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MANifesto .................................................................. 5.

Drenched in floods and battered by winds, we’re so broke from Christmas that all there is to do, my friends, is gather round and give in to the 100% home grown, organic, and totally FREE goodness of CALMzine… Just like-a mama used to make. Begin your journey into this quarterly dose of manspiration with some top tips on how to be a superhero from blogger extraordinaire James Whatley (move over Deadpool.) Nestle further under the issue 21 duvet and read all about the dude who’s being dubbed “the most inspirational man in sport”, Leon McKenzie, and his journey from rock bottom to being a contender. What a guy - literally wow. We also have a chat with movie star and musician, Jamie Campbell Bower, while getting angry and moshy on tour with his new punk rock band, Counterfeit. Plus, CALM Ambassador RKZ introduces himself to y’all, Luke Thornhill illustrates what it means to be a man, Mark Wincott begins the Great British Job Hunt, Gaz Goulding pays homage to the late great King Bowie with a sexually ambiguous story of his own, and Dan Foxsmith takes us all to the cinema in his mind to play the memory that is always on repeat. All that and, of course, Disappointman, Dear Josh, and Chris Owen has a rant. I ask you, what greater joy is there than THIS? Oh, I KNOW - it’s CALM’s birthday! Yep, the Campaign Against Living Miserably is 10 years old. Check out our highlights from what’s been one helluva rollercoaster ride. Enjoy! Need Help? Call CALM. London: 0808 802 58 58 Nationwide: 0800 58 58 58. Webchat: Open 7 days a week 5pm - midnight

HOW TO: Be a Superhero .................................... 6. Inside Man .................................................................. 8. CALM 10th Birthday................................................. 12. Cover Interview: Leon McKenzie........................... 14. ART SHOW: Luke Thornhill. ................................. 20. CALM meets Jamie Campbell Bower ................. 23. Ambassador’s Reception ...................................... 27. The Great British Job Hunt ................................... 28. Ticking All The Boxes ............................................. 30. The Rant .................................................................... 32. Chris Sav’s Disappointman .................................. 33. Dear Josh................................................................... 34.

CREDITS EDITOR: Jojo Furnival ART DIRECTION & DESIGN: Silvina De Vita COVER ART: Ben Tallon VAN DRIVER’S ASSISTANT: Bríd McKeown MISS MONEY PENNY: Celia Clark EL PRESIDENTE: Jane Powell Contributors: James Whatley, Dan Foxsmith, Jane Powell, Jojo Furnival, Luke Thornhill, RKZ, Mark Wincott, Gary Goulding, Silvina De Vita, Joshua Idehen, Chris Sav, Chris Owen, Nic Farrell, Freddie Darke, Samuel Williams, Dan Owen, Nick Isden, Underground Photography Special thanks to Topman and JC Decaux for your ongoing support, and to Rachel Clare for your thoughts and guidance. CALMzine is printed on paper from sustainably managed sources. Printed by Symbian Print Intelligence, paper from Gould International UK. Want to advertise with us? Email

CALMzine is the first port of call for all your manspiration needs. We all have issues at the end of the day, so what do you want to talk about? Who do you want us to talk to? We want to hear from YOU. Email us your ideas and views at If you want the hard stuff, go to the CALM website: or follow us on twitter @CALMzine - Calmzone Helpline London: 0808 8025858 Outside London: 0800 58 58 58


4 - Calmzone Helpline London: 0808 8025858 Outside London: 0800 58 58 58

Illustration: Nic Farrell @farrell_nic




With Batman v Superman out in March, and Captain America: Civil War coming to a screen near you in May, James Whatley explains how you too can be a superhero.

“In modern popular fiction, a superhero is a type of heroic character possessing extraordinary talents…or superhuman powers and is dedicated to a moral goal or protecting the public.” Hi. My name’s James Whatley, and I am a superhero.

Here’s how – in five easy to follow steps (yes, it’s that easy). 1. WEAR A COSTUME A really easy one to start off with; you can legit go and get a superhero costume from anywhere, literally any shop. And by ‘any shop’, I mean any fancy dress shop - ahem. Can’t find one of those? Well, if you’re into your haberdashery, why not make your own? I did, and the end result was fantastic. In fact, I’m wearing my costume right now. And I look AWESOME.

As you sit (or stand) there in your own personal moment of hero-worship, let me share something that should, hopefully, bring an inner peace that you hitherto might have been missing. Listen closely. Lean in. Being a superhero is easy. Anyone can do it.

2. PERFORM HEROIC FEATS I can hear the self-doubt already; ‘I’m not so sure about this one,’ you’re thinking. Well, let me ask you one question: Did you wake up this morning? Did you make it out of the house? In fact, are you a functioning human being? Even if only barely? (Ok, that was a few questions.) CONGRATULATIONS. THESE ARE ALL HEROIC FEATS.

You can do it. That’s right, you can be a superhero.


Illustrations: Samuel Williams @samuelcwilliams

This morning when the alarm went off and you swiped right to snooze for just ten more minutes, did you then, a) put your phone back down, b) cling onto it and blearily check Facebook to see if anybody liked your new profile photo overnight, or c) have a moment of existential crisis as you stared into the gaping void of the rest of your life wondering

what the hell you’re doing, day in, day out? And yet still you made it out of bed?

whole world by yourself, then great! You’re a superhero.

If you answered yes to any of the above and still your eyes are open and you’ve managed to read this, you can mark your heroic feats ‘PERFORMED’.


3. HAVE DADDY ISSUES Not a mandatory but, trust me, this helps. Batman, Iron Man, Spider-Man (it was his Uncle, not Dad, but still), Superman – ALL have issues with the [supposedly] most respected person in their life. Were you responsible for their death because you didn’t like the opera/theatre/movies*? Was he a heavy drinking womaniser who never gave you any attention? Did you not stop a criminal who then went on to kill him? Or, worse one yet, did he strap you into a spaceship and send you millions of light years from home to start a new life whereby you’d spend literally the entire time as a complete and total freak of nature among a society that would never truly accept you as one of their own? Happens to the best of us.

WRONG. Captain America? He’s got the Avengers. Wolverine? The X-Men. Hell, even Deadpool had Colossus - superheroes NEED support. All that loner jazz? It’s a fallacy – scrub it. Call your mates and put together your own Fantastic Four. (Or two. Or three.) Whatever the number, I guarantee it’ll be better than the last film… 5. BE A GODDAMNED SUPERHERO Guys, you got this. Tell you what, if you commit to attempting to help your fellow man, all in the name of being a morally driven human being, then I’ll write your theme tune right now. What do you say? Go get your cape and let’s do this.

Got problems with Dad? Hero. 4. BE A LONER. RIGHT?


I don’t need to tell you, being a superhero can be a lonely, secretive gig. So if you’re down with being a total loner and never really sharing anything and trying to take on the

*Delete based on the most recent Batman interpretation you’ve seen/read - Calmzone Helpline London: 0808 8025858 Outside London: 0800 58 58 58


INSIDE MAN Daniel Foxsmith: The Bin Bag

It’s 2005. ‘Gold Digger’ is top of the charts (best believe, it was that long ago). I’m eighteen years old. I’m sat in a leather chair. Blue, cracked on the arms. To my right is my brother, in a leather chair of his own. Separating us is a sideboard full of crockery and cut glass. Just in front of me, a little off to the left, sit my parents on each side of the two-seater sofa that completes this three-piece suite. The gap between them is palpable, revealing the crease where the cushions meet. Now, let’s be real here. I don’t see this level of detail all those years ago; I’m not Sherlock. But I have replayed this scene a thousand times inside that little cinema inside my head. You know the one, little red fold-down velvet seat just for you and your memories. And I’ve put this particular memory reel onto the projector, carefully, a thousand times or more. In reality he’s older than me, but in the memory, the size of the chair grows as my brother shrinks, man into boy. I remember new things each time I see it. As I write this, this time it’s my brother’s hands, white hands, stretched over knuckles gripping onto the arms of the chair. They’ve got news, have Mum and Dad, and it’s not that we’re not going to Disneyland.


Illustration: Freddie Darke @FreddieDarke

My Dad says nothing. I remember that to this day, eyes straight ahead as he listened. Mum explained. Says after trying to make it work. Says it’s not what they wanted. Says it’s for the best. Says they’re separating. Boom, bomb dropped. Depth charge detonated, grenade gone off. And I can’t tell who won the cry race, my Dad or me. But it was close, I can tell you. Photo finish. In twenty-eight years of knowing him, I’ve only ever seen him cry once. Once. And I’m sure he has. But he’s never shown me. To protect me maybe. Or maybe just for his own privacy.

pen now. That they’re going to take turns staying with us whilst they both find a new place to live. The house is being sold, as is everything in it. The memory-film has worn over time. Stretched. What must have been fifteen excruciatingly sad minutes feels now like a couple of torturous hours. But the end of the film is always the same, no matter how scratchy. At the end, Mum and Dad stand, as if an interview has come to an end. I hug them both, awkwardly wiping away tears. And then my brother takes my hand. It’s odd; part handshake, part man-hug. As our heads are side by side he says, “you’re still my brother,” which has always struck me as an oddly specific thing to say.

But here’s my point. There, in that moment, in that worn-out memory, was a weird slice of male behaviours and patterns; whilst my Dad’s sorrow reached me (by some kind of emotional osmosis, or something) and I looked at my socks with eyes full of tears, my brother’s hands were almost embedded in his chair he was gripping it so tight.

After that we all seemed to take a breath. Then we went downstairs for dinner, (it was a weird house, very tall and thin) as if nothing had happened.

He was holding on for dear life, literally.

That said, my family has never been the same since that day. Especially the men. Our triangle has been broken. That holy grail of father and sons, that picture-perfect ideal of a family legacy has gone, I think, forever.

As if, should he let go, the tears, or the anger, or confusion, or whatever would break him. The memory plays on. Dad has regained control now. A small burst, then back in the game. My brother still gripping. Me? I’m all over the shop. Tears pop over from Tearsville for a visit and decide they like the scenery. They roll down my face, just roll and don’t stop. Uncontrollable. As in, I literally have no control over my eyes – you know the kind – the slightly-in-need-of-apump-football-to-the-face-on-a-cold-November’s-day uncontrollable. My Mum hasn’t cried. I don’t think. I can’t be sure, I can barely see anything. I sniffle quietly, as Mum explains what’s going to hap-

Now, listen, I’m still here. Our lives continued and I’m doing okay - I’m not inviting you to the pity party, don’t worry.

There’s been something nagging at me for years now. Like that bin bag you can’t be arsed to take out. Well, imagine that bag, left to fester in the corner for ten years: the Great Bin Bag Elephant In The Room. It’s grown in all three of us. After the divorce, the family was scattered to the wind. I backtracked on a university place, took time out, promising to return with tales of gap year heroics. In reality, I fell in love, one year became three, and the relationship broke down because I was trying to build my own, shiny new family without any knowledge of what one meant. These men, men that I should be so close to, that I should be able to ring, or visit, that are my flesh and blood, same family, same genes, are in danger of becoming spectral figures. They live on the periphery of my life, and I on theirs. We experience - Calmzone Helpline London: 0808 8025858 Outside London: 0800 58 58 58


each other’s lives through the telescopes of Facebook, email and text. What happened? Silence. Silence happened. It crept up and it crept in. And now, sometimes it seems impossible to stop the rot. It’s 2009. ‘Empire State Of Mind’ is top of the charts. By now, Dad and me, we haven’t spoken properly for about a year. I’m training to be an actor, in a place where you’re encouraged to be emotionally open (sometimes without equipping you with the right tools or environment in which to be in that state of mind). I’m giving it the big bollocks about it all, being totally happy to talk about the situation, cracking jokes about it. Being disrespectful to the people that’ve brought me up. Being ‘open’. In retrospect, I was being a bit of a dick. But I look at that behaviour now, the stuff I put out into the world at that point, and I see a pretty unhappy bloke. An unhappy bloke not ready or able to talk. I wasn’t interested in mining this story for emotional juice at college. It was my story, it was private. I understand now why I’d never seen my Dad share his tears. I stopped taking medication I was meant to be taking without consulting anyone. Decided I didn’t need it. And around then I also decided I needed to go and speak to my Dad. I can’t remember how the idea came. It certainly wasn’t in a dream, or anything remotely as Hollywood as that. I think possibly a very good mate slipped the idea into conversation whilst we were talking about something else, like a secret metaphorical note slid under the door. Either way, I take the long trip back home. Me and my Dad chat. It’s all kinds of awkward, but we get it done. He busts some myths about the break-up that had plagued my head, questions I’d preferred to leave unanswered, but in reality fuelled that silence that had papered the cracks. I tell him some things that pissed me off. We go back and forth. It’s weird, uncomfortable and very, very necessary. We hug for the first time as adults. The same man-hug my brother gave me way back: A fleeting one-arm, ribcrushing bear hug. Then gone. I’ve blown off some of the dust. I’ve taken some of that rubbish that was in that bin bag and chucked it out. I go and get a professional opinion. Yes, I can come off the medication. I’m officially in remission. 10

I fucking knew it. Find a girlfriend. Still going strong. Complete my training. Still going strong. Do some writing. Still going strong. Start a company. Still going strong. So all good, job done. But not quite. It’s 2016. I don’t know what’s top of the charts. And that fucking bin bag is still in the fucking corner. But I remember to try and relax and take a breath, to hold space for myself. I remember to keep writing. Even if it’s shit. Even if it’s no better than the ramblings of a five-year old (who, hands down, tell the best stories anyways). Even if it all seems to be coming down around me, and the shadows are up over my head, I can turn to the things that allow me to speak without speaking. Writing is one of those. I’ll avoid confrontation - you’ll see me running from a fight before I’ll ever raise a fist in anger - but I can say things with paper and pen that need saying. It needs to be released somehow, and sometimes capturing it all in its confused, scratchy, five-year-old weirdness is enough. And sometimes it isn’t. But for the days when it is, a simple pen and paper is like a lifeline, an extra muscle, an extra limb. Me and Dad have redoubled our efforts. We aim to speak more frequently, to see each other more. To just chat without pressure. And yeah, we don’t always get it right. But we try. And slowly, I think that legacy thing from before is fading away, and something new is being created in its place. Alongside this new effort, I keep talking to the people who aren’t on my periphery, the ones who are next to me, because they can help close the distance between the men in my family and me. They can help to push back the silence that fills in the cracks and the crevices. They’re the ones reminding me it’s good to get out of that single-seater cinema in my head every now and then in search of new memories. Because that bin bag from earlier is too heavy and too grim to heave up all at once. Trying to sling it out in one go? It’d go everywhere and ruin all the other stuff in my life. And I’d never get the stains out. Everyone’s been there, and no one needs that. @dan_foxsmith - Calmzone Helpline London: 0808 8025858 Outside London: 0800 58 58 58





CALM charity launched with ads on MTV featuring Nihal, Rodney P, Skitz, Killa Kela and Doc Brown. Tony Wilson a founding Trustee.

‘Dean’: Dizzee Rascal gave CALM his track ‘Dean’, which was scripted in memory of his friend.

Chazstock gig at Koko in memory of lead singer of Ou Est Le Swimming Pool. The Infidel Premiere opened with CALM as official charity.

Save the Male campaign: Video by Blink to raise £100K for a texting service. Ogilvy produced iconic ‘Save the Male’ billboards. CALM Advent Calendar, notanothercrapxmas, featured the View, Das Pop, The Japanese Popstars, Master Shortie, The Paddingtons, Yousef and other signed and unsigned artists.


Stand Up to Stop Suicide compered by Daniel Kitson, with Ed Byrne, Richard Herring, Robin Ince, Phil Nichol, Matthew Holness, Hattie Hayridge and Paul Sinha. Wasted Youth gig at Koko gig at Koko for CALM and others, followed up with a gig at Pentonville Prison with Carl Barat, The Enemy and Dirty Pretty Things. CALM XMAS Advent Calendar featuring downloadable tracks from Sasha, James Zabiela, The Fratellis, Newton Faulkner and Taio Cruz, 12 curated by Annie Mac.


Reset Magazine, later the CALMzine, launched in Topman stores. Cage Against the Machine silent track: A competition is launched for a charity to receive monies from the 4’33” track. CALM is voted #1 by a country mile.

Network Rail provided grant for new CALM website. Jamie Scahill produced first local CALMzine featuring Dizzee Rascal on cover.


CALM launched in London, Topman Oxford Street with Zane Lowe, Rob da Bank, Eddy Temple Morris, Mistajam, the Maccabees, Pixel Fist, Kissy Sell Out, Sonny Wharton, Baxta, Herve, Dan le Sac, Huw Stephens, The Freestylers, the Loose Cannons and Wideboys.

Yes, 2016 is CALM’s 10th year on planet Earth! Here, we cast our mind back over a decade of creative campaigning to prevent male suicide.




Thirty One Songs Album launched by Factory Foundation in support of CALM with tracks from Noel Gallagher, Mr. Scruff, Elbow, I am Kloot, High Flying Birds, Everything Everything, Whip, Delphic and Bad Lieutenant.

Mandictionary campaign launched.

Celebrate! Consolidate. Commit to the next 10 years of the campaign: - Increase awareness so majority of UK adults know that suicide is biggest single killer of men aged under 45 - Provide 24/7 help service - Look for gendered approach to suicide prevention - Equip men to recognise issues - Equip public to support men - Improve practices & policies - Improve support for the bereaved

Tarka Album released, raising funds for CALM.

Check out our ads, music tracks, behind the scenes vids, interviews and more at


Secret Garden Party hosts CALM ‘Tea & Secrets’ tent for the first year. Three street artists paint 3 Old Street billboards with ‘Tom Dick & Harry’ to represent the three young men a day who take their lives.


A year dominated by CALM Patron Professor Green, ‘Suicide & Me’ documentary and the Lynx #BiggerIssues campaign, reaching over 23 million. Male suicide is debated in Parliament for the first time. - Calmzone Helpline London: 0808 8025858 Outside London: 0800 58 58 58



LEON MCKENZIE Words by @jojofurnival Pictures by @nickisden


It’s just gone 4pm on a Tuesday. 4.02pm in fact. I’ve been waiting for this moment. Professional boxer Leon McKenzie will just be getting home from training. This is my window of opportunity to talk to the man dubbed ‘the most inspirational figure in British sport’. Football fans might remember Leon from his time as a striker for Norwich City during their promotion to the Premier League. Finally retiring in 2013, he also appeared for Crystal Palace, Fulham, Peterborough United, Charlton Athletic, Coventry City and Northampton Town in his eighteen-year career. But in order to understand why Leon has won the hearts and minds of more than just Canaries supporters, we have to go a bit deeper... Despite commanding a fee of six figures, his football career was chequered with lows, as was his personal life. “I had about nine ops in total. My knee, ruptured thigh, ruptured Achilles, the list goes on…” Regularly having to deal with the kind of injuries that could mean missing a whole season, Leon’s morale suffered. “I definitely think that this had a big impact on my thinking. There were times when I wasn’t out on the field, and yes I might have been getting double figures a week, but football meant more to me than that.” Playing pro from the age of 17, scoring 115 goals in total, making over 400 league appearances, not being able to play football was like taking the air out of his lungs: “To have something taken away from you that you love, you’ve done it since you were a child, you’ve worked so hard to get to the level required to play premiership, to have it taken away and it not be in your control, I think most people would find themselves in a very vulnerable position.” In 2009, Leon McKenzie tried to take his own life. “It was while I was at Charlton. Injury after injury was killing me inside, I’d been living in a hotel for the best part of 6 months, away from my family, and I wasn’t doing too well. I remember one day after training, I’d pulled my hamstring, I drove back to the hotel, called my mum, burst into tears and said, ‘Mum, I can’t do this anymore,” crying my eyes out.” After downing a dangerous concoction, Leon

called his dad, who happened to be in the area and raced to his son’s bedside. “As my dad burst into the hotel room – can you imagine how frightened he was – I’d literally just lost consciousness.“ Thankfully Leon survived, but his football career never really recovered. “Things began to spiral out of control and I tried to take the pain away by becoming even more self-destructive. I had that attitude of ‘I don’t care anymore’. That’s probably why I ended up in prison.” Leon was sent down for six months in 2012 for trying to avoid a speeding conviction. “I’d never been in trouble with the law before. I’ve been a professional athlete all my life, so it was pretty scary. I’m not a criminal, I made a mistake and paid a severe price.” Nevertheless, from this dark place Leon has risen, like a phoenix from the ashes, to compete as a boxer at a national level. And with an autobiography called My Fight With Life, the parallels between the battle inside the ring and the one outside of it are easy to draw.


“It’s the scariest, loneliest place ever to feel like you wanna give up.” So how does he keep going? “Something has to come from deep within, to be able to see a brighter future. Now, I wanna inspire people with what I’m doing. I’m 38 this year, in a professional boxing ring, succeeding. It’s not normal!” Not only is he succeeding, Leon knocked out Kelvin Young in 43 seconds in his TV debut. “I can only put that down to some special DNA and very loving people around me.” That special DNA comes from father Clint – former British light-welterweight champion and Leon’s trainer – and uncle Duke, world champion at three different weights. But there’s darkness in the DNA too. Besides his own attempt on his life, he’s also lost an uncle and a sister to suicide. “I think there’s a genetic issue in my family… all - Calmzone Helpline London: 0808 8025858 Outside London: 0800 58 58 58


I’m trying to do is break it.” It’s been said that ‘nothing is more terrifying than battling with your own mind every single day’, and sometimes the inspiration to keep fighting comes from outside of ourselves. “My dad is the most inspiring person I know. He just never gives up. And my children, they give me strength and hope every day. It puts so much into perspective.” Any other heroes? Duh. Rocky, of course! “This quote from the film means so much to me: ‘The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place and I don’t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard ya hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done!’ That’s how I model my life. I instill that into my kids. I try and tell them, no matter what we try and do, we make mistakes and sometimes we’re in a bad place, but you’ve gotta keep moving forward and you become a strong person from it. In 2013, I had nothing. So for me to make my debut as a professional boxer that year, I can think ‘wow, that’s how I know I’m a stronger person’.”


Like CALM Patron, Professor Green, Leon speaks out about his own experiences in order to help others. But what was it that first motivated him to open up so publicly? “A few years back, a legend called Gary Speed took his own life, which was totally out of the blue. The sad thing for me was seeing another life go, but what alarmed me was why it had to take someone of Gary Speed’s profile to get people to talk about these issues. When I began talking to the media about what I’d been through, that’s when I started to receive the messages and the calls – ‘Leon, you’ve saved my life’ – and I realised that maybe I’m in a position to help.” It’s in this way that Leon has earned a reputation as being a ‘beacon for the vulnerable’. “I’m fighting for so many people. The highlight of my 16

boxing career so far is beating John McCallum. He mocked me in the lead up to the fight, trying to expose any weakness that might give him the upper hand. Trash talk happens, but when you take it to that personal level, mentioning my children and things related to losing loved ones, or how I’ve suffered to be here, to sink that low… I’ll stand up and fight you right here and now, and that’s what I did. I said to the cameras after the fight, ‘that fight is for all people that have suffered and still suffer from depression. I love you.’ Put that in your pipe and smoke it.” And this sentiment is reflected in Leon McKenzie’s mantra for living life: Fight it. “The reason I say ‘fight it’ is ‘cos of everything I’ve gone through. No one would have thought I’d be in this position now fighting for major titles at the age of 38. Can I say my life will be rosy posy from now on? No. But one thing I do know is that I was in a pretty low place before - I don’t know if I can get any lower than that - and that’s now behind me. If we fight it, we can get through that particular period and smile again on another day.”

So is it football or boxing that has made him the man he is today? “Football definitely helped me to understand what it’s like to be the best I can be. But boxing is in my family. It’s embedded in me. Football gave me so much, but at the age of 35, I lost everything. Once upon a time, you have everything going for you, you’re happy, scoring goals, and then all of a sudden you’re divorced twice, no more money, no more goals, literally lost, living back with your younger sister in her room, thinking, ‘Oh my god, what? Really?’ But it’s humbled me, it’s made me appreciate the love I have in my life.” As if on cue, Leon’s girlfriend is calling him, and the interview begins to wind down. “It’s even more special,” he says, “when you do finally get through the darkest times, and when you do have your happy days, to share that with people that sincerely love you. No matter what’s gone on in the past.” And with five children in tow, there are plenty of those around him. It’s a wonder he managed to fit me into his busy schedule; after all, he has a fight in 11 days’ time.

I put the phone down feeling inspired. Leon McKenzie is a positive voice for change in an industry with a reputation for archaic views. And it’s not just for himself, his family, or even sports fans that he’s doing it; it’s for everyone who’s ever felt as bleak as he has. “I know how hard it can be. Some people get it and keep fighting, and some people will be ignorant and not understand. Well, they’ve never lost someone to suicide and they don’t understand depression.” Leon knows his days in the limelight are numbered - some would say he’s already boxing on borrowed time - but there’s a bright future ahead even after hanging up his gloves. Perhaps he’ll return to the counselling training he began last year; another 3 years of study and he’ll be a qualified counsellor. Whatever happens, he’ll still be fighting. His words ring in my ears long into the evening: “When you want things in life, when you put your mind to it you can achieve anything.” @LeonMcKenzie1 #FightIt - Calmzone Helpline London: 0808 8025858 Outside London: 0800 58 58 58


Spring Trends Preview TOPMAN Digital Editor, Daniel Copley, maps out the trends to explore this Spring We’re about to give you a glimpse of the future. Anybody can tell you what you should be wearing right now – but we’re about to tell you what you’ll be wearing for the season ahead with our top six menswear trends for spring summer 2016.

Denim Details

Pale Tailoring

Denim is one of those things that is impossible to live without – but this season everybody’s favourite fabric is branching out from jeans, and taking on other areas of your wardrobe. You can tackle this SS16 trend in a couple of ways: one, invest in items that wouldn’t conventionally be crafted in denim, such as a denim parka or formalwear; two, layer multiple pieces together to create an all-denim-everything look.

It’s time to move away from the dark and embrace the light. Forget about your charcoals and blacks, this season’s top tailoring trend is all about slick formalwear in pale blues, off-whites and light stone colours. If you’re feeling a little uneasy about turning up to your local in a suit, then don’t worry, this trend is surprisingly easy to wear – and works best when styled casually with plain tees, hoodies and printed shirts.

Go Green Following military’s assault on last season’s menswear, it’s likely that you’ve already bought into khaki to some degree. The good news? It’s still on trend. The better news?

Sandstorm Unstructured and refreshingly simple, this new season trend layers together soft, washed-out shades of sand, caramel and camel to create striking tonal outfits.

So are loads of other variations of green. From subtle sage

The key to nailing the trend is to invest in luxe basics

shades to brighter tones, make sure you add some statement green outerwear and standout casual pieces to your regular outfits this season.

and upgraded staples that fall within the colour palette. Pieces that can help you build slouchy, relaxed silhouettes are especially effective – take Kanye West as your sandstorm style icon if you’re in need of any inspiration.


Cropped Trousers

It’s far too early to be thinking about shorts and shades, but our resort trend edges towards sunnier times with bleached denim, strong prints and short sleeve revere collar shirts. We’ve selected nostalgic patterns, from 70s-inspired vertical stripes to 50s-esque Hawaiian prints for our shirting – but the styling is key, with the shirts worn untucked and open for a chilled, laidback look.

People have been wearing their jeans short for years, but now it’s time to apply the same rules to your trousers. To help you nail the trend, we’ve designed loads of cropped trousers for SS16 – they’re available in both formal and casual fabrics, with both wider and slimmer legs to suit your style.

I n s p i re d ? D e l ve d e e p e r i nto o u r co l l e c t i o n s a t TO P M A N .CO M

REAL MEN DON’T... This is the name of a series of illustrations that highlight some of the pressures young men face. This series looks to poke fun at the ridiculous set of rules that are ‘enforced’ on young men, celebrating the way they disappear when guys become comfortable in their own skin. Each illustration depicts men who are unashamed of their deviations from the supposed ‘man code’. And shouldn’t we all be? These illustrations say to hell with ‘the code of man-duct’. YOU do you. Forget the stereotypes, rules and misplaced judgements that society is already steeped in. Luke Thornhill is a designer and illustrator from Sheffield now working in London. @superlukee_ Dan Owen is a copywriter from Manchester now working in London. @DannOwen Both enjoy drinking cosmo’s.

20 - Calmzone Helpline London: 0808 8025858 Outside London: 0800 58 58 58



CALM MEETS… JAMIE CAMPBELL BOWER Interview by @jojofurnival

At the age of 19, Jamie Campbell Bower was appearing in cinemas alongside Johnny Depp in Tim Burton’s Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street; by 24, he was a well-known face in the crazy world of Twilight fandom; now the frontman of punk rock band Counterfeit, we caught up with JCB between tour dates to talk about anger, life on the road, and finding his moral compass... You’ve achieved so much already as an actor - what has been your favourite experience so far? Every job that I’ve ever participated in has shaped me into who I have become today. If I had to pick a truly memorable experience, I would have to say my first ever film (Sweeney Todd) completely changed my life, both professionally and personally. I was 17/18 when we shot, I’d never been on a set before and suddenly there I was with Johnny Depp and Tim Burton. It was a real ‘pinch me’ moment. I love film, but sometimes I think it taught me to be a selfish young man. I’ve just done a 6 month run in the West End. Being in a company of roughly 30 people really showed me what it was like to be part

of a family unit. The support network that something like that provides is invaluable. But like I say, I cherish every opportunity I’ve had as an actor. What was it like to be thrust into the limelight with the extraordinary attention Twilight received? Is it weird to have so many female fans?! Being involved in a project like Twilight was truly mind blowing. I look back at it often and thank my lucky stars. Funny thing is, because I played a bad guy I wasn’t made to look all pretty and such, so perhaps the attention is unwarranted! I try not to think about it too much though. I’m very grateful, but at the end of the day I’m just trying to do my job to the best of my ability, gain experience and better my craft. How does being in a band compare with being an actor? Which do you find most helpful for dealing with tough emotions? I honestly couldn’t live without either. As an actor I’m able to vent emotion through someone else’s words, by being a conduit, as it were. Whereas with music, it’s all me. There’s fuck all places to hide. - Calmzone Helpline London: 0808 8025858 Outside London: 0800 58 58 58


I’m there naked (sometimes quite literally) saying how I feel, what I’ve experienced and the struggles I’ve faced. It’s hard sometimes, ‘cos I’m being as honest as I’ve ever been and showing that is scary. I need all forms of art to get me through but, in all honesty, talking to people and identifying with others is the most powerful tool for living life that I have in my limited arsenal. How has your fanbase changed since you burst onto the punk rock scene? It’s a tough world to break into, but people seem to relate to what I’m writing about. As far as a change in fanbase goes, we’re reaching out to a lot more guys. Any show we play is a joint experience, our stage is the audience’s stage. I’ve seen people run a mile when they realise what’s about to go down in terms of stage dives and all the madness that ensues when we play, and I’ve also seen people running to the front to go nuts. I can be an angry young man and I like it when people get angry with me. I’ve come to realise that anger is actually an okay thing to feel. It’s an emotion. For a long time I suppressed it. That is not okay. As far as catharsis 24

goes, yes it’s working but the anger’s still there. I don’t want to lose it, as it’s what fuels me. The reality of touring life - the high of being on stage and the lows of hours in a van on the road, being away from loved ones and poor diet - can be pretty tough. How do you cope with that lifestyle? I’ve been travelling around the world since I started working. It can be a lonely existence and can lead you to dark places. That’s why being with the Counterfeit boys is the best opportunity for me. We talk a lot. We share everything. Of course we miss our family, friends, loved ones, pets, but as long as we share in that longing and pining it can make it easier. Is touring glamourous? SHIT NO. But I’m out on the road with my best friends and my brother, the people who probably understand me the best, and I couldn’t do it without them. How do you deal with the expectations of modern life - do you have a philosophy that keeps you grounded amid all the chaos? For a long time I tried to live life according to other

people’s expectations. That didn’t really work. I guess finding out how your own moral compass is set is pretty key. I have a tattoo on my leg that says “Homeward Bound”, not because I love the movie (!) but because I’ll always remember where I’ve come from, and no matter where I go I’ll always find the road back home. What’s the most red-faced “NOOOOOOOO!” moment you’ve had in your music or acting career, and how did you deal with it? There have been multiple times when I just wanted the world to swallow me up. I once went into an audition for completely the wrong project, as they were casting many movies in the same building. I instantly realised but was too scared to say anything, and it was only when they asked me to read the sides for something I didn’t know that I came clean. The casting agent for the project that I was meant to be reading for had been waiting outside for a good 15 mins. Pretty ratchet. What is the best piece of advice you have ever been given?

I can be impatient. I tend to want the world now. Lots of people have told me to take stock of what I have, celebrate it. Enjoy it and you’ll know where to go from there. I do that a lot more than I used to. What’s your go-to music track, guaranteed to get you through a bit of a shitter? There are sooooo many. There’s a record by a band called Beartooth that has seen me through some pretty rough times. That or any life-affirming country song. Yes, I dig country music. So what has Jamie Campbell Bower got hidden under his hat for 2016? More touring with Counterfeit; releasing more singles; more acting work, but I can’t be more specific as it’s all very hush hush right now. You’ll find out soon enough. Oh…. and take over the world.

‘Come Get Some’ is available now on iTunes; visit for 2016 European tour dates. @JamieBower @CounterfeitRock Pictures by Underground Photo instagram: @undergroundphoto_ - Calmzone Helpline London: 0808 8025858 Outside London: 0800 58 58 58





76% of all UK suicides are male. You can talk to us. CALM is a registered charity in England & Wales no 1110621 & Scotland no SC044347



RKZ At CALM we have a merry band of men and women who are proud to call themselves Ambassadors for the Campaign Against Living Miserably, and here’s a chance for you to get to know them better. Reveal yourself…RKZ Tell us a bit about yourself and what you’ve been up to… I’m a singer-songwriter, rapper, photographer and creative! I love getting my hands stuck into anything art-based, so I spend the majority of my time writing, performing and shooting! Most recently I released a new song with Chino XL called ‘They Don’t Know Nothing’. I’m working on two follow-up projects too. Outside of music, I work on photography and writing projects.   So why CALM? I’ve been an Ambassador since 2012, which seems so long ago! Depression and suicide is a massive issue—undoubtedly —that people rarely talk about. Having experienced depression personally and knowing a lot of others that have too, it’s incredible to see the effect that talking can have. Literally just talking. Talking to a friend about how you feel. Getting that weight off your

shoulders could save your life. But the problem is, noone talks. With this silence being the core problem that needs to change, CALM’s message was and is solid: Being Silent Isn’t Being Strong. How could I not get behind that?   What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever been given? Not to rush things. We get worried with deadlines, meetings and all sorts, when actually it’s never as bad as you think it’s going to be. The best things in life are never rushed, and are never taken too seriously. What is your one ‘lifesaver’ track that is guaranteed to make you feel better when things get tough? There are so many to choose from, but I’d have to say Jammin’ by Bob Marley.    What is your one rule for living life? Enjoy it. Life is short, and is worth living. Do things you want to do and never live with regrets.  @RKZUK - Calmzone Helpline London: 0808 8025858 Outside London: 0800 58 58 58


My fellow human beings who struggle to find employment, you may feel like you’re not getting anywhere. In this, my friend, you are not alone. It starts with Internet Explorer or Google Chrome, (other browsers are available), trawling many different websites and receiving untold amounts of email alerts. AND THEN: There it is. I locate my dream job. But it isn’t the good old ‘send us your CV’ type process. No, it’s a company application form. An application form that takes a Mayan calendar to finish. The blood, sweat and tears begins: Rewriting the job spec to make sure it matches what they’re looking for, adding in current job and past employment, detailing the expected duties and how I can do them standing on my head with hands tied behind my back while locked in a safe... The completion of the application form takes over, more important as it is than EastEnders, breakfast, and the occasional pint. Three days later, the application is complete. The closing date is the next day. GREAT JOB, I’ve done it! I re-read it, to make sure it’s perfect. An hour later it’s ready, proofread by God himself. This job is mine. MINE, I TELL YOU! I start going on Google Maps to see if Pret is near my new workplace, researching how long it will take to get there and back from home. My weekly lunch menu starts to take shape. I even do a dry


run to see how the journey will be. Is this what it’s like to be a stalker? The email is ready, the application form from God is done, and - BOOM - the send button is clicked. All I need to do is wait for the email, the phone call, or perhaps that owl from Harry Potter to drop off the invitation to start work. I don’t need an interview, they can read I’m perfect for the job. They must be able to see that. For the next four days I check my email account. No email. I make sure my phone is on full volume and vibrate is on, so just in case I don’t hear it, I’ll feel it. The moment comes. An email from noreply@... ‘Noreply@’ is their email address? Whaaa? That’s not who I sent it to. Then I read it - my heart all flustered - and this is what it says: I write to inform you that following your application, you have not been shortlisted for interview on this occasion. We very much regret that due to limited resources and the large number of applications we currently receive, we are unable to… blah blah blah... We assure you, however, that every application we receive is… blah blah blah. Blah. My blood, sweat and tears ripped to pieces by a robot. That, my friends, is what you call a template email. This won’t beat me though, no! I will not be beaten by a template and a ‘noreply’ sender. On to the next application form. I’ll get the next one.

Will Mark get his dream job? Will he ever get a personal response? Find out what happens next on (search ‘Great British Job Hunt’).

The late David Bowie famously came out several times. He came out as being gay, being bisexual and even as a closet-heterosexual. But during the 70’s, in Rolling Stone magazine, he said that coming out as bisexual was one of the biggest mistakes he ever made, and when Jonathan Ross asked him during an interview, “Do you mind talking about your sexuality?” he looked around himself, confused, and responded, “Sorry, why?”

image. Once I came out as being gay, I explored a more feminine side, confidently sporting platformed trainers, glitter eye make-up, cropped Tshirts and frequently changeable coloured hair.

I can relate to all of the above…

My stomach still flips when I think about the first time I saw her. Until that day people either presumed by my appearance that I was gay or would ask, but this is something she never did. There were more important things we would ask each other and from then on I fell in love with her.

You’d think that in this day and age, having to label yourself and tick a box based upon your sexual preference is kind of old-school. I mean, there have been significant advances in LGBTQ rights, and since Ziggy Stardust these advances have done much to bridge the gap between ‘them’ and ‘us’, but still there is a need to be ‘identified.’ On equal opportunity/positive discrimination *cough cough* forms, if you asked me what my sexuality is, I’d tick ‘homosexual’. Do I consider myself homosexual? Mostly… I gave up the label ‘bisexual’ years ago when I found myself launching into explanations and defending myself when people, including very close friends of mine, would question me incessantly. Since then, I realise I was trying to justify their insecurities and blatant unease with the ‘grey and not so gay’ area. At the age of 14, I joined The BRIT School. It was there, during my early to mid-teens, that I embraced my inner-Ziggy and experimented with 30

Illustration: Silvina De Vita @silvina_dv

My late teens provided the shock of meeting someone who made me re-evaluate my early teenaffirmed sexuality. I was living away from home at a vocational dance college and in walked ‘Miss X’.

For many reasons, things didn’t work out and I hear the sceptics cry: “Because you are gay!” But it’s that scepticism that essentially made me pull away. (That and the fact she was my mother’s age – which was more of a problem for her than it was for me.) She is the reason I will, now, tick the ‘homosexual’ box with insincerity. Early 2000’s, I was in a boy band that got great exposure at one point, an advert on the Smash Hits channel, a music video, radio, TV, magazines and a chart position. We toured a hell of a lot. During a Scotland-promo tour, I got to meet a successful pop group who were promoting their no.1 single. A female member of the band approached me and told me I looked like her ‘ex’… This girl of pop flirted endlessly with me on tour

TICKING ALL THE BOXES By Gaz Goulding and I was extremely attracted to her. Then, at an after-show party, things heated up and one thing lead to another. I still can’t listen to the garage anthem ‘Sambuca’ without thinking of her.

lebrity nightspot and I ended up kissing her. It was immense. I cringe to admit it, but she actually said, “wow”, and grabbed me again for round two.

But she didn’t keep in contact afterwards…

Then the following week I got a text from her: “Are you gay?” Cue the Eastenders outro…

I began to struggle with the prospect of meeting a girl and having to explain that I had been in relationships with boys too, thereby authenticating my ‘bisexual’ claim. So I made the conscious decision to do what I’d done with Miss X - let people get to know me as me, not the guy who’d dated boys.

Turned out, a famous choreographer was working with the Eastend actress’s girl group. She’d been talking about me in rehearsals WITH and he told her I was “flat out gay.” I HINDSIGHT, tried explaining but, to her, I had misNOTHING led her. I was gutted.

Via the music industry I also got to meet a girl famous for being an Eastenders actress. She would call me and we’d talk a lot. I started to really like her, but didn’t feel it was the time to drag out the ex-files - I didn’t know if she liked me in that way.

After that I decided to climb back into the gay box. I made the odd bi-appearance, dipping into the girl pool to splash around a bit, but as far anything longterm goes, I didn’t pursue anything. It’s much easier this way; for those who prefer a majority vote, here I remain. Gay.

Fast forward a few weeks, we had arranged to meet for a drink. I’ll never forget it. Meeting her outside TOPMAN on Oxford Street. I had bought her a bunch of flowers and, with hindsight, nothing said ‘I’m not very good at this straight lark’ more than a botanical handful! She was on the phone with a few people hanging around that had clearly been celebrity spotting. I approached her and she put her finger up to me indicating, ‘wait, I’ll be with you in a moment.’ So I stood there. With a bunch of flowers. Being watched. Waiting. Still waiting. If it were on set, at this point I’ve have marched through Albert Square to the caff! A couple of weeks later, she invited me to a ce-


Maybe I’ll start reapplying the glitter, and those boys and girls who don’t feel the need to question who or what I am, who don’t mind which or how many boxes I tick, will jump to the front of the queue… What do you think Bowie? “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return” – David Bowie

@GazPMatter - Calmzone Helpline London: 0808 8025858 Outside London: 0800 58 58 58


THE RANT By Chris Owen

Tourists Look, I’ve been abroad, and so I have by definition been a tourist at various junctures in my life – and, a weird trip in the wrong direction, drunk, on a tram in Prague aside, I like to think that the vast majority of my time travelling on public transport was ‘successful’. At least it is in terms of ‘I didn’t get into a fight or yelled at by a stranger’, which is, if you ask me, a decent barometer by which to define how well you’ve done something in a strange country. Every single BLOODY DAY though, here in our lovely capital city, (and doubtless others across the UK), there is an inordinate number of dawdling tourists who seem to have not got this memo about how to use public transport. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not having a go at them for not immediately navigating the Tube network, or misunderstanding the wonder of what is Harry Beck’s design icon of an Underground map. I do, however, have beef with them for the Screaming Bloody Obvious. Take rucksacks for example – a lot of tourists do. Now, when I put on a rucksack I don’t automatically assume that as it’s outside my line of sight it magically fucking disappears like a widescreen TV on Black Friday. No, it remains on one’s back like an enormous shell, usually, ‘conveniently’, at face-smacking height for anyone unlucky enough to get within a yard’s circumference of said tourist. Woe betide they turn round mid-Tube, as they turn to bellow “Earl’s Court!” while pointing at the Tube line map at their companion in the next carriage along. Doorways too – how are these such a faff? I’ve been to France. I’ve been to Italy. Spain, Portugal, Malta, America, Canada, Germany, Holland, Belgium… many places. I’m not bragging – it’s a short list, after all – merely pointing out all the countries I’ve been to where there is most definitely a very high presence of FUCKING DOORS. How come tourists coming to London mistake doorways for Official Congregation Points For People With Stupid Fucking Trolleys? Or designated places to play Candy Crush Saga? And don’t get me started on their escalator etiquette. The one joy to take from this is the bewilderment that TfL inflicted with the Oyster card and, now, mobile / card payment swipey-in-swipey-out thingummyjigs. There are few things, unless you’re in a hurry, more satisfying than telling an utterly confused Spaniard that thwapping their paper ticket on the Oyster card bit is no more likely to open the gates than yelling ‘Open Sesame’ at the top of their voice. I guess if we can take one small solace from this, then that’s a good thing. Mind you, only just. @wonky_donky


Disappointman by Chris Sav


needs you!

l Would you like to write for CALMzine? Do you have a photographic eye? We want great writers, interviewers, bloggers, tweeters, artists and photographers for CALMzine and the CALM website. l What’s your obsession, your passion? Music, sports, arts, gadgets, fashion, comedy, gaming – or something further out of the box? Can you write about it, picture it, tweet it? Can you conduct a gripping interview? l We’d love to hear from you, and in no time your work could be on our website and in these very pages.

Write to us at


DEAR JOSH CALM’s resident agony uncle offers advice on your life hassles Q: My girlfriend lost our Sky+ remote and expects me to buy a new one, but out of fairness I am refusing (as it’s clearly her fault). TV is now stuck on ITV 2... YAWN. What should I do - stick to my principles or cave in? Dom, Surrey MY FRIEND, HAPPY NEW YEAR - WHAT KIND OF ‘2015 FOOLISHNESS’ IS THIS? ASK YOURSELF: ARE YOU REALLY GOING TO GET INTO A COLD WAR OVER A BLOODY REMOTE? REALLY? REALLY? YOU LIKE YOUR MISSUS OR NAH? Q: My friends keep inviting me to go to the Monday pub quiz night with them. Thing is, my general knowledge is about as good as my surgeoning (not good – I can perform an operation on you to prove it if you like?) and I end up looking like an uncultured twat. Help? Nick, Exeter Half the fun, sorry, 90% of the fun of a quiz is getting the answers wrong. Come on, it’s like being afraid of karaoke because you’re not Tom Jones, or paintball because you’re not Rambo, or go karting because you’re… anyway, trust that your friends are more interested in having a good time with you than how many useless factoids you can recall. 34

Q: I’ve just about recovered from the crushing financial catastrophe of Christmas, and now my sister’s getting married. What’s the policy on gift giving when you’re penniless? #FML Daniel, Rotherham Bruh. I feel you. I have a wedding to attend this month. Here are your options if you choose to receive them: 1. Go to a charity shop 2. Offer a service: Singing, poetry, heavy lifting, organising, photo taking, DJ, filming... 3. Make something. Go to one of them pottery-painting places in London and paint up a pot 4. Make a video montage with all of your old photos, videos and songs she likes, then project it onto a wall. Trust me, daddy, this one worked in all the films. Q: I’ve recently moved to the hipster part of town (it wasn’t my idea). I don’t have a beard, drink craft beer, or ever do my top button up. Should I make an effort to blend in, or shall I commit to feeling like a tourist in my own backyard? Connor, Shoreditch Never grow a beard unless you absolutely have to. Never drink unless you like it. Do not button up if it’s not cold. Do not ‘hipst’ if you do not want to be a hipster. As a black man who often has to play ‘spot the other black’ because he likes, well… other things (hello Green Man Festival!), I can tell you that sometimes sticking out is a great way to find like-minded folk.

Got a question for Josh? Email us on NOTE: Josh isn’t a qualified expert. He’s just a joker. Find out more at If you do need to talk to someone, call the CALM helpline: 0800 802 5858. Outside London: 0800 585858

ATENCIÓN! Big ups to all the volunteers who have helped out at events this Winter

Shout out and thanks to office vols: Sam, Sarah, Annie, Duwayne, Gemma

Huge thanks to British Transport Police for their continued support in partnering with us to raise awareness Cheers Richard Turner for your magic Salesforce touch Massive salutes to Lynx and TMW, Octopus Foundation and, of course, TOPMAN

Thanks Elly BarhamMarsh, Rowland Bennett, Joe Bruce, Jamie Ramsay, you’re all heroes

Thank you Professor Green for your continued support, energy and commitment

A massive shout out to all our Half Brighton Marathon runners, you were fantastic

A big ol’ “Rock on” to Wyatt Wendels and the guys at Planet Rock All the Dry January participants, hope the sobriety did some good

A round of applause to those who braved a Boxing Day Swim - we salute you!!

Carl Hill who was relentless in organising Gloom Aid, thank you so much 35


CALMzine issue 21  

CALMzine, brought to you by male suicide prevention charity Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM), feat. premiership footballer turned pr...

CALMzine issue 21  

CALMzine, brought to you by male suicide prevention charity Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM), feat. premiership footballer turned pr...