REFRAME Proposal Deck 2022/23

What’s the big idea?

Reframe was born out of our own experiences, our unquestionable friendship (putting up with each other for a very, VERY long time!) and, most of all, our passion for wanting to help people.

With Reframe, we aim to change the negative perception of certain terms associated with mental health by reframing those negative terms and removing the labels.

The word ‘mental’ still has stigma attached to it and while some may be comfortable with that label, there are many more who are not. By replacing those stigmatised labels with more positive terms, such as ‘frame of mind’, we believe we will impact a far larger audience while still incorporating the same key topics.

At some point in our lives we all have our own baggage – some have small rucksacks and others, massive suitcases. Whatever someone’s carrying, our hope is that they can find something in here that will help, make them laugh, inspire them and lighten the load a little.

The main thing we’ve learnt is…it’s not what you see, it’s how you choose to see it…and that’s Reframe. No labels, no fuss, just sharing a bit of inspiration that may help.

Lou and Lax

This is where it all comes together. All the love and life gets packed into this little digital file and shared with everyone. Simple and honest.

THE VILLANELLE PARADOX

Psychopathic, ruthless, deadly assasin with no code. We can’t get enough of this girl...

YOU DO YOU 9

GIVE ANGER THE AXE

We’ve all had an axe to grind at some point, but what if you could take that axe and fling it with all your might? Like, really throw it. Viking Survival and Outdoor Skills offer archery, tomohawk throwing, shelter building...we headed deep into the Surrey Hills together to bury the hatchet.

ME, MYSELF & I 12

THE EMILY PROJECT

DOSE

FACE OFF

The positive effects of laughter are no joke! We take a look at the hilarious and freaky memes of internet face transplant wizard Arkane Lowe @arkanememes

SOUL

RONI B GOOD

10

HONE YOUR ZONE 16

We chat to wellbeing guru Norma Powell on how she went from having crippling arthritis to becoming a reiki and qigong master using all natural fixes. If your joints are a little jaded then this is a must read!

NURTURE BY NATURE 11

ATTACK THE BLOCK

GET FIT BY ACCIDENT

Staying fit helps us physically and mentally in so many ways, but what if you don’t want to focus on muscle groups and hit targets? Here’s a list of activities that are so much fun you won’t even notice the burn!

THE VILLANELLE PARADOX

Why are we all crushing on a crazed assassin?

It’s a beautiful evening. The sun hangs tightly in the sky shedding a warm blanket across the world. I’m appreciating the views over the Dorset coast and the occasional drift of cool breeze. Whilst I sit sipping an iced lemon gin, I find my mind wandering and daydreaming about Villanelle…hang on...wait…what? Yes the psychotic assassin Villanelle from Killing Eve has somehow strutted her DMs into my tranquil haven, which has now got me thinking “what the hell is wrong with me?! But it’s not just me is it? Thousands of people across the world have found themselves crushing over the eccentric villain in a big way. In fact I’m betting that many of you reading this have too…yes I’m talking to you!

And the funny thing is…I don’t have the same exasperated feelings over Jodie Comer. Don’t get me wrong, Jodie is fit, but Villanelle is fire and I find myself wanting to get burnt! Even more worrying you may think...but is it?

Killing Eve burst onto the screens on 8 April 2018, and from the opening scene where Villanelle nonchalantly knocks ice cream over the sweet smiling little girl, to the hospital massacre that ended the first episode it was clear that she was not to be messed with. As the series moves on, the intoxicating magnetism between Eve and Villanelle has us all craving more…and wishing at times we were Eve (especially that last steamy scene of season 5 – you know the one!).

So what is it about Villanelle that has us so captivated? You will be pleased to know that it is not the fact that she is a blood-thirsty serial killer…no…the truth is somewhat more simplistic. She has traits that in some way we all aspire to. She oozes confidence in every stride, from the eccentric threads that she wears (which most of us can only wish we could pull off!), to the brazen disregard she has for what people think of her (think, the eating pasta incident of Series Two). That don’t-give-a-damn attitude is incredibly attractive, especially as many of us hide behind the curtains of our internal mind chatter, which has us applying a level of restriction to our everyday lives. There is also the strength vs vulnerability aspect. Villanelle displays an outwardly strong persona, the kind that would have you feeling completely safe when out with her, and yet she is completely consumed at the same time. She holds an underlying glimmer of vulnerability too which, every so often, peeps out and shows us her human side and has us buying into the whole ‘she can be fixed’ gag. Who doesn’t like to be the hero every now and

then right? And last, but by no means least…she is unpredictable! Is she going to passionately kiss you or violently drive a hair pin through your eye?! It keeps us wanting more and more.

So now I feel much better about my little crush, how about you? However, that’s not the only part I find interesting. Let’s go back to what I said in the beginning about me not having the same exasperated feelings over Jodie Comer. Now that’s something I find really interesting here. Jodie has played Villanelle so exquisitely and displayed such fine crafted acting that she becomes a completely different person. “That’s acting” hear you say, but hang on there…if that’s possible then can’t we all hone a little of that Villanelle confidence? The confidence that many of us don’t think we can achieve, which, in turn, puts us off doing things we want to in our lives (going for that high paid job, chatting up that stranger sat next us etc.). We all act at some point in our lives don’t we? No? You don’t think so? Ever had a really crappy day or some bad news and then had to go out and pretend all is good? I rest my case.

...whether it’s acting or not, we can all choose to change an aspect of our persona if we really want to. So I’m saying… hone it and own it!

I guess what I’m saying is that if Jodie can create such a magnified paradox in all of us by acting and then in turn completely change our perception of her…then surely there is a possibility that we can all hone an aspect of that ourselves? Change what you put out there and you’ll completely change the responses you get back.

It’s been talked about many times over and those of you who have read the book The Secret will know what I am talking about. The laws of attraction. This is living proof that actually does work. You see whether it’s acting or not, we can all choose to change an aspect of our persona if we really want to. So I’m saying…hone it and own it! Can yourself a bit of Villanelle!

Next time you want the confidence to go and speak to that stranger you have been staring at for the last hour, pull a ‘Jodie’ and just do it…you never know what you may get back.

Words/Lou Andrews Image/Tony Dunn

THE EMILY PROJECT

I think the first thing wanted to ask you, is how did you get into victim support and what made you choose them?

So during the pandemic, I mean, working in HR was not fun! I was doing lots of redundancies, lots of furloughs and at that time I was a HR director, so it was like the buck stopped with me. I’ve always loved HR, but I got into HR because I liked dealing with people and at that stage just thought ‘the way that I’m dealing with people at the moment is not the most positive’. It just put a lot of things into perspective for me and I had a conversation with my husband, and I was just like, “I feel like there’s more that I could do that I’m not doing”. And then, one day, I just decided to see what was out there. I was quite interested in supporting those that had been through domestic abuse, so I did a Google search and the role of victim support came up, working across Kent, so I thought I’d apply. I read through the role and they were only asking for three hours a week and I thought, actually, get a lunch break every day surely I can spare three hours a week? There was training that also needed to be considered and one of the barriers to doing something like that before was like, ‘oh, they wanna do in-person training’ but, during the pandemic, obviously everything was online. So it was a lot easier, and they’ve continued to do it online, because it is easier to train groups of people. What does a typical day look like working for Victim Support? How does it all work?

Yeah, I agree. I think that’s the key thing really – being a good listener and being able to make people feel comfortable. So, in terms of development, I’m assuming they don’t just throw you out there and off you go! What’s the training like with things like this?

It’s very good. For the first stage, the types of things you might learn to support would be serious crime so maybe a burglary or an assault. The first bit of training is sort of learning how to support people through that and there might be a bit of role play that you do! Like I said, everything did was done online and it was a day session with regular breaks, but they make it interactive. It’s very interesting and you’re hearing different scenarios with videos, so it does really hold your attention.

Mum, stepmum, mum-to-be, HR guru and victim support volunteer – we talk to a true human resource

So let me set the scene. It’s about 7.45pm on a Wednesday night and should have been on a Zoom call with Emily Hawkins-Longley at 7.30pm…but, due to my pretty awful tech skills its not going to plan. Finally, we are both in and I apologise for my tardiness! Emily doesn’t seem to mind at all. In fact, I must say, she looks pretty damn chilled and somewhat glowing…the latter is due to the fact that she is 27 weeks pregnant (a fact I am reminded of every 10 minutes as she changes position in the chair and a splash of guilt slaps me in the face)! Now, before share the actual interview with you, let me debrief you a little on Emily. She has been in HR for around 20 years and is currently head of people at Hearst UK (Elle, Good Housekeeping, etc). She is a stepmum to three, a full-time mum to one and, as I mentioned earlier, she also has one on the way. So, as you can imagine, she is one heck of a busy lady! She has also recently taken on volunteering for Victim Support. Now, many of us have had a burning desire to help people at some point in our lives and some of us may have even thought about taking up volunteering, but we just don’t have the time…well, this girl is proving that that may not necessarily be true…

I have about four cases on at any one time and normally call those people like once a week or every other week. It depends on the situation. I’ve also got a couple of cases that are long term that I might call once a month just to check in. The calls are booked in advance and for my first call with somebody, I usually just introduce myself and it’s a five-minute call and I then arrange a time to have a proper conversation with them. Because of the nature of the things that we’ll be discussing they need to be in the right head space and have the right environment to have that conversation. During that call, there are certain things I might need to do, for example, there’s something we do called a distance travel survey where we’ve got set questions to ask them such as ‘how would you rate your support network?’, ‘what’s your perception of safety?’. There might be things that help trigger a conversation if somebody is not feeling comfortable to just open up. Um, but yeah, so normally those calls are about an hour, so I’ll fit them in amongst my workdays. Some people like to be called after work which is fine and a lot of them like to be called around lunchtime coz they’re also working. So, can anyone do it? I think this is a key question, coz a lot of people look at things and think, ‘oh, I’m not qualified, or I don’t know what I’m doing!’ So can anyone do it, really?

I think so. You don’t need qualifications; you just need to complete the training. I think it’s just having the will to do it and learning how to be an active listener. It’s about really listening to the person and thinking about what you could do to help. A lot of people just need to feel like somebody cares.

Once I’d had a few cases of serious crime and really sort of cut my teeth on those, I then had further training. I went on to have domestic abuse support training and I’ve also done stalking training as well. More recently, I’ve gone on to have training in supporting serious sexual violence. Although these sound-like heavy topics, the calls can be quite positive, and you do feel like you’ve made a difference. And, you know, when you get to the stage where you feel ‘I dunno that you need me anymore’ – that’s the most satisfying thing – when you get to that point with somebody.

What I wanted to ask about is what’s the ongoing support from victim support like as you’re going along? So, you’ve done your training, what happens next? Are they there to support you throughout as well? If you’ve got questions and things like that or a tricky case?

Oh yeah, yeah. I mean each case has a case manager. Every time I speak to a client, I have to fill out a report and submit that back to Victim Support and I can put notes on there for a case manager to review. So, for example, we can do letters for people that are trying to move home. So, in cases like domestic abuse, they might need something for the housing association to put forward for a new house so they can leave the area for safety reasons. I could add this request to my notes. Also, with domestic abuse cases particularly, we have to keep asking questions with regards to how safe they are and if ever have any concerns or there’s been an incident that hasn’t been reported to police, you know, I might raise that with the case manager. In terms of my own mental health, I have check-in’s regularly with my manager at Victim Support and there are phone lines if you feel you need a bit more support yourself. I guess the thing that I’ve learned is to kind of really manage the way that deal with it and to sort of acknowledge that I’m not a robot. So, like if I hear something upsetting, I’ll do the call and might like come off

Words/Lou Andrews, Emily Hawkins-Longley

And, you know, when you get to the stage where you feel ‘I dunno that you need me anymore’ – that’s the most satisfying thing...

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