Restoring Life Foundation Magazine issue 7

RESTORING LIFE FOUNDATION

Magazine issue 7 Restoring Lives from Adversity to Destiny

Creating goals you love and stick to You are Gods Gift to me Witnessing to Jehovah Witnesses

Full Measure of Glory

HOPE

5 Steps to better friendships S.O.A.P. Friend or ‘Frenemy’?

Change starts with me 10 Clues that your friendship maybe toxic

This edition of the Restoring Life Foundation magazine has a friendships theme, which is an essential aspect to all of our lives.

The months that have passed since our last edition has brought this reality home and shown me as Charles Spurgeon once said "Friendship is one of the sweetest joys of life. Many might have failed beneath the bitterness of their trial had they not found a friend". Indeed my greatest years as well as my most difficult have found me reaching out to those whose hearts I hold dearly, it is through these relationships we experience mutual encouragement through the difficult, and celebratory cheer through the great. Reflecting on this author and poet Helen Keller penned the words “I would rather walk with a friend in the dark, than alone in the light.”

In honour of all my personal as well as the Restoring Life Foundation Ministry friends, those from childhood right up to those I have got to know in the last few years, thank you for the valuable role you each individually play in my life and the life of the ministry.

I would also like to thank all of our contributors for the sterling job they have done: Raymond Aldridge, Yolanda Ballard, Paul Bucknell, Jennifer Clarke, Reverend Pearl Dyer, Ann Lane, Kandi Stewart, and The3dWoman, without whom this edition would have been impossible. It is our prayer that as you peruse this edition you will find something to encourage, uplift and disciple you onwards and upwards towards the high call of God on your life, and in so doing you will know that Jesus Christ is the greatest friend of all.

With Love

COPYRIGHT © RESTORING LIFE FOUNDATION. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Copyright of articles and photographs in the Restoring Life Foundation Magazine remain with the original contributors, No part of this publication may be reproduced in any form without prior written permission from the

CONTENTS Page 6

You are Gods Gift to me

Page 8

Full Measure of Glory

Page 10

Witnessing to Jehovah Witnesses

Page 12—15

HOPE

Page 16 – 21

5 Steps to better friendships

Page 23

S.O.A.P.

Page 26—31

Friend or Frenemy?

Page 32—39

Change starts with me

Page 40

10 Clues that your friendship maybe toxic

Page 42

Creating goals you love and stick to

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You are Gods Gift to me

“A friend loves at all times…” Proverbs 17:17

Gods gift to me is my friend To her love there is no end She comforts and encourages me to grow The growth the love she gives to me Nourishes everything that God desires me to be And helps that the Fathers glory I do show So I thank thee dear Father For my friend my dear sister Whom to my life you did kindly give To enhance me and bless me To bring peace and harmony To live that life that I now surely live To fulfil your plans for my destiny And to live this life in view of eternity Thank you Lord for this my special friend For the friendship you gave to me Is a precious gift I received from thee I pray dear Lord that it will never end “A friend loves at all times…” Proverbs 17:17 You are Gods gift to me

© The3Dwoman 2006-2014

I am beginning a process in you this day that will develop into an increase of My glory, which will bring you higher into the realms of My intimate presence and power, where you will be able to pull down the strongholds of the enemy over the vicinity in which you live. My increase is building, and it is like a shield that blinds the enemy from being able to even see you.

You are in the centre of My perfect will, which is the centre of My light and glory, purging out the darkness enabling streams of My increasing light. In the centre of this light breaks down into the seven colours of My Spirit, representing every aspect of the power of My Spirit within you. My seven-fold spirit dwells within you increasing every day that you draw near to Me in spirit and in truth, that comes from allowing My worship to flow upward and outward unhindered.

This is the day when My people are beginning to enter in like never before have they entered in. I have taken off the shackles off of their praise, and have delivered those who were yielded, from the system of the harsh taskmaster. I am stirring up your gifts within. I am purging the dross that you are made clean. I am taking off the blinders that you may see, and opening up deaf ears that you may hear My still small voice speaking to you. I am giving you revelation in understanding My will, My ways, My word of wisdom.

FULL MEASURE OF GLORY

By Yolanda Ballard Look and see that on the horizon there is a Light burning brightly. It is the coming of My Son of Glory. Remain still and know that I AM God, and that I am sovereign ruler of all things, and that I am protecting you with the shield of My glory burning brightly, repelling powers of darkness, and radiating in My glory is My grace bringing conviction, enabling those to enter into My kingdom of Light, those I gave My life for. Burn brightly that many will see and be drawn into My presence. In My presence there is liberty, grace and glory.

This is the day of My end time outpour of My glory. Breathe in and let My spirit enter in full measure, and as you breathe out, you are exhaling My glory, purging out the dross in the atmosphere. Yes, My beloved worshipers, you are changing even the atmosphere, and the enemy cannot penetrate this glory that engulfs you. The enemy cannot hear your plans, for I am raising up an army, and handing out My marching orders, and My strategies of attack to pull down, tear down, remove, and completely build up all for My kingdom and glory.

Witnessing to Jehovah Witnesses What should I say when a Jehovah’s Witness calls at my Door ? How can I turn their attempt to witness to me into an opportunity to witness to them? In this article former Jehovah Witness Raymond Aldridge shares some vital keys to making the best use of your time with them. To find out more about the ministry to Jehovah Witnesses visit his website www.upfc.org.uk .

But as a Christian, is that the

By Raymond Aldridge right way to respond? Whilst there may be genuine reasons oubtless to say many why you would prefer not to talk people, including Chris- to Jehovah Witnesses, perhaps tians, do not look forby avoiding them, we are also ward to a visit from Jehovah missing a discipleship opporWitnesses (JW’s), such that tunity . After all, they are God more times than not, they try to fearing, well behaved and enjoy find a way to end the conversa- discussing the Bible. tion as quickly as possible, or even avoid the conversation al- Whatever the reason, I feel that together. Why is that? Maybe its there are ways that we can still because Jehovah Witnesses can strike up a conversation that be very persuasive, and usually will be effective and really queshave a slick script ready to tion the witnesses beliefs. So share, just like a door to door having been born again after besalesman; and of course they ing a member of the Jehovah usually call at an inconvenient Witness church for over 20 time, which you may feel puts years, I would like to offer some you at a disadvantage. In addi- suggestions on how we can tion you may not be that famil- make the most of these encouniar or comfortable enough with ters. the Bible to properly defend your own faith, or perhaps you If you want to successfully enare not that familiar with their gage in dialogue there are some beliefs, or you simply don’t want keys that play a very important to risk being pulled into their role in the process—be sure to Religion. keep them in mind before you get into a discussion.

D

1.

Whatever we say it must be in love.

2.

JW’s believe a great deal in works, so they will be judging you on your words and your behaviour, so we need to en sure we are polite, respectful and impersonal at all times.

3.

Be friendly, it is amazing how difference a JW will be once he/she feels comfortable with you. Perhaps make a nice comment about them. Make sure you get their names and you tell them yours.

4.

Do not try to argue or come over like you have all the truth, or are in any way superior. A JW believes that they are the only ones with the truth, so they will automatically block out any beliefs that are not in line with theirs, as a protective mechanism.

5.

Be an “Active Listener”, this is key, confirm that you under stood what they said, or even where possible suggest you understand why they think a certain way. Reflect what they said to you by a question rather than something that appears to attack their point.

6.

Try to pull out a single point that you feel you could provide good discussion point, then invite them to come back, that way you can prepare (including prayer) and be ready.

7.

Avoid being confrontational, instead express that you find their points interesting and would like to discuss more. Do not talk in the form of “absolutes”, just explain this is what you think/ understand.

8.

Last but not least, whatever you do, don’t try to win an argument, remember you just need to sow a seed.

a

With the above points you are now ready to ask some questions, but please only select a few and ones that you feel are appropriate, based on how the conversation has gone, and what you know of them. Keep it simple noting this is not an ideal forum for a lengthy debate, but rather a platform for a follow up discussion.

Important Note: JW’s are generally uneasy talking to someone that already has a belief, and will try to find any justification to get out of the conversation, which is why it is wise to not say too much on the initial call, and keep to what you are confident is accurate biblically speaking. As soon as they believe you have a strong belief that is unlikely to change, they will act on an elder’s recommendation to mark your address “Do not call”, and the opportunity to witness will be lost.

Based on Paul Bucknell's Discipleship Program

Psalm 33:20

We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield.

SEEING BEYOND TODAY TO THE GOD OF HOPE With an estimated 48 countries currently engaged in wars if we look to the world around us we can easily become overwhelmed by fear such that we give up all hope. However with some creative thinking even the most dire situations can often be seen in a better light such that fear rather than we can become disempowered. Below are some techniques we can use along with the word of God to empower you to move beyond hopelessness.

Hope “a strong and confident expectation...akin

to

trust”

Bible.org ● What small step can you make to move out of the place of hopelessness? ● Hope does not solve problems but rather helps us to hold on when the going gets tough, looking into the future for a better tomorrow. ● Recognise the language of hopelessness “ I have tried that before”,” “ it wont make a difference”, “nothing can help me now” “I cant do it”. All f these support the enemy’s plan for you to give up hope. ● Make a list of scriptures that back up what you are hoping for. ● Keep a Hope List. The reasons why you cant give up hope or focus on what you are discontented with. Spend some time meditating on who and what you are hoping for include your list of scriptures.

Micah 7:7

But as for me, I watch in hope for the LORD, I wait for God my Saviour; my God will hear me

H

O

P

Win one battle gain confidence

E

Win another battle gain more confidence

Starting Place

Your spiritual life is like a seed that grows

Our new life starts small and grows

large

God wants us to grow in our relationship with Him

Goal: Develop our hope into a strong confidence God moves us on to other challenges Be strong in confidence as you observe victories

Frustration builds if we do not grow as expected

The Holy Spirit’s presence is key to our new life

God’s Word is living and wonderful. It shapes our lives

5.

Steps to better friendships

By Cheryl Ridener

When we first moved from the cosmopolitan city of London it was to live in a Christian community, during this time our family was cushioned from the reality of our geography, we were after all surrounded by a bubble of Christian love and acceptance.

This all came to a grinding halt when it was time to move on, out was the close knit community spurred on by Gods love, in was suspicion, and exclusivity spurred on by worldly living. In fact on the first day I went looking for a home I came face to face with the local community all its morals and prejudices, if I hadn’t by then woken up to the reality of living on the outside that first day of house hunting laid the foundations to jerk me back into the sphere of reality .

Navigating life is not a one woman show, but rather requires us to identifying those who are right to share the journey with you. So when it comes to making friends and I am not talking about LinkedIn connections, Twitter followers or Facebook friends here, what steps should we take to build good relationships and ensure that we don’t end up as ‘Billy no mates’?

1.

Wake up! - Take a reality check

“... Don't think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves...” Romans 12:3 In the pursuit of friends and friendships you need to realise that not everyone is going to be your friend. So Get over it! No matter how nice, or friendly you are, some people just won’t like or connect with you. Be comfortable with the fact that you cannot be all things to all people— neither should you. Attempting to be everything, will ultimately lead to you loosing the heart of who God created you to be. Jesus was perfect, He was everything that everyone He met needed in a friend, yet He never altered His personality to garner popularity, nor privilege. Moving in the Holy Spirit He allowed each encounter to be strategic, He loved all, rejected none, but was despised by many. Even those that meant Him harm like Judas, was able to become a part of his inner circle. Jesus never allowed Judas’ true nature to poison that friendship, neither did He mistreat or reject him. Likewise you can be accepting of all, whilst still being comfortable with others rejecting you.

Look for likeminded people

2.

Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction? Amos 3:3 Don't team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? 2 Corinthians 6:14 NLT Imagine trying to go for a walk with a person who doesn’t want to go in the same direction as you, what you will soon find is that either you will go your separate ways, or one of you will have to change your direction.

When the friendship takes priority over the path that God has set for you, you are in danger of falling into idolatry. Such was the path that Samson was on when he encountered Delilah, and we know what a disaster that ended in. So whether it is a romantic friendship or your female friend ‘...be careful how you live. Don't live like fools, but like those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days ’Ephesians 5:156.

Don't make friends with an angry woman, and don't be a companion of a hot-tempered woman, or you will learn her ways and entangle yourself in a snare. Proverbs 22:24-25

3.

Put others first

There is no greater love than to lay down one's life for one's friends.

John 15:13 When you genuinely care about others it shows. When you sacrifice for them it speaks volumes. Over the years since I have grown up I have learned the hard way that not everyone who I think is a friend actually holds me in as high a regard as I hold them. This shows up particularly when the ‘rubber hits the road’. As the old adage goes ‘a friend in need is a friend in deed’, which means true friendship blossoms when you are willing to put others ahead of yourself. I am not talking about some kind of kamikaze lifestyle but I am saying that a true friend will value friendship to the extent that it cost them something.

Be yourself

4.

Then God said, “Let us make human beings in our image, to be like us...”

Genesis 1:26 Whether you are tall, short, full figured or thin, whether you are highly educated, didn’t finish school, self employed or unemployed; No matter what your current status, your health, the size of your bank balance or a hundred and one other things people measure themselves by, you need to recognise that you are fearfully and wonderfully made in God’s image. Moving into any situation with the foreknowledge that God loves you can impart a confidence and an appreciation for Gods investment in you. Not only did He make you but He added extra value by saving you. He didn’t even spare His most precious Son, but gave it all to ransom you. Acceptance is one of the biggest struggles I have found in working with women, this can increase exponentially post menopausal as body parts may begin to drift south, but is also at the other end of the spectrum with teens and young women who are under ever increasing pressure to live up to the unrealistic images found on our screens and in the media in general. God made you in His image don’t make the mistake of trying to remake yourself into someone else’s - so be yourself.

“I will praise You because I have been remarkably and wonderfully made.

Your works are wonderful, and I know this very well.

“Psalms 139:14

5.

Listen up

Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak ... James 1:19 In ministry training someone once said God has given you two ears and one mouth which suggest that we should listen twice as much as we talk.

Whilst good counselling and coaching dictate as much, building good friendship does also. A person who is only interested in their own thoughts and life does not make a good friend; learning to listen to others is a great way to build up trust which is one of the foundations to healthy relationships. In an ‘always on’ world the ability to sit and just listen to another is a trait that is sure to make others gravitate towards you.

We see from scripture that Jesus was a great listener giving space and opportunity to those who needed to be heard. So whether it was the woman with the issue of blood, the woman at the well, Mary with her alabaster jar, the blind, lame, or families of the dead; Jesus heard the hearts of the broken and did what He could to meet their need. So if you try to listen carefully to the hearts of others it will surely help you move into more meaningful relationships.

Whoever gives an answer before he listens is stupid and shameful.

Proverbs 18:13

Following these 5 steps will not guarantee that you will have perfect friendships, they will however help you get them off to a good start.

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DO YOU LIKE READING? ●Are you a Christian Woman? ●Do you have a love for books? ●Do you like to encourage others? ●Do you want free books? ●Can you write a 500 word book review?

If you answered Yes to the above then maybe you can write for our magazine. Contact us via www.restoringlifefoundation.org for further information.

A Quiet-time Strategy S.O.A.P. SOAP is an acronym for Scripture, Observation, Application and Prayer. This nifty little tool can help to breath life into your quiet time by taking it to a deeper level. So how does SOAP work and how can I introduce it into my quiet time? The bible is a treasure chest waiting to be discovered SOAP can be most effective if you combine it with journaling and your regular bible reading.

Identify and read the SCRIPTURE

S What do I OBSERVE about the scripture.? How would I help someone else make sense of it.?

O A P

How can I practically APPLY what the scripture is saying to me?

Now PRAY and ask God to help you live out the verses practically

Make them holy by your truth; teach them your word, which is truth.

John 17:17

FRIEND OR

FRENEMY? Frenemy

By Ann Lane

someone who poses as a friend but is really an enemy.

Most of us have encountered at least one person in our lifetime who we really thought was a friend but in time proved to be a frenemy. So what can we do to help us to decipher who is for us, and who is for our enemy?

Asking the right questions When Joshua was going to war he encountered a soldier ready for battle; and as he wasn't sure how to respond he came right out with the question “Are you for us or for our enemy?” Sometimes it is as simple as that. Learning to ask the right questions no matter what the nature of the friendship is can prove to be the biggest eye opener of all. Joshua’s direct question set the matter to rest, this soldier was neither for him, nor his enemy. However, the good news was that he was on the Lords side; and had come with a battle strategy that no-one in their right mind would have come up with. Praise God for His higher thoughts. With this settled, Joshua could proceed to war without hesitancy .

3 signs that the person you think is your friend is really your enemy.

1.) A friends tongue brings life and a enemy's brings death.

When you leave the presence of a friend even if they have had to deliver some hard truths, somehow you know it was for your good. You are empowered in their presence for their words speak life into you. Enemies may try to sugar coat what they say but after a short while in their presence you feel down and defeated, with their words they speak death into your soul.

Jobs friends spoke poisonous words about him and to him. Rather than being a source of encouragement and life in his time of need, their words were negative and demoralising, and but for the grace of God they could have led him to despair. Job 4-22.

The words of the godly are a life-giving fountain; the words of the wicked conceal violent intentions. Proverbs 10:11 NLT

2.) Enemy's are great pretenders.

There are people in the world who pretend that they are your friend, when in reality they are in your life and befriend you purely because to do so, they gain some benefit. Haman was such a man, on the outside he was the king’s right hand man, dependable and looking out for his best interest but in reality this was far from the truth. Haman looked out for No 1, in his mind that was him. To do this he distorted the truth, and in so doing took revenge to a totally new level. Just imagine attempting to erase not just one man who offended you, nor even his immediate family; but allowing hatred to consume you to such an extent that you desire to eradicate an entire ethnic group. That’s millions of lives, to satisfy evil desires all the while pretending he was acting in the kings best interest; whilst robbing the King of a nation of people who God had set a part as holy.

We can see a similar kind of evil in Hitler who plotted and successfully killed millions in the last century whilst pretending to benefit the German people and the world at large. Such is the delusion of the great pretenders.

3.) A friend loves at all times but a frenemy gives nothing in return Tammy and Sarah were good friends, or so Sarah thought anyway. Whenever Sarah called Tammy would drop whatever she was doing to go to Sarah's aid, however any time the shoe was on the other foot somehow Sarah became unavailable. The bible tells us in Proverbs 17:17 that "A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need." whilst you may be a true friend if you have someone in your life who behaves like Sarah spend some time looking at their patterns of behaviour, you may find they are not a real friend, but a frenemy.

Sometimes we can become complacent in our walk with God and believe we have it all together. At those times we can begin to walk by sight where our friendships are concerned, and if we are not careful ,we can be drawn away from God as sweet words lay a trap for us. Scripture is full of stories of people who were led astray or seriously hurt by those they associated with. If only we would seek God's guidance prior to making any commitment, we may avoid the needless pain of becoming entangled with an frenemy.

Genesis 29—31:55 gives the account of Jacob and Laban, Laban was such a man.

Frenemy someone who poses as a friend but is really an enemy.

Frenemy someone who poses as a friend but is really an enemy.

Whilst none of us are perfect and we all can makes mistakes there are clues we can look out for that can help us to identify those who have our best interest at heart being true friends and those who are enemies.

Prayerfully consider your friendships and ask yourself am I a true friend or am I someone's frenemy?

A frenemy can be hidden in all sorts of relationships, check out these bible passages to help you identify the

THOUGHTS AND REFLECTIONS

frenemies.

Change starts with me

Kandi Stewart

Short Term Missionary Sets out on another adventure with God and realizes that its time to leave the church

My latest God adventure started with the tragic Typhoon Haiyan that hit the Philippines in November 2013. I remember telling a friend ‘I thought my heart was in Africa, but if I had the opportunity to go to the Philippines I would.’ Then in the beginning of December another friend called me from USA and told me of an organisation called Metro World Child. I went online straight away, they had an internships in… ‘You guessed it... The Philippines.’

Metro world child is the largest children’s ministry in the world, they reach, teach, and disciple the children living in the garbage dumps and slums of the Philippines and many other countries. I applied straight away.

With God, faith and amazing friends and family I applied and was accepted. I landed in the Philippines in the beginning of February for a four month adventure. When I arrived, the first thing that hit me was the heat. I went to the Philippines to learn and to serve.

I was one of four interns that semester and these young women became my little family for four months as well as the staff that lived and worked in the compound.

Through the sidewalk Sunday school program Metro World Child are reaching well over 20,000 children a week.

My four months was spent learning about the importance of children’s ministry. During this time I learnt how to make it fun and relevant for children of today; making props to create highly visual lessons , which cause the bible stories to come to life.

Manila Metro Philippines had 66 partner churches this required weekly training sessions for those churches delivering the sidewalk Sunday school program. Through this program Metro World child reach a staggering 20,000 children each week.

In preparation we would do visitation every Friday: reminding the children of Sidewalk Sunday School, building relationships with them and their families, and increase our understanding of the children’s lives we were visiting and preaching to every week.

Saturday was the big day where we would play games, sing songs teaching life lessons, and bible lessons from the word of God. This took place at three sites: usually basketball courts throughout the day. One of my sites was Smokey Mountain in Manila, a giant dump made out of decomposing rubbish that accumulated over the past 50 years, this is where a large community reside. Smokey Mountain is a source of work for the communities, residents forage everyday looking for things of value they may sell.

This was by far our largest site where there were about 600 plus kids aged 4-12 years old in attendance, not including parents every week. One of the great things about this work is that children are coming every week, most without their parents prompting, or bringing them. They come to have fun and in doing so hear the word of God. Being a Sunday school teacher for a few years now I went to the Philippines being frustrated knowing that more needs to be done for our children.

Churches on a whole do a good job with children’s ministry, however as Pastor Bill Wilson says in his book ‘Whose chid is this’ “The good always has been and always will be the enemy of the best”.

Since being involved with the Metro World child Philippines sidewalk Sunday School work I too realise that there is always room for improvement. My desire is to see Sunday school expand out of the four walls of a church building and onto the streets bringing it to children who wouldn’t normally go to church, bringing church to the children and in turn to the whole family, community and the city.

Desire is not enough - I’ve come to realise the change starts with me!

If you want to find out more about Metro World Child including how you can get involved visit their website http://www.metroworldchild.co.uk/

10 clues that your friendship maybe toxic

By Ann Lane

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

All relationships have power dynamics these can ebb and flow over time, you can recognise that a relationship has become toxic if either of you becomes totally obsessed with pleasing the other. If the power dynamics shift in your friends direction you should watch out! Your friend might be using you.

If your friend treats others with disdain and encourages you to do likewise particularly authority figures, pay attention. This might show up in breaking the law though consistently driving over the speed or drinking limit, failing to pay taxes or some other infraction, this is not a good sign as they have issues with authority.

Your friend doesn't accept your boundaries; for example, if you tell your friend that they shouldn’t call you after a specific hour, or that weekends are family time and they repeatedly breach the boundaries you have set. A toxic friend will usually give the excuse of claiming that they need help with something or miss and need to see you.

You are ridiculed or undermined in the relationship and often feel worse about yourself after being in their company.

Your friend is subject to angry outburst and you notice that it is increasingly easy for you to erupt into a fit of anger.

The friend tries to get you lie and or cover up for infractions or offences they have done.

The friend wants to keep you all to themselves by trying to get you to exclude others from your family or friendship group. This can develop into jealousy which will likely poison your other relationships.

You notice that you are becoming a clone of your friend or they are becoming a clone of you, e.g. thoughts, opinions or clothing are all the same. To some extent similarities create friendships, recognise the difference between having similar taste and the sinister side of obsession.

Your friend is destructively envious of you, or is secretly happy when you fail.

Whilst they expect you to always be at the end of a line for them somehow when you need there support it is always about them.

CREATING GOALS YOU AND STICK TO

o It is about you

By Cheryl Ridener

The first step to creating goals that you love is to make them about you, nothing will de-motivate you like the demands of others. So if you want to loose weight, get a new job, grow spiritually or a hundred and one other things, make sure you are motivated by you. The internal voice that says get up and do is far more powerful than that of your partner, family member or boss. Just like salvation is a personal choice—no one can accept Christ for you; so is real and lasting change, you must do it for yourself. This desire for change is one of the first steps to making a great goal and sticking at it.

o Create ‘Stickability’ Now you have a goal that you want to pursue what next? If I had a penny for every person who had the motivation to start a diet, write a book or move towards some other goal I would be a mighty rich woman. So simply starting is not enough, creating ‘stickability’ (or the habit) for the change comes next. Throughout our lives we create and establish literally hundreds of new goals and successfully stick to them. Every day I brush my teeth, shower my body, eat breakfast, wash dishes, etc, etc, etc. For the most part these are done unconsciously. What would happen if you used one of these unconscious goal related activities to help create ‘stickability’ for a new goal? Think of it like a post-it note that you attach to your PC or fridge to remind you of the other thing you need to do.

My dad has been using ’stickability’ since he retired a few years ago to help keep himself fit, and agile as he not as active as he used to be . Every morning when he goes into the bathroom he spends some time doing exercises before he showers. He uses his shower to remind him to exercise. Try it– it works.

o Avoid Sabotage Over the years my sister and I have started many things like diets together, one way we always fall foul is by choosing the wrong kind of rewards for our accomplishments. A bar of chocolate or a cake kind of defeats the object.

Whilst providing carrots to reward yourself are good motivators, find rewards that don't sabotage, ,but rather actually move you closer to your goal.

o Make God your planning partner Whilst you must decide to start this process, recognise that your source is in God. Not every thought, decision or goal is right for you; so don't loose sight of the importance of God, factor Him into your success. Psalm 37:23 says “The LORD makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him. Proverbs 16:9 says “In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps”. As you are God’s child recognise He wants to partner with you on this journey. Leave Him out at your own peril.

So to sum up if you want to create goals that you stick to, (1) do it for the right reasons, (2) create ‘stickability’, (3) avoid sabotage and (3) make sure God is your planning partner.

Tel: + 44 (0) 7562 216916 Email: restoringlife@ymail.com Web: WWW.RESTORINGLIFEFOUNDATION.ORG Restoring Life Foundation RestLFoundation