Advice Goddess

Fresh prince of Bel-Stare

My boyfriend “loves women.” When we’re out, he’ll check out and comment on every hot girl. I get that he’s just “appreciating their beauty,” but it makes me feel really bad—angry and insecure. How can I get him to stop? Why does he need to do this? I sure don’t. Like the “g” in “gnarly-ass dickhead,” the “Whoa … wouldya look at the Humpty Dumplings on her!” is supposed to be silent.

You might take your boyfriend’s babe-ernecking less personally if you recognize that male sexual attraction is visually driven in a way female attraction is not—which is why strip clubs catering to men are big business while those for women are largely a bachelorette party novelty. Sure, women like a nice view, but if they have to make a trade-off, they’re likely to go for the weak-chinned gazillionaire.

This is reflected in research by anthropologist John Marshall Townsend. He showed men and women photos of hotties and homelies of the opposite sex, dressed in either a Burger King uniform or biz exec-wear and a Rolex. When he asked which they’d go for, men were indifferent to how the woman was dressed—picking the hottie no matter what she was wearing. Women, on the other hand, went for the homely business dude and tended to nix even a hookup with the hot hamburger helper.

There are also some indications that, just by looking at those on the babe squad, parts of the male brain’s reward circuitry get activated in ways women’s do not. In brain imaging research, cognitive scientist Jasmin Cloutier found that only men looking at photographs of hotties got the lights turned on in the orbitofrontal cortex—part of the brain that’s thought to suss out potentially rewarding stuff on our horizon and give us a “Yoo-hoo! Over here!”

Reward circuitry aside, there’s “window shopping” and then there’s “window announcing.” Though—sorry, ladies—all men look, the kind, loving ones don’t get caught (and especially don’t marvel aloud). In other words, what’s worrisome about your boyfriend’s behavior is what it says about the kind of partner he is to you. When somebody loves you, they want to make you feel good—not like you’re comparing poorly to half the female pedestrians jiggling down the sidewalk.

The way to approach this is to explain how much this behavior hurts your feelings. As the father of economics Adam Smith noted, evoking somebody’s empathy tends to motivate them to try to make things better. Telling them what to do, however, tends to backfire, leading to cries of “Vive la révolution!”

As for how you’d like things to change, let your boyfriend know that you just don’t want to see him gaping or hear about it. OK, he appreciates women as these moving pieces of art. Museums are quiet. Men aren’t yelling at the Mona Lisa, “Hey, girl, I’ll give you something to smile about!” Likewise, in a relationship, there are legit cries for help, but one of them is not “Help, I’ve fallen down her cleavage, and I can’t get up!”

For whom the belle tolls

I know my boyfriend’s into me, and he’s generally very loving, but I get far more compliments about how I look from guys I’m not dating. How do I get my boyfriend to let me know that he likes the view? There’s a reason that the Miss World pageant lacks a mathematics category, in which contestants come out smiling and waving and then do one of the world’s great unsolved math problems in their head: “And now, ladies and gentlemen, we’ll watch as Miss Uruguay proves that the 196-algorithm does not terminate when applied to the number 196.”

Obviously, beauty isn’t everything. In fact, according to research by economist Jeremy Greenwood, a smartypants, highly educated guy is more likely than ever (compared with, say, 1960) to require his bride-to-be to be similarly smarty-pants and highly educated. What hasn’t changed is male sexual desire. Because it’s intensely visual, it’s reassuring for a woman to hear that the way she looks is driving a guy wild—as opposed to driving him to pluck his eyes out with barbecue tongs.

Men like to know they’re making a woman happy—or at least how they might have some hope of that. So, put it in those terms: “Baby, you know what I’d love …?” rather than “Buddy, you know how you’re failing me …?” Gently remind him until he gets in the habit. A positive approach like this tends to be the most effective, tempting as it may be to hint that noncompliance will lead to severe sanctions: “Mirror, mirror, on the wall, if you ever want a blow job again, you’d better say something nice about my outfit.” Ω

Got a problem? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave., No. 280, Santa Monica,CA 90405, or email AdviceAmy@aol.com (www.advicegoddess.com).

RENO ART WORKS: RAW Open Studios. RAW opens its studio doors. Meet the artists, explore the studios and buy local art.

Third Sa of every month, noon-5pm through

12/17.1995 Dickerson Road, (775) 225-7295, www.renoartworks.org. SHEPPARD CONTEMPORARY GALLERY, CHURCH FINE

ARTS BUILDING, UNIVERSITY OF NEVADA, RENO:

Jack Pierson. Pierson’s photographs explore the emotional undercurrents of everyday life, from the intimacy of romantic attachment to the distant idolization of others. Tu-Sa, noon4pm through 7/1. Free. 1664 N. Virginia St., (775) 784-6658.

STREMMEL GALLERY: Chester Arnold and Dan

Douke. Stremmel Gallery presents works by

Chester Arnold and Dan Douke. M-Sa through 6/3. Free. 1400 S. Virginia St., (775) 786-0558. WILBUR D. MAY MUSEUM, RANCHO SAN RAFAEL

REGIONAL PARK: ARTful Women make their Nevada debut in a new exhibition. Their diverse styles are represented in works of fiber and mixed media that are stitched, dyed, painted, printed, stamped, waxed, fused and embellished. W-Su through 7/17. Opens 5/21.

Free. 1595 N. Sierra St., (775) 785-5961.

Museums

FOURTH WARD SCHOOL MUSEUM: The Comstock

Through Time. This exhibit highlights some of the history of the Comstock. Then-and-now photographs help to emphasize the changes in the community and surrounding area. Books, journal entries and oral histories will give the visitor a firsthand account of daily life. M-Su, 10am-5pm through 10/31. $5 adults,

$3 for children ages 6-16, free for children age 5 and younger. 537 S. C St., Virginia City, (775) 847-0975.

NEVADA MUSEUM OF ART: Andy Diaz Hope & Jon

Bernson: Beautification Machine, W-Su through 7/24; Andrea Zittel: Wallsprawl, W-Su through 12/31; Don Dondero: A Photographic Legacy,

W-Su through 7/10; American Impressionism,

W-Su through 8/14; Horses in the American

West, W-Su through 7/3; The Horse, W-Su

through 7/3. $1-$10. 160 W. Liberty St., (775) 329-3333.

SPARKS HERITAGE MUSEUM: Latimer Art Club

Exhibit. The group exhibition will feature paintings by local artists in a wide variety of mediums. Tu-F, 11am-4pm through 5/27, Sa,

1-4pm through 5/28. Free. 814 Victorian Ave., Sparks, (775) 355-1144.

Film

DEAD MEN DON’T WEAR PLAID (1982): Steve Martin

and Carl Reiner’s spoof of classic detective films. Martin stars as a private op tasked with finding the killers of a noted cheese scientist. Tu, 5/24, 7-9pm. $7 general, $6 students, seniors, $5 members. Good Luck Macbeth

Theatre Company, 713 S. Virginia St., http:// artemisiamovies.weebly.com. MOVIE NIGHT: MIAMI CONNECTION: Watch the

1987 independent martial arts film starring Y.K. Kim, who also wrote and produced the feature. W, 5/25, 8:30pm. $2.50. Psychedelic Ballroom and Juke Joint (PB&J’s), 555 E. Fourth St., (775) 322-4348.

Poetry/ Literature

SVC SLAMBOREE: Spoken Views Collective presents this poetry slam that showcases the talents of the New School (Spoken Views Youth

Collective) as they engage in a elimination competition against the Old School (Spoken

Views Collective). There will be three rounds of heated competition that will determine one

Grand Slam winner. Ticket price includes a homemade Hawaiian barbecue plate as well as one raffle ticket. All proceeds from this event will go to the Spoken Views Youth Collective to help fund their trip to Washington D.C. to compete in Brave New Voices. Sa, 5/21, 1pm. $15 general admission, $10 students. Reno

Little Theater, 147 E. Pueblo St., (775) 329-0661, http://spokenviews.org.

Music

IN TIMES AND PLACES: Tintabulations Handbell

Ensemble’s spring concert series features a wide variety of music performed on more than 120 handbells and chimes. Su, 5/22, 1pm.

Free. Churchill County Museum, 1050 S. Maine

St., Fallon; Su, 5/22, 7pm. Free. South Reno

United Methodist Church, 200 DeSpain Lane, http://tintabulations.com. PIPES ON THE RIVER: The Friday lunchtime concert series features guest artists performing on the church’s Casavant pipe organ. F, noon.

Free. Trinity Episcopal Church, 200 Island Ave., (775) 329-4279, www.trinityreno.org.

GEEK OUT

RENO WIND SYMPHONY: ON BROADWAY!: The

Reno Wind Symphony will play songs from

Broadway musicals at the University of

Nevada, Reno. Su, 5/22, 3pm. $5 general admission, free for UNR students with ID.

Nightingale Concert Hall, Church Fine Arts

Building, University of Nevada, Reno, 1335 N.

Virginia St., (775) 784-4278, www.unr.edu/arts. ROSEBUD’S DANCE BAND: The band plays mostly big band-era dance, jazz and swing, with some modern pieces. Sa, 5/21, 7-9pm. $10 BAC members, $12 non-members. Brewery Arts Center, 449 W. King St., Carson City, (775) 883-1976, www.breweryarts.org. WEEKLY DRUM CIRCLE: Bring your drum, your didgeridoo, poi, hoops and silk or just yourself and enjoy the soothing sounds of the Morris

Drum Circle. M, 8:30pm through 7/25. Free.

Morris Burner Hotel, 400 E. Fourth St., (775) 327-1171.

Sports & Fitness

GALENA CREEK GUIDED HIKE: Join a naturalist

along one of the Galena Park trails and learn about the area. Bring water, sunscreen, hiking boots or snowshoes (if weather permits.)

Sa, 10am through 3/18. $5 suggested donation.

Galena Creek Visitor Center, 18250 Mt. Rose

Highway, (775) 849-4948. RENO ACES: The minor league baseball team plays the Omaha Storm Chasers. Th, 5/19, 6:35pm; F, 5/20, 6:35pm; Sa, 5/21, 6:35pm; Su,

5/22, 1:05pm. $9 general admission, $8 for military, kids under age 12 and seniors over age 62. Greater Nevada Field, 250 Evans Ave., (775) 334-7000, www.renoaces.com. SACRAMENTO REPUBLIC FC VS. LIVERPOOL FC

U21S: World-famous English Premier League Liverpool FC’s U21 will take on the USL’s Sacramento Republic FC in the first visit of an English Premier League Club to Nevada. In conjunction with this inaugural event, Reno 1868 FC will unveil its crest at halftime. W, 5/25, 7-9pm. $20 general admission, $19 kids under age 12, seniors age 62 an older. Greater Nevada Field, 250 Evans Ave., (775) 334-7001, www.internationalchampionscup.com.

PHOTO/ DAVID MARSHAL

Onstage

EXIT INTERVIEW: Reno Little Theater presents William Missouri Downs’ dark comedy. Downs’ witty play ricochets through

Brechtian interludes, a pair of politically radicalized cheerleaders, a pompous newsman, communiques from God and debates on religion, science and politics before reaching its surprising conclusion. Th, 5/19, 7:30pm; F, 5/20, 7:30pm; Sa, 5/21, 7:30pm; Su, 5/22, 2pm; Th, 5/26, 7:30pm; F, 5/27, 7:30pm; Sa, 5/28, 2 & 7:30pm; Su, 5/29, 2pm. $18 general

admission, $15 seniors, students, military.

Reno Little Theater, 147 E. Pueblo St., (775) 329-0661, www.renolittletheater.org. KING LEAR: Good Luck Macbeth presents William

Shakespeare’s tragedy depicting the title character’s descent into madness after splitting his kingdom between two of his three daughters based on their flattery. Good Luck

Macbeth’s inspiration is based in Russia during the reign of Tsar Ivan the Terrible and the famous Russian fairy tales, giving the story an added layer of darkness and magic. Th, 5/19, 7:30pm; F, 5/20, 7:30pm; Sa, 5/21, 7:30pm. $15-$18.

Good Luck Macbeth Theatre Company, 713 S.

Virginia St., (775) 322-3716. ROCK THIS COUNTRY: The Reno Dance Company and students of The School at RDC collaborate to present a fast-paced, original musical revue blending all genres of dance with a diverse selection of country music, including oldies, classics and today’s pop county sensations. Sa, 5/21, 3 & 7pm; Su, 5/22,

3 & 7pm. $12-$22. Nugget Casino Resort, 1100

Nugget Ave., Sparks, (775) 356-3300, http:// ww.renodancecompany.com. STAND-UP COMEDY SHOWCASE: Wild Horse

Productions hosts this comedy showcase with

Nick Josten, DJ Sandhu, Patrick Shillito and

Raphael Lyles. Sa, 5/21, 8pm. $5. Brewery Arts

Center, 449 W. King St., Carson City, www. breweryarts.org. WALK TWO MOONS: TheatreWorks of Northern

Nevada presents the stage adaptation of

Sharon Creech’s Newbery Award-winning novel. Using multiple narrative frames, the play leaps back and forth through time and memory as 13-year-old Sal tells the story of the disappearance of her best friend Phoebe’s mother. F, 5/20, 7pm; Sa, 5/21, 7pm; Su, 5/22, 2pm; F, 5/27, 7pm; Sa, 5/28, 7pm; Su, 5/29, 2pm.

$12 general, $10 students, seniors, military. Laxalt Auditorium, Warren Nelson Building, 401 W. Second St., www.twnn.org.

Auditions

ALICE IN WONDERLAND: TheatreWorks of

Northern Nevada holds auditions for the fourth show of their 2016 season. There are 35+ roles available for actors appearing ages 8 and older. All actors will need to come prepared with a one-minute, prepared monologue of their choosing. The monologue should not be from the show. Actors must call or email to schedule an audition slot. Rehearsals will begin mid-June. Full rehearsal and performance schedules available at auditions. M, 5/23, 6-9pm. Laxalt Auditorium, Warren Nelson Building, 401 W. Second St., (775) 722-2155.

Epic Sci-Fi Crawl

The force will be with hundreds of sci-fi and fantasy fans this weekend as they dress as their favorite cosplay characters and enjoy drink specials, entry in costume contests and free admission to more than 12 participating bars and nightclubs. Crawl Reno presents its first crawl dedicated to the sci-fi and fantasy genres. The event kicks off with a lightsaber battle at Harrah Reno’s outdoor plaza at 7 p.m. on Saturday, May 21. Crawlers can also participate in a Star Wars-themed game of Twister, moving target practice or take a pic of their costumes at a photo booth. The crawl gets underway at 8 p.m. Participants age 21 and older must purchase a $5 commemorative cup and map to the bars in order to receive drink discounts and no cover charge. A portion of the proceeds will go toward Keep Truckee Meadows Beautiful. Call 624-8320 or visit http://crawlreno.com.

Classes

ARTIST TRADING CARD WORKSHOP: You will be

given the supplies to create six original artist trading cards and a protective sleeve for holding them and trading. An instructor will be on hand to supply information and guidance. Fourth W of every month, 5-7pm through

6/22. $30 one-time fee for supplies. Reno Art

Works, 1995 Dickerson Road, (775) 225-7295, www.renoartworks.org. THE BREASTFEEDING FORUM: Breast-feeding

mothers are invited to join this breastfeeding support group. Mothers exchange their experiences and discuss concerns such as milk supply, pumping, going back to work, sleeping or lack of sleep, etc. RSVP at http:// doodle.com/cy5nrur23mbg6pie. Tu, 4-5pm. $10 drop in, free for first-time attendees.

Renown South Meadows Medical Center, 10101 Double R Blvd., www.wellnourishedbaby.com. LOVE FOR WATERCOLOR: Learn about analogous and complementary colors as well as how to see, recognize and recreate atmosphere through color. F, 5/20, 4-6:30pm. $45. Atelier

Truckee, 10128 Donner Pass Road, Truckee, (530) 386-2700.

Community

CANCER SUPPORT GROUP: This group is for

patients and families facing cancer and is facilitated by an oncology social worker who is skilled in the emotional aspects of cancer. Participants can share experiences and express feelings and concerns. The support group meets weekly on Thursday meets in the Orthopedic Conference Room on the third floor of the Roseview Tower. Th, 11:30am-1pm. Free. Renown Regional Medical

Center, 1155 Mill St., (775) 982-6831. CROCHET CONNECTION: Learn to crochet or share tips with other crochet enthusiasts.

Th, 4-5:45pm. Free. Spanish Springs Library, 7100A Pyramid Lake Highway, located at

Lazy 5 Regional Park, Spanish Springs, (775) 424-1800.

KNITTING & CROCHET CLUB: This group is open

to anyone who enjoys knitting or crocheting. Second and third Sa of every month, 1-3pm.

Free. Northwest Reno Library, 2325 Robb

Drive, (775) 787-4100. RENO COIN CLUB MEETING: Reno Coin Club

presents “Cyprus: Coins of an Imperial

Crossroads.” David Elliott will discuss the coins of Cyprus from ancient times to the present. Early bird prizes, quarter pot, raffle and more. Tu, 5/24, 7pm. Free. Denny’s, 205 E. Nugget Ave., Sparks, (775) 815-8625, www.renocoinclub.org. SAM ADAMS NIGHT: Join the Nevada Capital

Libertarian Party at this monthly gathering.

Learn about the NVCLP, listen to speakers and featured guests and visit with fellow

Libertarians. Third Th of every month, 7pm.

Free. Comma Coffee, 312 S. Carson St.,

Carson City, www.nvclp.org. THE SILVER DOLLAR CHORUS: The men’s a cap-

pella chorus is open to males of all ages who love to sing. W, 7-9:30pm through 3/31. Reno

High School, 395 Booth St., (775) 387-0308. SOUTH VALLEYS BRIDGE GROUP: Basic bridge

knowledge preferred. F, 1-4pm. Free. South

Valleys Library, 15650A Wedge Parkway, (775) 851-5190. SPARKS LIBRARY KNITTING AND CROCHETING

CIRCLE: Learn the techniques to start your masterpiece. Th, 4-6pm. Free. Sparks

Library, 1125 12th St., Sparks, (775) 352-3200. THE TUESDAY NIGHT YARN CREW: All skill levels

and yarn-crafts are welcome. Bring your project to this “sit and knit” gathering. Tu, 5:30-7pm. Free. South Valleys Library, 15650A

Wedge Parkway, (775) 851-5190. WOMEN’S BREAST AND GYNECOLOGIC CANCER

SUPPORT GROUP: Patients and survivors are invited to share experiences, concerns and feelings and offer hope and help to one another through their cancer journey. This support group meets in the Orthopedic Conference Room on the third floor of the Roseview Tower. Second and fourth W of every

month, 5:30-7pm. Free. Renown Regional

Medical Center, 1155 Mill St., (775) 982-6831, www.renown.org. YARN TIME: Learn to knit or crochet or improve your skills with other knitting enthusiasts. Second W of every month, 2-4pm,

Fourth W of every month. Free. North Valleys

Library, 1075 N. Hills Blvd., Ste. 340, North Hills Shopping Center, Golden Valley, (775) 972-0281.