OUR MOVIE CRITIC BATTLES THE SUMMER MOVIE SEASON by Bob Grimm
bgrimm@newsreview.com
I
The rest of
MAy
JUNE is jumping
The Nice Guys (May 20)
NeiGhBors 2: sororiTy risiNG (May 20)
Ryan Gosling and Russell Crowe costar in this action comedy from Shane Black. Black is responsible for Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, one of the best movies you can see in this lifetime. So, yeah, I’m enthused.
This comedy summer will be known as The Summer of Efron with not one, but two high profile comedies featuring the man. At least Zac isn’t being all serious for the time being. I couldn’t take another Charlie St. Cloud. Also, I’m just yanking your chain. I seriously doubt anybody will refer to this as The Summer of Efron. That just sounds so milquetoast.
Some things need to go away. Megan Fox and the CGI turtles aim to stick around and repeat box office glory. I’d rather see a turtle movie with the one that raced Bugs Bunny and cheated with the big engine in his shell. That was badass!
While it stars Andy Samberg, this is pretty much a Lonely Island movie because his partners Jorma Taccone (Chaka!) and Akiva Schaffer co-wrote and directed. I’m holding out hope this is one of the season’s great guilty pleasures. The trailer featuring the Adam Levine hologram twerking with himself has me sold.
NEWS
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GREEN
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FEATURE STORY
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(May 27)
The coNjuriNG 2 (June 10)
I am so terribly not looking forward to this. Can we all just admit that Johnny Depp mostly sucks now?
A ghost of some sort is conjured again, and a bunch of people are generally unhappy about it. The first one managed to put a few scares into me, but second helpings of this sort of thing usually result in yawny face. I also can’t stand the scary, demonic kid gimmick. Just give the damn kid an
ARTS&CULTURE
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ART OF THE STATE
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FOODFINDS
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FILM
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MUSICBEAT
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NIGHTCLUBS/CASINOS
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THIS WEEK
“ G R I M M v S U M M E R ” continued on page 14
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This video game adaptation looks weird, but Duncan Jones (Moon) directed, so I’m holding out hope it all comes together in the end. Still, it kind of looks like, well, a videogame.
(June 3)
Alice ThrouGh The lookiNG GlAss
First, the video games got their own movies, now it’s the apps. Next up: A comedy thriller based on that app you use for doing your taxes.
wArcrAfT (June 10)
popsTAr: Never sTop Never sToppiNG
There will be no shortage of comic book movies this summer. This one stars Oscar Isaac as Apocalypse, and he looks like he’s living up to his name in the trailer. He’s basically a big fat jerk causing the end of the world. What an asshole.
The ANGry Birds Movie (May 20)
Oreo, inform her that ghosts are a crock of shit, and tell her to go ride a bike and do something productive. Yeah, I don’t have any kids.
TeeNAGe MuTANT NiNjA TurTles: ouT of The shAdows (June 3)
X-MeN: ApocAlypse (May 27)
OPINION
IllustratIon/MIke GrIMM
realize that the Summer Movie Season got its actual start nearly two months ago with Batman v Superman: Dick Holes. That piece of diseased sloth eye-mush came out on my birthday of all days, and sent me into a cinematic stupor of the bad kind. Thanks a lot, Warner Brothers. Hey WB, why don’t you just shit in my face for next year’s birthday? That would be far more festive. The good news is I’ve recovered thanks to a little movie called Captain America: Civil War, which amounts to a superhero movie done right. Marvel has proven that it is possible to pit two superhero icons against each other without causing lethargy, Tourette-type fits in the parking lot, diarrhea, and disassociation at the workplace. I hadn’t been that grouchy since Batman & Robin came out.
Now you see Me 2 (June 10) The only good thing about the original was Isla Fisher, and she’s gone from the sequel, replaced by Lizzy Caplan. So now I think Lizzy will be the only good thing about the sequel. (I like her … a lot.) Harry Potter also shows up. A week later, he shows up in something odd and different. Follow me through a couple of more movie capsules, and I will tell you about it. Come along. fiNdiNG dory (June 17) Ellen DeGeneres’s adorable fish cartoon character gets her own movie. This means more cute whale talk! |
MISCELLANY
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MAY 19, 2016
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RN&R
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