Buzz Magazine: Dec. 18, 2003

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BUZZ ROCKS | DECEMBER 11-DECEMBER 17 , 2003 buzz

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Fri. & Sat. 12:00 12:30 4:15 4:45 7:00 7:30 9:30 10:00 11:45 Sun. - Tue. 12:00 12:30 4:15 4:45 7:00 7:30 9:30 10:00 Wed. 12:00 12:30 4:15 4:45 Thu. 4:15 4:45 7:00 7:30 9:30 10:00 ◆ RETURN OF THE KING (PG–13) (4 SCREENS) Fri. & Sat. 11:15 11:45 12:00 1:00 3:00 3:30 4:00 5:00 7:00 7:30 8:00 9:00 10:50 11:15 Sun. - Tue. 11:15 11:45 12:00 1:00 3:00 3:30 4:00 5:00 7:00 7:30 8:00 9:00 Wed. 11:15 11:45 12:00 1:00 3:00 3:30 4:00 5:00 Thu. 4:00 5:00 7:00 7:30 8:00 9:00 BAD SANTA (R) Fri. & Sat. 12:50 3:00 5:00 7:20 9:35 11:30 Sun. - Tue. 12:50 3:00 5:00 7:20 9:35 Wed. 12:50 3:00 5:00 Thu. 5:00 7:20 9:35 BROTHER BEAR (G) Fri. Wed. 11:30 ELF (PG) Fri. & Sat. 1:00 3:00 5:00 7:20 9:20 11:30 Sun. - Tue. 1:00 3:00 5:00 7:20 9:20 Wed. 1:00 3:00 5:00 Thu. 5:00 7:20 9:20 GOTHIKA (R) Fri. & Sat. 5:15 9:45 12:00 Sun. - Tue. 5:15 9:45 Wed. 5:15 HONEY (PG–13) Fri. - Tue. 1:15 3:15 7:30 Wed. 1:15 3:15 LOVE ACTUALLY (R) Fri. Tue. 1:30 4:30 7:15 10:00 Wed. 1:30 4:30 LOVE DON'T COST (PG–13) Fri. & Sat. 12:45 3:00 5:15 7:30 9:45 12:00 Sun. - Tue. 12:45 3:00 5:15 7:30 9:45 Wed. 12:45 3:00 5:15 Thu. 5:15 7:30 9:45 (2 SCREENS)

◆ SOMETHING GOTTA GIVE (PG–13) (2 SCREENS) Fri. &

Sat. 12:50 1:20 4:15 4:45 6:45 7:15 9:20 9:50 12:00 Sun. - Tue. 12:50 1:20 4:15 4:45 6:45 7:15 9:20 9:50 Wed. 12:50 1:20 4:15 4:45 ◆ Thu. 4:15 4:45 6:45 7:15 9:20 9:50 STUCK ON YOU (PG–13) Fri. & Sat. 1:00 4:00 7:00 9:35 12:05 Sun. - Tue. 1:00 4:00 7:00 9:35 Wed. 1:00 4:00 Thu. 4:00 7:00 9:35 CAT IN THE HAT (PG) Fri. & Sat. 1:30 3:30 5:30 7:30 9:30 11:30 Sun. - Tue. 1:30 3:30 5:30 7:30 9:30 Wed. 1:30 3:30 5:30 HAUNTED MANSION (PG) Fri. & Sat. 1:15 3:15 5:15 7:15 9:15 11:15 Sun. - Tue. 1:15 3:15 5:15 7:15 9:15 Wed. 1:15 3:15 5:15 Thu. 5:15 7:15 9:15 LAST SAMURAI (R) Fri. - Tue. 1:00 4:00 7:00 10:00 Wed. 1:00 4:00 Thu. 4:00 7:00 10:00

MY LIFE WITHOUT ME (R) Fri. & Sat. 1:00 3:00 6:45 9:20 11:40 Sun. - Tue. 1:00 3:00 6:45 9:20 Wed. 1:00 3:00 CHEAPER BY DOZEN (PG) Thu. 4:45 7:15 9:45 4:15 6:45 9:20 PAYCHECK (PG–13) Thu. 5:15 7:45 10:15 COLD MOUNTAIN (R) Thu. 4:00 7:00 10:05 PETER PAN (PG) Thu. 5:15 7:35 10:00 IN AMERICA (PG–13) Thu. 6:45 9:20 Showtimes for 12/19 thru 12/25

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MUSIC

Editors pick their favorite 2003 albums (page 7) CALENDAR

Euphone create jazz, rock fusion (page 10) FILM

Top 10 films of 2003 (page 15)

12/17/03

2:36 PM

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ARE WE THERE YET? | DECEMBER 18-DECEMBER 23, 2003 buzz

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COMMUNIT Y

Q&A with a Strawberry Fields manager ARTS

Pottery verbalizes Krannert MUSIC

What ticked off buzz in Music this year

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CALENDAR

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FILM

See all there is to do in C-U Get Stuck on this film

Volume 1, Number 44 COVER DESIGN | Meaghan Dee

editor’snote

W

ith Saddam Hussein’s capture Saturday night, the United States rid itself of its top enemy, or at least that’s what the headlines read on many newspapers.

President George W. Bush appeared triumphant again, making a similar speech to the one he gave in May when he declared the end of all major combat. I thought the Iraqi people were safe last May, but I guess that declaration came prematurely.

Anyway, Saddam appeared in rare form on the Sunday morning news shows. Doctors searched him for fleas as he turned his head from side to side. At that moment, he looked like a harmless slob and not the scary dictator the Republicans built him up to be. Was this the man that could have decimated America with his weapons of mass destruction? Could it be the man that wanted to bring the apocalypse upon us? He certainly did not look that way Sunday.

When American forces discovered him, Saddam surrendered to the troops without a fight. Why did he not come out with guns blazing? Where were his chemical or biological weapons to attack the coalition troops with? Well, I guess he must have stockpiled them somewhere else.

As America celebrates the capture of this vile man, one question remains: Where is America’s real number one enemy? “Oh, where, oh where can little Osama bin Laden be?” should be the question on the American

public’s mind. Actually, it should have been on Americans’ minds for the past year and a half before we invaded Iraq. We should have questioned our president and politicians as to why we were invading another country when the war in Afghanistan had not concluded. In my mind, he is public enemy number one. His soldiers invaded our land and attacked some of our more sacred structures, claiming thousands of American lives.

How many American lives had Saddam taken? It is not nearly as many as Osama bin Laden and Al Qaeda.

When I think of Osama bin Laden, absolute hate and anger spring from inside me. When I think of Saddam, I get a bad taste in my mouth.

Maybe I am wrong, but I have a feeling most Americans feel the same.

I will give Bush this: He rid the world of a terrible dictator. This man needed to be gone more than 10 years ago. But his father, Papa Bush, surrendered to the pressure of his time and pulled our troops out. I know the situation was more complicated at the time, but he still should have captured Saddam.

Now, Bush Jr. decided to right his father’s mistake. He will never say that. Instead, he used the rhetoric of fear to scare people into supporting this war with Iraq. He told us they had weapons of mass destruction, which we have not found. He told us there were connections between Iraq and Osama bin Laden, which we have not found.

So before everyone starts praising Saddam’s capture, let us remember we got into this war for the wrong reasons. What those real reasons were, we may never know.

—TR

BUZZ STAFF Editor in chief Tom Rybarczyk Art Director Meaghan Dee Copy Chief Erin Green Arts Katie Richardson Music Brian Mertz Entertainment Jason Cantone Calendar Marissa Monson Assistant Music Editor Jacob Dittmer Calendar Coordinators Lauren Smith, Cassie Conner, Erin Scottberg Photography Adam Young, Christine Litas, Nik Gallicchio Copy Editors Elizabeth Zeman, Jen Hubert Designers Meaghan Dee, Jason Cantone, Marissa Monson, Carol Mudra, Adam Obendorf, Amy Hanlon Production Manager Theon Smith Editorial Adviser Elliot Kolkovich Sales Manager Lindsey Benton Marketing/Distribution Melissa Schleicher, Maria Erickson Publisher Mary Cory All editorial questions or letters to the editor should be sent to buzz@readbuzz.com or 337-8137 or buzz, 57 E. Green St., Champaign, Ill., 61820.

Buzz magazine is a student-run publication of Illini Media Company and does not necessarily represent,in whole or in part, the views of the University of Illinois administration, faculty or students.

AND ANOTHER THING...

Got an opinion?

Every hero needs his villain, even if it’s Saddam Hussein

BY MICHAEL COULTER | CONTRIBUTING WRITER

E-mail us at buzz@readbuzz.com or you can send us a letter at 57 E. Green St. Champaign, IL 61820.

We reserve the right to reject submissions.

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19

buzz DECEMBER 11-DECEMBER 17 , 2003 | I WANT TO BE A VILLAIN

I

used to read a ton of comic books when I was a kid. I think it was all part of my plan to avoid having to kiss a girl until high school. But either way, I enjoyed them. I rooted for the hero, but I gotta say, the real fun was in the villains. I wouldn’t have cared as much about comic books if Batman or Spiderman were apprehending a simple burglar or someone committing mail fraud every month.

Nope, the beauty of it was that the villains were not only colorful but also out to destroy the world. Every hero needs a villain.

Even though he’s not much of a hero, George Bush lost his villain on Sunday when our forces finally caught up with Saddam Hussein, and I bet our president misses him already. If this were a comic book, it wouldn’t be a very good one. I can’t remember Superman ever saving the world from Lex Luthor and then pulling his body out of a hole in some shed and checking him for fleas. Let’s face it, it couldn’t have been the ending Bush was looking for.

The ideal ending probably would have been our troops crashing through the palace doors, freeing some prisoners and then beginning a shootout with Saddam, guns blazing in all directions. When it appeared all hope was lost, George Bush would crash through the window and finally finish Saddam off once and for all. The last panel would be George dragging the dictator out of the palace by his beard and turning him over to the proper authorities, sweat and blood dripping from our president’s face just like Bruce Willis in Die Hard.

OK, sure, that ending wasn’t going to happen. George Bush might be the commander in chief but he’s not much of an actual soldier.

Besides, to have that ending, Bush would have to actually be in Iraq, and he would have to be there for something other than a surprise meal.

It’s hard to be considered the hero when other people are doing all the fighting for you.

Saddam had been on the run since April though, and I’m sure the troops didn’t really care how he was brought in. It’s a good thing they got him when they did. They found him with two AK-47’s, a pistol, and a white and orange taxicab. It sounds to me like he was planning to start his own gypsy cab company right here in the states. He could have flown under the radar for years if that would have

happened. Try to find a cab in Chicago without a bearded, armed, foreign man driving it.

He’s caught, and for all the smart-ass little comments I make about it, I have to say it’s nice to have him out of the way. He’s still causing problems though. A senior U.S. official said Saddam “was a wise-ass” and was answering questions with patriotic rhetoric. That’s gotta hurt Saddam’s ego. Less than a year ago, he was being called the most dangerous dictator in the world, ready to destroy us with weapons of mass destruction. Now he’s been reduced to “a wise-ass” just hours after his capture.

Even though they say he will continue to be questioned, officials doubt they’ll get any significant intelligence from him. That seems about right. I bet if the Iraqis captured our president they wouldn’t encounter much significant intelligence either.

That’s what it comes down to really, a couple of idiots that started a big fight that neither one of them actually fought in. We lost troops; they lost troops. I suppose the Iraqis are better off for the time being, but even that remains to be seen. No weapons of mass destruction have turned up, so I have to ask what this war was really for. I guess it worked out for Halliburton and all the other companies that are going to make a truckload of money rebuilding Iraq, but, besides that, it seems like a big letdown and a big waste. All that’s left now is the trial.

Apparently, the Iraqis will decide Saddam’s fate in a court of law. We better milk the last days of our archnemesis for all they’re worth.

Bring him to court in a straitjacket and one of those Hannibal Lecter masks. Let Bush give the closing arguments like he’s Sam Watterson in an episode of Law & Order. After that they can hang his ass on national TV. He deserves it, after all. Then we can wrap up this chapter of history ... and our president can start looking for another villain.

He needs one, after all, maybe a couple of them. He’s going to be running for re-election very soon and his best chance of winning is if he finds another villain and fast. If Americans are fearful, they’ll vote for him again. If he can’t find a villain soon, he may have to turn his attention to health care or the economy, and there’s not as much glamour in something like that. Solving those problems would probably take actual work, something our president has never done a day of in his life. buz z

Michael Coulter is a videographer at Parkland College. He writes a weekly e-mail column, “This Sporting Life” and has hosted several local comedy shows.

Family continued from page 4 It will remind her of the Christmas mornings when she and Missy would wake up at 5 a.m. and organize presents into piles, and of how her mom always had a knack for picking out a Christmas gift that Katy never would ask for but always ended up loving—like hot rollers.

Katy wants Ashlyn to know these things. She hopes Ashlyn will stay near Philo when she grows up, just like she and Adam did. She wants to be able to visit her grandchildren whenever she wants, just like her parents get to visit Ashlyn whenever they want. She wants Ashlyn to have a sister or brother to play with in the cornfields, just like Katy had Missy, and she wants to have the special knack her mom had when getting Ashlyn Christmas presents, just like her mom had.

But none of this was on their minds that night. They just wanted to rest up to finish moving tomorrow. They awoke about 6 and got started at the new house. While Adam, Luke, Dad and Randy lugged in the washer and dryer, Katy hung the light green towels and the puppy-dog and kitty-cat shower curtain in Ashlyn’s bathroom.

“Ooh, those are cute!” said Adam’s mom, Susan, who had stopped by.

“Yeah, it’s not too girly, in case we have a boy next time,” Katy said.

She finished the bathroom and moved on to the boxes stacked in the kitchen, where she unloaded the pots and pans. By then the beige leather couches had been placed in the family room, and all the furniture had been set up in Ashlyn’s bedroom and the guest room. All that was left for Katy to do was unpack the boxes piled in the kitchen and master bedroom.

When the work slowed down, Randy and Adam’s parents headed home, and Luke sat with Ashlyn, who was peacefully watching Fantasia. In the midst of the sudden peace and quiet, Adam stopped setting up the bar in the basement and came upstairs, where he grabbed Katy by her hips, turned her away from her unpacking and held her in his arms.

“I love you,” he said, leaning down to kiss her.

In an hour, the house got busy again. Gene came over to help Adam and Luke set up the dryer in the laundry room, while Katy unpacked items and put them in the pantry.

Ashlyn started wandering around the house speaking gibberish.

“She’s just talkative today,” Gene said.

“Mota Mouth,” Katy said.

“Momma,” Ashlyn said.

“Yes,” Katy replied absently as she worked.

“Momma,” Ashlyn repeated.

“Yes.” “Momma.”

“Yes.” Grandpa Gene knew what was going on.

Ashlyn was fussy tonight because she was confused about where she was, and she wasn’t getting the attention she’s used to. “I want to see your room,” he said to Ashlyn, leading her into her bedroom. “Oh, this is Ashy’s room. I see all her furniture.” Ashlyn pointed to her lamp on

PHOTO | ADAM YOUNG

121803buzz0219

Katy moved into the house in October with her husband, Adam, and their 21-month-old baby, Ashlyn. her dresser. “Look, and there’s Ashy’s bed she always sleeps in, the bear that always sleeps under Ashy’s bed. Everything is just the way Ashy likes it. This is your room.”

She may not have felt comfortable in her room, but she got accustomed to the bathtub just fine that night during her first bath in the new house. She even got to enjoy her first “naked time,” running around in circles in the living room until Katy caught her and put on her diaper. From her bath to Adam’s whirlpool later, they were all getting used to the new house. And despite Grandpa’s efforts, Ashlyn just didn’t sleep well that first night. It just didn’t feel normal.

And the next night, on Katy’s birthday, it won’t feel normal for her to turn off Route 130 on to Jefferson instead of Van Buren on her way home from work. It won’t feel normal to eat takeout from the Philo Tavern for dinner instead of cooking their winter-specialty chili or beef stew. Yet Ashlyn will sit in her adjustable highchair—the one that “will grow with her”— and Katy and Adam will talk about their days as they always do. Katy will scrape the dishes and Adam will take out the garbage and start the fire. Katy will put on Mr. Wiggles for Ashlyn and change into her pajamas to be “comfy;” after all it will just be her mom and stepdad and Adam’s parents visiting for her birthday. They will be the first guests to walk in the front door that opens into the family room, where Katy will open her gifts in front of the blazing fireplace while Ashlyn jumps in the scraps of wrapping paper. Katy will tell the story about how Ashlyn finally said two words together the other day—while holding up a Ziploc bag, she said “open this” to Adam. They will talk of plans for Christmas at the new house, where Katy will finally get to repay her mom and Adam’s mom with holiday cooking duties, and of how Katy plans to put a nativity scene atop the large fireplace mantel. They will eat cake and sing “Happy Birthday” to Katy, and as Grampy says goodbye, he will hold Ashlyn and tell her as he did tonight: “You sleep all night long tonight, you sleep all night long.” buz z

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odds & end

I WISH MY HOROSCOPE WAS BETTER THIS WEEK... | NOVEMBER 26-DECEMBER 3, 2003

buzz

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY ARIES (March 21-April 19): Happy Holy Daze, Aries! I've been meditating on the perfect holiday gift for you. What symbolic item might inspire you to take maximum advantage of the cosmic currents in 2004? I decided on the book Marathon Training For Dummies, by Tere Stouffer Drenth. It's not because I think you should literally gear up to run a 26-mile race during the coming year. Rather, I'd like to get you in a frame of mind in which you're always prepping yourself for lengthy projects that will require stamina, resourcefulness, and strategic thinking.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): The love song is an endangered species. Lots of modern musicians do sex songs and pain songs and rage songs, but few are inclined to craft tunes in which they declare their passionate affection and describe it in all its nuanced uniqueness. As a result, Taurus, you will most likely be out of sync with the tenor of the times in 2004.Your heart will be stirred as it hasn't been in many moons. Even if you're not a professional vocalist, you may often feel longings to express your lush emotions in song. If I were going to get you a holiday gift, it would be a compilation CD filled with the greatest love songs of the last sixty years.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Happy Holy Daze, Gemini! I predict that you'll dive deeper in 2004. You will cheerily plunge in over your head as you pursue the noble goal of getting to the bottom of things. Exploring murky waters shouldn't faze you because you'll have a sixth sense that's equivalent to being able to see in the dark. In looking around for a holiday gift you could give yourself to encourage these extraordinary predilections, I came across a yellow submarine for sale on the Internet. Amazingly, it's named the "Gemini." For more info, see www.subeo.com/inside.htm.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): You think you know what chocolate is all about? You don't. The tastes you find in M&M's and Hershey's Kisses comprise a tiny percentage of chocolate's total flavor spectrum. A few vanguard connoisseurs are beginning to awaken to the glorious diversity. New York now boasts several gourmet boutiques that offer the kind of variety characteristic of wine and coffee specialty stores. If I could get you a holiday gift, Cancerian, it would be a sampling of these exotic chocolates.

Maybe if you realized what you've been missing in this one area, you'd also get more aggressive about pursuing a wider array of other fine pleasures in 2004. And that would be in alignment with the astrological omens.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Happy Holy Daze, Leo! I've been meditating on the perfect holiday gift for you. What would best get you ready for 2004? What symbolic offering might motivate you to take maximum advantage of the astrological opportunities ahead? And the answer is: dirt; to be exact, one cup of good, rich

soil from each of the seven places in the world where you feel most at home. With these containers of sacred ground displayed on your altar, you might be inspired to come way down to earth: to be more practical, detail-oriented, skilled at compromise, and hard-working than you've ever been.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Happy Holy Daze, Virgo! I've been meditating on the perfect holiday gift for you. What symbolic offering might inspire you to be in closest alignment with the cosmic currents in 2004? I decided on a framed photo of a Great White Shark, which is the only sea creature that has no natural enemies. I expect that you will likewise have few adversaries and obstacles in the coming months. The Great White is also at the top of the food chain, and while you may not ascend all the way to the pinnacle of your local hierarchy, you should definitely climb higher.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Happy Holy Daze, Libra! I've been meditating on the perfect holiday gift for you. What symbolic item might help you take maximum advantage of the cosmic currents in 2004? Here's what I came up with: the film, "Destino," a collaboration between surrealist painter Salvador Dali and Walt Disney's team of animators.Though the joint artistic effort began soon after Disney and Dali met in 1945, it wasn't completed until recently. In that sense alone it should be inspiring, because you, too, will be striving to revive an old dream in the coming months. Your near future will resemble a Disney-Dali creation in another way: There'll be a convergence of what's weird and what's popular, what's extraordinary and normal, what's adventurous and cute.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): The coming year will be a favorable time to double your commitment to rowdy fun. I encourage you to attend more parties than usual and always be on the lookout for how you can energize social occasions with acts of joyous abandon. You'll also be wise to infuse even your intimate encounters with boisterous amusements. Therefore, Scorpio, please consider doing more handstands on barstools in 2004.Try dancing on tabletops with only some of your clothes on, slurping right out of punch bowls, starting food fights, and knocking over lamps while spontaneously making love. If I were going to get you a symbolic holiday gift this year, it might be a chandelier, conveying to you my hope that you will bring back the lost art of swinging on chandeliers.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Happy Holy Daze, Sagittarius!

I've been meditating on the perfect holiday gift for you. What would best get you ready for 2004? What might help you take maximum advantage of the astrological opportunities ahead?

And the answer is: a $20-million, 30-second ad about you and your services, to be broadcast on TV during the Super Bowl next

February. You need a splashy marketing gambit like that to get the word out. It is high time for you to shine in the spotlight at center stage.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Happy Holy Daze, Capricorn! I've been meditating on the perfect holiday gifts for you. What symbolic items might inspire you to take maximum advantage of the cosmic currents in 2004? I've decided on three things: 1. binoculars, which I hope will encourage you to constantly seek closer looks at distant sights; 2. mountain-climbing equipment, which I hope will encourage you to spend more time outside, get naturally high, and look at the world from lofty perspectives; 3. lightweight, quick-drying, anti-bacterial underwear designed to be washed every night as you travel. I hope they'll encourage you to leave behind heavy baggage and complicated expectations as you make frequent forays out of your comfort zone.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Your holiday celebrations wouldn't be much fun if there were no such thing as fungi. One member of the fungus family, yeast, is essential to brewing alcoholic beverages, baking pastries, and turning cocoa beans into chocolate.

Another type of fungus is crucial to the growth of most Christmas trees. They grow well only because of the symbiotic relationship between their roots and certain mushrooms.

Wrapping paper would of course also be scarce without the mushrooms' assistance. Now that you've heard these facts, Aquarius, I hope you'll decide to make the fungus your good luck charm in 2004. It will remind you to hold in high esteem the hidden forces and unsung people that will be constantly working behind the scenes in your behalf. This will be the Year of Secret Helpers. (Thanks to Tom Volk's "Fungus of the Month" website at http://botit.botany.wisc.edu/toms_fungi/fotm.html.)

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Happy Holy Daze, Pisces! I've been meditating on the perfect holiday gift for you. What would best get you ready for 2004? What might motivate you to take maximum advantage of the astrological opportunities ahead? I've decided to give you a small, circumscribed part of the Pacific Ocean. It's a cubic mile located between longitude 110 and 111 degrees west and between latitude 10 and 11 degrees south. I'm hoping that this manageable, well-defined section of the primal sea will inspire you to create better boundaries as you deal with your own oceanic emotions; to be more judiciously dramatic and less overflowingly melodramatic.

HOMEWORK: Rob Brezsny's Free Will Astrology beautyandtruth Forget what Time magazine @ f r e e w i l l a s t r o l o g y. c o m thinks. Who is your 415.459.7209(v)• 415.457.3769 "Person of the Year?" http://www.freewillastrology. www.freewillastrology.com. com P.O. Box 798 San Anselmo, CA 94979

✍

☎

CROSSWORD PUZZLE ACROSS 1 Rather good at

reporting 4 “Moses” author 8 One given to gushing 14 “Turn to Stone” grp.

15 Dynasty of Confucius 16 Rabbit ears, e.g.

17 College entrance consideration 19 Still in the original package 20 Gets ready beforehand, in a way 21 Like Satan worshipers 22 Lends 23 Past tense?

24 One that gives you an eyeful?

26 Corporeal cord 27 Drain feature 28 Like many churches

43 Enter quietly 45 Turn (to) 46 Taking off 47 Source of

some scars

48 Hierarchs 49 Famous Cremona

8 Tell a thing or

two

9 They may be

brought to a business meeting

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56 Even

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18 Goose-pimply

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31 Rush in a

DOWN 1 Regardless of 2 Not at all calm 3 Need for taking 9-

Down

31 Storied home wrecker

5 Skyrocket

38 Shout to the team

6 Feature of some roller

coasters

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movie theater

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light bulb producers?

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Family transforms house into home

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BY ANGELA FORNELLI | CONTRIBUTING WRITER

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after her bath. They could see their family gathered around the dining table for Christmas dinner. They could see a second child sleeping in the spare room down the hall from Ashlyn’s.

Surely, they thought, by the time all their things were moved in, it would feel like home. It turns out, these things come with time.

Adam gets out of the tub as Katy finishes brushing her teeth. They put on the same old pajamas they’ve worn for years and sink into the same bed they’ve always slept in, Katy on the left and Adam on the right. Adam wasn’t sure if he’d sleep well tonight because he has trouble sleeping when he goes away on golfing tournaments with his buddies. But Katy reassured him, “I’ll be there, you’ll be fine.”

Ashlyn, on the other hand, doesn’t have the comfort of Momma and Dadda right in the room next door anymore. Their room is now a whole family room and kitchen’s length away on the other side of the 2,468-square-foot ranch house. Her screaming cries wake Katy and Adam three times during the night—at 9:30, 11:30 and 3:30. She hasn’t awoke that many times in one night in months.

In the morning, Katy doesn’t press the snooze button as she usually does before getting ready to teach her kindergartners. She knows it will take longer to get ready because she will have to figure out how the fancy walkin shower works and locate the outlets for her hairdryer. She styles her chin-length, brown hair in her new vanity mirror and doesn’t remember that it is her 31st birthday until Adam wakes up and says, “Happy birthday.”

Now she remembers that her birthday wish— waking up in her dream house on her birthday—has been granted, even though she has

obody is sleeping in the old house at 206 Van Buren tonight. It is empty now. The bed that once squeezed tightly into Katy and Adam’s bedroom seems tiny in their new master bedroom. The bathtub Adam usually takes a bath in before bed has turned into a whirlpool tub tonight. He soaks while Katy unpacks her makeup into her vanity drawer under the bathroom counter.

“It feels like we’re in a nice hotel,” Adam remembers telling Katy.

But this hotel is different. It holds the pink plaster heart Katy made for Adam’s first Father’s Day in 2002. The one with baby Ashlyn’s footprint and the words “Daddy’s turkey bird” painted in yellow. It holds the handmade wedding vase that says “Katy and Adam Yeazel, July 25, 1998.” The one that Adam empties his change into every day after work to put into 21-month-old Ashlyn’s savings fund.

Adam and Katy didn’t expect to feel so strange on the first night in their new house.

After all, they know this house inside and out, down to the number of electrical outlets and the brand of vinyl on the kitchen floor. They have visited the house every day since the groundbreaking eight months ago, watching it grow piece by piece into the house they imagined in their dreams. It felt to them very much like it felt when they were waiting for Ashlyn to be born. The more they could see her growing, the more and more she felt real, and the more she felt like their own.

Back then, they could picture it. Standing on the concrete floors between the two-by-four framing of the family room, they could see Ashlyn running in circles during “naked time”

VinnieHernandez

Vinnie Hernandez has been an assistant manager at Strawberry Fields since this summer. A former University of Illinois student, the 24year-old started working at the organic food store three years ago.

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What do you love most about C-U? It’s a town where you get trapped in. But at the same time, you kind of like it. Things are happening. Yet, it’s pretty small. It’s kind of intimate still.

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If you could change C-U in one way, what would it be?

They need to add a monorail.

Puzzle by Sherry O. Blackard

opposition brutally

34 Eradicated,

with “out”

35 Hop offerer 36 Has trouble standing

37 Architecture, e.g.

38 Skilled moneymaker 39 Whole 40 Certain marble

3

Katy Yeazel puts away glassware in her family's new house in Philo. been so caught up in moving that she had forgotten.

So Katy could get her wish and so the house could be ready for Adam’s 30th birthday party in a few weeks, Adam took the week off work as a vice president at CentrueBank and began moving things with his friend, Randy Harshbarger, two days ago. It was a long day, starting with lunch and beer at the Philo Tavern, a local haunt where Adam, Katy and their friends and families have gone many times in their years living in nearby small towns. Adam grew up in Sidney, where his

grandparents lived two doors down, and Katy grew up in the neighboring town of Tolono. The two knew one another even back in junior high.

Adam “liked” Katy in eighth grade but Katy didn’t know it. It wasn’t until they were out of college for a few years that they went on a date.

Nineteen months later, they were married. They decided to buy their first house in Philo, and also to build the new house there, because it’s a halfway point between their parents’ homes and their jobs. This way, grandpa and grandma can stop by for pizza and visit Ashlyn whenever they want.

making life a little less boring and much more fun.

talk to people. We are not just here to try and sell you a product.

What is the history behind Strawberry Fields?

Strawberry Fields started out as a natural food co-op in the 1960s. It has evolved into a familyowned business. It is kind of like a natural grocery store as opposed (to) the more conventional store.

What is the best part of your job?

It’s dealing with lots of different people. I love working with different people from all over the area. It’s fun to see people excited about the same things I am excited about. It’s a job where I can focus on some of the issues I believe in.

How did you get involved with Strawberry Fields?

A friend of mine recommended (me) for a job at the cafe, and I started serving coffee there.

Then, I became cafe manager. Right before I was set to leave Champaign-Urbana, they offered me the assistant manager job.

What is in store for the future of Strawberry Fields?

We are trying different products and changing the way the store looks. We show them a different look than the mass-produced stuff you will find on Prospect Avenue.

Q & A

26

25

in Masses

29 Tough request

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community

DECEMBER 18-DECEMBER 23, 2003

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13 Pittance

in rings

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12 “Have mercy”

55 Disposal items

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51 Religious exhortation

54 Current entry points

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53 Coastline feature

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11 Taqueria order

52 Some injections

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family

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4 Proper relationship

___ Coast

gundy, e.g.

10 Ritzy

30 Years

42 Antarctica’s

7 Rose and bur-

buzz

PHOTO | ADAM YOUNG

12/17/03

41 Uncomfortable posi-

tion

44 Las ___ 48 Step, in

Seville

PHOTO | CHRISTINE LITAS

121803buzz0318

What is your favorite food?

It is the steak tacos at a little Mexican store on First Street, El Charro.

What are some of your other interests?

Most of my other interests are in politics and hanging out with my friends. I sometimes throw dinner parties and the like. I like

What attracts customers to Strawberry Fields?

I think it’s the helpfulness of the staff and the good attitude amongst us. We are much more down-to-earth and ready to help. We like to

What is the best piece of advice you have been given?

‘As above, so below.’ It basically means that whatever we believe in as an ideal, we should try in the world we live now.

121803buzz0417

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2:39 PM

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community

Although the old house is only five blocks away from the new house in Philo’s upscale Willow Run subdivision, everything needed to be loaded, transported and unloaded. Adam and Randy finished lunch and got started, moving mountains of boxes and furniture before the real move-in festivities began around 5:30, when a stream of family and friends came to help. As Adam’s friend Chris Brown joined in unloading furniture from the trailer, Adam cranked up the Poison CD mix on the garage stereo. Chris and Adam carried a wooden buffet table into the basement while Randy followed.

“This is the debatable issue—whether this should go here or not,” Adam said.

“I didn’t know you had to have the house all planned out before you moved in,” Chris said sarcastically.

“Well, he does,” Randy said.

Adam and Katy had much of the house planned out before they moved in, spending hundreds of hours meeting with the custom builder and hundreds more visiting the house daily, watching its progression and measuring wall spaces to figure out which furniture could go where. And those hours don’t even begin to compare to the hours Adam and Katy spent lying awake in bed at night, unable to sleep because their minds were racing about which cabinet color would create the most amount of warmth during mealtime, which family room layout would allow the most space for entertaining or which brick color would be most inviting to others. And which location would be best for the buffet table that will hold games and cards for the family to play.

The guys set it against a basement wall for safekeeping and decided to take a break and hang out in the new basement. Adam cracked open a Miller Lite, grabbed a Budweiser for Randy, and sat back in the wooden chair and table set that was the kitchen set at the old house.

“So you can put the Donkey Kong machine right here,” Chris said as he sectioned out an area of the wall with his hands.

“No, that’s where the jukebox will go,” Adam said.

Adam can imagine it: The Heineken beer sign glowing behind the bar while he serves his friends their drinks of choice, the jukebox blaring sounds of the ‘80s, friends relaxing on the couch while watching football on the big-screen TV. As the guys headed upstairs to get back to work, Katy pulled into the drive-

DECEMBER 18-DECEMBER 23, 2003

way in the minivan. “This is going to look so parents were divorced; she can’t remember the different to you now because there’s stuff in it,” time when they were together.

She knows that maybe unconsciously she she told Ashlyn as they entered the house. She took her to her room and showed her all the married Adam and built this house to give things Daddy had moved in that day. Ashlyn a childhood where both parents live in Meanwhile, Adam gave “the tour” to Katy’s one place, to make up for the lack of that in her sister’s husband, Frank Marquart, who had childhood. Just like Adam knows that some come to help. Frank hadn’t seen the house since part of him wanted to build this house to give Ashlyn a stable place where she wouldn’t have it was just a hole in the ground.

“If you don’t like yellow, well, you probably to move around four times before age 5, as just shouldn’t come in,” Adam said. T h e y Adam did. Moving around so much made it were going for what he calls the “Big Bird, hard for Adam to feel comfortable in each SpongeBob look.” Actually, Katy chose the home, and it made “familiarity” mean the “humble gold” paint throughout the house opposite of “home.” He and Katy hope to because it’s “cheery,” the way a home should change that. They know this house isn’t the answer to all their be. And that’s the childhood inadequaway Katy is—always cies, but they will be making sure everyhappy as long as this one is happy. When home is a place of her dad was murfamiliarity. A place dered by his second where Ashlyn can wife last year, she did always count on seewith the inheritance ing Mommy after what she thought Katy Yeazel school, where Adam would make him the can walk around in most happy: She crethe dark without stubated a college fund bing his toe, or where for Ashlyn and a still unconceived child, and built this house, a place Katy can walk from the bedroom to the laundry where new memories would be made and fam- room in her underwear to get fresh clothes for the day. ily traditions would live on.

After Frank got the house tour and the guys Her dad’s memory would live on, too. One of the first things Adam and Randy carried in was moved the coffee table and end tables into the the glass-encased wooden cabinet in which her basement, Adam’s dad, Gene, came over with dad kept antique medicine bottles and veteri- pizza. The second Ashlyn heard Grampy’s nary instruments—one of his many collections. voice, she dropped her toy and ran toward him, It stands in the guestroom and will hold items clapping her hands. Everyone sat at the new Katy kept after he died—his veterinarian lab kitchen table, where Katy fed Ashlyn and the coat and stethoscope, two of his 127 animal- guys talked about how late they wanted to stay print ties and binoculars he brought on his up and move. Adam contemplated moving the big-screen TV tonight while Randy, Chris and many safaris.

Katy’s dad had been collecting these things Frank were there to help. Tomorrow it will just for as long as she can remember, even though be Adam, Katy and Adam’s younger brother, she only saw him a couple of weeks a year Luke.

“I wouldn’t work too late, son, I really because her parents divorced when she was 5.

In her mind, it seems like a lot more days. What wouldn’t,” Gene told his boy.

“Dad,” Adam said in a calming tone, remindshe remembers of visits to her dad’s house in nearby St. Joseph has stuck in her mind vivid- ing his father not to be too bossy.

Adam understands that trait, though. He ly—how he was overjoyed when he received yet another animal-print tie as a gift and how they’d always make animal-shaped buttermilk pancakes together. It never bothered Katy much that her

[

This really feels like home to me because of the cornfields.

[

buzz

picked it up from her father, along with his dad’s waving arm gestures and his habit of often repeating people’s names when talking to them. In many ways, Adam’s dad is his best friend. He remembers playing catch with him in the yard of their Sidney home, where Adam had what he calls a Leave It To Beaver childhood. Adam would come home from school and play outside until Mom called him inside for dinner, where Adam would refuse to eat vegetables.

When Adam finished eating his pizza dinner, he stood up, blew out his cheeks and exhaled while rubbing his belly. He opened the door to the garage to hear that the music had moved on to AC/DC’s pounding “You Shook Me All Night Long.” Dad’s warning aside, the guys were pumped to work late. At 11 o’clock, the guys finally called it a night.

Adam, Katy and Ashlyn went home to sleep one more night at the old house. They were too focused on the new house to think about all the memories they had at the old house. Yet, Katy fell in love with it the minute she walked in five years ago and saw the arched doorways that reminded her of her great grandma’s house.

The arches are so quaint and charming that Adam and Katy decided to put them in the new house. They fell in love with the large backyard, where they had family parties. In their new house, they will again have a large backyard— this time with two patios and a cornfield that stretches as far as the eye can see. These cornfields remind Katy of the fields surrounding her childhood home in Tolono, where she and her sister Missy would play with the dog day in and day out. When she and Adam came to visit the new house in its beginning stages, she stood in the backyard, looked out and said to Adam, “This really feels like home to me because of the cornfields.”

Other things about the new house will remind Katy of her childhood as well. The sound of the trains roaring on the tracks about a half mile north of the new house bring her the same comfort she felt when she was little and became accustomed to the sound of the train roaring past while watching TV or doing homework. The fireplace in the family room will evoke memories of her childhood Christmas Eves, when they would turn off all the lights except for the Christmas tree and, with the fireplace blazing, watch A Christmas Carol.

Cont’d on page 19

buzz

PHONE: 217/337-8337 DEADLINE: 2 p.m. Monday for the next Thursday’s edition.

Services

100 Transportation 300 Apartments

BUSINESS SERVICES Le Therapeutic Massage. Day/ Evening/ Weekend, 10 a.m. to 10 p.m.

Only by appointment. 344-8879.

INDEX Employment Services Merchandise Transportation Apartments Other Housing/Rent Real Estate for Sale Things To Do Announcements Personals

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• PLEASE CHECK YOUR AD! Report errors immediately by calling 337-8337. We cannot be responsible for more than one day’s incorrect insertion if you do not notify us of the error by 2 pm on the day of the first insertion.

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• All employment advertising in this newspaper is subject to the City of Champaign Human Rights Ordinance and similar state and local laws, making it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement which expresses limitation, specification or discrimination as to race, color, mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual orientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, prior arrest or conviction record, source of income, or the fact that such person is a student.

• Specification in employment classifications are made only where such factors are bonafide occupational qualifications necessary for employment.

• All real estate advertising in this newspaper is subject to the Federal Fair Housing Act of 1968, and similar state and local laws which make it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement relating to the transfer, sale, rental, or lease of any housing which expresses limitation, specifications or discrimination as to race, color, creed, class, national origin, religion, sex, age, marital status, physical or mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual oientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, or the fact that such person is a student.

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DEADLINE:

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RATES:

Employment 000 HELP WANTED | Full Time Express Personnel Services 217.355.8500 101 Devonshire Dr., Champaign

HELP WANTED | Part Time MODELS NEEDED FOR LIFE DRAWING. Classes at the school of Art and Design, UIUC. Flexible hours- morning, afternoon, and evening classes. Good starting salary.

Call Linda at 333-0855 to schedule an interview. Classes begin on August 27.

HELP WANTED | Full / Part Time Come Grow with Us! We experienced a 25% growth last year and recently added yet another Americall location!

Locations: Highland, Hobart, Schereville, Dyer, Michigan City, South Bend, Indiana Champaign, Elgin, Lansing, Illinois We offer the following: *$7.50- $9.00/hr *College Scholarships *Flexible Schedules/ Hrs *Paid Vacations/ Holidays *Optional Saturdays *Health/ Life/ Dental/ 401(k) *Incentives/ Raises *Supervisory/ Mgt Positions 1(888)801-JOBS employment@americallgroup.com

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Professional Astrologer available for consultations: urgent questions (Horary); Elect optimal times for important events; forecasts., 366-7315 golden_astrology@netzero.net

FREE ESTIMATES: Tree trimming, Topping, Removal, Stump Grinding.

384-5010.

Merchandise 200

Will you get fired today, or meet your true love?

Check your horoscope to find out !

Things to Do 700

CAMPUS APARTMENTS Furnished | Unfurnished

CAMPUS EVENTS

1997 Volvo 960, 4-door loaded. $4800 OBO. c21windrealty@aol.com. 260-5800.

Brand new luxury 1, 2, 3, bedroom apartments available in Champaign.

Call Manchester Property Management at 359-0248 for an appointment.

Sororities/Fraternities. If you are looking for a foam party give us a call at Main Event Entertainment.

217-276-0618.

Apartments

400

CAMPUS APARTMENTS Furnished | Unfurnished

Exact Extraction. Carpet & upholstery cleaning. Free estimates. 6883101.

LAWN CARE

400

AUTOMOBILES

CLEANING

SPORTING GOODS

SUBLETS CLASSES Spacious one bedroom unfurnished hardwood floors $475 negotiable.

356-0809

Other Rentals 500

907 S. Second, C. Nice studio in older brick building.

Great location between Daniel and Chalmers. Parking available. NO PETS. $350 includes some utilities.

359-5115

HOUSES LAKE DEVONSHIRE 3 bedroom, 1.5 bath, 2.5 garage, fireplace, large fenced yard, $1150. 356-0053.

Would you like to take a scrapbook class in the comfort of your own home? Are you interested in scrapbooking but don’t know where to start? Give me a call!

Dawn Longfellow Scrap In A Snap Independent Consultant #21121 352-3451 or email: dawnlongfellow@yahoo.com

ROOMS

Announcements800

Furnished one bedrooms and efficiencies from $325 near John and Second or Healey and Third. 3561407

Efficiency rooms on campus $250-$310, all utilities paid. 3676626

MUSICIANS NEEDED | AVAILABLE

JOHN SMITH PROPERTY MANAGEMENT www.johnsmithproperties.com (217)384-6930 “believe the hype”

Housemates wanted for beautiful Savoy house 11 month lease, from $275-325 plus utilities. email partnow@uiuc.edu or call 907-3509298.

Experienced drummer needed for Champaign punk/rock band. Call 356-3622 or email goodbyeboxer@hotmail.com. Must be willing to leave town and record in Jan. and tour in May - June.

LaJolla bag and woods, TourEdge clubs, $350. 344-1365.

FOR SALE Danby minifridge, $80. 344-1365.

Placing your ad in buzz is as easy as 1-2-3!

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An architectural drawing of the front of the Yeazel home.

17

DECEMBER 18-DECEMBER 23, 2003 | AFTER YOU GET THAT PRESENT FROM THE GREAT AUNT THAT YOU WILL NEVER USE WE’LL HELP YOU SELL IT

Amount enclosed

Step 3: Choose your run dates

Mail this form with payment to: buzz classifieds 57 E. Green, Champaign, IL 61820 or bring it into our office at that address or at the DI @ the YMCA 1001 S. Wright St. Champaign, IL 61820

Daily Illini and Buzz Classifieds 337-8337

2:29 PM

Page 1

film

CHECK OUT DIANE KEATON NAKED. | DECEMBER 18-DECEMBER 23, 2003

Drive-thru Reviews

moviereview

SOMETHING’S GOTTA GIVE ★★★★

BY JOHN LOOS | STAFF WRITER

S

Get your

at...

Cafe Paradiso 801 S. Lincoln Ave.

BAD SANTA ★★★

PARAMOUNT FILMS

omeone should put Diane Keaton on the cover of Maxim magazine. She may be 57, but she is flat-out gorgeous. When she smiles, which she does quite a bit in this sunny romantic creation, we do see her age subtly decorate her face, but those gentle wrinkles only affirm that this woman got to where she is today without Botox injections or face lifts. She’s a natural beauty, and Something’s Gotta Give is a sexy, innocent, lighthearted celebration of her—the unsung older woman of a Hollywood obsessed with youth.

Written and directed by Nancy Meyers, the woman behind What Women Want, the film involves a sly, aging playboy named Harry (played by the epitome of sly, aging playboys— Jack Nicholson) who follows his young girlfriend Marin (Amanda Peet) to her mom’s beach house in the Hamptons. As soon as he can get his pants off, Harry is discovered in the kitchen by Marin’s mother Erica (Keaton) and her Aunt Zoe (Frances McDormand), who at first are shocked, but decide to accept the situation and let Harry stay. Not long after, Harry has a heart attack and must stay at Erica’s beach house to recuperate on orders from his doctor, Julian (Keanu Reeves).

This acceptable setup allows for Erica, a divorced playwright, and Harry, a never-married music executive, to get expectedly closer.

As soon as they do, however, it’s obvious the film isn’t about the means in which they are brought together. It’s about how two older people on the “downslide” of life discover together, to their surprise, that love truly has no expiration date. A scene in which Harry and Erica, clothed in light earthen tones, stroll down a glowing beach together near sunset has the look, feel and sound of a classic moment in cinematic history. Like Woody Allen’s scene with Keaton in Annie Hall with the Brooklyn bridge

SOMETHING’S GOTTA GIVE | JACK NICHOLSON stretching across the background, there’s a timelessness to this beach scene, and several others, thanks to Nicholson’s surprisingly gentle line delivery and Keaton’s ship-launching smile and infectious laugh.

What keeps the entire film from being as potentially classic as Annie Hall is the unfortunate devotion Meyers has to some basic plot devices. Julian, for example, begins to court Erica so as to have a rare younger man/older woman relationship to juxtapose Harry’s tailchasing reputation. While this tweak to the story has potential, and Julian is played with undeniable (and unexpected) charm by Reeves, in the end, his character never amounts to more than a symbol. He’s simply one more expected obstacle that Erica and Harry have to surmount on their journey toward each other. The film also utilizes temporary goodbyes, moments of great reconsideration, and lots of reoccurring, quirky dialogue for dramatic impact, all pillars that support almost every romantic comedy of the last 10 years.

But what makes this film unlike your normal Sandra Bullock or Julia Roberts fluff are the exchanges between Keaton and Nicholson.

They speak their age, and they speak it well, giving insight and understanding to a genre seemingly dominated by young feather-brains.

Both characters are intelligent, confused, uncertain, excitable souls, and both actors infuse them with such vitality and energy that the chemistry they share feels so beautifully rare it was probably thought extinct in American cinema. Thankfully, it is not.

In the end, however, this truly is Keaton’s film. While the always-remarkable Nicholson has some revelatory and tender moments, and the rest of the cast stands tall, the film gets its unmistakable shine from Keaton and her eversharp comic timing, her winning personality and charm, and the beauty, both inner and outer, that she effortlessly radiates throughout each scene. While at 57 most women would feel their prime has long passed them by, Keaton, in every way, is still very much embedded in hers.

She, through Erica, reminds women, and men too, that your prime is only truly over when you want it to be.

BILLY BOB THORNTON AND BERNIE MAC Any way you cut it, Bad Santa accomplishes something that has never been done before. It makes an absolute travesty of something as wholesome and serene as Christmas, and does it without falling completely on its face. Just don’t take the little ones to see it, or you’ll have a lot of explaining to do.

(Andrew Crewell) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy

BROTHER BEAR ★★ JOAQUIN PHOENIX AND PHIL COLLINS While American animators still have a long way to go to achieve the sheer grandeur and exhilarating imagination of foreign animation, such as in last year’s Spirited Away, Brother Bear shows they do have their moments. It’s just unfortunate that their visuals have to be spoiled by rudimentary plots, discardable characters and downright ugly music.(John Loos) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy

ELF ★★★ WILL FERRELL AND JAMES CAAN The film itself really makes no attempts to hide its basic premise as a Christmas movie.There’s Santa, perfectly played by Ed Asner.There’s the head elf, portrayed by Bob Newhart.There’s the grumpy, anti-Christmas guy, James Caan. (Dan Maloney) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy

GOTHIKA ★★ HALLE BERRY AND ROBERT DOWNEY JR. Halle Berry looks unattractive and Robert Downey Jr. doesn’t do drugs. If that’s not totally crazy enough, Berry also plays a psychiatrist who becomes a client. This film is doing modest business, although it is very predictable.

Now showing at Beverly and Savoy

THE HAUNTED MANSION

EDDIE MURPHY AND JENNIFER TILLY Ever since he started making kid comedies, Eddie Murphy has become sweeter than candy. This continues the trend that Eddie Murphy only makes terrible, terrible, terrible movies. that no one could possibly like if they are older than a grade-schooler. (Jason Cantone) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy

HONEY ★★ JESSICA ALBA AND LIL’ ROMEO Honey outperforms its expectations. Projected by some to be the next Glitter, Mariah Carey’s acting fiasco, the picture is a mild success. Taking the story with a grain of salt, since some scenes are straight out of another universe, there seems to be something for everyone.The dancing is fun, the kids are cute, Alba is easy on the eyes and the soundtrack is hot.These days, that’s about all anyone can ask for. (Andrew Crewell) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy

THE LAST SAMURAI ★★★★ TOM CRUISE AND KEN WATANABE The Last Samurai is an epic adventure with a great soul and a great message. With so many bad samurai movies in the vaults, it is refreshing to see a film finally relate the concept of the samurai to moviegoers in a way they can understand: a Tom Cruise flick. One of the year’s best films and one of Tom Cruise’s best performances. (John Piatek) Opening at Beverly and Savoy

LOVE ACTUALLY ★★★ HUGH GRANT AND EMMA THOMPSON The film’s delicate blend of outrageous comedic scenes, which also prove that Brits can perform slapstick and dry humor equally, mix well with heartwarming confessions from each of the characters. A holiday romantic classic for people of all generations. (Janelle Greenwood) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy

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DECEMBER 18-DECEMBER 23 | SOMEDAY SOMEONE WILL APPRECIATE MY HILARIOUS FAKE HEADLINES

Pottery verbalizes Krannert

LOVE DON’T COST A THING ★ STEVE HARVEY AND NICK CANNON All in all, Love Don’t Cost a Thing is a travesty. The story is so transparent that you could walk in twenty minutes late and not miss a beat. Instead of Milian, Cannon should stick to paying R. Kelly to make him look cool and keep releasing R&B tracks. Milian is a good-looking young lady, but can be seen elsewhere. (Andrew Crewell) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy

BY NIK GALLICCHIO | STAFF WRITER

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MASTER AND COMMANDER ★★★★

hough small, the Anna Pottery Exhibit, Plagiarism as Art, at the Krannert Art Museum has a lot to offer. In an effort to reintroduce Illinois potters to their state, the exhibit demonstrates the works of artists who were ahead of their time. The pottery currently shown at the museum was made in the late 19th century by the Kirkpatrick brothers, who settled in Anna, Ill. in 1859. Their crafts include “directory wares,” pig flasks and a snake jug.

There are only 10 directory wares known to exist, and the Krannert Art Museum currently boasts over four.

These pieces of pottery are so named because of the artwork they feature. Engraved on the clay are words that come from mundane sources like the city directory. Even the script of the lettering in these sources is matched on the jug. This obsession with reproduction is one of the most interesting facets of Anna pottery.

The Kirkpatrick Brothers were the forerunners of pop art—modern pieces take everyday concepts and juxtapose them with something

RUSSELL CROWE AND PAUL BETTANY Weir buffs will get a kick out of watching this film and remembering The Truman Show. While Truman’s aquatic-oriented scenes introduced the director’s ability to craft stimulating scenes of sea-swept peril, Master and Commander achieves a far higher degree of oceanic fanfare. It’s a glorious tale of adventure on the high seas sure to put wind in any landlubber’s sails. (Matt Pais) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy.

THE MISSING ★★★ TOMMY LEE JONES AND CATE BLANCHETT Despite its historical resonance, there’s something missing from The Missing, and after more than two long hours that something is, surprisingly, heart. What begins as a brave, passionate story of one family’s resolve winds up as little more than a sprawling, forgettable rescue mission. (Matt Pais) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy

PIECES OF APRIL ★★★★ KATIE HOLMES AND PATRICIA CLARKSON Katie Holmes yet again proves to be one of Hollywood’s greatest young talents in this heartwarming and heartsmashing black comedy. A true treat, if maybe a little late for the Thanksgiving theme it oozes. (Jason Cantone) Now showing at Beverly

SOMETHING’S GOTTA GIVE ★★★★ JACK NICHOLSON AND DIANE KEATON This truly is Keaton’s film. While the always-remarkable Nicholson has some revelatory and tender moments, and the rest of the cast stands tall, the film gets its unmistakable shine from Keaton and her ever-sharp comic timing, her winning personality and charm, and the beauty that she effortlessly radiates throughout each scene. (John Loos) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy

Highlights from the past year

STUCK ON YOU ★★★

COMPILED BY KATIE RICHARDSON | ARTS EDITOR

MATT DAMON AND GREG KINNEAR Though it is a bit longer than necessary—there are at least two places that would have made equally satisfying endings—Stuck on You remains an often hilarious, insightful comedy about finding love and happiness in the face of biological barriers. It’s a respectful mix of comedy and compassion, a formula that the Farrellys will hopefully stick with. (Matt Pais) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy

Mousetrap April 10

By Lindsey Donnell | staff writer The New Revels Players’ production of Mousetrap: A Loose Adaptation of Hamlet, forces Shakespeare’s classic play into new territory.

Hamlet is away at college and exploring his sexuality, Ophelia hopes to get into Harvard, Gertrude is a corporate power player and Horatio is a gay gallery owner.

Amy Clay, Mousetrap playwright and former University of Illinois student, drew on her

OPENING THIS WEEKEND MONA LISA SMILE

JULIA ROBERTS AND KIRSTEN DUNST Julia Roberts plays a free-spirited professor who tries to convince women at a boarding school that life isn’t all about marrying men and becoming housewives. Expect many speechs about intellectual freedom and if that doesn’t sound exciting, I don’t know what does. (Jason Cantone) Opening at Beverly and Savoy

MY LIFE WITHOUT ME

SARAH POLLEY AND SCOTT SPEEDMAN A woman with terminal cancer decides to live life to its fullest and falls in love. Nominated for Best Film at both Canada’s Goya Awards and the European Film Awards. Playing for only one week, so check it out. (Jason Cantone) Opening at Beverly

RETURN OF THE KING

ELIJAH WOOD AND IAN MCKELLAN The final installment of the Lord of the Rings trilogy could quite possibly be the best. Advance ticket sales are already available. If you don’t know what this movie is about, get out from under a rock. (Jason Cantone) Opened Wednesday ay 12:01am at Beverly and Savoy

SEABISCUIT ★★★★ TOBEY MAGUIRE AND JEFF BRIDGES Race choreographer Chris McCarron's attention to detail is a credit to the legend, and the camera work makes the viewers feel as if they are in the race. (Andrew Crewell) Opening at Boardman’s for one week

out of the ordinary. The Kirkpatricks were ahead of their time concerning style, but their political humor carved out a place in history.

The two pig flasks featured in the exhibit epitomize the Kirkpatrick wit. There is a hole in the pig’s rear out of which one can drink, and the design featured along the “Western Route” pig’s body is that of a Railroad route that runs from St. Louis to California. The humor is evident when one inspects the labels of land areas on different parts of the pig: the genitalia, for example, are named “Hot Springs,” (Arkansas) and the anus “California.” Humor was a big part of the Kirkpatricks’ art. While often overt, some of the more subtle ironic twists risk being overlooked.

Though Cornwall Kirkpatrick obsessively filled in every inch of his pottery with artwork, in “The Fifth Annual Southern Illinois Fair Directory” ware, there is a sizeable rectangle void of any sort of design. It is interesting to think about the reason behind this choice— perhaps he was poking fun at his own art style, or the blank space serves as a mirror, offering the viewer his or her own place in Kirkpatrick’s art. The various theories are mused over by resident Anna Pottery expert

experiences to write her first full-length play.

Clay also wanted to explore the psyche of the adolescent female in the context of modern pressures after reading the book Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls.

After Whiteness Oct. 9

By Matt Cohn | staff writer Art audiences and historians spend their lives trying to reconstruct the worlds in which art pieces were created. Over time, this cultural process has given birth to a self-conscious art world, to a limited extent. Some artists and historians have begun to look at art as not just a source of sensory and emotional pleasure, but also as a product that represents the social sphere in which it was produced.

The upcoming symposium at the Levis Faculty Center, “After Whiteness, Race and the From Mousetrap by Lindsey Dowell, which ran on April 10, 2003.

Visual Arts,”

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Richard Mohr. Mohr, a professor of philosophy at the University of Illinois, wrote a book on Anna Pottery and its political and artistic agendas. As a fan of the pottery and as the guest curator of the show, he encourages people to come to the exhibit to see the interesting issues the Kirkpatricks make known in their art.

“Come and see just how crazy Illinois artists can be—they’ve been crazy for over a hundred years,” Mohr said.

One of the most fascinating pieces is the snake jug. Over its surface, there are a dozen writhing snakes, the rear ends of two young men and the head of one old, grizzled man about to be devoured.

Poetically dark, this piece is theorized to take an ironic stance against Prohibition.

While the two young men seem to be diving into the contents of the jug, assumed to be alcohol, one man is finally released from the seduction of alcohol only to be old, ugly and at the end of his life.

Whatever the messages in their art, the Kirkpatricks show a mastery of craft and wit that does not deserve to be ignored. The exhibit runs until Jan. 4. buzz will serve as a forum for artists, historians and art critics who have begun exploring unconscious social biases and privileges they believe have unfairly shaded the art world.

“Whiteness consists of the presumptive, often unconscious power brought about by being classified as white in social and cultural settings,” said Suk Ja Kang Engles, a University of Illinois graduate student in Fine and Applied Arts and co-organizer (along with Tim Engles) of the symposium.

Amazing songbirds Oct. 16

By Katie Richardson | arts editor When Kristina Boerger started Amasong in 1991, the only requirement for any perspective member was to be able to hold a tune in a bucket. Six years later, Champaign-Urbana’s premier lesbian/feminist choir won a Gay/Lesbian American Music Award for its first album, The Water is Sweet Over Here.

University Professor of Journalism Jay Rosenstein calls Amasong’s accomplishment an “amazing rags to riches story,” and the ambitious documentary, Singing Out, attempts to capture that incredible tale.

The documentary, which will air on WIRO Channel 12 on Nov. 4 and 7 at 9 p.m., was made over a four-year span and focuses mainly on the musical contribution of Boerger, not only to Amasong, but to the community.

Rosenstein considers Boerger a “musical genius” and says the first time he heard the choir she started and directed for nine years, he was extremely impressed and touched by Amasong’s strong commitment to singing. He was also fascinated by the idea that a choir filled predominately with self-identified les-

PHOTO | NIK GALLICCHIO

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PHOTO | DAVID SOLANA

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bians could survive and flourish in central Illinois.

On the map Oct. 30

By Drew Frist | staff writer Urban centers like New York City, Chicago and Los Angeles have long been regarded as America’s arts capitals, touting vibrant art scenes and a ubiquitous “it-factor.” Is Champaign and Urbana’s arts community struggling to keep up with their urban counterparts?

No, says Patrick Harness, a C-U artist.

“I have lived in the United States and outside the country. I think the quality of life is more like that of a big city, but the community is small enough—and it only takes you seven minutes to get to work,” says Harness. “I chose to live here.”

Harness and other locals agree that the C-U arts scene is not the budding community of Sunday painters and the coffeehouse musicians it is popularly presumed to be. C-U is a growing and legitimate cultural force.

Ten months ago Greg Wolf, owner of the Zoo Theater Company and Actor’s Academy at the Virginia Theater and a New York transplant, was traveling from New York City to Illinois for a visit when he was introduced to C-U’s cultural and artistic scene.

“When I hit Champaign-Urbana I was very surprised and encouraged by the level of culture, the level of creativity and artistic potential,” says Wolf. “The longer I stayed here the more that I didn’t want to go anywhere else.”

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I SHOULD BE WORKING FOR THE ONION...THEY’D APPRECIATE ME! | DECEMBER 18-DECEMBER 23, 2003

Victory Gardens Theater

BY JEFF NELSON | CONTRIBUTING WRITER

wrights-in-residence with such hits as The God of Isaac and Beau Jest. His ability at situational hicago’s Victory Gardens Theater, with its comedy is nothing less than superlative as he tradition of resident playwrights and pre- can keep one-liners in the context of a fastmiering new stage works, has certainly been moving plot with great skill. He scores again on the cutting edge of the Chicago theater with a spoof on Moliere.

How many theatergoers are aware of the scene for years. Its efforts have not gone unnoticed, as it has acquired a huge subscriber list, fact that after Shakespeare, Moliere, is the most critical attention and the Tony Award for performed playwright worldwide? Though the play is set in today’s Chicago, it is full of Regional Theater in 2001.

Earlier this season, the theater gave us the Moliere’s stock characters—the young naive surprise 2003 Pulitzer Prize winner in a won- man and woman, the old fool, the greedy childerful production that continues at another dren and the con artists. Sherman never claims venue, and now a world premiere of James to be totally original, but his construction of Sherman’s Affluenza! Sherman is one of the this story of human greed and deception most successful of the Victory Gardens’ play- would make Moliere proud. He even writes this modern story in rhyming couplets, just as Moliere did!

I only wish director Dennis Zacek’s cast were as good as the material. They have their moments of inspired madness, but they often seem uneasy in this fast-paced, rhyming couplet delivery, and the level of delivery is uneven. But it is just too difficult to dislike a work so clever and a cast that tries hard even when they fail. Put this on your list for those winter weekends when you are not sure what to see and you cannot get Lion King tickets. Affluenza! continues at the Victory Gardens, 2257 N. Lincoln, AFFLUENZA! at Victory Gardens Theater, playing through until Dec. 28.

Dec. 28, 2003

Gifts Galore: PJs, Bubble Bath, Handbags, Scarves, etc.

PHOTO COURTESY OF VICTORY GARDENS THEATER

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Did you hear Circles is the perfect place for all your holiday gifts?

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buzz

ARTIST CORNER

P

aul Serbin is a University of Illinois English student who department teachers love to hate and fellow students love. A powerhouse of energy, Serbin walks with an upturned collar and a cigarette carelessly stuck in his mouth, requesting the Paradiso barista surprise him with the flavor of his tea. Trying to capture Serbin in ink is the problem Jack Kerouac faced when striving to force the personality of Neal Cassady into volumes of books. In conversation, Serbin jumps from one subject to the next, with little segue in between, save his catch phrase: “It’s a funny story...,” which works its way into every conversation.

University student Rachel Toler smiles knowingly while describing the man, the myth, the legend: “When you first meet Paul, chances are that he’ll probably say something completely politically incorrect and offensive.

But once you get to know him, you realize that he doesn’t necessarily mean what he says—he’s just too lazy to explain what he really means.”

He bakes, he writes poetry and he’s got your back in a fight—what more could you want in a man?

What do you write about?

The bulk of what I write about is what I’ve experienced. I have a diverse background, and I enjoy meeting people who are different from me. I like to try to find out what their perspectives on life are. I get a lot out of talking to people and observing them—what drives them. Universally, I think people want to be understood. Hatred stems from a lack of voice and writing gives you that voice.

How do you view your art?

I think art is meant to be performed—my art, anyway. On the page, it doesn’t hold much power, but when I perform it, it becomes meaningful. I like to make life theatrical—to add a little spice.

EDITOR’S NOTE: These 10 films were selected by lead reviewer Matt Pais. Because of the Academy Awards season, many high quality films are either not released until Dec. 31 (the last day that a film can open to be considered for this year’s Oscars) or do not expand to cities such as Champaign-Urbana until early 2004.

Oscar hopefuls such as Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (which recently won Best Picture from the New York Film Critics), Big Fish, Cannes Film Festival winner Elephant, 21 Grams, House of Sand and Fog and Monster could not be considered for this list. Each of the following 10 films have either been shown in a local theater or are now available on DVD at local video stores.

ple to better understand themselves.

Where’s the best place to find conversation?

Wherever I am. Kidding. Nah, it doesn’t matter where you are, but when. It’s gotta be late at night at a coffeehouse or Perkins.

There’s people out there that just want to talk, they don’t care what about. You can’t just go somewhere and find conversation, you’ve gotta make it. You’ve gotta weed it out of yourself and who you’re talking to.

In three words, how would you describe yourself?

(Chuckling) There’s no way.

In the valleys rushed the strawberry farmers like cockroaches caught in the light, eagerly snatching up the lowly migrant workers, who hurriedly packed the pickups, combatting for any open spot, any little area contorting their bodies to cram in,

107 N. Walnut Downtown Champaign 359.2195

open untill 8 pm thursday & friday

behind.

Trucks roared around this tiny dustbowl packed to the brim with fresh batches of immigrants.

Hours on hours of backbreaking toil in the dry heat and suffocating smog, fingers blistered and burned, backs ached, faces scorched, mouths dried, and eyes burned, all for a buck— perhaps enough to buy some food for that night, just enough to feed the little ones— perhaps not.

film

| LET THE ACADEMY SEE THIS LIST.

BY MATT PAIS | LEAD REVIEWER

unwilling to be left

Why do all the teachers hate you and all the students love you?

Well, I don’t think ALL the teachers hate me. I think people don’t like my unwillingness to conform. I don’t think I’m above the rules—I just don’t like them. To me, the rules in place aren’t conducive to a learning environment. There shouldn’t be such a hierarchy in teaching. The professor shouldn’t come into the classroom presenting himself as above the students. Experience shouldn’t dictate power—leadership roles should come from your ability to guide peo-

buzz DECEMBER 18-DECEMBER 23, 2003

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Quiet Girls and violent Bill : 2003’s best films

BY NIK GALLICCHIO | STAFF WRITER

PHOTO | NIK GALLICCHIO

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1. All the Real Girls

In a year full of loud, violent epics, the best movie is also the quietest. Writer/director David Gordon Green effortlessly gives All the Real Girls the calm texture of a Midwestern stream, and every scene is almost lulling in its hushed passion. Paul Schneider and Zooey Deschanel turn in moving, simple performances, emphasized by the year’s most gloriously stripped-down dialogue. This is one of the most vivid, entrancing presentations of young love ever made, but the true beauty of the thrillingly original All the Real Girls is that it doesn’t just look like love; it feels like it as well.

2. Kill Bill: Volume One

Quentin Tarantino’s obscenely violent ode to his most indulgent ‘70s influences is pretentious to the point of selfishness, but it’s also the most dizzyingly exciting two hours of film this year. Kill Bill: Volume One chops all those involved into little pieces: characters and audience members, conventions and expectation. Its soul is invigoratingly frantic, amplifying its sources—which range from

blaxploitation to kung fu to anime to spaghetti Westerns—with a sneering modernism that is pure Tarantino. But the most deadly thing about Kill Bill is having to wait until February for Volume Two.

3. Lost in Translation

There’s a certain mystifying intangibility to Lost in Translation, like a vacation that doesn’t seem great until it’s over. Floating through separate stays in Japan, Bill Murray and Scarlett Johannson find in each other a spiritual, not romantic, soul mate. With this, Sofia Coppola’s funny, dreamlike drama offers a realistically indefinable relationship that spectacularly captures the giddy intoxication of newfound emotional connection. The platonic bond shared between Murray and Johannson, and the movie itself, have an unspoken exquisiteness worth discussing for many days after first viewing.

4. American Splendor

Harvey Pekar spent every day as a malevolent caricature, so it was only appropriate that he would turn his life into a blue-collar comic book. American Splendor, the film adaptation of Pekar’s series of the same name, has a wonderfully unique visual style that tells its triumphantly regular story from the outside, inside, front and back. In chronicling Pekar’s humdrum life as a cartoonishly grumpy Cleveland medical clerk, Shari Springer Berman and Robert Pulcini mix live-action with animation and cinematic recreation with behind-the-scenes silliness. Hilarious, heartfelt and featuring a breakout performance from Paul Giamatti, the power of American Splendor and its comic-book-come-to-life atmosphere make The Hulk look tame.

5. The Station Agent

The diminutive Peter Dinklage may not be tall, but every scene of the The Station Agent benefits from his giant presence. As Fin, a dwarf forced to rethink his isolationist tendencies when he meets two other loners, Dinklage finds an endearing open-

ness beneath Fin’s closed-off exterior. This sweet, softly memorable film about the way that personal hobbies and mutual loneliness can spark the deepest friendships shows that small-bodied movies—and actors—sometimes have the biggest hearts.

minutes of The School of Rock, the year’s most winningly mainstream comedy. Undeniably formulaic but irresistibly amusing, this uplifting tale of a slacker who forms an all-kid band doesn’t just rock. It’s the most fun, smile-inducing movie of 2003.

6. Thirteen

8. Whale Rider

One of the most culturally troubling films in a while, Thirteen easily could have turned out as a big screen after-school special. On the contrary, this gritty, documentary-style drama sculpts a haunting and altogether believable portrait of young girls experimenting with sex, drugs and masochism. There are several moments of teenage angst that have been seen before, just not like this. With saddened sincerity, Thirteen shows the many holes into which vulnerable young girls can fall. It doesn’t suggest that such amoral descent is probable but shows, with graphic honesty, that it is indisputably possible.

7. The School of Rock

A lot of people might not get Mike White’s twisted sense of humor or Richard Linklater’s spirited indie direction. Even more people probably find Jack Black more annoying than a lifetime supply of 1-800-Collect commercials.

But those people would be hard-pressed to keep a straight face for more than a few

Keisha Castle-Hughes is a marvel in the gentle, allegorical Whale Rider, which tells a culturally specific tale without any of the generic indifference of Bend it Like Beckham, Real Women Have Curves, or the holy grail of foreign idiocy, My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Rather, Niki Caro’s thoughtful, inspirational telling of an old Maori legend feels respectfully ethnic but gratifyingly universal. Whale Rider manages to be satisfying without being saccharine, and Hughes, only 11 at the time of filming, is truly unforgettable. I can’t remember the last debut performance that took me on such a ride.

9. Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World

Russell Crowe always announces his Oscar eligibility with a big, dramatic boom, but no movie boomed louder this year than Master and Commander. Directed with historical gusto by Peter Weir, this epic of ocean-size proportions counters its grand battle sequences with tranquil, slower sequences that develop the crew of the HMS Surprise as far more than seafaring stereotypes. This sweeping adaptation of two of Patrick O’Brian’s legendary novels is more than a history lesson; in the most thrilling, human way, Weir brings the past to life.

10. The Shape of Things

Back in characteristically cynical form for the first time since Your Friends and Neighbors, Neil LaBute envisions the relationships between male and female college students as a battleground of egocentric deception. While he fails slightly as a director—the film still feels like the off-Broadway play it is based on—LaBute the writer delivers acidtongued barbs that land harder than Master and Commander’s cannonballs. While All the Real Girls articulates the power of love with the directness of Cupid’s arrow, The Shape of Things plays out with the devilish poison of Cupid’s evil twin.

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STUCK ON YOU ★★★

BY MATT PAIS | LEAD REVIEWER

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hey’ve made movies about idiots licking lamp posts, idiots stalking women and idiots with higher standards than Justin Timberlake. So it’s not especially surprising that the next move for the writing and directing team of Peter and Bobby Farrelly would be to make a movie about idiots who never leave each other’s side. Literally.

Except the refreshing thing about Stuck on You is that conjoined twins Walt (Greg Kinnear) and Bobby Tenor (Matt Damon) aren’t complete morons in the way that Farrelly characters usually are. Whereas the protagonists of Dumb and Dumber, There’s Something about Mary and Shallow Hal were all dimwitted clods and prompted humor based on the audience laughing at them, the Farrellys’ latest movie finally realizes that stronger comedy comes from being able to laugh with the hapless heroes.

The film makes that pretty easy throughout with pointed, amusing jabs at the way that the

moviereview

LOVE DON’T COST A THING ★

BY ANDREW CREWELL | STAFF WRITER

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BOY THOSE FARRELLY BROTHERS LIKE THINGS THAT ARE STICKY. | DECEMBER 11-DECEMBER 17, 2003 buzz

ove Don’t Cost a Thing is a feel-good movie that just doesn’t make anyone feel good enough. Nick Cannon, Kristina Milian and Steve Harvey tell the same old story, but with an MTV feel that will annoy the audience right out of the theater.

Sixteen years ago, Can’t Buy Me Love came out starring Patrick Dempsey and Seth Green.

Now, in 2003, Warner Brothers packaged the same old garbage with a new wrapping and released it under a new name. Whereas the original had its charm—that innocent 1980s teen romance magic which encompassed an entire genre of movies—this ghetto rerun seems humorous at first but wears on viewers as the film progresses.

Nick Cannon stars as a rich gigolo who spends all of his money to make Christina Milian his girlfriend. His downtrodden social life wears on him, and he decides he only has one last chance to rectify his bad public image before he leaves for college to be a professional engi-nerd. The remedy: for all the “cool” kids in school to see him hanging out with the most

public perceives anyone who falls outside the majority. The Tenor brothers are mocked constantly, but there’s a well-meaning kindness to the jokes in Stuck on You. Such heart didn’t beat nearly as earnestly in Shallow Hal, which only imitated empathy at its end after ridiculing all things fat and ugly for the entirety of the film.

Instead, the inspired humor in Stuck on You comes largely from the many difficulties that Walt and Bobby experience while living their lives as conjoined twins.

And the obstacles are countless: the Tenor brothers play football, golf, tennis, hockey and baseball, and even operate their own shortorder burger joint in their small Massachusetts town. But when Walt’s dreams of becoming an actor take them to Hollywood, the Tenors must confront judgmental L.A. types and show the world that normal is a state of mind.

That the film does effectively normalize Walt and Bobby while still drawing laughs from their everyday plights—hilarious adjustments are made to create privacy during showers and sex—is only one of its surprising successes. The Farrellys have made a career laughing at the mentally and physically challenged, but this time the jokes are more inclusive and that much funnier. Gone is the impression that they want viewers to look around self-consciously while laughing; the Farrellys seem to be through crossing boundaries just for the sake of shrugging their shoulders at the lines of good taste.

Now, they’ve learned to investigate the feelings and experiences that come from being an popular girl, the girl of everyone’s dreams.

After fixing Milian’s crashed Escalade for free to get her out of a jam, Cannon proposes she pose as his girlfriend. In two weeks, he goes from geeky pool boy to romantic juggernaut and lives the life he always thought he wanted.

The problems with this film are so deeply rooted that it’s hard to find a place to start, but the greatest tragedy of all is the script. It would be easy to blame Cannon, but somewhere, there have to be idiots writing this tacky dialogue.

Every word out of Cannon’s mouth is a joke, and he truly looks like a 14-year-old suburban boy mimicking BET’s 106th and Park circa 2001.

Not to entertain the possibility that Snoop’s personal language won’t stand the test of time, but when this film does its “thizzle,” it just doesn’t work out.

Another problem is the fanatical product placement. Sean John apparel is apparently the best thing since sliced bread, and any kid that goes to high school without it has no chance to be cool. Along with Nike, Cadillac, Burberry, Prada and countless others, the film probably paid for itself in endorsement deals.

Not everything is horrible though; Steve Harvey is a breath of fresh air. As Cannon’s father, Harvey gives a comedic performance while backing up his son’s attempt to get with the ladies. His constant singing and dancing to Al Green and Earth, Wind and Fire is proof that this film doesn’t completely follow the storyline of its predecessor, and provides some sort of name recognition the movie horribly needs to increase audience interest. But unfortunately, it is too little, too late.

STUCK ON YOU | MATT DAMON, GREG KINNEAR pushed to the side as a friend to the brothers.

Spending the majority of her time onscreen in a bikini, Mendes was clearly hired for her body rather than her acting, but in that sense, the casting couldn’t be better.

Though it is a bit longer than necessary— there are at least two places that would have made equally satisfying endings—Stuck on You remains an often hilarious, insightful comedy about finding love and happiness in the face of biological barriers. It’s a respectful mix of comedy and compassion, a formula that the Farrellys will hopefully stick with.

THE LAST SAMURAI ★★

All in all, Love Don’t Cost a Thing is a travesty. The story is so transparent that you could walk in 20 minutes late and not miss a beat.

Instead of paying Milian, Cannon should stick to paying R. Kelly to make him look cool and keep releasing R&B tracks. Milian is a goodlooking young lady, but can be seen elsewhere.

And if it’s the story that’s interesting—not that everyone can’t guess how it ends—the original is cheaper to rent and the snacks are cheaper at home.

SCREEN REVIEW GUIDE

★★★★ ★★★ ★★ ★ no stars

Flawless Good Mediocre Bad Unwatchable

DECEMBER 18-DECEMBER 23, 2003 | WHAT ABOUT KID ROCK’S NEW ALBUM??

BY BRIAN MERTZ | MUSIC EDITOR

C-UViews

LOVE DON’T COST A THING | NICK CANNON

buzz

Buzz’s favorite albums of 2003

anomaly rather than just exploiting the pain.

Of course, the Farrellys still aren’t above subjecting Walt and Bobby to a few pratfalls or slapstick shots to the face. Some of the gags land with an awkward thud, and the film moves with a strange streakiness that could be mapped with a sine curve. But when it’s funny, it’s really funny, and even when it’s not, Stuck on You has a good-natured glee that keeps things entertaining at the points when the comedy strikes out.

Much of that comes from the delightful performances of Kinnear and Damon, who help establish Walt and Bobby as legitimate people rather than as a walking deformity to be demoralized. Kinnear has the juicier role, as Walt’s enthusiasm and persistence livens things up when Bobby becomes predictably downcast about his lot in life. Together, however, the two Oscar nominees are perfectly matched, and the obvious fun that they have in playing the cheerful Tenor brothers only bolsters the giddy enjoyment of the film itself.

A startling number of familiar faces appear throughout Stuck on You, each employed to varying purpose. Seymour Cassel is side-splittingly hilarious as a Hollywood agent who hasn’t learned anything new about the business in a few decades, and Meryl Streep’s cameo further confirms the actress as one of the industry’s hippest matriarchs.

Cher doesn’t fare quite as well in a role that’s meant to be ironic but merely feels appropriately obnoxious, and Eva Mendes is largely

WARNER BROTHERS FILMS

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Lindsay Lichtenberg Champaign

“I hate ninjas.”

★★★ Brian Van Brussel Champaign

“Cruise’s best performance since Days of Thunder.”

★★★★ Ehab El-Khabiry Champaign

“It’s a gross misrepresentation of Japanese culture, but it had good action.”

End of the year Top 10 lists always seem to be hard for me to put together. Either I’m stuck with one of those stellar years where there are about 25 albums that all could be on the Top 10 list in a different year, or there are a handful of standouts and then a struggle to fill out the rest of the list. This year was a mixture of both, which made it even harder.

Anyhow, here are my Top 10 of 2003. You can love ‘em or hate ‘em. Just remember that it can’t be bullshit to state a preference.

1. Postal Service - Give Up This was at the top of my list since its release early in the year and nothing ever came close to knocking it off. Somehow the happy electronic beats of Jimmy Tamborello and the emo lyrics and lilting voice of Ben Gibbard fit perfectly.

Give Up will inspire tons of indie kids to pick up some sequencers and drum machines and also convince the dance kids to find guitars.

2. Saxon Shore - Four Months of Darkness Very rarely have I ever put a five-song EP on my Top 10 lists. And never has there been a purely instrumental album. But Four Months of Darkness floored me the first time I heard it and still deeply moves me with every listen. I never thought that there was a way to completely capture melancholy on an album, but Saxon Shore did. Four Months of Darkness can be a tough album to track down, but when you are feeling sad or just quiet, it is indispensable.

3. Absinthe Blind - Rings For as much as I’ve written about Absinthe Blind, I have never written a full review of Rings. And I don’t intend to start here in this little space. I’ll just state two simple things.

First, for about three weeks straight, this album was the only music I listened to.

Second, Rings was without a doubt the best local album in 2003.

4. Radiohead - Hail To The Thief Don’t accuse me of trying to earn cred points by putting HTTT at number four. Over time it became clear that this album isn’t as astounding as originally thought. With that said, it still is at number four because Radiohead still know how to make intelligent, groundbreaking music. They just didn’t break as much ground as they could have with this release.

5. Cardia - Cardia When I was first handed a CD that was billed as the new projects for former members of The Verve Pipe and Rival Schools I cringed.

I hate those bands. But I love Cardia. These boys simply know how to write great songs.

Top that off with soaring falsettos that can only be beat by that guy from The Darkness, and you have an intensely beautiful album.

6. Mates of State - Team Boo I’m not sure if it is the music or the trying times that I was going through when I first got my hands on Team Boo, but I have a deep bond

with this album. Musically, Mates deserve praise for sticking to their sound, but still pushing it in new directions. And their track, “Parachutes (Funeral Song)” is without a doubt the best song of the year in my book.

7. Tim Deluxe - The Little Ginger Club Kid Finally, a dance album makes this DJ’s Top 10 list. This album could make next year’s list too, because Little Ginger Club Kid hasn’t even been released in the U.S. yet. This album hearkens back to the golden era of house, from 1998-2000, when tunes made your feet move, they uplifted your soul and they never once gave off the aura of being stupid.

BY JACOB DITTMER | ASSISTANT MUSIC EDITOR So much music comes out every week, let alone in a year, that it is always hard to encapsulate the year’s “best.” This year didn’t see any standout stellar albums like last year’s Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots and Yankee Hotel Foxtrot. But it did offer a lot of lower-key quality records from some new and up-and-coming artists.

There were some big hitters (The White Stripes, The Strokes, Radiohead) releasing records that drew a lot of praise from the mainstream, but this list is for the l e s s e r k n o w n artists that deserve equal praise.

PHOTO | CHRISTINE LITAS

8. Longwave - The Strangest Things There is something impressive about a band that can do the retro-garage sound for a few songs and then switch it up and do heartwarming emo songs. Even more impressive is that The Strangest Things is solid from start to finish—a rare quality in today’s music world.

9. Death Cab for Cutie - Transatlanticism It is the year of the Gibbard. Here, back with his bandmates from Seattle, Gibbard and the rest of Death Cab do what they do best: craft songs that make you think, make you cry and make you rock out all at once.

10. d-Lo & Spinnerty - Play It On The Porch I’ll admit that I don’t know a ton about hip hop. But I do know the good stuff when I hear it (and I don’t mean Bone Crusher). Local hiphop DJs d-Lo and Spinnerty not only packed this mix CD with the good stuff, but their mixing skills have wowed even those most picky DJs. This mix is so good that it even made URB magazine’s Top 10 mix CDs of 2003.

1. d-Lo and Spinnerty - Play it on the Porch Local DJs d-Lo and Spinnerty created a masterful mix CD with Play it on the Porch. Sure, it isn’t a complete original work, but d-Lo and Spinnerty managed to blend each song into the next without ever boring the listener. From start to finish this CD entertains even the most complacent of listeners, forcing them to bob their heads to the beat. It’s refreshing to know that right here in C-U there are some amazing DJs that can make a sweet-ass mix.

2. Atmosphere – Seven’s Travels Atmosphere and their label Ryhmesayers did well for themselves with Seven’s Travels.

Semi-major and notorious punk label Epitaph picked up Atmosphere’s third album, giving it just enough boost for national attention. MC Slug and Ant scored big with this release, whose single, “Trying to Find a Balance,” has managed to find a home on MTV2. Fans of this record should check out Brother Ali’s release.

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3. M83 – Dead Cities, Read Seas & Lost Ghosts Basically we have to thank pitchforkmedia.com for finding this excellent album. This music is as if Beethoven had risen from the grave and figured out how to create electronic music. This French duo utilizes all the trappings of quality classical music with the wondrous capabilities of electronic music to make an amazing record.

4. My Morning Jacket – It Still Moves My Morning Jacket’s third release continues on the track of creating quality southern folkrock. Singer/songwriter Jim James makes some of the best five-minute pop songs of the year. A modern day amalgam of the Band and Neil Young, My Morning Jacket’s music manages to draw the listener in as it travels across a broad range of sounds.

5. Menomena – I am the Fun Blame Monster Every year there are CDs that just grab you from the first drum beat. Menomena came out of nowhere (Portland, to be exact) with their debut album, which manages to craft a luscious layering of sound. These guys are just awesome musicians and they crafted an awesome sound.

6. The Decemberists – Her Majesty At the helm of the Decemberists lies Colin Meloy, whose lyrics are tales of a place and time that isn’t anything like 2003. Found on Her Majesty are some of the most intelligent songs of the year and manage to incorporate words like truncate and callow. (When’s the last time you heard Justin Timberlake say truncate?)

7. Grandaddy – Sumday Modesto’s Grandaddy managed to follow up the breathtaking beauty of Sophtware Slump with Sumday (love those puns). This album sounds like an environmental activist version of Radiohead, with the melding of electronic sounds to their folky acoustic sound.

8. Andrew Bird – Weather Systems This is a surprisingly excellent album given its minimalist creation and sound. Andrew Bird decided to give a stripped sound to his first solo effort apart from his backing band Bowl of Fire. This is largely Bird’s album with his voice, violin and whistle coming together perfectly.

9. Sufjan Stevens – Michigan Sufjan Steven has made a concept album about Michigan that evokes so much of what the state is like. Not only that, but he manages to play 25 instruments, which makes this an excellent orchestral pop record.

10. The Shins – Chutes to Narrow This is a perfect follow-up to a stunning debut. It expands on the sound of Oh, Inverted World with crisper production, sharper melodies, and a lovely exploration of ‘60s-style folk pop. In a year full of amazing pop albums, these unlikely New Mexicans pull through with an album that we’ll be replaying for years to come.

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WHY ISN’T ST. ANGER ON THE TOP TENS? | DECEMBER 18-DECEMBER 23, 2003

MENDOZA MUSIC LINE

BY SETH FEIN | STAFF WRITER Here are 10 great records that were released in 2003. They are not “the best.”

When publications like Spin and Punk Planet try to tell kids what “the best” is, you know it’s a bunch of horseshit. So, here are just 10 great records, in order of what I thought was “the best”—but they are definitely not “the best.” The best is your list. But you knew that, didn’t you? All of them are available at www.parasol.com and all of them are worth your attention.

10. Isolation Years - Inland Traveller (Galaxy Gramaphone) Technically, this album came out in 2001, but it didn’t make an appearance in the U.S. until Jim Kelly and Lisa Bralts-Kelly (of Parasol) decided that it needed to. Their new label, Galaxy Gramaphone, should be releasing great music from Sweden year-round if things go as planned.

9. Spiritualized - Amazing Grace (Sanctuary) Jason “Spaceman” Pierce returned this year, stripped down and ready to rock for the first time since Spacemen 3. While this record is not as dynamic as his previous outings, it taught me one very important thing: never, ever quesion your heroes. They know what they are doing.

8. The Mercury Program/Maserati - Confines of Heat (Kindercore) Sure, I’ll admit that I am biased here. My guitarist played this tour and these bands are friends of mine. But this split is absolutely one of the most beautiful compositions of postrock that I’ve heard in some time. Each song is unique and builds the way that good songs are supposed to: very slowly.

7. The Mars Volta - De-Loused in the Comatorium (Strummer) The Mars Volta bucked the system and released the best prog-rock record since King Crimson and YES were dominating. An all-out onslaught of noise manipulation and falsetto vocal styling, this album is unlike anything you’ve ever heard.

6. A Perfect Circle - Thirteenth Step (Virgin) This album crept in at the last second thanks to a trip to Columbus, Ohio, in November.

Undeniably one of the great vocalists of all time, Maynard James Keenan outdoes himself again on this record that is surprisingly mellow, yet hits hard at all the right places. It reminds me of why the right distortion pedal can make all the difference.

5. Cat Power - You Are Free (Matador) Despite reports of wacked-out stage shows, Chan Marshall absolutely redefined the precedent for intimacy in recordings with her first album of new material since 1998’s Moon Pix. This is real music. The lyrics are honest and heartfelt; the songs drip with passion. Instead

of merely relying on her beautiful voice and a penchant for simple, dramatic piano work, her songs are filled with psychedelic undertones and musicianship that is second to none.

4. Broken Social Scene - You Forgot it in People (Arts and Crafts) A nine-piece collective from the great Canadian city of Toronto, BSS kicked it the oldschool way: self-produced, self-released and self-promoted. A huge nod from the chumps at Pitchfork and an album that screams “eclectricity” gave this band an enormous amount of cred in the states. Their show at the Empty Bottle was one of the highlights of my year.

3. Wayne Everett - Kingsqueens (Northern) First he was the drummer in Prayer Chain.

Then he graduated to Starflyer 59. When he dropped the sticks and picked up the mic in The Lassie Foundation, it seemed he had found his true calling. But not until he wrote and recorded his very own album did he make such a bold and awesome statement on the world of music. Just the percussion alone on this album would have made my Top 10. He uses metaphor like an experienced poet and his songs are reminiscent of the greats like XTC, The Beatles and Neil Young.

2. The Postal Service - Give Up (Subpop) When I heard that Ben Gibbard of Death Cab for Cutie had a side project, I prepared myself for the worst. Side projects are usually a selfish thing to do and end up being huge disappointments. No one was prepared for The Postal Service. His collaboration with Jimmy Tamborello (aka Dntel) is electro-pop at it’s finest. Gibbard sings like he means it on each song and the album is consumed by terrific beats, well-defined melody and terse, heartbreaking lyrics. I still listen to this record on a weekly basis despite its release in February. This album changed the way indie rockers look at their shoes.

1. Skeletons - Life and the Afterbirth (Shinkoyo) I could write a full page on why this album took number one for me. I could go through all the reasons why it is the best album I’ve heard since Glifted released Under and In last year.

Granted, along with Slowdive’s Souvlaki and My Bloody Valentine’s Loveless, they are kindred spirits. I could tell you all these things.

Instead, I challenge each one of you to just order this record. If you don’t like it, I’ll buy it from you.

It’s only available at www.shinkoyo.com and it’s worth much more than a measly 10 bucks. It will be the best thing you’ve done for yourself all year.

The Honorable Mentions: Death Cab For Cutie - Transatlanticism; Twilight Singers Blackberry Belle; American Analog Set - Promise of Love; Mates of State - Team Boo; Explosions in the Sky - The Earth is Not a Cold Dead Place; Denali - The Instinct.

Seth Fein is from Urbana and graduated from the University of Illinois with a degree in creative writing. As you can see, academics don’t mean shit. He will literally buy that record from you if you don’t like it. He can be reached at sethfein@readbuzz.com.

CDReviews

Top 10 List, Not “The Best”

JOHNNY DEPTH Johnny Depth ★★★

BY BRIAN MERTZ Feel free to dismiss most aspects of electronic music as easy. It’s easy to dance to.

It’s easy to listen to (some people say its so easy to listen to that it’s boring). And to be perfectly honest, it’s pretty easy to DJ once you get the hang of it. But one thing you can’t say is easy is actually making it.

Many miles separate the good producers and the hacks.

That’s bound to be the case when millions of people around the globe spend hours pouring over sequencers and drum machines trying to make songs. One of those people is in our own backyard, and thankfully, he is closer to good than he is to hack.

Johnny Depth (otherwise known as soon-to-be University of Illinois graduate Tony Macada) has found a way to create music that takes a touch of rock-solid vocals, some wonderful piano work, a whole lot of electronic wizardry and a dash of completely off-the-wall humor to make a sound all his own.

Things at times are a little weird (to put it very mildly) with Johnny Depth. On the track,“Download Your Life Away”—an ode to the joys of stealing MP3s, Johnny and friends talk about the tools of their pirating trades.“I’ve got DSL braugh / It’s bad-ass dude. / I just got some Motley Crue / That fucking

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shit rules dude.” So it’s not Bob Dylan writing the lyrics here.

But the track is funny and that’s mostly the point.

Until you get to the standout track on this album,“Rollin,” its hard to view Johnny Depth as something other than someone messing around with some computer programs and a guitar. But when the cascading piano and the thumping bass beat of “Rollin” gets going, it is hard not to think that the guys from Orbital might have started with tracks like this.

And it instantly makes you see all the special things in the rest of this album.

The problem right now with Johnny Depth’s 15 tracks is a lack of focus. Perhaps that eclectic quality will appeal to some, but it is hard for a listener to go from a tongue-incheek cover of “Heal The World” to the minimalist electroemo sounds of “Deep Rest.”This is not to say that the humor should be abandoned. We have enough Depeche Mode knockoffs as is in the electronic world who are too sad for anyone’s sanity. Humor is a good thing. But it should be used wisely instead of so insanely over the top.The ridiculousness obscures the truly impressive compositions such as “I Lie” and “Deep Rest.”

Macada’s voice is also another plus for this album.There is a little bit of sadness in a lot of the lines he sings, but it never gets to the point of being whiny.

Fans of Kenna, Dntel and The Notwist who have senses of humor will clearly get what is going on here. And while the rest of the public might take a little time to come around to Johnny Depth’s quirks, the musical skills exhibited on this album guarantee that people will eventually make it around to appreciating this work.

If you want to check out more of Johnny Depth, you’re not going to be able to find him in stores yet. And since those bastards over at CNET bought up MP3.com, you should point your Web browser over to http://www.funender.com/music/bands/178 and download your life away. Or at least download some of Johnny Depth’s tunes.

MUSIC REVIEW GUIDE

★★★★ ★★★ ★★ ★ no stars

Flawless Good Mediocre Bad Un-listenable

Disappointments of 2003

1. The RIAA sues individual consumers

Just when you thought the record industry couldn’t get any greedier, the Recording Industry decided to sue hundreds of individual file-traders.The insanity (or depravity) reached an alltime low when a 12-year-old girl got sued for downloading “Happy Birthday.” Most cases were settled out of court, costing individual music fans tens of thousands of dollars. It’s great to see Lars Ulrich finally got what he wanted.

2. All-ages venues closed down in C-U

At the beginning of 2003, music fans in ChampaignUrbana were lamenting the small number of all-ages venues in 2003. The problem only managed to get worse when the city of Urbana closed down the Independent Media Center’s performance space.

There was a glimmer of hope when Paradiso started booking shows, but that space didn’t last long. Let’s all hope 2004 sees the opening of several new all-ages venues.

3. Deaths

Every year at the Academy Awards they do that movie of all the year’s deaths. We can’t do that, but some legends did pass this year, and they will be missed. Johnny Cash was just regaining a name for himself, Jammaster Jay of Run-DMC left us and sadly Elliot Smith took his own life.

4. Assembly Hall reels in crap again

The biggest venue in Champaign-Urbana once again dropped the ball on booking quality shows.

Aside from an awesome Pearl Jam and Sparta show, the lineup was lackluster to say the best. John “I wanna be Dave” Mayer, Nickelback (twice in the same year!), Matchbox 20, The Blue Man Group and the ultimate rock force, The Scorpions, made more people shake their heads than buy tickets. Next year, look for bands that actually get respect before booking them at the Hall. And don’t book Nickelback again. Ever.

5. Zwan

A band that had this much talent should have put out a better album. And they should have lasted a lot longer. Billy Corgan’s mood swings once again ruined a great live band.

Chicago will have to keep waiting for its rock ‘n’ roll savior to arrive.

Reader’s top five 1. Andrew WK - The Wolf 2. Metallica - St. Anger 3. Pennywise - From Ashes 4. Ludacris - Chicken and Beer 5. G-Unit - Beg for Mercy Submitted by Jeff Stahl

Next week: Top five holiday songs What’s yours? E-mail us at music@readbuzz.com.

buzz

calendar

DECEMBER 18-DECEMBER 23, 2003 | WANT TO GET YOUR EVENT LISTED ON OUR CALENDAR? Send your listings to calendar@readbuzz.com

Thu 12-4pm, Fri 12-8pm, Sat 10am-6pm. 220 W Washington St, Monticello.

Art Classes at High Cross Studio – All classes are held at High Cross Studio in Urbana. 1101 N High Cross Rd. Email or call for reservations and details. (217) 367-6345 or spiritofsandra@hotmail.com.

“Portrait Paintings with Oils” – This course will provide instruction in painting portraits from photographs. Paint a portrait of your loved one or yourself. Mon-Fri daytime class and weekend workshop offered.

“Collage for the Soul” – Students will learn a variety of collage techniques, including photo and photocopy transfer, papermaking and manipulation, and frontage, while exploring a particular subject, such as a place, a memory, an experience or a relationship. No art-making experience necessary.

“Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain” – For adults who have always wanted to learn to draw, but felt they lacked talent or confidence.

Other Classes:“Making Monoprints,”“Art With Intention” – (Open Studio). For information on these visit http://www.spiritofsandra.com and click on “classes,” then e-mail or call for reservations.

ART EXHIBITS & GALLERIES Boneyard Pottery – Ceramic art by Michael Schwegmann and more. 403 Water St, Champaign. Tue-Sat 11am-5pm.

355-5610.

Broken Oak Gallery – Local and national artists. Original art including photography, watercolors, pottery, oil paintings, colored pencil, woodturning and more.

Refreshments served by the garden all day Saturday.

1865 N 1225 E Rd, White Heath. Thu-Sat 10am-4pm. 7624907.

Cafe Kopi – Photographs from self-taught photographer Lisa Billman on display through December. 109 N Walnut, Champaign. Mon-Thu 7am-11pm, Fri-Sat 7am-12pm, Sun 11am-8pm. 359-4266.

Cinema Galley – Local and regional artists including many University of Illinois and Parkland College faculty members. Currently on display through Dec 24:“Dennis Rowan: New Works on Paper and Artist’s Books.” 120 W Main, Urbana. Holiday Hours: Tue-Sat 10am-7pm, Sun 15pm. 367-3711.

Creation Art Studios – Current display features paintings and drawings by Shoshanna Bauer, Audrey Martin and Jennifer Martin, Jeannine Bestoso and an evolving display of recent student works in ceramics, paintings and drawings. For information, contact Jeannine Bestoso.

1102 E Washington St, Urbana. Mon-Fri 3-5:30pm, Sat 14pm and scheduled studio sessions. 344-6955. www.creationartstudios.com Country in the City – Antiques, architectural, gardening, home accessories. Custom designing available. 1104 E Washington St, Urbana. Thu-Sat 10am-5pm 367-2367.

Framer’s Market – Frame Designers since 1981. Ongoing work from local artists on display. 807 W Springfield Ave, Champaign. Tue-Fri 9:30am-5:30pm, Sat 10am-4pm. 3517020.

Furniture Lounge – Collection of fine art photographic images by local artisan Glenn Harriger on display through Dec 24. Also specializing in mid-century modern furniture from the 1920s-1980s, retro, Danish modern, lighting, vintage stereo equipment and vinyl records. 9 E University, Champaign. 352-5150. Sun-Mon 12-4:30pm, Wed-Sat 11am-5:30pm.

Glass FX – New and antique stained glass windows, lamps and unique glass gifts. Gallery is free and open to the public. Interested in learning the art of stained glass?

Beginning, Intermediate and Advanced Stained Glass Classes offered. 202 S First St, Champaign. Mon-Thu 10am-5:30pm, Fri 10am-5pm, Sat 9am-4pm. 359-0048. www.glassfx.com.

Griggs Street Potters – Handmade functional and decorative pottery. 305 W Grigg St, Urbana. Mon-Fri 11am-4pm, or call for appointment. 344-8546.

Gallery Virtu Cooperative – Original works by the nine artist-owners: jewelry, pottery, paintings, collages, hats, handbags and other textiles, sculptures and journals. The Gallery also offers workshops. 220 W Washington St, Monticello. 762-7790. Thu 12-4pm, Fri 12-8pm, Sat 10am6pm. www.galleryvirtu.org Hill Street Gallery Inc. – Oil and watercolor paintings, hand painted T-shirts, handmade jewelry. 703 W Hill,

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Champaign. Sat 12-5pm or by appointment during the week. 359-0675.

Larry Kanfer Gallery – New Upper Midwest images and sepia Champaign-Urbana Collection on display by renowned photographic artist Larry Kanfer. Ready for the holidays: Prairiescapes and University of Illinois calendars and unique boxed gift cards. Gift certificates available.

2503 S Neil, Champaign. Free and Open to the Public.

Mon-Sat 10am-5:30pm Sun 11am-3pm. 398-2000. www.kanfer.com LaPayne Photography – Specializes in panoramic photography up to 6 feet long of different subjects including sporting events, city skylines, national parks and University of Illinois scenes. 816 Dennison Dr, Champaign. Mon-Fri 9am-4pm and by appointment. 3568994.

Old Vic Art Gallery – Fine and original art, hand-signed limited edition prints, works by local artists, art restoration, custom framing, and periodic shows by local artists.

11 E University, Champaign. Mon-Thu 11am-5:30pm, Sat 11am-4:30pm. 355-8338.

Steeple Gallery – Vintage botanical and bird prints, antiques, framed limited edition prints. 102 E Lafayette St, Monticello. Mon-Fri 9am-5pm, Sat 10am-4pm. 7622924. www.steeplegallery.com Verde Gallery – “Texture of a Place,” paintings by Beth Darling and ceramics of Michael Schewegmann on display through Dec 27. Also featured in the cafe and halls, products from the talented members of the Champaign/Urbana Spinners and Weavers Guild. 17 E Taylor St, Champaign. Cafe hours: Mon-Sat 7am-10 pm; Gallery Hours: Tue-Sat 10am-10pm. 366-3204.

Ziemer Gallery – Original paintings and limited edition prints by Larry Ziemer. Pottery, weavings, wood turning and glass works by other artists. Gallery visitors are welcome to sit, relax, listen to the music and just enjoy being surrounded by art. 210 W Washington, Monticello. Tue 10am-8pm, Wed-Fri 10am-5pm, Sat 10am-4pm. 762-9786. www.ziemergallery.com

ART-ON VIEW NOW Creation Art Studios – Artwork by instructors Jeannine Bestoso, Amy Richardson, and Shoshanna Bauer, along with and art by family and friends of the studio on display at Creation Art Studio. Regular Hours: Mon-Fri 35:30pm, Sat 1-4pm and other scheduled studio times. For more information call Jeannine Bestoso at 344-6955. The studio is located at 1102 E Washington St, Urbana.

“Digital Dabblings” – An eclectic selection of digitally processed photographs by John Sfondilias on display at Aroma Cafe through Jan 31. Subjects include the University’s South Farm and Quad as well as locations as far away as Greece and Turkey. 118 N Neil, Champaign.

Open seven days a week, 7am-midnight. For information contact Amanda Bickle. 356-3200. art4aroma@yahoo.com “Ethereal Organics” – Photographs from Jim Hultquist on display at Cafe Aroma through January. Hultquist:“A project in the study of light interacting with natural forms.”

118 N Neil, Champaign. Open seven days a week, 7ammidnight. For information contact Amanda Bickle. 3563200. art4aroma@yahoo.com “E-Motion2: Our Reality as Seen and Unseen” – A unique dance/technology installation in which programmer Ben Schaeffer, choreographer Luc Vanier and composer Bradford Blackburn come together through motion-capture technology to create an alternate version of reality.

On display at the Krannert Art Museum through Jan 4.

500 E Peabody, Urbana. Tue, Thu-Sat 9am-5pm, Wed 9am8pm, Sun 2-5pm. 333-1860. Suggested Donation: $3 “Anna Pottery: Plagiarism as Art” – Reintroduces Illinois to its greatest potters, the brothers Cornwall and Wallace Kirkpatrick, and their Anna Pottery (1859-96). The exhibition focuses on the brothers’ large-scale incised works that obsessively reproduce texts from quirky yet mundane sources like telephone books and corporate reports. Ahead of its time, the Kirkpatricks’ work is a forerunner to the outsider art and pop art of today. Anna Pottery: Plagiarism as Art is on view through Jan 4. 500 E Peabody, Urbana. Tue, Thu-Sat 9am-5pm, Wed 9am-8pm, Sun 2-5pm. 333-1860. Suggested Donation: $3 “Whistler and Japonisme: Selections from the Permanent Collection” – Marking the 100th anniversary of James McNeill Whistler’s death, this exhibition highlights his works on paper and examines the influence

that Japanese woodcuts had on his artistic technique. On display at the Krannert Art Museum through March 28, 2004. 500 E Peabody, Urbana. Tue, Thu-Sat 9am-5pm, Wed 9am-8pm, Sun 2-5pm. 333-1860. Suggested Donation: $3

NECK PAIN RELIEF

MIND BODY SPIRIT Sunday Zen Meditation Meeting – Prairie Zen Center, 515 S Prospect, Champaign, NW corner Prospect & Green, enter through door from parking area. Introduction to Zen Sitting, 10am; Full Schedule: Service at 9 followed by sitting, Dharma Talk at 11 followed by tea until about noon. Can arrive at any of above times, open to all, no experience needed, no cost. For info call 355-8835 or www.prairiezen.org Clear Sky Zen Group – Meets on Thursday evenings in the Geneva Room of the McKinley Foundation. Newcomers to meditation and people of all traditions and faiths are welcome – McKinley Foundation, 809 S Fifth St, 6:25-9pm Prairie Sangha for Mindfulness Meditation – Monday evenings from 7:30-9pm and monthly retreats on Sunday. Theravadan (Vipassana) and Tibetan (Vjrayana & Dzogchen) meditation practice. Meets in Urbana. More information call or e-mail Tom at 356-7413 or shayir@soltec.net. www.prairiesangha.org Formerly-Fat Persons’ Support Group – Free social meeting every Saturday at 2pm at Aroma Cafe, 118 N Neil St, Champaign. For more information contact Jessica Watson at 353-4934.

Overeaters Anonymous meetings held at Fellowship Circle, 718 S Randolph, Champaign, on Tuesday and Friday at 5:30pm (Contact Lin, 359-4449); at First Presbyterian Church, of Green and Orchard Street, Urbana, on Mon at 7:30pm (Contact Lin 359-4449 or Marcey 356-8748) and on Thursday at 5:30pm at Channing-Murray Foundation. Contact Marcey 356-8748 or Toni 369-6218.

FREE EXAM & X-RAY (IF NEEDED) NEW PATIENTS ONLY

Without Drugs... chiropractic health care honors the body’s ability to heal itself, naturally!

If you are suffering from reoccuring neck pain, please call for an appointment!

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(24 Hr. Answering Service)

SNELL CHIROPRACTIC CLINIC 1802 Woodfield Dr., Savoy 2 Blocks North of Savoy 16

Dr. Joseph Snell...

Your First Choice In Health Care!

121803buzz0912

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WANT TO GET YOUR EVENT LISTED ON OUR CALENDAR? Send your listings to calendar@readbuzz.com | DECEMBER 18-DECEMBER 23, 2003 buzz

C-UVENUES

Temple of Low Men and Lorenzo Goetz (above) at Nargile, Friday, Dec 19, 10pm

ThursdayDec18

Dank, TBA – The Canopy Club, 10pm, TBA Aces Wild – Tommy G’s, 10-2am, cover

LIVE MUSIC

DJ

Acoustic Music Series: Michael Jones & Jamie Lou Carras – Aroma, 8pm, free Euphone, The Love of Everything – Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $5 Down the Live, Regarding Angels – The Canopy Club, 10pm, $4

DJ Hipster Sophisto – Barfly, 9pm, free The Noiseboy – Mike ‘n Molly, 10pm, $1 DJ Tim Williams – The Highdive, 10pm, $5 DJ PBR – Cowboy Monkey, 11pm, free

FILM

DJ Resonate – Barfly, 9pm, free DJ Delaney – Nargile, 10pm, free

Roman Holiday : (1953) – Oscar-winning Audrey Hepburn’s first break as a princess yearning for a normal life who runs away from her palace and finds romance with a reporter. Audrey Hepburn, Gregory Peck, Eddie Albert – The Virginia Theatre, 2:30pm, 7pm, $5

FridayDec19

SundayDec21

DJ

LIVE MUSIC The Prairie Dogs – Cowboy Monkey, 5pm, free In Your Ear Big Band – The Highdive, 5:30pm, $3 Cameron McGill – Mike ‘n Molly’s, 9pm, $3 Pariah, FeeD, Jayed Kayne – The Canopy Club, 10pm, $5 The Delta Kings – Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $3 Temple of Low Men, Lorenzo Goetz, Synesthesia – Nargile, 10pm, $5 Billy Galt and Ed O’Hara – Tommy G’s, 5-7pm, free E.S.P. – Tommy G’s, 10-2am, cover

DJ DJ Bozak – Barfly, 9pm, free DJ Tim Williams – The Highdive, 10pm, $5

DANCING Contra Dance – Dance to live traditional string music provided by Fred Campeau Jam with Mark Richardson (Bloomington, Ind.) calling. All dances are taught, partners are not required, and no experience is necessary –Phillips Recreation Center, 8-11pm

FILM Roman Holiday : (1953) – Oscar-winning Audrey Hepburn’s first break as a princess yearning for a normal life who runs away from her palace and finds romance with a reporter. Audrey Hepburn, Gregory Peck, Eddie Albert – The Virginia Theatre, 7pm, $5

SaturdayDec20 LIVE MUSIC Cameron McGill – Record Service, 2pm, free Hippus Campus – Cowboy Monkey, 8pm, $2 The Noisy Gators – Hubers, 8pm, TBA No Secret Band – The Pink House, 8:30pm, TBA Candy Foster and Shades of Blue – Iron Post, 9pm, TBA The Blackouts, The Show is the Rainbow, The Invisible, J.F.K.F.C. – Nargile, 9pm, $5

LIVE MUSIC Irish Traditional Music Session hosted by Lisa Boucher – Mike ‘n Molly’s, 5pm, free The Blues Jam hosted by Kilborn Alley - The Canopy Club, 10pm, $2

DJ Fresh Face Guest DJ – Barfly, 9pm, free

SPOKEN WORD Open Mic – Poetry/Spoken Word hosted by Illusion - The Canopy Club, 7pm, $2

MondayDec22 LIVE MUSIC Useless Hero, Missing in Action, Failed Resistance, A.D.I.C. – punk - Channing-Murray Foundation, 8pm, $5 Keith Harden, George Faber – Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $2

DJ 2ON2OUT – Barfly, 9pm, free DJ Betty Rocker – Mike ‘n Molly’s, 10pm, free

TuesdayDec23 LIVE MUSIC Keithmas: Keith Harden – Iron Post, 9pm, TBA Adam Wolf’s Acoustic Night – Tommy G’s, 10pm-1:30am, free

DJ Seduction: DJ Resonate – Barfly, 9pm, free Lyle The Electrician – Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free NOX: DJ Zozo – The Highdive, 10pm, $2

Assembly Hall First & Florida, Champaign, 333.5000 American Legion Post 24 705 W Bloomington Rd, Champaign, 356.5144 American Legion Post 71 107 N Broadway, Urbana, 367.3121 Barfly 120 N Neil, Champaign,352.9756 Barnes and Noble 51 E Marketview, Champaign, 355.2045 Boltini Lounge 211 N Neil, Champaign, 378.8001 Borders Books & Music 802 W Town Ctr, Champaign, 351.9011 The Brass Rail 15 E University, Champaign, 352.7512 Canopy Club (The Garden Grill) 708 S Goodwin, Urbana, 367.3140 C.O. Daniels 608 E Daniel, Champaign, 337.7411 Cosmopolitan Club 307 E John, Champaign, 367.3079 Courtyard Cafe Illini Union, 1401 W Green, Urbana, 333.4666 Cowboy Monkey 6 Taylor St, Champaign, 398.2688 Clybourne 706 S Sixth, Champaign, 383.1008 Curtis Orchard 3902 S Duncan Rd, Champaign, 359.5565 D.R. Diggers 604 S Country Fair Dr, Champaign, 356.0888 Embassy Tavern & Grill 114 S Race, Urbana, 384.9526 Esquire Lounge 106 N Walnut, Champaign, 398.5858 Fallon’s Ice House 703 N Prospect, Champaign, 398.5760 Fat City Saloon 505 S Chestnut, Champaign, 356.7100 The Great Impasta 114 W Church, Champaign, 359.7377 G.T.’s Western Bowl Francis Dr, Champaign, 359.1678 The Highdive 51 Main, Champaign, 359.4444 Huber’s 1312 W Church, Champaign, 352.0606 Illinois Disciples Foundation 610 E Springfield, Champaign, 352.8721 Independent Media Center 218 W Main St, Urbana, 344.8820 The Iron Post 120 S Race, Urbana, 337.7678 Joe’s Brewery 706 S Fifth, Champaign, 384.1790 Kam’s 618 E Daniel, Champaign, 328.1605 Krannert Art Museum 500 E Peabody, Champaign, 333.1861 Krannert Center for Performing Arts 500 S Goodwin, Urbana, Tickets: 333.6280, 800/KCPATIX La Casa Cultural Latina 1203 W Nevada, Urbana, 333.4950 Lava 1906 W Bradley, Champaign, 352.8714 Legends Bar & Grill 522 E Green, Champaign, 355.7674 Les’s Lounge 403 N Coler, Urbana, 328.4000 Lincoln Castle 209 S Broadway, Urbana, 344.7720 Malibu Bay Lounge North Route 45, Urbana, 328.7415 Mike ‘n Molly’s 105 N Market, Champaign, 355.1236 Mulligan’s 604 N Cunningham, Urbana, 367.5888 Murphy’s 604 E Green, Champaign, 352.7275 Nargile 207 W Clark St, Champaign Neil Street Pub 1505 N Neil, Champaign, 359.1601 Boardman’s Art Theater 126 W Church, Champaign, 351.0068 The Office 214 W Main, Urbana, 344.7608 Parkland College 2400 W Bradley, Champaign, 351.2528 Phoenix 215 S Neil, Champaign, 355.7866 Pia’s of Rantoul Route 136 E, Rantoul, 893.8244 Pink House Routes 49 & 150, Ogden, 582.9997 The Rainbow Coffeehouse 1203 W Green, Urbana, 766.9500 Red Herring/Channing-Murray Foundation 1209 W Oregon, Urbana, 344.1176 Rose Bowl Tavern 106 N Race, Urbana, 367.7031 Springer Cultural Center 301 N Randolph, Champaign, 355.1406 Spurlock Museum 600 S Gregory, Urbana, 333.2360 The Station Theatre 223 N Broadway, Urbana, 384-4000

Strawberry Fields Cafe 306 W Springfield, Urbana, 328.1655 Ten Thousand Villages 105 N Walnut, Champaign, 352.8938 TK Wendl’s 1901 S Highcross Rd, Urbana, 255.5328 Tommy G’s 123 S. Mattis Ave, Country Fair Shopping Center, 359.2177 Tonic 619 S Wright, Champaign, 356.6768 Two Main 2 Main, Champaign, 359.3148 University YMCA 1001 S Wright, Champaign, 344.0721 Verde/Verdant 17 E Taylor St, Champaign, 366.3204 Virginia Theatre 203 W Park Ave, Champaign, 356.9053 White Horse Inn 112 1/2 E Green, Champaign, 352.5945 Zorba’s 627 E Green, Champaign

CHICAGOSHOWS DECEMBER 12/18 Addison Groove Project – Schuba’s 12/19 Dwele – Metro 12/20 Los Straitjackets, Putani Sisters – Abbey Pub 12/21 Murder By Death – Metro 12/22 Dave Matthews, Emmylou Harris – All-State Arena 12/26 Dark Star Orchestra – Vic Theatre 12/26 Lucky Boys Confusion – House of Blues 12/27 Roscoe Plush – Double Door 12/27 Hello Dave – Park West 12/27 Kill Hannah – House of Blues 12/31 B-52’s – Navy Pier 12/31 Cowboy Mouth – House of Blues 12/31 Aretha Franklin – Chicago Theatre 12/31 Guster, Sister Hazel – House of Blues 12/31 Local H, Electric Six – Double Door 12/31 Violent Femmes – Metro 12/31 White Stripes, Flaming Lips, Blanche – Aragon

JANUARY 1/2 504Plan – Metro 1/3 Bottle of Justus – House of Blues 1/5 Bryan Adams – Vic Theatre 1/9 Wu-Tang, featuring Cappadonna, Gza – Metro 1/13 David Bowie & Macy Gray – Rosemont Theatre 1/17 Evan Dando – Double Door 1/17 The Wrens – Schuba’s 1/17 Samples – House of Blues 1/17 Ani DiFranco – Chicago Theatre 1/24 Appleseed Cast – Metro 1/28 Starsailor – Metro 1/29 Gomez – Vic Theatre

FEBRUARY 2/6 Buckwheat Zydeco – House of Blues 2/12 Josh Groban – Rosemont Theatre 2/24 Deep Purple – Chicago Theatre 2/27 Sting – Rosemont Theatre 2/28 Erykah Badu – Auditorium Theatre

ART LISTINGS Portraits – Award winning portrait artist Sandra Ahten is currently accepting commissions for portraits for holiday giving. Portraits are priced at an affordable range and professional exchange or barter may be accepted. For examples of work and a quote, contact Sandra Ahten at (217) 367-6345 or spiritofsandra@hotmail.com Creation Art Studios: Art Classes for Children and Adults – All classes offer technical instruction and the exploration of materials through the expressive and spontaneous art process. Independent studies of personal interests and ideas, dreams, etc. are expressed and developed through collage and assemblage art, drawing, painting, sculpture and ceramics. Call for times and schedule. For more information contact Jeannine Bestoso at 344-6955. CPDU’s offered. 1102 E Washington, Urbana. www.creationartstudios.com Join Artists and Workshops at Gallery Virtu – Gallery Virtu, an artist-owned cooperative, now invites applications from area artists. The Gallery also offers workshops for adults, teens and children in knitting, embroidery, photography, jewelry making, printmaking, papermaking, bookbinding and ribbon flowers. Gallery Virtu offers original works by the members including: jewelry, pottery, collages, sculptures, journals, hats, handbags and other textiles. For more information please call 762-7790, visit our Web site at www.galleryvirtu.org, e-mail workshops@galleryvirtu.org or visit the gallery. Regular hours:

buzz DECEMBER 18-DECEMBER 23, 2003

music

| DANCING IS FORBIDDEN

Community Top 10s of 2003 Tim Williams DJ at The Highdive/V.P. Record Service

Dan Finnerty DJ Spinnerty

1. Dandy Warhols - Welcome to the Monkey House 2. Spearhead - Everyone Deserves Music 3. Muse - Absolution 4. Various Artist - Radio Soulwax Hang All DJ’S Vol. 6 5. Kings of Leon - Youth & Young Manhood 6. Johnny Cash - American IV 7. Atmosphere - Seven’s Travels 8. Goldfrapp - Black Cherry 9. New Pornographers - Electric Version 10. White Stripes - Elephant

1. Madlib - Shades of Blue 2. Little Brother - The Listening 3. Bonobo - Dial M For Monkey 4. Brother Ali - Shadows On The Sun 5. Andy Smith - The Document 2 6. Akrobatik - Balance 7. Fanny Pack - So Stylistic 8. Count Bass D - Dwight Spitz 9. Cinematic Orchestra - Man With A Movie Camera 10. Wildchild - Secondary Protocol

Todd J. Hunter OpeningBands.com staff member (and most posts there as well)

Michael Armintrout Talent Buyer at The Canopy Club

1. Absinthe Blind - Rings 2. Rob McColley - Juicy 3. Tracer - Indigenous 4. The Raveonettes - Chain Gang of Love 5. Triple Whip - Slapshot 6. Placebo - Sleeping with Ghosts 7. Sullen - Paint the Moon 8. Pearl Jam - Lost Dogs 9. The Red Hot Valentines - Summer Fling 10. Black Rebel Motorcycle Club - Take Them On, On Your Own

Edward Burch Singer/songwriter and music editor for The Paper 1. Kelley Stoltz - Antique Glow 2. M. Ward - Transfiguration of Vincent 3. Autumn Defense - Circles 4. Centro-matic - Love You Just The Same 5. The Redwalls - Universal Blues 6. Summer Hymns - Clemency 7. Mojave 3 - Spoon & Rafter 8. My Morning Jacket - It Still Moves 9. Yo La Tengo - Summer Sun 10. Oranger - Shutdown The Sun

Troy Michael Head of Innocent Words Records and Magazine 1. Pearl Jam – Lost Dogs 2. Hamell On Trial - Tough Love 3. Cursive - The Ugly Organ 4. Lucinda Williams – World Without Tears 5. Absinthe Blind - Rings 6. Johnny Cash - American IV 7. Shins - Chutes To Narrow 8. Pink - Try This 9. Riddle of Steel – Python 10. Andrea Maxand – Paper Cut Note: Lorenzo Goetz and Triple Whip were purposely left off the list to be fair, but they are number one in my book.

Bill Johnson Owner of Parasol Records 1. Folksongs For The Afterlife - Put Danger Back In Your Life 2. Moonbabies - The Orange Billboard 3. Ulrich Schnauss - A Strangely Isolated Place 4. The Cardigans - Long Gone Before Daylight 5. Wayne Everett - Kingsqueens 6. The Postal Service - Give Up 7. Club 8 - Strangely Beautiful 8. Bettie Serveert - Log 22 9. M83 - Dead Cities, Red Seas & Lost Ghosts 10. Fonda - Catching Up To The Future

1. Radiohead - Hail to the Thief 2. The Postal Service - Give Up 3. Mike Doughty - Smofe & Smang: Live in Minneapolis 4. The Mars Volta - De-loused at the Comatorium 5. The Flaming Lips - Fight Test EP 6. Robert Randolph & the Family Band Unclassified 7. Jazz Mandolin Project - Jungle Tango 8. Atmosphere - Seven’s Travels 9. Keller Williams - Home 10. Michael Franti & Spearhead - Everyone Deserves Music

Derek Lo DJ d-Lo 1. Missy Elliot - This is not a Test 2. Outkast - Speakerboxxx/The Love Below 3. Jaylib - Champion Sound 4. 50 Cent - Get Rich or Die Tryin 5. Neptunes - Clones 6. Madlib - Shades of Blue 7. Erykah Badu - Worldwide Underground 8. Soul Position - 8 Million Stories 9. Hieroglyphics - Full Circle 10. Soulive - Turn it out Remixed

Corporate Silver Sponsor

Patron Co-Sponsors Charlotte Chilton Janet and Ralph Simmons

Cinderella Moscow Festival Ballet

Drew Patterson Host of Inner Limits and Off The Record on WPGU 107.1 FM The Planet

A prince, true love, and a new pair of shoes. What more could a girl ask? To dance the night away!

1. The Long Winters - When I Pretend To Fall 2. Broken Social Scene - You Forgot It In People 3. Kings of Leon - Youth & Young Manhood 4. The Postal Service - Give Up 5. Mates of State - Team Boo 6. Troubled Hubble - Penturbia 7. The Strokes - Room on Fire 8. Outkast - Speakerboxx/The Love Below 9. stellastarr* - stellastarr* 10. The Darkness - Permission to Land

Steve Sobel Head of OpeningBands.com 1. Thrice - The Artist in the Ambulance 2. A Perfect Circle - Thirteenth Step 3. Soilwork - Figure Number Five 4. Absinthe Blind – Rings 5. Lorenzo Goetz - Allure 6. Zykos - Comedy Horn 7. Phistine Verona - Meeting People 8. Triple Whip - Slapshot 9. Acumen Nation - Lord of the Cynics 10. Kill Bill - Soundtrack

JAN20-22 333.6280

visit KrannertCenter.com

9

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buzzpicks

Cameron McGill Cameron McGill, a Chicago native, is known for his emotionally-charged, honest lyrics and his grand Jeff Buckley-esque voice.

Living in Champaign for a time, McGill returned to his Chicago home and recently released an album, Stories of The Knife and The Back, on his Post-Import label.

Cameron McGill at Mike ‘n Molly’s, Friday, 9pm, $3

Euphone create jazz, rock fusion Tortoise and The Sea and Cake took the Chicago scene to the front as far as experimental rock goes. Euphone share the rhythm-heavy instrumental sound that fuses elements of jazz, tropicalia and other rhythm-centered genres together. Ryan Rapsys, formerly of post-punk band Gauge, mixes traditional instruments with sounds such as sleigh bells, pots and pans, and steel drum. Nick Macri entered on the second album, The Calendar of Unlucky Days, in 1999, followed by two worthy efforts, and their most recent release, Lakewood, in 2002, was well-received.

Euphone and The Love of Everything, tonight at Cowboy Monkey, 10pm

The Blackouts at Nargile Local favorites The Blackouts just finished recording their follow-up to Everyday Is a Sunday Evening with Adam Schmidt. The new album will drop in February or March of next year, followed by a number of tour dates throughout the country. For now, catch them at their last show of the year.

The Blackouts at Nargile, Saturday, 9pm, with The Invisible, The Show is The Rainbow and J.F.K.F.C., $5

ANSWERS TO PUZZLE ON PAGE 18 A L A R M E D

N O T E P A D

S C A R Y

B A R B A R A

I D E A M E N

G E S T A P O

B L O T T E D

A C C O R D

A I R L I N E

S H O O T U P

C O R K S C R E D W E T E S T S

H U E S T O R O S P A S O

E D U C A T T E A L F L I O N R E D A E R R T

M I N U T E S

P A L M A S

O P U L E N T

T O S T A D A

E L E I S O N

R E D C E N T

M I D A S

U N I T A R Y

S T E E L I E

H O T S E A T

Boardman’s

MASSAGE MT104 Full Size Acoustic List: $104 Sale Price $69!!

Art Theatre

126 W. Church St. Champaign, IL

Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King at the Lorraine Theatre eTickets online at

www.BoardmansLorraineTheatre.com

Don’t just get a ticket, get a

S35 Full Size Acoustic List: $199 Sale $89!!

Electric Guitars $99 & Up! Guitars Amps $69 & Up!

Starts midnight Tuesday, Dec. 16.

Costume contest at 6:00pm Wednesday, Dec. 17 Great fun and neat prizes

Coupons on our website: www.corsonmusic.com 202 W. Main, Urbana 367-3898 71 E. University, Champaign 352-1477

RESERVED SEAT! Why stand in line, pay more, and get less at a multiplex?

GIFT CERTIFICATES

Seabiscuit PG-13, runs 141 minutes,scope, presented in HPS-4000/DD.

“One of the best films of the season!” ...San Francisco Chronicle.

“Two thumbs up!”... Ebert & Roeper.

Showtimes: Daily at 4:45 pm & 7:30 pm, late Fri./Sat. at 10:15 pm, matinees Sat/Sun at 2:00 pm

eTickets/reserved seats: www.BoardmansArtTheatre.com

Also playing at the Lorraine Theatre in Hoopeston The Last Samurai.

605282

D E S P I T E

It’s Miller Time at Nargile!

BOARDMAN’S THEATRES www.BoardmansTheatres.com 1-800-BEST PLACE (800-237-8752) 217/355-0068 eTickets/reserved seats: www.BoardmansArtTheatre.com

For extra photos, check out readbuzz.com

11

121803buzz1011

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3:00 PM

10

calendar

Page 1

calendar

buzzpicks

Cameron McGill Cameron McGill, a Chicago native, is known for his emotionally-charged, honest lyrics and his grand Jeff Buckley-esque voice.

Living in Champaign for a time, McGill returned to his Chicago home and recently released an album, Stories of The Knife and The Back, on his Post-Import label.

Cameron McGill at Mike ‘n Molly’s, Friday, 9pm, $3

Euphone create jazz, rock fusion Tortoise and The Sea and Cake took the Chicago scene to the front as far as experimental rock goes. Euphone share the rhythm-heavy instrumental sound that fuses elements of jazz, tropicalia and other rhythm-centered genres together. Ryan Rapsys, formerly of post-punk band Gauge, mixes traditional instruments with sounds such as sleigh bells, pots and pans, and steel drum. Nick Macri entered on the second album, The Calendar of Unlucky Days, in 1999, followed by two worthy efforts, and their most recent release, Lakewood, in 2002, was well-received.

Euphone and The Love of Everything, tonight at Cowboy Monkey, 10pm

The Blackouts at Nargile Local favorites The Blackouts just finished recording their follow-up to Everyday Is a Sunday Evening with Adam Schmidt. The new album will drop in February or March of next year, followed by a number of tour dates throughout the country. For now, catch them at their last show of the year.

The Blackouts at Nargile, Saturday, 9pm, with The Invisible, The Show is The Rainbow and J.F.K.F.C., $5

ANSWERS TO PUZZLE ON PAGE 18 A L A R M E D

N O T E P A D

S C A R Y

B A R B A R A

I D E A M E N

G E S T A P O

B L O T T E D

A C C O R D

A I R L I N E

S H O O T U P

C O R K S C R E D W E T E S T S

H U E S T O R O S P A S O

E D U C A T T E A L F L I O N R E D A E R R T

M I N U T E S

P A L M A S

O P U L E N T

T O S T A D A

E L E I S O N

R E D C E N T

M I D A S

U N I T A R Y

S T E E L I E

H O T S E A T

Boardman’s

MASSAGE MT104 Full Size Acoustic List: $104 Sale Price $69!!

Art Theatre

126 W. Church St. Champaign, IL

Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King at the Lorraine Theatre eTickets online at

www.BoardmansLorraineTheatre.com

Don’t just get a ticket, get a

S35 Full Size Acoustic List: $199 Sale $89!!

Electric Guitars $99 & Up! Guitars Amps $69 & Up!

Starts midnight Tuesday, Dec. 16.

Costume contest at 6:00pm Wednesday, Dec. 17 Great fun and neat prizes

Coupons on our website: www.corsonmusic.com 202 W. Main, Urbana 367-3898 71 E. University, Champaign 352-1477

RESERVED SEAT! Why stand in line, pay more, and get less at a multiplex?

GIFT CERTIFICATES

Seabiscuit PG-13, runs 141 minutes,scope, presented in HPS-4000/DD.

“One of the best films of the season!” ...San Francisco Chronicle.

“Two thumbs up!”... Ebert & Roeper.

Showtimes: Daily at 4:45 pm & 7:30 pm, late Fri./Sat. at 10:15 pm, matinees Sat/Sun at 2:00 pm

eTickets/reserved seats: www.BoardmansArtTheatre.com

Also playing at the Lorraine Theatre in Hoopeston The Last Samurai.

605282

D E S P I T E

It’s Miller Time at Nargile!

BOARDMAN’S THEATRES www.BoardmansTheatres.com 1-800-BEST PLACE (800-237-8752) 217/355-0068 eTickets/reserved seats: www.BoardmansArtTheatre.com

For extra photos, check out readbuzz.com

11

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calendar

WANT TO GET YOUR EVENT LISTED ON OUR CALENDAR? Send your listings to calendar@readbuzz.com | DECEMBER 18-DECEMBER 23, 2003 buzz

C-UVENUES

Temple of Low Men and Lorenzo Goetz (above) at Nargile, Friday, Dec 19, 10pm

ThursdayDec18

Dank, TBA – The Canopy Club, 10pm, TBA Aces Wild – Tommy G’s, 10-2am, cover

LIVE MUSIC

DJ

Acoustic Music Series: Michael Jones & Jamie Lou Carras – Aroma, 8pm, free Euphone, The Love of Everything – Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $5 Down the Live, Regarding Angels – The Canopy Club, 10pm, $4

DJ Hipster Sophisto – Barfly, 9pm, free The Noiseboy – Mike ‘n Molly, 10pm, $1 DJ Tim Williams – The Highdive, 10pm, $5 DJ PBR – Cowboy Monkey, 11pm, free

FILM

DJ Resonate – Barfly, 9pm, free DJ Delaney – Nargile, 10pm, free

Roman Holiday : (1953) – Oscar-winning Audrey Hepburn’s first break as a princess yearning for a normal life who runs away from her palace and finds romance with a reporter. Audrey Hepburn, Gregory Peck, Eddie Albert – The Virginia Theatre, 2:30pm, 7pm, $5

FridayDec19

SundayDec21

DJ

LIVE MUSIC The Prairie Dogs – Cowboy Monkey, 5pm, free In Your Ear Big Band – The Highdive, 5:30pm, $3 Cameron McGill – Mike ‘n Molly’s, 9pm, $3 Pariah, FeeD, Jayed Kayne – The Canopy Club, 10pm, $5 The Delta Kings – Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $3 Temple of Low Men, Lorenzo Goetz, Synesthesia – Nargile, 10pm, $5 Billy Galt and Ed O’Hara – Tommy G’s, 5-7pm, free E.S.P. – Tommy G’s, 10-2am, cover

DJ DJ Bozak – Barfly, 9pm, free DJ Tim Williams – The Highdive, 10pm, $5

DANCING Contra Dance – Dance to live traditional string music provided by Fred Campeau Jam with Mark Richardson (Bloomington, Ind.) calling. All dances are taught, partners are not required, and no experience is necessary –Phillips Recreation Center, 8-11pm

FILM Roman Holiday : (1953) – Oscar-winning Audrey Hepburn’s first break as a princess yearning for a normal life who runs away from her palace and finds romance with a reporter. Audrey Hepburn, Gregory Peck, Eddie Albert – The Virginia Theatre, 7pm, $5

SaturdayDec20 LIVE MUSIC Cameron McGill – Record Service, 2pm, free Hippus Campus – Cowboy Monkey, 8pm, $2 The Noisy Gators – Hubers, 8pm, TBA No Secret Band – The Pink House, 8:30pm, TBA Candy Foster and Shades of Blue – Iron Post, 9pm, TBA The Blackouts, The Show is the Rainbow, The Invisible, J.F.K.F.C. – Nargile, 9pm, $5

LIVE MUSIC Irish Traditional Music Session hosted by Lisa Boucher – Mike ‘n Molly’s, 5pm, free The Blues Jam hosted by Kilborn Alley - The Canopy Club, 10pm, $2

DJ Fresh Face Guest DJ – Barfly, 9pm, free

SPOKEN WORD Open Mic – Poetry/Spoken Word hosted by Illusion - The Canopy Club, 7pm, $2

MondayDec22 LIVE MUSIC Useless Hero, Missing in Action, Failed Resistance, A.D.I.C. – punk - Channing-Murray Foundation, 8pm, $5 Keith Harden, George Faber – Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $2

DJ 2ON2OUT – Barfly, 9pm, free DJ Betty Rocker – Mike ‘n Molly’s, 10pm, free

TuesdayDec23 LIVE MUSIC Keithmas: Keith Harden – Iron Post, 9pm, TBA Adam Wolf’s Acoustic Night – Tommy G’s, 10pm-1:30am, free

DJ Seduction: DJ Resonate – Barfly, 9pm, free Lyle The Electrician – Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free NOX: DJ Zozo – The Highdive, 10pm, $2

Assembly Hall First & Florida, Champaign, 333.5000 American Legion Post 24 705 W Bloomington Rd, Champaign, 356.5144 American Legion Post 71 107 N Broadway, Urbana, 367.3121 Barfly 120 N Neil, Champaign,352.9756 Barnes and Noble 51 E Marketview, Champaign, 355.2045 Boltini Lounge 211 N Neil, Champaign, 378.8001 Borders Books & Music 802 W Town Ctr, Champaign, 351.9011 The Brass Rail 15 E University, Champaign, 352.7512 Canopy Club (The Garden Grill) 708 S Goodwin, Urbana, 367.3140 C.O. Daniels 608 E Daniel, Champaign, 337.7411 Cosmopolitan Club 307 E John, Champaign, 367.3079 Courtyard Cafe Illini Union, 1401 W Green, Urbana, 333.4666 Cowboy Monkey 6 Taylor St, Champaign, 398.2688 Clybourne 706 S Sixth, Champaign, 383.1008 Curtis Orchard 3902 S Duncan Rd, Champaign, 359.5565 D.R. Diggers 604 S Country Fair Dr, Champaign, 356.0888 Embassy Tavern & Grill 114 S Race, Urbana, 384.9526 Esquire Lounge 106 N Walnut, Champaign, 398.5858 Fallon’s Ice House 703 N Prospect, Champaign, 398.5760 Fat City Saloon 505 S Chestnut, Champaign, 356.7100 The Great Impasta 114 W Church, Champaign, 359.7377 G.T.’s Western Bowl Francis Dr, Champaign, 359.1678 The Highdive 51 Main, Champaign, 359.4444 Huber’s 1312 W Church, Champaign, 352.0606 Illinois Disciples Foundation 610 E Springfield, Champaign, 352.8721 Independent Media Center 218 W Main St, Urbana, 344.8820 The Iron Post 120 S Race, Urbana, 337.7678 Joe’s Brewery 706 S Fifth, Champaign, 384.1790 Kam’s 618 E Daniel, Champaign, 328.1605 Krannert Art Museum 500 E Peabody, Champaign, 333.1861 Krannert Center for Performing Arts 500 S Goodwin, Urbana, Tickets: 333.6280, 800/KCPATIX La Casa Cultural Latina 1203 W Nevada, Urbana, 333.4950 Lava 1906 W Bradley, Champaign, 352.8714 Legends Bar & Grill 522 E Green, Champaign, 355.7674 Les’s Lounge 403 N Coler, Urbana, 328.4000 Lincoln Castle 209 S Broadway, Urbana, 344.7720 Malibu Bay Lounge North Route 45, Urbana, 328.7415 Mike ‘n Molly’s 105 N Market, Champaign, 355.1236 Mulligan’s 604 N Cunningham, Urbana, 367.5888 Murphy’s 604 E Green, Champaign, 352.7275 Nargile 207 W Clark St, Champaign Neil Street Pub 1505 N Neil, Champaign, 359.1601 Boardman’s Art Theater 126 W Church, Champaign, 351.0068 The Office 214 W Main, Urbana, 344.7608 Parkland College 2400 W Bradley, Champaign, 351.2528 Phoenix 215 S Neil, Champaign, 355.7866 Pia’s of Rantoul Route 136 E, Rantoul, 893.8244 Pink House Routes 49 & 150, Ogden, 582.9997 The Rainbow Coffeehouse 1203 W Green, Urbana, 766.9500 Red Herring/Channing-Murray Foundation 1209 W Oregon, Urbana, 344.1176 Rose Bowl Tavern 106 N Race, Urbana, 367.7031 Springer Cultural Center 301 N Randolph, Champaign, 355.1406 Spurlock Museum 600 S Gregory, Urbana, 333.2360 The Station Theatre 223 N Broadway, Urbana, 384-4000

Strawberry Fields Cafe 306 W Springfield, Urbana, 328.1655 Ten Thousand Villages 105 N Walnut, Champaign, 352.8938 TK Wendl’s 1901 S Highcross Rd, Urbana, 255.5328 Tommy G’s 123 S. Mattis Ave, Country Fair Shopping Center, 359.2177 Tonic 619 S Wright, Champaign, 356.6768 Two Main 2 Main, Champaign, 359.3148 University YMCA 1001 S Wright, Champaign, 344.0721 Verde/Verdant 17 E Taylor St, Champaign, 366.3204 Virginia Theatre 203 W Park Ave, Champaign, 356.9053 White Horse Inn 112 1/2 E Green, Champaign, 352.5945 Zorba’s 627 E Green, Champaign

CHICAGOSHOWS DECEMBER 12/18 Addison Groove Project – Schuba’s 12/19 Dwele – Metro 12/20 Los Straitjackets, Putani Sisters – Abbey Pub 12/21 Murder By Death – Metro 12/22 Dave Matthews, Emmylou Harris – All-State Arena 12/26 Dark Star Orchestra – Vic Theatre 12/26 Lucky Boys Confusion – House of Blues 12/27 Roscoe Plush – Double Door 12/27 Hello Dave – Park West 12/27 Kill Hannah – House of Blues 12/31 B-52’s – Navy Pier 12/31 Cowboy Mouth – House of Blues 12/31 Aretha Franklin – Chicago Theatre 12/31 Guster, Sister Hazel – House of Blues 12/31 Local H, Electric Six – Double Door 12/31 Violent Femmes – Metro 12/31 White Stripes, Flaming Lips, Blanche – Aragon

JANUARY 1/2 504Plan – Metro 1/3 Bottle of Justus – House of Blues 1/5 Bryan Adams – Vic Theatre 1/9 Wu-Tang, featuring Cappadonna, Gza – Metro 1/13 David Bowie & Macy Gray – Rosemont Theatre 1/17 Evan Dando – Double Door 1/17 The Wrens – Schuba’s 1/17 Samples – House of Blues 1/17 Ani DiFranco – Chicago Theatre 1/24 Appleseed Cast – Metro 1/28 Starsailor – Metro 1/29 Gomez – Vic Theatre

FEBRUARY 2/6 Buckwheat Zydeco – House of Blues 2/12 Josh Groban – Rosemont Theatre 2/24 Deep Purple – Chicago Theatre 2/27 Sting – Rosemont Theatre 2/28 Erykah Badu – Auditorium Theatre

ART LISTINGS Portraits – Award winning portrait artist Sandra Ahten is currently accepting commissions for portraits for holiday giving. Portraits are priced at an affordable range and professional exchange or barter may be accepted. For examples of work and a quote, contact Sandra Ahten at (217) 367-6345 or spiritofsandra@hotmail.com Creation Art Studios: Art Classes for Children and Adults – All classes offer technical instruction and the exploration of materials through the expressive and spontaneous art process. Independent studies of personal interests and ideas, dreams, etc. are expressed and developed through collage and assemblage art, drawing, painting, sculpture and ceramics. Call for times and schedule. For more information contact Jeannine Bestoso at 344-6955. CPDU’s offered. 1102 E Washington, Urbana. www.creationartstudios.com Join Artists and Workshops at Gallery Virtu – Gallery Virtu, an artist-owned cooperative, now invites applications from area artists. The Gallery also offers workshops for adults, teens and children in knitting, embroidery, photography, jewelry making, printmaking, papermaking, bookbinding and ribbon flowers. Gallery Virtu offers original works by the members including: jewelry, pottery, collages, sculptures, journals, hats, handbags and other textiles. For more information please call 762-7790, visit our Web site at www.galleryvirtu.org, e-mail workshops@galleryvirtu.org or visit the gallery. Regular hours:

buzz DECEMBER 18-DECEMBER 23, 2003

music

| DANCING IS FORBIDDEN

Community Top 10s of 2003 Tim Williams DJ at The Highdive/V.P. Record Service

Dan Finnerty DJ Spinnerty

1. Dandy Warhols - Welcome to the Monkey House 2. Spearhead - Everyone Deserves Music 3. Muse - Absolution 4. Various Artist - Radio Soulwax Hang All DJ’S Vol. 6 5. Kings of Leon - Youth & Young Manhood 6. Johnny Cash - American IV 7. Atmosphere - Seven’s Travels 8. Goldfrapp - Black Cherry 9. New Pornographers - Electric Version 10. White Stripes - Elephant

1. Madlib - Shades of Blue 2. Little Brother - The Listening 3. Bonobo - Dial M For Monkey 4. Brother Ali - Shadows On The Sun 5. Andy Smith - The Document 2 6. Akrobatik - Balance 7. Fanny Pack - So Stylistic 8. Count Bass D - Dwight Spitz 9. Cinematic Orchestra - Man With A Movie Camera 10. Wildchild - Secondary Protocol

Todd J. Hunter OpeningBands.com staff member (and most posts there as well)

Michael Armintrout Talent Buyer at The Canopy Club

1. Absinthe Blind - Rings 2. Rob McColley - Juicy 3. Tracer - Indigenous 4. The Raveonettes - Chain Gang of Love 5. Triple Whip - Slapshot 6. Placebo - Sleeping with Ghosts 7. Sullen - Paint the Moon 8. Pearl Jam - Lost Dogs 9. The Red Hot Valentines - Summer Fling 10. Black Rebel Motorcycle Club - Take Them On, On Your Own

Edward Burch Singer/songwriter and music editor for The Paper 1. Kelley Stoltz - Antique Glow 2. M. Ward - Transfiguration of Vincent 3. Autumn Defense - Circles 4. Centro-matic - Love You Just The Same 5. The Redwalls - Universal Blues 6. Summer Hymns - Clemency 7. Mojave 3 - Spoon & Rafter 8. My Morning Jacket - It Still Moves 9. Yo La Tengo - Summer Sun 10. Oranger - Shutdown The Sun

Troy Michael Head of Innocent Words Records and Magazine 1. Pearl Jam – Lost Dogs 2. Hamell On Trial - Tough Love 3. Cursive - The Ugly Organ 4. Lucinda Williams – World Without Tears 5. Absinthe Blind - Rings 6. Johnny Cash - American IV 7. Shins - Chutes To Narrow 8. Pink - Try This 9. Riddle of Steel – Python 10. Andrea Maxand – Paper Cut Note: Lorenzo Goetz and Triple Whip were purposely left off the list to be fair, but they are number one in my book.

Bill Johnson Owner of Parasol Records 1. Folksongs For The Afterlife - Put Danger Back In Your Life 2. Moonbabies - The Orange Billboard 3. Ulrich Schnauss - A Strangely Isolated Place 4. The Cardigans - Long Gone Before Daylight 5. Wayne Everett - Kingsqueens 6. The Postal Service - Give Up 7. Club 8 - Strangely Beautiful 8. Bettie Serveert - Log 22 9. M83 - Dead Cities, Red Seas & Lost Ghosts 10. Fonda - Catching Up To The Future

1. Radiohead - Hail to the Thief 2. The Postal Service - Give Up 3. Mike Doughty - Smofe & Smang: Live in Minneapolis 4. The Mars Volta - De-loused at the Comatorium 5. The Flaming Lips - Fight Test EP 6. Robert Randolph & the Family Band Unclassified 7. Jazz Mandolin Project - Jungle Tango 8. Atmosphere - Seven’s Travels 9. Keller Williams - Home 10. Michael Franti & Spearhead - Everyone Deserves Music

Derek Lo DJ d-Lo 1. Missy Elliot - This is not a Test 2. Outkast - Speakerboxxx/The Love Below 3. Jaylib - Champion Sound 4. 50 Cent - Get Rich or Die Tryin 5. Neptunes - Clones 6. Madlib - Shades of Blue 7. Erykah Badu - Worldwide Underground 8. Soul Position - 8 Million Stories 9. Hieroglyphics - Full Circle 10. Soulive - Turn it out Remixed

Corporate Silver Sponsor

Patron Co-Sponsors Charlotte Chilton Janet and Ralph Simmons

Cinderella Moscow Festival Ballet

Drew Patterson Host of Inner Limits and Off The Record on WPGU 107.1 FM The Planet

A prince, true love, and a new pair of shoes. What more could a girl ask? To dance the night away!

1. The Long Winters - When I Pretend To Fall 2. Broken Social Scene - You Forgot It In People 3. Kings of Leon - Youth & Young Manhood 4. The Postal Service - Give Up 5. Mates of State - Team Boo 6. Troubled Hubble - Penturbia 7. The Strokes - Room on Fire 8. Outkast - Speakerboxx/The Love Below 9. stellastarr* - stellastarr* 10. The Darkness - Permission to Land

Steve Sobel Head of OpeningBands.com 1. Thrice - The Artist in the Ambulance 2. A Perfect Circle - Thirteenth Step 3. Soilwork - Figure Number Five 4. Absinthe Blind – Rings 5. Lorenzo Goetz - Allure 6. Zykos - Comedy Horn 7. Phistine Verona - Meeting People 8. Triple Whip - Slapshot 9. Acumen Nation - Lord of the Cynics 10. Kill Bill - Soundtrack

JAN20-22 333.6280

visit KrannertCenter.com

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music

WHY ISN’T ST. ANGER ON THE TOP TENS? | DECEMBER 18-DECEMBER 23, 2003

MENDOZA MUSIC LINE

BY SETH FEIN | STAFF WRITER Here are 10 great records that were released in 2003. They are not “the best.”

When publications like Spin and Punk Planet try to tell kids what “the best” is, you know it’s a bunch of horseshit. So, here are just 10 great records, in order of what I thought was “the best”—but they are definitely not “the best.” The best is your list. But you knew that, didn’t you? All of them are available at www.parasol.com and all of them are worth your attention.

10. Isolation Years - Inland Traveller (Galaxy Gramaphone) Technically, this album came out in 2001, but it didn’t make an appearance in the U.S. until Jim Kelly and Lisa Bralts-Kelly (of Parasol) decided that it needed to. Their new label, Galaxy Gramaphone, should be releasing great music from Sweden year-round if things go as planned.

9. Spiritualized - Amazing Grace (Sanctuary) Jason “Spaceman” Pierce returned this year, stripped down and ready to rock for the first time since Spacemen 3. While this record is not as dynamic as his previous outings, it taught me one very important thing: never, ever quesion your heroes. They know what they are doing.

8. The Mercury Program/Maserati - Confines of Heat (Kindercore) Sure, I’ll admit that I am biased here. My guitarist played this tour and these bands are friends of mine. But this split is absolutely one of the most beautiful compositions of postrock that I’ve heard in some time. Each song is unique and builds the way that good songs are supposed to: very slowly.

7. The Mars Volta - De-Loused in the Comatorium (Strummer) The Mars Volta bucked the system and released the best prog-rock record since King Crimson and YES were dominating. An all-out onslaught of noise manipulation and falsetto vocal styling, this album is unlike anything you’ve ever heard.

6. A Perfect Circle - Thirteenth Step (Virgin) This album crept in at the last second thanks to a trip to Columbus, Ohio, in November.

Undeniably one of the great vocalists of all time, Maynard James Keenan outdoes himself again on this record that is surprisingly mellow, yet hits hard at all the right places. It reminds me of why the right distortion pedal can make all the difference.

5. Cat Power - You Are Free (Matador) Despite reports of wacked-out stage shows, Chan Marshall absolutely redefined the precedent for intimacy in recordings with her first album of new material since 1998’s Moon Pix. This is real music. The lyrics are honest and heartfelt; the songs drip with passion. Instead

of merely relying on her beautiful voice and a penchant for simple, dramatic piano work, her songs are filled with psychedelic undertones and musicianship that is second to none.

4. Broken Social Scene - You Forgot it in People (Arts and Crafts) A nine-piece collective from the great Canadian city of Toronto, BSS kicked it the oldschool way: self-produced, self-released and self-promoted. A huge nod from the chumps at Pitchfork and an album that screams “eclectricity” gave this band an enormous amount of cred in the states. Their show at the Empty Bottle was one of the highlights of my year.

3. Wayne Everett - Kingsqueens (Northern) First he was the drummer in Prayer Chain.

Then he graduated to Starflyer 59. When he dropped the sticks and picked up the mic in The Lassie Foundation, it seemed he had found his true calling. But not until he wrote and recorded his very own album did he make such a bold and awesome statement on the world of music. Just the percussion alone on this album would have made my Top 10. He uses metaphor like an experienced poet and his songs are reminiscent of the greats like XTC, The Beatles and Neil Young.

2. The Postal Service - Give Up (Subpop) When I heard that Ben Gibbard of Death Cab for Cutie had a side project, I prepared myself for the worst. Side projects are usually a selfish thing to do and end up being huge disappointments. No one was prepared for The Postal Service. His collaboration with Jimmy Tamborello (aka Dntel) is electro-pop at it’s finest. Gibbard sings like he means it on each song and the album is consumed by terrific beats, well-defined melody and terse, heartbreaking lyrics. I still listen to this record on a weekly basis despite its release in February. This album changed the way indie rockers look at their shoes.

1. Skeletons - Life and the Afterbirth (Shinkoyo) I could write a full page on why this album took number one for me. I could go through all the reasons why it is the best album I’ve heard since Glifted released Under and In last year.

Granted, along with Slowdive’s Souvlaki and My Bloody Valentine’s Loveless, they are kindred spirits. I could tell you all these things.

Instead, I challenge each one of you to just order this record. If you don’t like it, I’ll buy it from you.

It’s only available at www.shinkoyo.com and it’s worth much more than a measly 10 bucks. It will be the best thing you’ve done for yourself all year.

The Honorable Mentions: Death Cab For Cutie - Transatlanticism; Twilight Singers Blackberry Belle; American Analog Set - Promise of Love; Mates of State - Team Boo; Explosions in the Sky - The Earth is Not a Cold Dead Place; Denali - The Instinct.

Seth Fein is from Urbana and graduated from the University of Illinois with a degree in creative writing. As you can see, academics don’t mean shit. He will literally buy that record from you if you don’t like it. He can be reached at sethfein@readbuzz.com.

CDReviews

Top 10 List, Not “The Best”

JOHNNY DEPTH Johnny Depth ★★★

BY BRIAN MERTZ Feel free to dismiss most aspects of electronic music as easy. It’s easy to dance to.

It’s easy to listen to (some people say its so easy to listen to that it’s boring). And to be perfectly honest, it’s pretty easy to DJ once you get the hang of it. But one thing you can’t say is easy is actually making it.

Many miles separate the good producers and the hacks.

That’s bound to be the case when millions of people around the globe spend hours pouring over sequencers and drum machines trying to make songs. One of those people is in our own backyard, and thankfully, he is closer to good than he is to hack.

Johnny Depth (otherwise known as soon-to-be University of Illinois graduate Tony Macada) has found a way to create music that takes a touch of rock-solid vocals, some wonderful piano work, a whole lot of electronic wizardry and a dash of completely off-the-wall humor to make a sound all his own.

Things at times are a little weird (to put it very mildly) with Johnny Depth. On the track,“Download Your Life Away”—an ode to the joys of stealing MP3s, Johnny and friends talk about the tools of their pirating trades.“I’ve got DSL braugh / It’s bad-ass dude. / I just got some Motley Crue / That fucking

TopFive

buzz

shit rules dude.” So it’s not Bob Dylan writing the lyrics here.

But the track is funny and that’s mostly the point.

Until you get to the standout track on this album,“Rollin,” its hard to view Johnny Depth as something other than someone messing around with some computer programs and a guitar. But when the cascading piano and the thumping bass beat of “Rollin” gets going, it is hard not to think that the guys from Orbital might have started with tracks like this.

And it instantly makes you see all the special things in the rest of this album.

The problem right now with Johnny Depth’s 15 tracks is a lack of focus. Perhaps that eclectic quality will appeal to some, but it is hard for a listener to go from a tongue-incheek cover of “Heal The World” to the minimalist electroemo sounds of “Deep Rest.”This is not to say that the humor should be abandoned. We have enough Depeche Mode knockoffs as is in the electronic world who are too sad for anyone’s sanity. Humor is a good thing. But it should be used wisely instead of so insanely over the top.The ridiculousness obscures the truly impressive compositions such as “I Lie” and “Deep Rest.”

Macada’s voice is also another plus for this album.There is a little bit of sadness in a lot of the lines he sings, but it never gets to the point of being whiny.

Fans of Kenna, Dntel and The Notwist who have senses of humor will clearly get what is going on here. And while the rest of the public might take a little time to come around to Johnny Depth’s quirks, the musical skills exhibited on this album guarantee that people will eventually make it around to appreciating this work.

If you want to check out more of Johnny Depth, you’re not going to be able to find him in stores yet. And since those bastards over at CNET bought up MP3.com, you should point your Web browser over to http://www.funender.com/music/bands/178 and download your life away. Or at least download some of Johnny Depth’s tunes.

MUSIC REVIEW GUIDE

★★★★ ★★★ ★★ ★ no stars

Flawless Good Mediocre Bad Un-listenable

Disappointments of 2003

1. The RIAA sues individual consumers

Just when you thought the record industry couldn’t get any greedier, the Recording Industry decided to sue hundreds of individual file-traders.The insanity (or depravity) reached an alltime low when a 12-year-old girl got sued for downloading “Happy Birthday.” Most cases were settled out of court, costing individual music fans tens of thousands of dollars. It’s great to see Lars Ulrich finally got what he wanted.

2. All-ages venues closed down in C-U

At the beginning of 2003, music fans in ChampaignUrbana were lamenting the small number of all-ages venues in 2003. The problem only managed to get worse when the city of Urbana closed down the Independent Media Center’s performance space.

There was a glimmer of hope when Paradiso started booking shows, but that space didn’t last long. Let’s all hope 2004 sees the opening of several new all-ages venues.

3. Deaths

Every year at the Academy Awards they do that movie of all the year’s deaths. We can’t do that, but some legends did pass this year, and they will be missed. Johnny Cash was just regaining a name for himself, Jammaster Jay of Run-DMC left us and sadly Elliot Smith took his own life.

4. Assembly Hall reels in crap again

The biggest venue in Champaign-Urbana once again dropped the ball on booking quality shows.

Aside from an awesome Pearl Jam and Sparta show, the lineup was lackluster to say the best. John “I wanna be Dave” Mayer, Nickelback (twice in the same year!), Matchbox 20, The Blue Man Group and the ultimate rock force, The Scorpions, made more people shake their heads than buy tickets. Next year, look for bands that actually get respect before booking them at the Hall. And don’t book Nickelback again. Ever.

5. Zwan

A band that had this much talent should have put out a better album. And they should have lasted a lot longer. Billy Corgan’s mood swings once again ruined a great live band.

Chicago will have to keep waiting for its rock ‘n’ roll savior to arrive.

Reader’s top five 1. Andrew WK - The Wolf 2. Metallica - St. Anger 3. Pennywise - From Ashes 4. Ludacris - Chicken and Beer 5. G-Unit - Beg for Mercy Submitted by Jeff Stahl

Next week: Top five holiday songs What’s yours? E-mail us at music@readbuzz.com.

buzz

calendar

DECEMBER 18-DECEMBER 23, 2003 | WANT TO GET YOUR EVENT LISTED ON OUR CALENDAR? Send your listings to calendar@readbuzz.com

Thu 12-4pm, Fri 12-8pm, Sat 10am-6pm. 220 W Washington St, Monticello.

Art Classes at High Cross Studio – All classes are held at High Cross Studio in Urbana. 1101 N High Cross Rd. Email or call for reservations and details. (217) 367-6345 or spiritofsandra@hotmail.com.

“Portrait Paintings with Oils” – This course will provide instruction in painting portraits from photographs. Paint a portrait of your loved one or yourself. Mon-Fri daytime class and weekend workshop offered.

“Collage for the Soul” – Students will learn a variety of collage techniques, including photo and photocopy transfer, papermaking and manipulation, and frontage, while exploring a particular subject, such as a place, a memory, an experience or a relationship. No art-making experience necessary.

“Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain” – For adults who have always wanted to learn to draw, but felt they lacked talent or confidence.

Other Classes:“Making Monoprints,”“Art With Intention” – (Open Studio). For information on these visit http://www.spiritofsandra.com and click on “classes,” then e-mail or call for reservations.

ART EXHIBITS & GALLERIES Boneyard Pottery – Ceramic art by Michael Schwegmann and more. 403 Water St, Champaign. Tue-Sat 11am-5pm.

355-5610.

Broken Oak Gallery – Local and national artists. Original art including photography, watercolors, pottery, oil paintings, colored pencil, woodturning and more.

Refreshments served by the garden all day Saturday.

1865 N 1225 E Rd, White Heath. Thu-Sat 10am-4pm. 7624907.

Cafe Kopi – Photographs from self-taught photographer Lisa Billman on display through December. 109 N Walnut, Champaign. Mon-Thu 7am-11pm, Fri-Sat 7am-12pm, Sun 11am-8pm. 359-4266.

Cinema Galley – Local and regional artists including many University of Illinois and Parkland College faculty members. Currently on display through Dec 24:“Dennis Rowan: New Works on Paper and Artist’s Books.” 120 W Main, Urbana. Holiday Hours: Tue-Sat 10am-7pm, Sun 15pm. 367-3711.

Creation Art Studios – Current display features paintings and drawings by Shoshanna Bauer, Audrey Martin and Jennifer Martin, Jeannine Bestoso and an evolving display of recent student works in ceramics, paintings and drawings. For information, contact Jeannine Bestoso.

1102 E Washington St, Urbana. Mon-Fri 3-5:30pm, Sat 14pm and scheduled studio sessions. 344-6955. www.creationartstudios.com Country in the City – Antiques, architectural, gardening, home accessories. Custom designing available. 1104 E Washington St, Urbana. Thu-Sat 10am-5pm 367-2367.

Framer’s Market – Frame Designers since 1981. Ongoing work from local artists on display. 807 W Springfield Ave, Champaign. Tue-Fri 9:30am-5:30pm, Sat 10am-4pm. 3517020.

Furniture Lounge – Collection of fine art photographic images by local artisan Glenn Harriger on display through Dec 24. Also specializing in mid-century modern furniture from the 1920s-1980s, retro, Danish modern, lighting, vintage stereo equipment and vinyl records. 9 E University, Champaign. 352-5150. Sun-Mon 12-4:30pm, Wed-Sat 11am-5:30pm.

Glass FX – New and antique stained glass windows, lamps and unique glass gifts. Gallery is free and open to the public. Interested in learning the art of stained glass?

Beginning, Intermediate and Advanced Stained Glass Classes offered. 202 S First St, Champaign. Mon-Thu 10am-5:30pm, Fri 10am-5pm, Sat 9am-4pm. 359-0048. www.glassfx.com.

Griggs Street Potters – Handmade functional and decorative pottery. 305 W Grigg St, Urbana. Mon-Fri 11am-4pm, or call for appointment. 344-8546.

Gallery Virtu Cooperative – Original works by the nine artist-owners: jewelry, pottery, paintings, collages, hats, handbags and other textiles, sculptures and journals. The Gallery also offers workshops. 220 W Washington St, Monticello. 762-7790. Thu 12-4pm, Fri 12-8pm, Sat 10am6pm. www.galleryvirtu.org Hill Street Gallery Inc. – Oil and watercolor paintings, hand painted T-shirts, handmade jewelry. 703 W Hill,

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Champaign. Sat 12-5pm or by appointment during the week. 359-0675.

Larry Kanfer Gallery – New Upper Midwest images and sepia Champaign-Urbana Collection on display by renowned photographic artist Larry Kanfer. Ready for the holidays: Prairiescapes and University of Illinois calendars and unique boxed gift cards. Gift certificates available.

2503 S Neil, Champaign. Free and Open to the Public.

Mon-Sat 10am-5:30pm Sun 11am-3pm. 398-2000. www.kanfer.com LaPayne Photography – Specializes in panoramic photography up to 6 feet long of different subjects including sporting events, city skylines, national parks and University of Illinois scenes. 816 Dennison Dr, Champaign. Mon-Fri 9am-4pm and by appointment. 3568994.

Old Vic Art Gallery – Fine and original art, hand-signed limited edition prints, works by local artists, art restoration, custom framing, and periodic shows by local artists.

11 E University, Champaign. Mon-Thu 11am-5:30pm, Sat 11am-4:30pm. 355-8338.

Steeple Gallery – Vintage botanical and bird prints, antiques, framed limited edition prints. 102 E Lafayette St, Monticello. Mon-Fri 9am-5pm, Sat 10am-4pm. 7622924. www.steeplegallery.com Verde Gallery – “Texture of a Place,” paintings by Beth Darling and ceramics of Michael Schewegmann on display through Dec 27. Also featured in the cafe and halls, products from the talented members of the Champaign/Urbana Spinners and Weavers Guild. 17 E Taylor St, Champaign. Cafe hours: Mon-Sat 7am-10 pm; Gallery Hours: Tue-Sat 10am-10pm. 366-3204.

Ziemer Gallery – Original paintings and limited edition prints by Larry Ziemer. Pottery, weavings, wood turning and glass works by other artists. Gallery visitors are welcome to sit, relax, listen to the music and just enjoy being surrounded by art. 210 W Washington, Monticello. Tue 10am-8pm, Wed-Fri 10am-5pm, Sat 10am-4pm. 762-9786. www.ziemergallery.com

ART-ON VIEW NOW Creation Art Studios – Artwork by instructors Jeannine Bestoso, Amy Richardson, and Shoshanna Bauer, along with and art by family and friends of the studio on display at Creation Art Studio. Regular Hours: Mon-Fri 35:30pm, Sat 1-4pm and other scheduled studio times. For more information call Jeannine Bestoso at 344-6955. The studio is located at 1102 E Washington St, Urbana.

“Digital Dabblings” – An eclectic selection of digitally processed photographs by John Sfondilias on display at Aroma Cafe through Jan 31. Subjects include the University’s South Farm and Quad as well as locations as far away as Greece and Turkey. 118 N Neil, Champaign.

Open seven days a week, 7am-midnight. For information contact Amanda Bickle. 356-3200. art4aroma@yahoo.com “Ethereal Organics” – Photographs from Jim Hultquist on display at Cafe Aroma through January. Hultquist:“A project in the study of light interacting with natural forms.”

118 N Neil, Champaign. Open seven days a week, 7ammidnight. For information contact Amanda Bickle. 3563200. art4aroma@yahoo.com “E-Motion2: Our Reality as Seen and Unseen” – A unique dance/technology installation in which programmer Ben Schaeffer, choreographer Luc Vanier and composer Bradford Blackburn come together through motion-capture technology to create an alternate version of reality.

On display at the Krannert Art Museum through Jan 4.

500 E Peabody, Urbana. Tue, Thu-Sat 9am-5pm, Wed 9am8pm, Sun 2-5pm. 333-1860. Suggested Donation: $3 “Anna Pottery: Plagiarism as Art” – Reintroduces Illinois to its greatest potters, the brothers Cornwall and Wallace Kirkpatrick, and their Anna Pottery (1859-96). The exhibition focuses on the brothers’ large-scale incised works that obsessively reproduce texts from quirky yet mundane sources like telephone books and corporate reports. Ahead of its time, the Kirkpatricks’ work is a forerunner to the outsider art and pop art of today. Anna Pottery: Plagiarism as Art is on view through Jan 4. 500 E Peabody, Urbana. Tue, Thu-Sat 9am-5pm, Wed 9am-8pm, Sun 2-5pm. 333-1860. Suggested Donation: $3 “Whistler and Japonisme: Selections from the Permanent Collection” – Marking the 100th anniversary of James McNeill Whistler’s death, this exhibition highlights his works on paper and examines the influence

that Japanese woodcuts had on his artistic technique. On display at the Krannert Art Museum through March 28, 2004. 500 E Peabody, Urbana. Tue, Thu-Sat 9am-5pm, Wed 9am-8pm, Sun 2-5pm. 333-1860. Suggested Donation: $3

NECK PAIN RELIEF

MIND BODY SPIRIT Sunday Zen Meditation Meeting – Prairie Zen Center, 515 S Prospect, Champaign, NW corner Prospect & Green, enter through door from parking area. Introduction to Zen Sitting, 10am; Full Schedule: Service at 9 followed by sitting, Dharma Talk at 11 followed by tea until about noon. Can arrive at any of above times, open to all, no experience needed, no cost. For info call 355-8835 or www.prairiezen.org Clear Sky Zen Group – Meets on Thursday evenings in the Geneva Room of the McKinley Foundation. Newcomers to meditation and people of all traditions and faiths are welcome – McKinley Foundation, 809 S Fifth St, 6:25-9pm Prairie Sangha for Mindfulness Meditation – Monday evenings from 7:30-9pm and monthly retreats on Sunday. Theravadan (Vipassana) and Tibetan (Vjrayana & Dzogchen) meditation practice. Meets in Urbana. More information call or e-mail Tom at 356-7413 or shayir@soltec.net. www.prairiesangha.org Formerly-Fat Persons’ Support Group – Free social meeting every Saturday at 2pm at Aroma Cafe, 118 N Neil St, Champaign. For more information contact Jessica Watson at 353-4934.

Overeaters Anonymous meetings held at Fellowship Circle, 718 S Randolph, Champaign, on Tuesday and Friday at 5:30pm (Contact Lin, 359-4449); at First Presbyterian Church, of Green and Orchard Street, Urbana, on Mon at 7:30pm (Contact Lin 359-4449 or Marcey 356-8748) and on Thursday at 5:30pm at Channing-Murray Foundation. Contact Marcey 356-8748 or Toni 369-6218.

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Page 1

film

moviereview

STUCK ON YOU ★★★

BY MATT PAIS | LEAD REVIEWER

T

hey’ve made movies about idiots licking lamp posts, idiots stalking women and idiots with higher standards than Justin Timberlake. So it’s not especially surprising that the next move for the writing and directing team of Peter and Bobby Farrelly would be to make a movie about idiots who never leave each other’s side. Literally.

Except the refreshing thing about Stuck on You is that conjoined twins Walt (Greg Kinnear) and Bobby Tenor (Matt Damon) aren’t complete morons in the way that Farrelly characters usually are. Whereas the protagonists of Dumb and Dumber, There’s Something about Mary and Shallow Hal were all dimwitted clods and prompted humor based on the audience laughing at them, the Farrellys’ latest movie finally realizes that stronger comedy comes from being able to laugh with the hapless heroes.

The film makes that pretty easy throughout with pointed, amusing jabs at the way that the

moviereview

LOVE DON’T COST A THING ★

BY ANDREW CREWELL | STAFF WRITER

L

BOY THOSE FARRELLY BROTHERS LIKE THINGS THAT ARE STICKY. | DECEMBER 11-DECEMBER 17, 2003 buzz

ove Don’t Cost a Thing is a feel-good movie that just doesn’t make anyone feel good enough. Nick Cannon, Kristina Milian and Steve Harvey tell the same old story, but with an MTV feel that will annoy the audience right out of the theater.

Sixteen years ago, Can’t Buy Me Love came out starring Patrick Dempsey and Seth Green.

Now, in 2003, Warner Brothers packaged the same old garbage with a new wrapping and released it under a new name. Whereas the original had its charm—that innocent 1980s teen romance magic which encompassed an entire genre of movies—this ghetto rerun seems humorous at first but wears on viewers as the film progresses.

Nick Cannon stars as a rich gigolo who spends all of his money to make Christina Milian his girlfriend. His downtrodden social life wears on him, and he decides he only has one last chance to rectify his bad public image before he leaves for college to be a professional engi-nerd. The remedy: for all the “cool” kids in school to see him hanging out with the most

public perceives anyone who falls outside the majority. The Tenor brothers are mocked constantly, but there’s a well-meaning kindness to the jokes in Stuck on You. Such heart didn’t beat nearly as earnestly in Shallow Hal, which only imitated empathy at its end after ridiculing all things fat and ugly for the entirety of the film.

Instead, the inspired humor in Stuck on You comes largely from the many difficulties that Walt and Bobby experience while living their lives as conjoined twins.

And the obstacles are countless: the Tenor brothers play football, golf, tennis, hockey and baseball, and even operate their own shortorder burger joint in their small Massachusetts town. But when Walt’s dreams of becoming an actor take them to Hollywood, the Tenors must confront judgmental L.A. types and show the world that normal is a state of mind.

That the film does effectively normalize Walt and Bobby while still drawing laughs from their everyday plights—hilarious adjustments are made to create privacy during showers and sex—is only one of its surprising successes. The Farrellys have made a career laughing at the mentally and physically challenged, but this time the jokes are more inclusive and that much funnier. Gone is the impression that they want viewers to look around self-consciously while laughing; the Farrellys seem to be through crossing boundaries just for the sake of shrugging their shoulders at the lines of good taste.

Now, they’ve learned to investigate the feelings and experiences that come from being an popular girl, the girl of everyone’s dreams.

After fixing Milian’s crashed Escalade for free to get her out of a jam, Cannon proposes she pose as his girlfriend. In two weeks, he goes from geeky pool boy to romantic juggernaut and lives the life he always thought he wanted.

The problems with this film are so deeply rooted that it’s hard to find a place to start, but the greatest tragedy of all is the script. It would be easy to blame Cannon, but somewhere, there have to be idiots writing this tacky dialogue.

Every word out of Cannon’s mouth is a joke, and he truly looks like a 14-year-old suburban boy mimicking BET’s 106th and Park circa 2001.

Not to entertain the possibility that Snoop’s personal language won’t stand the test of time, but when this film does its “thizzle,” it just doesn’t work out.

Another problem is the fanatical product placement. Sean John apparel is apparently the best thing since sliced bread, and any kid that goes to high school without it has no chance to be cool. Along with Nike, Cadillac, Burberry, Prada and countless others, the film probably paid for itself in endorsement deals.

Not everything is horrible though; Steve Harvey is a breath of fresh air. As Cannon’s father, Harvey gives a comedic performance while backing up his son’s attempt to get with the ladies. His constant singing and dancing to Al Green and Earth, Wind and Fire is proof that this film doesn’t completely follow the storyline of its predecessor, and provides some sort of name recognition the movie horribly needs to increase audience interest. But unfortunately, it is too little, too late.

STUCK ON YOU | MATT DAMON, GREG KINNEAR pushed to the side as a friend to the brothers.

Spending the majority of her time onscreen in a bikini, Mendes was clearly hired for her body rather than her acting, but in that sense, the casting couldn’t be better.

Though it is a bit longer than necessary— there are at least two places that would have made equally satisfying endings—Stuck on You remains an often hilarious, insightful comedy about finding love and happiness in the face of biological barriers. It’s a respectful mix of comedy and compassion, a formula that the Farrellys will hopefully stick with.

THE LAST SAMURAI ★★

All in all, Love Don’t Cost a Thing is a travesty. The story is so transparent that you could walk in 20 minutes late and not miss a beat.

Instead of paying Milian, Cannon should stick to paying R. Kelly to make him look cool and keep releasing R&B tracks. Milian is a goodlooking young lady, but can be seen elsewhere.

And if it’s the story that’s interesting—not that everyone can’t guess how it ends—the original is cheaper to rent and the snacks are cheaper at home.

SCREEN REVIEW GUIDE

★★★★ ★★★ ★★ ★ no stars

Flawless Good Mediocre Bad Unwatchable

DECEMBER 18-DECEMBER 23, 2003 | WHAT ABOUT KID ROCK’S NEW ALBUM??

BY BRIAN MERTZ | MUSIC EDITOR

C-UViews

LOVE DON’T COST A THING | NICK CANNON

buzz

Buzz’s favorite albums of 2003

anomaly rather than just exploiting the pain.

Of course, the Farrellys still aren’t above subjecting Walt and Bobby to a few pratfalls or slapstick shots to the face. Some of the gags land with an awkward thud, and the film moves with a strange streakiness that could be mapped with a sine curve. But when it’s funny, it’s really funny, and even when it’s not, Stuck on You has a good-natured glee that keeps things entertaining at the points when the comedy strikes out.

Much of that comes from the delightful performances of Kinnear and Damon, who help establish Walt and Bobby as legitimate people rather than as a walking deformity to be demoralized. Kinnear has the juicier role, as Walt’s enthusiasm and persistence livens things up when Bobby becomes predictably downcast about his lot in life. Together, however, the two Oscar nominees are perfectly matched, and the obvious fun that they have in playing the cheerful Tenor brothers only bolsters the giddy enjoyment of the film itself.

A startling number of familiar faces appear throughout Stuck on You, each employed to varying purpose. Seymour Cassel is side-splittingly hilarious as a Hollywood agent who hasn’t learned anything new about the business in a few decades, and Meryl Streep’s cameo further confirms the actress as one of the industry’s hippest matriarchs.

Cher doesn’t fare quite as well in a role that’s meant to be ironic but merely feels appropriately obnoxious, and Eva Mendes is largely

WARNER BROTHERS FILMS

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12/17/03

PARAMOUNT PICTURES

121803buzz0714

Lindsay Lichtenberg Champaign

“I hate ninjas.”

★★★ Brian Van Brussel Champaign

“Cruise’s best performance since Days of Thunder.”

★★★★ Ehab El-Khabiry Champaign

“It’s a gross misrepresentation of Japanese culture, but it had good action.”

End of the year Top 10 lists always seem to be hard for me to put together. Either I’m stuck with one of those stellar years where there are about 25 albums that all could be on the Top 10 list in a different year, or there are a handful of standouts and then a struggle to fill out the rest of the list. This year was a mixture of both, which made it even harder.

Anyhow, here are my Top 10 of 2003. You can love ‘em or hate ‘em. Just remember that it can’t be bullshit to state a preference.

1. Postal Service - Give Up This was at the top of my list since its release early in the year and nothing ever came close to knocking it off. Somehow the happy electronic beats of Jimmy Tamborello and the emo lyrics and lilting voice of Ben Gibbard fit perfectly.

Give Up will inspire tons of indie kids to pick up some sequencers and drum machines and also convince the dance kids to find guitars.

2. Saxon Shore - Four Months of Darkness Very rarely have I ever put a five-song EP on my Top 10 lists. And never has there been a purely instrumental album. But Four Months of Darkness floored me the first time I heard it and still deeply moves me with every listen. I never thought that there was a way to completely capture melancholy on an album, but Saxon Shore did. Four Months of Darkness can be a tough album to track down, but when you are feeling sad or just quiet, it is indispensable.

3. Absinthe Blind - Rings For as much as I’ve written about Absinthe Blind, I have never written a full review of Rings. And I don’t intend to start here in this little space. I’ll just state two simple things.

First, for about three weeks straight, this album was the only music I listened to.

Second, Rings was without a doubt the best local album in 2003.

4. Radiohead - Hail To The Thief Don’t accuse me of trying to earn cred points by putting HTTT at number four. Over time it became clear that this album isn’t as astounding as originally thought. With that said, it still is at number four because Radiohead still know how to make intelligent, groundbreaking music. They just didn’t break as much ground as they could have with this release.

5. Cardia - Cardia When I was first handed a CD that was billed as the new projects for former members of The Verve Pipe and Rival Schools I cringed.

I hate those bands. But I love Cardia. These boys simply know how to write great songs.

Top that off with soaring falsettos that can only be beat by that guy from The Darkness, and you have an intensely beautiful album.

6. Mates of State - Team Boo I’m not sure if it is the music or the trying times that I was going through when I first got my hands on Team Boo, but I have a deep bond

with this album. Musically, Mates deserve praise for sticking to their sound, but still pushing it in new directions. And their track, “Parachutes (Funeral Song)” is without a doubt the best song of the year in my book.

7. Tim Deluxe - The Little Ginger Club Kid Finally, a dance album makes this DJ’s Top 10 list. This album could make next year’s list too, because Little Ginger Club Kid hasn’t even been released in the U.S. yet. This album hearkens back to the golden era of house, from 1998-2000, when tunes made your feet move, they uplifted your soul and they never once gave off the aura of being stupid.

BY JACOB DITTMER | ASSISTANT MUSIC EDITOR So much music comes out every week, let alone in a year, that it is always hard to encapsulate the year’s “best.” This year didn’t see any standout stellar albums like last year’s Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots and Yankee Hotel Foxtrot. But it did offer a lot of lower-key quality records from some new and up-and-coming artists.

There were some big hitters (The White Stripes, The Strokes, Radiohead) releasing records that drew a lot of praise from the mainstream, but this list is for the l e s s e r k n o w n artists that deserve equal praise.

PHOTO | CHRISTINE LITAS

8. Longwave - The Strangest Things There is something impressive about a band that can do the retro-garage sound for a few songs and then switch it up and do heartwarming emo songs. Even more impressive is that The Strangest Things is solid from start to finish—a rare quality in today’s music world.

9. Death Cab for Cutie - Transatlanticism It is the year of the Gibbard. Here, back with his bandmates from Seattle, Gibbard and the rest of Death Cab do what they do best: craft songs that make you think, make you cry and make you rock out all at once.

10. d-Lo & Spinnerty - Play It On The Porch I’ll admit that I don’t know a ton about hip hop. But I do know the good stuff when I hear it (and I don’t mean Bone Crusher). Local hiphop DJs d-Lo and Spinnerty not only packed this mix CD with the good stuff, but their mixing skills have wowed even those most picky DJs. This mix is so good that it even made URB magazine’s Top 10 mix CDs of 2003.

1. d-Lo and Spinnerty - Play it on the Porch Local DJs d-Lo and Spinnerty created a masterful mix CD with Play it on the Porch. Sure, it isn’t a complete original work, but d-Lo and Spinnerty managed to blend each song into the next without ever boring the listener. From start to finish this CD entertains even the most complacent of listeners, forcing them to bob their heads to the beat. It’s refreshing to know that right here in C-U there are some amazing DJs that can make a sweet-ass mix.

2. Atmosphere – Seven’s Travels Atmosphere and their label Ryhmesayers did well for themselves with Seven’s Travels.

Semi-major and notorious punk label Epitaph picked up Atmosphere’s third album, giving it just enough boost for national attention. MC Slug and Ant scored big with this release, whose single, “Trying to Find a Balance,” has managed to find a home on MTV2. Fans of this record should check out Brother Ali’s release.

7

music

3. M83 – Dead Cities, Read Seas & Lost Ghosts Basically we have to thank pitchforkmedia.com for finding this excellent album. This music is as if Beethoven had risen from the grave and figured out how to create electronic music. This French duo utilizes all the trappings of quality classical music with the wondrous capabilities of electronic music to make an amazing record.

4. My Morning Jacket – It Still Moves My Morning Jacket’s third release continues on the track of creating quality southern folkrock. Singer/songwriter Jim James makes some of the best five-minute pop songs of the year. A modern day amalgam of the Band and Neil Young, My Morning Jacket’s music manages to draw the listener in as it travels across a broad range of sounds.

5. Menomena – I am the Fun Blame Monster Every year there are CDs that just grab you from the first drum beat. Menomena came out of nowhere (Portland, to be exact) with their debut album, which manages to craft a luscious layering of sound. These guys are just awesome musicians and they crafted an awesome sound.

6. The Decemberists – Her Majesty At the helm of the Decemberists lies Colin Meloy, whose lyrics are tales of a place and time that isn’t anything like 2003. Found on Her Majesty are some of the most intelligent songs of the year and manage to incorporate words like truncate and callow. (When’s the last time you heard Justin Timberlake say truncate?)

7. Grandaddy – Sumday Modesto’s Grandaddy managed to follow up the breathtaking beauty of Sophtware Slump with Sumday (love those puns). This album sounds like an environmental activist version of Radiohead, with the melding of electronic sounds to their folky acoustic sound.

8. Andrew Bird – Weather Systems This is a surprisingly excellent album given its minimalist creation and sound. Andrew Bird decided to give a stripped sound to his first solo effort apart from his backing band Bowl of Fire. This is largely Bird’s album with his voice, violin and whistle coming together perfectly.

9. Sufjan Stevens – Michigan Sufjan Steven has made a concept album about Michigan that evokes so much of what the state is like. Not only that, but he manages to play 25 instruments, which makes this an excellent orchestral pop record.

10. The Shins – Chutes to Narrow This is a perfect follow-up to a stunning debut. It expands on the sound of Oh, Inverted World with crisper production, sharper melodies, and a lovely exploration of ‘60s-style folk pop. In a year full of amazing pop albums, these unlikely New Mexicans pull through with an album that we’ll be replaying for years to come.

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arts

I SHOULD BE WORKING FOR THE ONION...THEY’D APPRECIATE ME! | DECEMBER 18-DECEMBER 23, 2003

Victory Gardens Theater

BY JEFF NELSON | CONTRIBUTING WRITER

wrights-in-residence with such hits as The God of Isaac and Beau Jest. His ability at situational hicago’s Victory Gardens Theater, with its comedy is nothing less than superlative as he tradition of resident playwrights and pre- can keep one-liners in the context of a fastmiering new stage works, has certainly been moving plot with great skill. He scores again on the cutting edge of the Chicago theater with a spoof on Moliere.

How many theatergoers are aware of the scene for years. Its efforts have not gone unnoticed, as it has acquired a huge subscriber list, fact that after Shakespeare, Moliere, is the most critical attention and the Tony Award for performed playwright worldwide? Though the play is set in today’s Chicago, it is full of Regional Theater in 2001.

Earlier this season, the theater gave us the Moliere’s stock characters—the young naive surprise 2003 Pulitzer Prize winner in a won- man and woman, the old fool, the greedy childerful production that continues at another dren and the con artists. Sherman never claims venue, and now a world premiere of James to be totally original, but his construction of Sherman’s Affluenza! Sherman is one of the this story of human greed and deception most successful of the Victory Gardens’ play- would make Moliere proud. He even writes this modern story in rhyming couplets, just as Moliere did!

I only wish director Dennis Zacek’s cast were as good as the material. They have their moments of inspired madness, but they often seem uneasy in this fast-paced, rhyming couplet delivery, and the level of delivery is uneven. But it is just too difficult to dislike a work so clever and a cast that tries hard even when they fail. Put this on your list for those winter weekends when you are not sure what to see and you cannot get Lion King tickets. Affluenza! continues at the Victory Gardens, 2257 N. Lincoln, AFFLUENZA! at Victory Gardens Theater, playing through until Dec. 28.

Dec. 28, 2003

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buzz

ARTIST CORNER

P

aul Serbin is a University of Illinois English student who department teachers love to hate and fellow students love. A powerhouse of energy, Serbin walks with an upturned collar and a cigarette carelessly stuck in his mouth, requesting the Paradiso barista surprise him with the flavor of his tea. Trying to capture Serbin in ink is the problem Jack Kerouac faced when striving to force the personality of Neal Cassady into volumes of books. In conversation, Serbin jumps from one subject to the next, with little segue in between, save his catch phrase: “It’s a funny story...,” which works its way into every conversation.

University student Rachel Toler smiles knowingly while describing the man, the myth, the legend: “When you first meet Paul, chances are that he’ll probably say something completely politically incorrect and offensive.

But once you get to know him, you realize that he doesn’t necessarily mean what he says—he’s just too lazy to explain what he really means.”

He bakes, he writes poetry and he’s got your back in a fight—what more could you want in a man?

What do you write about?

The bulk of what I write about is what I’ve experienced. I have a diverse background, and I enjoy meeting people who are different from me. I like to try to find out what their perspectives on life are. I get a lot out of talking to people and observing them—what drives them. Universally, I think people want to be understood. Hatred stems from a lack of voice and writing gives you that voice.

How do you view your art?

I think art is meant to be performed—my art, anyway. On the page, it doesn’t hold much power, but when I perform it, it becomes meaningful. I like to make life theatrical—to add a little spice.

EDITOR’S NOTE: These 10 films were selected by lead reviewer Matt Pais. Because of the Academy Awards season, many high quality films are either not released until Dec. 31 (the last day that a film can open to be considered for this year’s Oscars) or do not expand to cities such as Champaign-Urbana until early 2004.

Oscar hopefuls such as Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (which recently won Best Picture from the New York Film Critics), Big Fish, Cannes Film Festival winner Elephant, 21 Grams, House of Sand and Fog and Monster could not be considered for this list. Each of the following 10 films have either been shown in a local theater or are now available on DVD at local video stores.

ple to better understand themselves.

Where’s the best place to find conversation?

Wherever I am. Kidding. Nah, it doesn’t matter where you are, but when. It’s gotta be late at night at a coffeehouse or Perkins.

There’s people out there that just want to talk, they don’t care what about. You can’t just go somewhere and find conversation, you’ve gotta make it. You’ve gotta weed it out of yourself and who you’re talking to.

In three words, how would you describe yourself?

(Chuckling) There’s no way.

In the valleys rushed the strawberry farmers like cockroaches caught in the light, eagerly snatching up the lowly migrant workers, who hurriedly packed the pickups, combatting for any open spot, any little area contorting their bodies to cram in,

107 N. Walnut Downtown Champaign 359.2195

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behind.

Trucks roared around this tiny dustbowl packed to the brim with fresh batches of immigrants.

Hours on hours of backbreaking toil in the dry heat and suffocating smog, fingers blistered and burned, backs ached, faces scorched, mouths dried, and eyes burned, all for a buck— perhaps enough to buy some food for that night, just enough to feed the little ones— perhaps not.

film

| LET THE ACADEMY SEE THIS LIST.

BY MATT PAIS | LEAD REVIEWER

unwilling to be left

Why do all the teachers hate you and all the students love you?

Well, I don’t think ALL the teachers hate me. I think people don’t like my unwillingness to conform. I don’t think I’m above the rules—I just don’t like them. To me, the rules in place aren’t conducive to a learning environment. There shouldn’t be such a hierarchy in teaching. The professor shouldn’t come into the classroom presenting himself as above the students. Experience shouldn’t dictate power—leadership roles should come from your ability to guide peo-

buzz DECEMBER 18-DECEMBER 23, 2003

15

Quiet Girls and violent Bill : 2003’s best films

BY NIK GALLICCHIO | STAFF WRITER

PHOTO | NIK GALLICCHIO

121803buzz0615

1. All the Real Girls

In a year full of loud, violent epics, the best movie is also the quietest. Writer/director David Gordon Green effortlessly gives All the Real Girls the calm texture of a Midwestern stream, and every scene is almost lulling in its hushed passion. Paul Schneider and Zooey Deschanel turn in moving, simple performances, emphasized by the year’s most gloriously stripped-down dialogue. This is one of the most vivid, entrancing presentations of young love ever made, but the true beauty of the thrillingly original All the Real Girls is that it doesn’t just look like love; it feels like it as well.

2. Kill Bill: Volume One

Quentin Tarantino’s obscenely violent ode to his most indulgent ‘70s influences is pretentious to the point of selfishness, but it’s also the most dizzyingly exciting two hours of film this year. Kill Bill: Volume One chops all those involved into little pieces: characters and audience members, conventions and expectation. Its soul is invigoratingly frantic, amplifying its sources—which range from

blaxploitation to kung fu to anime to spaghetti Westerns—with a sneering modernism that is pure Tarantino. But the most deadly thing about Kill Bill is having to wait until February for Volume Two.

3. Lost in Translation

There’s a certain mystifying intangibility to Lost in Translation, like a vacation that doesn’t seem great until it’s over. Floating through separate stays in Japan, Bill Murray and Scarlett Johannson find in each other a spiritual, not romantic, soul mate. With this, Sofia Coppola’s funny, dreamlike drama offers a realistically indefinable relationship that spectacularly captures the giddy intoxication of newfound emotional connection. The platonic bond shared between Murray and Johannson, and the movie itself, have an unspoken exquisiteness worth discussing for many days after first viewing.

4. American Splendor

Harvey Pekar spent every day as a malevolent caricature, so it was only appropriate that he would turn his life into a blue-collar comic book. American Splendor, the film adaptation of Pekar’s series of the same name, has a wonderfully unique visual style that tells its triumphantly regular story from the outside, inside, front and back. In chronicling Pekar’s humdrum life as a cartoonishly grumpy Cleveland medical clerk, Shari Springer Berman and Robert Pulcini mix live-action with animation and cinematic recreation with behind-the-scenes silliness. Hilarious, heartfelt and featuring a breakout performance from Paul Giamatti, the power of American Splendor and its comic-book-come-to-life atmosphere make The Hulk look tame.

5. The Station Agent

The diminutive Peter Dinklage may not be tall, but every scene of the The Station Agent benefits from his giant presence. As Fin, a dwarf forced to rethink his isolationist tendencies when he meets two other loners, Dinklage finds an endearing open-

ness beneath Fin’s closed-off exterior. This sweet, softly memorable film about the way that personal hobbies and mutual loneliness can spark the deepest friendships shows that small-bodied movies—and actors—sometimes have the biggest hearts.

minutes of The School of Rock, the year’s most winningly mainstream comedy. Undeniably formulaic but irresistibly amusing, this uplifting tale of a slacker who forms an all-kid band doesn’t just rock. It’s the most fun, smile-inducing movie of 2003.

6. Thirteen

8. Whale Rider

One of the most culturally troubling films in a while, Thirteen easily could have turned out as a big screen after-school special. On the contrary, this gritty, documentary-style drama sculpts a haunting and altogether believable portrait of young girls experimenting with sex, drugs and masochism. There are several moments of teenage angst that have been seen before, just not like this. With saddened sincerity, Thirteen shows the many holes into which vulnerable young girls can fall. It doesn’t suggest that such amoral descent is probable but shows, with graphic honesty, that it is indisputably possible.

7. The School of Rock

A lot of people might not get Mike White’s twisted sense of humor or Richard Linklater’s spirited indie direction. Even more people probably find Jack Black more annoying than a lifetime supply of 1-800-Collect commercials.

But those people would be hard-pressed to keep a straight face for more than a few

Keisha Castle-Hughes is a marvel in the gentle, allegorical Whale Rider, which tells a culturally specific tale without any of the generic indifference of Bend it Like Beckham, Real Women Have Curves, or the holy grail of foreign idiocy, My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Rather, Niki Caro’s thoughtful, inspirational telling of an old Maori legend feels respectfully ethnic but gratifyingly universal. Whale Rider manages to be satisfying without being saccharine, and Hughes, only 11 at the time of filming, is truly unforgettable. I can’t remember the last debut performance that took me on such a ride.

9. Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World

Russell Crowe always announces his Oscar eligibility with a big, dramatic boom, but no movie boomed louder this year than Master and Commander. Directed with historical gusto by Peter Weir, this epic of ocean-size proportions counters its grand battle sequences with tranquil, slower sequences that develop the crew of the HMS Surprise as far more than seafaring stereotypes. This sweeping adaptation of two of Patrick O’Brian’s legendary novels is more than a history lesson; in the most thrilling, human way, Weir brings the past to life.

10. The Shape of Things

Back in characteristically cynical form for the first time since Your Friends and Neighbors, Neil LaBute envisions the relationships between male and female college students as a battleground of egocentric deception. While he fails slightly as a director—the film still feels like the off-Broadway play it is based on—LaBute the writer delivers acidtongued barbs that land harder than Master and Commander’s cannonballs. While All the Real Girls articulates the power of love with the directness of Cupid’s arrow, The Shape of Things plays out with the devilish poison of Cupid’s evil twin.

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CHECK OUT DIANE KEATON NAKED. | DECEMBER 18-DECEMBER 23, 2003

Drive-thru Reviews

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SOMETHING’S GOTTA GIVE ★★★★

BY JOHN LOOS | STAFF WRITER

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BAD SANTA ★★★

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omeone should put Diane Keaton on the cover of Maxim magazine. She may be 57, but she is flat-out gorgeous. When she smiles, which she does quite a bit in this sunny romantic creation, we do see her age subtly decorate her face, but those gentle wrinkles only affirm that this woman got to where she is today without Botox injections or face lifts. She’s a natural beauty, and Something’s Gotta Give is a sexy, innocent, lighthearted celebration of her—the unsung older woman of a Hollywood obsessed with youth.

Written and directed by Nancy Meyers, the woman behind What Women Want, the film involves a sly, aging playboy named Harry (played by the epitome of sly, aging playboys— Jack Nicholson) who follows his young girlfriend Marin (Amanda Peet) to her mom’s beach house in the Hamptons. As soon as he can get his pants off, Harry is discovered in the kitchen by Marin’s mother Erica (Keaton) and her Aunt Zoe (Frances McDormand), who at first are shocked, but decide to accept the situation and let Harry stay. Not long after, Harry has a heart attack and must stay at Erica’s beach house to recuperate on orders from his doctor, Julian (Keanu Reeves).

This acceptable setup allows for Erica, a divorced playwright, and Harry, a never-married music executive, to get expectedly closer.

As soon as they do, however, it’s obvious the film isn’t about the means in which they are brought together. It’s about how two older people on the “downslide” of life discover together, to their surprise, that love truly has no expiration date. A scene in which Harry and Erica, clothed in light earthen tones, stroll down a glowing beach together near sunset has the look, feel and sound of a classic moment in cinematic history. Like Woody Allen’s scene with Keaton in Annie Hall with the Brooklyn bridge

SOMETHING’S GOTTA GIVE | JACK NICHOLSON stretching across the background, there’s a timelessness to this beach scene, and several others, thanks to Nicholson’s surprisingly gentle line delivery and Keaton’s ship-launching smile and infectious laugh.

What keeps the entire film from being as potentially classic as Annie Hall is the unfortunate devotion Meyers has to some basic plot devices. Julian, for example, begins to court Erica so as to have a rare younger man/older woman relationship to juxtapose Harry’s tailchasing reputation. While this tweak to the story has potential, and Julian is played with undeniable (and unexpected) charm by Reeves, in the end, his character never amounts to more than a symbol. He’s simply one more expected obstacle that Erica and Harry have to surmount on their journey toward each other. The film also utilizes temporary goodbyes, moments of great reconsideration, and lots of reoccurring, quirky dialogue for dramatic impact, all pillars that support almost every romantic comedy of the last 10 years.

But what makes this film unlike your normal Sandra Bullock or Julia Roberts fluff are the exchanges between Keaton and Nicholson.

They speak their age, and they speak it well, giving insight and understanding to a genre seemingly dominated by young feather-brains.

Both characters are intelligent, confused, uncertain, excitable souls, and both actors infuse them with such vitality and energy that the chemistry they share feels so beautifully rare it was probably thought extinct in American cinema. Thankfully, it is not.

In the end, however, this truly is Keaton’s film. While the always-remarkable Nicholson has some revelatory and tender moments, and the rest of the cast stands tall, the film gets its unmistakable shine from Keaton and her eversharp comic timing, her winning personality and charm, and the beauty, both inner and outer, that she effortlessly radiates throughout each scene. While at 57 most women would feel their prime has long passed them by, Keaton, in every way, is still very much embedded in hers.

She, through Erica, reminds women, and men too, that your prime is only truly over when you want it to be.

BILLY BOB THORNTON AND BERNIE MAC Any way you cut it, Bad Santa accomplishes something that has never been done before. It makes an absolute travesty of something as wholesome and serene as Christmas, and does it without falling completely on its face. Just don’t take the little ones to see it, or you’ll have a lot of explaining to do.

(Andrew Crewell) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy

BROTHER BEAR ★★ JOAQUIN PHOENIX AND PHIL COLLINS While American animators still have a long way to go to achieve the sheer grandeur and exhilarating imagination of foreign animation, such as in last year’s Spirited Away, Brother Bear shows they do have their moments. It’s just unfortunate that their visuals have to be spoiled by rudimentary plots, discardable characters and downright ugly music.(John Loos) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy

ELF ★★★ WILL FERRELL AND JAMES CAAN The film itself really makes no attempts to hide its basic premise as a Christmas movie.There’s Santa, perfectly played by Ed Asner.There’s the head elf, portrayed by Bob Newhart.There’s the grumpy, anti-Christmas guy, James Caan. (Dan Maloney) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy

GOTHIKA ★★ HALLE BERRY AND ROBERT DOWNEY JR. Halle Berry looks unattractive and Robert Downey Jr. doesn’t do drugs. If that’s not totally crazy enough, Berry also plays a psychiatrist who becomes a client. This film is doing modest business, although it is very predictable.

Now showing at Beverly and Savoy

THE HAUNTED MANSION

EDDIE MURPHY AND JENNIFER TILLY Ever since he started making kid comedies, Eddie Murphy has become sweeter than candy. This continues the trend that Eddie Murphy only makes terrible, terrible, terrible movies. that no one could possibly like if they are older than a grade-schooler. (Jason Cantone) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy

HONEY ★★ JESSICA ALBA AND LIL’ ROMEO Honey outperforms its expectations. Projected by some to be the next Glitter, Mariah Carey’s acting fiasco, the picture is a mild success. Taking the story with a grain of salt, since some scenes are straight out of another universe, there seems to be something for everyone.The dancing is fun, the kids are cute, Alba is easy on the eyes and the soundtrack is hot.These days, that’s about all anyone can ask for. (Andrew Crewell) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy

THE LAST SAMURAI ★★★★ TOM CRUISE AND KEN WATANABE The Last Samurai is an epic adventure with a great soul and a great message. With so many bad samurai movies in the vaults, it is refreshing to see a film finally relate the concept of the samurai to moviegoers in a way they can understand: a Tom Cruise flick. One of the year’s best films and one of Tom Cruise’s best performances. (John Piatek) Opening at Beverly and Savoy

LOVE ACTUALLY ★★★ HUGH GRANT AND EMMA THOMPSON The film’s delicate blend of outrageous comedic scenes, which also prove that Brits can perform slapstick and dry humor equally, mix well with heartwarming confessions from each of the characters. A holiday romantic classic for people of all generations. (Janelle Greenwood) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy

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DECEMBER 18-DECEMBER 23 | SOMEDAY SOMEONE WILL APPRECIATE MY HILARIOUS FAKE HEADLINES

Pottery verbalizes Krannert

LOVE DON’T COST A THING ★ STEVE HARVEY AND NICK CANNON All in all, Love Don’t Cost a Thing is a travesty. The story is so transparent that you could walk in twenty minutes late and not miss a beat. Instead of Milian, Cannon should stick to paying R. Kelly to make him look cool and keep releasing R&B tracks. Milian is a good-looking young lady, but can be seen elsewhere. (Andrew Crewell) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy

BY NIK GALLICCHIO | STAFF WRITER

T

MASTER AND COMMANDER ★★★★

hough small, the Anna Pottery Exhibit, Plagiarism as Art, at the Krannert Art Museum has a lot to offer. In an effort to reintroduce Illinois potters to their state, the exhibit demonstrates the works of artists who were ahead of their time. The pottery currently shown at the museum was made in the late 19th century by the Kirkpatrick brothers, who settled in Anna, Ill. in 1859. Their crafts include “directory wares,” pig flasks and a snake jug.

There are only 10 directory wares known to exist, and the Krannert Art Museum currently boasts over four.

These pieces of pottery are so named because of the artwork they feature. Engraved on the clay are words that come from mundane sources like the city directory. Even the script of the lettering in these sources is matched on the jug. This obsession with reproduction is one of the most interesting facets of Anna pottery.

The Kirkpatrick Brothers were the forerunners of pop art—modern pieces take everyday concepts and juxtapose them with something

RUSSELL CROWE AND PAUL BETTANY Weir buffs will get a kick out of watching this film and remembering The Truman Show. While Truman’s aquatic-oriented scenes introduced the director’s ability to craft stimulating scenes of sea-swept peril, Master and Commander achieves a far higher degree of oceanic fanfare. It’s a glorious tale of adventure on the high seas sure to put wind in any landlubber’s sails. (Matt Pais) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy.

THE MISSING ★★★ TOMMY LEE JONES AND CATE BLANCHETT Despite its historical resonance, there’s something missing from The Missing, and after more than two long hours that something is, surprisingly, heart. What begins as a brave, passionate story of one family’s resolve winds up as little more than a sprawling, forgettable rescue mission. (Matt Pais) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy

PIECES OF APRIL ★★★★ KATIE HOLMES AND PATRICIA CLARKSON Katie Holmes yet again proves to be one of Hollywood’s greatest young talents in this heartwarming and heartsmashing black comedy. A true treat, if maybe a little late for the Thanksgiving theme it oozes. (Jason Cantone) Now showing at Beverly

SOMETHING’S GOTTA GIVE ★★★★ JACK NICHOLSON AND DIANE KEATON This truly is Keaton’s film. While the always-remarkable Nicholson has some revelatory and tender moments, and the rest of the cast stands tall, the film gets its unmistakable shine from Keaton and her ever-sharp comic timing, her winning personality and charm, and the beauty that she effortlessly radiates throughout each scene. (John Loos) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy

Highlights from the past year

STUCK ON YOU ★★★

COMPILED BY KATIE RICHARDSON | ARTS EDITOR

MATT DAMON AND GREG KINNEAR Though it is a bit longer than necessary—there are at least two places that would have made equally satisfying endings—Stuck on You remains an often hilarious, insightful comedy about finding love and happiness in the face of biological barriers. It’s a respectful mix of comedy and compassion, a formula that the Farrellys will hopefully stick with. (Matt Pais) Now showing at Beverly and Savoy

Mousetrap April 10

By Lindsey Donnell | staff writer The New Revels Players’ production of Mousetrap: A Loose Adaptation of Hamlet, forces Shakespeare’s classic play into new territory.

Hamlet is away at college and exploring his sexuality, Ophelia hopes to get into Harvard, Gertrude is a corporate power player and Horatio is a gay gallery owner.

Amy Clay, Mousetrap playwright and former University of Illinois student, drew on her

OPENING THIS WEEKEND MONA LISA SMILE

JULIA ROBERTS AND KIRSTEN DUNST Julia Roberts plays a free-spirited professor who tries to convince women at a boarding school that life isn’t all about marrying men and becoming housewives. Expect many speechs about intellectual freedom and if that doesn’t sound exciting, I don’t know what does. (Jason Cantone) Opening at Beverly and Savoy

MY LIFE WITHOUT ME

SARAH POLLEY AND SCOTT SPEEDMAN A woman with terminal cancer decides to live life to its fullest and falls in love. Nominated for Best Film at both Canada’s Goya Awards and the European Film Awards. Playing for only one week, so check it out. (Jason Cantone) Opening at Beverly

RETURN OF THE KING

ELIJAH WOOD AND IAN MCKELLAN The final installment of the Lord of the Rings trilogy could quite possibly be the best. Advance ticket sales are already available. If you don’t know what this movie is about, get out from under a rock. (Jason Cantone) Opened Wednesday ay 12:01am at Beverly and Savoy

SEABISCUIT ★★★★ TOBEY MAGUIRE AND JEFF BRIDGES Race choreographer Chris McCarron's attention to detail is a credit to the legend, and the camera work makes the viewers feel as if they are in the race. (Andrew Crewell) Opening at Boardman’s for one week

out of the ordinary. The Kirkpatricks were ahead of their time concerning style, but their political humor carved out a place in history.

The two pig flasks featured in the exhibit epitomize the Kirkpatrick wit. There is a hole in the pig’s rear out of which one can drink, and the design featured along the “Western Route” pig’s body is that of a Railroad route that runs from St. Louis to California. The humor is evident when one inspects the labels of land areas on different parts of the pig: the genitalia, for example, are named “Hot Springs,” (Arkansas) and the anus “California.” Humor was a big part of the Kirkpatricks’ art. While often overt, some of the more subtle ironic twists risk being overlooked.

Though Cornwall Kirkpatrick obsessively filled in every inch of his pottery with artwork, in “The Fifth Annual Southern Illinois Fair Directory” ware, there is a sizeable rectangle void of any sort of design. It is interesting to think about the reason behind this choice— perhaps he was poking fun at his own art style, or the blank space serves as a mirror, offering the viewer his or her own place in Kirkpatrick’s art. The various theories are mused over by resident Anna Pottery expert

experiences to write her first full-length play.

Clay also wanted to explore the psyche of the adolescent female in the context of modern pressures after reading the book Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls.

After Whiteness Oct. 9

By Matt Cohn | staff writer Art audiences and historians spend their lives trying to reconstruct the worlds in which art pieces were created. Over time, this cultural process has given birth to a self-conscious art world, to a limited extent. Some artists and historians have begun to look at art as not just a source of sensory and emotional pleasure, but also as a product that represents the social sphere in which it was produced.

The upcoming symposium at the Levis Faculty Center, “After Whiteness, Race and the From Mousetrap by Lindsey Dowell, which ran on April 10, 2003.

Visual Arts,”

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Richard Mohr. Mohr, a professor of philosophy at the University of Illinois, wrote a book on Anna Pottery and its political and artistic agendas. As a fan of the pottery and as the guest curator of the show, he encourages people to come to the exhibit to see the interesting issues the Kirkpatricks make known in their art.

“Come and see just how crazy Illinois artists can be—they’ve been crazy for over a hundred years,” Mohr said.

One of the most fascinating pieces is the snake jug. Over its surface, there are a dozen writhing snakes, the rear ends of two young men and the head of one old, grizzled man about to be devoured.

Poetically dark, this piece is theorized to take an ironic stance against Prohibition.

While the two young men seem to be diving into the contents of the jug, assumed to be alcohol, one man is finally released from the seduction of alcohol only to be old, ugly and at the end of his life.

Whatever the messages in their art, the Kirkpatricks show a mastery of craft and wit that does not deserve to be ignored. The exhibit runs until Jan. 4. buzz will serve as a forum for artists, historians and art critics who have begun exploring unconscious social biases and privileges they believe have unfairly shaded the art world.

“Whiteness consists of the presumptive, often unconscious power brought about by being classified as white in social and cultural settings,” said Suk Ja Kang Engles, a University of Illinois graduate student in Fine and Applied Arts and co-organizer (along with Tim Engles) of the symposium.

Amazing songbirds Oct. 16

By Katie Richardson | arts editor When Kristina Boerger started Amasong in 1991, the only requirement for any perspective member was to be able to hold a tune in a bucket. Six years later, Champaign-Urbana’s premier lesbian/feminist choir won a Gay/Lesbian American Music Award for its first album, The Water is Sweet Over Here.

University Professor of Journalism Jay Rosenstein calls Amasong’s accomplishment an “amazing rags to riches story,” and the ambitious documentary, Singing Out, attempts to capture that incredible tale.

The documentary, which will air on WIRO Channel 12 on Nov. 4 and 7 at 9 p.m., was made over a four-year span and focuses mainly on the musical contribution of Boerger, not only to Amasong, but to the community.

Rosenstein considers Boerger a “musical genius” and says the first time he heard the choir she started and directed for nine years, he was extremely impressed and touched by Amasong’s strong commitment to singing. He was also fascinated by the idea that a choir filled predominately with self-identified les-

PHOTO | NIK GALLICCHIO

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PHOTO | DAVID SOLANA

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bians could survive and flourish in central Illinois.

On the map Oct. 30

By Drew Frist | staff writer Urban centers like New York City, Chicago and Los Angeles have long been regarded as America’s arts capitals, touting vibrant art scenes and a ubiquitous “it-factor.” Is Champaign and Urbana’s arts community struggling to keep up with their urban counterparts?

No, says Patrick Harness, a C-U artist.

“I have lived in the United States and outside the country. I think the quality of life is more like that of a big city, but the community is small enough—and it only takes you seven minutes to get to work,” says Harness. “I chose to live here.”

Harness and other locals agree that the C-U arts scene is not the budding community of Sunday painters and the coffeehouse musicians it is popularly presumed to be. C-U is a growing and legitimate cultural force.

Ten months ago Greg Wolf, owner of the Zoo Theater Company and Actor’s Academy at the Virginia Theater and a New York transplant, was traveling from New York City to Illinois for a visit when he was introduced to C-U’s cultural and artistic scene.

“When I hit Champaign-Urbana I was very surprised and encouraged by the level of culture, the level of creativity and artistic potential,” says Wolf. “The longer I stayed here the more that I didn’t want to go anywhere else.”

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Although the old house is only five blocks away from the new house in Philo’s upscale Willow Run subdivision, everything needed to be loaded, transported and unloaded. Adam and Randy finished lunch and got started, moving mountains of boxes and furniture before the real move-in festivities began around 5:30, when a stream of family and friends came to help. As Adam’s friend Chris Brown joined in unloading furniture from the trailer, Adam cranked up the Poison CD mix on the garage stereo. Chris and Adam carried a wooden buffet table into the basement while Randy followed.

“This is the debatable issue—whether this should go here or not,” Adam said.

“I didn’t know you had to have the house all planned out before you moved in,” Chris said sarcastically.

“Well, he does,” Randy said.

Adam and Katy had much of the house planned out before they moved in, spending hundreds of hours meeting with the custom builder and hundreds more visiting the house daily, watching its progression and measuring wall spaces to figure out which furniture could go where. And those hours don’t even begin to compare to the hours Adam and Katy spent lying awake in bed at night, unable to sleep because their minds were racing about which cabinet color would create the most amount of warmth during mealtime, which family room layout would allow the most space for entertaining or which brick color would be most inviting to others. And which location would be best for the buffet table that will hold games and cards for the family to play.

The guys set it against a basement wall for safekeeping and decided to take a break and hang out in the new basement. Adam cracked open a Miller Lite, grabbed a Budweiser for Randy, and sat back in the wooden chair and table set that was the kitchen set at the old house.

“So you can put the Donkey Kong machine right here,” Chris said as he sectioned out an area of the wall with his hands.

“No, that’s where the jukebox will go,” Adam said.

Adam can imagine it: The Heineken beer sign glowing behind the bar while he serves his friends their drinks of choice, the jukebox blaring sounds of the ‘80s, friends relaxing on the couch while watching football on the big-screen TV. As the guys headed upstairs to get back to work, Katy pulled into the drive-

DECEMBER 18-DECEMBER 23, 2003

way in the minivan. “This is going to look so parents were divorced; she can’t remember the different to you now because there’s stuff in it,” time when they were together.

She knows that maybe unconsciously she she told Ashlyn as they entered the house. She took her to her room and showed her all the married Adam and built this house to give things Daddy had moved in that day. Ashlyn a childhood where both parents live in Meanwhile, Adam gave “the tour” to Katy’s one place, to make up for the lack of that in her sister’s husband, Frank Marquart, who had childhood. Just like Adam knows that some come to help. Frank hadn’t seen the house since part of him wanted to build this house to give Ashlyn a stable place where she wouldn’t have it was just a hole in the ground.

“If you don’t like yellow, well, you probably to move around four times before age 5, as just shouldn’t come in,” Adam said. T h e y Adam did. Moving around so much made it were going for what he calls the “Big Bird, hard for Adam to feel comfortable in each SpongeBob look.” Actually, Katy chose the home, and it made “familiarity” mean the “humble gold” paint throughout the house opposite of “home.” He and Katy hope to because it’s “cheery,” the way a home should change that. They know this house isn’t the answer to all their be. And that’s the childhood inadequaway Katy is—always cies, but they will be making sure everyhappy as long as this one is happy. When home is a place of her dad was murfamiliarity. A place dered by his second where Ashlyn can wife last year, she did always count on seewith the inheritance ing Mommy after what she thought Katy Yeazel school, where Adam would make him the can walk around in most happy: She crethe dark without stubated a college fund bing his toe, or where for Ashlyn and a still unconceived child, and built this house, a place Katy can walk from the bedroom to the laundry where new memories would be made and fam- room in her underwear to get fresh clothes for the day. ily traditions would live on.

After Frank got the house tour and the guys Her dad’s memory would live on, too. One of the first things Adam and Randy carried in was moved the coffee table and end tables into the the glass-encased wooden cabinet in which her basement, Adam’s dad, Gene, came over with dad kept antique medicine bottles and veteri- pizza. The second Ashlyn heard Grampy’s nary instruments—one of his many collections. voice, she dropped her toy and ran toward him, It stands in the guestroom and will hold items clapping her hands. Everyone sat at the new Katy kept after he died—his veterinarian lab kitchen table, where Katy fed Ashlyn and the coat and stethoscope, two of his 127 animal- guys talked about how late they wanted to stay print ties and binoculars he brought on his up and move. Adam contemplated moving the big-screen TV tonight while Randy, Chris and many safaris.

Katy’s dad had been collecting these things Frank were there to help. Tomorrow it will just for as long as she can remember, even though be Adam, Katy and Adam’s younger brother, she only saw him a couple of weeks a year Luke.

“I wouldn’t work too late, son, I really because her parents divorced when she was 5.

In her mind, it seems like a lot more days. What wouldn’t,” Gene told his boy.

“Dad,” Adam said in a calming tone, remindshe remembers of visits to her dad’s house in nearby St. Joseph has stuck in her mind vivid- ing his father not to be too bossy.

Adam understands that trait, though. He ly—how he was overjoyed when he received yet another animal-print tie as a gift and how they’d always make animal-shaped buttermilk pancakes together. It never bothered Katy much that her

[

This really feels like home to me because of the cornfields.

[

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picked it up from her father, along with his dad’s waving arm gestures and his habit of often repeating people’s names when talking to them. In many ways, Adam’s dad is his best friend. He remembers playing catch with him in the yard of their Sidney home, where Adam had what he calls a Leave It To Beaver childhood. Adam would come home from school and play outside until Mom called him inside for dinner, where Adam would refuse to eat vegetables.

When Adam finished eating his pizza dinner, he stood up, blew out his cheeks and exhaled while rubbing his belly. He opened the door to the garage to hear that the music had moved on to AC/DC’s pounding “You Shook Me All Night Long.” Dad’s warning aside, the guys were pumped to work late. At 11 o’clock, the guys finally called it a night.

Adam, Katy and Ashlyn went home to sleep one more night at the old house. They were too focused on the new house to think about all the memories they had at the old house. Yet, Katy fell in love with it the minute she walked in five years ago and saw the arched doorways that reminded her of her great grandma’s house.

The arches are so quaint and charming that Adam and Katy decided to put them in the new house. They fell in love with the large backyard, where they had family parties. In their new house, they will again have a large backyard— this time with two patios and a cornfield that stretches as far as the eye can see. These cornfields remind Katy of the fields surrounding her childhood home in Tolono, where she and her sister Missy would play with the dog day in and day out. When she and Adam came to visit the new house in its beginning stages, she stood in the backyard, looked out and said to Adam, “This really feels like home to me because of the cornfields.”

Other things about the new house will remind Katy of her childhood as well. The sound of the trains roaring on the tracks about a half mile north of the new house bring her the same comfort she felt when she was little and became accustomed to the sound of the train roaring past while watching TV or doing homework. The fireplace in the family room will evoke memories of her childhood Christmas Eves, when they would turn off all the lights except for the Christmas tree and, with the fireplace blazing, watch A Christmas Carol.

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Sororities/Fraternities. If you are looking for a foam party give us a call at Main Event Entertainment.

217-276-0618.

Apartments

400

CAMPUS APARTMENTS Furnished | Unfurnished

Exact Extraction. Carpet & upholstery cleaning. Free estimates. 6883101.

LAWN CARE

400

AUTOMOBILES

CLEANING

SPORTING GOODS

SUBLETS CLASSES Spacious one bedroom unfurnished hardwood floors $475 negotiable.

356-0809

Other Rentals 500

907 S. Second, C. Nice studio in older brick building.

Great location between Daniel and Chalmers. Parking available. NO PETS. $350 includes some utilities.

359-5115

HOUSES LAKE DEVONSHIRE 3 bedroom, 1.5 bath, 2.5 garage, fireplace, large fenced yard, $1150. 356-0053.

Would you like to take a scrapbook class in the comfort of your own home? Are you interested in scrapbooking but don’t know where to start? Give me a call!

Dawn Longfellow Scrap In A Snap Independent Consultant #21121 352-3451 or email: dawnlongfellow@yahoo.com

ROOMS

Announcements800

Furnished one bedrooms and efficiencies from $325 near John and Second or Healey and Third. 3561407

Efficiency rooms on campus $250-$310, all utilities paid. 3676626

MUSICIANS NEEDED | AVAILABLE

JOHN SMITH PROPERTY MANAGEMENT www.johnsmithproperties.com (217)384-6930 “believe the hype”

Housemates wanted for beautiful Savoy house 11 month lease, from $275-325 plus utilities. email partnow@uiuc.edu or call 907-3509298.

Experienced drummer needed for Champaign punk/rock band. Call 356-3622 or email goodbyeboxer@hotmail.com. Must be willing to leave town and record in Jan. and tour in May - June.

LaJolla bag and woods, TourEdge clubs, $350. 344-1365.

FOR SALE Danby minifridge, $80. 344-1365.

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odds & end

I WISH MY HOROSCOPE WAS BETTER THIS WEEK... | NOVEMBER 26-DECEMBER 3, 2003

buzz

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY ARIES (March 21-April 19): Happy Holy Daze, Aries! I've been meditating on the perfect holiday gift for you. What symbolic item might inspire you to take maximum advantage of the cosmic currents in 2004? I decided on the book Marathon Training For Dummies, by Tere Stouffer Drenth. It's not because I think you should literally gear up to run a 26-mile race during the coming year. Rather, I'd like to get you in a frame of mind in which you're always prepping yourself for lengthy projects that will require stamina, resourcefulness, and strategic thinking.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): The love song is an endangered species. Lots of modern musicians do sex songs and pain songs and rage songs, but few are inclined to craft tunes in which they declare their passionate affection and describe it in all its nuanced uniqueness. As a result, Taurus, you will most likely be out of sync with the tenor of the times in 2004.Your heart will be stirred as it hasn't been in many moons. Even if you're not a professional vocalist, you may often feel longings to express your lush emotions in song. If I were going to get you a holiday gift, it would be a compilation CD filled with the greatest love songs of the last sixty years.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Happy Holy Daze, Gemini! I predict that you'll dive deeper in 2004. You will cheerily plunge in over your head as you pursue the noble goal of getting to the bottom of things. Exploring murky waters shouldn't faze you because you'll have a sixth sense that's equivalent to being able to see in the dark. In looking around for a holiday gift you could give yourself to encourage these extraordinary predilections, I came across a yellow submarine for sale on the Internet. Amazingly, it's named the "Gemini." For more info, see www.subeo.com/inside.htm.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): You think you know what chocolate is all about? You don't. The tastes you find in M&M's and Hershey's Kisses comprise a tiny percentage of chocolate's total flavor spectrum. A few vanguard connoisseurs are beginning to awaken to the glorious diversity. New York now boasts several gourmet boutiques that offer the kind of variety characteristic of wine and coffee specialty stores. If I could get you a holiday gift, Cancerian, it would be a sampling of these exotic chocolates.

Maybe if you realized what you've been missing in this one area, you'd also get more aggressive about pursuing a wider array of other fine pleasures in 2004. And that would be in alignment with the astrological omens.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Happy Holy Daze, Leo! I've been meditating on the perfect holiday gift for you. What would best get you ready for 2004? What symbolic offering might motivate you to take maximum advantage of the astrological opportunities ahead? And the answer is: dirt; to be exact, one cup of good, rich

soil from each of the seven places in the world where you feel most at home. With these containers of sacred ground displayed on your altar, you might be inspired to come way down to earth: to be more practical, detail-oriented, skilled at compromise, and hard-working than you've ever been.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Happy Holy Daze, Virgo! I've been meditating on the perfect holiday gift for you. What symbolic offering might inspire you to be in closest alignment with the cosmic currents in 2004? I decided on a framed photo of a Great White Shark, which is the only sea creature that has no natural enemies. I expect that you will likewise have few adversaries and obstacles in the coming months. The Great White is also at the top of the food chain, and while you may not ascend all the way to the pinnacle of your local hierarchy, you should definitely climb higher.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Happy Holy Daze, Libra! I've been meditating on the perfect holiday gift for you. What symbolic item might help you take maximum advantage of the cosmic currents in 2004? Here's what I came up with: the film, "Destino," a collaboration between surrealist painter Salvador Dali and Walt Disney's team of animators.Though the joint artistic effort began soon after Disney and Dali met in 1945, it wasn't completed until recently. In that sense alone it should be inspiring, because you, too, will be striving to revive an old dream in the coming months. Your near future will resemble a Disney-Dali creation in another way: There'll be a convergence of what's weird and what's popular, what's extraordinary and normal, what's adventurous and cute.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): The coming year will be a favorable time to double your commitment to rowdy fun. I encourage you to attend more parties than usual and always be on the lookout for how you can energize social occasions with acts of joyous abandon. You'll also be wise to infuse even your intimate encounters with boisterous amusements. Therefore, Scorpio, please consider doing more handstands on barstools in 2004.Try dancing on tabletops with only some of your clothes on, slurping right out of punch bowls, starting food fights, and knocking over lamps while spontaneously making love. If I were going to get you a symbolic holiday gift this year, it might be a chandelier, conveying to you my hope that you will bring back the lost art of swinging on chandeliers.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Happy Holy Daze, Sagittarius!

I've been meditating on the perfect holiday gift for you. What would best get you ready for 2004? What might help you take maximum advantage of the astrological opportunities ahead?

And the answer is: a $20-million, 30-second ad about you and your services, to be broadcast on TV during the Super Bowl next

February. You need a splashy marketing gambit like that to get the word out. It is high time for you to shine in the spotlight at center stage.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Happy Holy Daze, Capricorn! I've been meditating on the perfect holiday gifts for you. What symbolic items might inspire you to take maximum advantage of the cosmic currents in 2004? I've decided on three things: 1. binoculars, which I hope will encourage you to constantly seek closer looks at distant sights; 2. mountain-climbing equipment, which I hope will encourage you to spend more time outside, get naturally high, and look at the world from lofty perspectives; 3. lightweight, quick-drying, anti-bacterial underwear designed to be washed every night as you travel. I hope they'll encourage you to leave behind heavy baggage and complicated expectations as you make frequent forays out of your comfort zone.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Your holiday celebrations wouldn't be much fun if there were no such thing as fungi. One member of the fungus family, yeast, is essential to brewing alcoholic beverages, baking pastries, and turning cocoa beans into chocolate.

Another type of fungus is crucial to the growth of most Christmas trees. They grow well only because of the symbiotic relationship between their roots and certain mushrooms.

Wrapping paper would of course also be scarce without the mushrooms' assistance. Now that you've heard these facts, Aquarius, I hope you'll decide to make the fungus your good luck charm in 2004. It will remind you to hold in high esteem the hidden forces and unsung people that will be constantly working behind the scenes in your behalf. This will be the Year of Secret Helpers. (Thanks to Tom Volk's "Fungus of the Month" website at http://botit.botany.wisc.edu/toms_fungi/fotm.html.)

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Happy Holy Daze, Pisces! I've been meditating on the perfect holiday gift for you. What would best get you ready for 2004? What might motivate you to take maximum advantage of the astrological opportunities ahead? I've decided to give you a small, circumscribed part of the Pacific Ocean. It's a cubic mile located between longitude 110 and 111 degrees west and between latitude 10 and 11 degrees south. I'm hoping that this manageable, well-defined section of the primal sea will inspire you to create better boundaries as you deal with your own oceanic emotions; to be more judiciously dramatic and less overflowingly melodramatic.

HOMEWORK: Rob Brezsny's Free Will Astrology beautyandtruth Forget what Time magazine @ f r e e w i l l a s t r o l o g y. c o m thinks. Who is your 415.459.7209(v)• 415.457.3769 "Person of the Year?" http://www.freewillastrology. www.freewillastrology.com. com P.O. Box 798 San Anselmo, CA 94979

✍

☎

CROSSWORD PUZZLE ACROSS 1 Rather good at

reporting 4 “Moses” author 8 One given to gushing 14 “Turn to Stone” grp.

15 Dynasty of Confucius 16 Rabbit ears, e.g.

17 College entrance consideration 19 Still in the original package 20 Gets ready beforehand, in a way 21 Like Satan worshipers 22 Lends 23 Past tense?

24 One that gives you an eyeful?

26 Corporeal cord 27 Drain feature 28 Like many churches

43 Enter quietly 45 Turn (to) 46 Taking off 47 Source of

some scars

48 Hierarchs 49 Famous Cremona

8 Tell a thing or

two

9 They may be

brought to a business meeting

1

56 Even

31

18 Goose-pimply

42

25 They’re baited

45

31 Rush in a

DOWN 1 Regardless of 2 Not at all calm 3 Need for taking 9-

Down

31 Storied home wrecker

5 Skyrocket

38 Shout to the team

6 Feature of some roller

coasters

15

movie theater

32 Professional

light bulb producers?

33 Suppressing

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Family transforms house into home

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BY ANGELA FORNELLI | CONTRIBUTING WRITER

N

after her bath. They could see their family gathered around the dining table for Christmas dinner. They could see a second child sleeping in the spare room down the hall from Ashlyn’s.

Surely, they thought, by the time all their things were moved in, it would feel like home. It turns out, these things come with time.

Adam gets out of the tub as Katy finishes brushing her teeth. They put on the same old pajamas they’ve worn for years and sink into the same bed they’ve always slept in, Katy on the left and Adam on the right. Adam wasn’t sure if he’d sleep well tonight because he has trouble sleeping when he goes away on golfing tournaments with his buddies. But Katy reassured him, “I’ll be there, you’ll be fine.”

Ashlyn, on the other hand, doesn’t have the comfort of Momma and Dadda right in the room next door anymore. Their room is now a whole family room and kitchen’s length away on the other side of the 2,468-square-foot ranch house. Her screaming cries wake Katy and Adam three times during the night—at 9:30, 11:30 and 3:30. She hasn’t awoke that many times in one night in months.

In the morning, Katy doesn’t press the snooze button as she usually does before getting ready to teach her kindergartners. She knows it will take longer to get ready because she will have to figure out how the fancy walkin shower works and locate the outlets for her hairdryer. She styles her chin-length, brown hair in her new vanity mirror and doesn’t remember that it is her 31st birthday until Adam wakes up and says, “Happy birthday.”

Now she remembers that her birthday wish— waking up in her dream house on her birthday—has been granted, even though she has

obody is sleeping in the old house at 206 Van Buren tonight. It is empty now. The bed that once squeezed tightly into Katy and Adam’s bedroom seems tiny in their new master bedroom. The bathtub Adam usually takes a bath in before bed has turned into a whirlpool tub tonight. He soaks while Katy unpacks her makeup into her vanity drawer under the bathroom counter.

“It feels like we’re in a nice hotel,” Adam remembers telling Katy.

But this hotel is different. It holds the pink plaster heart Katy made for Adam’s first Father’s Day in 2002. The one with baby Ashlyn’s footprint and the words “Daddy’s turkey bird” painted in yellow. It holds the handmade wedding vase that says “Katy and Adam Yeazel, July 25, 1998.” The one that Adam empties his change into every day after work to put into 21-month-old Ashlyn’s savings fund.

Adam and Katy didn’t expect to feel so strange on the first night in their new house.

After all, they know this house inside and out, down to the number of electrical outlets and the brand of vinyl on the kitchen floor. They have visited the house every day since the groundbreaking eight months ago, watching it grow piece by piece into the house they imagined in their dreams. It felt to them very much like it felt when they were waiting for Ashlyn to be born. The more they could see her growing, the more and more she felt real, and the more she felt like their own.

Back then, they could picture it. Standing on the concrete floors between the two-by-four framing of the family room, they could see Ashlyn running in circles during “naked time”

VinnieHernandez

Vinnie Hernandez has been an assistant manager at Strawberry Fields since this summer. A former University of Illinois student, the 24year-old started working at the organic food store three years ago.

29

36

37 43

38

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What do you love most about C-U? It’s a town where you get trapped in. But at the same time, you kind of like it. Things are happening. Yet, it’s pretty small. It’s kind of intimate still.

44 46

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If you could change C-U in one way, what would it be?

They need to add a monorail.

Puzzle by Sherry O. Blackard

opposition brutally

34 Eradicated,

with “out”

35 Hop offerer 36 Has trouble standing

37 Architecture, e.g.

38 Skilled moneymaker 39 Whole 40 Certain marble

3

Katy Yeazel puts away glassware in her family's new house in Philo. been so caught up in moving that she had forgotten.

So Katy could get her wish and so the house could be ready for Adam’s 30th birthday party in a few weeks, Adam took the week off work as a vice president at CentrueBank and began moving things with his friend, Randy Harshbarger, two days ago. It was a long day, starting with lunch and beer at the Philo Tavern, a local haunt where Adam, Katy and their friends and families have gone many times in their years living in nearby small towns. Adam grew up in Sidney, where his

grandparents lived two doors down, and Katy grew up in the neighboring town of Tolono. The two knew one another even back in junior high.

Adam “liked” Katy in eighth grade but Katy didn’t know it. It wasn’t until they were out of college for a few years that they went on a date.

Nineteen months later, they were married. They decided to buy their first house in Philo, and also to build the new house there, because it’s a halfway point between their parents’ homes and their jobs. This way, grandpa and grandma can stop by for pizza and visit Ashlyn whenever they want.

making life a little less boring and much more fun.

talk to people. We are not just here to try and sell you a product.

What is the history behind Strawberry Fields?

Strawberry Fields started out as a natural food co-op in the 1960s. It has evolved into a familyowned business. It is kind of like a natural grocery store as opposed (to) the more conventional store.

What is the best part of your job?

It’s dealing with lots of different people. I love working with different people from all over the area. It’s fun to see people excited about the same things I am excited about. It’s a job where I can focus on some of the issues I believe in.

How did you get involved with Strawberry Fields?

A friend of mine recommended (me) for a job at the cafe, and I started serving coffee there.

Then, I became cafe manager. Right before I was set to leave Champaign-Urbana, they offered me the assistant manager job.

What is in store for the future of Strawberry Fields?

We are trying different products and changing the way the store looks. We show them a different look than the mass-produced stuff you will find on Prospect Avenue.

Q & A

26

25

in Masses

29 Tough request

8

community

DECEMBER 18-DECEMBER 23, 2003

30

13 Pittance

in rings

7

23

12 “Have mercy”

55 Disposal items

6

22

51 Religious exhortation

54 Current entry points

5

21

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53 Coastline feature

4

20

11 Taqueria order

52 Some injections

3

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50 Water, in other words

family

2

14

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4 Proper relationship

___ Coast

gundy, e.g.

10 Ritzy

30 Years

42 Antarctica’s

7 Rose and bur-

buzz

PHOTO | ADAM YOUNG

12/17/03

41 Uncomfortable posi-

tion

44 Las ___ 48 Step, in

Seville

PHOTO | CHRISTINE LITAS

121803buzz0318

What is your favorite food?

It is the steak tacos at a little Mexican store on First Street, El Charro.

What are some of your other interests?

Most of my other interests are in politics and hanging out with my friends. I sometimes throw dinner parties and the like. I like

What attracts customers to Strawberry Fields?

I think it’s the helpfulness of the staff and the good attitude amongst us. We are much more down-to-earth and ready to help. We like to

What is the best piece of advice you have been given?

‘As above, so below.’ It basically means that whatever we believe in as an ideal, we should try in the world we live now.

12/17/03

2:36 PM

Page 1

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ARE WE THERE YET? | DECEMBER 18-DECEMBER 23, 2003 buzz

insidebuzz 3 5 8

COMMUNIT Y

Q&A with a Strawberry Fields manager ARTS

Pottery verbalizes Krannert MUSIC

What ticked off buzz in Music this year

10

CALENDAR

14

FILM

See all there is to do in C-U Get Stuck on this film

Volume 1, Number 44 COVER DESIGN | Meaghan Dee

editor’snote

W

ith Saddam Hussein’s capture Saturday night, the United States rid itself of its top enemy, or at least that’s what the headlines read on many newspapers.

President George W. Bush appeared triumphant again, making a similar speech to the one he gave in May when he declared the end of all major combat. I thought the Iraqi people were safe last May, but I guess that declaration came prematurely.

Anyway, Saddam appeared in rare form on the Sunday morning news shows. Doctors searched him for fleas as he turned his head from side to side. At that moment, he looked like a harmless slob and not the scary dictator the Republicans built him up to be. Was this the man that could have decimated America with his weapons of mass destruction? Could it be the man that wanted to bring the apocalypse upon us? He certainly did not look that way Sunday.

When American forces discovered him, Saddam surrendered to the troops without a fight. Why did he not come out with guns blazing? Where were his chemical or biological weapons to attack the coalition troops with? Well, I guess he must have stockpiled them somewhere else.

As America celebrates the capture of this vile man, one question remains: Where is America’s real number one enemy? “Oh, where, oh where can little Osama bin Laden be?” should be the question on the American

public’s mind. Actually, it should have been on Americans’ minds for the past year and a half before we invaded Iraq. We should have questioned our president and politicians as to why we were invading another country when the war in Afghanistan had not concluded. In my mind, he is public enemy number one. His soldiers invaded our land and attacked some of our more sacred structures, claiming thousands of American lives.

How many American lives had Saddam taken? It is not nearly as many as Osama bin Laden and Al Qaeda.

When I think of Osama bin Laden, absolute hate and anger spring from inside me. When I think of Saddam, I get a bad taste in my mouth.

Maybe I am wrong, but I have a feeling most Americans feel the same.

I will give Bush this: He rid the world of a terrible dictator. This man needed to be gone more than 10 years ago. But his father, Papa Bush, surrendered to the pressure of his time and pulled our troops out. I know the situation was more complicated at the time, but he still should have captured Saddam.

Now, Bush Jr. decided to right his father’s mistake. He will never say that. Instead, he used the rhetoric of fear to scare people into supporting this war with Iraq. He told us they had weapons of mass destruction, which we have not found. He told us there were connections between Iraq and Osama bin Laden, which we have not found.

So before everyone starts praising Saddam’s capture, let us remember we got into this war for the wrong reasons. What those real reasons were, we may never know.

—TR

BUZZ STAFF Editor in chief Tom Rybarczyk Art Director Meaghan Dee Copy Chief Erin Green Arts Katie Richardson Music Brian Mertz Entertainment Jason Cantone Calendar Marissa Monson Assistant Music Editor Jacob Dittmer Calendar Coordinators Lauren Smith, Cassie Conner, Erin Scottberg Photography Adam Young, Christine Litas, Nik Gallicchio Copy Editors Elizabeth Zeman, Jen Hubert Designers Meaghan Dee, Jason Cantone, Marissa Monson, Carol Mudra, Adam Obendorf, Amy Hanlon Production Manager Theon Smith Editorial Adviser Elliot Kolkovich Sales Manager Lindsey Benton Marketing/Distribution Melissa Schleicher, Maria Erickson Publisher Mary Cory All editorial questions or letters to the editor should be sent to buzz@readbuzz.com or 337-8137 or buzz, 57 E. Green St., Champaign, Ill., 61820.

Buzz magazine is a student-run publication of Illini Media Company and does not necessarily represent,in whole or in part, the views of the University of Illinois administration, faculty or students.

AND ANOTHER THING...

Got an opinion?

Every hero needs his villain, even if it’s Saddam Hussein

BY MICHAEL COULTER | CONTRIBUTING WRITER

E-mail us at buzz@readbuzz.com or you can send us a letter at 57 E. Green St. Champaign, IL 61820.

We reserve the right to reject submissions.

Tommy G’s Bar and Grill

featuring food by Foudini’s

Fri., December 19 FREE FOOD FRIDAYS! Billy Galt and Ed O’Hara live - free food, no cover! 5-7 PM

E.S.P.

All things rock. www.esprocks.com

Sat., December 20

Aces Wild

A little bit of everything from these area music veterans... Buy your NYE 2004 tix for Renegade today at Tommy G’s!

FREE MUSIC no cover weekdays!

Every Tuesday Adam wolf’s Acoustic Night Plus $2 Tuesdays - two dollar drafts,cans, dom. Bottles, well drinks, order of wings, basket-o-spuds, chips-n-salsa.

Every Wednesday Kilborn Alley Thursdays - Pool Tourney, Cash Prizes, 7 PM Coming in December

26 - The Barflyz (80’s rock), 31 - Renegade 123 S. Mattis, Champaign - Counrty Fair Mall, 359-2177

www.tommygs.com

19

buzz DECEMBER 11-DECEMBER 17 , 2003 | I WANT TO BE A VILLAIN

I

used to read a ton of comic books when I was a kid. I think it was all part of my plan to avoid having to kiss a girl until high school. But either way, I enjoyed them. I rooted for the hero, but I gotta say, the real fun was in the villains. I wouldn’t have cared as much about comic books if Batman or Spiderman were apprehending a simple burglar or someone committing mail fraud every month.

Nope, the beauty of it was that the villains were not only colorful but also out to destroy the world. Every hero needs a villain.

Even though he’s not much of a hero, George Bush lost his villain on Sunday when our forces finally caught up with Saddam Hussein, and I bet our president misses him already. If this were a comic book, it wouldn’t be a very good one. I can’t remember Superman ever saving the world from Lex Luthor and then pulling his body out of a hole in some shed and checking him for fleas. Let’s face it, it couldn’t have been the ending Bush was looking for.

The ideal ending probably would have been our troops crashing through the palace doors, freeing some prisoners and then beginning a shootout with Saddam, guns blazing in all directions. When it appeared all hope was lost, George Bush would crash through the window and finally finish Saddam off once and for all. The last panel would be George dragging the dictator out of the palace by his beard and turning him over to the proper authorities, sweat and blood dripping from our president’s face just like Bruce Willis in Die Hard.

OK, sure, that ending wasn’t going to happen. George Bush might be the commander in chief but he’s not much of an actual soldier.

Besides, to have that ending, Bush would have to actually be in Iraq, and he would have to be there for something other than a surprise meal.

It’s hard to be considered the hero when other people are doing all the fighting for you.

Saddam had been on the run since April though, and I’m sure the troops didn’t really care how he was brought in. It’s a good thing they got him when they did. They found him with two AK-47’s, a pistol, and a white and orange taxicab. It sounds to me like he was planning to start his own gypsy cab company right here in the states. He could have flown under the radar for years if that would have

happened. Try to find a cab in Chicago without a bearded, armed, foreign man driving it.

He’s caught, and for all the smart-ass little comments I make about it, I have to say it’s nice to have him out of the way. He’s still causing problems though. A senior U.S. official said Saddam “was a wise-ass” and was answering questions with patriotic rhetoric. That’s gotta hurt Saddam’s ego. Less than a year ago, he was being called the most dangerous dictator in the world, ready to destroy us with weapons of mass destruction. Now he’s been reduced to “a wise-ass” just hours after his capture.

Even though they say he will continue to be questioned, officials doubt they’ll get any significant intelligence from him. That seems about right. I bet if the Iraqis captured our president they wouldn’t encounter much significant intelligence either.

That’s what it comes down to really, a couple of idiots that started a big fight that neither one of them actually fought in. We lost troops; they lost troops. I suppose the Iraqis are better off for the time being, but even that remains to be seen. No weapons of mass destruction have turned up, so I have to ask what this war was really for. I guess it worked out for Halliburton and all the other companies that are going to make a truckload of money rebuilding Iraq, but, besides that, it seems like a big letdown and a big waste. All that’s left now is the trial.

Apparently, the Iraqis will decide Saddam’s fate in a court of law. We better milk the last days of our archnemesis for all they’re worth.

Bring him to court in a straitjacket and one of those Hannibal Lecter masks. Let Bush give the closing arguments like he’s Sam Watterson in an episode of Law & Order. After that they can hang his ass on national TV. He deserves it, after all. Then we can wrap up this chapter of history ... and our president can start looking for another villain.

He needs one, after all, maybe a couple of them. He’s going to be running for re-election very soon and his best chance of winning is if he finds another villain and fast. If Americans are fearful, they’ll vote for him again. If he can’t find a villain soon, he may have to turn his attention to health care or the economy, and there’s not as much glamour in something like that. Solving those problems would probably take actual work, something our president has never done a day of in his life. buz z

Michael Coulter is a videographer at Parkland College. He writes a weekly e-mail column, “This Sporting Life” and has hosted several local comedy shows.

Family continued from page 4 It will remind her of the Christmas mornings when she and Missy would wake up at 5 a.m. and organize presents into piles, and of how her mom always had a knack for picking out a Christmas gift that Katy never would ask for but always ended up loving—like hot rollers.

Katy wants Ashlyn to know these things. She hopes Ashlyn will stay near Philo when she grows up, just like she and Adam did. She wants to be able to visit her grandchildren whenever she wants, just like her parents get to visit Ashlyn whenever they want. She wants Ashlyn to have a sister or brother to play with in the cornfields, just like Katy had Missy, and she wants to have the special knack her mom had when getting Ashlyn Christmas presents, just like her mom had.

But none of this was on their minds that night. They just wanted to rest up to finish moving tomorrow. They awoke about 6 and got started at the new house. While Adam, Luke, Dad and Randy lugged in the washer and dryer, Katy hung the light green towels and the puppy-dog and kitty-cat shower curtain in Ashlyn’s bathroom.

“Ooh, those are cute!” said Adam’s mom, Susan, who had stopped by.

“Yeah, it’s not too girly, in case we have a boy next time,” Katy said.

She finished the bathroom and moved on to the boxes stacked in the kitchen, where she unloaded the pots and pans. By then the beige leather couches had been placed in the family room, and all the furniture had been set up in Ashlyn’s bedroom and the guest room. All that was left for Katy to do was unpack the boxes piled in the kitchen and master bedroom.

When the work slowed down, Randy and Adam’s parents headed home, and Luke sat with Ashlyn, who was peacefully watching Fantasia. In the midst of the sudden peace and quiet, Adam stopped setting up the bar in the basement and came upstairs, where he grabbed Katy by her hips, turned her away from her unpacking and held her in his arms.

“I love you,” he said, leaning down to kiss her.

In an hour, the house got busy again. Gene came over to help Adam and Luke set up the dryer in the laundry room, while Katy unpacked items and put them in the pantry.

Ashlyn started wandering around the house speaking gibberish.

“She’s just talkative today,” Gene said.

“Mota Mouth,” Katy said.

“Momma,” Ashlyn said.

“Yes,” Katy replied absently as she worked.

“Momma,” Ashlyn repeated.

“Yes.” “Momma.”

“Yes.” Grandpa Gene knew what was going on.

Ashlyn was fussy tonight because she was confused about where she was, and she wasn’t getting the attention she’s used to. “I want to see your room,” he said to Ashlyn, leading her into her bedroom. “Oh, this is Ashy’s room. I see all her furniture.” Ashlyn pointed to her lamp on

PHOTO | ADAM YOUNG

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Katy moved into the house in October with her husband, Adam, and their 21-month-old baby, Ashlyn. her dresser. “Look, and there’s Ashy’s bed she always sleeps in, the bear that always sleeps under Ashy’s bed. Everything is just the way Ashy likes it. This is your room.”

She may not have felt comfortable in her room, but she got accustomed to the bathtub just fine that night during her first bath in the new house. She even got to enjoy her first “naked time,” running around in circles in the living room until Katy caught her and put on her diaper. From her bath to Adam’s whirlpool later, they were all getting used to the new house. And despite Grandpa’s efforts, Ashlyn just didn’t sleep well that first night. It just didn’t feel normal.

And the next night, on Katy’s birthday, it won’t feel normal for her to turn off Route 130 on to Jefferson instead of Van Buren on her way home from work. It won’t feel normal to eat takeout from the Philo Tavern for dinner instead of cooking their winter-specialty chili or beef stew. Yet Ashlyn will sit in her adjustable highchair—the one that “will grow with her”— and Katy and Adam will talk about their days as they always do. Katy will scrape the dishes and Adam will take out the garbage and start the fire. Katy will put on Mr. Wiggles for Ashlyn and change into her pajamas to be “comfy;” after all it will just be her mom and stepdad and Adam’s parents visiting for her birthday. They will be the first guests to walk in the front door that opens into the family room, where Katy will open her gifts in front of the blazing fireplace while Ashlyn jumps in the scraps of wrapping paper. Katy will tell the story about how Ashlyn finally said two words together the other day—while holding up a Ziploc bag, she said “open this” to Adam. They will talk of plans for Christmas at the new house, where Katy will finally get to repay her mom and Adam’s mom with holiday cooking duties, and of how Katy plans to put a nativity scene atop the large fireplace mantel. They will eat cake and sing “Happy Birthday” to Katy, and as Grampy says goodbye, he will hold Ashlyn and tell her as he did tonight: “You sleep all night long tonight, you sleep all night long.” buz z

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2:38 PM

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MUSIC

Editors pick their favorite 2003 albums (page 7) CALENDAR

Euphone create jazz, rock fusion (page 10) FILM

Top 10 films of 2003 (page 15)