TRUCKEE MEADOWS HABITAT FOR HUMANITY’S MURDER MYSTERY DINNER: Enjoy dinner, solve a murder and shop at the silent auction. F, 10/21, 6-10pm. $45-$55. Hidden Valley Country Club, 3575 E. Hidden Valley Drive, (775) 323-5511.
WOMEN AS CHANGE MAKERS SUMMIT: Women As Change Makers is designed to provide women with the tools, knowledge and network to take their business or career to the next level. WACM is an annual event benefiting Zawadisha, a local social enterprise whose mission is to provide small loans to Kenyan women to help finance their livelihoods. F, 10/21, 9am-5pm. $85$325. Whitney Peak Hotel, 255 N. Virginia St., (530) 416-5682, www.wacm.co.
ALL Ages DOWNTOWN LIBRARY STORY TIME: Stories and activities especially for the preschool child. Tu, 10:30am. Free. Downtown Reno Library, 301 S. Center St., (775) 327-8312.
PITCH BLACK PRINTING COMPANY: They Walk Among Us… Art Show. Featuring visual artists from Nevada and California with food by Nom Eats and music by DJ Elzo. Sa, 10/22, 6-10pm. Free. 1108 California Ave., (775) 476-2003.
SHEPPARD CONTEMPORARY GALLERY, CHURCH FINE ARTS BUILDING, UNIVERSITY OF NEVADA, RENO: Sameer Farooq: Blind Forms. Tu-Th, noon-4pm through 10/22; J. Antoni & S. Petronio: Honey Baby, Tu-F, noon-4pm through 10/22. Free. 1664 N. Virginia St., (775) 784-6658.
SIERRA ARTS GALLERY: Meet Visiting Artist Jennifer Valloric. Weaver Jennifer Valloric will be on hand to describe her work and answer questions about her latest sitespecific installation at Sierra Arts Gallery. Th, 10/20, 5-7pm. Free. 17 S. Virginia St., Ste. 120, (775) 329-2787, www.sierra-arts.org.
TAHOE GALLERY AT SIERRA NEVADA COLLEGE: Blindsides: Liv Aanrud. A show of Aanrud’s tapestries. Th, 10/20, 5-7pm. Free. 999 Tahoe Blvd., Incline Village, (775) 831-1314.
FAMILY GAME NIGHT: Come into the library, find a table, grab a game and have some fun. Second and fourth W of every month, 4:30-6:30pm. Free. Northwest Reno Library, 2325 Robb Drive, (775) 787-4100.
GALENA TODDLERS: This nature education program for toddlers includes storytime, outdoor exploration and crafts. Third Th of every month, 10am through 3/16. $5 suggested donation. Galena Creek Visitor Center, 18250 Mt. Rose Highway, (775) 8494948, www.galenacreekvisitorcenter.org.
INSIDE OUT: AN ANATOMY EXPERIENCE: This exhibition will take you on a journey into the curiosities of human anatomy. Through digital and hands-on exhibits, you’ll learn how our bodies work, grow, age and heal. Tu-Su. $9-$10. Terry Lee Wells Nevada Discovery Museum, 490 S. Center St., (775) 786-1000, www.nvdm.org.
SUPPLEMENTAL NUTRITION ASSISTANCE PROGRAM (SNAP) OUTREACH CLINIC: The Food Bank of Northern Nevada hosts SNAP outreach clinics to assist low-income families and individuals in applying for SNAP benefits. First come, first served. Th, 10am-noon. Free. Downtown Reno Library, 301 S. Center St., (775) 327-8312.
ArT CARSON CITY COMMUNITY CENTER: Silver State Swimmer. The Capital City Arts Initiative presents artwork by Michael Malley at the Carson City Community Center’s Sierra Room. M-Th, 8am-5pm through 11/10. Free. 851 E. William St., Carson City, (775) 887-2290.
FRONT DOOR GALLERY, CHURCH FINE ARTS BUILDING, UNIVERSITY OF NEVADA, RENO: Brett Flanigan. The first show in University Galleries’ new mural series features mural art by the Oakland-based artist. M-F through 11/11. Free. 1664 N. Virginia St., (775) 784-6658.
MCKINLEY ARTS & CULTURE CENTER: Horse, Paula Rie Bonham’s series of mixed media paintings focuses on movement and strength expressed through the powerful image of the horse. M-Su through 11/4. 925 Riverside Drive, (775) 334-2417.
MuseuMs
by AMY ALKON
Talk dirt-cheap to me
FOURTH WARD SCHOOL MUSEUM: The Comstock Through Time. This exhibit highlights some of the history of the Comstock through photographs and personal accounts. Then-and-now photographs help to emphasize the changes in the community and surrounding area. Books, journal entries and oral histories will give the visitor a first-hand account of daily life. M-Su, 10am-5pm through 10/31. $5 adults, $3 for children ages 6-16, free for children age 5 and younger. 537 S. C St., Virginia City, (775) 847-0975.
LAKE MANSION: Free Guided Tours at the Lake Mansion. The Lake Mansion is one of the few residences in the area that is listed on the Nevada State Register of Historic Places and the National Register of Historic Places that is also open to the public to explore. F, noon through 12/31. Free admission, donations accepted. 250 Court St., (775) 826-6100.
NEVADA MUSEUM OF ART: Trevor Paglen:
Orbital Reflector, W-Su through 12/31; Anthony McCall: Swell, W-Su through 1/8; Ugo Rondinone: Seven Magic Mountains, W-Su through 5/11; Andrea Zittel: Wallsprawl, W-Su through 12/31; Dennis Parks: Land, Language and Clay, W-Su through 1/8; Ai Weiwei—Circle of Animals/ Zodiac Heads: Gold, W-Su through 10/23; Tilting the Basin: Contemporary Art of Nevada, W-Su through 10/23; Contemporary Nevada: State of the State, W-Su through 10/23; Robert Adams: Around the House, W-Su through 12/11; Leiko Ikemura: Poetics of Form, W-Su through 1/15. $1-$10. 160 W. Liberty St., (775) 329-3333.
WILBUR D. MAY MUSEUM, RANCHO SAN RAFAEL REGIONAL PARK: Married to Adventure. The safari-themed exhibition tells the story of Martin and Osa Johnson—daring naturalists, filmmakers, photographers, explorers and American heroes of the 1910s-1930s. This exhibition is on loan from the Safari Museum in Chanute, Kansas and features more than 100 original photographs, movie posters and artifacts that capture the romance and adventure that characterized Martin and Osa’s life together. W-Su through 10/30. $8-$9. 1595 N. Sierra St., (775) 785-5961.
METRO GALLERY AT RENO CITY HALL: New
Works from the Studio Art Quilts. Through 11/4. Free. 1 E. First St., (775) 334-2417.
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My husband of a year is very tight with cash. It’s always save, save, save. I recently traded in my car, and I needed $1,000 more for the new one, but he never offered to give it to me. My parents ended up paying it. I make my own money, but not a lot, and I’m wondering what kind of financial arrangement makes sense in a marriage. Your husband comes into the living room, and there you are—sitting on the floor with a Starbucks cup and a cardboard sign that says, “Anything helps. God bless.” Unfortunately, the passive-aggressiveness of the wife-as-panhandler approach is toxic in the long run. However, the theatrics would get your message across better than the nonverbal forms of communication you’ve probably been using. If you want something from your husband, you have to put that out there in spoken-word form. But beyond that, you two need to sit down and hammer out a fiscal policy for your relationship—where the lines get drawn on “yours”/“mine”/“ours” and “what if one of us has a financial crisis and needs an alternative to, oh, stealing a mule to get to work every day?” In coming up with this policy, it’s important to go beyond the cold dollars-and-cents view and discuss each other’s attitudes surrounding money, especially any issues and fears. Then, when there’s a conflict, each of you can maybe start with a little compassion for the other’s point of view. It also might help to understand that our views about money are influenced by genetics and what behavioral ecologists call our “life history strategy”—a term that relates to whether our upbringing was stable and “safe” or risky and unpredictable. Child development researcher Jay Belsky and his colleagues find that a stable childhood environment tends to lead to a more future-oriented approach (saving, for example), whereas, say, growing up ducking gunfire or just having divorced parents and getting moved around a lot tends to lead to a more now-oriented approach (spendorama!). Family studies researcher Jeffrey Dew finds that married couples with a bunch of “consumer debt” (owing on credit cards, loans for consumer
goods, and past-due bills) fight more about everything—from sex to chores to in-laws. Research by sociologist Carolyn Vogler, among others, finds that couples who pool their money (like their money got married, too!) tend to be happier. I would guess that the spirit in this is important—“us against the world!” instead of, “If you lose your job and can’t pay your share of the rent, don’t worry, baby. I’ll help you pitch your tent on the front lawn.”
Leaf him alone! Pot is legal where I live, and it helps ease my knee pain from years of running. I’ve noticed that it also makes me feel more sensual. I want to share the marijuana experience with my boyfriend when we make love, but he says pot makes him “inert” and “obsessively analytic.” How do I get him to be more open-minded? Welcome to what biologist Ernst Mayr called “human variability”—the existence of individual differences. We see it in how some of us enjoy a surprise kick of peanut butter in our chocolate milkshake, while for others, it’s “Wow … look how I’ve swelled up, just like a human balloon.” Likewise, research on the cognitive impact of pot by neuroscientist Antonio Verdejo-Garcia shows varying effects on research participants’ “sustained attention” (among other things)—in line with which one of two genotypes they have. Consider that being nagged to start smoking pot is probably as annoying as being nagged to stop. Sure, you have the best of intentions—sharing your sensual experience with him. And, if he smokes pot, you can—after he stops communing with the rug, asking the little fibers, “Did you ever consider that the tortilla is the perfect metaphor for human consciousness?” Ω
Got a problem? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave., No. 280, Santa Monica, CA 90405, or email AdviceAmy@aol.com (www.advicegoddess.com).
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