The Chronicles of Shenanigans

Written By:

Supal Padmashali

Illustrated By:

Rutvi Shah

“...even with the broken hallway cameras, we were always watching them, looking out for them.”

Characters:

allowed them to have here.

Jayanti Bhai: Room cleaner. Has worked in the B wing for more than 15 years. Loves the kids like his own.

Kannu Bhai: Hallway cleaner. Veteran like Jayanti bhai. Hates the kids.

Bittu: Wash area cleaner. New to the job. Doesn’t hate the kids because he is one himself.

An empty room in the hostel. After finishing the tiring task of cleaning all the empty hallways, Jayanti Bhai and Kannu Bhai are sitting on a mattress-less bed. Bittu enters with three paper cups and chai in a pouch. He settles down on the ground.

Jayanti Bhai: (looking around the empty room) I wonder how these kids are putting up at home.

Bittu: Tied up back at their parents’ house? Hahaha, pretty sure they miss their freedom. Bittu: True. I wonder if they’ll ever be grateful to us for that.

Kannu Bhai: (scoffs, filling the room with smoke) Grateful? Those kids are never going to be grateful. They are so full of themselves, they don’t even see us.

Jayanti Bhai: Speak for yourself. They didn’t see you because they hated you, and you hated them. You had no business ratting them out for finishing their drawing assignments as a group activity.

Kannu Bhai: (smirks) Can’t believe you’re so naive. Of course, you wouldn’t tell on your “precious” little kids. They are just a bunch of ungrateful miscreants who will never realize nor appreciate how much we care of them.

Bittu: Say whatever, but they are obviously entertaining. Without all of the crazy things that they come up with, we would never have The Chronicles of Shenanigans.

Kannu Bhai: (coughs) They won’t be so ungrateful if they knew about the books. (coughs)

Jayanti Bhai: (smiling at just the thought of those books) It’s been so many years since I started writing them. I think it was the batch of 2001-02, the year where I joined those kids for one of their late-night sessions. The headache I got the next day made sure I never did that again.

Bittu: There is no way I’m going to believe you did that. Not when you scolded me for doing the same last year! I gotta say this, that last batch was my personal favorite and I think they gave us the best book. The thing with that water cooler? Can you believe them? Seemed straight out of a Bassi show, right? (looks around hoping to catch a reaction, getting none)

Jayanti Bhai: It’s hard to choose a favourite when you have seen them go about year after year. You might not remember the names, but the faces and their mischiefs stick around.

Kannu Bhai: Why do you always sound like you’re in love with those kids? (shaking his head) The books have visual proof of what the 2016-17 batch did to the hostel.

Jayanti Bhai: (takes a sip of his chai, a reminiscent smile on his face) That one kid from room D-214 broke the hallway camera, and then his absolutely loyal friend decided to keep it as a decoration in his room. Also had the guts to claim he brought it from his home.

Bittu: Hahaha, I think one of the books has a photo of him posing while holding the camera like a trophy. Iconic!

Kannu Bhai: I’m pretty sure that book also mentions how his room was the one that always used to smell. (addressing Jayanti Bhai) I can’t believe you still let him get away with it.

Jayanti Bhai: Well don’t you see? That’s the difference between you and I. I write in the books for my memories’ sake. You, on the other hand, think of it as some sort of leverage against the kids.

Bittu: (sigh) Well I can’t wait to write in them. If it wasn’t for this lockdown, do you think I could have written about my first arson case?

Kannu Bhai: Is that really what you wanna write about? I think that is the most overdone crime throughout the history of the books.

Jayanti Bhai: I think I’ll have to agree with him here. Every year, they think they are coming up with the most innovative way of setting things on fire, but they don’t realize that their seniors have already done it before them.

Kannu Bhai: (throwing away the butt of his beedi) Innumerable times. Each book has recorded at least one arson. The biggest one being that 2008-09 one. Bittu: Man, why have I missed out on so much? All I’ve seen is how their stupid water fight led to setting the bathroom geyser on fire.

Kannu Bhai: Well, if it’s any consolation, every few years, the books seem to keep repeating themselves.

Jayanti Bhai: You’re on a roll. I think that’s the second correct thing you’ve said today.

Bittu: What do you mean, repeat themselves?

Kannu Bhai: (lighting another beedi) Well, every few years, they create a fire. Almost every year, they find a way to break the locks on the terrace doors. Then they burst crackers even when it’s nowhere near Diwali. And how can I forget, every year, without fail, they have some interwing beef, something about which state they’re from. The outcome, more often than not, is graffiti on the walls.

Jayanti Bhai: (finishing off his chai, suddenly sad) Well, I don’t think we’ll be seeing any graffiti this year. Nor will there be any Chronicle of 2020-21. And I don’t know about you, but I don’t like the look of these empty hallways. These hostels were meant to be the place where the kids spawned all their notorious ideas, and in the end, they would leave this place with their hearts brimming with memories of these ideas put into effect.

Kannu Bhai: (rolling his eyes) Of course, you’re the one who romanticizes about the graduation of people who aren’t even your own children.

Bittu: But if you saw them leaving with a heavy heart, why didn’t you let them have copies of the books?

Jayanti Bhai: Because I never wanted them to know that even with the broken hallway cameras, we were always watching them, looking out for them. I did not know how they would’ve reacted to that.

Kannu Bhai: (scoffs) I’m quite literally repulsed by your emotions right now. Why would you wanna give them away to graduated kids? Call it a business plan or whatever but the ones who need the books the most are the newcomers of 2020-21. I bet we would get a decent price for an archive that tells them how their life in a hostel would’ve been like.

Jayanti Bhai: There you go again with your greedy ideas, and you say that the kids are miscreants? Those books will never fall into the hands of a student, not under my watch. (dramatically exits the room)

Bittu: (giggling, whispers) Do you really think we could make money off these books?

Kannu Bhai: (smiles, then winks)