The Mike, Issue 3 (2016-17)

THE MIKE WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 2, 2016 - ISSUE 3

WHEN THE MIND TURNS Bipolar I: A Case Study

EDITORIAL

2 LETTER FROM THE EDITOR...

“Cold, yet bearable.” This description, while technically in reference to the weather can also be applied to the state of the academic year at this point.

We’re a month away from the formal end of term and with it comes a slew of deadlines, committments and of course, personal responsibilities, now that the holidays are in reach. What is mid-term season anyway? First and fourth years alike have asked me this question and I can’t say I have the answer. Still, as any social science student knows, “it’s all relative”: which, while a buzzword go-around, can nonetheless get you by.

Having said that, there’s a lot to be pleased with too! It’s my hope that you’re now settled in your coursework and have made some headway on finding what you enjoy. Alternatively, discovering what you don;t enjoy is also progress and as such, it’s just as important in the grand scheme of things.

This is the third issue of the year and there are still new and shiny features that The Mike has in the works and the Masthead is very excited to share them. November unfairly earns the rap of being the “same old, same old” point of the fall semester, but The Mike, in its small way, is trying to change that perception. I know other groups on-campus are also devoting time and energy to organizing programming that keeps the student body’s blues at bay and provides students with worthwhile opportunities between classes.

Above all, it’s important for us to take breaks for our own well-being. That all-night might seem like the simplest and most effective way to clear out your anxieties but it’s important we don’t take those routes at the expense of our health.

If you get the chance, check out Josh’s feature on pages 6 and 7: it explores mental illness and describes the plight of one of our peers. It tells a story that, while more common than you’d think, isn’t told enough We hope that there’s something for everyone here. This month, and beyond, prioritize yourself.

Anah Mirza EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

NOTE FROM THE FAITH & THOUGHT EDITOR It is futile to attempt to look up an exact definition of the word Faith, because it is by default one of the most abstract concepts of our lives. It is more malleable than Play-Doh and exists in as many forms as there are creatures and objects.

As part of a Catholic university, and more importantly, as scholars, we are constantly prompted to evaluate, reflect, and redefine how we see ourselves and the world around us. Whether it be through the lens of an organized religion, the philosophies of the Ancients, or even through pop culture, we all access the world and construe a sense of purpose and belonging. It is through Thought that we approach any form of Faith. It thus becomes vital that this section of our newspaper instigate more than a nod of approval. This year, the Faith and Thought section of The Mike will welcome the diverse approaches to Faith that exist in our world. We are looking for articles that will stand out and get people thinking more deeply and critically about what it means to say “Faith”. Friends and colleagues, take a leap of Faith: submit an article.

THE MIKE MASTHEAD 2016-2017 EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

MANAGING EDITOR

BUSINESS MANAGER

Ms. Anah Mirza editorinchief@readthemike.com

Ms. Elizaveta Mironova managingeditor@readthemike.com

Mr. Zia Faisal business@readthemike.com

FAITH & THOUGHT EDITOR

OPINIONS EDITOR

ARTS EDITOR

Ms. Farah Rasmi faith@readthemike.com

Ms. Garnet Ryu opinions@readthemike.com

Mr. Liam McConnell arts@readthemike.com

SPORTS EDITOR

LIVING EDITOR

DESIGN MANAGER

Mr. Josh Scott sports@readthemike.com

Ms. Jennifer Bueno living@readthemike.com

Ms. Yurie Kaku

COPY EDITOR

COPY EDITOR

PHOTOGRAPHY EDITOR

Ms. Marianne A. Kalaczynski

Ms. Daniela Solimine

Vacant

OPINIONS

are the new Black.

Write/edit for us! Email: editorinchief@readthemike.com The Mike is the official bi-weekly student newspaper of St. Michael’s College in the University of Toronto, publishing since 1947. The Mike has a circulation of 2000, delivered to over 40 newsstands across the University of Toronto, St. George Campus. The Mike is published by The Mike Publications Inc. and printed by MasterWeb Inc. on recycled newsprint stock. The Mike is a member of Canadian University Press. Copyright: 2016, The Mike Publications Inc. All Rights Reserved. All editorial inquires should be sent to editorinchief@readthemike.com. The Mike reserves the right to edit all submissions.

LIVING

The Mirror In Our Brains

3

What mirror neurons are, and what they can do Jennifer Bueno LIVING EDITOR Neurons are specialized nerve cells that transmit information in the form of nerve impulses to other parts of the body. Mirror neurons are a type of motor neuron that are found predominately in the premotor cortex located within the frontal lobe of the brain. Recent research has discovered that these neurons could be the potential cause or at least a key component in explaining the reason why humans are capable of self-awareness, and the collective consciousness that unifies a community. Collective consciousness comprising of our shared beliefs, ideas and attitudes that make up society.

As a species, humans are social creatures and our success thus far is largely due to our ability to communicate. We can speak, understand, and work together whichmeans that humans have the capacity to comprehend intentions and empathize with the internal experiences of other organisms. This capacity implies that a set of social skills and natural order for communication exists, which means a network of wellwired neurobiological processes must occur. The best explanation that currently exists is that the mirror neurons in our brain create a reflection (nerve impulses) that represents what is observed from others, whether that’s a mental state or physical action. This explains why being in the presence of someone depressed or overly excited can affect your mood.

You observe their mental state, and your mirror neurons activate the same centers in your brain. The only drawback to this process is that compared to observation, our ability to sense and perceive is greatly lacking. And because of this, humans are prone to forming misguided ideas, images or representations of other people. If they don’t see or experience something themselves, some tend to forget or think it doesn’t happen at all.

As mentioned before, mirror neurons are a type of motor neuron, so they have the ability to produce movement by sending nerve impulses. Regarding social skills and natural order for communication, the mirror neurons can explain how we learn linguistically (language) and bodily movements by means of observing others. These neurons allow us to take the experiences of other organisms, understand it (the best we can), and then incorporate it into our own conceptual understanding of the world. These experiences could include simply speaking to someone, watching others perform an activity, reading a book, or watching TV. And understanding the minds of others is accomplished through direct stimulation (emotional reflection and/or physical experience) with some conceptual reasoning for more complex communications. This direct stimulation by mimicking emotional states then creates an emotional connection. It can explain why you feel embarrassed watching someone in an awkward situation, cringe when they make a mistake, grimace when their hurt, or why some things are just funnier when they occur while with a group of people. Some people theorize that by allowing us to feel what others feel, mirror neurons are what make humans capable of empathy, both physically and emotionally. As mirror neurons are apart of how our brains adapt individuals to their environment. Individuals can expand their worldview by paying attention to the behaviours and words of other human beings and learning how they understand the world.

From observing young infants, it can be inferred that there is an innate presence of mirror neurons in the brain as well as a growth of mirror neurons via experience. Young infants demonstrate this by mimicking the facial expressions or actions of adults. This suggests an undeveloped sense of self awareness and awareness of others. And our understanding of others as well as ourselves grows with time and experience. Meaning that mirror neurons are not stagnate they can grow, adapt and change.

As mentioned before, the mental states of others can affect your mood and mirror neurons mimicking emotional states can create an emotional connection. This phenomenon is called Dzemotional contagiondz, a natural process where the mirror neurons in our brain sense and reflect other people’s emotions. On the physical side, there is the Chameleon Effect.

The Chameleon Effect is the unconscious decision to mimic the postures, mannerisms, facial expressions, and certain behaviours of the individuals one regularly interacts with. People have the natural tendency to imitate speech inflections, physical expressions and gestures asthose behaviours are passively and unintentionally integrated into one’s communication skills in order to match others present in their current social environment.

One area of life this affects is autism, and because autism in particular is partially defined by impaired social interaction and communication skills,

researchers have suggested that a dysfunctional mirror neuron system may be the potential cause of the disorder. Another effect is the advantage or disadvantage to mirror neurons; they can be used to predict consumer behaviour. Some people can learn passively through subliminal messages and others enjoy living vicariously through celebrities, fictional characters or just someone on a screen. Naturally, an algorithm can be developed to implement a shift in someone’s behaviour in order to increase profit. Some pieces of literature show that advertisements with actors that actually handle and use the product concerned are more easily learnt and remembered.

And it is through this ingrained familiarity of routine and ritual that people become more likely to purchase the product being advertised by an actor handling it. Physical gestures and other observational queues can also be used to recognize certain mental states because of mirror neurons and the Chameleon Effect. As this concept is hard to prove by experience, considering one can usually observe an emotionally charged person’s face and hands, there have been studies concerning the subject. One suggested that that the mirror neuron network causes emotional recognition because their participants were able to recognize emotions easily through both facial expressions and hand movements. And both facial expressions and hand movements are caused by the premotor cortex, where the mirror neurons are located.

As the mirror neuron network is located closely to areas of the brain that influence both hand movements and mouth action, it has been thought that mirror neurons are involved in our speech production and perception behaviours. This means that speech production and the gesture aspect of communication could be a result ofmirror neurons and motor complexes that trigger movement. The gesture aspect of communication was actually how mirror neurons were first discovered. Researchers were studying brain activity and types of complex grasping by observing Macaque monkeys in 1996. Whenever a researcher executed a grasping motion, certain areas of the brain in the Macaque monkey would activate upon seeing this. The researchers then discovered individual mirror neurons in the Macaque monkey’s premotor cortex. This discovery suggests that the process weuse to understand behaviours of others is similar to how we understand ourselves.

It is thought that mirror neurons are what enable us to be self-aware. By helping us understand what other people experience, we can then begin to look at ourselves from an outsider’s perspective. The same process used to mimic and understand other’s behaviours would be inverted to observe the behaviours of the self. However, it is not entirely clear whether awareness of the self or awareness of others came first naturally. Some believe that because social skills are more essential to survival and success, the ability to read and understand the motivations of others came first, and then selfawareness followed as a result.

The mirror neuron network is a simple yet sophisticated system that enables humans to learn and adapt. From an evolutionary standpoint, it is very logical in that it allows us to observe the past successes and failures of others and then learn from them. Not to mention allowing humans to communicate and form groups inorder to pool strengths while covering weaknesses.

Without mirror neurons, we wouldn’t be able to make connections about the behaviour and intentions of others. This information would need to go through a complicated series of cognitive processes to produce some sort of understanding. Which would be wasting energy and time. Mirror neurons shorten the process quite efficiently by allowing humans to simply mimic the behaviours and mental states of other individuals through observation.

4

This Is Why We Live

ARTS

Wisława Szymborska’s poetry gains physical form M.A. Kalaczynski COPY EDITOR Presented over a four-day schedule, This is Why We Live blends Polish poet and Nobel Prize Winner Wisława Szymborska’s poetry with its interpreted physical form and a free-handed musical composition.

Walking into the small, dimly lit black room at the Theatre Centre, forty guests slowly make their way to their desired seats and already begin to have a feel for the upcoming production as they are greeted with a small, white onion. Remarks scatter through the puzzled guests as they pick theirs up, look at it, and upon finding nothing special about the onion, put it away. (Perhaps this was due to the beautiful cello accompaniment playing from the corner of the stage, wooing the soon-to-be audience into a state of serenity.)

The cellist stops playing as all lights are extinguished and a hush falls upon the audience.

The show had begun. Out of the shadows emerge the two extraordinarily talented actresses who would lead the play, following the rhythmic cello’s song.

glided off of their bodies and echoed through the room in their shadows, each actress bending and curving her body in such a manner as to deem the spoken word unnecessary.

of seriousness, such as when members of the audience were forced to realize that some of them were like the onion too – layered and layered without a real central core to themselves.

It was truly these moments of self-questioning The poetry itself was spoken in English, then in and deep searching within one’s self that made French and finally in Polish. In the beginning, this production successful, as a clear reflection the languages were divided with Hutton of what Szymborska did through her poetry – speaking only English, Monteau only French, posed questions to answers. and the cellist, Dobrochna Zubek, Polish. These language divisions later blurred as the two During the post-show talk after the 8th October actresses switched languages seamlessly and performance, Professor Tamara Trojanowska concluded both in Polish, an homage to the from the University of Toronto’s Department of language in which all of the poetry used within Slavic Languages and Literatures and incoming the production was originally transcribed.

Director of the Centre for Drama, Theatre, and Performance Studies, who “told [the director, Coleen MacPherson] to keep going, keep working [on this production],” summed up the audience’s collective feelings after the play: “[Szymborska] would have been extraordinarily surprised that one could use her poetry of doubt, of constantly shifting perspective, of constant leaning between, of uncertainty, of all about the fact that we exist and the world around us; that you could use [that] poetry in this amazingly and highly energetic physical performance.”

The actresses, Alaine Hutton and Elodie Monteau, were outfitted plainly, with hair parted into two neat buns and white makeup on the top half of their faces. Already a striking difference between The interplay between the spoken languages the two was evident – one was tall and blonde and that of the actresses’ bodies was beyond while the other was shorter and brunette. romantic. The audience was thrust into moments of laughter – for example, when the actresses These contrasts between the two identically were comically remarking their own onion (and dressed actresses were omitted when they began reminding the audience of what met them upon speaking Szymborska’s poetry. That is, the words arriving at their seats) – but also into moments

~This Is Why We Live is a unique international collaboration between Canadian company, Open Heart Surgery Theatre, Tara Arts (UK) and Theatre de L’Enfumeraie (France).

St. Mikes Has Got You Covered

Delving into the SMC sculpture collection Samantha Rose CONTRIBUTOR U of T’s St. George campus features architecture from historically significant castle-esque buildings such as Hart House to modern lecture halls like Isabel Bader Theatre. While the buildings at U of T deserve aesthetic recognition themselves, U ofT also boasts of a multiplicity of art sculptures scattered across campus.

Heading to the corner of St. Joseph’s and Bay Street to grab a bite to eat? Visit the 10-foottall art sculpture Zen West installed on SMC grounds in 1978. Post-war sculptor and Toronto artist Kosso Eloul has the ability to create dynamic art through a technical balancing skill with the use of geometric shapes. Eloul’s piece Zen West—a minimalist sculpture—features rectangular aluminum and stainless steel material centralizing upon the strategic angling of such material, challenging our perception of gravity while transforming open public space.

displays the faces of contemporary and ancient scholars such as Gandhi, Freud, Shakespeare and Einstein, while the other side exhibits fluid movement of faces and body language.

creative depiction of scholarly and influential figures serves as a model of inspiration to students across campus. “ The other side in this artist’s report on the inside of our Library... [he] has reached the people whose books guarantee them survival. ... Bill has put in conversation men and women who met only in libraries and in the intellects of those who use them. ... Not all the figures are historic — at least not yet. Look carefully and — who knows?

— you may find yourself ” The scenic environment of St. Michael’s quad has metalwork artist Anne Allardyce’s sculpture Michael at its focal-point. The structure was commissioned to commemorate St. Mike’s 125th anniversary in 1978. Allardyce specializes in her use of contour in folding aluminum, and herability to manipulate smooth stainless steel functions to create a composition of illusion.

In a comment on the symbolism and interpretation, St. Mike’s philosopher Reverend Edward A. Synan noted in the U of T Bulletin: “There are people outside and inside the Library, all of them gratifyingly different... Some hurry by and will never go in... Some will go in, but why hurry? Stand around and talk awhile. After you are in, ideas, facts, perspectives, are all hard to As midterm season approaches, Kelly Library come by. One side of Bill’s sculpture says this and Sculpture — as with any art form — is open to is a go-to for the comfy couches. During a much more.” subjective interpretation. While on campus, study break or on your way inside you’ll notice taking the time to channel your thoughts and Hamilton born artist William McElcheran’s The sculpture connects the viewer to a dual art insights as to various creative sculptures can help sculpture Untitled—made of stained plastic and form, with two representations of content to you focus and relax during the intense academic fiberglass in 1973. On one side, the structure engage with their surroundings. McElcheran’s year.

ARTS

5

Colour and the Cosmos Chihuly at the ROM

Laina Southgate CONTRIBUTOR Internationally acclaimed Dale Chihuly is an American sculptor who has utterly mastered the art of glassblowing. Venetian trained, Chihuly uses the transparent qualities of ice, water, glass, and neon to create multidimensional art pieces that speak to the viewer. His art installations are site specific, which is why the eleven pieces at the ROM are so unique. Chihuly brings to the exhibit over forty years of experience and international notoriety which is reflected in his art. Unlike other art exhibits, CHIHULY at the ROM actively encourages photography as a way to further the immersive experience. There are eleven works in total, but three are particularly striking: “Boats,”“Red Reeds on Logs” and “Persian Ceiling.”

I turn a corner and am confronted with “Red Reed on Logs.” Arguably a transition piece in the exhibit, the colour red is as visually arresting as the imagery of fallen birch trees. Instead of contemplating the universe and my place in it, I am instead moved by the violence portrayed by the fallen trees and red spears shooting upward. The evocation of blood and violence is delightfully jarring.

The centre of the exhibition is undoubtedly “Persian Ceiling.” Cushions invited me to lie on the floor and observe the piece, which is arranged overhead. The art felt alive, which speaks to Chihuly’s skill as an artist. After

“Boats” is a stunning example of Chihuly’s grasp of the cosmic. There are two boats, the first of which is filled to the gunnels with spheres of varying sizes and colours. The spheres look like a multitude of planets which fill and tumble out of the boat and it is as though Chihuly has created an entire universe out of glass. The second boat continues this theme, except it is explosive with its use of colour. Long purple and blue tendrils

all, glass is notoriously difficult to manipulate. The myriad of colours and textures, in addition to the depth of the glass, creates the illusion of a forest canopy: an ecosystem of overlapping ovular plates and inorganic flora.

Dale Chihuly’s exhibit at the ROM is filled with natural motifs, cosmic undertones, and interactive exhibits. It is clear why he is internationally acclaimed: regardless of the piece, the viewer will find something meaningful to take away. with ends shaped like hands pour out of the sides. The mundane imagery of CHIHULY has recently been extended until January 8, 2017 due to its fishing boats and float balls is juxtaposed with cosmic undertones: perhaps popularity, so there is still plenty of time for you to visit and, like I did, a commentary on the uncontrollable nature of existence. derive meaning from this beautiful exhibit.

Bedtime Story Fiction

Stewart Peter Telford CONTRIBUTOR “Why didn’t you tell me all of this before?”

“It’s none of your business, Jonathan.”

“But she’s my kid too!”

“Oh, is she? Is she your child now?”

“Allie, stop it.”

“Suddenly you’re what, father of the year?”

“Well, no but—” “Take the kid, I don’t want her.”

“You know I didn’t mean that.”

“She was your idea anyway.”

“Mommy?”

“Mommy’s okay, sweetie. Go back to sleep.”

“Who’s here?”

“Just Mommy’s friend, baby. Go back to bed. Big day tomorrow. Goodnight, Julie.”

“Goodnight, Mommy. I love you.”

“I love you, pumpkin.”

“Tomorrow?! It’s tomorrow?! When were you planning on telling me this?”

“I’m not obligated to tell you a thing anymore!”

“Please, just take a minute to think about this!” “ It’s been a year, Jonathan. I’ve thought plenty.” “ Allison, I just needed to grow up a little. Okay? I had problems then. I’m different now.”

“You forgot to use your mouthwash this time.

Did you realize that? You reek of hooch.”

“Shit.”

“You know what? We’re actually lucky. She was so young when you jumped ship that she doesn’t even remember your face anymore. She saw a picture of us together last month and asked me who you were.”

“A picture of us?”

“I guess I forgot to throw it away.”

“Oh...”

“Daniel is meeting us the airport in the morning.

She calls him Dad now.”

“Dad...”

“When she asks about you, maybe in ten years or more, I’ll tell her the truth. But that’s all I can give you. It’s more than you deserve.”

“Allison, please, just give me something. Let me at least say goodbye before you take her away from me!”

“You took yourself away!”

“That was wrong, I know.” “ You don’t have to tell me that.”

“I’m her father, she needs a Daddy!”

“She has one! She has everything she needs.”

“Just let me see her.”

“I’m not allowing a stranger around my child at nighttime.”

“Mommy?”

“There are so many things I would say to you,

John. I’ve wanted to hurt you. But I’m not like that. I’m not like you. I have control. I have selfrespect!”

“Mommy, I can’t sleep.”

“We’re keeping my daughter awake. You should go.”

“But, I can’t just... leave...”

“Just go. Here, don’t forget your wallet again.”

“Can you read me a story? Can I have Goodnight Moon?”

“Maybe another night, baby.”

“I gave her that one.”

“I remember. Goodbye.”

“Allie, just let me say—” “I said goodbye.”

“Okay, goodbye, I guess.”

“Please, Mommy? It’s my favourite story.”

“John, wait.” “ For what, Allison?”

“Julie?”

“Yes, Mommy?”

“Would you like Mommy’s friend to read you Goodnight Moon?”

“Yay!” “Make it quick, John.”

When the Mind Turns Bipolar I: A Case Study

Josh Scott SPORTS EDITOR & Kate Dockeray PHOTOGRAPHER

“Earlier Dan said to me what are you on I want some and I’m like OMG no you don’t this is f***ing torture but actually I just said no” – writes Cadie, mid-manic episode.

Cadie is a second-year student at the University of Toronto. She has

courageously chosen to share her story in the hopes that it will raise awareness of and about her condition. Should it make even a single person feel a little less alone, she’ll consider it a bonus. Remarkably sweet, bright, and strong beyond her years, Cadie was diagnosed with bipolar disorder type I—for short, bipolar I—in 2015. However, as you might already suspect, it wasn’t as simple as that.

Cadie, of course, is her name for sake of anonymity. It’s an homage to the daring Aussie doctor John Cade, whose 1949 kitchen experiments are credited with having revived the use of lithium in psychiatry—lithium being the mood stabilizing wonder-drug that has allowed her to balance her emotions and by extension, her life.

Cadie first knew she was different in grade 7. She recalls a conversation in which a friend recounted having overcome a fear through sharing her feelings with someone she trusted. While the ability to do so might have come naturally to the friend, it never has for Cadie. Even now, she finds it incredibly difficult to talk about her feelings.

She describes having felt that, since “nothing bad” had happened to her, she “didn’t deserve help.”

One of the most harrowing and informative accounts of a life lived with bipolar disorder, is Dr. Kay Redfield Jamison’s breathtaking memoir An Unquiet Mind. Jamison writes on bipolar disorder from perspectives both clinical and personal—she herself has contended with the illness from the age of 17.

It is a sad truth that people are often too caught up in their own lives to notice when others are hurting. As Dr. Jamison keenly observes, this is especially true when those hurting make efforts to disguise their pain. She had been led, by a variety of factors, to believe that people were supposed to keep their problems to themselves.

Cadie’s full diagnostic history is long and convoluted.

In 2011, following a straining overseas exchange, she was diagnosed with anxiety and prescribed anti-anxiety medication. In 2013, she was diagnosed with milddepression—something she believes herself to have suffered with for years—taken off her anti-anxiety medication and prescribed anti-depressants. In 2015, she was diagnosed as bipolar, taken off anti-depressants, and prescribed mood stabilizers.

Once told by an oblivious doctor that she was “damaged”, Cadie recalls wishing at the time, that she “had a broken bone that could be fixed.”

Bipolar disorder is an “episodic” (that is, recurrent) mood disorder typically made up of three states. These states range from high (mania) to low (depression). Between

high and low, there also exists a middle, so-called “well” state, in which the person may function properly and feel normal. For some, all three states are mixed—these people experience episodes in which symptoms of both mania and depression occur simultaneously. The order and frequency of each is unpredictable.

The bipolar navigate the extremes of the emotional spectrum for what seems like no discernible reason.

Evidence suggests biological, genetic factors are partly to blame. However, it is more than, as some would suggest, a mere imbalance of neurotransmitters (like dopamine or serotonin). Nor is it caused by stress.

Though stress doesn’t cause bipolar disorder, it may trigger manic or depressive episodes in someone who already suffers from it. Triggers can also be chemical: take, for example, anti-depressants.

The issue of medication is also tricky: specifically, finding the proper dosage. As Cadie says, “it can take years to figure out what exact ‘cocktail’ of medications work for a specific patient.” On the part of the patient, a sort of blind faith (in the clinical process of trial-and-error—to this date, the best method) is required.

It is common for bipolar disorder to be mistaken for depression. It’s no stretch to see how—on average, 1 in 6 people will experience depression firsthand. While doctors are correct in diagnosing depression, it often takes time for them to notice that a patient’s depression is actually an aspect of something larger (i.e. bipolar disorder).

You see, one of the main problems with this trial-anderror process is that those with bipolar disorder tend to respond poorly to anti-depressants. Cadie’s depression led to her first and only suicide attempt, the summer following grade 11. For her depression, she was prescribed antidepressants. These anti-depressants triggered an episode of depression in which she displayed psychotic symptoms in 2013—in which she believed that she wasn’t a good person and had hurt everyone around her. This was during grade 12, and caused her to miss six straight weeks of school.

(Might I add that she nonetheless graduated on time and with exceptional marks.)

Other factors are also at play. According to a 2016 study published in the Canadian Journal of Psychiatry from the University of New South Wales there is, on average, a six-year gap between the onset and diagnosis of bipolar disorder.

Though it is gradually becoming more common for teens to be diagnosed with bipolar disorder, historically speaking, it is not uncommon for the signs of bipolar disorder to be mistaken for typical adolescent behaviours. Basically— those suffering are taken as moody teenagers and, as such, their symptoms are discounted or ignored.

Cadie found that, of the people in her cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) group, she was among the youngest. Several were 50-plus, and many shared that they had only recently been diagnosed. One older man told her that bipolar disorder had ruined his life. A large amount of them had received treatment for various other diagnoses, including but not limited to, depression.

We all experience mood swings, to varying degrees. We each attribute different levels of significance to them. Often, they depend on external factors, if social, environmental or otherwise. They can also depend on internal factors— which in turn, tend to concern our own reasoning or decision-making processes. Regardless of whether or not they seem warranted, for most of us, the root cause of these moods is either already apparent or at the very least, easily traceable. Among other things, this ability to recognize the source of our feelings differentiates us from those suffering from bipolar disorder.

Cadie alludes to having felt a basic disconnect during her full-blown manic episode. Imagine this: all of a sudden, everyone around you starts reacting in ways that don’t quite seem to line up with the way you feel you’re acting. Only, in this case, your brain—for most of us, a refuge or asset in situations like this—Is neither. You’ve lost the reins and yet remain subject to the whims of your thoughts and feelings.

Everything seems really exciting and you feel good. On some level, you recognize that there’s a problem, but you lack the capacity to identify it. You know something’s wrong, but you can’t quite put your finger on what, and are powerless to do anything about it.

most are medication-based. Cadie was forced to see a psychotherapist regularly, which made her less inclined to be open. Given that, in any form of therapy, much depends upon your own willingness to share, psychotherapy wasn’t very effective for her.

In the midst of severe episodes, those suffering from bipolar disorder often require hospitalization. Guidelines in such cases are inexact. This determination to hospitalize someone is made once that person begins to seriously risk the well-being of themselves or persons around them.

Cadie’s admission to CAMH in May of 2015, during her full-blown manic episode, had initially been against her will—a doctor had intervened and signed a form that forced her to stay for 48 hours. Only afterwards did her stay become voluntary.

Cadie’s stay lasted two weeks. Her roommate, also bipolar I, was manic as well. She had been there for over a month— her medication had made little to no difference. For Cadie, seeing an exaggerated version of herself was incredibly scary. At times, her roommate was even too much for her to handle. Cadie came to CAMH after her, and was released before her. When they crossed paths again, when Cadie returned for CBT group therapy, her former roommate had become depressed.

Most of the other patients seemed to either be schizophrenic, bipolar or depressed (depression as distinct from bipolar).

One man told her stories of how he had written a calculus textbook and built a two-mile long fortress that was impenetrable. She found that people were generally pretty

“Sometimes I feel like history is just repeating myself and I really tried to do stuff today but I couldn’t cross anything off my list I am so so sorry I am like this please don’t be mad I used to feel so different and I wanted something medical to stand out and this must be karma and I am an idiot but I need help” – Cadie writes, mid-manic episode.

In the midst of her manic episode, she recalls making a practice of buying nice (i.e. expensive) watches and giving them away to total strangers, whom she struck up conversations with on the street. But one of a string of poor financial decisions with long-term ramifications, for her, doing so seemed perfectly sensible at the time. Thankfully, in hindsight, she is able to appreciate the absurdity.

However, she expresses remorse for the relationships she believes herself to have damaged. “There were people that, afterwards, I was too embarrassed to approach, and haven’t connected with since,” she says.

People in the midst of a manic episode must meet three or more of the following criteria, as laid out in DSM V: feelings of grandeur, less need for sleep, increased talking, racing thoughts, sped-up activity, poor judgment, and/ or psychotic symptoms. Hypomania, while milder by definition, nonetheless requires treatment—as it runs the risk of progressing to mania. These symptoms must last at least 7 days. To dispense with a common misconception, not all who experience a manic episode feel happy or euphoric: some feel irritable, angry, and/or aggressive.

On the other end of the spectrum, those suffering from depression must experience five or more of the following: depressed mood, marked loss of interest in pleasurable activities, weight loss/gain, insomnia/hypersomnia, apathy/ agitation, loss of energy, feelings of guilt/worthlessness, indecisiveness/inability to concentrate, suicidal thoughts, and/or psychotic symptoms. These symptoms must last at least 2 weeks.

Bipolar disorder is perhaps more prevalent than you might think. Worldwide, 1-2% of adults suffer from it. While no small portion on its own, additionally, countless others are indirectly affected.

Psychotherapy, while useful in treating bipolar disorder, is no substitute for medication. It is only effective when deployed in tandem with mood stabilizers like lithium.

Though there are a variety of available treatments,

open about their diagnoses.

As of yet, there is no cure for bipolar disorder. Clinical knowledge and understanding, at best, permit bipolar disorder to be managed and controlled effectively.

On a practical note, for fellow students that are suffering: Cadie’s experiences with accessibility services have been positive. However, as she’s learned through experience and now wishes to relate, the lovely people at accessibility services are unable to meet you halfway. The onus is first on you to reach out—it being logistically impossible for them to actively seek you out. If you’re worried, reach out.

She also recommends anticipating potential problems before they occur, as arrangements take time. If that sounds tricky, that’s because it is. To put it simply, don’t be afraid to ask for help, and learn to recognize your signs and potential triggers.

On a personal note, for the rest of us, confronting mental illness in a person you care about is much easier said than done. It’s easy to feel frustrated and helpless when that someone is acting and thinking irrationally. In most cases, as much as you might want to help, there’s not much you can do, save for offer your patience and understanding. But patience and understanding are nonetheless, vital.

Be there for the person (but, in the case of someone suffering a manic episode, don’t play into or encourage their excitement). Maintain an open mind and let them know that they can always come to you if they need someone to talk to. Having someone to talk to is integral.

With a little knowledge, patience, and understanding, we can all be that someone.

If somebody you know looks like they’re hurting, but seems too afraid to admit or talk openly about it, ask them if they’re okay. If that person’s anything like Cadie, your asking could end up being just what they need.

8

Media and Free Speech

OPINIONS

What really happened at the free speech rally

Soy M. CONTRIBUTOR Anyone who had been to the rally on Tuesday, Oct 11th, can agree that the vast majority of the media coverage of this particular event has been one-sided. This includes the lopsided ratio presented between the number of people interviewed from the group who disrupted the rally and the number of people interviewed from the group who went in support of free speech, when asking for opinions in regards to the event, as seen in, for instance, the interview on City TV. When has free speech become such a controversial topic that it has been deemed unacceptable by mainstream, and even school newspapers (I am looking at you, The Varsity) from even being debated? Recently, an editor at The Varsity admitted to me that The Varsity values some arguments more than others and tends to present these with more emphasis than other arguments. This ties into the growing trend on the campus and elsewhere to value the opinions of people with lived experiences more than those without, and it has reached the magnitude where contradictory comments are essentially banished.

In my interview with Jeremy Andrews, a student at the University of Toronto, he expressed that, while there was a period in time where minorities

had to fight for their rights, right now there is no longer the question of whether or not everyone has the same rights, regardless of their gender or sexual identity. And there is no question that the limitless, continual pushing for equal rights is leading to a situation where it could be seen as a discreet attempt to give more rights to a certain group of people.

I believe that the selective filtering done by the media to support one viewpoint over another can lead to unfavourable results, especially when people assume subjective entries for fundamental realities. Not only does this silence the voices of a number of different people, progress is actually hindered when ideas are not debated, and alternative solutions to problems can never find the surface, as was reported by arbitrary groups.

Media is a dangerously influential medium, and I believe that it is wrong for the contributors, who hold such power, to focus on one side of the issue more than the other just because they find it to be the more favorable opinion for them to express politically. This is unjust in that you are actively promoting one single ideology, without allowing the audience to choose for themselves what they want to support. Especially with recent events,

more and more people are made increasing aware of the biased depictions in the media. As a result of this, trust is lost between the media and those who do not share the same views.

Andrews is one of those people who generally does not trust the media. He believes that the mainstream media tends to frame free speech on a certain group of people, in order to use it as an attack on people who disagree with them.

In response to what he thought of the actions of the counter-protesters at the rally, Andrews says that, if the counter-protesters disagree with the people with the free speech movement, then they should enter into a dialogue and express why they disagree with the views of the protestors, instead of trying to sabotage the event.

Whatever your opinion is on free speech, whether you are against it or for it, I encourage you to keep an open mind towards the opponent. Seek out the reasoning for the other side instead of jumping to conclusions, and/or resort to naming-calling.

I believe it is important to remember that there will always be opinions different from our own.

Literature and Lyrics

Bob Dylan and his new accolade Sam Barrett CONTRIBUTOR Everybody has had that one moment in English class that they hated the most. You can’t say that you’ve always loved English, that you’ve always been excited to write that final essay that’s worth 30% of your grade, or that analyzing that same Shakespeare piece has driven you insane. Let’s be honest, the curtain is red because the curtain is red, and not because of some representation of inner turmoil that the character is feeling in Act 4. Yet, it is works from Shakespeare, George Orwell and others that land in our reading lists for high school and beyond, and, as very diligent students, we don’t often argue with this. These pieces are what we are to consider “literature” and that’s the end of it. Poetry, drama, and prose; three facets of literature that we also have come to accept. Discourse surrounding literature has changed a great deal over the years and perhaps it is changing again to include something new: music lyrics.

Within the last couple of weeks, Bob Dylan has been awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature for “having created new poetic expressions within the great American song tradition.” For those that don’t know, Bob Dylan is a singer songwriter that, despite also being a writer of books and poetry, is far better known for his songs. It is more likely that a passerby on the street will recognize Dylan’s “Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door” than his book Tarantula (1971). He’s been nominated a few times. It seems he finally won the Nobel Prize for Literature due to his music. Dylan is being recognized for the literary nature of his song lyrics, which brings into question whether songs can be considered literature.

A few people have written articles about how songs are made up of two components: the music and the lyrics. To have one without the other results in an incomplete experience. Songs are meant to be a combination of effects, so to look at Dylan’s songs for literary meaning is to strip half of their effectiveness. His folk songs are thick with storytelling elements, and it is the fact that he puts these pieces to music that makes them songs and not poems. However, drama is also made from two parts: the script and the performance. To look at one and ignore the other isn’t giving the literature the respect it deserves. Is it fair that drama counts as literature and songs

do not? Beyond that, what is literature? How can we define it? Does it have to be fiction? Does it have to have strange language and unique styles of writing like in poetry? Does it have to have a deeper meaning? Does literature have to have an assumed degree of ‘excellence’ like Shakespeare and Dickens? Does this article, the one that you’re reading right now, count as literature?

Suffice it to say that literature itself is an ever-changing concept. In many respects, it is fluid. What constitutes as literature, has taken on different shapes and has always been met with some resistance. Do I think Dylan deserves a literature award for his lyrics? Perhaps yes and perhaps no. What I’m more curious about is whether this will set a precedent for Nobel Prizes in the future and whether this signifies a shift in what is considered for it.

OPINIONS

9

The Military Industrial Complex War has always been wasteful, but it can always get worse Anonymous CONTRIBUTOR In recent times, the logistical requirements of warfare have increased due to the ever-growing technology of war machines and weapons.

This requires a massive demand in industrial production, a demand that is taken up by companies, big and small, in their pursuit of profits. Many companies that have been long term players in the industry, like Mauser, Berretta, and Colt have a history of large-scale sales to warbound nations throughout the centuries, these sales often being made with great efficiency.

However, during recent years, with the everincreasing range of companies that deal with the trade of arms, there have been many issues arising with logistics. The movie, War Dogs, highlights one of these issues. A movie about two men who start off making hundreds of thousands of dollars by making a few simple calls, War Dogs highlights the absurd nature of modern day military logistics, where some people, referred to as the “in-between,” make millions of dollars off the American military’s refusal to take a direct hand in logistical supply.

The issue seems quite simple at first glance. The American military seems to be paying millions for others to arrange deals with manufacturers rather than dealing with it themselves. But, amidst the overall situation, there is a catch. This whole mess began when the American government passed over an initiative, allowing any company, big or small, to bid on contracts to supply the American military. This initiative initially seemed like a

good idea. To create a competitive scene between companies to see who could offer the cheapest price for logistics. However, there are only so many small contracts a large company can bid on. This causes an interesting case where small companies make uncontested bids on contracts. and these uncontested bids make American war efforts, specifically, extra costly.

purchasing gear that they don’t need. Another large source of wastefulness in modern warfare.

While there is a greater number of larger issues one could talk about, there are many more specific cases as well. The large outstanding issue of the American war initiative, and the wasteful nature of the modern warfare, make this era of warfare the most wasteful one yet.

Now, while the American military does the bulk of the fighting in the world, and holds the bulk of logistical inefficiency, it can’t be said they hold all of it. Modern military forces often tend to use long expensive transport routes, and often purchase excessively. This is an issue to nearly every major force in the world, other than a few under-armed European forces like the Netherlands. There have been many “stories” of Logistics Officers purposefully purchasing new equipment when current equipment is only slightly damaged, or

Why I Don’t Go to Homecoming One U of T student’s thoughts on Homecoming Rory McCreight CONTRIBUTOR I’ve been to Guelph’s homecoming twice during my tenure at university. I’ve also been at the University of Toronto’s homecoming once, and, at that game, the U of T blues were up by a few touchdowns over our rivals from York at halftime. At that point I left, because the game was essentially over.I haven’t been back to Varsity Stadium since.The games in Guelph, on the other hand, have been back-and-forth games propelled by a sold-out stadium of screaming, face-painted fans brought together for a yearly celebration.

What is it about our homecoming that makes it slide by without notice? We may not have the greatest reputation for on-field prowess, but, from what I saw, sitting in those anemic stands was a pretty solid football team putting a beatdown on our cross-town enemies.So, it’s not the product on the field keeping the fans away.Part of the blame rests on the promoters and organizers ofthe event.There’s no hype for the game, no large social media presence, and noposters blanketing the campus, hammering home the time of the game and info on the festivities before and after.

None of the things that would garner on-campus excitement for a big game.

There’s another issue inherent for university sports. Playing in a major sports market like

Toronto, they must compete for attention with the professionals-- the Jays, Leafs, Raptors, TFC and the Argos.Torontonians are passionate sports fans (despite the sport teams themselves).

Professional sport competition, however, seems like a red herring for the phenomenon of our weak homecoming support.In the States, college sports are almost bigger than professional sports in their respective cities.They are massive draws for college students, locals and even national sports media, so there’s no reason that a college sport can’t be just as successful as the pro sports in their same market.The problem, then, must be one unique to the University of Toronto or, more broadly, universities that prioritize academics over athletics.

One of the beauties of sports is that it brings people together, albeit together against another group of people behind the opposing team. Academics, on the other hand, have the strange effect of dividing people, driving individual people to compete for better grades, major scholarships, and bigger research grants. The University of Toronto compounds these academic schisms in its very structure, broken up into three campuses, seven colleges and dozens offaculties. Ironically, this division and competition isin a pursuit of furthering collective human knowledge, a small-time competition for large-scale unity.

The irony of competition stemming from the pursuit of a common goal could find a balm in the sporting irony of togetherness stemming from competition. A renewed focus on the homecoming game could help create bonds throughout the University of Toronto and ease some feelings of alienation amongst the students of such a large and divided institution.

Homecoming isn’t perfect.It can lead to excessive and early drinking, but people will find reasons for drinking with or without homecoming. It brings people together, unifying them in a common passion and a common goal. Anything that can bring people together ought to be something good for the school as well as its students.

SPORTS

10

Native American Names and Symbols In Sports A case for keeping some and getting rid of others Nick Fleming CONTRIBUTOR In light of recent events (namely, the legal conclusion to reject a Canadian activist’s claim that Canadian broadcasters ought not to show the controversial Cleveland Indians logo) there seems no better time to bring up the contentious and longstanding debate of the use of Native American symbols and names by both professional and amateur sports teams.

When I think about this controversy there are two immediate examples which come to mind. One being Chief Wahoo, the red man with a feather in his hair, who was, until recently the mascot of the Cleveland Indians. The other? The Washington Redskins. Based on these two examples, it’s easy to see how a red man with a feather in his hair named Wahoo, and the use of the term Redskins (which the Oxford Dictionary defines as a dated and offensive word) can be taken as derogatory, and be construed as embracing of stereotypes.

So, why are we still seeing names and logos like this in use? Supporters of keeping these types of branding around argue that they are intended to honor the positive traits of Native Americans, and the issue is often portrayed in the media as offensive, which leads to the impression that it is a simple issue of personal opinion.

However, it is my belief that using names and images such as Redskins and Chief Wahoo, reaffirm preexisting derogatory stereotypes surrounding the Native American peoples of North America. Further, I firmly believe that it is inappropriate to use such logos and names that reinforce a negative and unrealistic public perception of this people group.

Native American groups to promote the values and heritage of their specific culture on a highly visible, and for some, unprecedented national platform.

Though there is unlikely to be any major change in the name and logo choice of professional sports teams anytime in the near future, it is nonetheless valuable to be educated on issues within sports not associated with the rink, field, That being said, I wonder about team names like or court. I still hold out hope that the Chicago Blackhawks—named as such because sometime, this debate will see a proper resolution, the owner of the team had been a commander one which shows Native Americans the respect of a military unit in the First World War, a unit and understanding that they deserve. named for a Suak nation war chief named Black Hawk, one who played an important role in the history of Illinois. Is that derogatory, or is it honoring heritage? Do all names involving Native Americans need to be abolished, or only those that elucidate derogatory stereotypes?

I’d argue that widespread abolition is not the best option. As I have stated, I strongly believe that names that reflect negatively upon a group of people—a group that in North America, tends to be Native Americans—should be changed.

However, I also think that some team names and logos, ones that aren’t as dubious, perhaps ought to be kept. A real solution in the case of the latter would be if these teams spent time working with

Connor McDavid’s Oilers

The beginning of a new era in Edmonton Rory McCreight CONTRIBUTOR In a hypothetical survey of40-60-year-old hockey dads, fifty percent admit Connor McDavid is their biggest crush. The nineteen-year-old, who recently became the youngest NHL captain of all time, has been dubbed a generational talent by fans, critics, and dads alike. Hescored a combined 6 points in his first two games and was the NHL first star for its first week ofregular season play. So, why did he have togoto the Oilers, an organization that has been wasting young talent for years?

Quinn. Their young talent has been squandered by this lack of consistency incoaching systemwise and lack of vision from management. The team had no core to create and sustain a team culture, which resulted in a collection of fast skating, mistake-prone kids spinning their tires.

To put that into a historical context, the Pittsburgh Penguins had two first overall picks (Sidney Crosby and Marc-Andre Fleury) and two second overall picks (Evgeni Malkin and Jordan Staal) over a four-year period. Since, the Penguins have wontwo Stanley Cups, including one with former Leafs stud, Phil “The Thrill” Kessel. For the Oilers, this should be a good sign.

While not a perfect team (Cam Talbot in goal is one glaring weakness) the Oilers have the framework in place to begin their new dynasty with McDavid at their lead. Beyond the depth of young talent acquired through years of disappointment, from longest tenured Oiler Jordan Eberle at the ripe old age of26to recent Finnish first rounder Jesse Puljujärvi, the Oilershave also christened a brand new arena.

Then, along came McDavid. Ushering in a new era for the team, the Oilers gave him the captaincy after a single injury-shortened season in the NHL. Togo with McDavid, the Oilers have added veteran winger Milan Lucic from the The Oilers have had four first overall draft picks bruisin’ Bruins and a new head coach in Todd in six years, a streak which culminated with the McLellan, after a decade-long stint with the San aforementioned McDavid. This summer, the Jose Sharks. In other words, twoquality additions Oilers traded away twoof them in Taylor Hall with winning track records—just what the Oilers and perennial disappointment Nail Yakupov. needed.

However, Oilers management and coaching has been unable to translate its talent into any sort Dubbed by the entire Sportsnet crew as the of real success. The team has gone through seven shining the jewel of the NHL, Rogers Place, coaches in seven years, including the late great Pat (coincidentally owned and operated by the

owners and operators of Sportsnet) is a $600 million monster. Boasting impressive lighting rigs, over $100 million in advanced information tech, and seating around 20,000, the complex marks an impressive commitment by both Rogers and the city of Edmonton to the Oilers.

Itis supposedly going to create a multi-million dollar real estate boom within its one-kilometre blast radius. The Rogers Centre signifies the beginning of a new era for Edmonton– an era complete with championship banners, raucous celebrations, and, ofcourse, the player all dads would trade their firstborn for: Connor McDavid.

SPORTS

11

Concussions: A Linguistic Approach

Why there’s no such thing as a “mild” concussion Josh Scott SPORTS EDITOR If you’ve been involved with sports in some capacity, chances are, you’ve heard someone say, “oh, it’s just a mild concussion.” According to team doctors, Sidney Crosby has been diagnosed with a “mild” concussion. Sound familiar?

desire to return to play as soon as possible. While they endanger themselves by doing so, in the case of professional athletes, it is important to note that they are grown adults capable of making their own educated decisions—though that isn’t to say they shouldn’t be more openly dissuaded.

This phrase has become quite common. It is a That being said, I take issue with the “educated” simple reality that sports medical personnel are aspect: it seems to me that there isn’t enough beholden to both the interests of their team and actual education happening. the players that they are employed to treat and evaluate. It is understood that all three parties In my lifetime, I’ve suffered three concussions. assume a moderate degree of risk in choosing All three were diagnosed as mild. While I’ve to hide/reveal the extent of player injuries. In been lucky enough to have had parents and a perfect world, the safety of the player would coaches that put my personal safety above the be privileged above all else. However, this isn’t interests of the team, others aren’t nearly so always the case. Case in point: time and time aware. I’ve known people to shrug off many more again, the NFL has been accused of concealing and continue to play and compete, unabatedly. from players the full extent of the long-term health-risks associated with concussions.

In short, coaches, players, medical staff, and even the media are complicit in underselling the General consensus on the matter, however, dangers of concussions. A shift in terminology seems to be gradually shifting. The perception would go a long way towards changing this. of football and its inherent dangers have led a great deal of parents—not to mention former Technically speaking, those in the medical players—to say on the record that, knowing what profession distinguish mild from severe they know, they will not allow their own children concussions on the basis of carefully defined to play. symptoms. In such matters, this sort of exacting terminology is useful.

Some athletes themselves are even reluctant to reveal the extent of their injuries, and often conceal Practically speaking, there’s nothing mild them out of a misguided but understandable about a concussion. You are either concussed

or not. Any trauma to the head or brain ought to be considered serious. Concussions have the potential to not only derail careers, but lives.

The dangers associated with concussions should not, in any context (save for a medical one) be undersold. To continue to distinguish some concussions as mild and imply to the public that—by extension—they ought not to be taken as seriously is simply irresponsible. Any brain injury is a big deal. We, as a general public even seem a little desensitized to the term “concussion”—if you ask me, the brazen specificity of “traumatic brain injury”(TBI) conveys it much better.

Proper medical attention needs be sought if any symptoms have been experienced.

Whether “mild” or “severe,” concussions pose a real danger. In the matter of head injuries, erring on the side of caution always beats assuming any unnecessary risk. Proper medical attention needs to be sought if any symptoms have been experienced. And if a slight change in the language we use has the potential to affect public perception in a positive way, however slight— which, you have to admit, it does—is it not worth considering?

FAITH & THOUGHT Mixing the Taught and the Thought

12

A compromise between the rules and the facts Javiera Gutierrez Duran CONTRIBUTOR Growing up, I went to church and sang in the church choir every Sunday without fail until I was about twelve. I couldn’t understand why the scripture says God loves us and yet there weare horrible things occurring daily, and I couldn’t understand how the slightly disturbing history of the Roman Catholic Church could be justified. Having grown up with a practicing and religious Catholic mother meant that I already had a strong foundation in my beliefs.

Considering this pre-existing foundation, I never looked into other religions because I do believe in Catholicism. Despite having on one hand, the confusion of not being able to see a physical entity, and on the other, having some issues with the institution, I knew that there was a reason it i’s called faith. I also believed that the institution is led by people and that people are flawed, so even if they believe they are carrying out God’s word, they might still make mistakes. Therefore, although I was your typical confused teenager, I never questioned my faith in God and learned that there is no right or wrong way to practice a religion, you just have

to believe and open your heart.

The biggest thing for me lately, as I got back into practicing my faith, has been reconciling my personal beliefs with that of the scripture.

This is the part where you, the reader, get slightly nervous about what I am going to say about the LGBTQ community, abortion, abstinence, or any other controversial topics. Say it with me, reconciliation. Many Christians would call LGBTQ people sinners, however, it’s all about where you look. So I looked in the bible and found that while it says, “Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts.

Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed shameful acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their error” (Romans 1:26 – 27.), it also states in Galatians 3:28, “There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ

Jesus.” I further found myself considering the question of the abuse of young boys by older men otherwise known as pederasty:, could the anti-gay bible verses be a warning against sexual abuse? Many questions arose as I read and reconciled.

Regardless, I decided that the most important thing to keep in mind with controversial topics is that although views may differ everyone deserves respect. It’s all about perspective and willingness to broaden your scope of mind.

While some Christians would probably consider this compromise of my personal beliefs and that of scripture ungodly and unacceptable, I embark upon my faith adventure without a doubt that God is forgiving and understanding.

The following is one of my favorite verses, “Perhaps, this is the moment for which you have been created” Esther 4:14. My religion is what guides me through the highs and the lows, it reasuures me when I am anxious or confused , and above all, it is accepting.

My Grandpa Still Thinks They Say “Aloha... Akbar” How I found faith

Rachel Tidlund CONTRIBUTOR Have you ever wanted to show your family who you really are? Have you ever wanted to hide yourself from them? In my situation, it’s a little bit of both. I grew up in Alberta. When I say Alberta, I mean small, rural, hick, and mostly white. I was raised in small towns for most of my life, and had little exposure to the larger world. My family was a strange mix of old world tradition, atheism, and one Jehovah Witness – my nana. I grew up mostly under my nana’s teachings. While I didn’t agree with a lot of it, I still greatly appreciate the effort and the connection my nana established with me. In all my family, she was the hardest to say goodbye to when I left home. When I arrived in Toronto, however, I was able to branch out in life. For the first time, I was free from the shadow of my family and began to develop my own ideas. It was both a terrifying and fascinating experience. Nevertheless, I found something I hadn’t believed I would –Faith. I found Islam.

Through my Islamic history class, one which I had taken by chance for a breadth requirement, my interest peaked. I had never heard Islam portrayed in such a way, and it intrigued me. I decided to pick up the Quran. Reading through it was difficult at first, it was something completely foreign to me, and it was hard to comprehend, but I decided to continue by doing research on it. I took a few more Islamic history classes, entered discussions on the Quran and hadiths, and talked with chaplains. As I continued my search, I found that it was making more sense as time progressed. I discovered that I was no longer approaching it from an opposition point, but rather beginning to search for deeper meaning. I had never really thought about myself as being a religious person, and certainly

never imagined this. As I gained historical and religious background to the texts, they began to evolve before me. In a way, I feel like I was changed without fully noticing the shift.

To be honest, I had barely even heard the word growing up. There aren’t many Muslims in rural Alberta, and there were definitely none in any towns that I lived in. The only exposure I had ever had was 9/11 and Assassin’s Creed, which were far from an informed education.

People often look at me a little oddly when I introduce myself as converting to Islam. I don’t fit into the neat and tight stereotype group that most Muslims are packaged in. I stand out in many ways, and I know I do. Now many people are happy for me, but that comes with strong exceptions. I feel deep in my heart that I could never share this experience with my family.

I could never really tell my family my beliefs.

They are strongly right-wing, and have some incorrect ideas about Islam, which creates waves of anti-Islamic, anti-immigration, and hate rhetoric. Despite my best efforts, I feel that I can never change their opinions with facts and passages. Though I know my nana would support me through anything, she has strong faith herself. I, therefore, constantly worry about starting an argument with her that would evolve into a grudge. I treasure our relationship, and would hate to see it destroyed over a petty fight.

On the other side of the coin, I’m an outsider to the Islamic community. While I now have some friends who take me under their wing and included me in their Eid celebrations, I remain on the fringes. Surprisingly, my skin colour is

often pointed out the most. Whenever I inform someone I eat halal, or believe in the Quran, I am greeted with a surprised: “But you’re white.” I actually never even thought of this being a big issue, but it is. In addition to that, there is always some confusion about how my opinions and my beliefs can coincide. The biggest problem is my sexuality. I have been transparent for years about my bisexuality, but now that I have embraced a faith, it has become exponentially more difficult for me to accept myself. So now, I sit awkwardly in between a rock and a hard place. I have to be “white” enough to feel comfortable around my family, but I have to be “Muslim” enough to feel accepted by the Islamic community. Nonetheless, I find myself happier in that squished little place than ever before. Perhaps soon, I will take the full leap – embracing all that is Islam, fully converting, and survivingthe onslaught of questions and accusations that will come. However, for now, I will focus on surviving midterms.