JOT TRAVIS BUILDING, UNIVERSITY OF NEVADA, RENO: MFA Midway Exhibition. Annual exhibition of second year Master of Fine Arts students’ current work. Tu-F, 11am-4pm through 12/1; MFA Review Exhibition. Annual review exhibition of current Master of Fine Arts students including incoming artists. Tu-F, 11am-4pm through 11/17; MFA Review Exhibition Reception, Th, 11/10, 6pm. Free. 1664 N. Virginia St., (775) 784-6837.
NEVADA MUSEUM OF ART: Andrea Zittel:
Wallsprawl, W-Su through 12/31; Anthony McCall: Swell, W-Su through 1/8; Leiko Ikemura: Poetics of Form, W-Su through 1/15; Dennis Parks: Land, Language and Clay, W-Su through 1/8; Ugo Rondinone: Seven Magic Mountains, W-Su through 5/11; Trevor Paglen: Orbital Reflector, W-Su through 12/31; Robert Adams: Around the House, W-Su through 12/11. $1-$10. 160 W. Liberty St., (775) 329-3333.
LASTING DOSE TATTOO & ART COLLECTIVE: Eclectic Nuances. Opening night of Bryce Chisholm’s show. Sa, 11/12, 7-10pm. Free. 888 S. Virginia St., www.lastingdosetattoo.com.
MCKINLEY ARTS & CULTURE CENTER: Book + Publication Arts: Black Rock Press. The Black Rock Press preserves the history and traditions of the art of the book while turning a creative and critical eye toward its relevance in contemporary art and culture. 11/14-12/30; Th, 12/1, 5-7pm; Filtered: Paintings by Ashley Follmer. Follmer’s series of oil paintings portrays the effect of mobile devices on interpersonal communication. 11/14-12/30; Th, 12/1, 5-7pm. Free. 925 Riverside Drive, (775) 334-2417.
METRO GALLERY AT RENO CITY HALL: NonObjective Dimension: Monique Rebelle. Metro Gallery in City Hall hosts abstract painter Monique Rebelle. Non-objective Dimension is a series of oil paintings that deals with transcendence and a breakthrough in perception. The artist reception is on Nov. 17, 5-7pm. 11/14-12/30, 8am-5pm. Free. 1 E. First St., (775) 334-2417, www.reno.gov.
SHEPPARD CONTEMPORARY GALLERY, CHURCH FINE ARTS BUILDING, UNIVERSITY OF NEVADA, RENO: FABRICation. Artists Erin Castellan, Kristy Deetz, Virginia Derryberry, Reni Gower, Rachel Hayes, Susan Iverson and Natalie Smith incorporate a textile sensibility in their artwork through elements of fabric and fabrication. Tu-Sa, noon-4pm through 12/15. Free. 1664 N. Virginia St., (775) 784-6658.
SIERRA ARTS GALLERY: My Reno Aces: Minor League Baseball in the Biggest Little City. A collection of photos by Reno Aces team photographer David Calvert. M-F through 11/23. 17 S. Virginia St., Ste. 120, (775) 329-2787.
STREMMEL GALLERY: Nature Divine: Landscape Paintings of the American West. Paintings by Phyllis Shafer. M-Sa through 12/3. 1400 S. Virginia St., (775) 786-0558.
TAHOE GALLERY AT SIERRA NEVADA COLLEGE: Ponderance. Sierra Nevada College BFA exhibit. Artist Josh Patten will talk at 5:30pm on Nov. 17. M-Su through 11/18; Th, 11/17, 5-7pm. Free. 999 Tahoe Blvd., Incline Village, (775) 831-1314.
WILBUR D. MAY MUSEUM, RANCHO SAN RAFAEL REGIONAL PARK: Around the World in 40 Days. The Sierra Watercolor Society returns to the Wilbur D. May Museum with a new exhibition of original watercolor paintings. Local and regional artists were asked to paint places they have visited or want to visit, favorite views, special events and other scenes. The result is the “Around the World in 40 Days” exhibition, featuring dozens of paintings that evoke the allure and beauty of travel. Visitors are invited to vote for their favorite painting to win the coveted “People’s Choice Award.” W-Su through 12/18. Free. 1595 N. Sierra St., (775) 785-5961.
MUseUMs
FilM HOCKNEY: Artemisia Moviehouse presents a showing of this documentary film directed by Randall Wright. Charismatic artist David Hockney takes viewers on an exclusive tour of his archives and studio. In addition to offering a look back at his formative years, Hockney also relates his experiences as a gay man during the early days of the AIDS crisis. Tu, 11/15, 7-9pm. $7 general, $6 seniors, students, $5 members. Good Luck Macbeth Theatre Company, 713 S. Virginia St., http://artemisiamovies.weebly.com.
MUsic
Tour of doody
CIANA: The Celtic band performs. Sa, 11/12,
7-9pm. $10-$20. Brewery Arts Center, 449 W. King St., Carson City, (775) 883-1976.
FTLOJ MEMBERSHIP MEETING AND CONCERT: For the Love of Jazz presents its annual membership meeting and free concert with Eric Johnson and the Blue Note Quintet featuring Tony Cataldo on trumpet, as well as performances by FTLOJ board members, Scot Marshall, Graham Marshall, Peter Supersano, Hans Halt and Cherie Shipley. Su, 11/13, 2pm. Free. Silver Peak Grill & Tap House, 135 N. Sierra St., www.renojazz.org.
QUINTESSENTIAL WOODWIND QUINTET: The Carson City Symphony Association presents the premiere formal recital of Quintessential Woodwind Quintet. The recital features Carson City Symphony musicians Nancy Irwin, flute; Kelsey Edmondson, oboe; Jon Rabben, clarinet; Jen Sturm, horn; and Chris Bonelli, bassoon; in an evening of music, conversation, appetizers and wine. Su, 11/13, 5pm. Home of Curtis and Sonja Radig, 2662 Danielle Drive, Carson City, (775) 883-4154.
SUNDAY JAZZ AT RENO LITTLE THEATER: For the Love of Jazz and KNCJ presents this monthly jazz event featuring mimosas, treats and live music by local jazz musicians. This month’s artist is The Bayberry Duo featuring Darcy Kathleen and Lucas Arizu. Su, 11/13, 10:30am. Pay what you can. Reno Little Theater, 147 E. Pueblo St., (775) 813-8900.
SYMPHONIC CHOIR/CHAMBER SINGERS CONCERT: Choral concert featuring Symphonic Choir and Chamber Singers and Vox Novum. The ensembles will be accompanied by Philip Manwell on the Casavant Freres pipe organ. Th, 11/10, 7:30pm. $5; free for UNR students with ID. Trinity Episcopal Church, 200 Island Ave., (775) 784-4278, www.unr.edu/arts.
UNIVERSITY PERCUSSION ENSEMBLE: The University Percussion Ensemble will present a fall concert featuring large and small ensemble compositions. The University World Percussion Ensemble also will perform. Tu, 11/15, 7:30pm. $5; free for UNR students with ID. Nightingale Concert Hall, Church Fine Arts Building, University of Nevada, Reno, 1335 N. Virginia St., (775) 784-4278.
LAKE MANSION: Free Guided Tours at the Lake Mansion. The Lake Mansion is one of the few residences in the area that is listed on the Nevada State Register of Historic Places and the National Register of Historic Places that is also open to the public to explore. F, noon through 12/31. 250 Court St., (775) 826-6100.
by AMY ALKON
more listings on page 34
I’m a 42-year-old divorcee, just back in the dating world and using dating apps. I have two young children, who live with me. I mentioned them in my profile at first, but I didn’t get many replies, so I took them out. Is it OK not to disclose them there? And if I go out with a guy, when do I have to tell him? I’d like to wait til we build a bit of a relationship.” When men say they “love surprises,” they mean the sort involving an impromptu striptease, not where you wait till the sixth date to tell them that, no, that child seat actually isn’t for your terrier. Not disclosing that you have kids until a guy is emotionally attached to you is what evolutionary psychologist David Buss calls “strategic interference”—using tactics, including scammy ones, to try to get another person to go against their evolved interests. For example, it is not in a man’s genetic interest to invest time, effort and resources into another man’s children, which is why men evolved to prefer women who do not already have children, as opposed to saying, “Well, she’s got 12 kids … I’ll take experience over 20-something hotitude any day!” Our emotions are our internal police force. They evolved to protect and serve—protecting us from allowing things that don’t serve our interest. Your hiding that you have kids will make guys angry, including those who’d be interested in you, kids and all. The problem goes to character. If you’re dishonest about this, what else will you be dishonest about? The right thing to do in online dating is to give men who will ultimately reject you the info they need to do that right away—keeping them from wasting their time and yours. Otherwise, it’s like seeking a new accountant by interviewing plumbers. Being honest will narrow your pool down to those who are actual possibilities for you, like divorced dads who’d be open to Brady Bunch-ing. There are also a few kid-loving guys out there who never got around to having any and would find it a plus that you have some ready-made. All the better if some other guy’s on the hook for the kids’ private school, Ivy League educations and wintering in rehab on St. Barts.
Bert and Urnie I’ve been dating a widow for two years, and I feel inadequate compared with her dead husband, whom she always describes in glowing terms. He liked to dance; I don’t. He cooked; I don’t. He didn’t drink; I do. I understand that she was very happy with her late husband, but this constant comparison with him is wearing on me. It’s always exciting to see a man rebound after a serious setback—except when you’re the new guy in his widow’s life and the setback is that he was cremated three years ago. As for why your girlfriend keeps inviting the Ghost of Husband Past into your lives, consider that thoughts—like those glowing ones about him—are driven by emotions. And consider that emotions aren’t just internal states, they also act as signals—a form of person-to-person advertising. For example, research by social psych grad student Bo Winegard and his colleagues finds that grief seems to be, among other things, a kind of broadcasting of a person’s “proclivity to form devoted bonds with others.” In other words, “Trust me! I love deeply!” As for what your girlfriend’s signaling with all this late-husband reflux, maybe she’s telling you to back off. Maybe she wants you to try harder at something. Or maybe she just misses her late hubby (or feels guilty for being happy with you), and this is her way of keeping him around—in some form. Ask her—in the most non-snarly, loving way— what she’s trying to communicate to you when she waxes on about him. Tell her it hurts your feelings—giving you the message that you’re failing her somehow. Maybe she’ll start appreciating what she has instead of being so focused on what she buried. Date night shouldn’t involve your waving goodbye to your girlfriend as she goes off with a picnic dinner to the cemetery. Ω
Got a problem? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave., No. 280, Santa Monica, CA 90405, or email AdviceAmy@aol.com (www.advicegoddess.com).
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