A Misanthrope's visit to the
Alekzia hosein
Santa Claus Parade
I hate crowds. I hate noise. I hate parades. But I do love Christmas. That's why I dragged my weak, hung-over body out of bed on the overcast morning of Sunday, November 20 to join the masses lined up along Bloor Street for Toronto's 107th Santa Claus Parade. The overcrowded subway cars ought to have been my first clue: I struggled to find a seat among the sea of strollers, puppies and toddlers. Although Bloor trains were running frequently near the beginning of the parade, the platforms crowded quickly. Hours before the parade was scheduled to begin, before the roads closed, parents spread blankets and assembled folding chairs, staking out the best viewing posts. Their victories were short lived, as families flooded the sidewalks, there was barely enough room for a stroller, let alone a blanket or
cavalcade of folding chairs. The tallest parents lifted their children onto their shoulders, leaving the others tiptoeing in vain. Toronto's Santa Claus Parade dates back to 1905, when Santa Claus walked from Union Station to Eaton's department store on Yonge Street. In 1982, two years after the show's 75th anniversary, Eaton's announced that it could no longer sponsor the parade. Within three days, twenty businesses had donated money to sponsor floats. These days, the Santa Claus Parade is a non-profit organization run by 12 year-round employees. Traditionally, the parade travels down Yonge Street from Bloor. This year, the parade route was altered to run along University Avenue and around Queen’s Park. It began at Christie Pits Park and ended at St. Lawrence Market. Organizers explained that this route allows the floats more space and that Queen’s Park is able to host more spectators.
$1,400,000 This year's Parade Budget 500 behind-the-scenes Volunteers 26 Floats in the parade 25 Professional artists make the floats 500 Gallons of Paint used on the floats 250 Brushes used to spread the paint 1,250 Total Marchers 110 Parade marshals 6 - 8 Children Supervised by each Marshal
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Mayor Rob Ford managed to walk the entire five mile route, handing out candy canes about midway through the parade. Flanked by about a dozen celebrity clowns, his presence was widely tolerated by the crowd. This was the first year that Mrs. Claus was featured with a float just for her. Among other special guests were high school cheerleaders, dozens of marching bands, Ronald McDonald (representing one of the parade's largest corporate sponsors) and the parade's infamous handstand monkeys. After the parade, Bloor Street remained closed until its intersection with Bay Street, as thousands of viewers stampeded to the subway. To detract parents from driving, the TTC offered free service to children less than 12 years of age, provided they had red clown noses, hundreds of which were handed out during the parade.
Ideas to improve the Santa Claus Parade
• More free giveaways • Increased sidewalk room: move the barriers into the street a little, so that sidewalks can continue to be used for people • Forbid people from standing underneath scaffolding • Two Santas, so people can leave earlier or come later • Fewer marching bands • Emergency vehicles will not be allowed to use sirens. It’s more alarming than entertaining.
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• Tiered seating/standing viewing places • Shops along the route should create seasonal special event menus, Nuit Blanche style • Run the parade at night! • Fewer helicopters • Special zones for photographers as there is nothing more irritating than trying to see over a dozen arms in the air. • Child-friendly viewing zones • Complimentary stroller parking, similar to a coat check
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• More subway trains running along the Bloor and University lines • On ice! • Everyone naked; less people will come • Have it snow! • Combine Pride and Santa Claus Parades. • Rob Ford will play Santa Claus. He will ride in on a gravy train float. • Make people buy tickets for priority viewing posts • Karaoke
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