s Jermaine Clement, in a role Sacha Baron Cohen turned down. (Yeah, the part is so awful somebody actually chose to go make The Dictator instead.) Only catch is, this particular rascal can time-travel, so Jones was actually murdered in 1969, forever altering the future. Forget for a moment that Agent K’s premature death would result in Will Smith never becoming an agent in the first place, because Men in Black III shrugs off such paradoxes with the same casual nonchalance with which it disposes of characters like Rip Torn’s Agent Zed, here granted a dry-eyed funeral shortly after the opening credits. Because this is a summer blockbuster in our day and age, Smith’s Agent J is now saddled with a ton of daddy issues that never appeared before in the series, lamenting his absent father with maudlin qualities odd for such slight comedy. Amusingly enough, Tommy Lee Jones could care less. He’s barely in the picture. Shot mostly from behind, so I assume his stand-in could take over the bulk of Agent K’s onscreen activity, this gruff national treasure burps a couple of priceless one-liners and politely sneaks out of camera range to go play golf or something. Which leaves Will Smith floundering

Men in Black III Grade: D+ Director: Barry Sonnenfeld Starring: Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones and Josh Brolin around 1969, having mysteriously discovered a way to time-travel himself in order to prevent his partner’s murder. The movie tantalizingly teases a road not taken when someone casually mentions, “this wasn’t exactly a good time for your people.” Are we exploring social issues? No, forget it. We’re instead stuck with a slog of awfully dated special effects and inaccurate period gags. There’s an eerily awesome performance by Josh Brolin as the young Agent K, aping his No Country for Old Men co-star Tommy Lee’s testy bleats, complete with prosthetic ears. A Serious Man’s Michael Stuhlbarg tags along as some sort of alien who claims to be able to see all possible futures, but his main job is to talk our characters out of making logical decisions because the army of seven uncredited screenwriters can’t otherwise unpaint the corners they’re stuck in. By the end I almost felt bad for Smith, who invests so many dewyeyed close-ups into the misty-eyed third act, I presume none of the yesmen in his entourage stopped and did enough math to point out that all these sappy, late-game twists would make his character at least 50 years old. n


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La Femme Nikka Still crazysexycool after all these years, soul singer Nikka Costa heads out on her own. By Craig D. Lindsey feedback@philadelphiaweekly.com

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ust because Nikka Costa has a YouTube channel called “Nikka’s Box” doesn’t mean she prefers to be in one. The former international child pop star-turned-wild-haired, funk/soul chanteuse (daughter of late producer/ Frank Sinatra arranger Don Costa) launched her viral-video page early last year, before she released her EP PRO*WHOA in June. Already 60 videos deep, the channel sees Costa doing live performances, either performing her own songs or covers that are often requested from fans. Occasionally, she’s accompanied by special guests like Raphael Saadiq, Doyle Bramhall II and Adam Lambert. “It’s just another platform,” says Costa, on the phone from her Los Angeles homebase. “It’s another kind of way to, you know, express myself when I don’t have a whole lot of touring or anything going on. And it’s a good opportunity to kind of get with other artists and do something that’s not a lot of pressure and can be a little bit of a hang. And I hope to do more of that kind of thing.” The channel is also a chance for Costa to do some silly things, like do a rap version of the contemporary bedtime story Go the F**k to Sleep with sitcom vet Jenna Elfman or engage in a beat-box battle that’ll have you wondering if she does have some verbal sound-effects skills. (“I’ll never tell.”) Perhaps her silliest episode was also one that prompted YouTube to restrict it for general audiences due to adult content. It was a minute-long clip that had Costa promoting PRO*WHOA topless, a black bar with her EP’s title covering her naughty bits. “What’s a girl gotta do to get her music heard,” she says in the clip. “Honestly, that episode was really kind of an afterthought,” she explains. “It was literally seven minutes—we filmed it and it was over. And it wasn’t really thought of very much because it doesn’t really show anything and it’s not really a big deal. But, you know, in America, it became a big deal. We got censored and it was all in the papers and everything. Hopefully, people come back for, you know, the kind of funny episodes and the ones where we sing songs and whatever the channel provides.” These days, the 39-year-old Costa knows she needs to do whatever she can to get folks’ attention. The rock/ electropop-fueled PRO*WHOA was released independently, on her own label, Go Funk Yourself, which she runs with her husband/longtime producer Justin Stanley. After spending most of the last decade under the thumb of

At any Costa: Singer Nikka Costa remains independent.

major label Virgin, which released her albums Everybody Got Their Something (a masterpiece—just sayin’!) in 2001 and Can’tneveverdidnothin’ in 2005, Costa prefers to release music on her own, without being scrutinized by label execs. “I think, as artists, we should be left alone to an extent to explore and to see what will come of being left alone,” she says. “I think that there are so many artists that are kind of steered by these huge corporations and what direction they should go, what kind of song they should sing. I mean, it can get really down to the minutia, where you end up not even being an artist but just being kind of a puppet. And I think that’s why music—popular music—is so similar to each other and there’s not a lot of variety. “I was always arguing and always coming up against obstacles,” she continues, “and so, creatively, being independent is a far better kind of choice/ option for me, because it’s really—you can just do it, you know?” However, being your own boss in the music industry can have its limitations. Without a major label backing you, you don’t have the tools—a marketing and promotional team, for instance—needed to get your music out there. “It’s a very difficult situation, because it takes a lot of money to get things out there, and, you know, I’m not a millionaire,” says Costa. Not to mention that doing things on your own can leave you quite tired. This explains why she hasn’t done a follow-up to PRO*WHOA, which was supposed to be one of many EPs she would drop over time. “That was the plan,” she says, laughing. “We had a lot going on. I had a lot going on. We were touring and I was doing ‘the Box.’ And, basically, I just didn’t find enough time to kind of really

sit down and get another EP together in time to fulfill that dream. I’m also a mom, so time is super-precious. “Obviously, I have songs in the can that exist that I could’ve easily slapped on an EP and said, ‘OK, here’s the next one.’ But, unless it feels really, really right to me, I tend to prefer not to put anything out until I’m really super-happy with it.” Nevertheless, she continues to go on tour and wow people with her live shows (although she says she’ll take some time off after this lap of shows). She also has famous friends who often call on her for her pipes. When he went out on tour last year, Prince often hollered at Costa to join him onstage, doing tunes like Led Zeppelin’s “Whole Lotta Love.” “We’ve been friends for over 10 years now,” she says. “So, every now and again, I’ll get a phone call, you know—‘Come up and sing with me’ or ‘Open up for me’ or something like that. So, it’s always a treat and an honor. We always try to, you know, move things around to be able to share the stage with him.” So, with friends in high places, her enthusiastic work ethic and an easily addictive YouTube channel, Costa is happy to have, if not a huge fanbase, a dedicated one. “I’m just doing what I can and getting it out there as far as I can,” she says. “And, hopefully, the fans search it out to an extent. And, luckily, I have a reputation for making great records and for having a great live show. I feel like I work really hard to do those two things so that when people do stumble across me, new or old fans, they’re kind of surprised by the quality and excited by the quality— and, then, they tell their friends.” n Nikka Costa performs Fri., May 25, 8pm. $21.50. With Anya Marina. Sellersville Theater, 24 W. Temple Ave., Sellersville. 215.257. 5808. st94.com


Cape May Music Festival

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Folk/Country/Blues/Pop Cape May Convention Hall Beach Avenue at Stockton

Cape May Convention Hall, Beach Avenue at Stockton, General Admission $25; Senior $20; Student $10. Purchase tickets online at capemayconventionhall.org or at the box office or call 609-884-9563 or 855-708-9699

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Good at any evening Cape May Music Festival concert. Advance reservations suggested. If ordering tickets by phone, mention PNC Arts Alive. Discount good on first ticket only; cannot be combined with any other discount or offer. Not retroactive. Subject to availability. Good through June 14, 2012. PW

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Bands of Brothers There are cult bands, and then there are bands that are actual cults. By Bryan Bierman feedback@philadelphiaweekly.com When a band has a small, yet very devoted fan base, some people—mainly music writers—describe them as having a “cult following.” Presumably, this analogy upset actual cults in the late ’60s, as a few then began flirting with the music biz (Charles Manson, the Process Church of the Final Judgment, Peoples Temple) before realizing they should stick to their crazy day jobs. Whether or not it was a conscious decision, over the years a handful of groups have highlighted the similarities between rock bands and cults. In advance of Friday’s Polyphonic Spree show at the TLA, here are a few artists who truly blur the line. The Polyphonic Spree The most famous “cult” band around, this choir-pop act features almost two dozen members, including “leader” Tim DeLaughter. Although New Jersey’s Danielson Famile did it first, the Spree have adopted the matching robes synonymous of religious groups, consider themselves a “family,” and are always happy. Sunshine-y pop tunes? Identical garments? An appearance on Scrubs ? Definitely a cult. Captain Beefheart & the Magic Band During the year leading up to the recording of their überunique and essential Trout Mask Replica album in 1969, the Magic Band lived on a commune in California, where they would rehearse for 14 hours a day with barely any food or contact with the outside world. Captain Beefheart, aka Don Van Vliet, would routinely attack the band members mentally and physically until they obeyed his commands. Oddly enough, it worked—the group was so tight that they recorded most of the double album, which would go on to be viewed by most as an avant-garde masterpiece, in a little over six hours. So if you look past the deep emotional scars, it was worth it.

By Bill Chenevert

Beach House

Bloom (Sub Pop) Sounds Like: Relent, because it’s a lovely record of deliriously pretty dream rock, full of lush sadness and celebratory beauty, sublimely blended over 10 blooming tracks. Free Association: Worth investing in so you can play it loud and in full (over and over). For Fans Of: Mazzy Star x Galaxie 500, lady Beach Boys + Yo La Tengo, dreams.

Rye Rye

Go! Pop! Bang! (Interscope) Sounds Like: Super-fly and hype hiphop from the Baltimore emcee who’s Diplo and M.I.A.-approved, her debut is more bangin’ than anyone thought it would be. Free Association: The perfect soundtrack for booty poppin’ and absurd dance moves. For Fans Of: Lady Sovereign x Amanda Blank, Santi + Missy x Dizzee Rascal, summer.

Heart on: The cult of Polyphonic Spree.

American alternative to the hippie-ridden ’60s, the group was backed by the ultra right-wing group Moral ReArmament (which purportedly had Nazi ties), as well as giant corporations such as Exxon, Enron and Halliburton, which benefitted from their “everything is perfectly fine” message. According to the 2009 documentary Smile ‘Til It Hurts, the rotating casts of young members (who pay a large tuition to join) were not only barred from sitting next to the opposite sex, but were persuaded into joining arranged marriages that controlled the number of children they could have. In other words: Cult! The Ramones Think about it: They looked the same, their names were the same, even a lot of the songs were the same. Any new recruits were forced to obey these rules, brainwashed by the chants of “Gabba Gabba Hey!” “I Wanna Be Sedated” is a song about accepting, zombie-like, these rules. Honest. Polyphonic Spree perform Fri., May 25. 7pm. $18. With Sweet Lee Morrow. TLA, 334 South St. 215.922.1011. tlaphilly.com.

Critic’s Pick Simian Mobile Disco Simian Mobile Disco is an unpredictable and often totally absurd project, and that’s very much a marvelous thing. The London-based team of James Ford and Jas Shaw specialize in lively electro-house that’s the aural equivalent of consuming a bag of Skittles dunked in cayenne pepper. That said, SMD’s music isn’t the sole reason they’re worth your attention. The duo’s videos are even brassier and more mind-bending than their sonics. The geometry-heavy clip for “Cerulean” off the new Unpatterns looks like the result of an MP3 program visualization screen going sentient and sucking down a handful of LSD cubes. Looking into SMD’s past videography, the design porn of “Audacity of Huge” is worth an immediate YouTubing if only to see how it brings word-salad lyrics such as “Tammy Faye milk money butterscotch” and “honeydipped tennis wear just for play” to brightly colored life. (Reyan Ali) Thurs., May 24, 10pm. $10. Voyeur Night Club, 1221 Saint James St. voyeurnightclub.com

Best Coast

The Only Place (Mexican Summer) Sounds Like: Bethany Cosentino is a polarizing woman; love her stoner, cat-loving ways or hate her sing-songy California fuzz, here’s fodder for the lovers—it’s not bad. Free Association: More subtle and complex than Crazy For You, which should be easy. For Fans Of: Dum Dum Girls x Vivian Girls + Girls, Wavves + surf rock + girl groups.

Hot Water Music

Exister (Rise Records) Sounds Like: The Gainseville postpunks’ eighth and first in eight years is as solid as the rest of their discography; classically angry, loud, cathartic and a little screamy. Free Association: They are the bridge between simply loud rock and balls-out punk. For Fans Of: Leatherface/Fugazi + Husker Du, Jawbreaker x Against Me!, volume.

Killer Mike

R.A.P. Music (Williams Street) Sounds Like: The sickly produced (by El-P) thuggish, ruggish return to prominence for the OutKast associate is harder and sicker than anyone ever dreamed he could be. Free Association: Does everyone else love 2003’s “A.D.I.D.A.S” as much as we do? For Fans Of: Goodie Mob/Twista/Ludacris + Redman, Clipse with Big Boi, ATL.

Adam Lambert

Trespassing (RCA) Sounds Like: Idol ’s most notorious second place loser’s second LP is more club-friendly and house-flavored than before. Free Association: It’ll be fun to see what kind of record he puts out 10 years from now. For Fans Of: Skrillex x Liberace, Robert Plant/Freddie Mercury x Kelly Clarkson, gays.

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Up With People Since forming in 1965, teenage song-and-dance group Up With People have spread their squeaky clean pep all over the world, performing for popes, presidents and at Super Bowls. Designed to provide an upstanding, red-blooded

Album reviews in 30 seconds or less

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Empty Night Skies runs through June 13 at Grindcore House. 1515 S. Fourth St. 215.839.3333. grindcorehouse.com

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>> continued from page 14 important part of our lives.” One of Bukowski’s vivid illustrations riffs on an Aztec legend in which Camazotz, the so-called Death Bat, engages in a multi-decapitation and reincarnation battle with the “Hero Twins.” While a beer-bellied Camazotz mockingly looms over the scene, one muscular brother blows his blowgun, and the other lifts his own chopped head from his shoulders. Inspired by Eastern European folklore, in one of her pieces D’Angelo painted a giant skull perched in a graveyard with a bat—meant to represent the soul—soaring from the skull’s eye socket into the night. With sculptures, screenprints, drawings, a bat-crowned pair of 3-D glasses by David Brooks called “Bat Goggles” and two bat action-figure pieces by Allen Brown called “Battle Bats,” the exhibit is incredibly diverse. About 50 pieces sold on the opening night, and the benefit has already raised thousands of dollars for BCI. “It’s the most successful exhibit we’ve had so far,” says Grindcore House co-owner Mike Barone. “Hopefully, we’ve all helped a significant number of people grasp the magnitude of the disease and its impact.” ■

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CONFIDENTIAL TO CANADIAN HERITAGE MINISTER JAMES MOORE AND CONSERVATIVE MP DEAN DEL MASTRO: Please shut down that sex-ed exhibit (Sex: A Tell-All Exhibition) at the Canada Science and Technology Museum in Ottawa! I don’t want Canadian kids to get “reliable answers to their [sex] questions” from museums. I want Canadian kids to get drunkenly dashed-off answers to their sex questions from gay sex-advice columnists. And so, it seems, do you two. I sure do appreciate your support, guys. Now go shut that fucker down. Thanks! n

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I’m a 16-year-old bisexual guy. I have been in a long-distance relationship since September. My girlfriend “Selena” and I have a good relationship, but, both of us being bisexual, we have discussed the possibility of having relationships with same-gender partners on the side. I recently attended a LGBTQ prom. There, I met a 17-year-old guy who I found somewhat attractive. I gave him my number, and he has been texting me, which makes me feel both uncomfortable and enthralled. Some of the texts that “Dave” has sent me

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1. Openly, honestly, directly and without hesitation. It might help if you remind yourself—again and again—that while the stakes may feel high right now, NAI, they’re actually quite low. It sounds like your relationship with Selena has allowed you to explore the emotional and social aspects of dating without any sexual pressures or expectations. And that’s been good for you, NAI, and you’ll be bummed when your relationship with Selena ends. But you shouldn’t be too bummed: There just aren’t a lot of adults out there who are still dating—or who are married to—the folks they were dating in high school. (There are some, of course, just as there are some 90-year-old pack-aday smokers.) So your relationship with Selena is most likely destined to end at some point. And if a conversation about Dave prompts Selena to end things, well, your relationship with Selena was destined to end at some point, right? Tell her this: “I met this boy, and he’s been texting me. I don’t want to date him—I’m only somewhat attracted to him—but I’m enjoying the attention. But we should talk about that samegender-partners-on-the-side arrangement. Not because I’m going to jump into bed with this guy. But we should talk about this stuff before I meet a boy I do want to have sex with.” If Selena flips and dumps you, then she wasn’t open to you exploring your same-sex attractions. Which means your relationship with her wasn’t just destined to end, NAI, it needed to end. 2. Don’t assume that Dave couldn’t possibly be interested in a friendship because he’s sexually active. Lots of sexually active people have friends, and most of us are capable of forming new friendships. If a friendship is “too much to ask” of Dave—if he’s only interested in your dick—he’ll let you know by disappearing on you or by accepting your friendship under false pretenses. If he disappears on you, well, he wasn’t a very nice guy and you didn’t lose much. If he accepts your friendship only so he can continue pressuring you for sex, well, then he’s not a very nice guy and you won’t lose much when you disappear on him. But he might be up for a friendship. Lots of sexually active people are. So ask.

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There’s a movement in sex-ed circles to replace the old opt-out consent mantra, “No means no,” with a new, improved opt-in consent mantra, “Yes means yes.” YMY says it’s not good enough to wait for the other person to stop the action with a “no,” which many people—particularly young people, particularly young girl people—have a hard time doing. You have to get a “yes.” But the kind of person who doesn’t give you a chance to say “no,” GOY, is unlikely to solicit a “yes.” Which is why we all need to advocate for ourselves in the moment. And you failed to do that, GOY—you failed to advocate for yourself in the moment. I don’t say that to make you feel bad or to shift the blame onto your shoulders, GOY, I say it because we’ve all been there. Most confident, sexually active adults can point to an early experience that went too far, too fast, a sexual encounter that left us feeling the way you did after you had sex with this girl. And it’s possible to walk away from an experience like that—one that left you feeling shitty and powerless—feeling empowered to advocate for yourself in uncomfortable sexual situations in the future, GOY, provided you learn the right lesson. Here’s the wrong lesson: “I’m a total fuckup who can’t speak up for myself when I’m having sex, so I’d better not have sex again. Ever.” That’s bullshit, GOY, and what’s worse, that kind of thinking can make a person more vulnerable the next time she winds up in bed with an insensitive jerk. Here’s the right lesson: “I don’t have to wait for someone to give me a ‘chance’ to say no. I can and will say no whenever I want to. I’m not going to let this happen to me again because I never want to feel this way again. Ever.” As for the girl, GOY, tell her straight up that you don’t have feelings for her. And tell her why: Things went too far, too fast, and the sex ruined it for you. Don’t sugarcoat things to avoid hurting her feelings, GOY, because she’s got a lesson to learn, too. Hers goes like this: “I didn’t ask the person I was with—someone I really liked—if she was cool with what we were doing, and I totally fucked myself out of what could’ve been a really great relationship. I’m not going to do that to anyone again. Ever.”

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were sexual in nature. He lives very close to where I do. I am a virgin—both genders considered—and the idea of sex right now makes me uneasy. But I am interested. Still, sex scares me at this point, and I don’t think I’m ready. As such, this afternoon, I told Dave that I felt we were moving too fast. He agreed. I suppose I have two questions: 1. I am worried about the outcome should I tell Selena about my “crush.” I feel inhibited. How do I bring it up? 2. How can I have a good relationship with Dave in a nonsexual way? I like him a lot, but is friendship too much to ask since he is sexually active and I am not? Not Agreeable Intervals

Call Toni @ 215.599.7606 Email: toni@philadelphiaweekly.com

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I’m a 17-year-old girl and, in most aspects, I’m confident with myself, my identity and my body. Earlier this year, I met a girl. She had some serious drama at home, so I let her stay at mine. Things went a LOT further than I was ready for. I had just had my first kiss the month before and I didn’t feel like our relationship was ready for sex, but I went along with it because she never gave me a chance to slow things down or say no. My feelings for her are gone; she is attractive, but we don’t connect. But she has feelings for me. How can I get her to understand, or at least respect, how I feel if she doesn’t understand why this was a big deal for me? Growing Older Youth

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Interested candidates should attend our open interviews on any

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GRAPHIC DESIGN INTERN: Review Publishing is seeking energetic, self-motivated individuals to help our Design Dept. Candidate must be able to work at least 15 hour/week; multi-task; take direction; be artistic and creative and experienced with InDesign on a Mac Platform. If interested and for more details, contact edubell@reviewpublishing.com NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE

DRIVERS-KNIGHT OFFERS HOMETIME CHOICES: Express lanes, 7/ON-7/ OFF 14/ON-7/OFF, WEEKLY. Full and Part Time. Daily Pay! CDL-A, 3 months recent experience required. 800-4149569 www.driveknight.com EARLY DEADLINES - May 30th Issue Real Estate Display ad deadline Thursday, May 24th, 5pm; Classified and Line ad deadline Friday, May 25th, 3:30pm. Office CLOSED Monday, May 28th MEMORIAL DAY. EARN $1000-$3200 a month to drive our new cars with ads. www.PaidDriver.com EARN $500 A DAY, Airbrush & Media Makeup Artist For: Ads, TV Film - Fashion. Train & Build Portfolio in 1 week. Lower Tuition for 2012. AwardMakeUpSchool.com EXP. REEFER DRIVERS: GREAT PAY /Freight lanes from Presque Isle, ME, Boston-Lehigh, PA 800-277-0212 or primeinc.com EXPERIENCED LINE COOK - MAIN L I N E / LOW E R M E R I O N Fu l l t i m e position available for award winning Main Line pub. Competitive salary, paid vacation, all major holidays off. Must have sautee and grilling experience and be able to work in a fast paced enviroment. Please send resume to Chef Frank at snowbound2@aol.com or call 610-664-1901.

HELP WANTED!!! Make money Mailing brochures from home! FREE Supplies! Helping HomeWorkers since 2001! Genuine O p p o r t u n i t y ! N o ex p e r i e n c e required. Star t Immediately! www.theworkhub.net HELP WANTED: $9/hr+ bonuses. Part and Full Time. 215-271-0188 LIVE-WORK-PARTY-PLAY! Play in Vegas Hang in LA, Jet to New York! Hiring 18-24 girls/guys. $400-$800 wkly. Paid expenses. Signing Bonus. Call 1-866-251-0768 MARTEN HAS REGIONAL RUNS AVA I L A B L E ! M o re H O M E T IM E & EARNING POWER. EXCELLENT PAY & BENEFITS!! AUTOMATIC DETENTION PAY! Ask about our FLEX FLEET OPPORTUNITIES! Certified Top Pay Carrier! (866)322-4039 or www. Drive4Marten.com CDL-A, 6mos. exp. required EEOE/AAP MEDICAL SECRETARY FT, South Philly Location. Exp. Preferred. Week days & Weekends Available. FAX RESUME: 215-389-0227

NEW TO TRUCKING? Your new career starts now! *$0 Tuition Cost *No Credit Check. *Great Pay & Benefits. Short employm e n t c o m m i t m e n t re q u i re d . Call: (866)447-0377 www.joinCRST.com

NOW HIRING: COMPANIES DESPERATELY NEED EMPLOYEES TO ASSEMBLE PRODUCTS AT HOME Electronics, CD Stands, Hair Barrettes, & Many More. No Selling. Any Hours Info: 1-985-646-1700 DEPT.PA-1017

NOW HIRING: Companies desperately need employees to assemble products at home. No selling, any hours. $500 weekly potential. Info. 1-985-646-1700 DEPT. PA-2573

PROPERTY INSPECTORS. Full and part time. We train! Flex hours. Car required. 610-213-3735

Religious Instructor (Philadelphia, PA) Teach religious courses to M u s l i m co m m u n i ty m e m b e rs. Dvlp instructional material & coord educational content for dvlpg curricula & conducting courses. Responsible for the interfaith dialogue activities of the organization. Master’s deg in Theology or Religious Studies. Fluency in written & spoken Turkish is reqd. 40 hrs/ wk. Send resume w/cover letter t o M u s t a f a N a c i Ya z i c i o g l u , Treasurer, Pennsylvania Dialogue Forum, 9350 Ashton Rd., Ste. 103, Philadelphia, PA 19114

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REAL ESTATE FOR SALE

Brand New Townhomes in East Falls!

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VIRGINIA SEASIDE LOTS: Spectacular 3+ acre estate lots in exclusive development on the seaside (the mainland) overlooking Chincoteague Bay islands and ocean beyond. Gated entrance, caretaker, private paved roads, community pier, pool and club house which includes 2-bedroom guest suites for property owners. Great climate, fishing, clamming and National Seashore beaches nearby. Just 30 miles south of Ocean City, Md. Absolute buy of a lifetime, recent bank sales makes these lots available at 1/3 original price! Priced at only $49,000 to $65,000. For info call (757)8245284 Email: oceanlandtrust@ yahoo.com, pictures on website: www.corbinhall.com

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2 BR/2.5 BA/1 Car Gar. 1857 sq. ft. June 2012 Move In From I 76; Take the Lincoln Drive/ Kelly Drive exit, stay left towards Ridge Ave/Kelly Dr, bear left on ramp towards Ridge Ave/Kelly Dr, turn left on Ridge Ave, Right on Schoolhouse Lane, Right on Founders Place. Call Sales Center at 215-844-8888. www.westrum.com

Brand New Townhomes in East Falls! 4425 Riverview Lane, Phila. Pa 19129

$329,900

3BR/2.5 BA/ 1 Car Gar. 1977 Sq, Ft. Hardwood Entire 1st Floor, Move in ready! From I 76; Take the Lincoln Drive/Kelly Drive exit, stay left towards Ridge Ave/ Kelly Dr, bear left on ramp towards Ridge Ave/Kelly Dr, turn left on Ridge Ave, Right on Schoolhouse Lane, Right on Founders Place. Call Sales Center at 215-844-8888. www.westrum.com BA N K O R D E R E D AU CT I O N / R EO Right off PA Turnpike, Exton PA 4,150+/-sf Office/Condo, Mint Condition. June 12, 1pm, 502 Gordon Dr. Exton, PA 2% BROKER CO-OP, AY-000115-L, 888-243-3431, www. AuctionAdvisors.com RITTENHOUSE SAVOY, 2BDRMS, 2 FULL BATHS, 1200sq.ft. PLUS All windows face the Square. Newly renovated, NEW KITCHEN with Bosch appliances, S.S./granite, marble/ hrdwd fls throughout, closets including walk-ins with closet systems. $599k For appt. George Gay R.E 215-563-6724

PW Classifieds PW Classifieds

15TH and SPRUCE: Beautiful Art Deco High-rise Studio Apt, Desk Attendant, HW Flrs, Updated Kitchen, Onsite Laundry, Intercom Entry, Amazing Location! From $990Mo. 215-735-8030. Lic #219789. 15th/Spruce: Large/Bright Studio in Charming Brownstone, HW Flrs, Lrg Closets, Onsite Laundry, Intercom Entry. $915/Mo. 215-735-8030. Lic # 220402 21ST & RITTENHOUSE SQ Gorg Studio, Pvt entr, HWF, All Amens. $1095mo. PMG 215-545-7007x110 23RD & POPLAR Great Studio w/sep EIK, Laundry, Tons of wndws. $625+. PMG 215-545-7007x303 C.C. PINE ST, SML/eff. KITCHENETTE, SEP/ba, HEAT/elc WD/bldg. $620+elc 215-735-8414 R I T T E N H O U S E SAVOY ST U D I O : Great view of Ritt. Sq. New Kit, H/W fl, AC. Avail 6-15 @ $1,195 inc. util (215)732-3239 THE IMPERIAL (BROAD & JUNIPER/ S P RU C E STS. ) Sunny Studio w/ Great City view, HW fls, AC, Lndry in bldg. AVAIL JULY! GAS INCL. $735. MSRE, 215-925-RENT(7368), www. MichaelSingerRealEstate.com THE ROOSEVELT (2220 Walnut Street) - Beautifully renovated apts. in the RITTENHOUSE SQUARE AREA of Philadelphia. Studio’s starting at only $765/mo. and one bedrooms starting at only $965/m o. Ca l l 2 1 5 - 6 4 0 - 8 8 8 0 for an appointment.

LOFTS 13TH/WOOD ST Spectacular Loft space w/Jacuzzi, Deck & PARKING. $2395+. PMG 215-545-7007x110

ONE BEDROOM “RITT. SQ STREET BI-LEVEL. GREAT LOC AC, DW, ROOF DECK $1600++ Avail June (215)806-1526” 9TH & SPRING GARDEN. MOD.2ND FLR. A/C, HDWD FLRS., GREAT LOC. $1100/MO+UTILS. 610-3040087, 15th/Spruce: Large 1BD in sought after location. Beautiful art-deco d e t a i l s , Fro n t D e s k At te n d a n t , HW Floors, Onsite Laundry, New K i tc h e n s Ava i l , Wo n d e r f u l C i ty Views. From $1130/mo. 215-735-8030. Lic #219789. 17TH & PINE Great 1BR, Newly ren. Laundry & more. $975+. PMG, 215545-7007 x303 1811-19 Chestnut #503- $1800/ mo 1BD/1BA unit, with c/a, hdwd flrs, granite & stainless kitchen, w/d. CALL LYNDA KREVITZ PRU FOX & ROACH 215-627-6005/215-521-1565 22XX S.9TH ST. 9TH & Wolf Vic. One Bedroom Apt. newly renovated, fully furnished. Heat Included. 215545-5464 X120

OFFICE SPACE

CC PENTHOUSE Ultra mod, Mrbl BA/Jac, WD, CA, HWF, Deck. $975+. 215-463-7374 EARLY DEADLINES - May 30th Issue Real Estate Display ad deadline Thursday, May 24th, 5pm; Classified and Line ad deadline Friday, May 25th, 3:30pm. Office CLOSED Monday, May 28th MEMORIAL DAY. O L D C I T Y ( 1 0 4 C h e s t n u t/2 n d Fl) Lg. 1 Bedrm, 1 Bath, Approx. 1300 s/f, tall windows, view of BF Bridge, high ceiling, carpeted, c/a, gas heat, d/w, g/d, w/d. $1160+/Mo. 215-627-4414 OLD CITY: Located in a great location in the heart of Old City, these a p a r t m e n ts fea tu re a s p a c i o u s living/ dining area, full kitchen, GD, DW, W/D, and WW carpeting. Prices range from $1,330 - $1,480 per month. Call 215-360-5761 to make an appt. THE CHATHAM (20TH/WALNUT) Spacious Studios/1BR’s in Highrise, Doorman bldg w/Magnificent Western & Southern exposure, View of Ritt Sq, HW flrs, Laundry on site, High flr. Prof managed. AVAIL JUNE! ALL UTILS INCL. FROM $1,275. MSRE, 215-925-RENT(7368), www.MichaelSingerRealEstate.com

office Space ImmedIate occupancy 404 to 6,152 square feet in the boutique PSFS bank building on the corner of 7th and Walnut Streets. Views of Washington Square or the private courtyard. Secure access to the building as well as elevator service.

Offered by Stonehenge Advisors, LLC at 215-320-3777.

THREE + BEDROOMS 10TH & SNYDER APARTMENT, 4BDRS,2ND FLR.,Lg.Tile BATH,CARPET, $1200/ MO.+. 610-304-0087. 17TH CHESNUT: GORGEOUS INCREDIBLE, MODERN, LGE BI-LVL, 3BDRMS, 3.5BATHS C/AC, ALL AMENITIES WD/fl. Avl 6/1. $3000+ George Gay RE, 215-563-6724

TWO BEDROOM

530 W.G i ra rd , # 4- $ 24 0 0/m o 3BD/3BA, den, chef’s kitchen, roof deck CALL RICH FRAVEL PRU FOX & ROACH, 215-627-6005/215-416-2701

9TH & SPRING GARDEN 2ND FLR., MOD. ALL APPLS.,A/C, NEWLY RENOV. $1200/MO.+. 610-304-0087.

W H I T M A N PA R K-3 X X DA LY S T Lg . 3 b e d r m . , E- I - K . $ 1 0 9 5/m o. + . 215-742-1447.

1 6 T H & BA I N B R I D G E Great apt w/2BA, Skylite, Great kit. $1495. PMG, 215-545-7007 x302 1 7 T H & P I N E G o r g a p t w/2 B A , Laundry & more. $1650+. PMG, 215545-7007 x302 18TH & SANSOM Luxury 2BR, HW floors, W/D, C/A, Bright, Spacious, Lots of closet space. AVAIL MID-JUNE! $1865/ mo. MSRE, 215-925-RENT(7368), www. MichaelSingerRealEstate.com 19XX SOUTH, 2ND/fl BI/LVL, WD DW HRDWD, CA, 1.5BA $1400+utls. George Gay RE, 215-563-6724 721 North Terrace, B- $1,050/ mo Dazzling, gated 2BD/1BA unit, w/ heat+ hot water included. CALL MIKE MCCANN, PRU FOX & ROACH 215-627-6005/215-778-0901 733 Melon Pl, D- $995/mo Beautiful, gated 2BD/1BA unit, w/heat+ hot water included. CALL MIKE MCCANN PRU FOX & ROACH, 215-627-6005/215778-0901. BROAD & RITNER 1st flr.,2bedrms, LR, Kit,tile bath,yard. $800/mo(heat incl). 215-498-2847. EAST PASSYUNK AVE.SQ. 13TH & TA S K E R . 2 B E D R M S . $ 1 275/ MO.+UTILS. HDWD FLRS.,1,000 SQ. FT. WASHER/DRYER, OUTDOOR DECK, NO PETS. CALL CALL FRANCO 215-534-3506. Modern RITTENHOUSE Apt! 2bd, 1ba, w/d, c/h/a, h/w. $2100/mth, 215-336-8920 OLD CITY (6 S.Front St/4th Fl) Bright, Spacious, 2bdrm, 2 bath, approx. 2000 S/F, facing Del. River w/view of BF Bridge. C/A, Gas heat, W/D, D/W, G/D, Carpeted. $1475+/mo. Avail July. 215-627-4414 OLD CITY (6 S.Front St.) 2BR or Office combo. Overlooks BF Bridge & Del River. High ceiling, WD, DW, GD, CA, Gas heat, Tiled bath & Kit. $1195/mo+. 215-627-4414 OLD CITY: SPACIOUS, BRIGHT 2BA, BI-LV CAC, HRWD, HI/CLGS UPDATED KIT/ BA, WD/apt. June $1595+ 215-733-0480 www.CentraAssociates.com OLD CITY: Located in a great location in the heart of Old City, these a p a r t m e n t s fe a t u re 2 b a t h s, a large living room, spacious dining area, full kitchen, W/D, DW, GD, WW carpeting and a very nice view of the city. Available for immediate move-in. Price range from $1,900 per month. A real “MUST SEE”!!!! Call 215-360-5761 to make an appt.

PW Classifieds

HOUSE FOR RENT 4TH & LOMBARD 3BR Townhome on quaint street, HW flrs, CA, DW, WD, 2BA, Outdoor patio, Bsmnt, Dog friendly. AVAIL JULY! $1965. MSRE, 215-925-RENT(7368), www. MichaelSingerRealEstate.com ART MUSEUM: 26xx Parrish 3BR, 2.5BA TH, Garage, Rear yard, CA, WD. $1900/mo+ Utils. 267-939-4959 Large GRADUATE HOSPITAL Home! 4bd, 3ba, w/d, c/h/a, h/w, Yard, d e c k , 1 ca r p a r k i n g ! $29 0 0/m t h , 215-336-8920

ROOM FOR RENT 124 LOMBARD the HEART OF CENTER CITY, SOCIETY HILL, HEAD HOUSE SQ. “TOKIO B&B” STUDIOS. WALK to HISTORIC LOCATIONS, RESTAURANTS, PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION. TOURIST are WELCOME! Reasonable daily rates ($55-$100) wkly rates ($300-$500) Also available special monthly rates. Website http:// sushi.madamesaito.com MADAME SAITO 215-922-2515 13TH & SPRUCE- Parker Hotel CC. Fully Furn’d Rms, no sec. deposit. Utils & housekeeping incld. WK: $165-$203; Day: $40-$56. 215-735-2300.

ROOMMATE /SHARING ALL AREAS - ROOMMATES.COM. Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: http://www.Roommates.com.

BUSINESS PROPERTY CORNER 9TH & SPRING GARDEN Office/Store,1100-1200/sq.ft.Great Locat!$1500mo+ 610-304-0087

“We have been happy customers of the Philadelphia Weekly for 16 years. PW is the ideal place to place your real estate ads. Not only are we pleased with their level of customer service and our representative, we also receive excellent leads from our ads we place. Thanks to PW we have had great success in renting center city apartments.”

VACATION RENTAL O C E A N C I T Y M A RY L A N D. B e s t selection of affordable rentals. Full/ partial weeks. Call for FREE brochure. Open daily. Holiday Real Estate. 1-800-638-2102 Online reservations: www.holidayoc.com

OFFICE SPACE 3RD & WALNUT Street level office space, Newly Renovated 1000 sqft. $1300/mo 215-778-9190

Tiffany Delio, Leasing Associate Michael Singer Real Estate

PARKING SPACE 26TH and SOUTH Garage parking. $250/mo. 215-636-0100

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4407 Driftwood Lane, Phila, Pa 19129 $299,990

ONE BEDROOM C.C., AVE OF ARTS: ULTRA MOD. Mrble BA/Jac. 2ND/FL, WD, CA, HW, Deck. $895+. 215-463-7374

P H I L A D E L P H I A W E E K L Y M AY 2 3 - 2 9 , 2 0 1 2

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SAWMILLS from only $3,997.00MAKE & SAVE MONEY with your own -bandmill-Cut lumber any dimension. In stock ready to ship. FREE Info/ yDVD: www.NorwoodSawmills.com .1-800-578-1363 Ext. 300N

U P S TAT E N Y L A N D F O R S A L E “SPORTSMAN BARGAIN” 3 acres w/ cozy cabin, Close access to Oneida Lake - $17,995.” “Large River”- over 900 ft. 18 acres along fishing/swimming river - $49,995. “Timberland Investment” 90 acres deer sanctuary, beautiful timber studs, small creek - $99,995. Over 100 new properties. Call 800-229-7843 Or visit landandcamps.com

STUDIO/ EFFICIENCY

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s s s & / r

real estate advertised in this newspaper is subject to federal, state and localfair housing laws, which makes it illegal to advertise any preference, limitation, or discriminationbased on race; color; religion;sex; disability; familial; (presence of children);national origin; age (Pennsylvania and New Jersey); martial status or sexual orientation(Pennsylvania and New Jersey), or source of Income (Philadelphia only) in the sale, rentalor financing or insuring of housing. This paper will not knowingly accept any advertisingfor real estate which violates these laws. The law requires that all dwellings advertised beavailable on an equal opportunity basis. If you believe you have been discriminated againstin connection with the sale, rent, financing or insuring of housing or commercial property,call HUD at 1-888-799-2085

* Must Have 3 plus years sales experience in a related field required.

BE YOUR OWN BOSS! OWN your own commercial cleaning business! *NO SELLING: We provide active clients. *AFFORDABLE: Flexible payment plans. *FULL SUPPORT: No experience needed. Guaranteed Monthly Income. 484-532-7284 HEITS Building Services. wwww.HeitsMidAtlantic.com n MISCELLANEOUS t

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EQUAL HOUSING OPPORTUNITY All

REAL ESTATE FOR SALE

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EARN COLLEGE DEGREE ONLINE *Medical, *Business, *Criminal Justice. Job placement assistance. Computer available. Financial Aid if qualified. SCHEV Certified. Call 888-220-3984. www.CenturaOnline.com

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9th & Spruce – Wonderful apt w/Sleeping loft. Close to everything. $750+

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13th & Spruce –Great 1BR apt in Very cool building. $875+

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ONE BEDROOM

4432 Sansom St 3rd flr. (Penn area) 1 bedroom, 1 bath, new stove, wood floors, plain apt. $650.00 Abbotts Sq. Large Upgraded 1 Bedroom, 1.5 Baths, Balcony, wood flrs., c/a, w&d, nice view $1,550.00 161 Poplar (Northern Liberties) Lg. 1 Bedroom, 1 Bath,c/a, w&d, full basement. June 5, 2012 $1,050.00 2224 S. Broad St.(Wolf St) 1 Br., 1 Bath & STUDIOS, w/w carpet, w&d in basement 3 avail. $600-$675 1712 Pine St 1 Bedroom, 1 Bath, c/a, hrd. Floors, washer & dryer in the building $1,250.00 1307 N. Marshall St (Northern Liberties Area) 1 Bedroom, 1 Bath, wood floors $600.00 919 McKean St 1st flr, 1 Br., 1 Bath, yard, new kitchen new bath avail June 1, 2012 $800.00 130 Bread St (The Castings) Courtyard garden 1 Br., 1 Bth., c/a, w&d, hrd.flrs.,xtra storage $1,450.00 1600 Arch St. The Phoenix Large 1 Br., 1 Bth, c/a,w&d, w/w carpet, gym nice light $1,900.00 Abbotts Sq. 1 Bedroom, 1 Bath, balcony, c/a, w&d, wood floors granite kitchen $1,395.00 305 Queen St 1 Bedroom, 1 Bath, bi-level c/a, coin w&d, no pets, no smoking Avail June 15th $1050.00 244 Morris (Pennsport) 1 Bedroom, 1 Bath, wood floors Route 57 bus stop at front door June 9th $675.00

STUDIO

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2224 S. Broad St Studios and 1 Bedroom, 1 Bath, w/w carpet/tile Hopkinson House Studio south view, central air, wood floors, dressing area, includes cable

TWO BEDROOMS

1025 Bainbridge St 2 Bedrooms, 1 bath bi-level, c/a, w&d, wood floors avail. June 9th 759 S. 3rd St 2 Bedrooms, 1 Bath small deck, hardwood floors, c/a, w&d in the building

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THREE BEDROOMS

709 S. 3rd St Large Bi-level 3 Bedrooms, 1 Bath, Deck, a/c, washer & dryer

TOWNHOUSES

236 Spruce St 2 Bedrooms, 1.5 Baths, wood floors, garden, full basement, w&d, avail Now 507 S. Hancock St ( in Courtyard 2nd & Lombard) 2 Brs, 1 Bth, trinity, c/a, w&d June 9th 523 S. 2nd St. 3 Bedrooms, 2 Baths, hrd.flrs., c/a,w&d, no smoking, no pets Avail. August 1

COMMERCIAL

305 Brown St (Northern Liberties) 1500 sq. ft.office or photography/music studio, hrd. Floors 25th & Wharton Sts. G-2 warehouses, garages, offices, 800sq. ft to 16,000 sq. ft available 404 South St 1200 sq.ft, retail store, bath, c/a, high traffic great block NNN 413 S. Broad St across from Symphony Hse. Approx 2500 sq.ft. bi-level offices, c/a.1.5 bths

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P H I L A D E L P H I A W E E K L Y M AY 2 3 - 2 9 , 2 0 1 2

Avenue 0f the ARtS

$1000 $770-995 $575-1000 $825-$1000 $950 $850-950 $700-1000 Pine & 22nd 1 & 2Bd, hardwood, heat incl. $750-1100 Lombard & 23rd 1 &2Bd, bi-level, A/C Chestnut 20thUltra Ultra mod 1Bd's, bainbridge & 5th&NEW Mod 1BD C/WC/A, W/Dgreat location $875-1000 $1400 $875-1700 Lombard renov, mod studio, & 2Bd's $770-995 Walnut & 23rd 1 &12Bd's, hardwood, laundry 1BDNewly W/W, C/A $775 bainbridge & 3rd-&Lg19th $800-850 $575-1000 Locust & C/A, 21st heat Studios & 1Bd's, laundry, heat incl. Broad & Spruce Mod 1Bd's, W/D, incl. $850-950 Pine & 21st 1Bd's, hardwood, heat incl., yard $850-995 Lombard & 9th 1Bd & 2Bd, w/d, hardwood, laundry $700-1000 Pine & 22nd 1 & 2Bd, hardwood, heat incl. Pine & 9th 2Bd's, h/w floors, W/D & 23rd 1 &2Bd, bi-level, $995-1100 Lombard A/C aspen &Spruce 26th - &Great w/eat-in themod Art1Bd's, Museum from your front$750-1100 steps $875-1000 $995location Chestnut & 20thSee Ultra C/A, great 12thStudio’s 2Bd, 1-1/2 bath, Kitchen bi-level, laundry $875-1700 Lombard & 19th Newly renov, mod$995-1350 studio, 1 & 2Bd's $750-$775 Spruce & 16th Old World, 1 & 2Bd's, hardwood $800-850 Broad & Spruce Mod 1Bd's, W/D, C/A, heat incl. 1BD with Back Yard $850 Wallace & 20th $950-1750 Art Area Ultra Mod 1 & 3Bd's, W/D,&Deck, Parking $850-995 Lombard 9th 1Bd & 2Bd, w/d, hardwood, laundry $995-1100 & 9th 2Bd's, h/w floors, W/D $825-1375 Old City Fab ultra mod 1 &Pine 2Bd's, deck $995 Spruce & 12th 2Bd, 1-1/2 bath, bi-level,$1950 laundry University City 3Bd, 2 bath, totally renovated $995-1350 Spruce & 16th Old World, 1 & 2Bd's, hardwood $700 Spring Garden Nice $950-1750 ModStudio 1 & 3Bd's, steel W/D, Deck, Parking 9XX n. 3rd - New Super Collonade-Extremely Mod 2BR Art w/ Area 2 1/2Ultra Baths Stainless appliace w/ granite, C/A $825-1375 City Fab ultraC/A mod 1 & 2Bd's, deck $600-675 Q.V.Across 3rd &from Bambridge & 2Bd's, $2200 W/W, Parking! Park Last1Old one !! W/W, $1950 University City 3Bd, 2 bath, totally renovated $375 Spring Garden & 19th Studio, hardwood, Heat incl. $700 Spring Garden Collonade-Extremely Nice Studio $625 Fairmount & 18th Mod 1Bd, C/A, W/D $600-675 Q.V. 3rd & Bambridge 1 & 2Bd's, W/W, C/A $375 Spring Yard, Garden & 19th Studio, hardwood,$600 Heat incl. Mt. Vernon & 21st Gret Studio, Laundry $625 Fairmount & 18th Mod 1Bd, C/A, W/D $700 spruce &Wallace 16th Parking $200 & 20th Spot 1Bd, parquet floors, yard $600 Mt. Vernon & 21st Gret Studio, Yard, Laundry $225 south & 26th AspenGarage & 26th 1Bd, W/W, Wallace laundry & 20th 1Bd, parquet floors, yard$600 $700

spruce &Walnut 13th Great Studio’s & 1BD’S H/W 825& 23rd 1 & 2Bd's, hardwood, laundry C/A,W/D broad & spruceLocust & Mod 21st Studio’s&1BD Studios & 1Bd's, laundry, heat incl. Lg. 1BD H/W, Laundry heat incl., yard spruce &Pine 10th&-21st 1Bd's, hardwood,

queen villAge ARt MuSeuM

noRtheRn libeRtieS PARking

48

annmarie or John 215.636.0100 Annmarie or John annemarie@wprg.net (215) 636-0100 or Ellen nancy orNancy ellen (215) 546-9247 215.546.9247

$600 Many More apartMents available!

The Old Quaker Building At the heart of University City, the Old Quaker was once a Quaker meetinghouse and always a home for knowledge. Today, distinctive studios and 1-bedrooms show off her historic character and offer every modern convenience for urban living.

Aspen & 26th 1Bd, W/W, laundry

Annmarie or John (215) 636-0100 Nancy or Ellen (215) 546-9247

$1,500.00 $1,100.00 $1,800.00 $1,850.00 $1,400.00 $2,500.00 $2,200.00 $7-$9sq.ft. $4,000.00 $2,500.00

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$600-$675 $975.00

www.reinholdresidential.com

3514 Lancaster Avenue Philadelphia, PA 19104 215.222.2233 Leasing Hours: Mon-Fri 10-6 Sat 10-5 • Sun Noon-5

At home with chArActer


Ave of The ArTs AcAdemy House 1420 Locust street

2 bedrooms, 2 baths, lots of natural light from south facing windows in all rooms, hard wood floors, marble baths, designer kitchen, 1064 sf $3,500

Corner 1 bedrooms, lots of light, wood floors, updated bathroom,

2 bedrooms, 1 bath, unobstructed river view from all rooms, wood

Junior 1 bedroom, south and west views, great closet space, 656 sf

$1,525

tHe dorcHester 226 W. rittenHouse squAre

2 bedrooms, 1.5 baths, W/D, city views from all rooms, 1019 sf

$2,500

Efficiency, high floor, western city views, 395sf

2 bedrooms, 2 baths, high floor, balcony, city views, 1111 sf

$2,700

riTTenhouse squAre tHe cArLyLe 2031 Locust street 1 bedroom, efficient floorplan with separate living room, 514 sf $1,290 1 bedroom, large kitchen, sunrise and city views, 607 sf

$1,400

2 bedrooms, 2 baths, 270 degree city views, separate dining room, 1079 sf

$2,250

3 bedrooms, 2 baths, recently updated, lots of natural light, 1375 sf

$3,300

riTTenhouse sAvoy 1810 s. rittenHouse squAre 1 bedroom, western view, private bedroom, 515 sf

$1,425

$1,115

Studio, high floor, oversized windows, good closet space, 573 sf $1,400

Penn’s lAnding squAre

Studio, newer kitchen and bath, balcony, 528 sf

130 spruce street

$1,540

tHe rittenHouse 210 W. rittenHouse squAre Studio, western city views, large bathroom appointed in marble, 583 sf $1,575 Studio, wood floors, large marble bathroom, western views, 583 sf $2,250 2 bedrooms, 2 baths, high floor with panoramic city views, excellent condition, 1418 sf $4,750 2 bedrooms plus den, 2.5 bathroom penthouse, new designer kitchen, marble baths, expansive balcony, 2122 sf $7,500 220 West rittenHouse squAre 2 bedrooms plus den, 2.5 baths, balcony, greenhouse, large living room and separate dining room, kitchen has new SS appliances, 2464 sf $5,680 WAnAmAker House 2020 WALnut street $1,375

Studio, western city view, open kitchen, marble bathroom with stall $1,425

shower, 412 sf

Studio, wood floors, walk-in closet, marble bathroom, beautifully $1,525

appointed kitchen, 423 sf tHe bArcLAy 237 s. 18tH street

2 bedrooms, 2 baths, corner unit with lots of light, updated kitchen, beautiful hardwood floors throughout, 1050 sf

$3,250

3 bedrooms, 3 baths, large and light-filled rooms throughout, designer kitchen and baths, wood floors, custom built closets, 2527 sf

$7,500

pArc rittenHouse 225 s. 18tH street $1,550

Junior 1 bedroom, open kitchen, large marble bath, wood floors 528 sf

$1,950

1 bedroom, high floor with unobstructed city views, large bay windows, open kitchen, 704 sf

$1,650

$2,375

1 bedroom, located in the heart of Society Hill, community pool, 915 sf $1,875 WAshingTon squAre Hopkinson House Efficiency, South views, excellent natural light, 415 sf

$1,050

1 bedroom, galley kitchen, highfloor, balcony, Washington Square view from all rooms, 843 sf

$1,600

1 bedroom, highfloor, excellent natural light, great storage space, 778 sf $1,610 1119 pine street 2 bedrooms plus den, wood floors, open renovated kitchen, private deck overlooking Pine Street, indoor parking space included, 1999 sf $2,800 620 Pine sTreeT 5 bedrooms, 4.5 baths, updated kitchen, one car parking, private rear patio, 3500 sf

$3,000

$1,825

2 bedrooms, 2 baths, completely renovated throughout with custom

indePendence PlAce 233 - 241 s. 6tH street

finishes, high floor with dramatic city views, 1200 sf

1 bedroom, brand new appliances and granite counters in kitchen, new

2 bedrooms, 2 baths, eat-in kitchen, large bay windows, 1200 sf $2,675 $2,975

313 soutH 18tH street Studio, wood floors, updated kitchen and bath, boutique building less than two blocks from Rittenhouse Square $875 1 bedroom overlooking 18th Street, wood floors, new kitchen and bath $1,425

tile and carpet floors, balcony, 928 sf

ArT museum tHe pHiLAdeLpHiAn 2401 pennsyLvAniA Avenue Studio w/balcony, Fairmount view, open kitchen, 570 sf

commerciAl sPAce

Penthouse, 3 bedrooms, 2.5 baths, magnificent river views, fireplace, updated kitchen and baths, 2575 sf

$975

office space in boutique, doorman building, 754 sf

$5,250

$1,590

250 S. 18th Street – Prime ground floor corner retail/office space on Rittenhouse Square, 1857 sf

$3,000 NNN

1601 Locust Street - 1st floor and lower level of prestigious Lanesborough condo, ideal for restaurant or offices, 4700 sf $10,000 NNN

independence pLAce

Penthouse with 3 bedrooms and 2.5 baths, balcony, magnificent city and river views, 2575 sf

$5,250

1830 Rittenhouse Square – Rittenhouse Square professional or personal

old ciTy/socieTy hill society HiLL toWers 200-220 Locust street Studio, treetop views of Society Hill, floor-to-ceiling windows, 504 sf $1,250

241 south 6th street

$1,590

210 West rittenhouse square Penthouse, 2 bedrooms plus den, 2.5 baths, new custom kitchen, large balcony, 2122 sf

$7,500

Allan Domb Real Estate

1845 Walnut St. Suite 2200 • rentals@allandomb.com 215/545.1500

49

FoR A complEtE list oF ouR REntAl pRopERtiEs, plEAsE visit www.AllAnDomb.com

P H I L A D E L P H I A W E E K L Y M AY 2 3 - 2 9 , 2 0 1 2

Studio, South views, wood floors, marble bath, 475 sf

floors, 1200 sf

Studio, high floor, partial view of Rittenhouse Square, galley kitchen, 573 sf $1,445

Studio with city view, open kitchen, separate dressing area, 548 sf

WArWick 1701 Locust street

775 sf

W W W. P H I L A D E L P H I AW E E K LY. C O M

cEntER citY luXuRY conDominiums FoR REnt


W W W. P H I L A D E L P H I AW E E K LY. C O M

ichael inger

FIND YOUR NEXT

we have an apartment home for you.

Real Estate

HOME

over 50 years in the real estate business

@

PHILADELPHIAWEEKLY.COM

rittenhouse square/fitler square

/REALESTATE

THE CHATHAM (20TH & WALNUT) - Spacious Studios & One Bedrooms in High-rise, Doorman bldg w/Magnificent Western & Southern exposure, View of Rittenhouse Square, HW floors, Laundry on site, High floor. Professionally managed. AvAiLAbLE jUNE! ALL UTiLiTiTEs iNCL. froM $1,275 21sT & LoCUsT – Charming Studios in Historic Brownstone, HW floors, Laundry on premise. AvAiLAbLE jUNE! HEAT/HoT WATEr iNCL. $735 22ND & LoCUsT – Cool Studio, HW floors, Bright & Cheery, High ceiling, Laundry on premises. AvAiLAbLE jULY! HEAT/HoT WATEr iNCL. $975 21sT & WALNUT – Spacious Studio w/ HW floors, High ceilings, Laundry on premise. ALL UTiLiTiTEs iNCL. $1,035 AvAiLAbLE jUNE! 18TH & sANsoM – Luxury Two Bedroom, HW floors, W/D, C/A, Bright, Spacious, Lots of $1,865 closet space. AvAiLAbLE MiD-jUNE! washington square west/avenue of the arts/old city

12TH & WALNUT – One Bedroom plus Office, HW floors, C/A, D/W, Laundry on premise. AvAiLAbLE jUNE! $1,125

P H I L A D E L P H I A W E E K L Y M AY 2 3 - 2 9 , 2 0 1 2

9TH & sprUCE – Charming One Bedroom in Brownstone, HW floors, Great light, High ceilings, C/A, Laundry on premise. AvAiLAbLE jULY! $1,075 4TH & LoMbArD – Three Bedroom Townhome on quaint street, HW floors, C/A, D/W, W/D, Two baths, Outdoor patio, Basement, Dog friendly. AvAiLAbLE jULY! $1,965

215-925-RENT 7

GRADUATE HOSPITAL

New Listing! Complete Renovation, Unique Industrial look w/exposed brick and ceiling joists, random width pine flrs.Bricked patio, New Kitchen, 2 BRs, 1 1/2 Baths 1424 sq ft. .............. $325,000 2201 CHERRY #203

LOGAN CIRCLE

New Listing! 1 Bedroom, new carpet, freshly painted. Eat-In Kitchen w/lge pantry. West View, w/d ................................................................................................................................... $249,000

THE iMpEriAL (broAD & jUNipEr/sprUCE sTs.) – Sunny Studio w/Great City view, HW floors, A/C, Laundry in bldg. AvAiLAbLE jULY! GAs iNCL. $735

1117 Spruce Street www.michaelSingerrealestate.com

2539 CHRISTIAN

3

6

8

1608-14 W PASSYUNK

SOUTH PHILADELPHIA

One story double width commercial property built in 1981, good location on developing blocks of Passyunk, building for sale only. new roof 2006, new HW heater 2009, 986 sq ft./ NEW PRICE ..$249,000 2201 CHERRY STREET #301

LOGAN CIRCLE

2 BR/2 B Condo south facing, w/ city skyline Views, accessible to everything. 1175 sq ft................................................................................................................ NEW PRICE! $299,900 905 N 5TH

NORTHERN LIBERTIES

Perfect Live/Work space on a lge lot 3 BRS/2 Baths, Plus Studio space, poss prkg, 2000 sq ft plus .............................................................................NEW PRICE! $375,000

www.philadelphiaweekly.com

1023 E MOYAMENSING AVE. C

QUEEN VILLAGE

Trinity in a gated Courtyard, 2 BRs, 1 B, hdwd flrs, C/A, Frpls, exposed brick walls, walk to philadelphia weekly

shops, restaurants, in Meredith School District. ......................................NEW PRICE! $270,000

In Print, Online and on your Phone!

Published Every Wednesday

50

The city’s leading source for arts, entertainment, dining, and hard-hitting alternative news.

Solo Real Estate, Inc. philadelphiaweekly.com 1500 SanSom St i 3rd Floor philadelphia, pa 19102 i 215.563.7400

215/564-7656 • solorealty.com

Member MLS


THE REAL ESTATE MAN

THE #1 PRUDENTIAL SALES ASSOCIATE IN THE U.S.!

THINKING OF SELLING?

CALL 215.778.0901

NEW THIS WEEK!

Bella Vista

$725,000

Fantastic 3BD/2.5BA corner home with finished garage, hardwood floors and elegant smoked glass doors throughout, 2 Juliet balconies, beautiful custom kitchen and incredible rooftop deck with amazing views and wet bar-- perfect for entertaining!

Old City

$199,000

THINKING OF BUYING?

GRADUATE HOSPITAL

812 S. 21st

$339,000

Updated 3BD/2.5BA with sun-filled living room, hardwood floors, fantastic skyline views, fun deck, and finished basement, on a great block.

NORTHERN LIBERTIES

Beautiful 2BD/1BA home with Brazilian Cherrywood $429,950 floors, granite & stainless kitchen, and lovely details 445 Olive One of a kind, 3 story 4BD/1.5BA home featuring right through to the spacious decked in yard patio, all roof deck, brick paved rear patio, stainless & granite on a wonderful block! kitchen, with plenty of space, in a great part of town!

$376,000

Adorable 2BD/2BA penthouse home featuring 1-car parking and fun, spacious deck, with a plethora of potential, all on a charming block!

Queen Village

$460,000

Gorgeous 2BD/2BA townhouse style condo with 1-deeded parking space and common courtyard, featuring stainless & granite kitchen, wide open living/dining room, wood floors, gas burning fireplace, master bedroom suite, and a charming porch deck!

BELLA VISTA

763 S. Marvine

SOCIETY HILL

$489,900

New construction! 3BD/2.5BA home featuring hardwood floors, stainless & granite kitchen, spectacular marble and stone baths, and amazing outdoor space, all in a lively location!

RITTENHOUSE SQUARE

2418 Delancey

$489,900

Spacious and fantastic 3BD/1BA home with tons of light, lovely ornate woodwork, formal dining room, modern kitchen, hardwood floors and rear yard!

WASHINGTON SQUARE WEST

$439,900 505 S. 10

Renovated and well decorated 4BD/1.5BA home featuring hardwood flooring, spacious stainless tile kitchen, with a grand yard in a great part of the city.

603 Addison

973 N 5th

$389,000

Adorable 2BD/1BA home with rooftop deck, hardwood floors, gorgeous granite + stainless kitchen, and private, red bricked yard, all on a charming, cobblestone street with brick sidewalks!

th

$564,000

Sunshine fills this 3BD/2.5BA corner unit complete with 1-car parking, hardwood floors, wood burning fireplace, separate dining area, master bedroom suite, rooftop deck, finished basement and lush garden!

FRANCISVILLE 1814 Francis

CALL 215.440.8345 315 New St 503

Fantastic 2BD/2BA condo with 1-car parking, Pergo 1141-47 Brandywine $375,000 flooring throughout, tile kitchen, and glorious master Brand new construction development! Gorgeous 3BD/2.5BA homes with 1-car garage, hardwood floors, bedroom suite, in a lively location! granite & stainless kitchen, many lovely details, and a Graduate Hospital $290,000 breathtaking skyline view!

Old City

ows n k e n o o n do. e w e k i l y l phil

$379,900

Brand new 3BD/2BA, three story home with a rooftop deck, featuring front loaded windows with breathtaking views, magnificent master bedroom suite with walk in closet, and many fantastic details!

$199,000

Fantastic 2BD/2BA condo with 1-cart parking, Pergo flooring throughout, tile kitchen, and glorious master bedroom suite, in a lively location! 338 S. 3rd

W W W. P H I L A D E L P H I AW E E K LY. C O M

MIKE McCANN

$525,000

This handsome 2BD/2BA home offers a den, sun deck, wood flooring throughout, a lovely master suite, skylights, woodburning fireplace and central air conditioning 609 Poplar St $650,000 Poplar View Townhomes! 8 Brand new luxury construction 4BD/3.5BA extra wide homes featuring 2 dens, finished garage, elevator, 3 Juliet balconies, rooftop deck with fantastic views, stainless steel appliances, and custom wood floors! 504 Delancey 219 $775,000 Recently renovated 4BD/2.5BA home with refinished pine floors, three wood burning fireplaces, and newer kitchen and baths, featuring granite & stainless kitchen, on a fun block! 210 W Washington 6NS $1,395,000 This rarely available, former model unit is a spectacular 3 bed/3 bath unit with bonus room for office or den, valet parking, tax abatement, marble foyer, wide open living room/dining room and valet parking!

Visit my website for more information

WWW.MCCANNTEAM.COM

FOX & ROACH REALTORS

215.627.6005 2 15. 440. 83 45 WWW.MCCANNTEAM.COM

w w w . p h i l a d e l p h i aw e e k ly . c o m

1815-17 S 6th Street – Large double property. 4575 Sq ft. Shell. $189,000. 2337 Wharton Street – Investment Property. Large Triplex. Shell. Faces Wharton Square. $89,000

GRADUATE HOSPITAL AREA – CARRIAGE HOUSE 1615 Carpenter Street – 1 bedroom apartment and 3-car garage. $335,000.

LARGE WAREHOUSE - NORTHERN LIBERTIES VICINITY 1613-27 Germantown Avenue – Approx. 9600 sq. ft. Warehouse. 13’ Ceilings. $399,000.

UPPER DARBY 254 Heather Road – Renovated Duplex and large Parking Area. $179,000.

SHELL RIPE FOR DEVELOPMENT 2431 Manton Street – 14 x 60. $32,500.

RARE FIND – TWO TOGETHER 1811-1813 N. Reese Street – Two 2 Bedroom Homes. $75,000 each.

CITY LINE AVENUE VICINITY- BELMONT VILLAGE 4439 Sherwood Road – Hardwoods. 3 Bedrooms. Garage. Garden Front. Reduced. $158,000.

UNIVERSITY CITY 421 N. Union Street – Corner of Union & Willow Street. 3 Bedrooms. Central Air. Yard. Total Renovations. $149,000.

Fred r. levine r e a l e s tat e

215-465-3733

P H I L A D E L P H I A W E E K L Y M AY 2 3 - 2 9 , 2 0 1 2

AN INDEPENDENTLY OWNED AND OPERATED MEMBER OF THE PRUDENTIAL REAL ESTATE AFFILIATES, INC.

SOUTH PHILADELPHIA 2038 So. 22nd Street – Complete Renovation. Two Master Suites. New Front. Granite. Hardwoods. Finished Basement. $185,000.

51


W W W. P H I L A D E L P H I AW E E K LY. C O M

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P H I L A D E L P H I A W E E K L Y M AY 2 3 - 2 9 , 2 0 1 2

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President’s Cup Award

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Ave of the Arts • Blue Bell • Conshohocken • Exton • Haddonfield • Media • Old City • Wayne • Wilmington (215) 546-2700 • (215) 641-2727 • (610) 828-9558 • (610) 363-6006 • (856) 685-5600 • (610) 566-1100 • (215) 923-7600 • (610) 975-5900 • (302) 234-1888

52

©2012 Coldwell Banker Real Estate LLC. Coldwell Banker® is a registered trademark licensed to Coldwell Banker Real Estate LLC. An Equal Opportunity Company. Equal Housing Opportunity. Owned and Operated by NRT LLC.


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NRT’s #4 Team in Selling Units Skye Michiels Old City

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Ave of the Arts • Blue Bell • Conshohocken • Exton • Haddonfield • Media • Old City • Wayne • Wilmington (215) 546-2700 • (215) 641-2727 • (610) 828-9558 • (610) 363-6006 • (856) 685-5600 • (610) 566-1100 • (215) 923-7600 • (610) 975-5900 • (302) 234-1888

53

©2012 Coldwell Banker Real Estate LLC. Coldwell Banker® is a registered trademark licensed to Coldwell Banker Real Estate LLC. An Equal Opportunity Company. Equal Housing Opportunity. Owned and Operated by NRT LLC.

P H I L A D E L P H I A W E E K L Y M AY 2 3 - 2 9 , 2 0 1 2

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International President’s Elite Team

Skye Michiels Old City

Melissa Leonard Lisa Caparo-Carlomagno Blue Bell Conshohocken


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P H I L A D E L P H I A W E E K L Y M ay 2 3 - 2 9 , 2 0 1 2

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ART MUSEUM / logAn SqUARE river’s edge

The PhiLadeLPhiaN

RiTTEnhoUSE SqUARE COnT.

Townhome style condo with 3 bedrooms and 2.5 baths, beautifully appointed chef’s kichen, designer master

1900 riTTeNhouse

bathroom, roof deck

1778 sf

$349,900

riTTeNhouse savoy

studio, open renovated kitchen, private balcony, Fairmount views

570 sf

$159,900

The WarWick Parc riTTeNhouse Parc riTTeNhouse

AvEnUE of ThE ARTS academy house

3 br, 2.5 ba, lots of natural light, high floor, generous entertaining/living space 1,524 sf

$479,900

academy house

1 br, excellent natural light, wood floors Throughout, french balcony, south views from all rooms 724 sF

$269,900

academy house

Junior 1 br, high floor, western city views

$229,000

624 sf

The riTTeNhouse WaNamaker house

baNk buiLdiNg

socieTy hiLL ToWers

1br, high floor, river view, investment opportunity

socieTy hiLL ToWers

The riTTeNhouse

3,293 sf

4,455 sf Parc riTTeNhouse

The WarWick

3 bedrooms, 3.5 baths, 270 degree city views, wood floor, chef’s kitchen, marble baths, 2000 sf

The dorchesTer

2 bedrooms, 2 baths, balcony atop rittenhouse square, wood floors, renovated throughout 1231 sf

WaNamaker house

$2,295,000

3 bedrooms, 3 baths, all rooms overlook rittenhouse square, 2 sets of Juliet balconies, lavish master suite, brand new 1,709 sf

The barcLay

$2,900,000

bi-level penthouse with dramatic sunset views of the city, lavish entire flat master suite, great entertaining space

$1,475,000 $1,125,000

$725,000

2 bedrooms, 2 baths, corner unit with lots of light, updated kitchen, beautiful hardwood floors throughout

2 bedrooms, 2 baths, eat-in kitchen, large bay windows with city views

1,050 sf

$610,000

1,198 sf

$539,900

$329,900 $319,900 $300,000

socieTy hiLL ToWers

3 br + den, 3.5ba, marble foyer, formal dining rm, sunny eat-in kitchen, 10’ ceilings, moldings, oak herring bone floors, 3 gas fireplaces

studio, generous living/sleeping space, open kitchen, large bathroom appointed in marble 578 sf studio, wood floors, large marble bath, panoramic sunset view 583 sf 1 br, wood floors throughout, bay windows in all rooms, excellent condition 704 sf

raw space that can be designed and built into a custom home overlooking independence mall 3,068 sf $1,150,000 brand new 2 br + den, 2.5 ba home, lots of natural light, wood flrs, open chef’s kitchen, designer ba, services available from adjoining omNi hotel 2,025 sf $1,100,000 brand new 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom condo, wood floors, designer baths, custom chef’s kitchen, exposed brick and high ceilings throughout 2,017 sf $995,000 2 br, 1 ba, parquet wood floors, washer/dryer, unobstructed river views, floor-to-ceiling windows 1,200 sf $399,000 completely renovated corner 1 bedroom, wood floors throughout, city and bridge view, open custom kitchen 775 sf $309,900 1 bedroom, open kitchen, wood floors, unobstructed river views from all rooms 712 sf $269,900

baNk buiLdiNg barcLay

$439,900 $399,900 $359,900

socieTy hiLL ToWers

700 sf

$269,900

wAShingTon SqUARE iNdePeNdeNce PLace

bi-level penthouse, 2br. 2.5ba, 2 kitchens, impeccably finished throughout, amazing river and city views 4,500 sf $2,295,000 220 W. WashiNgToN square entire floor 3 bedroom, 3 bathroom home, Washington square views, custom finishes and features throughout 3,720sf sf $2,100,000 hoPkiNsoN house 1 bedroom, open chef’s kitchen, designer bathroom, wood floors, great storage space, balcony with river and south city views 778 sf $325,000 hoPkiNsoN house 1 bedroom, 2 baths, balcony overlooking Washington square, brand new appliances in the kitchen, custom built-ins throughout 843 sf $299,900 iNdePeNdeNce PLace 1br, 1ba, wood floors throughout, upgraded kitchen and ba, custom closets, balcony 928 sf $269,900 hoPkiNsoN house studio, high flour, southview, separate dressing area 415 sf $209,900

academy house 1420 LocusT sTreeT

Corner 1 bedroom, completely renovated throughout with custom finishes, city views, 775 sf

3 bedrooms, 2.5 baths, high floor with magnificent city vistas, 1524 sf

The WarWick 3 bedrooms, 3.5 baths, 270 degree city views, like-new condition, 2000 sf

$1,125,000

$479,900

Condo Fees: $1,169

condo Fees $1,099

Taxes: $400

condo Fees $534

Taxes $374

Monthly Cost After Tax To Own: $4,917

Taxes $228

monthly cost after Tax to own $2,848

monthly cost after Tax to own $1,902

Allan Domb Real Estate 215.545.1500 • www.allandomb.com “wE COOpERATE wITh ALL REALTORS®”

Mortgage Financing available

Jennifer Stuart 484-300-0382

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www.lanesboroughcondo.com • www.bankresidences.com • www.thewarwickcondos.com • www.parcrittenhouse.com

P H I L A D E L P H I A W E E K L Y M ay 2 3 - 2 9 , 2 0 1 2

socieTy hiLL ToWers 210 LocusT sTreeT

$309,900

$479,900

SociETy hill baNk buiLdiNg

RiTTEnhoUSE SqUARE

1br, 1ba, Juliet balcony, upgraded kitchen and ba, lots of light, separate dining room, hardwood floors 1,085 sf 1 bedroom plus den, 2 baths, lots of natural light, penthouse floor, side-by-side washer and dryer 1,544 sf 1br, 1ba, hardwood floors, marble ba, custom kitchen 712 sf 1br, large kitchen, marble bathroom, wood floors 637 sf

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CENTER CITY LUXURY CONDOMINIUMS FOR SALE!



Philadelphia Weekly 5-23-12