REKORD REKONNECT EDITION
inTENse
An insider’s sneak preview on how to organize 10 days worth of chats with 250+ members, and key highlights for organizers and readers >>> pages 8-10
OPINION
Volunteers who aren’t afraid of a little heat tell us exactly where they stand with regard to feminism, gender equality, abortion and more! >>>pages 11-18
If you don’t recognize this hashtag, you’re missing out big time! See inside to find out what!
4
1000 SMILES
Menstrual Hygiene is one of the many challenges facing teenage girls all over the world. Read about our attempt to help fill the gaping voids in this delicate and disregarded domain.
6 COVID TASKFORCE
It isn’t possible for there to be a global pandemic in our wake, and TEAM RESPEKT doing absolutely nothing about it.
8
INTENSE CHATS
Find out how the series that rocked the Team RESPEKT family in July came about and what you might have missed
11
POWER TO US
12 BRUISES
A heart-wrenching artistic take on what it’s like to be one of the survivors of domestic abuse.
13 OPEN DOORS TO THE RIGHT WOMEN
You mean to say, it’s not as simple as ascribing a percentage and making sure that women constitute that proportion? Joy offers an often-overlooked perspective on the road to ‘Women Empowerment.’
14 PHILISTER
Mary Nyambura Muongoya brings us another eyeopening and heartbreaking poem about another harsh reality in our world. What, exactly, is this? Find out for yourself!
Wanjiru Mwangi explores the progress made in the fight for gender equality by turning a lens on her personal experience growing up as a woman in Kenya.
15 WHO HOLDS THE KEY TO MY OVEN?
If you were a part of the inTENse chats, you know that no holds were barred as we dug deep into some of the most contentious issues in the world of SRHR. Harriet continues in the same spirit with her take on the abortion debate.
16 WEAR ME WHEN YOU WANT TO
Our in-house poet Laura Nyiha is back with another thoughtful take on...no spoilers!
17 NOT ALL MEN
It was only a matter of time before this famous phrase featured in REKORD. Read on to see what one very *female* Atiyya Munir completes that statement with!
MESSAGE FROM EDITOR
Welcome to the fourth issue of REKORD!
I will not insult anybody’s intelligence by explaining why we thought it fitting to christen this the REKONNECT edition, but I would like to take this opportunity to ask you to reflect on what the transition to this world has been like. I don’t think I’d be misguided to declare that every one of us has had our perspectives altered, to some degree at the very least.
Personally, I’ve found myself appreciating even better what all those articles said a long time ago, about screens and the virtual world making us forget what human interaction really feels like. For those of us who were able to make it to the RESPEKT meet up (where some interesting ‘discoveries’
about our beverages of choice were made...), we might have been pleasantly surprised by the reminder of what it’s like to have a one-onone verbal conversation with someone. I was also lucky to be reminded that a lock-down doesn’t mean that you can’t make new friends.
Whether this belief in the power of digital technology to foster genuine connections is a sign of my adaptation to reality, or a transition to another statistic alluded in the aforementioned research papers, I don’t know. I’ll allow time to tell.
Along that note, though, I have to say, it was rather disturbing to think about how much of the world, even today, does not share this privilege of having access to electronic devices and the internet. That is the real trap, in my opinion - especially now, it has become so much easier to forget about what - and who - isn’t within our e-networks.
So as we revel and adapt in this new way of life, that’s another something I’d like to throw out there: let’s
also think about the others, who are off the grid but have just as ‘real’ an existence and just as important (if not more) struggles, as any of us. Because even without cables, we’re all still very much connected.
We hope you enjoy this latest issue! Till next time, with best wishes
Aditi
EVENTS AND UPDATES
Every month, for 5 days, several girls are restricted from living to their fullest potential. That’s 60 days a year! There were a number of challenges regarding Menstrual Health even before the global pandemic descended upon us, but with the current events, the existing gender inequality gap has only gotten bigger.
With the educational systems shutting down as a result of COVID, girls are now out of school and unable to access the required education on Menstrual Health, as well as sanitary materials. Additionally, they lack the facilities of private washrooms for changing their menstrual materials while they are home, forcing some girls to wake up at the crack of dawn to change their sanitary materials.
With the pandemic, it is harder to make ends meet and put food on the plate for families. In such situations, menstrual materials are far from being provided for by the household budgets.
1000 SMILES
Gagandeep Kaur Bhogal
People tend to steer away from topics which are associated with immense stigma and shame… like Menstrual Health. Unfortunately for them, a dolescent girls are part of a society that is governed by sociocultural norms and taboos surrounding this extremely critical and inevitable issue.
Marginalized girls are having to resort to alternative methods like transactional sex, using cloth, rags and even leaves as an alternative to pads. With all the taboos around menstruation, if a girl is on her menses at home, she will not be able to reach out to her family members or guardians for guidance. This gap in information related to menstruation will only further leave the girls feeling vulnerable, anxious and will force them to stay out of sight in their daily lives.
1000 Smiles is an initiative that was started to give girls a real chance at living their lives uninterrupted during this pandemic and beyond. The goal was simple: to educate our youth on Menstrual Hygiene. Just because we cannot physically reach these girls does not mean we stop the fight. We began with the basics of the reproductive system, to the ways in which girls can enjoy a hygienic and dignified period by educating them on how to look after
themselves during their menses. We also paid special attention to how the male gender can add to this conversation and what their role is in ensuring dignified periods for girls.
The infographics were followed with the 1000 Smiles 50 Bob Challenge, where we encouraged the use of social media to spread awareness once again. The challenge involved: Buy a pack of pads (that costs Kshs. 50), take a picture with the pack of pads, post it on your social media using our hashtags and then give the pack of pads to a girl in need. This challenge aimed to create a ripple effect in closing the existing gaps in access of education and availability of menstrual materials.
But this is not all, the fight against the lack of access to sanitary materials and education on Menstrual Health has just begun, so stay tuned and follow along as we enter the next chapter of 1000 Smiles soon...
EVENTS AND UPDATES
COVID TASKFORCE
Angie Nambiro
The Covid-19 taskforce was an idea brought forward by RESPEKT members. The aim was to come up with activities that RESPEKT could be part of. This was in the effort towards addressing the pandemic and matters arising and playing our role
This is because, in as much as the pandemic has paralyzed most of our activities, we need to adapt and continue the good work.
The task force consists of 6 members:
● Motari Harriet in charge of Mental Health
● Gagandeep Bhogal in
charge of Menstrual Health Management
● Tenge Brian in charge of Gender-Based Violence
● Bilha Kipesha in charge of Handwashing
● Nambiro Angela as the Covid-19 taskforce Chair
● Klara Buhl as the IMCC representative
● The Taskforce has been active since May 2020.
We have been able to have several activities:
1. 1000 smiles campaign: This was an MHM project which involved sending out posters with education on Menstrual
Hygiene. We also had a community outreach in Nakuru, in collaboration with SCORA Kenya, EUMEDSA, and Phoenix Vita on 13th June 2020. It involved Menstrual hygiene education and the distribution of pads and food stuff. We are planning on having another community outreach in Nairobi under the 1000 smiles campaign soon. We will share our posters and ways you can help soon.
2. Inuka-Respekt mental health collaboration
The collaboration with Inuka aimed to provide the members with free counselling/ psychotherapy services to help them through any mental health challenges during the pandemic. This was possible through the Inuka wellness app/ the Inuka WhatsApp number, where anyone could be connected to a wellness coach. The program was available for 4 weeks and we are glad a few if not all members were able to benefit from this.
3. Mental Health Online Campaign: Posters were sent out on dealing with anxiety and coping with confinement during this pandemic.
4. GBV Online campaign: Posters were made and sent out to create awareness on GenderBased Violence under the theme “Lockdown without Violence”. This was in response to the increased GBV cases during the pandemic. This campaign was purely online.
5. Handwashing online campaign: As the days went by, with conspiracy theories going around that Corona might just be a theory, people had to be reminded of the importance of regular handwashing and the proper way of wearing a mask.
Takeaway message: Each of these initiatives utilized social media to create awareness and help change lives even If we were no longer able to visit the grounds physically. Therefore, it is important to learn to adapt.
EVENTS AND UPDATES
INTENSE CHATS
The inTENse chats were a series of WhatsApp chats that ran from July 20 to July 29, 2020. The primary objective was to initiate conversation on various SRHR themes, build capacity for as many members as possible, and to (hopefully!) transform the thinking of participants. Topics ranging from Patriarchy, Feminism and Menstrual Health to Understanding the Reproductive Bill Health, Gender Equality, Abortion, Religion and many more were covered.
In case you’re wondering how one even begins to organize something of this scale, one of the Chapter Co-ordinators, Mevin Shahada of Kenyatta University, was kind enough to talk us through the how-to:
Chapter Coordinators
A team consisting of the Covid Taskforce, RESPEKT Chat Coordinators, Chapter Coordinators, and members of the Working Groups had already been mobilized. It became the duty of the Chapter Coordinator to contact volunteers to take on the roles of panelists and moderators, as well as the external panelist. Thereafter, different medical students associations were invited to participate and help with publicity. Representative from each of the groups were also invited to give their comments and feedback at the end of the discussions, which not only helped gather valuable feedback, but to establish new partnerships and strengthen preexisting ones.
Sounds like a lot of work, doesn’t it?
But as the chapter coordinators we managed to reach for comment have to say - it was absolutely worth it!
‘It was an awesome experience. Quite resourceful in the scope of coverage. As a chapter we learnt much from other chapters. A number of topics tackled by various chapters were so educative! The discussions were extremely insightful and intellectual wherein all participants could relate to the various topics.’
Kevin Oyugi, Maseno
‘The discussions were extremely insightful and intellectual wherein all participants could relate to the various topics. Our conversations were stimulating and they made the chat quite energetic. The inTENsity empowered many!’
Khilna Bakrania, Egerton
The inTENse chats gave me an opportunity to get intimate with real-life challenges in the realm of SRHR. It highlighted the large base of proactive volunteers that RESPEKT has and the many third parties in support of the objectives of the project.
Kosasia O’Neil Wamukota, Maseno‘
‘Preparing for the chat was exciting. After all the planning, finally seeing it to its completion was immensely rewarding. The exercise increased cohesion within the chapter and empowered volunteers who wouldn’t typically take up these roles.’
Daniel Mumo, MKU
‘Just as expected the chat on the role of religion in matters SRHR was a hot seat discussion, but also eye opening to hear other people’s views.
The key takeaway was the church should try seeing the views on the matter from the other side and evolve their decision making with the new times’
Denis Mithamo, KEMU, Meru
The inTENSe chat series was so exciting for me and mind opening in matters reproductive health and our society at large. I learnt team work and coordination of an online forum.
My take home message was: Reproductive Health issues requires the input of every member of the society.... it is not limited only to those who are directly affected in finding solutions’
Emmaculate Chepkemoi, Uzima University
In case you missed it somehow, REKORD The Podcast is now live! What’s that, you ask?
This is the platform that amplifies the voices of our youth as they tell the story - their story. These are the young people destined to push for the rightful agenda for their communities, and it begins by not just talking about their stories, but telling them exactly how they want it to be told.
RESpeakers: ARTICLE
POWER TO US
Wanjiru Mwangi
Just as the use of masks and sanitizers have failed to kill this virus, the government and the equal rights opportunity programs have failed. Millions of women have been burned at stake, millions have been raped. Where is the justice to this? I can’t reconcile with the sight of a battered child, with the belief that we choose what happens to us and that we create our own world.
As a child I realized that I was different from a boy and that I was treated differently. For example, I was told to be quiet for the sake of being “lady like”.
As I grew older, I became aware of the threat of the physical and sexual abuse by men. However, I had no way of conceptualizing what was so apparent to me. What I knew was really happening. I realized that as I walked through the streets, I had to be cautious of who was behind me or even in front of me, before I could feel a
hand touch me and say the words “size yangu”, meaning that I was a ‘fit girl’ for him.
And when I came back home with a black eye, mama would say “You are not as strong as a man”. She embarrassed me by saying I was being ‘disobedient’. I could not submit without rebellion. She objected not so much to my disobedience, but instead to my questioning of her right to demand obedience from me and for this, I always felt ashamed of her.
Like a favorite old shoe that no longer fits, we do not let go of our comfortable old selves so that our new selves can be worn. We fear our power, our feminine selves. For the strong woman within, we pay homage not to the power inside us but instead to the power outside us.
I am not ashamed of you anymore mama, my heart once bled and cracked, ashamed of your feminine ways. Now I want you to tell me about how you never stopped fighting and how much of a survivor you are.
Today I realize that the only person who cares enough about us to work consistently for our liberation is us. Therefore, I say “I am the welder. I understand the capacity of heat to change the shape of things. I am suited to work within the realm of sparks out of control. I am the welder and I am taking the power into my hands”.
RESpeakers: POETRY
BRUISES
Mary Nyambura Muongoya
It’s sad to say that I’d known it all along
All the signs were clear as day but I ignored them all the same I saw it on his face when the timid little waitress didn’t get his order right
I felt it in his voice as he spoke to the blonde at the check-out counter in the supermarket downtown
He loved me
He cared about me
He wouldn’t hurt me
I fed myself these lies
My weakness has always been trying to see the best in people
Now my cold shivering body lies naked on this hard bathroom floor
I have bruises on my back
Bruises on my face
Bruises I can feel in almost every place
To think that I’ve been worried about redecorating
Now my bathroom floor is painted red
My baby girl is in her crib
Ten minutes ago she was sound asleep
Now all I hear are helpless little screams I wanna get up and get to her
Hold her in my arms and sing her that song about monkeys that always gets her to sleep
But my legs won’t move and my hands are frozen too
I should have run when I still had legs I should have ru
RESpeakers: ARTICLE
OPEN DOORS TO THE RIGHT WOMEN
Joy Mueni Muli
Women empowerment. This phrase elicits various emotions among us. Women, for one, are elated at the share of the pie they can now enjoy; a flood of open doors that would have previously been closed.
On the matter of opening doors, I recently learnt of the terms affirmative action and tokenism in relation to feminism while tuning into an online webinar on the same. The panelist who introduced these terms noted that a law such as the 1/3 gender rule is one that promotes the opportunities for women as a minority group in society, that is, it brings about affirmative action. Such a law is an avenue to give women equal access to leadership and positions of influence.
On the other hand, let’s look at tokenism in matters feminism. It is the inclusion of women in order to create an illusion of a gender-fair environment. For
example, leadership roles may end up with unqualified women filling the seats, just because, they are women. As great as it is to see diversity and representation buzzing as a priority in many spaces, let tokenism not be used to stage a dire performance of inclusion. Those who practice it ensure their efforts are publicized, seeking applause as if they are doing a lot, when in fact, they have done close to nothing in terms of impact. They are doing society and all other women a great injustice.
My take? I’ll echo the words of the panelist who aptly put it; “Open doors for the right women, not at the expense of competence.”
And a word to all women who will have these doors opened to them. May your qualifications go before your gender. May your womanhood be an accentuation to your qualification rather than an excuse to offer you a seat at the table. And while at the table, please make decisions that matter. Be impactful and set the pace for the women who will come after you. Work well. By all means, be the right woman for the job.
RESpeakers: POETRY
She was thirteen
PHILISTER
Mary Nyambura Muongoya
You told her she was the prettiest girl you’d ever seen
She was green
So you took her to all the places she’d never been Told her all the things that I know you didn’t mean
I told her, Philister, You’re my only sister
Being older than you makes me your automatic baby sitter
It would make me very sad and bitter If I saw you fall for the wrong mister
She replied,
Firstly, I do not like your tone Besides, let it be known
That I am already quite grown
So it’d be best if you left me alone Secondly, I have someone important waiting on the phone
You deceived her with kisses and hugs
Introduced her to a couple of gang bangers and thugs
Taught her how to use alcohol and drugs
Turned her into a rude and lazy slug
And suddenly she was gone for two years
But you know about walls and their ears
I took an eight hour journey that ended in tears
Eight hours just to confirm my most dreaded fears
She was fifteen
With a belly looking like she’d swallowed a can of spoilt beans
How I wish that’s all it had been
For how would she take care of another living being?
I held her sweaty hand as she screamed in pain “Push! Push!” the nurses kept saying And then suddenly she was bleeding like rain “We’re losing her!” the nurses kept saying
Now you have managed to put us asunder Her rotting corpse is now six feet under Best believe that my fury and anger, will strike you like lightning and thunder
RESpeakers: ARTICLE
Buckle up!
Abortion is a bitter pill in most of our mouths. Brace yourselves with a glass of milk. I respect both pro-choice and pro-life opinions. You know what they say - opinions are like opinions, we all have one. I am with the pro-choice team on this one. In my opinion, a woman has the total right to decide what cooks, and when it cooks in her oven. I mean, it is MY oven, is it not? People piss me off from time to time, but conservative lawmakers irk me the most. If I got lost and stumbled upon my political leader’s home, and they decide to host me for a night because I have no place to go anyway, and the next day I decide this is my new home (sips milk), do you think he won’t ask me to leave. Should he go to jail because he defenestrates* me? I mean, he isn’t ready for a new dependent. He reserves the rights of admission.
Oven, city, uterus, call it what you will. I hold the keys to mine. The rights of admission are mine.
I bake when I want to bake!
WHO HOLDS THE KEY TO MY OVEN?
Harriet Motari
Every time this discussion comes up, people like using the misconstrued line from Nerea by Amos and Josh (where did these guys go? It’s been a minute) “Mungu akileta mtoto analeta sahani yake”. Translates to when God brings a child, He brings it with its plate. Wake up and open your eyes! Look it up! It is saa ni yake. But I do agree, that every child comes with a plate -an empty one.
Have some more milk before we go on, pretty sure you’ll need it.
I am a Christian an inquisitive one. A lecturer in my university once told me that I have quizzical eyes. It is my weakness. Religious people say that abortion is a sin- their opinion. The good book gives us stories of how Israelites went to war and killed their enemies and gave all the credits to the Man upstairs. Isn’t it a double standard that He would support one kind of murder and not the other?
Let’s not even start the argument about when life begins. We don’t know where the guy who said when it begins head was at. Huh! That sentence was
something!!
A zygote is not alive; it is developing life-my opinion again. Maybe the discussion should be up to what age of the pregnancy abortion can be made legal.
This brings me to the RESPEKT inTENse chat ‘discussing the abortion bill’.Imagine having 257 young people in one group discussing for two hours with strong unique opinions as mine. It was impossible to bring the debate to completion! Too bad if you missed it. It was quite something! What I wrote is just the tip of the iceberg. I hope there will be Season 2 of the inTENse series.
Until then, stay safe.
*Defenestrate - throw (someone) out of a window.
*P.S. These are my opinions and not necessarily of RESPEKT or it’s members.
RESpeakers: POETRY
WEAR ME WHEN YOU WANT TO
Laura Nyiha
Remember that conversation I was to have with my Wrapskirt?
I finally did!
You know its not everyday I get to wear a Wrapskirt
Especially now that we’re at home
I love my Wrapskirts with a slit
High up slit, all the way to my thigh
Just because I have recently found some confidence
Okay not like recently recently
But like recently of last decade
Even with so much love for my Wrapskirts
Its not a wear so welcome in my society
My dad says it would look better without the slit
But that’s how I want it, with a slit, a high one
So when we had that pep talk
I apologized for not wearing her and her sisters as much as I would want to
Told her society will judge me
That she is a taboo for a woman wanting to be a public figure
She reminded me of another “taboo”
She said, what do you think about abortion?
Equate wearing me to abortion
Now I’m confused, more confused than during my spot exams
What emotions do I stir in you?
Confidence, like I run the world, I say (Beyonce comes to mind)
See? Abortion is like that
Do you want to wear me or those baggy pants of yours?
Not that I have anything against your pants
But come on, they cover you from your ankles all the way up to your high waist
Not just the waist, high waist!
And I know you
You love freedom, you sleep naked at night
You’re wild, you hate being
tied
Do you want to keep that child or not?
Remember my dress my choice?
Make it my body my choice
I love wrapping around your body
I’m just a Wrapskirt anyways Wrapping is what I have known all my life
If I wouldn’t be wrapping bodies
I would want to wrap gifts I love gifts, children are a gift
But are you ready for the gift? I want to see your body happy
Wear me confidently
Wear me because you want to Wear me because today is Monday and you love Mondays
When you’re unhappy with your belly fat
You get rid of it, in a way harmless to your body
You hit the gym
So if you also choose abortion Choose harmless, choose safe abortion
RESpeakers: ARTICLE
I was recently perplexed during a discussion with my colleagues about the violence and harassment women face when the age-old counter argument ‘Not All Men’ resurfaced as a rebuttal. It is time we revised why ‘Not All Men’ is the wrong reply when systemic oppression of women and patriarchy is addressed.
All men are born in a system of privilege. In that matter, they have no choice.
But they have the liberty to decide How to use their voice.’ Farida D.
If we start with the basics, it goes without saying that women don’t believe all men are
NOT ALL MEN
Atiyya Munir
dangerous or abusive. The war against patriarchy is not on an individual level. Yes plenty of men are loving, safe and respectful. However, society has normalized the patriarchal system in such a way that even the good men have the potential to act violently or harmfully because such behaviours are overlooked or even perpetrated. In such a scenario, it is safe to say that women would be wary of men in general, even the good ones, because if they do happen to behave in a wrong manner they would not be held accountable by society. This is because all men have been brought up by the same societal standards.
‘Not All Men are like that’ is a silencing strategy that redirects the focus away from the oppressed to oppressor. We must remember that the
whole fight is not about ‘All men are menaces to women’, it’s about ‘All women have been menaced by men’. When confronted with an accusation against Male privilege, as a man if your response is ‘Not All Men’ as a way of defending yourself; you are essentially making this about you and not the victim. Not all men have done so but enough men have, that every girl is terrified of walking alone on a deserted street. Every girl is scared for her life when a man becomes aggressive because enough women have been raped or killed or abused.
Not all men are predators but some are sympathisers of them. Some apologise for them. Some blame the victims. Some don’t want to ruin a guilty man’s reputation. Some support friends who are guilty. And the rest just
don’t care. This isn’t to say that you as a man have committed any of the above acts but as long as this world is not safe for women everywhere, women have to be wary of any and every man.
You may not have hit a woman but most violence against women is perpetrated by men. You have never raped or harassed a woman but most rapists are men. You may have seen educated women but more women are uneducated than men. This is not about you or your experiences but about the whole patriarchal system and gender at large. So every time you think of replying with ‘Not All Men’ replace it with ‘Men who don’t do this should speak up and stop the men who do.’
RESpeakers: ARTICLES
