04.20.2012

04.20.12 reportermag.com

Register online at www.rit.edu/speechcontest

A STATEMENT FROM THE EDITORIAL BOARD On Friday afternoon, April 13, Reporter was informed by RIT SportsZone that the article “RIT SportsZone: Rising to the Top” contained information that had been taken verbatim from its website and from the RIT University News article “‘RIT SportsZone’ Recognized at 2012 College Television Awards.”

Upon review, we determined that an alarming amount of content was taken from these two sources, as well as from the College Television Awards website, without attribution. In addition, the author misspelled the name of RIT SportsZone Producer and Director Kevin Roche and mistakenly affiliated SportsZone with the Department of Communications instead of ETC Video Production.

In response, Reporter called an emergency editorial board meeting. We investigated the writer’s entire body of work, as well as the past three issues in their entirety, in an effort to ensure that there were no other instances of plagiarism in our recent publications. We discovered that one of the writer’s other articles, “A Woman’s Guide to Manscaping” (Vol. 61, Issue 22), also contained plagiarized content .

Reporter does not tolerate plagiarism. Our purpose as a news publication is to present the truth, and there are few things more dishonest than attempting to pass off the work of another as your own. As a result, we met with the writer, explained what we had discovered, and terminated her employment with Reporter. The editors responsible for both articles have agreed to step down voluntarily as soon as we have selected replacements.

Reporter has an editorial process designed to prevent transgressions like this from occurring. Once an article is submitted, it is reviewed by a section editor, who passes it along to the managing editor, copy editor and editor in chief. These editors check it for accuracy and objectivity before approving it for print.

In addition, writers are required to list the sources they use in their articles to prevent plagiarism and aid editors in the fact checking process.

The break down that this system encountered last week was an embarrassment and an indelible mark on the magazine’s credibility and integrity. We apologize to RIT SportsZone and University News for the unattributed use of their material, and to our readers for the factual errors that made it into the article.

We apologize for allowing this breach of journalistic professionalism to take place. In response to the plagiarism contained in the two articles, we are officially retracting “RIT SportsZone: Rising to the Top” and “A Woman’s Guide to Manscaping.”

Reporter’s editorial board will undergo more rigorous training to ensure that they are aware of their roles in the magazine. We will be reviewing our editorial policy regarding fact checking and attribution. We will be having professional journalists speak to our staff on the matters of ethics and purpose. We are also looking to acquire commercial anti-plagiarism software such as Turnitin.

We deeply regret and assume full responsibility for this error. We understand that this represents a violation of trust between Reporter and its readers, and we will take every opportunity to rebuild that trust and ensure that these events are not repeated.

Alex Rogala EDITOR IN CHIEF

Nathaniel Mathews COPY EDITOR

Vasia Ivanov NEWS EDITOR

Brett Slabaugh VIEWS EDITOR

Brendan Cahill MANAGING EDITOR

Steven Markowitz FEATURES EDITOR

Peter LoVerso NEWS EDITOR

Evan Williams LEISURE EDITOR

Jeff McKinzie SPORTS EDITOR

Summer is sweet at Brockport!

• 250+ undergraduate and graduate courses • General Education courses • Day and evening courses that fit your schedule • Three convenient sessions with courses on campus and at the Rochester MetroCenter • Over 40 online courses

Live “suite” this summer.

On-campus housing is available in the Student Townhome suites for all three sessions.

Visit www.brockport.edu/ssp/summer for costs and additional information.

Or, contact the Office of Residential Life/ Learning Communities at (585) 395-2108 or www.brockport.edu/reslife.

To register, visit www.brockport.edu/ssp/summer.

Session I Session II

May 14 – 25 May 29 – June 30

Session III July 2 – August 4 Special Sessions Dates vary Contact the Office of Special Sessions and Programs at (585) 395-2900 or email summer@brockport.edu for more information.

SummerSession ’12

TRIAL BY FIRE EDITOR IN CHIEF Alex Rogala

“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better.” – Samuel Beckett

| eic@reportermag.com

It has been the weirdest month.

MANAGING EDITOR Brendan Cahill

On Saturday, March 10, I stepped in as editor in chief. Roughly one month later, I’m writing this editorial in

| managing.editor@reportermag.com COPY EDITOR Nathaniel Mathews

the wake of the great Distorter fiasco and amidst a serious retraction.

Throughout both ordeals, I’ve heard multiple faculty members and administrators describe each situation

| copy.editor@reportermag.com

as, “a learning experience.” At first, it struck me as an odd, distant statement — the sort of buzzword you

NEWS EDITORS Vasia Ivanov

might hear a publicist use. However, I think it really sums up another key point: Mistakes are one of the

Peter LoVerso

greatest sources of knowledge available to man.

| news@reportermag.com

It comes from this: At its core, RIT is a business. It delivers a product — knowledge — to paying customers.

LEISURE EDITOR Evan Williams

RIT’s Student Rights and Responsibilities Guide admits RIT is not in loco parentis; as a student, you

| leisure@reportermag.com

are accountable for your own actions. And while this is probably more for legal reasons, it’s as good an

FEATURES EDITORS Brendan Cahill

educational experience as ever.

Steven Markowitz

As much as much as your parents may protest, learning isn’t restrained to your classes. While I’ve learned

| features@reportermag.com

greatly in many of my classes. I’ve also grown as a person by getting lost downtown or participating in late

SPORTS EDITOR Jeff McKinzie

night clarinet-fueled jam sessions.

| sports@reportermag.com

I won’t deny it — it feels terrible to watch a close friend leave staff because of something you could have

VIEWS EDITOR Brett Slabaugh

prevented. Firing someone isn’t easy, either. And unfortunately, I lack the power to defy sleep, regardless of

| views@reportermag.com

how much work I have due.

WRITERS Nolan Harris Jr., William Hirsh, Amanda Imperial, Steven Markowitz,

I’m not recommending you to go off the deep end or do something drastic. It’s important to develop maintain you own strong ethical code. Instead, I’m encouraging you, the reader, to take at least one risk.

Break out of the norm, just for a day.

ART ART DIRECTOR Lauren Bolger | art.director@reportermag.com SENIOR STAFF DESIGNER Simon Jones STAFF DESIGNERS Jon Lavalley, Jiwon Lim PHOTO EDITOR Juan Madrid

Alex Rogala EDITOR IN CHIEF

James Arn

| photo@reportermag.com CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS Katie Thompson, Joshua Barber, Brett Carlsen, Jonathan Foster, STAFF ILLUSTRATOR CONTRIBUTING ILLUSTRATORS Zac Retz, Erica Landers, Camille Kornacki CARTOONIST Emily DeVault

BUSINESS PUBLICITY MANAGER Anna Hazelwood AD MANAGER Julia Morrow

TABLE OF CONTENTS

04.20.12 | VOLUME 61 | ISSUE 26

| ads@reportermag.com BUSINESS MANAGER Lia Hoffmann | business.manager@reportermag.com PRODUCTION MANAGER Nicholas Gawreluk | production.manager@reportermag.com ONLINE PRODUCTION MANAGER Jake DeBoer | webmaster@reportermag.com

NEWS

6. News Desk

It’s that time of year again.

8. Meet the Candidates

What is your impression of SG?

14. Rings

Liquid love and LOTR.

Vote for your favorite candidate.

cover photograph by Katie Thompson

SPORTS

Members of the RIT Gay Alliance (from left to right) Paul Sirra, Jillian Strobeck, Rob Filipkowski, Chris Sasarak.

ADVISOR Rudy Pugliese PRINTING Printing Applications Lab CONTACT 1.800.970.5406

13. Word on the Street

10. A Day in the Life of Crew Row your boat.

Please Recycle

Reporter Magazine is published weekly during the academic year by a staff comprised of students at Rochester Institute of Technology. Business, Editorial and Design facilities are located in Room A-730, in the lower level of the Campus Center located in the Student Alumni Union. Our phone number is 1.585.475.2212. The Advertising Department can be reached at 1.585.475.2213. The opinions expressed in Reporter do not necessarily reflect those of the Institute. RIT needs to build soundproofed rooms where you can scream your lungs out. Hello Week 7. Letters to the Editor may also be sent to reporter@rit.edu. Reporter is not responsible for materials presented in advertising areas. No letters will be printed unless signed. All letters received become the property of Reporter. Reporter takes pride in its membership in the Associated Collegiate Press and American Civil Liberties Union. Copyright © 2009 Reporter Magazine. All rights reserved. No portion of this Magazine may be reproduced without prior written permission.

5

BEYOND THE BRICKS

by Nolan Harris Jr. with contributions by Peter LoVerso| illustration by Camille Kornacki

NSA BUILDING AMERICA’S LARGEST SPY CENTER According a March 15 Wired feature, the National Security Agency is currently constructing the nation’s largest spy center in Bluffdale, Utah — a facility that, “once built … will be more than five times the size of the US Capitol.”

The $2 billion Utah Data Center’s purpose is to “intercept, decipher, analyze and store vast swaths of the world’s communications as they zap down from satellites and zip through the underground and undersea cables of international, foreign and domestic networks,” writer James Bamford states in the article.

The article states that the facility will be equipped with the means to break encryption on most communications, including foreign military secrets, financial information, and personal correspondences. All data will be processed and saved in the facility’s one million square feet of servers and data storage, which are equipped to handle more than a yottabyte (one trillion terabytes) of data. More than 20 terabytes of data per second will be processed, streaming in from satellites, other NSA offices, and listening posts around the world.

The center’s aim is to monitor all communications of foreign interests and the more than one million people on the NSA watch lists. Authorized, standardized spying on U.S. citizens of this sort has not happened since the scandals of the Nixon administration, and never before on this scale.

SG UPDATE 04.13.12

by Steven Markowitz

STUDENT SUPPORT SOFTWARE DISCUSSED On Friday, April 13, members of Student Government heard a pitch for a program called College and University Thrive (CU Thrive), a web-based program developed by the National Association of Student Personal Administrators (NASPA).

According to NASPA presenters, the program aims to help students overcome personal problems by connecting them to resources, including articles, student stories and expert advice. CU Thrive categorizes these problems into seven sections: campus life; daily living; emotional well-being; fitness and nutrition; sexual health; dependency and relationships.

According to SG Vice President Phil Amsler and a later clarification email from Assistance Vice President for Student Affairs Dawn Soufleris, RIT is considering purchasing the program because pending federal recommendations may change how schools such as RIT can interact with at-risk students.

“There are a lot of students out there who are struggling, and they need a resource and don’t know where to go,” said SG President Greg Pollock. “It’s important to have a place where people can go for reliable campus sources.”

However, there was concern from the student body about whether people will actually use the service. Since the program is still in a preliminary testing stage, the company could not provide success or retention rates.

Another question that was raised was why RIT could not build a similar program of its own. “This website is so impersonal…,” said OUTspoken President Tristan Sparrow, mentioning that he could not see himself using the site. “I would rather see something that we, as a campus, put together for our students that has that information specific to RIT.” Sparrow also questioned the site’s inclusiveness of the GLBT community.

Responding to his and others’ concerns, NASPA presenters acknowledged that while the site features GLBT resources, it currently lacks transgender health articles and features little support for NTID students. They stated NASPA hopes this will be remedied once the program launches and students begin submitting their own articles.

At this point, RIT has not made a formal decision on whether to purchase the software.

04.20.12

FACEBOOK’S $1 BILLION ACQUISITION Social media behemoth Facebook announced its acquisition of smartphone photo-sharing app Instagram for “$1 billion in cash and stock deal,” reported the Huffington Post on Monday, April 9. The two-year-old San Francisco-based startup enjoyed a base, among Apple iOS devices alone, of 30 million users and recently released a version of the app for Android devices.

The purchase is described by the Huffington Post as Facebook’s “attempt … to maintain dominance in an area that has proved one of its stickiest and most popular features: photo sharing.” According to a late-2011SEC filing by the social media giant, users posted an average of about 250 million photos daily; a comScore report finds that users spent about “one-fifth of their time on the site browsing photos.”

Despite the acquisition of Instagram, Facebook CEO and co-founder Mark Zuckerberg posted an update to his Facebook profile, mentioning the company’s commitment to “building and growing Instagram independently,” reports Huffington Post.

Thus, “Instagram users will continue to have the ability to share photos to other social networking sites besides Facebook (and also abstain from sharing Instagram photos with Facebook), and will be able to keep their Instagram follower lists distinct from their Facebook friend groups,” Zuckerberg wrote.

SANTORUM ENDS PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN In a Tuesday, April 10, announcement, former Pennsylvania Senator and presidential hopeful Rick Santorum declared that he was ending his bid for the White House. According to CNN, the move followed the hospitalization of Santorum’s 3-year-old daughter, Bella, a special-needs child with the potentially fatal Trisomy 18.

The announcement came amid increasing skepticism that there existed a tenable path forward for the Santorum campaign, as candidate Mitt Romney emerged as the frontrunner.

Coupled with the Pennsylvania primary, where poll numbers presaged an unfavorable outcome for the hometown politician, Santorum’s exit seemed inevitable.

Though his presidential race is over, Santorum averred, “…we are not done fighting,” and recounted his campaign’s victories: “Against all odds we won 11 states, millions of voters, millions of votes,” and added that he had developed a “deeper love for this country” over the course of his campaign. Pundits speculate about his interest in a 2016 bid for the White House, given his national rise this election season.

FORECAST FRI 20

by Amanda Imperial

GRAY MATTER

Idea Factory, Wallace Library (WAL, 05). 12 – 1 p.m. The topic of this month’s discussion will be about RIT’s efforts to make women feel equal to men on our male-heavy campus, and what it could be doing to the female ego.

Cost: Free.

SAT 21

TORACON 2012

Al Davis Room (Cafeteria), Student Alumni Union (SAU, 04). 8 a.m. – 12 a.m. Sunday. Anime Club’s annual convention for geeks and chics alike! Dress up or go casual with your favorite anime t-shirt and blend into the crowd.

Cost: $30.

SUN 22

“THE GLASS MENAGERIE”

1510 Lab Theatre, Lyndon Baines Johnson Hall (LBJ, 60).

2 – 4 p.m. Come see a performance of the famous drama written by Tennessee Williams, performed in ASL with voice actor assistance. Limited to 70 seats.

Cost: Free.

MON 23

HUMANS VS. ZOMBIES SPRING 2012

Whole Campus – outside. It’s that time again! The week-long, campus-wide competition of tactic and skill where students take on other students in a faux zombie apocalypse.

Cost: $5 for first-time players.

TUE 24

GEEKS WHO DRINK PUB QUIZ

Jeremiah’s Tavern, 1104 Monroe Ave. 8 – 10 p.m. A fun and fast quiz where geeks gather and show off what they know.

Competition, socializing with strangers and food.

Cost: Free.

WED 25

RAINBOW SAGE ON THE ROAD

Henrietta Public Library, 455 Calkins Rd. 1 – 2 p.m.

Connect with the GLBT community in a public setting.

The event includes potluck dinner, dancing, movie nights and games!

Cost: Free.

THUR 26 GLUTEN-FREE TASTING Rosario Pino’s Artisan Foods, 349 W. Commercial St. 5 – 8 p.m. Bet you won’t be able to taste the difference in these delicious foods. This food-tasting event is great for the Gluten free community, or any interested food lovers.

Cost: Free.

7

MEET THE CANDIDATES // the 2012 sg elections

by Peter Loverso

VICTOR SANTIAGO and

MARK LEONARDO II “

We want everyone to be aware of how SG can help them. People don’t know about the services SG offers for free.

photograph courtesy of Brandon Mercer

Citing their experience with campus leadership, Victor Santiago and Mark Leonardo II want to share the opportunities they’ve found over the years with the rest of campus.

Santiago, a fourth year Graphic Design major and presidential candidate, has worked for CAB for several years, and has experience as both an RA and an Orientation Assistant. He is also knowledgeable about the campus, having worked as a tour guide for prospective students.

Leonardo, the vice presidential hopeful, is a fourth year Multidisciplinary Studies major. He has been a member of RIT’s Leadership Institute for three years and boasts one year as the organization’s president. He is also a peer mentor, has worked as an Orientation Assistant and is the director of the Greek programming board, where he learned how to effectively organize events on campus.

Both students have emphasized their willingness to surrender their current positions in order to devote time to SG. If elected, the pair hopes to emphasize the services SG offers students, as well as work to increase the organization’s visibility on campus. “We want everyone to be aware of how SG can help them,” says Santiago. “A lot of people don’t know about the services that SG offers, [including] a legal service to students, as well as transportation with the SG vans, large banner printing and funding for clubs.”

The pair also wants to increase awareness for the lesser-known clubs on campus, giving a voice and visibility to the accomplishments of

8 News | 04.20.12

”

smaller groups who tend to fly under the radar.

Additional student participation in SG is another priority for Santiago and Leonardo. Students are free to come to any and all meetings to speak to SG and tell them what they want. However, they say it is exceedingly rare for anyone to actually do so. But Santiago has ideas to help bring SG to the students — literally. He plans to hold several SG meetings outdoors in the center of the Infinity Quad, and allow any student walking by to speak their mind.

Santiago and Leonardo also hope to increase integration between NTID and the rest of campus, bridging the communication gap.

Both Santiago and Leonardo are fluent in ASL — they have worked as teachers at No Voice Zone — and they are committed to bringing the two halves of campus together. The NTID and mainstream communities each have a large number of opportunities and activities, and Santiago and Leonardo feel there is very little crossover between the two. They feel NTID has a unique culture which most mainstream students do not experience, and they hope to bring the two on-campus communities together.

With the school year drawing to a close, Student Government (SG) is electing a new board of senators and, to lead them, a new President and Vice President. With elections running online at http://vote.rit.edu from Monday, April 23 through Thursday, April 26, there isn’t much time left. REPORTER sat down with both sets of candidates, and spoke with them about their plans for next year.

TAYLOR DEER and

SARAH THOMAS “

There are so many ways to get involved. The campus has socially shifted to more of a campus life experience focus.

”

photograph courtesy of Evan Theroux

Both SG veterans, Taylor Deer and Sarah Thomas hope to reform many aspects of campus life — focusing particularly on clubs, student resources and the RIT community.

Deer, presidential candidate and fourth year Business Management major, is an active member of the Phi Kappa Psi fraternity and is currently SG’s greek senator. Thomas is a second year Finance student who hopes to become the new Vice President. She was freshman senator last year and is currently the organization’s director of student relations — in addition to being an RA. Both Deer and Taylor have emphasized their past experience as a part of SG to show their leadership capability.

The pair states they value student feedback, and want to ensure that everyone has a voice. They want to put themselves out on the campus, ask students what they want and listen to them. Their three main stated goals are to be more proactive, enhance student life and create a student community.

If elected, the two plan to immediately start working towards the goals they have set for themselves. One major group of goals involves the RIT club system; the pair noticed that RIT has undergone a social shift in the past few years, to be more focused on clubs and activities.

“RIT, five or 10 years ago, was almost wholly academic. People would come here, get a great education, and then would leave,” says Thomas.

“They weren’t as connected to the campus. But now we have over 280 clubs and many other major organizations. There are so many ways to

get involved — the campus has socially shifted to more of a campus life experience focus.”

Among other things, they hope to create a system to link similar clubs together, so that collaboration is easier. They also hope to create a system for recognition of lesser-known clubs, so that student accomplishments can be better seen and celebrated throughout campus. This same system would also be used for easy, campus-wide club advertising. They hope this will help the campus be more engaged with the social activities going on around them.

The pair would also like to see greater NTID integration into the mainstream part of campus. Along this vein, they would like to improve the event registration system for clubs, making it easier to use access services so that hard-of-hearing support will be present.

They would also like to like to run additional ASL workshops to help improve communication between the groups of students, especially within clubs.

The pair a lso wants to utilize student ta lent when ma k ing improvements or adding new services, looking internally before attempting to purchase third-party services. They wish to expand the TE3 bus route to include other parts of downtown Rochester, as well as to raise additional awareness of the presence of the academicside tunnel systems and to install CCTV cameras in the University Commons parking lots.

9

a DAY in the

LIFE of CREW T

Fielding Confer yawns while setting up a rowing machine around 5:40 a.m. to warm up for a practice on the water.

10 Sports | 04.20.12

by William Hirsh photographs by Joshua Barber

he alarm goes off; it’s not even five in the morning. Every week, Monday to Friday, members of the RIT Crew team wake up at this hour. Once ready to leave, they make their way to the Gosnell Boathouse for the practice that awaits them.

Chris Guerra, a fifth year Mechanical Engineering student and captain of the Men’s Crew team, said that this was a part of the team’s regular routine during the season. “We get to the boat house around five or five-thirty,” said Guerra. “We get there, we warm up, have a quick meeting with our coach and then we try to get on the dock around six o’clock.”

The team, once in their shells (a specialized kind of boat), really begins to practice for their races. Guerra and the rest of the team in their eight man shells then drill race pieces or specific sections of race. Practicing beginning, middle, and ending pieces, the Crew team is able to conserve their stamina while in mid-race and adjust to most scenarios.

Now in his fourth year, Guerra has been an active member of the RIT Crew team, rowing in the first V8 or eight-man shell. Due to a broken

arm, he was unable to row in his third year and went on co-op instead. With that in mind, Guerra has been in the sport for much longer. “I rowed for four years in high school,” said Guerra. “Age-wise, I’ve been rowing since the age of 13.”

Fielding Confer, third year Chemical Engineering major, is now in his second year with the team, having joined in the fall of 2010. Unlike Guerra, Confer has had no prior history with the sport. “It was my first ever year rowing,” said Confer. “Probably the two [activities] that were the closest to rowing were biking and kayaking.” Confer’s desire to try crew led him to join the novice team with 20 other students and worked his way up to the varsity team.

Confer describes Crew as not only physically challenging, but rewarding as well.

“It’s kind of a love-hate relationship,” says Confer. “You’ll be miserable one day because you have to wake up early and you don’t want to be there or sometimes you’re just tired.

But all you need is a good row and it makes it worth it.”

Now racing in the first eight man shell, Confer said that while during the season that each member of the team has to work out their little quirks, often the biggest hurdles comes from training during the off-season.

“Just staying conditioned is a huge challenge,” said Confer. “It’s not so much physical as it is mental. You just have to commit yourself to it and concentrate.”

Timothy Walsch, a first year Mechanical Engineering major, joined Crew at the start of Fall Quarter. Practicing first with the novice team formed at the beginning of the year, Walsch then moved on to row with the second eight-man shell when four other players quit over Winter Quarter. Having only played Baseball and Basketball until his sophomore year of high school, Walsch joined Crew, which was a sport he had always wanted to try.

With their intensive practice schedules, Walsch thought that Spring Quarter was particularly challenging to balance athletics and academics. “Fall was pretty easy but spring has probably been the hardest to balance because we have practice in the morning” said Walsch.

Through all their hard work, Walsch finds that the team takes time to help each other out. “I plan on coming back on the team next year,” said Walsch. “Everyone on the team is really cool and supportive.”

Sean Kennelly rests holding the blade of his paddle on the surface of the water as the four forwardmost rowers work drills during the beginning of a morning practice.

Assistant Coach Ben Pfeiffer talks to the Men’s Varsity Eight boat before heading out on the water for an afternoon practice.

The Men's Varsity Eight boat heads down stream back to Gosnell Boathouse during an afternoon practice.

Evan Moreshead washes down the Men's Varsity Eight racing shell prior to loading it on a trailer for travel at the next day's race.

11

Word

on the

Street

What’s Your

Impression of

SG?

photographs by Juan Madrid

"I don't pay them any mind."

“I think it’s a good program and people should support them more because they don’t get enough support. It’s a good group for RIT.”

PATRICK O’CONNELL Mechanical Engineering, Fourth Year

MCKENZIE SWIFT Criminal Justice, First Year

"They're doing a really great job."

NUR ILY ALYEA AZMAN Finance, Second Year

12 Leisure | 04.20.12 10 01.20.12

left

“I didn’t have a student government at my old school.

It’s good that students can get involved.”

JOSE RIJO

right

International Business, Third Year

13

585 672 4840 All calls subject to editing and truncation. Not all calls will be run.

REPORTER reserves the right to publish all calls in any format compiled by Michelle Spoto

SUNDAY, 10:34 p.m. (FROM TEXT)

TUESDAY 5:20 p.m. (FROM TEXT)

To whoever keeps putting bubble bath soap into the useless fountain near Global Village, YOU ARE MY HERO.

RIT now has two–COUNT EM–2 swings.

I can now rest well at night knowing that my tuition dollars were well spent.

TUESDAY, 9:00 p.m. (FROM TEXT)

TUESDAY, 2:55 a.m. (FROM TEXT)

THURSDAY, 2:55 a.m. (FROM TEXT)

RINGS, I’m looking forward to

I am at the lounge by Beanz at

hearing from you! Can’t wait to

3 a.m. finishing homework as the

see all the fancy euphemisms

awkward couple on the couch

you put over our complaints

in front of me are making out

about the [liquid love] trees.

and getting into it...

Playing a LORD OF THE RINGS DRINKING GAME with my girlfriend after a good [HOBBIT-HOLING].

TOP THAT, NERDS.

AM I INVISIBLE? WEDNESDAY 3:18 P.M. (FROM TEXT)

FRIDAY, 11:45 a.m. (FROM TEXT)

Please be considerate of others when taking your shoes off in study lounges.

THERE BE SOME FUNK IN THARR.

Heyo RINGS! I found RITchie. Where my money at? DON’T MAKE ME ADD TO MY KNEECAP COLLECTION...

FRIDAY, 3:18 p.m. (FROM TEXT)

FRIDAY, 6:57 p.m. (FROM TEXT)

WHY DID YOU TIP ME TO GET FRISKY IN THE LIBRARY? This tip just makes me more wary of THE STAINS IN THE BOOKS I do check out.

Uhhhh RINGS? I just saw a jogger try to chase after a goose by going off the walking path and into the grass. THAT [SPITEFUL WOMAN] WENT

OUT OF HER WAY.

15

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