The Mike - March 12

Editorial

2 To the readers of The Mike,

We, the writers, editors, and designers of this publication apologize for falling short of our obligation to the student body. As you may have noticed, we have not published since our November 5 issue in 2014. A crisis in management and collapse in communication kept us from producing the top-quality publication that you all have to come to love.

After an intense period of restructuring that resulted in a change in management, and with support from St. Michael’s College and SMCSU, we are on track to finish the year in good standing.

With this issue, and the ones to follow, we are committed to producing high-quality content on a regular basis. But we’ll need your involvement and support. Write for us. Draw for us. Edit us - we need it. This is your college, your newspaper, and your moment to make The Mike consistent, fiscally sound, and kick-ass.

Sincerely, The Mike Masthead

Editor-in-Chief Mr. Louis Train

editorinchief@readthemike.com

Arts Editor

Mr. Mark Matich arts@readthemike.com

Living Editor

Mr. John Castellarin living@readthemike.com

Opinions Editor

Senior Copy Editor

Ms. Melissa Morgado

Ms. Palakh Chhabria

Design Manager Ms. Salena Barry

Business Manager Mr. Yasir Mustafa

opinions@readthemike.com

Opinions are the new black. write or edit for us

editorinchief@readthemike.com

@readthemike The Mike is the Official Bi-weekly Student Newspaper of St. Michael’s College in the University of Toronto, publishing since 1947. The Mike has a circulation of 2000, delivered to over 40 newsstands across the University of Toronto: St. George Campus and is published by The Mike Publications Inc. The Mike is printed by MasterWeb Inc on recycled newsprint stock and is a member of Canadian University Press. Copyright: 2012 The Mike Publications Inc. All Rights Reserved. All editorial inquires should be sent to editorinchief@readthemike.com. The Mike reserves the right to edit all submissions

LOOKING TO CONTRIBUTE? DROP US A LINE! editorinchief@readthemike.com www.readthemike.com 416-926-7272 • 81 ST. MARY ST. • TORONTO ON • M5S 1J4 •

editorial

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LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

If you ask a teaching assistant why they’re on strike, they’re likely to tell you that they take home only $15,000 per year, which is well below the poverty line. They’re likely to tell you even if you don’t ask.

I don’t mean to seem glib. Poverty is a serious issue, and it’s nothing short of an embarrassment that our TAs make less than fast food workers and janitors. In fact, UofT TAs make less than almost anyone, except undergraduates.

Undergraduates at UofT have no guaranteed funding. They have to compete for work-study positions, which pay hardly a fraction of $15,000. If TA wages are an embarrassment, undergraduate employment is an abomination.

It might seem like I’m comparing apples to undergraduates. But TAs and undergrads have the same basic needs, and most undergrads I spoke to confirmed that they also did not care for poverty.

Undergraduates are expected to live at home and be supported by their parents–but this expectation is unfair and arbitrary, like giving the older kids more time on the swing set. Many undergrads don’t get help from parents, and many graduate students do.

I don't mean to discredit the demands of the striking TAs, or to call for action from the undergrads. I just mean that if the Univeristy should support its students, the Univeristy should support all its students.

– LOUIS TRAIN, INTERIM EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

THIS WEEK AT ST. MIKE'S: 13: SMCSU Athletics Commission: Athletics Banquet, Second

Gaming Tournament 18: Kelly's Korner 20: SMCSU Ed. & Gov. Event 25: Self-Care Day at Brennan Lounge (Dean's event)

ARTS

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Netflix Binge: House of Cards Season 3

Reviewing the first half of the season

lives by “the end justifies the means”, the idea of Frank as the most powerful man in the world is pretty tantalizing.

John Castellarin|Living Editor Finally back for its third season, House of Cards is easily one of the most entertaining

shows currently on air. With Francis Underwood now in the oval office it’s exciting to see how he will finally make his mark on U.S. history. As an individual who

Despite being a man who was always in control, season 3 has started where season 2 ended, with Frank becoming more reliant on his peers. Thinking of Francis’s career hanging in the balance of those around him is disheartening, and was a common thread in the first few episodes. For the first time he doesn’t have the support of his own party, who don’t want him to run in the next election, and he can’t gather the support required to implement his job creation plan. Claire fails to make things easy for him as well, forcing him to use aggressive and unorthodox techniques to make her U.S. ambassador to the UN.

Francis’s failure to bring him back on board (a poor decision) has led Doug to seek work with political rivals. Doug continues to be the most interesting and complex character on the show, an individual who is both damaged and wicked but somehow still endearing given his unwavering loyalty. Doug’s being pitted against Francis seems far-fetched and it will be interesting to see how they will take advantage of what they know.

Overall, the first half of season 3 has been entertaining and seems to be revving up for an exciting second half. But as the wind continues to blow against Frank, one can’t help but think that no matter what he does, his house of cards may finally fall.

The surprising recovery of Doug has added a further dimension of complexity as

Rad Robot: Blomkamp’s Chappie Energetic and Entertaining Review of District 9 Director's latest feature Mark Matich|Arts Editor

The third feature from director Neill Blomkamp (District 9), Chappie is an action-comedy centred on the robot of the title, the secret project of inventor Deon Wilson. Wilson (Dev Patel) creates the machine unbeknownst to his bosses, who control arms manufacturing in a near-future South Africa similar to the one depicted in District 9. Chappie not in line with most other films about artificial intelligence—its strengths are contained in the uniqueness of the film’s story.

After several twists and turns, the newly sentient Chappie falls under what can only be described as the parental care of characters played by ¥o-Landi Vi$$er and Ninja of the rave-rap trio Die Antwoord, basically portraying themselves. The two of them and their friend Amerika are on the clock to make a payment to a crime lord, Hippo. They manage to convince the remarkably docile automaton to help them pull off heists to do so. At the same time, they provide him with an education on what it means to be creative and to think for one’s self, as much as they’re able to.

From this brief description of the film’s rather complicated plot, it can easily be inferred that Chappie is about, among other things, the grey areas in how a robot, which here starts off as a kind of tabula rasa, may be influenced, used for ill-gotten gains, etc. But it also touches on something really interesting that I’ve never seen explored so much in a film about a robot. This is Chappie’s reaction to his own misjudgements, particularly his over-doing his “punishment” of the people that his burgeoning consciousness thinks deserve it. The treatment of this idea is so nuanced that the scenes of thrashing violence where it is represented might not seem so cerebral. A clear example would be Chappie’s remorsefully saying “I’m sorry” to a guy he has beaten up in one of the film’s many battle scenes after realizing he wasn’t one of the bad guys—the emotionality of Chappie’s voice really does almost seem human, and this is why I think these are some of the more compelling scenes in the film.

In addition to this and the other philosophical ideas Chappie brings to the fore about robot consciousness, it’s a totally enjoyable film to watch. Jose Padilha’s RoboCop, to make a

comparison in this respect, is a thrilling movie to watch but is, like the original RoboCop, a pretty brawny affair without a lot of intellectual substance. So I think Chappie does successfully manage the balancing act of being a smart artificial-intelligence story and a raucous entertainment movie. Another reason for this is that Blomkamp has dispensed for the most part with his verité technique from District 9 here, which allows the film to play out as a more conventional thriller.

On the negative side, I think that some people may find some of the scenes of Chappie’s upbringing and the final scenes a bit too melodramatic, and the plot a bit convoluted at times.

However, if you already appreciate Die Antwoord’s music, the movie is, to put it bluntly, about ten times better than it would be otherwise. Some songs from their albums as well as another subtly brilliant score from Hans Zimmer thread everything together quite nicely.

Chappie is a fascinating technological tale—and as such it’s in a tradition of the best films about quirky robots and robot consciousness, such as the old classic Tobor the Great and of course Wall∙E. So if you’re at all interested in movies about robots, I would recommend Chappie highly.

To watch Chappie Trailer use this QR code

ARTS

Started From Toronto, Now We Here

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The time is “6” here and everywhere Regan McNeil|Staff Writer Did Drake put Toronto on the map? The simple answer to the question would be yes.

This could be in part because I grew up in the Wonder Bread suburbs (just a train ride from the city), but the “6” was never a thing until Drake made it one. Lo and behold, Toronto just got a lot more sensational because now it seems like everybody wants to go “running through the six” with their “woes” alongside their new “6 God”.

You will probably only understand the above references if you are familiar with Drake’s most recent release, a surprise mixtape: "If You’re Reading This It’s Too Late". Even if you are not, social media has likely bombarded you with memes that look awfully similar to Drake’s album art but instead say things like, “If You’re Reading This You’re Gay” or “Tyga Get Kylie Home By Ten-Thirty”. Basically, Drake’s celebrated arrogance (or something related to it) is bound to end up in your view, whether on your Instagram account or on that hip person’s OVO hat.

In this day and age of music, success means selling 500,000 copies of your album in a week and matching records set by the Beatles. Of course Drake did both of these things with 14 tracks on the top Billboard 100 at the same time, ten of which come from If You’re

Reading This It’s Too Late.

"It’s not to say that If You’re Reading This It’s Too Late" is as monumental an album as “Enter The Wu-Tang: 36 Chambers” but maybe one day it will be.

When I look back on the trajectory of Drake’s albums, they all reflect his evolution into a stereotypical rapper; this one is primarily concerned with “the appropriation of women and money”. "If You’re Reading This Too Late "lacks the cohesiveness that, say, "Take Care" and "Nothing Was The Same" maintain, yet each track embodies an element of confidence that Drake surely gained when he lost his proverbial innocence.

Even though "If You’re Reading This It’s Too Late" is Drake’s testament to his own success, you have to remember that his music is not the sole reason for his wealth and notoriety.

The Weeknd, Majid Jordan, and unfortunately PartyNextDoor all exist because of Drake’s self-created brand and record label, OVO (October’s Very Own).

What surprises me the most is how many people are literally buying into this. If you go to the OVO online shop you will see that almost everything is sold out. (However, any of these items could be available at Drake’s flagship store located on Queen and Dundas). People are branding themselves with sweaters that say

“October” across the front, glorifying the birth month of a 28 year old rapper from Forest Hill.

Not to mention the OVO Sound Festival has been running annually for 4 years and this year is set to receive a $300,000 grant from Ontario's Ministry of Tourism, Culture and Sport. This is more than what the Royal Agricultural Winter Fair receives and $20,000 more than the Beaches Jazz Festival, which brings to Toronto $65,000,000 annually.

So what does this all mean? Drake’s

branding proves itself to be an infallible cause for the government to cash in on. As Drake tells his mom in “You and the 6”, “I sing a hook they sing along”.

It could be that some Torontonians like Drake because he gives the GTA’s hip-hop “scene” a voice—lyrically and figuratively.

Perhaps the rest of the world is consumed in his ever expanding ego. Whether you are a fan of Drake or not, riddle me this: would you prefer Kardinal Offishall as Toronto’s most renowned hip-hop representative?

6

What the Hell is SMCSU?

John Castellarin | Living Editor

THE PANEL:

If you’re a member of St. Mike’s or are familiar with it in any capacity, there’s a very good chance you’ve heard of SMCSU. There’s also a good chance you don’t have the full picture of the role they play at SMC. To solve this, five standing members of council, Kevin Gallardo, Melanie Yu, Christopher Grossi, Joseph Crimi, and Zach Nixon, were assembled to discuss SMCSU as a whole, as well as talk about their individual duties and personal experiences on council.

Who is SMCSU? Christopher Grossi Religious and Community affairs commissioner, 2nd year on SMCSU 4th year majoring in history and international relations

SMCSU is the St. Michael’s College Student Union and is comprised of 20 SMC students who are elected and agree to undertake a series of obligations to ensure its mandates are met. Elections are held twice each year, in the Spring and Autumn. The upcoming Spring elections are held to pick 15 members who will run SMCSU’s various commissions. Once the student body has chosen who will be on council, SMCSU holds an internal election to determine who will run each commission. The remaining five positions are filled in the Autumn, and consist of general councillors who don’t serve on a single commission but rather, as their title suggests, assist with multiple commissions and as a result get a comprehensive feel of life on council.

What is SMCSU? Zach Nixon Double Blue Officer, 1st year on SMCSU 1st year undeclared

As stated in its constitution, SMCSU exists “to effectively represent the interests of its members within the University of St. Michael’s College and the University of Toronto as a whole”. In addition, it aims to enhance the quality of student life at the college, sponsor activities, and maintain the college’s Catholic identity. Council aims to achieve these goals by holding events and implementing changes around SMC (for example, the glass study room in Brennan). Beyond the parties and formal organized by Zach and Joseph, SMCSU really has a hand in everything that happens at St. Mike’s. For example, as the Student Education and Government commissioner, Melanie is the liai-

Nominations

3 $ 500 SCHOLARSHIPS Kevin Gallardo Athletics Commissioner, 1st year on SMCSU 4th year majoring in psychology and sociology

APPLy BY MARCH 18 @ 6P.M smcsuwebsite.wix.com/springelection

March 3-13 @ 6 P.M.

CANDIDATES' FORUM MARCH 25@5:30 P.M. Election

March 26 @Midnight MArch 29@5p.M.

7 son between all SMC clubs and the student body making sure that clubs are appropriately recognized and receive the perks that come along with that (E.g. SMCSU helping promote events). The Student Education and Government commission is also responsible for the three $500 scholarships SMCSU is giving this year.

Another great example of SMCSU at work is the Super Smash Bros. tournament organized by Chris and Religious and Community Affairs to raise money for charity.

Why does SMCSU exist?

In addition to existing to achieve certain objectives, SMCSU also exists because students want to be a part of it and in order to continuously improve the student experience at St. Mikes. Of the five people I spoke to, all have either been on council for more than one year or are planning on running again in the upcoming election. When asked why they enjoyed being part of council, the answers were wide-ranging.

The satisfaction associated with seeing your ideas implemented, meeting lots of people from a variety of backgrounds, the ability to grow as a person who can take on additional responsibilities, and the smiles you get when you give students free pancakes were just a few of the things the group mentioned. Students are largely autonomous with little administrative influence but are held accountable via the constitution and can be removed if they don’t meet their obligations. With that in mind it’s important to know that, to be successful on council, you need to have a passion for what you’re doing, and you need to be committed do doing a good job.

How can you become a part of SMCSU? The obvious answer is to run in the election, but there are many other ways to get a taste of council. In addition to the elected positions, there are also paid positions including the Chief Returning Officer who runs elections, the webmaster who runs SMCSU’s site, and the speaker and scribe who run meetings and take notes respectively. Council can also appoint an executive assistant who helps the president and vicepresident however necessary. Beyond the formal positions, even volunteering under one of the commissions as a coach for an intramural team or getting involved with the musical are great ways to get exposure to the council. Based on the responses from Kevin, Zach, Chris, Joseph, and Melanie, members of SMCSU love what they do and are would gladly try to find a way for you to get involved. Council members can always be found in the office and are happy to answer questions or assist you in anyway they can.

Religious and Community Affairs

Responsible for inspiring the involvement and awareness of religious life and community services and acts as a liaison between the Chaplaincy of the University of St. Michael's College and the Council

Community LIFE

Plans a variety of social events to encourage participation from all students of St. Mike’s

Finance

Prepares the budget, keeps financial records, and administers funds.

education& government

Prepares the budget, keeps financial records, and administers funds.

Double Blue

Responsible for sponsoring and organizing activities that contribute to the cultural and social life of the members of the Student Union.

ARTS

Responsible for sponsoring and organizing activities that contribute to the cultural and social life of the members of the Student Union.

Joseph Crimi Double Blue Commissioner, 3rd year on SMCSU 3rd year majoring in Sociology

Melanie Yu Education and Government Commissioner, 2nd year on SMCSU 2nd year management specialist

Communications

Promotes and advertises SMCSU events and initiatives through social media and posters

ATHLETICS

Sponsors and organizes activities for students pertaining to athletics and physical fitness

Opinion

8 An Ode to Positivity The art of a life well-lived Anastasyia Maryukova| Staff Writer I am by no means a philosopher, but I do believe that I have a philosophically-oriented mind. I like to think, reflect, and come up with my own theories about the world.

For this profound inclination, I thank my most trusted and most wise confidante: my Mom. Many nights, after the completion of our daily tasks and settling in after our usual rush, we, like Socrates and his interlocutors, begin to talk about life. To be honest, I live for these moments. They make me realize what truly matters in life. They give me hope and inspire me to blossom into the best person I can possibly be.

My philosophy, formed by these life-affirming dialogues, amounts

to this: living is an art form in itself.

Instead of drawing a painting with watercolours, we paint our lives with our feelings, emotions, and thoughts.

There is a famous saying: change your thoughts and you can change your world. I wholeheartedly agree.

I strongly believe that the attitude we show the world has a direct influence on our lives. It affects how we feel, how we think, and ultimately how we act. I am an avid proponent of standing emotionally available in front of the world, with an open mind and heart. I embrace unquestioned positivity as my philosophy of life.

However, I admit: it took me a long time to attain this unfaltering attitude.

After all, I am only human and when something does not go my way and throws my life out of balance, I customarily register this unfortunate occurrence as undesirable and

hindering, and I struggle to maintain a positive demeanour.

I confessed to my Mom in one of our dialogues that I liked structuring my life according to my aspirations, hopes and plans. I passionately constructed vivid scenarios in my mind, where all my dreams came true. I told my Mom these secret longings gave my life meaning and they made me feel alive. I also confessed that when they didn’t materialize, I couldn’t help but feel disappointed, even sad.

To this, she replied: I think it is only natural and it is common to us all. If you were to ask anyone how they feel when his or her plans don’t work out, they will most likely feel the same way you do. It is a natural human reaction that reminds us how challenging it is to feel out of control and powerless, in a way. However, I

also believe we can regain some of that power and turn this potentially disappointing experience around. I think in order to do that; we need to forego a divided schema for reading the world. If you think about it, you essentially resort to classification: when your ideal comes to life, you think ‘this is good’ and when it doesn’t, you can’t help but think ‘this is really bad’. You unintentionally subject your happiness to your expectations and you ultimately run the risk of taking more from life than you are willing to give. You forget to be grateful and this takes away your wonder and joy.

This was a defining moment for me. I’ve never realized that by expecting too much from the world, I’ve forgotten to give back, act out of kindness for no particular reason.

By building my life around my plans, I’ve forgotten to take pleasure in

the simpler things and ordinary moments, poignant with beauty and life. Every morning the sun rises over the earth, and it blesses us with a new day and a new beginning.

Every day is a new adventure, filled with meaningful lessons, unexpected surprises and endless opportunities to dream another dream. I’ve realized that without knowing, I‘ve forgotten to be grateful for life.

Ultimately, there are no ‘good’ or ‘bad’ events happening in our life; we must forget to draw that distinction.

What life gives us, regardless of the form, is a gift and blessing, a call to contribute to a better and brighter world. Whether your dreams come true or whether your luck strikes out, the end result is essentially always the same: we grow and we get a chance to be better, and this is the art of living a life.

Boko Haram Allegedly Allies with ISIS Islamic terrorist group's allegiance with ISIS causes increased concerns for Nigeria Saad Shah | Staff Writer Recent news of Boko Haram joining forces with ISIS has shocked governments worldwide.

ISIS has already issued multiple threats in the past towards the Western NATO allies, and now with Boko Haram allegedly joining forces with ISIS, their sphere of influence has expanded. The reasons why Boko Haram is looking east for a partner are complex, but analyzing their historical development and recent terroristic activities can provide a very good estimate of why Boko Haram is seeking partnership with ISIS. Boko Haram is an Islamist militant group which has launched a campaign of widespread violence in Nigeria. The words Boko Haram mean “Western education is sin” in the local dialect of Hausa. While not official, the Nigerian government has been in a state of civil war with Boko Haram since the militia's founding in 2002. However, Nigeria has a long history of fundamentalist militancy dating back to the 1970s with the Islamist militancy group Yan Tatsine. Boko Haram's main goals include overthrowing the Nigerian government and stricter application of the Shariah law, although their streak of violence and killings completely defies the religious teachings of Islam. Since they have not been successful thus far in gaining control of Nigeria, they are looking towards ISIS for support .

While within Nigeria, Boko Haram has committed serious crimes against humanity: the kidnapping of 200 girls in April 2014 who are still reported missing, the kidnapping and forced marriage with Boko Haram militants of Christian women in November 2014, and multiple executions and kidnappings that have been depicted on dozens of released tapes.

Their leaders have also established some soft power control over the populace of Northern

Nigeria. Although the orthern populace mostly abhors the violence, there is considerable local sympathy and support for Sharia law, which is seen by many as the only way to end a corrupt and inept government. Poverty is prevalent in the northern region, and as the military struggles to halt Boko Haram's attacks, the militant group is winning perhaps its most important battle: making Nigerians question government competency.

gain guidance from ISIS in media control and propaganda. Due to their limited scope of operations, they have been somewhat of an outcast in the Jihadi community, but with ISIS’s affiliation they can possibly expand their reign of terror in Northern Nigeria. In a more immediate perspective, the two branches of Boko Haram—the Ansaru faction and the faction led by Shekau—have come together and have offered to accept ISIS leadership.

Another reason why Boko Haram is joining ISIS is the increase in legitimacy, which will help its recruiting, funding and logistics as it expands into West Africa. They will also

While avoiding over-speculation, it can still be reasonably said that if Boko Haram joins forces with ISIS, Nigeria will require even more international assistance in facing the

terrorist group. This will effectively open up a second front for the NATO allies against ISIS. It is essential that the NATO allies, including Canada, should gear up for possible conflict and intervention to protect human rights and uphold democracy in the region.

Opinion

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Thoughts on the T.A. Strike Weighing in on the Issue Melissa Morgado| Opinions Editor

As a fourth-year undergraduate student at UofT, the ongoing labour strike is a concern for the completion of my degree. As someone who has completed minor TA work in the past, I also sympathize with the members of CUPE 3902. I imagine this conflict is even more pronounced for the union members who love both their job and this university, but need to be practical to address financial needs.

It’s no small wonder that a career in academia appears less realistic as years go by, given how expensive it is to pursue a post-grad degree and how difficult job security is to find. I’ve seen the word “tenure” thrown around in academic circles as the Golden Grail, even when recent student surveys appear to rate tenured and nontenured levels of teaching to be essentially of the same value. According to publicly-posted financial figures, TAs seem to get the shortest stick of all.

First and foremost, this university is committed to encouraging higher learning.

This task includes providing an incentive for students to continue learning after their bachelor’s degree is complete. Despite the strong allure of delaying real life for a few more years, students generally realize that pursuing another degree costs a lot of money. For students who want to work in academia, what kind of message is there to be gained from the strike? Why risk spending thousands of dollars when universities are hiring more and more

professors on year-long contracts and refusing to adjust wages for postgrad students?

In order for universities to continue producing top-quality students that contribute to important research in their prospective careers, there must be academics that are willing to teach these students. There must also be a reasonable way for these students to pursue their degree and still be able to afford rent.

Appeals to underfunding by the provincial government are probably true and understandable; however, comparing the hefty

salaries of the top-paid administration to those of the TAs that hardly reach the poverty line is very telling for a university that claimed millions of dollars in surplus this year. If U of T wants to attract talented instructors, I don’t imagine such an alarming lack of job security is any strong motivation at all.

standing, and producing successful students requires actual teaching to occur. With that in mind, here’s hoping CUPE 3902 and U of T can bargain this out as quickly and fairly as possible so undergraduates caught in the crossfire can breathe safely again.

Regardless of financial difficulties and other inconveniences, a university should always respect and support its students because education is and should be the core of this institution. Successful students are significant components of this university’s academic

An Examined Life

Commending Perpetual Students Anastasyia Maryukova| Staff Writer Socrates, one the greatest thinkers of all time, once strongly remarked: “The unexamined life is not worth living”. I took a philosophy class last year, and I distinctly remember highlighting and then transcribing this compelling quote. Several months later, I came across it and tried to pinpoint what exactly appealed to me. As a student, I identified with it closely. This quote legitimized my scholarly aspirations.

It opened my eyes to the nobility of my career, and encouraged me to persevere. It was a blessing.

While someone’s status as a student may not always imply a strong love of knowledge, in my case, it truly does. In fact, I can’t divorce being a student from an ardent pursuit of knowledge to this day. For me, it is more than just studying, writing essays, and getting grades; I view my work as my destiny. It complements my life in profound ways.

Socrates is one of my favorite philosophers for a reason. I feel that his voice of wisdom speaks to me

from that faraway world of Ancient Greece, instructing me to make the most of my life, here and now. It is a voice of understanding and solidarity. It is a voice of a kindred spirit. I wholeheartedly commend Socrates’ dedication to learning and a relentless pursuit of wisdom. He truly lived his truth. Sitting in the library and writing these words, I follow him.

I think there are many things of lasting import, and education is one of them. No one can truly object to the validity of education in our society and daily life, but it takes special commitment to wholly invest in its pursuit. Almost everyone gets through high school; many people go on to college or university, receiving diplomas and bachelor's degrees.

Some receive their master's, and a few their PhDs. and post-docs. I truly applaud those deciding to go all the way. They are my role models.

I think they are ambitious, hardworking and determined. In fact, I want to be like them.

I’d like to clarify that I am not solely speaking about concrete evidence of

postsecondary education—a list of degrees next to a person’s name. In actuality, I am including perpetual students and avid learners who never get tired of educating themselves. I confess: I belong to this category.

Presently, I am about to receive one degree—my bachelor’s—but I’ve been in school for years, and I plan to stay on.

Learning is simply something I love. It is my innate inclination, the air I breathe. I love studying. I love expanding my mind. I love perusing, contemplating, and deconstructing. I welcome difficult texts and I rejoice when I master them. I like revising my work and polishing it to the level of competency. I take pleasure in late nights and early mornings spent in academic pursuit. I can’t imagine my life without all of these things. The act of constant learning makes my life interesting and full of meaning.

I enjoy learning new complex concepts, theories, and perspectives.

I greatly value a challenge, and I look for ways to apply my knowledge in my day-to-day life. It’s a perpetual cycle of joy, wonder, and reward.

Being a student defines me. It forms my identity. When people ask me what I do for a living—the question I often dread answering because of its immediate association with manual labor in my age—I tell people that I am a university student with the intention of getting my Master’s and PhD. I consider it as my full-time position, my walk of life. Some people commend me, congratulating me on doing what I love, living out my dream. I immensely appreciate this response.

Yet, there are also others who think I’m crazy, labeling me a "perpetual student", urging me to finish already.

I smile and let it pass. After all, I get to decide how to live the life that I so passionately planned. I know what my heart wants. I am staying true to myself. When in doubt, I turn to the person of unfaltering convictions: Socrates himself.

If you ask me, “perpetual student” is an honorable characteristic. It suggests enthusiasm and hard work.

It fights against ignorance and exalts knowledge. It lifts our society up. It makes a difference. I’m blessed to be part of this greater cause. Education

is truly the door to the future. It equips us with power to consciously shape our lives, make informed choices and grow. By bettering ourselves, we contribute to a better, more enlightened world.

LIVING

1010 Life With A Man Bun Undoing a capillary trend John Castellarin|Living Editor

For the last couple years, the man bun has become a phenomenon in men’s style. They’ve become so popular that an Instagram account called manbunmonday has over 82,000 followers.

As someone who’s jumped on the man bun wave, I’ve realized there are downsides to the style that I didn’t expect when I committed to growing out my hair.

The first is, I didn’t anticipate how human beings can’t help but touch my bun. I don’t know if people think that if they rub it a genie’s going to appear, but apparently they can’t resist. As someone who doesn’t want his personal space invaded, I have to say I wish my hairdresser had warned me about what I was getting myself in to. Had I known people would greet me by pulling my hair now instead of shaking my hand, I would have thought twice.

A second issue I have with this hairstyle is the assumptions people make about me. If I had a dollar for every person who thought I was a barista or ate gluten-free, I’d probably have enough money to buy hair ties for the rest of my life. No, I’m not a hipster. I wish I was, but I just can’t commit to listening to music only on vinyl. Everyone also seems to think I’m an undercover samurai, but I doubt they’re entirely convinced because I’ve yet to garner samurai level respect.

Overall, I think people should get to know me before assuming I only drink Guinness when I go to the bar. Guinness does happen to be my favourite, but that’s because I’m Irish, not because I have the same haircut as a sales associate at Urban Outfitters.

Lastly, and definitely my biggest beef with the man bun, is apparently it doesn’t help you make more friends. I could have sworn someone told me having a man bun makes you cool, but based on the fact that I got my lunch money stolen by a high school kid last week, I think I’m still a nerd.

As it turns out, a fancy haircut doesn’t make up for a lousy personality. Who would’ve thought?

Not Optional

Instagram rules to make the world a better place John Castellarin|Living Editor There are a lot of social media apps, but I think the overwhelming favourite (or maybe just my favourite) is Instagram. The combination of pictures and short videos is easy for our minds to process and, thus far, people’s feeds haven’t been subjected to the same trash as Facebook and Twitter. However, like its social media cousins, there are also rules that apply to Instagram. There are the obvious ones, like don’t put up pictures of you smoking illegal substances, which a surprising number of people break; but some are more subtle, and thus violated more frequently. Check out the list below of 4 rules to follow that will make Instagram, if not the World, a better place.

1. Don’t post quotes.

No matter how deep you think the quote is, don’t put it up. I’m glad you’re feeling inspired but I really don’t need Instagram to tell me “I’ve got everything it takes but it will take everything I’ve got.” If you’ve got a quote you think is brilliant, put it on Tumblr or tattoo it to your ribs like a civilized human being.

2. Don’t upload a picture to Instagram and immediately make it your profile picture on Facebook.

This is all too common. We get it, after 50 selfie attempts you got a good one, and now you’re so proud of it you put it on Facebook as well. If it’s a selfie, at least move from your bed to a couch or put on a different shirt. If you managed one selfie I’m sure you can pull of a second. Give yourself some credit.

3. Understand that although your niece or nephew is cute, s/he is no cuter

than any other baby.

Just because babies are cute doesn’t mean you should be using them to get likes. This is especially applicable if the child isn’t yours. It’s manipulative and automatically makes you a bad person. A picture here or there is fine, but please, everything in moderation.

4. If you’re at a sporting event, don’t take a picture of the field/ice/court making sure you include the beer your holding.

Wow! You went to a Leafs game and are drinking a beer?! That’s so cool. Contrary to popular belief, you can actually enjoy a beer at the ACC or SkyDome (Rogers Centre if you prefer), without taking a picture of it. Shocking, I know.

LIVING

11

How I Got Off Academic Probation

Or: how I learned to stop worrying and trust myself Christina Bezerra|Staff Writer

I am not ashamed to say that in my first year of university I made my way onto the not-so Dean’s List also known as academic probation. For the first year students who don’t know what it is, it’s pretty common and no it is not the end of the world. Maybe you just didn’t give your all, or you are not adjusted to the university workload. Whatever it is that got you on this list, it is just as easy to get off of it as it was to get on. To be honest, when I got my academic probation letter in first year, it felt like my first heartbreak. One pint of ice cream later and a meeting at the registrar's office and I was set to show my GPA who’s boss.

When you are first placed on probation you are welcomed back into the university with the ultimatum that you must pull up your grade average or you will get the boot. Scary thought, I know. But this is seriously a time for you to prove that you deserve to be at the number one university in Canada. If you find yourself in this position, there’s no need to cry a river like I did, just make an appointment with your college’s registrar. At the registrar someone will help you choose which classes are best for your program. Time management is also a big part of getting focused. Plan your time wisely and recognize maybe going out every night is not the best option.

One of the best pieces of advice I have ever received at U of T was to “do what comes natural to you.” What does this have to do with university? In first year I was so eager to please my professors and TAs that I got lost in academic jargon and forgot my own interest in big words and long-winded essays. I was not being true to myself and my grades proved it. Luckily, I got the right support and was placed on the right track, which was happily away from academic probation. Remember, there are many resources available at your college and at U of T as a whole. Use these resources to your advantage and know that you’re are now on your journey to get off of academic probation, but in the short term I’d highly recommend some cookie dough therapy to ease the pain. Best of luck!

What Does Your Winter Jacket Say About You? John Castellarin|Living Editor Admittedly, for most people, fashion takes a back seat during the winter. It’s cold, dark, and you couldn’t care less about how you look as long as you’re covered and warm. That being said, winter jackets have become your best outlet to show off your sense of style while braving the elements. However, when it comes to winter coats, there are only a handful of major categories, which raises the question: what does your choice of jacket say about you?

COLUMBIA OR OTHER SKI JACKET

You’re pragmatic. You

SNOWBOARD JACKET

CANADA GOOSE

You love Collingwood, You’re cool. Or at least listening to Wiz Khalifa, you think you are. You enjoy having numerous and you hope Santa brings don’t refer to it as a pockets, and the more you some sick gear for jacket but rather a Goose, secret pockets you Christmas. and you always talk have, the better. You’re about how you bought it looking to stay warm and because it was warm but that’s about it. You may not because you wanted consider the colour, but to fit in. This is especially it won’t be the end of the applicable if you have world if it’s not your fave. a bomber. (Note: I have Also the availability of matching snow pants is one and have accepted definitely a plus. that I am guilty of all these claims).

PEACOAT

You’re conscious of style and want to look put together but don’t want to be overly showy. You probably…. no. You definitely wear a scarf and if you smoke, odds are it’s out of a pipe.

MACKAGE

LEATHER JACKET

You're scary and intimiYour motorcycle may dating. You don't wait in be in storage for the line at clubs and when season, but that doesn’t you get Starbucks (where mean you shouldn’t still you're a Gold Member), let people know you you get soy so that you have one. You may also can have a breach body for your Christmas vaca- contract hypothermia but that only further proves tion to Cabo. you’re a renegade bad ass who doesn’t follow the rules

12 Mysterium Louis Train|Editor-in-Chief In the final stages of preparing this issue, minutes before we sent it off to print, Design Manager Salena Barry and I noticed something odd: The Roman numerals on our last published issue were LXV (65) and the same on the previous issue, but investigating further, we found that an October, 2013 issue was numbered LXIV (64), a January 2013 issue was LXVII (67), and September, 1996 was L (50).

Why? It would make sense that volume 50 was published in 1996–our 50th year–but there's little sense in any of the numbering after that. Why is January, 2013 greater than October, 2013? And, more importantly: What volume should we be on now?!

If you have any information, please contact editorinchief@readthemike.com

We Clean Up Well

As a part of our restructuring effort, we cleaned (read: are still in the process of cleaning) out our office. Here are a few choice photographs of some of the treasures left behind by The Mike staff and past and present.

SNES Zapper c.1985

Crucifixes, crayons, tickets, and a locked box in a wooden crate

Photography Copyediting News Design Opinions Arts

are the new black write or edit for us

WANT US TO FEATURE YOUR ART? SEND POEMS, PHOTOS, AND DRAWINGS TO ARTS@READTHEMIKE.COM

A botched (or forgotten) science fair project–an upside down beaker, some scotch tape, and a syringe