Survival Guide: SVNIT Edition

Written By:

Tanmay Dadhania & Karthik Sunil

Illustrated By:

Himanshu Laddhad

Disclaimer: This rulebook should not be taken lightly. It contains guidelines that could potentially save your life during your time in SVNIT. If found without the handbook, your social standing will drop substantially. Use this ONLY in case of emergencies.

POWER CUT:

1. Being alone in the dark with your roommate can be quite scary, keep your defenses up and turn on the phone’s flashlight. 2. Don’t panic in the face of a rough night. 3. As this situation could devolve into a free for all, it is advisable to forget that your friends exist. Call up the people who decide your fate in academics and ask them if you could spend the night (a simple exchange of favours).

UNEXPECTED GUESTS:

1. One can easily forget the nearing judgement day while being warm-boxed with your pals, causing confusion when a knock is heard. 2. Don’t panic in the face of expulsion. 3. Pull out your handy backup sachet prepared for just these kinds of situations. Confidently open the door, hand them the offering, and continue with your session.

CURFEW:

1. If one unfortunately finds themselves outside the campus past curfew, it should be their top concern to get back as soon as possible. 2. Don’t panic in the face of your parents threatening to unenroll you from college. 3. Book a heli on your trusty UberAir app and request a parachute. 4. While flying towards the campus, keep in mind that the airspace above MTB is restricted. Make sure you manage to jump off and land safely before the F-15s are deployed.

BACKLOG:

1. In the highly unlikely case of failing your supplementary exams, one might find themselves in a sticky case of recurring backlogs. 2. Don’t panic in the face of an extra year in SVNIT. 3. Use your Tor browser and hire a capable coder that can set your record straight (at the source).

ED SHEETS DUE TOMORROW:

1. It’s quite common that one finds themselves with bundles of sheets to be submitted the next day, and it takes immense dedication to finish the job. 2. Don’t panic in the face of actually doing the sheets. 3. Head over to the civil engineering lab and use the 3-D printer to manifest your completed sheet from thin air.

INTERVIEW:

1. Going to an interview unprepared can be one’s worst nightmare, but any problem can be solved when you’re confident enough. 2. Don’t panic in the face of unemployment. 3. Walk into the room and pull an uno-reverse. Thank the interviewers for coming in and proceed to take

THEIR interview instead. Offer them stock options and a position at your startup, if they’re found to be satisfactory.