Redhanded magazine Autumn 17 by RedHanded magazine

DON’T GET CAUGHT WITHOUT IT

AUTUMN 2017

WANT SOME? LIAM’S BACK FOR MORE RUSSIAN ROULETTE

WE ASKED JOHN TOSHACK… WHAT NEXT?

THE SQUIDS ARE ALRIGHT A FOODIE TRIP TO ITALY

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50 ISSUES… AND BETTER THAN EVER

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CONTENTS Features

17 A chat with Tosh So, we aren’t going to Russia. Can the Godfather of Welsh football help us look to the future? 21 As you were! Liam Gallagher’s new album is the business. But he’s still arguing with Noel 25 No pushover With the Autumn internationals a drop kick away how will Wales fare against the All Blacks? 29 Festive Stuffing ‘Tis the season! We’re in the mood for some festive fine dining 35 Cook up a storm Add some Michelin-starred magic to your pad with a swanky fitted kitchen 44 Noisy Boys! Only Men Aloud are doing covers of Justin Bieber these days. Whatever next?

Regulars 6 Scene & Heard Our access-all-areas guide to going out this festive season 10 Right Stuff Go on! You know you want it, you know you do 12 Niall’s World Niall’s determined to enjoy it while it lasts 14 Write On Kicking off: An explosive extract from Lee Byrne’s new book 33 Travel This foodie tour around the Aeolian Islands is gastronomical! 39 Fashion High class renovations. Suited and booted at the opulent Exchange Hotel 46 Lifestyle Style and substance from white-water rafting to looking great on a budget 57 Sport Can Bony turn things around for Swansea? 59 Cars Time to cross over! It’s the new Mazda CX5 60 Health & Grooming Fringe magnet! Top potions for your brilliant barnet 63 Reviews Each issue we read, eat, booze, listen and pogo like mad… all for you. 74 The Back Page Bennett’s hit 50! No he’s not that old, but this is his 50th column!?

20,030 Total Average Net Distribution per issue between 1st January – 31st December 2016 through an average of 862 quality outlets in South Wales Conroy Media Ltd all enquiries: 029 2019 0224 email: redhanded@conroymedia.co.uk www.facebook.com/red.handedmagazine twitter.com/#!/RedHandedMag

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REDHANDED 3

umn

50 ISSUES AND STILL GOING STRONG

We’re proud that here in Wales, people of incredibly high calibre and genius find time to talk to us... 4

for all those on it, but if you want to see who we think should make Publisher: Paul Mulligan it big in 2007 check out page 20. Who would you put on your list? Sales Manager: Owain Taylor-Shaw Why not drop us a line at the usual email address and let us know. Tel: 029 2019 0224 One Welsh lass on our list we like an awful lot. So much we’ve sales@conroymedia.co.uk only gone and interviewed her too. Eve Myles has burst onto the scene with her starring role in Torchwood. Whether you’re into scifi spin-offs or not you can’t fail to see she has the talent to light up PRODUCTION any TV set (and I’m not just referring to that Torchwood lesbo kiss Designer: Alan Chaston scene either). Someone who’s at the top of his game and certainly Sub-editor: Sally Newman doesn’t need any recommendation from us is magic-toed maestro Printed by: PCP Ltd, Halesfield, Shropshir Ryan Giggs. It’s rare to get the chance to interview someone who is quite such a Welsh legend, so we were totally delighted when he agreed to speak to us about a new Cool Cymru charity photoshoot To receive RedHanded call 029 2019 0224 he’s involved with. And of course - as always - we’ve got the cover feature with a gaggle of sexy birds. No idea if the Pussycat Dolls RedHanded Magazine is published by Conroy will be around this time next year - and don’t much care… When 2003. It was different our publisher Paul stuck an adus? in the they looka like that, era theywhen are going on the cover. (Shallow, YouGuardian looking Media Ltd, PO Box 607, Cardiff CF24 1ZR for an editor forkidding.) a magazine he planned to launch. (He was going to call it Red Hot. ©Conroy Media 2006. All rights reserved. This have to be Glad I talked him out that one.)Glyn said some rude things in Welsh, publication may not be reproduced or Elsewhere BigofBrother’s transmitted in any form in whole or in part Niall Griffiths penned another exclusive new piece of (slightly Thatpolitical) year, theprose Stereophonics released YouMatthew Gotta GoDavid ThereScott To Come Back, Britain went to without the written permission of the publisher and welcome back to the war tough in Iraq,job Concorde flew for the last time, DVDs VHS video to as the format Whilst every care has been taken in the of regular restaurant reviewer. (We overtook hope you’ll manage of choice for watching movies at home, Facebook didn’t exist, Funeral for get through all that food each issue, mate!) Resident comic genius a Friend were preparation of this magazine, the publishers massive, Cardiff City just in been promoted to the can not be held responsible for the accuracy o Bennett Arron is had playing Cardiff in a week orChampionship. so - see Scene(We andwon’t talk about the Rugby the information herein, or any consequence Heard (p7) forWorld moreCup.) details. Take a copy of the mag along and maybe he’ll sign it for you! Just think what that would be worth Ouron first issue was only 66 pages. It ran an interview with the Stereophonics, featured eBay. a piece by young Welsh writer Owen Sheers who’s gone on to great things and a Welsh girlband calledgreetings TNT who went offreaders with a whimper a bang. Season’s (regular will knowrather I HATEthan Christmas)

RedHanded are not necessarily those of the editor or the publishers.

Over the years we’ve featured Alex Jones in alluring shoots, exclusive chats with the www.redhandedmagazine.co.uk Manics, Joe Calzaghe, Charlotte Church, Rob Brydon, Cerys Matthews, Ellie Goulding and many others. We’re proud that here in Wales, people of incredibly high calibre and Jeremy Head genius find time to talk to us, because of who we are and where we publish. Editor Redhanded@conroymedia.co.uk If you’ve been picking up RedHanded and enjoying it since 2003 you’ll have aged a bit, just like us. Hopefully we’re wiser as well as older. We’ve certainly learnt how to endure. The magazine remains as big and bold as ever. The features are way better. Many of the excellent freelancers who write for us have stayed for years. (In particular Bennett. You can read his 50th column on the back page of this issue. He has written in every single one.) We couldn’t do this without them. Several have gone on from RedHanded to write for the likes of the Daily Mail and The Guardian and we’re proud of that too. Thank you guys, you know who you are. In a world that has been knocked sideways by the financial crisis and the arrival of the internet, it’s remarkable we’re still here. Many, many publishers have gone to the wall. The reason? My hunch is it’s about the relationships we’ve built with both our readers and our advertisers.

RedHanded really works. If someone places an ad in this magazine, they get more people coming to their shop, more people buying their stuff. Advertisers often start with REDHANDED Winter 2006 one ad then come back and buy a series. Despite the internet, despite the many more things competing for peoples’ attention, RedHanded flies out of the distribution boxes every issue. And we know how important it is to keep the mag full of unique, brilliant features and columns when others might have watered stuff down. We make sure we only take ads from companies we rate too. Companies whom we’d buy stuff from ourselves. In a world where advertising is increasingly seen as bad - particularly online where ads are intrusive and controversy swirls around how election and referendum results might have been rigged by ‘false news’ - bringing readers and advertisers together with a quality magazine that both can depend upon is if anything more valuable than ever. I hope you think so too. Thank you for reading. Thank you for advertising. Here’s to the next 50! Jeremy Head Editor

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SCENE AND HEARD

“His live shows have been intriguingly described as ‘intimately berserk’. ”

Want to know what’s happening? Bill Carey has his big fat finger on the pulse Summer was pretty good wasn’t it? OK that sticky week in late June was as good as it got on the weather front, but culturally, we feasted on some epic entertainment. From mega stadium gigs to staple festival favourites, we were spoilt. But fear not, there’s plenty to gorge on in the changing seasons. Here are some of the highlights from November through to February next year.

Winter beats

Put the wellies back in the shed and slip your tootsies into something more comfortable as live music moves from muddy fields to drier climes. We’re looking forward to getting our Madchester sweat on as Happy Mondays (Cardiff University, November 17, £29.50 cardiffstudents.com/whatson/live-music/) bring their greatest hits tour to Cardiff. With no new material for over a decade, this is a straight-up nostalgia cash-in, but a sweet one for those who love a beery swagger and the shake of a maraca.

And whilst we’re talking Manchester. Don’t try getting tickets for Liam Gallagher’s gig at the Motorpoint in December. They’re all sold out, man. (Console yourself by reading our feature about him elsewhere in the mag.) Moving closer to present day tunes, and an artist who featured in these pages recently. Pembrokeshire songstress Betsy (National Waterfront Museum, Swansea, November 23, £8, seetickets.com) hits the road this autumn. In typical Welsh tradition, her voice is an absolute boomer. Catch her at this great price before she inevitably moves onto to bigger arenas. No sign of any beat surrender from the Modfather, Paul Weller. Next year marks his 40th anniversary in the music biz and he’s coming to Cardiff. (Motorpoint Arena, February 21 2018, £49.70, livenation.co.uk/ cardiff) Refreshingly, Paul isn’t one to look back mistyeyed on his career. This gig will be dominated by tracks from his latest album, A Kind Revolution. Of course, there will be some Jam classics to keep your inner Mod satisfied. From the satisfied to the sometimes surreal, Father John Misty (Cardiff University, November 4, £22.50, cardiffstudents.com/whatson/live-music/) will be showcasing tracks from his latest offering, Pure Comedy. His live shows have been intriguingly described as ‘intimately berserk’. We’ll definitely have a slice of that. If you’re looking for a night of dumb, frivolous fun (and we know you are) then look no further than the poptastic Steps (Motorpoint Arena, November 29 & December 10, £47.05, livenation.co.uk/cardiff). An added cheesy bonus, support comes from Dutch Eurodance stalwarts Vengaboys.

Tickling your festive funny bones

American stand-up legend Chris Rock (Motorpoint Arena, January 12, 2018, £55, livenation.co.uk/cardiff) plays his first ever gig in Wales in the new year. This is

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a rare treat to see a wickedly funny guy at the height of his powers. Another rare treat, all smart phones are collected at the door before entering the arena so morons have to watch the show with their peepers instead of through a tiny screen. Nice touch, Chris. Now, can I have my phone back? Tousled-haired ladies’ man Russell Brand (February 27, 2018, St David’s Hall, Cardiff, £27.50, stdavidshallcardiff. co.uk) has cleaned up his act (well, we think) in a new show titled Re:Birth. Gone are the tales of debauchery and fast-living, instead musings on fatherhood and the current political climate. It is funny, honest. A regular on comedy panel shows such as Mock The Week and 8 Out of 10 Cats, Ellie Taylor (The Riverfront, Newport, November 18, £12 - £14, newportlive. co.uk) brings her latest show, This Guy, to Newport - a hilarious, self-centred appraisal of her ticking biological clock and how she’d rather welcome a grizzly cat into her home than a spewing sprog. Author, journalist and Cardiff boy John Ronson (November 16, St David’s Hall, Cardiff, £17.50, stdavidshallcardiff.co.uk) is ready to recount the adventure of a lifetime in John Ronson’s Psychopath Night. Based on his best-selling book The Psychopath Test, Ronson will run through a series of funny, terrifying and utterly compelling events which will determine if we’ve gone labelling-crazy or if psychopaths really do rule the world. Something a little less heavy, Liverpudlian funny man John Bishop (November 14-16, December 1-2, Motorpoint Arena, Cardiff, £41.30, livenation.co.uk/ cardiff) is Winging It in his latest show. A relative latercomer to stand-up, Bishop is an amusing raconteur which sets him apart from his younger peers. Expect a show that flits between bar room storytelling and quickfire gags.

There is nothing like a Dame

If there’s is one thing we can guarantee over the festive period, it’s dames. Lots of them. Timeless panto Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (New Theatre, Cardiff, December 9 2017 - January 14 2018, from £13, newtheatrecardiff.co.uk) features a Bridgend tour de force of Gareth ‘Alfie’ Thomas and former X Factor contestant Chico (a tedious link, I know). Funny man Mike Doyle will be on dame duty as Nurse. Not to be outdone in the drag stakes, probably the dame of dames, Widow Twankey causes all sorts of bumbling chaos in Aladdin (The Riverfront, Newport, December 5, 2017 - January 7, 2018, from £6.50, newportlive. co.uk). The show also features former Eastenders’ actor Richard Elis as the Genie. <Panto clash klaxon!> Not to be outdone by Newport, Aladdin (Swansea Grand Theatre, December 15, 2017 - January 14, 2018) is riding a carpet west towards

Swansea. Different show, different Widow Twankey, but the same result: plenty of laughs, tunes and audience participation. (It’s behind you!)

Anything but a Dame!

OK, panto drag isn’t your bag. We get it. There’s plenty of other shows on during the festive season where you don’t have to join in, you big Grinch. Tiger Bay: The Musical (Wales Millennium Centre, Cardiff, November 13 - 25, from £7, wmc.org.uk) is a brilliant retelling of the restless world of the Cardiff docks at the turn of the 20th century, where extreme poverty met supreme wealth. A world away from Tiger Bay but staying on a musical footing, Miss Saigon (Wales Millennium Centre, Cardiff, November 29, 2017 - January 6, 2018, from £25, wmc.org.uk) is the legendary West End favourite reworked by Cameron Mackintosh. Expect big tunes and even bigger tears. Another dame-free treat can be found in the outdoors as Wind In The Willows (Sherman Theatre, Cardiff, December 1st - 30th, from £16, shermantheatre.co.uk) is the Sherman Theatre’s Christmas offering. Kenneth Grahame’s classic book is re-imagined for the stage as Toad and Rat go head-first towards adventure in their motor and poor old Badger tries his best to keep order. Unlikely. Until next time, friends.

“Another rare treat, smart phones are collected at the door before entering the arena...” www.redhandedmagazine.co.uk

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In Brief To Infinity and Beyond

It’s all happening at Moksh. Award winning Moksh Restaurant in Cardiff Bay is renowned for the quality and ambition of its Indian cuisine (Indian Cuisine And Beyond, as they put it). It’s also ‘compact and bijou’ which, whilst eminently sensible for a young, independent start-up ten years ago, does limit the number of guests that can experience chef Stephen Gomes’ wizardry. It also places a limit on the potential for growing and expanding the business. So, Stephen and his business partners have bitten the bullet and are moving all of ten yards to a larger site in Mermaid Quay, Cardiff Bay in mid November. There’ll also be a new more, ambitious menu. If that wasn’t enough they have just launched a cool street-food shack called Gourmet Guru plus there are exciting plans for the old site. We’ll know more next issue. www.moksh.co.uk Tel. 029 2049 8120

Welsh and Unlimited Mobile for 20 quid!

A-Meze-ing Troy

You may have seen the ad in this issue, but just in case you haven’t we simply have to tell you about an amazing mobile phone deal available from Wales’ first and only mobile phone company, RWG Mobile. Unlimited data, unlimited calls and unlimited texts for only £20 a month! Remarkable value for money and unmatched in the market place. If that’s not enough, they’ve got the best signal network in Wales and you can also use wifi, via their app, to make calls if you’re stuck in a building with no signal. £20 a month all in and a great service. Top stuff. www.rwgmobile.wales

While we’re talking about value money, the team at RedHanded recently paid a visit to Troy, the best Kebab restaurant this side of the Severn bridge (don’t take our word for it, this verdict came from the Times, no less), and had Troy’s all in £20 deal (min 4 people). It’s not far short of an all you can eat package – hot and cold meze that just keep coming until you’re stuffed and most of the main courses (excluding steak and fish). Gluttony? Hell, yeah. And we love it. Troy, 192 City Road, Cardiff CF24 3JF. 029 2049 9339 www.troymezebar.com

Super Kings

And here’s another great deal. The Kings Arms at Pentrych are offering 25% off for RedHanded readers who dine at the pub. We’ve reviewed the Kings and it was great, a view that’s supported on Trip Advisor. Cosy, welcoming, lovely, high quality food and excellent beers and ciders. They’ll be showing the Autumn internationals too so can you think of a better way to watch a game (unless you’ve nabbed free tickets for a match)? We can’t. Especially, when it’s run by such lovely people and beats at the heart of the community. Church Road, Pentyrch, Cardiff CF15 9QF. 029 2089 0202 www.kingsarmspentyrch.com

From Russia With Love

The Russian State Ballet of Siberia has built an international reputation for delivering performances of outstanding quality and depth. The soloists and corps de ballet never fail to delight with their breath-taking physical ability. Described by the Financial Times as “neatly and zestily danced by a corps of 24”. For the 2017 season, the Company will merge traditional and digital worlds with an imaginative staging set against an ever-changing colourful backdrop sprinkled with magical special effects. They’ll be bringing The Nutcracker, Swan Lake and Cinderella to St David’s Hall, Cardiff 19-31 December. It may surprise someone of you to know that ballet is actually very moving and beautifully poetic to behold. Good toons too. Get yourself tickets from www.stdavidshallcardiff.co.uk or call 029 2087 8444

Touch Down at Pitch

The perfect city centre venue for beer and a bit before or after one of the Autumn internationals has got to be Pitch in Mill Lane. Handy for the stadium, cool but relaxed vibe great beer but above all it’s the only Welsh bar and restaurant in town, serving locally sourced, fresh produce from early til late. And serving it very well too (checkout reviews online). So if you want a real Welsh atmosphere with real Welsh food, you know where to go. 3 Mill Lane, Cardiff CF10 1FL. Tel. 029 2022 8882 www.pitchcardiff.com

Get Smarta

Smarta Construction and Technology have been busy recently. Having established themselves as the go to for all things home automation, they expanded to include construction, which made sense since home automation can require a fair amount of structural work and the same skills. Now that automation is moving into kitchens, and their customers are asking for it, they’ve moved into the kitchen business too, stocking high-end brands like Beeck and Laura Ashley, and of course lots of kit from Neff, Bosch and Siemens, which can all be seamlessly integrated into home automation. And you can see it all close up at their impressive new showroom. Unit K7, Capital Business Park, Parkway, Cardiff, CF3 2PU. Tel. 02920 006588 www.thinksmarta.co.uk

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SCARLETT RAVEN | MARC MAROT

SATURDAY 2 DECEMBER, 1-3PM

As the UK’s leading group of high street galleries, Castle Fine Art has been delivering style, creativity and quality to its clients for over 20 years. Offering a welcoming, relaxing environment to enjoy art in accessible, high street locations, Castle Fine Art’s ethos is encapsulated in its motto “Your World, Our Art”. Specialising in original works and signed limited editions, Castle Fine Art in Cardiff, boasts an extensive collection sure to enchant and inspire. Visitors will find work from cultural icons such as Bob Dylan and Ronnie Wood on the gallery’s walls, alongside pieces from critically acclaimed artists making their mark on today’s contemporary art scene. They say a picture paints a thousand words. Under the surface of Scarlett Raven’s AR paintings are tens of thousands of other images, overlaid and layered with thought and inspiration. To find out more turn to page 47. Scarlett and Marc will be in the gallery to promote their work on Saturday 2 December from 1-3PM. This is a great opportunity to learn more about this fascinating process which throws into sharp relief that great question of whether a work of art is ever truly finished. Their poignant undertaking pits the past against the present, reframing history and classic painting techniques through the increasingly magical lens of 21st century technology. Please contact the gallery if you would like to be added to the guest list.

Grand Arcade, St David’s Dewi Sant, Cardiff, CF10 2ER 0292 213 0100 | cardiff@castlefineart.com

Under a Green Sea

Limited Edition Hand Embellished Boxed Canvas of 50 £1950

THE RIGHT STUFF VORWERK FOR IDLE HANDS

OUR FRIENDS ELECTRIC

As with most things robotic, their first incarnations are highly innovative but ultimately chunky and a bit clunky. Fast forward from the very first consumer robotic vacuums that came on the market and you’ve got the highly evolved Kobold VR200 Robot Vacuum from Vorwerk that can be controlled by an app on your phone. It is completely automatic, so it can be programmed to clean your home when you’re not even there. It will also learn and memorise the best routes around your home – and is designed to get into even the most tricky, dust-specked and cobwebbed corners so that it delivers the best possible clean each time. At the same price as top-end, professional vacuums it’s not for everyone, but will certainly start paying for itself if used in place of a regular (human) cleaner. Retail: www.vorwerk.co.uk Price: £749.00

The Kobold VK200 Upright Vacuum has the distinct air of a traditional product that has had somebody sit down and start from scratch – because if you were going to design one yourself this is how it should look. For example, this vacuum is something of a hybrid. It combines the manual handling needed to push and manoeuvre the unit with a fully automated floor detection function which identifies what type of floor it is cleaning (from carpet to parquet) and adjusts its settings accordingly. Enhanced with accessories for above-floor surfaces as well, the VK200 expertly deals with upholstery, furniture, mattresses, textiles and anything else you need cleaned. A perfect partner for any selfrespecting bachelor-pad. Retail: www.vorwerk.co.uk Price: (from) £749.99

BLADE OF GLORY

Though designed with small bars, restaurants (and even barbershops) in mind - at roughly £500 this countertop draught beer machine from Heineken wouldn't look amiss in a swanky high-end bachelor-pad. With Heineken and Birra Moretti versions already available, plans are afoot to roll out the Blade and the compatible 8kg kegs to other brands very soon. Price: £500 (+VAT) Retail: www.matthewclark.co.uk

HOME MOVIE

The beauty of the Epson EH-TW6800 is that whilst it delivers truly professional levels of projection, it is still really easy to install and use. You’ll feel immersed in bright, colourful and Full HD images presented in incredible detail with its notable 120,000:1 contrast ratio, in 2D and 3D modes. Setting up is also easy with a wide lens-shift range, optical zoom and vertical and horizontal keystone correction. It can be placed almost anywhere and use most of your home’s surfaces to project onto – so why not create your personal pop-up cinema in your own home, moving from room to room on a whim. Retail: www.puretheatre.com Price: £1699.00

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CONNECTED CONSCIOUSNESS

Connected homes – jargon for Wired Magazine fanboys right? Maybe so, but think of that SmartTV, wifi printer, Hive boiler thermostat or app-controlled lighting currently quietly running your home for you. What you’ve got there, is the nucleus of a home that’s in dire need of some ‘connecting’. Ubiquity’s AmpliFi HD Mesh System is designed to solve many of the widely-recognized challenges of the connected home, including dead zones, slow connections, and difficulties in setting up and configuring a router. Designed from the outside in, AmpliFi is also meant to be a stylish addition to the home. In order to reduce clutter, the MeshPoints can seamlessly be installed into any open electrical socket without any cables. Connected without the connections… Price: £359.00 Retail: www.amazon.co.uk

H20-BOMB

Once the ultimate symbol of a life lived in a constant state of mortgaged-bliss, the humble jet wash has been transformed into a kick-ass baddie with a range of powerful cleaning apparatus. The Karcher K5 Full Control Plus Home comes with a range of different add-ons and attachments – with a specialist tool for blasting the muck off patios and garden tiles as well as other unsuspecting garden miscellany. Why go for a twee hosepipe when you can have this H20bomb going off in your gaff. Price: £445.00 Retail: www.amazon.co.uk

MANOEUVRES IN THE DARK

This being the season for camping in freezing, damp tents – no self-respecting camper is complete without a super-powered torch (to help with finding the tent door in the middle of the night). Featuring a rugged ergonomic design and high quality finish, GP Batteries’ ‘Beam’ collection of flashlights has been designed for both the serious outdoor consumer and casual music festival fair-weather camper. The High Lumen Rechargeable PR57 is the perfect purchase for those wanting a bit more from their night-time illuminations. Price: £84.99 Retail: www.ukgpbatteries.com

TWISTER

Using the dial, you can expand the Manfrotto TwistGrip to fit your phone, and then securely lock it for a firm hold. Featuring a tripod adaptor to attach your phone to a photographic support, and a connection for other accessories such as an LED light, the TwistGrip is portable and lightweight. The stylish design means it fits into any pocket or bag so you never let a great photographic moment go by. Great for taking photos like a pro, and you’ll look the part too! Price: £44.95 Retail: www.apple.com/uk

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ENJOY IT

WHILE IT LASTS

With the world seeming increasingly crazy, Niall finds solace in just being alive

If there’s one thing I’ve learned recently when writing about politics it’s that it’s a pointless exercise; the speed of change means that what is written in the morning may very well be obsolete in the afternoon. Which makes you look foolish, and I have many ways of doing that already - I don’t need another one. And anyway, I’m writing this during parliamentary recess, when all of our great and good are on their jollies (in contrast to the EU’s Brexit negotiators, who have been told to cancel their holidays in order to focus on Brexit, but no matter), and even though the Trumpster has threatened Kim Jong-Un with ‘fire and fury the likes of which the world has never seen’ (on the anniversary of the bombing of Nagasaki, for God’s sake), life, for the moment, goes on, in all its mess and laughter and pain and loveliness. Amid the greatest constitutional upheaval this country has known since 1945, and under the shadow of nuclear annihilation, all the little bits of life that make up a personal history continue to fall. Here are some of them:

One of my cats got killed on the road. I found her broken little body. I heard my heart break - a wet snapping sound. Her brother, a few nights ago, returned from some wild adventure with his head in the shape of an egg. He looked ridiculous; remember in childhood comics, when someone would get tonked on the head and a lump would rise in a cone with a tuft of hair on the end? That was what it looked like. The vet said it was an infected cat bite, and explained that he was a proper alpha battle cat who stood his ground, which was why all his wounds were to the front of him; she seemed to assume that this information would appeal to the machismo in me, and I can’t deny that it did. She took him away, shaved his skull and then, basically, popped the pus out of his head like a giant zit. He looks even dafter now, with his tonsure, like a tiny monk. His sister’s ashes are scattered in the garden, under the yew tree, her favourite basking spot. The more I live with cats the more convinced I become that they were a foolish choice of animal to domesticate. Although I find them irresistible. I fell down the stairs in my girlfriend’s parents’ house; middle of the night, half-asleep, nude, tumbling all-shapes down the bare oak staircase. The entire left hand side of my body was, for several days, one huge bruise, amazing colours, like a sunset seen through smog. I was lucky, really; we were in Shropshire to pick up a friend from the station, visiting from America. She fell down the stairs last year and broke her neck - her vertebrae fused, she worked very hard to regain full cognition, and even now, her right arm has lost a lot of feeling. I, by contrast, just looked like a liquorice allsort for a few days.

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I spent some time in Germany, in Dortmund; the students on the Modern British Lit course there translated some poetry of mine into German so I was invited over to do a few public readings, with the students: the same poems in two languages. The readings took place in record shops and dingy nightclubs, raucous events, sweaty and beery and loud and massively enjoyable, as public readings should

“life, for the moment, goes on, in all its mess and laughter and pain and loveliness” be. And the students were curious and inquisitive and sharp and bright and instilled in me some hope for the future of Europe, and indeed humanity; one night, sitting at a bar with one of the lecturers, we got to talking about the architecture we could see, how new it was, how all older buildings had been obliterated by British bombs. This became a conversation about the unfathomable madness of the fact that, within living memory, our forebears hated each other, killed each other in vast amounts. But this is politics. None of that, here. I learnt to make arepas, which are South American in origin; small cornflour cakes, fried and baked then split across the middle and stuffed with cheese and herbs or mushrooms and beans or, really, anything that takes your fancy. I made them with polenta, as I didn’t have any authentic maize meal, but I ordered some online and it was delivered yesterday so tonight I’ll make the genuine articles. Oh, and vegetarian Scotch eggs, with a variety of coatings, by far the best being McSween vegetarian haggis. I’ll make these tomorrow for my weekend guest, a brilliant woman who I haven’t seen for years and who spent some time as a war reporter. She tells a fantastic story about standing on a berm in Afghanistan with mujahedeen artillery shells shrieking over her head, holding her Gucci handbag in front of her face for protection. I’ve completed two novels and am now working on the edits. I’ve noticed that craneflies are getting bigger. I’m sleeping very well. It’s just life. Being alive. You lovely people, enjoy it while it lasts. ©Niall Griffiths 2017

I AIN’TCOMING BACK An exclusive extract from rugby legend Lee Byrne’s sensational new autobiography, The Byrne Identity

My phone rang. The words ‘Rob Howley mobile’ flashed up. It was a Saturday evening in November, 2013. I was sitting in a bar, enjoying a glass of red wine with Alex Lapandry, my best mate in France. Earlier that day, we’d beaten Montpellier, and I’d scored two tries. I was playing well. Life was good. I had a sixth sense about the purpose of the call. There’d been a glut of injuries in the Wales squad, and they were short of full-back cover for the following Friday’s match, an Autumn International against Tonga at the Millennium Stadium. I showed Alex the screen: ‘Byrney, answer it!’ he urged. He knew how desperate I’d been to reclaim my Wales jersey. I hesitated for a moment… then pressed ‘decline’. Why? On the face of it, I should have been delighted to get Howley’s call. After all, I hadn’t started a Wales game since the World Cup match against Fiji more than two years earlier. This game was my chance. And it would have been a chance to prove my doubters wrong, to show that I could still perform on the biggest stage. This wasn’t the first time I’d heard from Howley that autumn: surprising, because I’d barely spoken with him before then since the World Cup in 2011. But one day, out of the blue, he called me about comments I’d made in The Western Mail newspaper. A journalist had contacted me to ask about Jonathan Davies’ expected move to Clermont the following season. I waxed lyrical about Clermont: about how much Foxy would enjoy the rugby and the lifestyle. At the very end of our chat, the reporter asked me about my own international future – specifically, whether I thought I had one. Jokingly, I answered: ‘I think they’ve lost my number!’ It was a throwaway comment, forgotten as soon as it was said. The next day, my phone went – it was Rob. He told me my phone number remark was on the back page of the paper, and wanted to know why I’d made it. ‘Rob, on my life… I talked about Jonathan Davies for 25 minutes and said that at the end. There was nothing in it.’ Towards the end of the conversation I asked him how he thought I was playing, and what my prospects were of a Wales recall. He said he’d phone me back to discuss it. The call never came. You may have inferred from the above that I’m not Howley’s biggest fan. We’d started working together in 2008 when Warren Gatland brought him into the Wales set-up. He’d overseen my best moments in a Wales shirt, and I rated him as an attack coach. But, in around 2011, cracks started to appear in our relationship. I’d been suffering with a knee injury, and had worked my backside off to make the squad for the

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World Cup. But when I returned to the training field, I noticed that Howley had a different attitude towards me. I felt he was trying to undermine me, subtly yet insidiously.

At the time Leigh Halfpenny – the man who was to take my full-back jersey – was flavour of the month. ‘Great kick, Halfers. Well done, Halfers!’ Howley would yell during training. Fair enough, except when I nailed the same kick there’d be stony silence. ‘Awesome angle, Halfers!’ he’d cry, only to ignore anything decent I did, whilst loudly criticising my mistakes. These were not isolated incidents, but a recurring theme. The pattern became glaringly obvious to my teammates, who’d take the piss out of me about it. ‘Byrney!’ they’d shout at me, in imitation of Howley and his signature bawl. It was funny – but I was starting to get the impression the top brass didn’t want me. Please don’t think I’m whinging here. I appreciate that coaches have a job to do. And I also understand that players have their sell-by date. Naturally, I wouldn’t have enjoyed being phased out of the team however he’d done it. But I’d have had more respect for Howley if, as a senior coach, he’d taken me aside and told me what was happening. Far from being a strategy to help me improve, it seemed to me that Howley’s constant sniping was part of a grinding-down process to get me out of the team. The snide remarks had started earlier, when he began passing comment about my social life. ‘Good night last night, Byrney?’ or ‘Out again on the weekend, Byrney?’ he’d say, in front of the other players. Again, I thought this was unnecessary. It had never been a problem before, but now it seemed as if my social habits were being used as ammunition against me. So this was the background to the phone call I received that November night in 2013. For two years, there’d been no communication with the management; but here was a man – a man who I felt had tried to humiliate me in front of my teammates – ringing up and expecting me to come running because he’d clicked his fingers. I excused myself to Alex and checked my voicemail. Rob’s message was as I’d expected: ‘Byrney, get on the plane. You’re starting against Tonga.’ I took a moment to reflect, then called him back. It diverted to his voicemail. ‘Forget it, Rob,’ I said. ‘I ain’t coming back.’ I never played for Wales again. The Byrne Identity is out now, published by Y Lolfa, priced at £9.99. www.ylolfa.com

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THE GODFATHER JT: There is a saying that you don’t pay for the meal until you have had your dessert, because it is not finished until then and, in football, it is only after the last game that you can really analyse how things have gone.

Things changed quickly in the group as time went on, there were games where Wales dropped points when they had been leading and it left them with a lot to do. It complicated things for them, particularly the home games against Georgia and Serbia. He ranks as football royalty and will surely go down as one of the finest figures in the history of the game to have emerged from Wales. Having started his career with Cardiff City, John Toshack was part of Liverpool’s golden era of the 1970s and remarkably guided Swansea City from the bottom tier to the top-flight. He was a title winner during one of his two stints managing Real Madrid, and oversaw the blooding of a nucleus of Wales internationals who would lead the Dragons to the semi-finals of Euro 2016. His legacy is assured, so who better for RedHanded to discuss the state of Welsh football with in the wake of World Cup heartache? RedHanded: Hi John, before we discuss recent events, how do you reflect on your career as the 40th anniversary of your managerial bow approaches? John Toshack: It’s been over 40 years since I was first involved in the game with Cardiff and the changes over that time period have been terrific. I would not say I am envious of players today, it is just different and the level of scrutiny is different. I had a great time when I played and had some great times over my career. I am 68 now and I find it incredible to think where the last 40 years have gone, it seems to have all happened so quickly. But I am not retired just yet, there have been one or two things but I don’t have any real plans to go back into it at the moment. Bill Shankly said to me that you don’t retire, that gets taken care of when they’re nailing down the lid on your box! RH: As a proud Welshman how have you seen the World Cup qualification campaign on the back of that amazing summer in France?

You can draw four games and be unbeaten, but in terms of points you would be better off winning two and losing two and it meant they were peddling uphill for most of the campaign. They have been without key players for key games, like Gareth Bale and Joe Allen, and that makes life all the more difficult when you don’t have as deep a pool of players.

John Toshack laid many of the foundations of Wales’ current squad. If anyone can help us look to the future, he’s the man. Interview by Will Burton.

I wish them all the best going forward, not just as a Welshman but as someone who has known most of those players since they were kids. Brian Flynn found a lot of them and a lot of them made their senior debuts under us. There is no shame in maybe not quite being at the level they were in France, it is not easy to maintain performances like that and they can get back to those levels. RH: What do you think of Chris Coleman’s position? He had stated he would step down at the end of the campaign but has appeared to waver? JT: International management is very much about timing. When you go in you cannot buy players to improve your squad, it is not an option. You cannot sell anyone either, and there were some players I would have sold if I could have! You have what you have got. Chris and his staff have made the most of the talent at their disposal and what he and they have achieved, particularly at the Euros last summer, has been absolutely fantastic. I have known Chris since he was a kid, and I helped him to get some overseas experience with Real Sociedad when he was looking to try something different.

“Cardiff was where it all started for me as a youngster” www.redhandedmagazine.co.uk

REDHANDED 17

“Wales have had tremendous success under Chris. His stock is high” What happens at the end of a campaign is down to Chris and the Football Association of Wales, I know he had said he would step down because he wanted to go back to club management. You go a long time between games as an international manager and that can be very frustrating and he has done the job for a number of years now. Wales have had tremendous success under Chris. His stock is high and I am sure he would have offers but it will come down to what both sides want and whether they feel it is time for a change. If that is going to be the case they would be best to act quickly to give the next man in as much time as possible to prepare for the next tournament which will be Euro 2020. RH: A certain youngster at your old club made a big impression. What do you make of Ben Woodburn? JT: Liverpool used to produce a great number of firstteam players through their academy, that has not been the case so much in recent years but he is one of the current crop who look like they could make an impact. Ben Woodburn has a lot of talent, his is a name that has been mentioned around Liverpool for a few years now and we have started to see why in recent months. He has had his chance with Wales and has shown what he can do, he has had chances at Liverpool and he has done well when given the chance. I have not seen as much of him as some people will have as I spend a lot of my time

abroad now, but the next challenge for any young player is to make sure they get regular first-team football. He is a very young man, but he is in that picture now where he will be under consideration for his club and country and he will need to make that breakthrough. But he is an exciting player, there’s no question about that.” RH: You started your career with Cardiff City, have you been pleased to see them on the up under Neil Warnock? JT: It is great to see them doing well, they have an experienced manager in Neil Warnock who knows exactly what it takes to win promotion and it is nice to see them on the up after a difficult number of years. Cardiff was where it all started for me as a youngster, playing alongside wonderful players such as Brian Clark and it is a proud club with a proud history, just like Swansea. Getting back to the Premier League will be hard for them, but things look more positive right now. RH: Finally, your son Cameron is proving to be a chip off the old block at Swansea City. Under his guidance their under-23s won their league and cup last season, you must be proud of him? JT: I am pleased to see him and (co-coach) Gary Richards doing well. Gary played for me in his Swansea days, and they are a real good pair working together. I am not sure if he listens to me for advice now, I think it goes in one ear and out the other sometimes! I can see how the job is so different from how it used to be, the level of statistics they use and things like that. I can sit down and talk to him for 10 minutes about it but then I feel like I want to get up and leave because at the end of the day it is about scoring at least one more goal than the opposition. But I am very proud of him and the success he has achieved. It has not always been easy for him but he has had a real appetite and desire to improve and get better.

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WHAT I’M HERE FOR… Someone needs to show the kids how to rock and roll. Don’t worry. Liam is well up for it.

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REDHANDED 21

Someone did this on purpose, right? It’s a PR man’s ultimate fantasy. We all know the brothers aren’t on the best of terms. Mention Noel’s name and it’s like lighting the blue touch paper with Liam. Just read his twitter feed if you want to see. Yet somehow both Gallaghers are releasing new material at the same time. Sibling relationships are often complex but Liam and Noel took it to a new level in the messy bust-up backstage in Paris in 2009 when Oasis finally dried up. For Liam, it has been a while in the wilderness since. He carried on with the rest of the band as My Beady Eye but it all unwound pretty quickly. And then there was nothing. “There was no gig,” he says. “I felt like a shadow… I was lost. I’d think, ‘****, how am I going to get out of this one?’ “ He’s come back fighting. But it feels like the bruising from these experiences has given new direction. The aggression is tempered, surprisingly controlled (for Liam). As You Were is raw rock and roll, tightly produced. It’s glorious stuff. Against the backdrop of over-produced X-Factor pap and EDM that dominates the charts these days Liam’s new material feels real, visceral. Fans of Oasis will love it, new kids on the block will be surprised by its energy and candour. “That’s what I’m here for,” he says. “No one seems to be counteracting the bull**** any more... I hate them ******* that make dance records one year because it’s trendy and then as soon as they get a whiff of guitar music coming back they get the guitars out. You’ve got to be one or the other. If you’ve got a guitar, plug it in, turn it up and play it loud or **** off.

“I just want to get out and play some gigs, man, instead of all the drama” 22 REDHANDED

And that voice. It’s still as iconic. Sure Noel wrote the songs, but Oasis would have been nothing without Liam’s utterly unique vocals. As he said in the past: “I could sing Three Blind Mice and Baa Baa Black Sheep and it would still sound like Oasis.” Despite the drugs, the fags and the late nights, the voice hasn’t lost any of its range or its rage. How has he kept it that way? “I drink a lot of funky drinks,” he says. “I have this apple cider vinegar, the one that everyone bangs on about… Mam has it for arthritis and it’s really good for her. So I have vinegar, some honey and then I have some turmeric, some cayenne pepper, a squirt of lemon, hot water, stir it round and drink it. It’s really good for when you get a hoarse voice… you have this

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drink and it makes you a bit Jumping Jack Flash.” Back then Liam just did the singing. Officially it didn’t bother him that Noel was the songwriter. “I knew the score. That was Noel’s thing,” he says. “My thing was the whole cliché: the sex, the drugs, the rock and roll… And that’s why Oasis worked. We couldn’t have both been boring and neither could we have both been head cases like me.” So when it came to the solo album. Where to start without Noel to dish up the anthems? Can you believe it? Liam has a muse. “The music came,” he nods. “I started getting up at 3am and going to a little spot in our flat, picking up a guitar and tinkering away. It was my witching hour. And then I’d go back the next night. I’d never been interested in songwriting before.” Maybe it had been there all along? It was just smothered by the presence of his brother who had been writing songs for years before Oasis - whilst Liam pissed it up with his mates. “Maybe working with someone you don’t know at all is easier,” he muses. “It’s like when you have a problem, it’s sometimes easier to talk to a stranger than your best mate. Or a mother. Or a brother. You can let it all out.” So whilst it’s his name on the cover, this is not all his own work. And he’s totally cool with that. “I class myself as a rock and roll singer who writes the odd tune every now and again. And that is it. I’m not going out saying I’m Bob Dylan,” he says. Producer Dan Grech, who’s worked with Lana Del Rey, Keane and Tom Odell, was his main collaborator and it seems like the relationship was fruitful. “I’ll play him a tune very badly and he’ll go, ‘Yeah, I get where you’re coming from’ and get the acoustics down and away we go,” he says. Oddly Liam’s understated about the album. It’s a side of him that maybe we’re only seeing now he has aged a little more. “It’s all been done before, my record,” he says. “I’m not reinventing the wheel, I’m just giving it a new polish. Good songs, great vocals, good words… I hope people enjoy it, don’t scratch their heads too much. Jump up and down.”

“Good songs, great vocals, good words… I hope people enjoy it, don’t scratch their heads too much. Jump up and down.” Well, that almost sounds… apologetic? And there’s more that’s surprising. This hellraiser is an early riser these days. “I get up very early, man, five o’clock,” he says. “I go for a run at six, just to have a bit of discipline. No music, I just run. Chase the squirrels. I’m the kind of guy that, when I see geese, I go: ‘All right, geezers?’ and I think that’s hilarious. And they’re just looking at me going: ‘Like I haven’t heard that one before, you prick’.” So maybe Liam is a bit of a new man? It’s hard to say. He’s a complex character. As You Were feels very apt as the title. It’s enigmatic. It could mean lots of things. Perhaps it’s about going back to the basics - that guitar-driven rock and roll that Oasis did so well before the drugs and the infighting took too much of a hold. There are still flashes of the old, crazy Liam, but with the help of a few good people around him - in particular his girlfriend and manager Debbie Gwyther - he has tempered the fire, channelled his ire and produced something genuinely brilliant. Perhaps that’s because at heart he wants to be back out there, playing gigs. Ultimately there’s no buzz like it. “I want to go on tour,” he agrees. “If the record doesn’t go anywhere, playing gigs don’t happen and I just want to get out and play some gigs, man, instead of all the drama.” And in a final burst of surprising candour he continues: “People don’t realise that I’m a good singer and I actually dig music, I’m passionate about it, I want to get back out doing what I do.” Liam plays the Motorpoint Arena on December 13th December. As You Were is out now.

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24 REDHANDED Issue 3

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BRING ON THE

Warren Gatland returns to work with Wales this autumn tasked with recreating the southern hemisphere success he has enjoyed with the British & Irish Lions. The Kiwi has overseen a series victory in Australia and an unforgettable drawn rubber against the double world champion All Blacks. Regardless of Ireland’s Sean O’Brien’s surprisingly outspoken criticism of the coaching, it will go down as one of the finest achievements by a British rugby side. But Gatland has an awful record against New Zealand, South Africa and Australia when it comes to his day job with Wales. The overall tally stands at 35 games played, three won and 32 lost. It is a sequence that will come under the

microscope again next month with the big three all in action at the Principality Stadium, as well as everimproving Georgia. And beyond results, there will be additional key areas where Gatland has big decisions to make with the Lions in the rear view mirror and the 2019 World Cup looming into sight on the horizon.

ALTERING THE MIDFIELD MIX

While elements of the Lions’ game plan were familiar to those who have watched Gatland’s Wales sides, what was unexpected was just how effective the tourists’ attacking proved to be. All four tries the Lions scored in the Test series were results of an ambition and tempo Wales have been sorely lacking in recent seasons. The line-up for the second and third Tests saw

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Can Warren Gatland get performances out of Wales as good as those he achieved with the Lions down under this summer? RedHanded’s new sport expert Will Burton gets stuck in.

REDHANDED 25

“You’d imagine Alun Wyn will keep the job,” Williams says. “However, Gats may look at the World Cup in two years and give it to a fresh voice, which for me should be Jonathan Davies”. “He’s a very balanced individual. If you look at Jon throughout his career he’s been surrounded by rock stars like Jamie Roberts, Leigh Halfpenny and George North - guys who get all the plaudits - but he’s been the glue of that backline since the 2011 World Cup and he’s got a good rugby brain.” Faletau has started the season impressively with Bath, but at blindside flanker. The loss of Ross Moriarty and Ellis Jenkins, plus Dan Lydiate’s long-term injury woes, mean the number six shirt is up for grabs. Gatland opt against his preference for a big-strong ball-carrier at inside centre and instead use the double distribution option of Jonny Sexton and Owen Farrell. It worked a treat and it will be interesting to see if Gatland looks to make a similar move with Wales with Gloucester’s Owen Williams a potential option at 12.

SELECTION HEADACHE IN THE BACK THREE

“All four tries the Lions scored in the Test series were results of an ambition and tempo Wales have been sorely lacking” 26 REDHANDED

Back three selection will be a talking point. Assistant coach Rob Howley claimed last season that Liam Williams was not a natural full-back and was more attuned to the demands of playing on the wing. His performances in New Zealand should have put that questionable theory to bed, but it leaves the question of what to do with Leigh Halfpenny? Wales’ record try scorer Shane Williams has said of Halfpenny: “If Wales are serious about trying to add to their attacking game, then this guy needs to be wearing the No. 15 jersey. He provides an extra dimension in broken-field situations.” But it remains a tough call and when you add in George North’s struggles to recapture his best form, with Alex Cuthbert, fledgling Scarlet star Steff Evans and Keelan Giles also in the mix, you have a selection headache.

A CHANCE FOR TIPURIC

One area which looks more straightforward for Gatland and co., comes at openside flanker. Skipper Sam Warburton misses out with a neck injury and his perennial understudy Justin Tipuric should be the man to deputise. The Osprey was unfortunate not to see a minute of Test action in New Zealand after a run of strong showings for the midweek team, and he will be eager to seize the opportunity ahead of the Six Nations. Warburton’s absence is likely to see Alun Wyn Jones continue as Wales captain, although former Wales flanker Martyn Williams believes Lions star Jonathan Davies should be considered while the Cardiff Blues flanker recovers.

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WHAT ABOUT THE OPPOSITION?

The scale of the Lions’ achievement has been underlined by New Zealand’s imperious romp towards another Rugby Championship title. Australia, South Africa and Argentina have all suffered fearful hidings over recent months and this just goes to show how difficult it will be for Wales to overturn the All Blacks for the first time since 1953. Australia have shown signs of finding their feet again after a challenging spell since the last World Cup, but South Africa are in freefall. They have won just five of their last 11 Tests, three against France and two against Argentina, and Wales have won the last two meetings between the sides. Georgia, meanwhile are a new opponent for Wales as the two nations clash for the first time. The east Europeans have been a growing force in the game over the last decade. They have beaten the USA and Canada already in 2017, and pushed Argentina hard too, meaning there will be little room for complacency.

THE DATES

Saturday, November 11 - Wales v Australia KO 5:15pm Saturday, November 18 - Wales v Georgia KO 2:30pm Saturday, November 25 - Wales v New Zealand KO 5:15pm Saturday, December 2 - Wales v South Africa KO 2:30pm

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Festive feasting The dreaded C-word. You’re going to hear it a lot in the coming weeks whether you like it or not. It’s best to embrace it rather than shudder at the thought of its mentioning. Just as we’re putting out the coals on our beautiful Indian summer we’re turning our attention to Christmas. For some, it can be a logistical nightmare with oﬃce dos, family outings, beers with mates or an intimate evening with the other half. Fear not, our Christmas dining guide should see you well-prepared and suﬃciently sated through the festive season and beyond. Restaurant James Sommerin - The Esplanade, Penarth

A winning combination of stunning food and seafront scenery, Restaurant James Sommerin (RJS) is, in short, one of Wales’ best restaurants. The proof? RJS was recently named Restaurant of the Year by the AA and bagged a coveted Michelin Star. If you really want to impress your nearest and dearest, this is your destination. Call: 029 2070 6559 Website: www. jamessommerinrestaurant.co.uk Facebook: restaurantjamessommerin Twitter: @RestaurantJS

Pitch - Mill Lane, Cardiﬀ

Another Mill Lane favourite, Pitch is the destination for alfresco diners in the summer months. Fear not, there’s plenty of warmth inside this classy Cardiff eatery. Owner Ben Browne sources all his produce locally so expect some top beef and lamb cuts. However, the fresh mussels from Pembrokeshire are our personal favourite. Call: 029 2022 8882 Website: www.pitchcardiff.com Facebook: pitchcardiff3 Twitter: @pitchcardiff Oscars of Cowbridge - High Street, Cowbridge

Troy - City Road, Cardiﬀ In a survey by The Times, Troy Restaurant was ranked as one of the top five kebab restaurants in the UK. The meat is cooked over an open ‘Ocakbashi’ charcoal pit, not vertically rotating on a spike. Throw in some tasty meze dishes and aromatic breads and this is anything but a stop-off for the late night boozing brigade, it’s a real Turkish delight. Call: 029 20499 339 Website: www.troymezebar.com Facebook: Troy-Meze-Bar Twitter: @troymezebar

Stradey Hotel - Llanelli Set in a stunning position above the Gower Peninsula, the Stradey Park Hotel is the perfect location for a refreshing festive walk by the sea followed by a stunning dinner - or Sunday lunch - or, as their website promises, a gentlemen’s tea. The perfect escape from Christmas in the city. Call: 01554 758171 Website: www. stradeyparkhotel.com Twitter: @StradeyHotel

Arbennig - Romilly Crescent, Cardiﬀ

Located on the cusp of Pontcanna and Canton, Arbennig (Welsh for distinct or unique) certainly lives up to its billing. It’s a smorgasbord of the finest Welsh produce with Porthgain crab from Pembrokeshire and Pant-ysgawn goats milk cheese from Abergavenny. Keeping with the homely feel, bilingual staff are ready to take your order in either Welsh or English. Perffaith! Call: 029 2034 1264 Website: www.arbennig. co.uk Facebook: Arbennig.co.uk Twitter: @ ArbennigCardiff

Yakitori#1 - Mermaid Quay, Cardiﬀ

All those bloated calories can take their toll over the festive period. At Yakitori#1, you can go carte blanche on the menu without staring nervously at your waistline. Using only the freshest ingredients from sustainable sources, expect the best sushi, grilled meats, fish, rice and noodles that Cardiff has to offer. Call: 029 2049 5050 Website: www.yakitori1.co.uk/ Facebook: 1Yakitori | Twitter: @1Yakitori

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Festive feasting Etc.. Penarth - Stanwell Road, Penarth

A collaboration between designer Alex Mules and chef Stephen Gomes (yes, him of Moksh fame), Etc... Penarth is a great fusion of style and taste. Part cocktail bar and part restaurant, Etc... Penarth is all about providing a high-end gastronomic experience. We recommend going all out and trying the sensational five course Chef ’s Tasting Menu. Call: 029 2009 0060 Website: etc-penarth.com Twitter: @etc_penarth

Park House Restaurant - Cardiﬀ A taste of Paris in Cardiff, this fine dining bastion of French cuisine is the perfect place to truly impress and indulge. And it’s not just the food and award winning wine list that impresses – it’s an opulent, architectural treasure having been designed by William Burges and is now Grade 1 listed. Plus, it’s got two bars – Vanilla Rooms downstairs for cocktails and the Pinot Wine bar upstairs. Park Place, Cardiff CF10 3DQ. Tel 029 2022 4343 www.parkhouerestaurant.co.uk The Longhouse - St Nicholas, Cardiﬀ

Cardiff ’s newest gastro pub, The Longhouse is a stunning setting for Christmas food and drinks. This 17th century Longhouse (hence the name) is full of original features and offers superb views over Cardiff. As their Twitter handle exclaims, expect great food, great drink and great times. Call: 029 2115 7754 Website: www.longhousewales.com Facebook: longhousewales Twitter: @LonghouseWales

New York Diner – City Road, Cardiﬀ

A bite of the Big Apple in the ‘diff, NYD’s New Yrk loft-style space is home to some mighty fine Burgers, plus plenty more Americana - waffles, steaks, dogs and shakes. Piled high with 16ozs of burger and pulled chicken and all the trimmings, the Empire Stack is a mighty-fine feast for colder evenings when all you want is comfort food. Call: 029 2048 9790 Facebook: nydcardiff Twitter: @nydcardiff

The Beech Tree Inn - Culverhouse Cross

If the reputation of their Sunday lunch is anything to buy, festive visitors to the Beech Tree Inn are in for a real treat. Renowned for fish as much as roasts, Sundays at this converted 17th century barn run by Cardiff legend Anthony Armelin are usually booked out by regulars. But get in quick and you may be able to book a table. Old Port Road, Culverhouse Cross, Cardiff CF5 6AN. Tel. 029 2059 3106 www.thebeechtreeinn.org

The Kings Arms - Church Rd, Pentyrch, Cardiﬀ

Situated in the chocolate box village of Pentyrch, The Kings Arms is a picture postcard 17th century gastropub and restaurant that has been the focal point of the of the local community for most of its existence. New owners Owen and Helena took the helm in March 2017, giving this friendly public house a refurb along with a refresh of the menu. Call: 029 2089 0202 Web: kingsarmspentyrch.com Facebook: KingsArmsPubPentyrch Twitter: @kingsarmswales

Chez Francis – Glebe Street, Penarth and Cowbridge Road East, Canton

Now open in Penarth, Cardiff ’s best French restaurant, owned and run by Francis Dupuy, serves up classic, rustic French staples such as cassoulet and coq au vin as well as Petits Plats (French tapas) like chicken livers and ratatouille plus a lovely Sunday roast, all presented with a little ‘je ne sais quoi’. Call: 02920224959 Web: www.chez-francis.co.uk Facebook: chezfranciscardiff Twitter: @eatchezfrancis

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The Pelican In Her Piety - Ogmore

Sister venture to The Long House and also the brainchild of Andy Aston, you’ll get fine craft ales, wonderful top end pub food and a picture post card country pub vibe. And to cap it all, round your visit off with a bracing walk down to the nearby beach in Ogmore On Sea. Ogmore Road, Bridgend CF32 0GP. 01656 856464 www.pelicanogmore.com

Smarta Kitchens, Unit K7, Capital Business Park, Parkway, CardiďŹ&#x20AC; CF3 2PU Tel. 029 2000 6588 www.smartakitchens.co.uk

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FANCY A SLICE OF

PARADISE?

Was it something about the light that morning on the island of Vulcano? Or perhaps the kitten that came to rub itself around her ankles? Something made up Laura’s mind for her. She wanted to stay. It was too lovely to leave. But how to earn a living? The obvious solution: share her little chunk of paradise. Five years later, Laura now brings small groups of people to Vulcano, one of a sprinkling of volcanic isles off the coast of Sicily. They spend a week learning to cook the way her friends’ grandma cooks, pulling squid from the sea and cooking them on the boat, savouring the unique aromas that the volcanic soils give the wines. We reached Vulcano by hydrofoil, jetting across a shimmering sea from Sicily and Laura wasted no time getting us stirring, rolling and tasting. We were picked up straight off the boat and headed for Maria Tindara a local family-run restaurant. In the days when Maria herself did the cooking up here in the hills, there was no electricity and much of the produce came up the dirt track by donkey. Things have changed a little now and her daughter-in-law Rosi runs the kitchen with her son, Alberto.

Rosi came to work at the restaurant aged 13. Maria’s son Angelo took a shine to the new kitchen help. “I thought ‘she’s the one’ for me,” he says, his eyes twinkling under his big bushy eyebrows. Seven years later he married her. “I still work in the kitchen,” laughs Rosi “they just don’t pay me now.” Our first job is to roll pasta made using the machine Angelo bought her as a wedding present some 40 years ago. He certainly knew what he was doing. “The pasta is a little thicker than it used to be,” says Laura “but we like it that way!”

At least Jeremy Head helped to make some of the food before he stuffed his face on this foodie tour of Italy’s Aeolian islands

The trick to rolling macaroni? An old umbrella spoke! Cut a knuckle-length piece of dough, push the spoke down into it, join the sides back up… and roll. Rosi works at a cracking pace, making it look way too easy. I get it stuck to my board, my palms and my fingers. It’s a lot of fun, particularly when accompanied by a cheeky glass of vino.

“ It’s late, we are all starving and the food tastes spectacular” www.redhandedmagazine.co.uk

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“ By the end of it, I can’t really remember which wines I liked most” A large brown slithering squid flops over the side onto the deck almost landing on my foot. More follow, so fast we don’t have time to put them in a bucket. Billy gives me a line and tells me to get pulling. I haul faster and faster. It feels like it won’t ever end. Then splat, up comes my squid, in a spray of sea water. “Fresh squid, there’s nothing like it!” bellows Filippo. “Most days I go home after a night fishing and cook up 2 or 3 for breakfast before bed!” The squid is gutted then cooked fast and hot in a little oil, just coated in flour. We eat it with our hands, with big hunks of bread, a few bits of salad and a glass of local white. It’s late, we are all starving and the food tastes spectacular and the wine sharp and dry.

CRUCIAL INFO Getting there: easyJet flies twice weekly from Bristol to Catania Doing the tour: Sevennight’s all inclusive with five cooking lessons, squid fishing trip, wine tastings and much more costs £2165 per person with Aeolian Adventures (www. aeolianadventures. co.uk; 07704 136539)

Next Alberto takes us into the kitchen and cooks up a sauce of fresh sardine fillets, fennel and sweet tomatoes. Pudding is a lemon tart made with milk, crushed almonds and lemon. Just bung it all in, dissolve the sugar, add cornflour then chill. And the secondi plati is slithers of beef stuffed with a crumble of breadcrumbs, capers and cheese then deep-fried in olive oil. There’s something wonderful about eating food you’ve just cooked. (well, helped a little to cook, anyway) Accompanying it we drank great local wine too. Lunch lasted long into the afternoon. Fresh ingredients is the obvious secret to the fantastic flavours here. Without doubt the freshest came the following evening. Filippo has fished the large brown squid in these clear waters for 15 years. On a good night they might pull in 50 and make several hundred Euros. We sit up on the roof as we chug out of port, orange sunlight stretching a pool of light out towards us across the wave tops. One of the other fishermen sets up special lights to attract the squid. Blue flashing lights on top of stalks of aluminium with a circle or sharp hooks below are dropped hundreds of metres into the depths. We spy a school of dolphins off to one side. It’s idylic. But Filippo isn’t happy. “Cheeky dolphins” he mutters “they’ll steal the squid. We might have to see if they’ll deliver pizza out here!’ They haul up the first light from the inky depths 20 minutes later. Not a thing. Filippo started the evening jovial and funny. Suddenly he is serious, barking at us to keep the noise down. This isn’t a tourist trip. They need their catch. A second light comes up, empty. We watch in awkward silence. Are we going to miss out on our catch? And if we do what will we eat for dinner? They start to haul up the third. Hand over hand. It takes an age. Suddenly Filippo is full of energy. Woosh.

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The wine’s uniquely sharp bouquet is down to the islands’ volcanic soil which is perfect for growing grapes. There are small vineyards on several of them. We jumped aboard a boat and headed for Salinas a 20-minute ride away and strolled down a narrow lane skirting the sea to reach the Hauner family vineyard. Racks of local malvasia grapes are drying in the sunshine. “This increases the sugar content and makes them perfect for a sweet dessert wine,” says Andrea as he shows us the huge vats where wine is gently developing its flavours. His mother brings out freshly cooked frittata, dry salty cheese, figs and grapes, tomato marmalade and capers to complement the different wines we try. By the end of it, I can’t really remember which wines I liked most. On the way back to Vulcano, the boat stops for us in a shallow cove. The afternoon sun is warm and golden. I pull on my swimming shorts and stand teetering on the top of the roof looking down at the shimmering water. And then I plunge. Floating on my back, full of fine wine and food, I decide I’m rather glad Laura chose to share her slice of paradise. Wonder what’s for dinner?

No More Kitschy Kitchens question is: off the shelf or bespoke? Everyone’s had that moment when braving the jungles of Ikea and thought “what if I just lifted that entire kitchen and plonked it into my house?” There are plenty of interior specialists who have excellently crafted off the shelf kitchens, but with the right support, you can get something built just for you as Craig from Smarta Kitchens and Steve from Space Fitting Furniture explain.

Doing up your house always starts with optimism. You paint a room, knock in a few nails – maybe even put up a bit of wallpaper if you’re feeling daring. You feel the rush: you can now walk around B&Q confidently, giving the staff a nod of acknowledgement as you conquer the aisles by yourself. The only problem is, when you’ve done up the living room and sorted out the bedroom, how do you tackle the kitchen? When you’ve got to take into account the fittings and white goods, it becomes a bit more daunting than changing a doorknob. You can’t exactly shuffle around that built-in fridge freezer when it’s been fitted. It’s time to do some research. The biggest

Here is everything you need to consider before reaching out to an expert. There are no rules What do the experts have to say about the rules of kitchen design? We asked Steve Bloom of Space Fitting Furniture: “There aren’t any rules, it just has to work for the customer,” he told us. “There’s no ‘you should have dark floor to match dark worktops’ – it doesn’t matter, it just has to look good. When someone comes in and talks about rules I just say we haven’t got any. We deliberately have showrooms that flaunt every kitchen design law out there. We have one display where everything is white and it’s stunning; we have another where everything is dark – dark floor, dark tops, dark units – and again it looks fantastic. Everyone likes it and, what’s more, they’re shocked they like it. We break all the rules and just do things

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that work and look good. If you’re going to design a generic kitchen for 2.4 children in suburbia, then sure, read those articles with 10 rules for kitchen design and Mr Generic will love it, but who is that?” No offence to Mr Generic, but you don’t need a long list with checkboxes when hunting for your kitchen. Interior design most likely isn’t your job, so you shouldn’t be expected to know exactly what you want. That’s why you’re talking to an expert. The kitchen is one of the most important parts of the home; a personal place where you cook, eat and live. Why shouldn’t the process be just as personal? Steve divulges the design process for kitchens at Space Fitting Furniture and it’s not your ordinary conversation: “Here is our trick: we sit down, have coffee and cake and we have a long chat. If you tell someone to write down all the things they want in their kitchen, they’ll overthink and write a long list, but when you actually chat to a person they’ll have entirely different needs. We get it all the time; people come armed with a list and we challenge everything.” “If you immediately ask someone how they live, they say what they think you expect them to say, whereas during a conversation you get to know the real person and how they live. It’s about getting that brief, really getting to know someone to get the space to work for them. If you go into a chain showroom they can claim to listen to customers all they want but they don’t. They don’t have the time to take an hour to sit and chat to find out what and how people cook and who they entertain. “Everybody thinks they’re normal. No one

thinks they need to tell you how many times a month they entertain and which friends they have round, where they sit and what they drink. All these things that are part and parcel of their lives they wouldn’t think to tell you when asked; it’s only through chatting that you find out these aspects of their lives.” Personal conversation. That’s how you get a personal kitchen. A supplier like Space Fitting Furniture, with over 45 years of experience, has been around that long for a reason (while other suppliers have come and gone). As Steve says: “pay right, pay once”; their kitchen installations can still be seen going strong three decades after being put together. Craig at Smarta Kitchens believes it’s always worth the extra spend. “No one ever regretted buying quality! We have been lucky enough to find Beeck Kitchens in Germany a family run business passionate about quality and service, a mid to high level quality German product with unlimited possibilities. For the traditionalist the Laura Ashley Kitchens’ collection also expresses quality and design, as do brands such as Neff, Bosch and Siemens. All have similar values and using an independent designer means access to unlimited suppliers - we work with worktop suppliers in Italy to local stainless steel suppliers down the road to get a client a high quality product.” Speak to your chosen expert, get a true feel for what you want, and work together to make it happen. A great kitchen is a collaborative effort. More than a pretty face Designing a kitchen isn’t just about the look, it’s about the function. We’re not talking about gadgets that you’ll buy and use once, (looking at you, corn cob de-kernelers).

Beeck Unica, Smarta

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Beeck, Smarta

We’re looking at smart, integrated technologies that will make your life in the kitchen more efficient. Your kitchen could have a higher IQ than you. Smarta are the masters of home automation, so they know where clever kitchens are going next. Smarta Kitchens designer Craig Whitwell describes how automation is slowly but steadily making its way into our lives. When it comes to gadgetry, he says: “Most quality ovens have built in screens now with preloaded recipes and cook books to get the best results from your appliance. But that’s only basic. Imagine you’re cooking dinner but you need to pop out for five minutes. That five minutes turns into twenty five and your dinner is going to burn. With the right kitchen you can control your oven from wherever you are via an app on your phone.” “The same goes with your washing machine; you can turn it on at just the right time so that everything is freshly washed ready for drying when you get home. Fridge freezers are also starting to incorporate new automation tech. Soon you’ll be able to see what’s in your fridge whilst you’re out shopping, and there are plans to develop food scanning when putting away groceries, tracking what you have, best before dates and even reordering your favourites.” A kitchen that does the thinking for you? Yes please. You may be hands on with food, but you can be hands-free with your lighting. Back on the automation bandwagon, Smarta can rig up your lights and heating to really bring your kitchen into the future. Fully control your kitchen’s ambience with just your voice, commanding various lights to dim, switch on or off, and warm up the room ready for your arrival back home via remote app. (www.thinksmarta.co.uk)

Expert advice All of our advice boils down to one action for you to take: speak to an expert. If you’re not convinced by now, here are some sage words from Craig at Smarta: “Kitchen products and options are vast to say the least. If you’re looking to maximise what you can get for your budget, you need to speak to a specialist because you only have a fraction of the information of what is available. A good kitchen specialist will advise you in a way that no internet top tens can”. “A kitchen designer (not a kitchen salesman) will look at your room from a different point of view, looking at what is possible in the space and for the budget. Each customer’s kitchen is individual and specific to them. It’s a case of listening to the customer’s wants and needs, discussing everything and formulating a design brief that ticks as many of the important boxes as possible within the allocated budget”. Planning isn’t straightforward either, and there are lots of designs and ideas that require certain things taken into account in order for the project to work. It’s very easy to overlook those things through lack of knowledge. This will only prove to be a very expensive and time consuming mistake to make when it comes to the installation. “Any expensive investment with a budget needs to be given very careful thought and consulting someone with the knowledge you need can only be a good thing, ensuring you spend that money wisely.” Remember that while the kitchen is the heart of the house, it can also be the brains – you just need to talk to the right people to make sure your kitchen’s vital organs are fully functioning! www.spacefittingfurniture.co.uk www.smartakitchens.co.uk www.redhandedmagazine.co.uk

Bedale Cobbe Grey, Smarta

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GETAWAY TO THE GOWER

The Gower Golf Club is a great base for your group activity getaway Whether you’re up for: • walking the beautiful Gower Coastal Path • tackling the varied cycle routes • bracing the surf at Rhosilli or Caswell • or a challenging round of golf on a Donald Steel designed course What about linking your break with a rugby weekend or host your own party celebration? 2 night’s B&B with 2 course dinner is just £160*. We can even arrange your own private dining room with lounge area and log fire. (Subject to availability)

Call us for availability: 01792 872480 or visit our website Gower Golf Course, Cefn Goleu, Three Crosses, Swansea SA4 3HS • www.gowergolf.co.uk

*£10 supplement for a Saturday night. Minimum 6 people per group. Price based on 2 people per room. Offer available until 31 March 2018. Excludes the nights of Christmas Eve/Day and New Years Eve. Groups up to 22 catered for. Subject to availability.

EXCHANGING PLACES

FASHION

PHOTOS BY MEI LEWIS Sam Red Check Coat Officinae £589 White Poplin Shirt Officinae £299 Wool Trousers Officinae £349 Navy Wool Jumper Odami £329 Ebe Brown Leather Boot Fiorentini+Baker £359 All from Morgan Luke Beaumont Wool Top Coat Oliver Spencer £389 Bamako Striped Roll Neck Oliver Spencer £189 Warner Dock Scarf Oliver Spencer £70 Haydon Fishtail Trouser Oliver Spencer £189 Ennio Double Zip Boot in Elmo Fiorentini + Baker £340 All from Morgan Menswear

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FASHION Sam Black Tulle Skirt Rundholz £389 Supersoft Oversize Jumper Rundholz £699 Black Wool Shawl £125 Even Black Leather Boot Fiorentini+Baker Italy £340 All from Morgan Luke Suit Jacket Universal Works £215 Aston Flannel Pant Universal Works £125 Hope Wool Fleece Gilet Oliver Spencer £119 Eton Collar Flannel Shirt Oliver Spencer £105 Elmo Lace Up Boot Fiorentini + Baker £325 All from Morgan Menswear

Sam Bronze Tulle Skirt Officinae £359 Felted Wool Jumper Odami £269 Cashmere Wristies Rundholz £109 Wool Shawl Sula £159 Citrino Leather Boot Fiorentini+Baker £340 All from Morgan Luke Herringbone Overcoat La Paz £320 Wool Roll Neck La Paz £150 Jeans Jone Slim Fit Livid £149 Elmo Lace Up Boot Fiorentini + Baker £325 All from Morgan Menswear

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FASHION

Luke Navy T Shirt Eden Park £45.00 Hoodie Eden Park £95.00 From Oxford Hous

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FASHION

Luke Shirt Eden Park £89.00 Winter Topcoat Eden Park £295.00 From Oxford House e

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FASHION

Luke Top & inset Shirt Eden Park £79 Harrington Jacket Eden Park £119 From Oxford House Left Zip sweater Eden Park £95.00 Stripe shirt Eden Park £79 From Oxford House

Credits: Thanks to our models Sam and Luke Thanks to our location, The Exchange Hotel, Mount Stuart Sq, Cardiff CF10 5FQ www.exchangehotelcardiff.co.uk Menswear supplied by Morgan Menswear, 17 Morgan Arcade, Cardiff CF10 1AF. 029 2022 7877 www.morganmenswear.co.uk Oxford House, 43-47 Oxford St, Pontycymer, Bridgend CF32 8DD. 01656 870211 www.ohmenswear.com Womenswear supplied by Morgan, 20 Morgan Arcade, Cardiff CF10 1AF. 029 2034 4833 www.morgan-shops.co.uk

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BOYS ON TOUR! Singing Justin Bieber songs, dodging knickers chucked on stage, wardrobe malfunctions… it’s all just part of the job says Only Men Aloud’s Craig Yates

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Red Handed: So, you’re on tour again, in December. What can people expect? Only Men Aloud: We love performing at Christmas and we’re told by so many people that their Christmas can officially begin after they have been to our concert! We hope people will be feeling very Christmassy after the gig. RH: What material will you be performing? OMA: We have put together a great programme, which will hopefully include everyone’s favourite Christmas song. We have our very popular version of O Holy Night, a brand new arrangement of Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire, and a stunning acapella version of White Christmas. There are some big dance numbers and routines and some very popular songs from movies that might well be on at this time of the year. Hopefully, something for everyone! RH: You performed Justin Bieber songs in Welsh earlier this year – how did that happen and will it become a regular theme? OMA: We did. We were approached by Justin’s (we’re good friends now…) management, to see if we could record a couple of his songs that they could use to publicise his gig in Cardiff. They asked if one of them could be in Welsh. We recorded Sorry in English, and Love Yourself in Welsh. Both worked really well. It’s become a bit of a favourite thing of ours to take a well known pop song, and get it arranged for us, in a slowed down, acoustic way, with lots of harmony and we hope to do lots more of this in the future.

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RH: You must have a few stories from past tours though, can you tell us one or two? OMA: We laugh a lot - off stage, and on stage. We’ve had many costume malfunctions. One of us split his trousers open as he was doing a dance routine - he’s actually done this on a few occasions now. We’ve had forgotten shoes, one person had to borrow the coach driver’s shoes as he only had his trainers with him. One gig we were waiting at the back of the stage waiting to be called on, when our first track suddenly started in the auditorium. Apparently the man doing the sound had walked past the CD player, and his rather large belly had pressed the play button! We had to run on, and try to work out where we were in the track. Here’s hoping nothing goes wrong this Christmas Tour! RH: Are you tucked up in bed soon after the gig or do you like a bit of a party? Is it Horlicks or Harvey Wall Bangers in the dressing room? OMA: We’re quite boring really! We normally have a party after the last gig of the tour, but whilst we’re on it, we’re quite sensible. We always want to be at our best, and our concerts are quite hard work with lots of singing, so we are usually ready for our beds after a quiet drink or two. RH: Do you get on well on tour or do you find it gets a bit fractious being in each others’ pockets? OMA: We still get on really well with each other, and proper friendships have been formed over the years. We manage to kill time very effectively, usually coming up with a random game to play, or just

throwing a ball around, or kicking a football. There are enough different personalities in the group that if someone is getting a bit big for their boots, or if someone needs picking up a bit, then there is always someone there to do that. RH: How about adulation from your fans – does that ever get a bit out of hand, in a Tom Jones sort of way? OMA: We really enjoy it. We have a fan club called the OMAniacs, and they follow us around the world, wherever we go. We are so grateful for their support. We occasionally get the odd pair of knickers thrown on the stage, but to look out and see the audience loving what you are doing, is something special. We always love to try to meet the fans after every gig. We will always do a signing or will spend time at the stage door with them. Without them, we wouldn’t be doing what we are doing - so we are always very grateful and love to meet them. RH: It’s close to 10 years, since your breakthrough on Last Choir Standing. Is it as thrilling now as it was then? OMA: It really is still as thrilling. We’re all a bit older and hopefully a bit wiser, but we all still love the buzz

of performing live - there isn’t much better. We have had some incredible experiences along the way and hopefully there will be some more to come. There is not much better than being on stage, in front of our adoring fans, and singing with your friends. We still need to pinch ourselves occasionally! RH: What have the highlights been – performing at the opening ceremony of the 2012 Olympics must have been pretty special? OMA: The Olympics were certainly up there. We sang at the very moment that the cauldron or flame was lit in the stadium and we were watched and heard by around 900 million people on TV around the world. The view we had of the stadium at that time was incredible, and will live long with us all. Other highlights have been touring in the USA, some of the TV programmes we have made, including a trip to Mumbai in India earlier this year, and singing at many sporting events - The Ryder Cup, The Ashes, The Six Nations and The Champions League Final to name a few. RH: Would you like to appear on any TV shows like Strictly, Celebrity Bake Off or Celebrity Love Island? OMA: Between us all, I reckon we could go on them all! There are some good dancers, bakers and even a single member who I’m sure would love to go on Love Island! We sang on the Christmas episode of Strictly Come Dancing a few years ago and it was an amazing experience. We were singing I’ll be Home for Christmas, and suddenly the two professional dancers appeared and danced around the floor to our singing a very surreal experience!

“We occasionally get the odd pair of knickers thrown on the stage”

RH: Any other big plans for the coming year? OMA: Next year, we celebrate the 10th anniversary of us winning Last Choir Standing on BBC 1, and we are planning a UK wide tour and a new album to commemorate this occasion. We will be looking back through the last ten years, and performing some of our favourite songs and routines from over the years. Only Men Aloud play St David’s Hall on December 1st. www.stdavidshallcardiff.co.uk

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LIFESTYLE

WIN BEER!

Tiger Bay The Musical comes to life at the Wales Millennium Centre on 13th November – a flamboyant multi-ethnic community of Cardiff ’s Butetown in the early 1900s. Extreme poverty meets supreme wealth. Gangs of street children roam the docks. Coal is King, and in the notorious public houses and alleyways of the city’s underworld, a revolution is brewing. It follows a young woman’s determination to challenge society’s injustices, follow her heart and realise her dreams. To celebrate their biggest production to date, Wales

AB FAB LAB

If you don’t know already, and you really should, Lab 22 is Cardiff ’s original molecular mixology cocktail bar. Specialising in innovative and theatrical service as well as offering first class hospitality, they’ve been hard at work creating a spectacular, and uniquely different, menu created meticulously with taste, appearance, smell, theatrics and sometimes even sound in mind. Before we get to that though, there are a few things they also want to shout about. The menu is available in Welsh in support of #Cymraeg2050, a nice touch. And all lengths and alcoholic strength of their drinks are disclosed allowing for total transparency. That way you know how tipsy you’re likely to get and that you’re getting what you pay for - there are no smoke and mirrors here (apart from in the drinks!). The menu

Botany The ‘Botany’ is a meticulous study of flowers and fauna. A combination of Bombay Sapphire gin paired with juniper, cornflower, jasmine, rose and lavender, topped with Prosecco and served on a lavender scented dry ice mist.

Millennium Centre have been working in conjunction with Glamorgan Brewing Company to produce ‘Tiger Bay Welsh Pale Ale’. Brewed locally it embodies all that’s best about Wales: it’s easy going, approachable and will keep you coming back! These limited-edition bottles have beautifully designed labels featuring the Tiger Bay The Musical brand and graphics, so are a unique edition to any beer lover’s collection. To win a whole crate of Tiger Bay Welsh Pale Ale simply go to our facebook page @ Redhandedmagazine to enter!

also includes cocktail images drawn by local artists. They’re also doing their bit for the environment through their minimal waste project. Straws are biodegradable and they’ve put in place measures to reduce waste to landfill by 50%. At the heart of their ethos is philanthropy. Having restarted their monthly ‘Bartenders Specials’ where you can sample what their mixologists have been busy studying, £1 from every drink will be donated to a worthy cause. A hidden gem, Lab 22 combines the vibrancy of the city centre with the intrigue of the art of bartending. Here are some of the stand-out drinks from their new menu:

Champagne Sours One of their most decadent drinks consists of an Amaretto sours with an upgrade. It uses Grey Goose Pear Vodka, white chocolate and champagne syrup all garnished with a red chocolate dust. Ω Pronounced ‘Ohm’ this cocktail champions flavours of the far east including coconut, clove, tonka bean, Masala Chai and natural yogurt. So, there you have it. Great cocktails that you can enjoy knowing it’s all in a good cause. Fabulous. Lab22, 22 Caroline Street, Cardiff CF10 1FG. Tel. 029 2039 9997 www.lab22cardiff.com

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LIFESTYLE

ART INTERACTION FOR THE 21ST CENTURY How Scarlett Raven and Marc Marot are changing the way the world views art.

deeply personal process of creating her multi-layered, experiential art.

Following the sell-out success of her ground-breaking augmented-reality exhibition The Danger Tree last year, Scarlett Raven and Marc Marot’s poignant First World War commemoration will be on display at Castle Fine Art in Cardiff ’s Dewi Sant throughout November & December, with the pair making an appearance in the gallery on Saturday 2 December, 1-3pm.

Working exclusively with Blippar, world leaders in the field of augmented art reality, the viewer can use their smartphone app to unlock Scarlett’s poignant work, stripping away the countless layers of paint to reveal the creative journey beneath each painting.

Originally created to coincide with the 100-year anniversary of the end of The Battle of the Somme, the innovative project saw Scarlett and record executive Marc Marot join forces to create a series of haunting paintings which reveal the true heartbreak of war. The Danger Tree was inspired by the legendary First World War poets Wilfred Owen, Siegfried Sassoon and Rupert Brooke, and is a tribute to the Newfoundland Regiment who used a tree about halfway into “No Man’s Land” to gather. Regrettably, the tree was highly visible to two German machine gun nests, resulting in almost the entire regiment being wiped out within 20 minutes of the commencement of hostilities. So it became known amongst soldiers as The Danger Tree – a replica of the twisted tree now stands to mark the spot. Scarlett and Marc’s aim was to draw attention to the humanity behind the horror, their interpretation of this devastating and touching part of human history. Scarlett is amongst the first oil painters to work in the exciting world of augmented reality, which reveals the

The daughter of acclaimed saxophonist Raphael Ravenscroft, as a second-year student at Central St Martins in 2009, Scarlett became one of the youngest-ever painters to hold a solo exhibition at the prestigious Cork Street Gallery. A further successful show in 2010 was Paint at Hackneys Printhouse Gallery and in 2012, once again at Cork Street Gallery, she presented Flight. Her solo exhibition The Eleventh Hour at Castle Fine Art, Mayfair, in 2014 was in collaboration with The Royal British Legion, to commemorate the centenary of the First World War and emphasise the importance of remembrance and the enduring symbolism of the poppy. In conjunction with The Danger Tree, a striking series of signed limited-edition works is available from Castle Galleries. Presented as both giclées on paper and hand-embellished canvas editions, these pieces are beautifully framed to showcase the level of detail in the work. www.castlegalleries.com/thedangertree www.scarlettraven.com

Castle Fine Art, Grand Arcade St David’s | Dewi Sant Cardiff, CF10 2ER 02922 130 100 cardiff@castlefineart.com

To see how Blippar works, download the app for free, turn to the Castle Fine Art advertisement on page 9 and aim it at the thumbnail image of Scarlett’s work.

CHARLES DICKENS’S CHRISTMAS STORY THE CHIMES SHINES A LIGHT ON HOMELESSNESS IN NEW PIECE OF MUSIC THEATRE The Chimes is a new piece of music theatre which has been adapted from the second Christmas story by Charles Dickens, and will be staged, site-specifically, in the magnificent churches of St. John’s Church in Canton, Cardiff (7th - 16th December) and St. John’s, Waterloo, London (19th - 30th December). It has been written by David Willis and Conor Linehan and is produced and directed by Judith Roberts, in partnership with Chapter. The production is a dynamic collaboration between the team of music theatre makers and three of the country’s leading homeless charities - The Passage in London and The Wallich and The Huggard in Cardiff. Dickens wrote The Chimes during the recession of the ‘hungry forties’ when unemployment and starvation were rife and thousands were homeless. The Chimes strikes a blow for the poor; it is a feisty and stern story - a Christmas War Song rather than a Christmas Carol. On publication, it sold 20,000

copies in less than a month and sparked huge debate and controversy. Dickens’s biting satire was intended to effect real political change and this musical adaptation doesn’t pull its punches. It is a sharp, witty musical adaptation of Dickens’s tale for today’s audiences which will invite a group of men and women, who are supported by The Passage, The Wallich and The Huggard, to become members of an ensemble which joins a professional cast to create this dynamic new piece of music theatre. The Chimes will be on at St. John’s Church in Canton in Cardiff 7-16 December (exc. 10 Dec) and at St. John’s Church in Waterloo, London 19-30 December (exc. 24, 25, 26 December). For more information about The Chimes, follow the project on Facebook at www.facebook.com/TheChimesDickens

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LIFESTYLE

STYLE COUNCILLOR

Matt Hambly, Associate Style Editor at Men’s Health, imparts words of wisdom and chooses his must-have fashion items from retailers within the McArthur Glen Designer Outlet, Bridgend for A/W. 1. You’ve had a good look around McArthur Glen Bridgend, which retailers particularly impressed you and why? I really liked Levi’s and Moss Bros. Levi’s are great at creating that sense of brand in store – you walk through the door and you know you’re in Levi’s. More importantly, the product lives up to the décor. Their denim jackets and jeans are hard to beat and despite the world and his wife owning a pair, they’re still cool and credible. At the other end of the spectrum, Moss Bros have made sure that the suits they offer aren’t just drab, 9 to 5 styles. They have a really good selection of smart and interesting suits that will help you stand out but won’t leave you looking like you’ve tried too hard. 2. What are your top three trends for this A/W? Men’s clothing is becoming more adventurous but I don’t think that means we all need to dress outlandishly to look good. In fact, if you look at 3 of the winter’s biggest trends: checks, elevated streetwear and rich fabrics, it’s easy to see how they could fit into what you wear everyday. Starting with checks, try swapping a plain blazer for a checked one and wear it with jeans and boots. Elevated streetwear refers to something you might wear to the gym, a sweatshirt for instance, but dressed up. Try wearing a sweatshirt over a smart shirt, with chinos and trainers. Lastly, rich fabrics like velvet and cashmere are ideal for

winter. The easiest way to get in on that trend is to look for a velvet bomber or a cashmere sweater. 3. What Bridgend retailers would you recommend to put outfits together that reflect these trends and have you seen any particular bargains that have really caught your eye? As mentioned, Moss Bros and Levis’ are worth visiting, as are Tommy Hilfiger, Calvin Klein jeans and Lacoste – which has a great selection of polo shirts. In Moss Bros, there’s a particularly good brushed wool, check suit with a wide peak lapel. Sure, it’s a statement but one that will get you noticed. 4. Not all of us are slim model physiques, there are a lot of well-built rugby players in Wales for example – what tips do you have for different shapes and sizes? Yep, I hear you – working for Men’s Health, I’m well aware that the average guy isn’t built like a beanpole. I think the best piece of advice I can give is to dress for your shape, not to fit a trend. If you feel restricted, if your shirt buttons are pulling or it hurts to sit down, your clothes are too tight. People have confused ‘tight’ with ‘well fitting’. In fact, clothes that allow you to move properly are the best fitting and most flattering. Keep that in mind and you won’t go far wrong, whatever your size or shape.

Levi_s shirt mens AW17 RRP £70 Outlet £48 Matt earned a degree in fashion journalism from The UCCA before embarking on a career in magazines. He has held positions at FHM (deputy style editor) ASOS (Menswear Editor) Esquire Weekly (deputy editor) and now works as the associate style editor for Britain’s biggest selling men’s magazine, Men’s Health. He’s interviewed everyone from John Galliano to Tim Westwood, moonlights as a drummer, brand consultant and occasional lecturer in Fashion Journalism at the UCCA. McArthurGlen Designer Outlet Bridgend, The Derwen, Bridgend CF32 9SU

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Calvin Klein scarf RRP £45 Outlet £32

Moss Bros Slim Fit Navy Paisley Velvet Jacket RRP £129 Outlet £99

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Reiss Sartorial Shapes Blazer RRP £265 Outlet £175

WYN WYN

LIFESTYLE

www.loteri.cymru, set up an account (a very straightforward, one time only, process) and then choose whether to buy tickets on an ad hoc basis or via a subscription (by Direct Debit or debit card). To play the main loto game, you pick 5 numbers from 39, or get a random selection by choosing the Fast Play option. It’s that simple. Prizes are won for matching 2, 3, 4 and 5 numbers out of 39 and the overall odds of winning a prize are 1:9 – and the odds for matching 5 numbers and winning the top prize of £25,000 are fantastic at about 1: 575,000, compared to the National Lottery lotto at over 1 in 45 million!

We’re all double winners with the Loteri Cymru. With a better chance of winning a cash prize compared to some other lotteries and all the money raised staying in Wales, it truly is a Wyn Wyn for Wales. Launched in April, Loteri Cymru is the first all-Wales lottery with all funds raised going exclusively to good causes in Wales. To date over £200,000 has been won in prizes (will be more by the print date), and 13 local charities have benefitted from the first round of grants from Hanfod Cymru, an independent charity set up to distribute the funds.

Plus, the prizes are not shared – if you match the numbers, you get the full amount. £25,000 for 5, £250 for 4, £10 for 3 and a free entry for the following week for matching just 2 numbers. In addition, every loto line played qualifies for the monthly loto+ free prize draw, where 10 x £1,000 prizes are up for grabs – so that’s 2 chances to win every time you play (excludes any £25,000 jackpot winning lines). With over £200,000 in prizes to date, 1 jackpot winner so far, 85 £1,000 winners and even 1 winner lucky enough to win 2 prizes of £1,000, there’s a real chance that when you sit down to watch the weekly draw every Friday at 8pm on S4C (ticket sales close at 7pm) you’ll be a winner too.

And it’s so easy to play. Simply go online at But it won’t just be lucky punters winning. At least 20% of money raised by Loteri Cymru will be distributed by a new, independent charity – Hanfod Cymru - to specifically support good causes, the length and breadth of Wales with an initial emphasis on general social needs, on the arts and creativity and on educational projects. Thirteen charities have received grants in the first Small Grants programme:

Natalie Rowley, 26, from Canton, (pictured) who won one of 10 coveted loto+ £1,000 monthly giveaways said: “I’ve been playing loto with Loteri Cymru since the first draw and have won a few free plays but when I received the email saying I was a cash winner I was so excited. My partner and I have recently moved into a house so we’ve got quite a bit of extra space which we need to fill! We’ll also be using my winnings to help pay for a trip to Italy next summer.” “I’m going to carry on playing loto as the odds are really strong and it’s nice to know you’re helping local charities. With Loteri Cymru, you can see the tangible difference your money makes to these good Welsh causes.” Wales’ first ever Loteri Cymru jackpot winner, a young couple who are now £25,000 richer after they matched five numbers in the Loto draw on Friday 25th August said: “We’re still in shock. We liked the fact that in doing so we were helping Welsh causes and we knew it was not-for-profit. “As we have a young family, it’s really set us up but to know we’ve changed our lives and helped Welsh causes in the process – that’s really significant for us.”

Abe Sampson, Techniquest said: “This grant will make an enormous difference to our work with schools in disadvantaged areas. Being able to offer our programme to encourage pupils in the spheres of science, technology, engineering and maths without a cost to the school or the pupils, is very important.” Lowri Jones, Menter Iaith Caerffili said: “We were very glad to have received this grant for a new project to coordinate volunteering opportunities in Welsh across the county. This will provide another new opportunity for individuals to be able to speak Welsh in the county, a need that has been obvious for some time.” Kate Gibbs, Swansea Community Farm said: “The grant we received from Hanfod Cymru towards refocusing and expanding the Community Farm’s activities will make a huge difference to the local community. Increasing the use of the farm will both fulfill a local need and provide a new source of income for the Community Farm which is run by volunteers.”

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To find out more about Hanfod Cymru visit www.hanfodcymru.wales

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LIFESTYLE

BEAUTY MUST-HAVES FOR THIS AW17

A new, colder season is upon us so it’s time to take stock and invest in some key beauty pieces to transform your cosmetics bag and keep your skin glowing. Thankfully, St David’s Cardiff has had an amazing array of brands open this year. Kat Von D, ‘Everlasting’ Liquid Lipstick, Too Faced, Sweet Peach Eye Shadow £17 Collection, £39 This super slick lipstick comes in a wide You’re guaranteed to find this flawless variety of different hues, so you’re certain to palette in any beauty addicts’ repertoire. find the perfect colour to suit whatever your The colours range from a fresh cream, aptly complexion! The creamy formula ensures titled White Peach, to a sultry deep, glittery that applying is easy. It then dries to a classy plum, Talk Derby to Me. As the name matte finish, keeping your look bang on suggests, the palette includes divine peachy trend for AW17. pinks, corals and bronzes too. Too Faced, Better Than Sex Mascara, £19 Too faced conducted a consumer study and Buxom, Customisable Eyeshadow Bar, £36 a whopping eight out of 10 said that it was This customisable palette is an absolute the best they’d EVER used. Too Faced has dream, allowing you to unleash your inner done it again and produced a product that artist. If you’re a beginner you can choose actually lasts! from an expertly pre-curated palette so you Benefit, Ka – BROW Eyebrow Cream-Gel can have the perfect complementary shades. Colour, £20 If you’re more daring, you mix and match Comes in a retro holder that’ll look super your six favourite shades to create a custom cute on your dressing table, it’s the perfect palette. product to create to-die-for brows that are so on trend right now. It comes in six Charlotte Tilbury, Filmstar Bronze and different colours – what’s not to love?! Glow, £49 A beauty must-haves list wouldn’t be Bobbi Brown, Mini Mask Trio, £12.50 complete without a product from the queen Whether you need a radiance boost, a skin of cult beauty, Charlotte Tilbury. This detox, or a serious moisture, these handy bronze bar already has millions of loyal tubes have got you covered. The perfect size fans across the globe, so with all those rave to take on your travels or to keep in your reviews what are you waiting for? bag for a skin emergency.

AW17 FASHION

WOMENSWEAR

MENSWEAR

1 – RED If there’s one hue that screams AW17 it’s red. Autumn’s hottest colour gets a boost this season. Opt for a fiery piece, like this River Island jacket, for a confident, modern look.

1 – SHARP SUITING Get yourself some decent tailoring. Play with texture and fabric to keep your suitgame fresh. This chequered number from River Island will make for an effortlessly cool, modern look.

2 –TEXTURE As the weather starts to get cooler, investing in outerwear is a must. We love this faux fur multi-coloured jacket from Primark which is sure to make a statement.

2 – COOL KNITS Autumn wouldn’t be the same without a staple knit. This finely knitted colour block sweater from John Lewis is slim-fitted but will still keep you warm during the colder months.

3 – SHEER Sheer fabrics are a favourite as you can layer without looking too bulky. Pair this New Look maxi dress with a long sleeved t-shirt dress and you’re good to go.

3 – LOOSE FIT TROUSERS Wider leg trousers have been coming back in over the past few seasons. Pair these Ted Baker at John Lewis loose fit chinos with a slouchy unstructured knit to round off the look.

4 – BLOCK HEEL This new boot trend looks good with everything from smart straight-leg trousers and shift dresses to casual jeans. 5 – BOLD ACCESORIES The best way to accessorize this season is by pairing practicality with style. Opt for this backpack from Whistles, with its bang on trend leopard print design.

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It’s time to wrap up warm and brave yourself for the winter winds, but there’s no reason you can’t look chic and keep cosy! We’ve teamed up with the St David’s style team to pick out the perfect pieces to keep you bang on trend this season.

4 – QUILTING The practical outerwear, like this puffer from Primark, offers a contemporary silhouette that is as comfortable as it is stylish. 5 – CHELSEA BOOT A pair of boots is an autumn wardrobe essential. This brown suede pair from John Lewis are a good bet. Team with straight legged denim jeans for a stylish look.

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Raymond Gubbay presents

New for 2017 Sprinkled with magical special effects

The Nutcracker Swan Lake Cinderella Performed by

The Russian State Ballet of Siberia

Accompanied by

The Orchestra of the Russian State Ballet

THREE MAGICAL BALLETS ONE EXCITING SEASON

19 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 31 December

029 2087 8444

www.stdavidshallcardiff.co.uk

LIFESTYLE

THE VIEW FROM THE TOP

Situated a short walk from the town centre, Penarth Heights is a mix of stunning 3 and 4 bedroom houses all with breathtaking views over Cardiff Bay. This development of new homes in Penarth offers luxury living in striking art deco inspired properties. Whether you’re looking to move up the property ladder or looking to downsize without compromising on style and space, Crest Nicholson can help you find the perfect home. Like all their properties, these new homes in Penarth are built to the highest specification, to ensure that your new home is designed to create the perfect environment for modern living. With a location that offers idyllic and uninterrupted views across Cardiff Bay and within close proximity to local amenities, leisure facilities and an array of excellent schools, Penarth Heights has something to offer everyone. Now in its final phase, the last remaining homes in this unique, contemporary development are available using Crest Nicholson’s VIP Part Exchange scheme. With VIP Part Exchange buyers will receive regular updates and professional guidance every step of the way, and Crest Nicholson will even cover the cost of removals and estate agents fees.

Foremost amongst them is the Panache. This is a unique art deco style three/four bedroom home complete with garage and parking. The ground floor has a kitchen/dining/family room that is a must see, with elegant curves giving a feel of space and light. The first floor is home to a stunning master bedroom with dressing area leading to the en-suite, a guest room with en-suite, plus the third double bedroom. The second floor boasts a breath-taking lounge occupying half of the floor space with multiple picture windows to bathe this impressive room in light. The bathroom with separate shower is also on this level, plus an optional fourth double bedroom. From this level walk up the stairs to the roof terrace with exquisite panoramic views of Cardiff Bay and beyond. The perfect space to relax on warm summer evenings or entertain family and friends. www.crestnicholson.com/developments/penarthheights. The Horizon, Trem Elai, Penarth CF64 1TE Tel:029 2071 1357

TIRED OF TURKEY?

Gather your loved ones for a new culinary experience this Christmas at Yakitori#1, Mermaid Quay Fed up of seeing ‘turkey and all the trimmings’ everywhere this festive period? Christmas is the time for family, friends and good food, but there’s only so much cranberry and stuffing a person can handle. So why not opt for trying food from a different culture this Christmas?

Did you know that Japan goes cluckers for KFC at Christmas time? In fact, every Christmas an estimated 3.6 million Japanese families indulge in the now nation-wide tradition of Kentucky Fried Chicken for Christmas. While we all love a bargain bucket, instead of heading down to your local KFC why not sample some authentic Japanese food this festive period. Yakitori#1 in Cardiff Bay is the perfect spot for a work Christmas party, family meal or couples’ date night. The team at Yakitori#1 have curated a Japanese Christmas menu (that admittedly does include some fried chicken) and a vegetarian festive menu, served with a glass of prosecco - perfect for celebrating the festive season.

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The set menu costs just £25 and features Tempura Prawn, Chicken Karaage and Mochi Ice Cream, and vegetarian alternatives Tempura Vegetables and Tofu Karaage. Crafted with the freshest ingredients, the Christmas menu is a great introduction to Japanese cuisine. Of course, there is a more extensive menu available (https://www.yakitoricardiff.co.uk/menus) featuring favourites such as Katsu curry, Ramen and a variety of hand-rolled sushi. Yakitori#1 is passionate about serving modern Japanese cuisine and promises more than just sushi! If you’re looking to taste Japanese food and celebrate Christmas with friends without crackers and mince pie overload, then head to Yakitori#1 located in Cardiff Bay’s Mermaid Quay. Book online via their website: yakitoricardiff.co.uk.

A TOUCH OF PARIS IN THE VALLEYS Oxford House Menswear has been supplying quality men’s clothing in sizes Small to 6XL from their store in Pontycymmer, near Bridgend for nearly 45 years. With a large and loyal customer base, the focus is all about high levels of customer service, exceptional value for money and an all-round great shopping experience. Their recently updated website offers shopping at your finger tips when it’s most convenient to you from brands such as Eden Park, Canterbury, Farah, Skopes, Rael Brook and many more. Without doubt, the big success story is Eden Park – from small beginnings they’ve grown into one of the UK’s major suppliers of the rugby inspired fashion house. Eden Park Designer Menswear is the brain child of former France Rugby International Frank Mesnel. As you would expect he’s a dapper dresser, showing the same panache as he did playing for his country. Founded in 1987, Eden Park’s named after the stadium in New Zealand where, that year, France lost the first rugby union World Cup final. The pink bowtie logo harks back to Mesnel’s days in the backline at Racing Club de Paris, known as “Le Showbizz” for their high-profile stunts – drinking champagne at half-time, taking to the field in fancy dress, wearing pink bow-ties for big matches.

DOWN TO A TEE

Love golf but don’t have the time to play a full round? Fancy playing for the first time? Maybe you just want to improve your game? Whatever the reason, Tee It Up is the perfect place to enjoy playing golf without worrying about the weather or cutting up the course! The brainchild of experienced coach and PGA pro Rob Johnson and equipped with three state-of-theart golf simulators, Tee It Up is the first Indoor golf centre of its kind in Wales. You stand 10ft from a large, 4k screen that simulates the view down the fairway. Then, using a normal club and ball, a hi-tech camera captures your stroke in the minutest detail, as you play your stroke. A computer calculates the path of the ball using inputs from the camera and meticulously constructed parameters and modelling. The technology is key. Developed by Foresight Sports Technology, it’s the most accurate there is. The high-speed camera takes xxx frames per second and delivers unmatched accuracy and true to life performance. It’s great for learners. The technology produces amazingly accurate club head data and, consequently, precise analysis of technique – all in an informal setting where you can learn at your own pace and don’t have to worry about holding up a group behind

LIFESTYLE

Initially the idea was to use the bow-tie logo to brand champagne, but on his rugby travels, he had seen many people wearing rugby jerseys for leisure purposes, something fairly unknown in France. So, knowing all about rugby jerseys, he and his colleagues realised they had hit upon what they wanted to do with their new bow-tied fame. Now, having supplied clothing to the French national team, the ERFU, the WRU and the British Lions among many others Eden Park has expanded into other parts of the globe and into other leisure clothing and accessories areas. At their South Wales based store, Oxford House is one of only a handful of Official Eden Park Stockists in the whole of Wales. With a comprehensive range of Men’s Eden Park products including Smart Casual Shirts, Polo Shirts, Knitwear, Jerseys and Jackets all available in store or on line in sizes Medium to 5XL, it’s the place to go for this great label. Oxford House Menswear, 43-47 Oxford St, Pontycymer, Bridgend CF32 8DD. 01656 870211 www.ohmenswear.com

you. Inevitably, the result is fast improvement in technique – you can hit rapid fire shots and Rob can tell you exactly what you need to improve. Or you can just play. It’s also great for experienced players. You can play anyone of 45 classic courses around the world in any weather conditions – if you want to play Carnoustie in a gale, no problem! You can also play real-time in ‘live’ events, pitching yourself against the best in the world. The level of analysis means you can still improve your game no matter how experienced you are. With a café, licensed bar, food, even four F1 simulators, it’s, above all, fun. There’s a great atmosphere in which to have a laugh and a drink with your mates. It’s also great for parties, work and team building. How about a free lesson for beginners (weekdays 9-12), or a Christmas party for £35 a head (all you can drink and golf for 2 hours)? And, of course, vouchers for birthdays and Christmas – perfect! Unit 1, Sovereign Quay, Havannah Street, Cardiff Bay CF10 5SF 02920 489 768 www.teeitupgolf.co.uk

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LIFESTYLE

ALL HEART Cripes. The team at Welsh Hearts have been burning the midnight oil arranging a swathe of events to raise money for the cause over the coming months. No surprise that they’re so highly motivated given the benefits across Wales for anyone who, or may at some point in the future, suffer from a life-threatening heart ailment. Funds will go towards paying for defibs, training, screening and support for a myriad heart conditions across Wales. Events planned include Flamenco Night, 11th Nov at Llandaff Institute, Cardiff; Ladies Christmas Shopping and Pamper Evening, Llanishen Golf Club, Cardiff 23rd Nov; Rhondda’s Christmas Market Rhondda Sports Centre, Ystrad Rhondda, 25th Nov; Aberystwyth Festive Lunch, Llety Parc Hotel, Aberystwyth; The Ten Tenors at Christmas, Llandaff

Cathedral, Cardiff, 1st Dec; Cardiff Santa and Elf Dash 2017, Roald Dahl Plass, Cardiff, 3rd Dec; Light up a Heart Christmas Carol Concert, St. Catherine’s Church, Pontypridd, 8th Dec; Rhondda Festive Fun Run, Gelligaled Park, Rhondda, 10th Dec; Christmas on Broadway, Cardiff City Hall, Cardiff, 15th Dec. It’s difficult to pick a stand out event but for sheer fun and by virtue of being Welsh Hearts’ single biggest event our vote goes to the Santa and Elf Dash in Cardiff Bay on 3rd December. Hundreds, if not thousands, of people from all walks of life, having a tremendous amount of fun on a fund-raising run dressed as Santa or his little helper and with one purpose in mind - saving Welsh lives. If you want to register or would like more info on any of Welsh Hearts’ activities go to www.welshhearts.org

LLANELLI’S HIDDEN GEM DON’T GIVE SOCKS! Stradey Park Hotel & Spa is a converted Edwardian mansion, the charm of this era has been maintained whilst enjoying a modern twist. Nestled into the hillside with views stretching out to the World famous Gower Peninsula, an area of outstanding natural beauty and views of the unspoilt Cefn Sidan beach means that Stradey Park Hotel & Spa is ideally located to highlight the natural beauty of Wales. We take pride in our first class service, and all rooms have complimentary WiFi, tea/coffee making facilities, hairdryers, telephones and flat screen televisions. Stradey Park Hotel & Spa is a TripAdvisor certificate of excellence holder, awarded to hotels that consistently achieve a high standard of reviews. Gift vouchers are available for all areas of the hotel including the Samphires restaurant, Parc Spa, Afternoon Tea’s and accommodation. Book direct through our website and receive the best room rates – www.stradeyparkhotel.com

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Are you struggling to think of a truly memorable gift this Christmas? Then don’t give socks, give the gift of adventure! Cardiff International White Water offers a range of vouchers that will provide family and friends with a unique, unforgettable experience. Adrenaline-fuelled activities, including White Water Rafting, Indoor Wave and Air Trail are available at the on-demand white water facility, which is located in the heart of the International Sports Village, close to the city centre. The gift vouchers start from just £10 and are valid for 12 months (age restrictions and terms and conditions apply). Buy yours now at www.ciww.com/giftvouchers, from the centre’s reception or by calling 029 2082 9970.

AFFORDABLE MASERATI LOVE AFFAIR

LIFESTYLE

Maserati. Sounds magnificent doesn’t it? And what a pedigree. Maserati is one of the most evocative car makers in the world and the current range includes awesome Ghibli. With engine options that include an awesome twin-turbo charged 3.0 V6, beautiful styling and thoroughbred handling it’s the type of sports car that would stir even the most cold-hearted driver’s soul. You may think it’s out of reach though. But you’d be wrong. Motorline Maserati Cardiff and Maidstone have some very special offers on the fantastic Maserati Ghibli. You can now drive a Maserati Ghibli on Personal Contract Hire with an initial rental of just £4,317 and monthly rental payments of only £392 on a twoyear agreement. Not only do you get one of the best looking, most iconic & exclusive brands you will also receive a complimentary set of 20” wheels to make your new Ghibli even more exciting. This is a very limited offer on cars from limited stock so please contact Motorline Maserati as soon as possible to arrange a test drive and a personalised quotation. Motorline Maserati Cardiff, 291 Penarth Road Cardiff South Glamorgan CF11 8TT. Tel 029 2066 6472 www.motorline.co.uk/maserati

GROOMING GIFTS

The team at Groom For Men have spotted a trend amongst their customers in recent years. More and more people are spending serious time and effort trying to find a truly special gift for their brothers, fathers, sons and partners. We all know men aren’t easy to buy for, so this is not a simple task. To make life a whole lot easier for those looking for a unique present, whether it’s Christmas, Fathers’ Day or a birthday, Groom For Men can solve this head ache for you. And in a way that’ll put a huge smile on the face of the recipient. From a voucher for a hot towel shave, up to a unique, bespoke gift package, Groom For Men, in Canton and Penarth, have a comprehensive range of products and treatments designed specifically for men who want to look, smell and feel great. While most customers’ first experience of Groom For Men will probably be a haircut, it’s the range and quality of the treatments that has ensured a loyal and growing following. A voucher can be had for any of these treatments including: Haircut & Hot Towel Shave, Haircut & Colour, Haircut & Eyebrow Wax, Haircut & Styling Product, Swedish Massage, Body Waxing, Spray Tanning, Manicures & Pedicures, Skin Hydrating.

A great gift, and one you might not think of for man, is a manicure. It’s remarkable how many compliments well-groomed nails get and it’s the perfect gift someone who works outdoors, does weights or whose hands take a battering. The Cardiff Salon, has a spa area (including showers, a hot-tub and sauna). It’s a great way to relax or get in the mood for a night out, especially for sportsmen and young professionals who want a deep clean and refresh before hitting the tiles. You can even try it free the first time – just ask one of the team. If the man in your life spends a lot of time lifting weights in the gym, working outdoors in the cold weather, or if his hands take a battering at work, our manicures will make the perfect gift for him (and you). If you’re short on ideas, get in touch – whatever your budget and state of the man in question, Groom For Men will save the day. Check out our website: www.groomformen.co.uk, call us on 02921 320204 or follow us on Facebook for more info. If you’re looking for something bespoke, e-mail or call us in detail.

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56 REDHANDED Issue 3

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SPORT

Russian Roulette

For Wales football fans the experience of World Cup qualification woe is not new, but defeat to the Republic of Ireland should not be seen as heralding the beginning of the end for this crop of players. Given the Dragons had lost just one of their 21 previous qualification fixtures, and were unbeaten on home turf in a competitive game in four years, the manner of the crushing reverse to Martin O’Neill’s side was an unexpected and a devastating blow. The future of manager Chris Coleman remains up in the air at the time of writing but, whoever is in charge moving forward, there remain considerable raw materials available. The likes of Gareth Bale, Joe Allen and Aaron Ramsey have at least another couple of campaigns in their legs, while the developing talents of Ben Woodburn, Nathan Broadhead and Ethan Ampadu will all soon come of age. The landscape has moved for Welsh football on the back of that magical summer in France, one setback should not mean a meek acceptance of going back to how it used to be. They were agonisingly close to another major finals, no-one should be betting against them getting to Euro 2020.

Warnock shows his mastery

For far too long Cardiff City have been something of a laughing stock for football fans. Since their promotion to the Premier League in 2013 it has been one nightmare after another as the likes of Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, Russell Slade and Paul Trollope struggled to turn around a club trying to cut its cloth yet still adamant that a promotion charge was an acceptable target in a fiercely competitive division. It should come as no surprise that it has needed a man of Neil Warnock’s nous and savvy to turn things around. The Yorkshireman is a strong enough character to hold his own with those in the boardroom and is an astute builder of a squad, the unheralded success of summer signing Nathaniel Mendez-Laing is proof of that. Tactically he will never ask players to do anything they are uncomfortable with and it reaps its rewards. With a sure touch and tight focus he has Cardiff back on the right track and - with the momentum provided by an excellent start - he has a foundation to make them genuine promotion contenders.

Bony’s a hungry boy

“This is what I want,” said Bony. “I know it will take me a little bit of time as I need to get fit and play some games, but I worked really hard over the summer to be in good physical shape. I worked hard in training with Manchester City and I did extra work with my personal trainer so I hope it will not take long. “I want to do well for Swansea, my heart is here and I want to show my best for the fans and this team.”

Worrying signs for the PRO14

You’ll never catch our new sports guru Will Burton in an off-side position

The Guinness PRO14 is only a matter of weeks old but there are worrying signs the new dalliance with South African sides is doomed to failures. The Cheetahs and the Kings have conceded points at an alarming rate - often falling away alarmingly in the second half of games - and the embarrassingly sparse crowd that watched the Kings take on Leinster in Port Elizabeth suggests the South African rugby public are not too enamoured of the new product. Chief executive Martin Anayi recently suggested this was just the start of an expansion programme that will see an American side join. He might be wise to hold back on the bold declarations and take one step at a time. There is considerable work to be done if he wants this season’s alterations to the championship to be considered a success. Not that the Welsh sides have had a great time of it either, with only the Scarlets showing any sort of form during the early going.

Big-time boxing is back!

Well what a fight that was! Carlos Takam made him work hard for it, but Anthony Joshua successfully defended his IBF and WBA world heavyweight titles in the ring at the Principality Stadium in front of a sell-out crowd. It represented a major boon for fight fans in Wales; not since the days of Joe Calzaghe had the national stadium hosted a major championship bout of this stature and the rapid ticket sales - some 70,000 were scooped up in the opening morning of availability should hopefully convince promoters of the Welsh capital’s status as a contender when it comes to the sport’s showpiece occasions. It was not so long ago that Lennox Lewis and Frank Bruno faced off at the old Arms Park, as did Steve Robinson and Naseem Hamed. It would be great to see such occasions played out again on the same site with more regularity.

While the signing of Renato Sanches stole the headlines, the return of a certain Wilfried Bony to Swansea City offers a narrative every bit as intriguing. The Ivory Coast striker played the best football of his career with the Welsh club, but has spent much of the last two seasons looking on from the sidelines at Manchester City and Stoke.

“They were agonisingly close to another major finals, no-one should be betting against them getting to Euro 2020.”

There is no guarantee he can repeat the highs of his first stint at the Liberty Stadium, but no-one should be doubting the hunger of a man who spent the summer doing gruelling additional training sessions on his own in order to be in the best shape possible.

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DON’T GET CAUGHT WITHOUT IT

SPRING/SUMMER 2017

POP PERFECTION IT’S LOVELY JESS GLYNNE

MUCK AND NETTLES

NEIL WARNOCK IS FIXING CARDIFF FC

YOU’LL REMEMBER YOUR FIRST TIME

A VISITOR’S GUIDE TO COOL CARDIFF

READY FOR THE ALL BLACKS? THE LIONS HEAD DOWN UNDER

FREE

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SUV SEQUEL NAILS IT Mazda CX5 2.2D Sport

Thanks to Victoria Park Mazda, Hadfield Road, Cardiff

Ah, the difficult second album. Record collections are littered with great first albums from bands that promised much, only to follow-up with rubbish. Led Zep, my fave band, in contrast had a debut tour de force that was followed, remarkably by an even better second. Mazda have to pull off the same trick with the CX5. The first iteration was brilliant, breaking new ground for performance, handling, comfort and style in the mid range SUV sector. But can the all-new 2017 CX5 deliver on expectations? There’s clearly an element of ‘if it ain’t broke…’ going on here. The look is an evolution of the design language used throughout the range. Sharp, wellproportioned, sporty and instantly recognisable as a Mazda. We like it. Inside, there’s more space which makes for a light, airy feel and, in a car that’ll regularly have to lug a full contingent, many will welcome. The interior layout is broadly familiar but the repositioning of the screen to the top of the dash means a more modern, streamlined, minimalist fascia, a better positioned gearstick and more storage. The driving position is first class and seats are comfortable but the biggest step up is the quality vibe – Mazda have clearly concentrated their efforts in this area and the feel and finish is comparable to premium brands. Where they beat the premium brands is the level of kit for the money. Standard Sport spec includes leather, heads-up display, a Bose speaker system, electric seats, climate control, a reversing camera and a very impressive programmable electric tailgate, all significantly undercutting costs from much of the competition. Ride is comfortable and whilst it errs on the side of firm, after all we are in the Sport version with 19” rims, it soaks up bumpy roads easily, remaining composed and protecting occupants from the worst effects of traffic calming measures and poorly maintained surfaces. The cabin is quiet and refined too with minimal intrusion from road and wind noise, thanks to double-glazed windows. So, all told, the CX5 is a pleasant environment for driver and passengers, both around town and at speed. Again, the chassis may not be radically new in principle but Mazda continues to refine the principles of its SkyActiv engineering philosophy to deliver on its promise of ‘oneness’ between driver and car. 50% of the chassis components are new to deliver a lighter, stronger structure, with a 15% increase in rigidity, making it an excellent platform for an engaging drive. Steering and suspension have been uprated and retuned and they’ve introduced some fancy new software (G-Vectoring Control if you must know) to transfer load automatically at the wheels to ensure maximum grip. The upshot is the CX5 has moved the benchmark again for SUV handling – it is remarkable to think the CX5 is a large SUV given how well it drives. It genuinely feels like a saloon, cornering flat,

and with oodles of grip. The changes to the steering (new bushes and couplings) have made it more direct and instantaneous – not only can you place the CX5 exactly where you want, when you want, it’s actually good fun too, a word not often heard when talking about an SUV’s steering. Mazda have been pretty astute with their engine policy in recent years. They spotted the trend towards high efficiency early but have adopted a different approach, focussing on naturally aspirated (i.e. no turbos/ compressors and downsizing) petrol engines with higher compression ratios which are more efficient in real world driving, and more fun thanks to their free-revving nature. They were also cautious in the face of the headlong rush to diesel – asserting that diesel was not always the best option but at the same time making sure their diesels were ahead of the curve, incorporating two turbos, small and large, and SkyActiv principles. There are no ground-shaking changes to the engine line-up, as all effort has been focussed on tweaking them to improve refinement as much as performance. With an SUV, diesel’s torquey nature makes it a no brainer and our 2.2 diesel was the 150bhp variant. On paper, the 0-62 of 9.4secs though respectable is not remarkable. But in real world driving it’s an excellent, engaging engine. It’s lively, free-revving and fun with excellent in-gear performance which means response is instant, almost petrol-like in nature and you can overtake with ease. It’s also smooth and quiet for a diesel. It is married to a 6 speed manual, which is as slick as they come too. Yep, Mazda have nailed it again. And this time the premium brands should be really scared – if the buying public can tear themselves away from the superficial allure of a particular badge, they’ll find an SUV that’s as good, arguably better, for a lot less money.

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“Yep, Mazda have nailed it again. And this time the premium brands should be really scared”

Top speed: 127mph 0-62: 9.4 secs CO2: 132g MPG: 56.5 Price: £28,695

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HEALTH & GROOMING Jason Jones combs the shelves for the best in barnet buffery

6 of the Best… Hair Stylers

Ever since Delilah lopped off Samson’s locks, hair has a lot of history previous. Early Christian priests and monks shaved their crowns to symbolise a lack of vanity and commitment to chastity; in ancient Egypt, the hoi polloi had buzzcuts, while the Pharaohs wore elaborate wigs to flag up wealth and status; Vikings, contrary to wild-thatched myth, actually had a dread of dirty hair because they equated it with disease. Even today, hair has myriad meanings. A man-bun, say, signifies someone likely high on the Hipster Scale™ with a smashed-avocado-on-toast habit and a yen to own a unicycle. Stereotypes are stereotypes because we all want to be part of a tribe, no matter what the era. What has changed over time is the sheer volume of styling products on offer to tame our manes. 1. Mr Natty Clay Hair Preparation (100ml, £16.50) This is a great all-rounder. Superpliable, it adds thickness and a matte finish leaving hair looking healthy and slick. Plus, its subtle coconut smell is redolent of holidays on sandy beaches. 2. Murdock London Sea Salt Spray (150ml, £20) Sea salt is having ‘a moment’ in the barnet biz as us ordinary Joes try to recreate that just-steppedout-of-the-ocean casualness of an Abercrombie &

Spa Gazing Lush Spa, Cardiff Signature treatment: Best-known for their bath bombs so it’s got to be their Tales of Bath treatment (95mins, £110), which literally involves having a bath. You may think 110 quid is a bit much to take a dip, but there’s more to it than that. You begin with a shoulder massage, then take a mineral bath, all finished off with a full-body massage. Prices: Because Lush has a reputation for keeping their price-point High Street reasonable, the tariffs here may seem steep, but in fairness they’re actually pretty competitive for such a luxe, bespoke experience. Service: Zen-chilled, friendly and expansively knowledgeable with the ability to ghost themselves when you need some time on your own. The X Factor: The brand-spanking newness of the joint – it only opened this year – makes it look sleek and stylish as well as its location on Queen Street, one of the capital’s most bustling drags. So you can detox in the spa and then conveniently retox afterwards.

4 WAYS TO EXERCISE YOURSELF WELL Spinning for Chronic Headaches: The most common cause of persistent headaches is posture problems. When you work out on a spinning bike, it reinforces and enhances the position of the hip, shoulder and trunk muscles, resulting in a strengthened core and much-improved posture, which studies have shown help with chronic headbangers. T’ai Chi for Improved Immunity: Just 30 minutes of daily t’ai chi for one month can produce a tangible impact on the body’s immune system. In one study, blood samples taken the day before training started compared with ones taken the day after showed a statistically significant spike in white blood cells, the body’s natural infection fighters. Swimming for Heart Health: Swimming or water fitness classes will not only raise heart rate and therefore help heart health, but the water also provides multi-directional resistance that will increase muscular strength and tone. Swimming is a safe alternative if you have joint problems that walking or running can aggravate. Yoga & Pilates for Back Pain : These are effective exercises for back pain because they accommodate all levels of strength and flexibility. If you’re a beginner, you may not be able to bend very much or hold the positions for very long, but you’ll still feel benefits. The more advanced can still improve by attempting new moves and holding the positions longer. Like stretching, you get an immediate sense of relief and you’re bettering back health long-term.

Score: A strong 9 for its quirky uniqueness. lush.com

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Fitch ad. More suited to long and/or wavy hair, this gifts the desired mussed-up natural effect as well as upping condition. 3. Closed On Monday Deluxe Pomade (100ml, £14.50) So-named because hairdressers usually shut shop at the top of the week, this company specialises in follicular finishing flourishes. Best for shorter cuts, this keeps styles in place but minus that artificial Lego figurine sheen. 4. American Crew Grooming Cream (50g, £7.50) For those actively seeking the Lego head look, there’s this cream-gel hybrid that gives good shine to those 1940s throwback undercuts. Easy to apply with durable hold, it’s also pocket-pally. 5. Evo Cassius Styling Clay (90g, &19.95) Punningly-titled – although how much Muhammad Ali would have appreciated it is questionable – this is perfect for more unruly hair. Alternatively, it can big up the unruliness or as the packaging puts it “enables you to achieve shapes that previously only existed by forcing your head into a sofa”. Quite. 6. Morrocanoil Curl Control Mousse (150ml, £14.85) For curly hair, the trick is to go for a product that isn’t so heavy-duty it drags the bounce down. Using argan oil, this mousse defines and shapes curls as well as hydrating and UV-protecting them.

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62 REDHANDED Issue 3

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Restaurants & Bars New York Diner - City Road, Cardiff

First impressions are great. NYD has really nailed the whole New York loft thing. Bare brick, neon signage, soft filament lighting, comfy leather chairs and distressed furniture. And a combo of open plan and booths give a light and airy feel. There’s a great menu and lots of variations on the Americana theme too with plenty of takes on burgers. We kicked off with nachos, a staple done well, and with a cheese sauce for a bit of variety. I particularly liked my ‘dirty’ version with added home-made chile con carne, which Also impressive is the number of Veggie options particularly good for us with one avowed meat lover and one lettuce muncher. Another nice twist is the ability to build your own burger. Something that A, opted to do. Using a falafel burger as a base, she added caramelised onion and avocado mash to create a lovely, layered mix of flavours. The top notch falafel was

mildly spiced, the onion sweet and the avocado cooling and refreshing. Our littlun’s children’s meal chicken was proper chicken breast strips, with no nugget in sight, chargrill seasoned and grilled to perfection was ‘yummy, crunchy on the outside, tender in the middle’. My Empire Stack was immense – 16ozs of beef and pulled chicken with all the trimmings. Nicely cooked and well-seasoned it was quality as well as quantity, nicely cooked with a good depth of flavour throughout. For puds, for me at least it had to be New York cheese cake – classic and simple but oh so good, with a light but firm consistency, crunchy base and a tangy, delicately sweet cheesiness. The home-made waffles came laden with all kinds of chocolate gooeyness – perfect. NYD is not a conventional burger hangout, it’s so much more and 100% worth checking out.

New York Diner, 157 City Road, Cardiff CF24 3BQ Tel. 029 2048 9790

The Beech Tree Inn - Wenvoe, Cardiff It’s been quite some time since I enjoyed a Saturday evening out as much as my visit to The Beech Tree Inn near Wenvoe. An old friend kept me in gales of laughter all night, but the nostalgic location was the perfect spot for a warm catch-up. The menu is classic and comforting European fare, with an emphasis on excellent fish dishes. We began with the melt-in-the-mouth Tempura King Prawns, whilst my partner devoured the crunchy Hot Duck Salad. Although the local steak flies off the menu, along with the Monmouthshire lamb shank, I chose another firm Beech Tree Inn favourite: Sea Bass and Lemon Sole à la Meunière paired with a light Champagne and Mushroom velouté. A perfect balance and simple food elegance. An added thrill was the salad bar, awakening fond Cardiff childhood food memories. My partner’s Walnut and Herb-crusted Cod was just as delicious,

and within minutes we had both cleared our plates. For dessert, it proved impossible to resist the Black Forest Gâteau and accompanying Morello Cherry Ice Cream, for a blast of retro fun. I was astounded at the craftsmanship of this classic German torte, and it was as far from the soggy-bottomed ’70s food cliché as you can get. As light as a snowflake, and enhanced by the finely-fragranced iced treat, this was a classic reimagined for contemporary palates. We were the last to leave that evening, which really says it all; what a marvellous night. A welcome break from the city-centre, and yet only a 10 minute cab-ride away, we felt like we’d been given a hearty autumnal hug. Some restaurants are hyped to high heaven and close within a year, whilst others stay the distance for good reason. ‘Fashion fades but style remains’, so said Coco Chanel; indeed, the very same could be said for The Beech Tree Inn.

The Beech Tree Inn Old Port Rd, Wenvoe, Cardiff CF5 6DN Tel. 029 2059 3106

The Pelican - Ogmore Rd, Bridgend Situated on the road to Ogmore, I’d often fancied popping in to The Pelican in her Piety after a day on the beach but had always been thwarted in my attempts, so came with no preconceptions. What we found was a centuries old building bursting with character. We turned-up with our two-year old boy in tow, and were blown-away by the quality, variety and originality of the children’s menu – especially as the mains were also available in half-portions. Once too often sucked into headache inducing neon ‘kid friendly’ restaurants, it was reassuring to be in a ‘grown-ups pub’ that also served kids so well. For him we chose the children’s Grazing Board: chicken, carrot sticks, cucumber, apple, grape, breadsticks (£5). Fresh, nutritious and colourful. My partner J and I started with the Fisherman’s Sharing Board – whitebait, fish fingers, prawn cocktail, cockles/bacon/laverbread, smoked salmon, tartar sauce and aioli (£15). All very high-standard and as if plucked from the sea off Ogmore itself that very morning – with the smoked salmon one of the stand-outs as well as the Laverbread and the moreish home-made bread. Mains of autumn

vegetable stew, herb dumplings, sticky red cabbage (£13) for me and lamb and mint baguette with chunky chips (£7) for J were hearty, warming and incredibly filling. Mine was served with a bucket of delicious caramelised red-cabbage – good enough to just chowdown on all by itself, whilst the stew oozed a rich and flavoursome stock. J’s lamb baguette was more like a French-stick filled to the brim with delicate, salty meat lashed with home-made mint sauce. For dessert we chose Lemon posset - lemon curd, broken biscuit and meringue topped with fresh strawberries (£6) that tasted so refreshing and light that I scooped up every spoonful. We couldn’t not choose the Snickers chocolate fondant (£7) – a lovely gooey, warm nest of nutty chocolate off-set with salted caramel ice-cream, chocolate mousse and popping candy. We recommend you wash it all down with a pint of Horny Goat Ale – like the Pelican itself it won’t disappoint.

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The Pelican Ogmore Rd, Bridgend CF32 0QP Tel. 01656 856464

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Restaurants & Bars The Admiral St David - Cardiff Bay

The Admiral St David, St David’s Hotel, Havannah St, Cardiff CF10 5SD. Tel: 029 2045 4045 www.thestdavidshotel.com

As Cardiff ’s only 5* hotel, the expectation is that St David’s restaurant should be fine dining. But, that’s not necessarily what its guests, after a day’s wheeler dealing or a bruising match, want. They want to kick back. And what better way to relax than with a menu inspired, uniquely in Cardiff, by the most laid-back country in the world – Australia. But, isn’t Australia just bbq’s? Nope. It’s now an exciting, cosmopolitan melting pot of SE Asian, world and Antipodean cuisine. As we admired the sunset over Cardiff Bay, our amiable host Romain, made a few suggestions that would give a good overview of the new menu. Key elements are fresh produce, which is Welsh wherever possible, expertly prepared by headchef Martyn Watkins, bold flavours, a deftness of touch and a wee bit of fun, which extended to the staff ’s interaction with customers. My starter of mussels, in black beans, chillies and coconut cream epitomised this – an imaginative and playful twist on a classic, its bold ingredients used sparingly to let the sea-spray taste of the beautifully fresh, tender Welsh mussels shine. A’s judiciously used a sweet beetroot puree and zingy salsa to add pizazz to a delightful Pant Ysgawn goats cheese bonbon. The lemongrass marinated Welsh lamb rump main stayed on message. The lemongrass was a sublime masterstroke but subtle nonetheless, allowing you to focus on the perfectly pink lamb’s sweet taste, ably

supported by a delicately spicy Moroccan couscous . A’s Korean derived Pajeon pancake with Wild Mushrooms and Bulgogi sauce was a savoury flavour bomb. Romain’s recommended wines, a Billi Billi Riesling, a Spee Wah cab shiraz and a Puglian Villa dei Fiori were excellent and well matched to the dishes. Desserts are where the guys let their hair down. The Peach Melba is not your typical Peach Melba – I won’t spoil the surprise but it was a hoot. The exuberant Chocolate Chemeux was a visual treat with the chocolate mousse bombs rich and velvety and the mango sorbet delightfully refreshing. And all rounded off with a cracking Old Fashioned ‘smoked’ whiskey cocktail. The food was a delightful departure from the norm – informal and fun but seriously good and certainly different. Combined with a great location, calmly sophisticated vibe and a level of service befitting a world-class hotel, The Admiral has got the balance of wow factor, informality and great food absolutely nailed.

Park House Restaurant - Cardiff It is eighteen years since Chef Andrew Frost from Aberthaw was an apprentice in a Cardiff kitchen. Back in 1999, during the Rugby World Cup, he trained under Martin Green at St David’s Hotel. He honed his craft as the years went by in some of Europe’s most celebrated restaurants; Auberge du Lac, Petrus, and Le Cinq at the Hotel George V in Paris, to name but a few. Following a period at the helm of his own restaurant in the city of lights, the Welshman has now come home. Still only 34 years old, he’s now Head Chef at the Park House Restaurant on Park Place; I’m delighted to say that Paris’ loss is Cardiff ’s gain. Two months into his tenure, it was my absolute pleasure to experience his 7 course Autumn Tasting Menu. With an emphasis on sourcing the best ingredients available, it combines the freshest flavours from Wales, and beyond, with French flair and savoir faire. Prior to the meal, I savoured a Maple Syrup Manhattan at the restaurant’s stunning new bar upstairs; reminiscent of a bittersweet Old Fashioned, it warmed the cockles on a crisp autumn eve. And following the restaurant’s recent inclusion on a list of the 100 best wine restaurants in the world, I chose the wine pairings menu as well. Park House Restaurant 20 Park Place, Cardiff CF10 3DG Tel. 029 2022 4343

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I am an avowed carnivore, but it was the menu’s seafood dishes that blew me away, and underscored the playful pleasure of some very unexpected winepairings. I relished the Cornish crab-meat cone, as well as the sweet Scottish hand-dived scallop, but the

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Penarth Sea Bass, served with Pembrokeshire sea herbs and heritage carrots, was a dream I dearly hope to re-live. I was pleasantly surprised that it was matched with a Hush Heath Estate ‘Manor’ Pinot Noir, full of lip-smacking berry flavours, and the fact that the wine was from Kent was a revelation. The Paimpol beans with truffles was a comforting treat, as was the divine Brecon Venison served with smoked mash and plum jus. But it really was the matching wines that elevated the flavours to high heaven, especially the Spanish Priorat, which balanced the intensity of the rich game dish to a tee. A midcourse French cheese plate was a first for me, but I could have indulged the x-rated gooey-ness of the Mont d’Or Vacherin all night. And as we headed to a close, I adored the fresh combination of a fennel and pear crème brulee, followed by the intense Valrhona Chocolate Mousse with Buttermilk Ice Cream; two delicious desserts presented with a lightness of touch, that is rare. What an audacious return home for the ‘Chef Gallois’, a mere eight weeks after crossing the channel, with a knock-out autumn menu that left me aching for winter to come. If it’s been some time since you enjoyed the Gothic splendour of Park House, make it a priority to visit at once. Chef Andrew Frost is a master at work, and with big plans for Cardiff, he’s only just begun.

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BOOKS & FILMS

You cannot be serious! Jason Jones is reading a book by John McEnroe

NO GOOD DEED

BUT SERIOUSLY

The story setup here is intriguing. One day while walking around Soho, big-noise restaurant critic Alan Grainger is approached by a begging homeless man. Sadly, nothing unusual in that, except the homeless man refers to him by name. Grainger assumes the man has recognised him from his byline photo, but in fact he’s former school friend, Craig Carmichael, whose life is clearly not as charmed as his. Crippled with middleclass guilt, Grainger decides to help his erstwhile mate and this is when the abbreviated title taken from that old adage “No good deed goes unpunished” kicks in. Far from being grateful, Carmichael proceeds to detonate a bomb in Grainger’s life.

John McEnroe is a well-known motormouth. From his infamous you-cannot-be-serious refrain during his playing days to his much sought-after stints in the commentary box, the eternal superbrat of tennis is renowned for his Noo Yawk you-talkin’-to-me? tongue.

John Niven £16.99, William Heinemann

This concept could come off as ridiculously far-fetched, but Niven is the master of taking an implausible scenario and making it entirely believable. This is partly down to his excellent ear for real-sounding dialogue, but also because he adheres to that basic literary dictum: write about what you know. Like Grainger, Niven grew up working-class in Scotland and ended up living the bling dream in meeja London, so the outsider becomes the insider and that’s what roots the novel in reality. Essentially, this is a coruscating meditation on male friendship, which in turn becomes a hilarious misanthropic sideswipe at the grotesque absurdities of modern life.

Do you know what a blade runner is? Adam Kennedy does. He might even tell you…

THE DEATH OF STALIN Once you get past the surreal idea of a movie inspired by the infamous Soviet dictator being conducted entirely in English, The Death of Stalin becomes an unexpected shout for ‘Comedy of the Year’. From the writers behind Veep and Alan Partridge, it is similarly jammed with awkward hands-over-eyes humour. There’s a stellar cast featuring Steve Buscemi and Michael Palin, with Bond girl Olga Kurylenko thrown in for balance. You’ll also spot Ystrad Mynach’s very own Richard Brake, aka the Night King from Game of Thrones too. The action takes an absurdist arc around the plotting that follows the Communist firebrand popping his marching boots. Rupert Friend is superbly oily as his son and Jason Isaacs hilariously northern depicting an army kingpin, successfully playing the whole episode for unlikely laughs. For fans of: In the Loop; Alpha Papa Verdict: Death has rarely been so amusing 4/5

PROFESSOR MARSTON AND THE WONDER WOMEN Hot on the heels of the Wonder Woman movie comes this biopic of the heroine’s creator, Harvard psychologist Dr William Moulton Marston, played by Welsh star Luke Evans. The movie’s unwieldy title is far from the most complicated facet here: Evans smoulders as a man besotted with two women – his wife and his student mistress. The subsequent polyamorous attraction in the buttoned-up 1940s is pulled from the brink of disbelief by the fact it’s all based on actual

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John McEnroe £20, Weidenfeld & Nicholson

Predictably, this sometimes lands him in hot water. While promoting this memoir, he claimed that Serena Williams, widely rated as the greatest female player of all time, would only be ranked around 700 if she played on the men’s circuit. Cue a firestorm of controversy. Mac wasn’t bothered, though. Dissent is meat and drink to him, which may not win him many friends but makes for one helluva entertaining autobiography. So we get his blistering verbal volleys on the deepseated elitism in tennis, the distraction of grunting, strategic timeouts, how doubles “is on life-support” and equal prize money (he’s all for it). It’s not all anti-Establishment ranting, though; he writes with real passion about his love of music and art and poignantly and tenderly about not appreciating his late father enough and his son Kevin’s arrest on drug charges. Could the “Jesus of Anger”, as his wife calls him, be mellowing? Not much, truthfully, because his signature irreverence runs through this book like marrow through a bone as McEnroe serves up a revealing insight into the afterlife of an athlete. events. Looking for busty Amazonians and action sequences? Sorry, bud, wrong movie. For fans of: Original Sin; Dracula Untold Verdict: Sex without a superhero in sight 3/5

BLADE RUNNER 2049 The movie that kickstarted a genre of dystopian sci-fi has been crying out for a sequel for 35 years – so long, in fact, that we’re only two years away from hitting the date of its setting. Harrison Ford, star of the original, returns, alongside Ryan Gosling, one of the next generation of blade runners (police hunting down “replicant” androids) who discovers then forms an uneasy alliance with the long-missing Ford. It all leads to a chaotic couple of hours that crackle with much, if not quite all, of the original’s near-future cool. For fans of: Blade Runner; Dune A sci-fi must-see 4/5

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MUSIC REVIEWS Live and on the speakers, here’s what we’ve been listening to

ALBUMS P!nk - Beautiful Trauma

Liam Gallagher - As You Were

Stars - 2

Stars - 4

It’s been almost 20 years since P!nk burst onto the airwaves, all exclamation marks and RnB infused party tunes. Beautiful Trauma is her seventh album and you have to wonder if she’s running out of ideas. Anyone who’s listened to a previous Pink album will be familiar with the rhythm of this one - a couple of party songs, some lovelorn power balladry, the odd heart-on-sleeve pop song and a nod towards social issues. Sure, there’s a baffling moment when she has a bash at rapping, but otherwise it’s pretty much business as usual. Whatever You Want sounds like something Taylor Swift would bash out between boyfriends, while Where We Go has overtones of Ed Sheeran and the title track has cowriter-of-the-moment Jack Antonoff ’s pianopounding paw prints all over it - but despite influences that are glaringly obvious to the 2017 pop fan, filtered through Pink’s powerful pipes they make the album unmistakably hers.

Who’d have thought it? After the high profile fall outs, the lacklustre offerings from Beady Eye and then several years of silence, Liam is back with a solo album. And blimey it’s actually… really good. He might come across as all mouth and no trousers when he’s on the Graham Norton show, but it’s clear there’s way more to him than just the voice. The genius is in the collaborations. Adele’s producer Greg Kurstin is one, Andrew Wyatt who has collaborated with Florence + the Machine is another. The result is surprisingly crafted, even (shock, horror) a bit like the Oasis of the old days, when they were good. Greedy Soul is a rollicking rock song with a catchy chorus and great guitar riffs. Wall of Glass is just as gutsy, a great single and well worth turning up loud. For What It’s Worth is a lovely Lennon-esque ballad which sounds a lot like Don’t Look Back In Anger, anthemic stuff. Tuneful, melodic, utterly uplifting. And in front of it all… that voice. I’d forgotten how uniquely compelling it is. It has range, it has depth and it all comes across as surprisingly effortless. This album will sell truckloads. And it should.

Kate Solomon

Jeremy Head

GIGS Green Man Festival Glorious Green Man returned once again on 17-20th August, encouraging us to shed our urban, citydwelling ways and replace them with more earthy, simple pleasures. Said pleasures cover an epic range. You could unearth new blissed-out folky (or not so folky) music emanating from any of the five main stages dotted around the site, feed your brain listening to the talks, interviews and discussions happening at the Babbling Tongues stage and discover your new favourite local ale (take a punt on any of the 100 or so different Welsh ales on sale). There was surprisingly good grub too: an array of globally influenced eats that grabbed your palette’s attention like a stranger firing gun-shots in the air. And then let’s not forget the workshops, facilitators and activities housed on-site that were there to inspire, influence and have you leaving Green Man a better person. Oh, did I mention the live music? PJ Harvey, Future Islands and Ryan Adams were the big names chosen to help celebrate the festival’s 15th year – with the former two’s performances especially memorable experiences thanks to the unique setting and backdrop afforded by the Mountain Stage. It seems to have the power to

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eek out an extra 10% from some performers - British Sea Power and Hurray for the Riff Raff included – the latter’s front-woman Alynda Segarra bewitching and mesmerising despite the dreary mountain drizzle. Mix all that up in a cauldron that includes Sleaford Mods, Julian Cope, Kate Tempest, Oh Sees, the unforgiving and unpredictable Beacons weather, the Green Man aflame, loads and loads and loads of families with toddlers and babies…and hot tubs - and you start to get an idea of how other-worldly it can all seem living there in a tent for the duration. Talking of ‘duration’, ‘families’ and ‘tent’ – The Settlement is a full seven-day stay in the run-up to the Festival that guarantees epic outdoor adventure, designed so that you and loved ones can explore everything from workshops (think bow-making, qigong, yoga, bat walks, beatboxing and much more) to Welsh language classes, discussions and talks, live music, entertainment, late-night comedy, iron-age sports days, pub quizzes and BBQ’s. Rest-up, stay a while, leave inspired. This is way more than a festival. Owain Taylor-Shaw

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LOYALTY BONUS RedHanded: So, what is Memberoo? Emma Smith: It helps high street retailers better use the data they generate to personalise the rewards and offers they give to their customers. We feel there’s far too many loyalty programmes out there that don’t recognise that as a consumer we’re all individuals. You can give a vegetarian an offer for a free hamburger every day of the week but it doesn’t recognise that they’re different and don’t eat meat so what’s the point? So, we’ve given them a platform that helps generate data and takes other forms of data in. It enables the retailer to personalise the rewards and offers based on the individuality of their customers to make them shop more frequently and spend more money with them. RH: It sounds transformative – is it going to disrupt the loyalty scheme industry in the same way as Facebook has media, and Uber taxis? ES: I think so. The online businesses have been doing this a long time but it’s easy for them because they’ve got the data at their finger-tips and huge budgets. What we’re doing is filling in the black holes in high street retailers’ data. They know what is being bought but they don’t know who is buying it, and who or what are the key elements. That’s what Memberoo does. It ties up that data and enables people without a PhD in analytics to make use of it and personalise their rewards and offers. RH: Where did the idea come from? ES: It came from my Master’s thesis where I looked at what influences retail behaviour. It’s nothing revolutionary – Tesco Clubcard in the 90’s recognised that we’re all individuals and that if you tap into that you can really increase your profit. But not everybody’s got access to a £30m data centre. So we wanted to see how we could produce the same results in a platform that could be bought by any retailer from an independent to an international. RH: How on earth did you get the idea from the drawing table to reality? ES: It’s been a long, bumpy journey, but we’re very lucky to have very supportive, encouraging funders who understand our vision. That’s enabled us to build the team, including specialists from Voucher Cloud and Groupon who can bring that knowledge into our team, which has enabled us to drive the business forward. There’s no magic formula just a lot of hard work and persistence, iteration, learning, testing in the market and more iteration. RH: What were the key stages? ES: The initial fundraise was really important. It’s all very well building a proof of concept or minimum viable product (MVP) and getting it out there but you need funding to build the team to take it to the

next level. So finding the right funding and funders was crucial to us – people who were supportive of our vision and understood that it was going to take time but were able to help us get there faster. And then getting the product out to market was key. We launched in Cardiff in June and consumers were really receptive and supportive and that data has enabled us to take it to a different level. We have another phase planned for early next year which will enable much more customer segmentation through machine learning, artificial intelligence and significant growth. RH: It sounds like a costly product to launch – how did you raise the finance? ES: We were really lucky as we were incubated by the University of Bath’s Set Square program which really helped us understand what we needed to do to raise money – by demonstrating we had a product that solved a clear problem that had a market need. Then we just got out there – met investors and talked to business angels. Then we got a product out there, even though it was just an MVP, so we could gather data to prove that businesses and consumers want it and use that to drive the proposition forward with funders. We have had a very traditional journey – friends and family, then business angels and then the Development Bank of Wales (formerly Finance Wales) which will take us toward venture capital money next year.

Emma Smith, CEO of tech Start-up Memberoo explains how she turned a great, but ambitious, idea into a thriving, highgrowth business.

RH: How has the Development Bank of Wales helped? ES: As well as funding they’ve got great connections and insight. With the angels’ mentoring, together they really help drive us forward. The great thing that the development bank has got is an over-arching eye on the landscape on everything from technical innovation to coffee shops. That’s a huge wealth of knowledge on what is happening in the market and how we can use that to our advantage. They’ve also got a fantastic network of Welsh businesses and they’re well connected in the funding community as well. They’ve got their finger on the pulse. That is hugely valuable to a business because when you’ve got your head-down slaving away in the office you need someone to keep an eye on the competitor landscape outside of your specialism. They understand our vision and that it takes time to get there – we’ve been very lucky to find that. RH: Tips for anyone looking to do something on a similar scale? ES: Start small, get your proposition out to market as quickly, cheaply and leanly as possible and learn from what the market tells you and iterate. Funders need to see that the market actually wants your product and they want to see data to prove it.

www.memberoo.net developmentbank.wales

Sarah Smith: Portfolio Investment Executive at the Development Bank of Wales: “Emma is an inspiring CEO. She’s taken an idea from her university Master’s and placed it on the Welsh high street. Memberoo is practical technology which will benefit both consumers and small businesses, we’re excited about its potential.

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RAISON D’ETRE The Park House has to rank as one of Cardiff ’s most delightful and influential buildings. Designed by one of the greatest Victorian architects, William Burges, for the Marquess of Bute it’s a masterpiece of mid 19th Century Gothic revival grandeur. How fitting that a building inspired by French gothic architecture is now the home of the finest French fine-dining cuisine in Cardiff.

Aware that this great building deserved something special, the current owners wanted to create a fine dining experience befitting such stunning architecture. For a number of months, the hunt was on for a chef worthy of the recently redecorated building, the award-winning wine list (the Park House wine menu is ranked in the top 120 in the world) and the aspirations of patron Adam Pledger. With admittedly high expectations, after numerous interviews and false dawns and having almost got to the point of giving up, a CV landed on Adam’s desk

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that made his jaw drop. From a Welsh born chef looking to relocate back to Wales, who’d seen the ad a number of times before finally replying. Serendipity. Andrew Frost is a classically trained chef who started his career at the newly opened St David’s Hotel in 1998 before leaving Wales to work with a veritable who’s who of world class chefs at some of the world’s most acclaimed French restaurants including Petrus (Ramsay), Trianon Palace in Versailles (Zanoni), George Le Cinq in Paris (Le Squer), all 1, 2 or 3 Michelin starred. Andrew’s ethos is simple. His ambition is not. He believes the best food, no matter how many stars, is uncomplicated. Great ingredients, expertly prepared (in a classically French way, of course) and beautifully presented. For him, great food doesn’t necessarily need to be complex for its own sake with numerous competing flavours and textures, nor does it have it to

be an unorthodox twist on a classic or a novel mix of flavours. Far from it. Do it simply but do it perfectly. He starts with the ingredients. Wales has some of the best produce in the world and Andrew intends to hunt high and low to find the freshest, most flavoursome ingredients. All red meat, for example, is sourced from the Welsh Venison Centre’s free range farm near Brecon. Foraged herbs from Pembrokeshire, stone-ground flour from a water-powered mill in St Dogmaels. Where he can’t find produce that meets his high standards, he’ll bring it over from the local food market he personally used in Paris, such is his dedication. Though proudly Welsh, when it comes to food, Andrew’s passion lies in classic French cooking. “The French live for food and the British eat food to live. I want to show people that we can and should have the same love affair with food. Taking the best produce and not changing the taste but enhancing it - that’s what French cooking is. A carrot should taste like a carrot, produce should be seasonal and meat should be respectful of its surroundings where possible. Ultimately, great cooking is the accumulation of small things done to perfection.’’ Andrew’s desire to serve an elegant but not overly complicated menu means you may have had a particular dish before but his intention, allied to his experience and training, is that you’ll never have experienced a version as good as his. “You can have a straight-forward broiled chicken with herbs and seasoning but I promise you, if it’s cooked exactly as it should be it’ll be the best chicken you’ll ever have. Whether it’s the best soup, the best chicken or the best chocolate tart, it’s far better to have three or four core ingredients and keep it simple but do it well. Look at Marco Pierre White – he gained 3 Michelin stars with a lemon tart on his menu, but it was a stunning lemon tart.”

The expectation might be that dining at the Park House would be expensive. Not so says Andrew. “I want people to walk away smiling, having enjoyed a lovely meal. Not checking their bank account!” To prove the point, he explains that a two-course lunch can be had for £20 and a three course for £25. Andrew and Adam have great ambition for the Park House. Not only is there a heart-felt desire to give Cardiff a magical taste of France but they also want to put Cardiff on the culinary map and restore some pride in the city’s food offering, especially after Jay Rayner’s recent savaging. “Rightly or wrongly, it’s sad that Cardiff ’s restaurants do not have a great reputation. We want to change that. We want Cardiff to be seen as a hotbed of great food.” But more than this, there is also a genuine will to create a legacy. They intend to bring on and inspire a new generation of chefs and offer them a real career at the highest level in a happy kitchen, knowing that they, in turn, will make their own mark on the Cardiff, Wales and beyond. “If we can do this, and make our customers truly happy when they dine with us, we’ll have really achieved something special.” 20 Park Place, Cardiff www.parkhouserestaurant.co.uk

“Rightly or wrongly, it’s sad that Cardiff’s restaurants do not have a great reputation. We want to change that. We want Cardiff to be seen as a hotbed of great food.”

“This doesn’t mean there won’t be elegantly sophisticated menus and showcase signature dishes, such as Duck Pithivier, Brill with Bordelaise sauce, Celeriac and truffle, Venison with Smoked Mash and Adam’s favourite, Roast Halibut with Heritage Carrots, Confit Lemon and Pembrokeshire Sea Herbs.”

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ARTICLE Can you believe it? This is Bennett’s 50th back page column for RedHanded!

- NO, NOT THAT ONE

I can’t believe this is my 50th Back Page column. It’s true that time flies when you’re having fun. I remember when I was first approached by the lovely people at RedHanded and asked if I would write about what it was like being a comedian, a television writer and a sex symbol (I’m kidding. They never mentioned the TV writing.) So what has happened since I first started? Well, amongst other things, the people of the UK chose to leave the European Union and the people of the USA chose a reality TV star as their President. The world is certainly older, but I’m not sure it’s wiser. Other things have had their 50th anniversary since I started writing, including James Bond, Star Trek and Doctor Who. Coincidentally as I’m writing this, I have just read the sad news that Daniel Craig, the man who said he would prefer to “slash his wrists” than play James Bond again, has agreed to play James Bond again. Casino Royale aside, he is the worst actor to play the role. He has managed to make one of the greatest film roles of all time humourless, dull and onedimensional. And the fact he has agreed to take the money and play the part again means there’s even less chance I will ever get to do it.

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Oh and whilst we are talking about roles, isn’t it great that the new Doctor Who will be a woman? Of course, being a comedian, when it was first announced I joined in with the easy jokes like “will she have a sonic lipstick?” and “will having a TARDIS mean she’ll be the only woman to actually get ready on time?” But I do think it’s a great sign of the changing times. And the people who are furious that a fictional 900-year-old regenerating alien can become a woman, need to take a good hard look at themselves. And then leave their caves for some fresh air. In addition to long-running series having their 50th anniversaries, I also know many people who have recently turned 50. Whilst some are taking it in their stride (albeit a stride with the onset of arthritis) others seem to be struggling. Many of them, predominantly male, are having what can only be described as a midlife crisis (which is optimistic as it means they will be expected to live until they are 100). They are buying

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sports cars, dating younger girls and going out without their coats on. Whilst dating a younger girl may sound good in theory to many a man, in practice it’s not all fun and games. A friend of mine who is recently divorced after a very long marriage, went out on a date with a girl 15 years his junior. He told me they went to a club where the music was so loud it gave him a headache and he had to go to the toilet to take two Nurofen. (Not the same type of drugs as other people were taking apparently.) And he said he was so out of touch on the whole ‘going out’ thing that he kept making mistakes. For example, when he asked the girl what she wanted to drink and she replied “a Jägerbomb” he said “a half or a pint”? And when he asked her what she thought of the place and she said “it’s sick”. So he apologised and suggested they went somewhere else instead. Something else that has recently celebrated its 50th anniversary is the cash machine, or ATM, or Hole-InThe-Wall. The first one was at a branch of Barclays in Enfield, North London and the first person to use it was the actor Reg Varney from the 70’s sitcom On The Buses. (Sadly, I’ve not looked any of this up. It’s just one of those pointless facts I have in my head which, until now, has been useless except for the occasional pub quiz). So what will I be writing about in another 50 issues’ time? How Alan Sugar is getting on as our new Prime Minister? Or how Daniel Craig is unfortunately STILL James Bond, except now he’s having his Ovaltine shaken not stirred? Of course, the way things are going, we might not be here at all, as Trump, Putin and Kim Jong Un might have blown us all up in an attempt to prove who has the biggest… weapon. So Happy 50th Anniversary RedHanded. I wasn’t sure what to give you as a gift and then I realised that, as it’s 50, it has to be something gold. Well, they say silence is golden, so… © Bennett Arron Spring 2017 See what Bennett’s up to at www.bennettarron.com Follow Bennett on Twitter @bennettarron

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