How to Kill a Fly

How to Kill a Fly Written by Reef Cole

reefcole.95@gmail.com

1

Setting:

A messy house, present day

Characters:

Gender at director’s discretion Jordan (20): Relaxed and casual. Wears work clothes.

Jo/Writer (20): Messy and disheveled. Wears comfortable clothes.

The Rebel (18): Loud and destructive. Wears a tank top, ripped jeans, and spiky wristbands and choker.

The Greaser (18): Cool and collected. Wears a leather jacket over a white shirt and jeans.

The Villain (25): Flashy and robust. Wears a robe.

The Super Hero (25): Strapping and just.

Standard tight-wearing hero.

The Demon (20): Cynical and formal. Wears a red suit.

The Lover (20): Hopeful and supportive.

Wears casual clothes.

2

Notes While there is a total of 8 characters in the play, it can be possible to perform this one-act with a minimum of four performers: one as Jo and three as two characters each, each one playing a ‘bad’ character (Rebel, Villain, and Demon) and a ‘good’ character (Greaser, Hero, and Lover). Jordan should be played by the same performer as one of the characters, regardless. With that said, don’t let this stop you from using 8 performers if they’re available.

Have the bed up against a wall, covering an entrance for Demon’s entrance.

3

SCENE 2 Setting:

Jo’s messy room. Wall down-stage covered in niche posters. The unmade bed is center stage and perpendicular to the back wall, an open window on the stage left side of the wall with a desk and chair under it, and a dresser on the stage right side. There is a small night desk stage right of the bed with a lamp and takeout box on top of it. There are clothes, books/magazines, and random pieces of paper everywhere, including the bed and desk. A towel lies at the foot of the bed. On top of the clothes and paper on the bed is another takeout box, along with used dishes and paper towels. On the desk lays a few stacks of books, along with the ones strewn about.

Somewhere in this mess is a clearly empty trash can and laundry basket.

At Rise:

Stage is empty. There is silence for 5 seconds as the audience stares at the mess. A buzz of a fly can then be consistently heard for 30 seconds. Jo’s screams and footsteps can be heard off-stage as the fly continues to buzz. Enters stage right, with an unconventional fly-killing weapon. If it’s a chainsaw, the revving can also be heard before they enter.

JO You will pay for your crimes against humanity!

(Jo screams and swings the weapon randomly across the room to kill the fly, with no success. It continues to buzz in the room as Jo kicks up clothes and paper. Eventually, Jo grabs the towel and throws it at the fly. There is silence for 5 seconds. The fly buzzes around again for about 15 more seconds.)

Goddammit!

(Jo sits down on the chair, momentarily defeated.)

4

JO (CONT.) Am I being punished? Is this what I get for not cleaning my room? Wow, what a FANTASTIC week I’m having! I can’t eat in my room for one week without a fucking parasite!

(Fly buzzes in response.)

Oh, I’m sorry, but YOU ARE IN MY LIVING SPACE! I’m trying to make deadlines that are due in about(Jo looks at his empty wrist.)

5 days ago and I can’t focus with you buzzing around in my fucking headspace. Unless you are paying rent, you can get the fuck out or die!

(Fly responds again.)

Oh, you think you have it bad, well I’ve been alone for a whole month now with barely anyone to ever talk to. Do you know what that’s like? Do you know what it’s like to talk to a fucking fly? I feel like Hamlet talking to the ghost of his dead father.

Only it’s more like Claudius died instead and decided to fuck with me just because he couldn’t sleep with my mom. I am so fucking alone right now. And I know everyone is busy, but it doesn’t help that I’ve also had my heart kicked in the mud just a month ago. Right before my birthday! Where I was alone.

(Beat.)

You know, this isn’t the first time that I’ve been this alone either. I’ve talked to them about it, and how I hate it, but it just keeps happening. And I just hate being alone. I hate being alone with my own thoughts. My inner monologues and soliloquys.

I want more than just a message as I write all that I write.

(Beat.)

I mean, is it my fault? Do they actually hate me? I mean, Morgan broke up with me. Had a lot of fun, but didn’t have that spark.

Broke up with me on a Tuesday. I had my Green Day shirt, Morgan had a Blink-182 shirt. Wanted to stay friends, though. Wait, did the break up happen because our favorite bands hate each other?

No that would be a horrible McGuffin, there must be a better

5

JO (CONT.) reason. Something more concrete. Maybe I should call- No, it’s not the best time. Some other time. Yeah. Definitely.

(Beat.)

How do I know that they’re all not just talking shit behind my back? Planning to just drop me without saying anything. Was it a bad idea to base that last story on all of us? That one plot similar to that one incident? That one character based off of our former friend? Is that it? Did I make it too obvious? A simile of events.

(Beat.)

I just wanted to help.

(Fly buzzes around without stopping. Jo sits in contemplation and then laughs.)

Yep. I’ve lost it. I have become my own antagonist. I have just shut myself away from the outside world with only a fly for company. Wow, what a wonderful exposition for my fall from grace.

(Fly continues to Buzz.)

Maybe I can get some work done while ignoring the fly. Maybe?

(Jo tries to fold some clothes while the fly continues to buzz.

Can’t even get through one piece.)

Yep, this ain’t happenin. Get the fuck over here!

(Jo picks up the weapon and continues to chase after the fly, makes further mess of the room in the process. This goes on as guitar riffs start to be heard. They become louder and louder, unnoticed by Jo. REBEL enters stage left and helps Jo try to kill the fly.)

REBEL Fuck yeah, lets wreck the place!

6

(Rebel knocks over the desk and throws a book. The buzzing stops. Jo notices Rebel and becomes frightened.)

JO Yo, what the fuck?!

REBEL Let’s make it a rocked out part-ay!

(Rebel jumps over the bed and knocks down the night stand, throws a random object out the open window.)

REBEL (CONT.) Fuck yeah! Let’s keep it goin!

(Jo points the weapon at Rebel. Rebel stops, but can’t stop moving.)

JO Yo, who the fuck are you and how did you get in my house?

REBEL Who am I?! Who am I?! I am The Rebel! The follower of the cause!

The one to bring true justice to our ever corrupted world!

Pumped with adrenaline and heroine, I am your character written through your own hand and blood to take down the system!

JO Wait, what areREBEL I am in this for the long run, Writer! You can’t stop the music!

When the music starts, you can’t stop the music! Fuck it!

(Rebel takes a book and rips some of the pages out.)

JO Woah! Hey, hey! I’m still working on that!

(Rebel looks at what he ripped and then awkwardly tosses it under the bed.)

7

REBEL Well, we’re all working on dreams, Writer! But the Man is planning to fuck you up! You have to prepare to retaliate!

JO By ripping up my books?

REBEL The man is in the words, Writer! They’re everything! You can’t trust no one! You can’t trust anyone! A writer shouldn’t even trust himself!

JO Wait, stop distracting me. You’re a character from one of my stories? How the hell does that work?

REBEL No clue, Writer! Just heard you bitchin’ and trying to kill something and I wanted to help!

JO By coming out of my closet and wrecking the place?

(Rebel looks around.)

REBEL By the looks of it, your pad’s already a wreck! Didn’t need any help doing that!

JO (Sarcastic.)

Well geez, thanks.

REBEL This is the perfect environment to rock out to!

(Rips off sheets on the bed and jumps on it, playing air guitar.)

REBEL (CONT.) Breakin the law! Breakin the law!

JO I don’t want to live like this, it’s disgusting.

8

REBEL Says who?! The Man?! Social Norms?! Fuck that shit, Writer! This is your mess! You live life the way you want to without anyone judging you! And if they do?! Fuck them in the ass!

JO Are you kidding me? People wouldn’t want to hang out with me with that attitude.

REBEL Yo, fuck people! All of them! Including your friends! They’re a bunch of dumbasses who don’t know how to have a good time with you!

JO Hey, they’re my friends. Don’t talk about them like that.

REBEL If they were your friends, would you be rocking out alone, right now?! Would they allow you to give up on them the same way they gave up on you?!

JO And how do you know me? How do you know them?

REBEL Listen, Writer! Your friends are the man! You’ve told them already how you feel about being alone! They should know you hate being alone! And how long have you been alone?!

JO That doesn’t matter, I’m still able to call(Rebel grabs Jo and twitches a little.)

REBEL How long have you been left alone, you pathetic piece of shit?!

JO (Hesitant.)

A month.

9

(Rebel shakes his head a bit and lets go of Jo. The twitch is gone, but Rebel’s mood is more somber.)

REBEL Listen. It is their fault that you are alone. They are in the wrong. Revel in this atmosphere. Breathe it in. Because this silence, this air, this chaos, it’s perfect for people like us.

JO And how do you know me so well that you can tell me what’s “right” for me?

REBEL You created me, Writer. I know the demons. I know that monster that lurks under your bed and it is not pretty. I am every bit as qualified to know you like your daddy’s mamma.

JO That doesn’t even make any sense. Well, kind of, butREBEL You wrote me alone, Writer! You gave me my settings. My story was in your hands, and the people you gave me abandoned me, but I never gave up. You wrote me to never give up, but you wrote them to give up on me. Or perhaps it’s the other way around. If that’s the case, who is responsible for me being alone?

(Beat.)

REBEL (CONT.) You see, you don’t have to make sense for no one, but yourself, Writer. Our stories are not that different. Do you get it now?

JO Yeah, I think so. I’ve written it. Fuck the world and all that, right? Just trust no one, but yourself and don’t let anyone’s judgement bother you.

(Rebel stares at Jo and smiles. Rebel’s brighter and violent mood returns.)

10

REBEL Fuck yeah, Writer! We’re in the long game! We’re playin this song and the world cannot stop us, so let’s wreck the rest of this world! Woo! (Rebel throws a book out the window and jumps out of it. Jo doesn’t follow. The fly buzzes in the room.)

JO I’ve written this before. This isn’t the first time that I’ve been in this situation, and you know what? It won’t be the last.

I may have to agree with my own character. I may not be crazy enough to jump out of a second floor window, but that won’t stop me from doing whatever I want. I mean, I wrote him so he must be right. Fuck everyone, because it’s their fault I’m alone. I am by myself in this mess. And if anyone has an issue with that, they can go fuck themselves.

(GREASER enters stage right, combs through greased hair.)

GREASER Well, that’s not completely wrong.

(Jo jumps at Greaser’s presence.)

JO Jesus Christ!

GREASER There’s definitely nothing wrong with being by yourself. How do you think most of us Lone Wolves get to be so cool?

(Greaser puts the comb away and shoots out finger guns.)

JO And who the hell are you?

GREASER Oh, come on. You know me.

(Jo looks at Greaser with a blank and guarded stare.)

GREASER (CONT.) Come on. I’m THE dude.