Buzz Magazine: Dec. 11, 2008

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precious jewels overhyped? movie vs. movie

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buzz

dec 11 – dec 17 2008

volume 6 no. 49

Tin Anniversary Merry Market

CU Ballet performs The Nutcracker

18

Q: What’s a great reason to shop at the Illini Apple Center this holiday?

Explore the nuances of sexual harassment

19

A: Your Apple education discount.

And Another Thing ...

Calendar

4

Local artisians at Lincoln Square Mall

A Winter Classic Doin’ It Well

7

22

Best of ... Internet searches

14

Your guide to this week’s events

Save when you shop Apple on the U of I Campus.

Check out www.illiniapplecenter.com for weekly updates on price breaks and rebates.

University Appreciation Days are Dec. 11–12.

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Kate Lamy Isaac Bloom Stephanie Prather Mark Grabowski Matt Harlan Isaac Bloom Christina Chae Abby Toms Tanya Boonroueng Kate Lamy

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Tommy Trafton Keith Hollenkamp Drake Baer Suzanne Stern Bonnie Steirnberg Amanda Brenner Kerry Doyle Omair Ahmed Brandi Willis Mary Cory

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weekahead Complete calendar listings on pages 10-11

WHAT TO EXPECT ON

thursday 11

friday 12

saturday 13

Fall Semester Showdown

The Wiz

The Hood Internet

Night two of this local concert series at the Canopy Club kicks off at 9 p.m. and features Zmick and Underpaid Packy.

Tickets range from $5 to $7.

“Ease on down the road” to Champaign Central High School for the school’s production of The Wiz. The show begins at 7 p.m., and tickets are $5.

If you couldn’t get tickets to see Girl Talk last month, don’t miss another opportunity to check out a great mash-up group at the Canopy Club. The show begins at midnight, and tickets are $8 in advance.

the217.com Food: Look for the Weekly Feed and the Top 5 Holiday Drinks and where to get them on Monday

Art: Still need gift ideas? Get artsy, intellectual and maybe even sexual.

Movies: Review of The Day the Earth Stood Still on Saturday.

sunday 14

Music:

Amasong: Sounds of Home

Look for a review of the Decemberists’ latest release on the217.com Saturday.

Don’t miss Champaign-Urbana’s premier lesbian and feminist chorus performing their annual winter concert at the McKinley Presbyterian Church at 4 p.m.

LET IT OUT

monday 15

tuesday 16

“Passion and Intellect,” An Evening of Poetry

Works by Phyllis Rash Hughes Award-winning artist Phyllis Rash Hughes is best known for her pen-andink drawings, which often reflect her experiences as a dancer and musician.

Catch her work on display all day at Pages for All Ages.

Beginning at 7 p.m., hear the likes of Carmon Perciful and Michael LaDue recite poetry for free at La Gourmandise Bistro.

wednesday 17 Mpowerment Christmas Party Join the men of Mpowerment at C-Street at 10 p.m. for the “Wrap it Up for the Holidays” Christmas Party. There will be free food, prizes and entertainment.

E D I T O R ’ S N O T E by Stephanie Prather

www.the217.com

Bonnie Stiernberg Calendar Editor LIKES 1) Hot cocoa: Cliche? Yes. Delicious? You bet.

2) Being almost done: Surprisingly, I’m not too worried about finals this semester. I’m just ready to sit on my couch for a month.

3) Jack Frost: Michael Keaton dies in a horrible car crash and gets reincarnated as a snowman.

Hanson sings on the soundtrack. Really, what more could you want in a holiday movie?

Michell Eloy Food & Drink Editor GRIPES

Used with permission the artist

This week I went to Cowboy Monkey’s Open Mic Night featuring Mike Ingram, and it got me thinking about how lucky we are to have a constant supply of talented musicians dwelling in CU. As far as I can tell, open mic nights can be both tragic and inspiring, depending on how you look at things.

For many people it could be the start of something big, just a way to get the jitters out and get their name out there to hopefully start booking shows. For others, their music career will die at open mic night, and that’s ok. We’re not all meant to be rock stars.

Likes & Gripes

Personally, my music career died in high school band class. Sure, I rocked out on the flute for the seven years spanning between fifth grade and sophomore year of high school, but once I realized I was never going to be the next Jethro Tull and wasn’t good enough to play in college, I quit.

Maybe I should have stuck it out, but if I had I would have kept tooting my flute I would have never had time to work on my high school paper, the Urbana High School Echo, and thus might never have made it big at this fine publication.

Even though my music-playing days are over, it excites me to experience the abundance of live music available in our cozy micro-urban com-

munity. If you’re not musically inclined, it’s likely you have the same sort of music-envy as I do, where you wish you could speak that freakish language which allows those who can to play a song that tells someone exactly how they’re feeling. The only language I speak can be adequately communicated in Microsoft Word, and for that I am sad.

Recently, I have been hearing that attendance at live shows in CU is down. This week, I urge to you get off your ass, bite the bullet, and pay that $5 cover to see someone perform. If you’re not sure who to go see, consult our calendar (pg. 14) or ask a friend. You’ll thank yourself for it, promise.

1) Slow Pizza Delivery: When I order pizza, it’s because I’m hungry now, not because I will be hungry in an hour and a half.

Let this be a hint to a certain pizza delivery place down the street from Illini Media.

2) Ice: Walking to class should not so hard that it could be considered an Olympic event.

3) Portable Distractions: I love my computer, but removing myself from my room/apartment/coffee house to do work does me absolutely no good if the thing that is actually distracting me is sitting right in front of me.

DEC 11 – DEC 17 08

food & drink A Merry Market Area artisans provide homemade gifts and treats

by Jenny Beightol ’Tis the season to spend money. Whether you’re browsing the Internet for hours or navigating through an overcrowded shopping center to purchase gifts, the holiday shopping process can be expensive and time consuming. It doesn’t matter if you’re searching for gifts for your best friend or the “hard-to-buy-for” on your list — holiday shopping is exhausting.

The Holiday Market at Lincoln Square Mall in Urbana helps alleviate this seasonal stress for CU residents. Handmade jewelry, ornaments and locally grown produce dominate the indoor market. The event takes place every Saturday from 8 a.m. to 1 p.m., and the last one will be held Dec. 20. Vendors sell their goods at tables throughout the entire mall.

“We take this place over,” said Susan Toalson, executive director at the Urbana Business Association. Toalson said there are 57 local merchants selling products made or grown in Illinois this year. She said everything is reasonably

dec 11 – dec 17 08

priced and shoppers may recognize some vendors from the summer Farmers Market.

Rick Morgan, owner of Great Harvest Bread Company, has been bringing his business to the Holiday Market for five years now. He and his wife, Lisa, own the bakery and offer a wide range of breads and baked goods.

“We have something to satisfy every customer, from the very healthiest all the way to sweeter treats,” Morgan said.

All of their baked goods are made from scratch and do not contain additives or preservatives. Apple pie bread with apple pie filling and white chocolate cherry bread are some of the most popular for the holiday season. Holiday gift baskets are also available. “We can offer any price range that is appropriate to the customer,” Morgan said.

According to Toalson, handmade products are much more prominent at the Holiday Market than at the Farmers Market. Tables displaying pottery, jewelry and paintings are surrounded with eager

and interested customers eyeing the merchandise.

Many vendors make their wares right out of their homes in the Champaign-Urbana area.

“This isn’t arts and crafts,” Toalson said. “These are artisans.”

Mary Kemmer said she is always coming up with a new craft to create and sell at the market.

This year, she has made decorative Christmas trees out of recycled CDs. She snaps the CDs into small pieces and applies them to a grout-covered Styrofoam cone. The trees have a mosaic quality and catch the light of whatever space they are in.

Kemmer said trees range from $6 to $12.

Unique gifts like Kemmer’s are not uncommon at the Holiday Market. Handblown glass beads and silkfiber wall hangings make gift-giving more personal.

“It’s really awesome,” Toalson said. “You can find that one-of-a-kind gift for that special person.”

The Cousins Dog Biscuit Company caters to a different special someone. They sell gourmet dog treats and dog accessories, such as fleece coats and

bandanas. Diane Cain, proprietor of the business, said that every treat is named after and taste-tested by her dogs. Their favorites? Auntie Di’s Snickerpoodles and Rascal’s Peanut Butter Biscuits.

With gift options ranging from dog biscuits to fine, handmade jewelry all under one roof, Toalson said that the market makes holiday shopping a convenient, one-stop occasion.

“You can come in, do your damage and be done,” she said.

She described the scene at the Holiday Market as very social. Children can meet Santa as the choir from Urbana High School sings holiday carols. She also suggested that students busy with finals should come to finish their shopping.

“It’s great to get something that’s handcrafted from the school you’re attending,” Toalson said.

The festive atmosphere and abundance of items at the Holiday Market make gift-giving affordable and fun, even for the most difficult, “hard-to-buyfor” on your shopping list.

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buzz

Spring Semester Abroad is on the Horizon What to do to prepare (if you haven’t already)

by Abby Wilson One of the greatest opportunities a student can take advantage of in college is studying abroad.

Many students during the upcoming spring semester will be packing up to study in a foreign land far away. A semester away means an experience of a lifetime, but how do you prepare to be thousands of miles away from home?

Whether you’re going to the U.K., South America or the Middle East, there are a few things that you can do before you leave to ensure a successful trip.

Before you think about traveling outside of the country, make sure your passport is up-to-date.

Next, check to see if your destination requires a visa or not. Sometimes it is smart to go ahead and obtain a visa just in case, especially if you plan on doing some extra traveling while you are abroad.

Once your passport and visa are taken care of, it would be wise to prepare a budget for your trip.

Many college students do not budget, especially when they’re in a new place and want to experience everything regardless of the cost. But nothing would be worse than finding your pocketbook all dried up with three months left abroad. The first thing you should do is to evaluate exactly how

much you’re willing to spend in addition to your program fees and tuition. Also, double check how much the dollar is worth in your country’s currency — this could play a big role in how much you want to spend. Your budget should include food, traveling/sightseeing, souvenirs, toiletries, books and emergencies. Sometimes the best way to decide how much you want to spend in each of these areas you might want to ask someone who has already gone abroad to your specific destination and ask them how much they brought, or get a financial sheet from the study abroad office. Another thing that could help you budget is to research your area and see what it has to offer. Sometimes if you know specifically where you would like to go and how much it will cost, it will alleviate the stress of whether or not you have enough money to do things you would like to do when you get there.

As you are researching your study abroad country keep a journal of the names, numbers and costs of certain places that interest you. Also, write down numbers such as the University emergency study abroad contact, your city’s U.S. Embassy number and the Department of State Bureau of Consular

Lauren Metz and advisor Sarah Gleisner talk about the excitement of preparing to study abroad. Photo by Abby Toms

Affairs Office of Overseas Citizens.

When you’re packing your handy journal into your suitcase make sure you’ve got everything you need that you may not be able to purchase while abroad.

Pack sensibly and do not bring excess items.

To avoid over-packing make sure you know the relevant weather of your country. Bringing clothing items that can be versatile and worn multiple times would be ideal. Also, check the fashion of your country. The number one thing to be careful of, especially in Europe, is being

spotted as an American. You want to make sure you are attempting to fit in with the culture wherever you are studying abroad. This unfortunately means little to no sorority or fraternity affiliated clothing or university wear.

Last but not least, it is crucial to also pack a language dictionary or a translator. You may speak flawless French, but once you visit Italy, you may need help.

As long as you follow these simple tips your semester abroad will be smooth sailing. Preparation is key, so prepare for the trip of a lifetime.

SAVE MONEY. Search the217.com restaurant directory & download coupons.

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dec 11 – dec 17 08

music

other through e-mail since Brink works in Michigan (as a karate instructor) and Reidell lives in Chicago working in graphic design. This week, buzz got a chance to talk to the duo about legal issues, their time at Pygmalion and Okkervil River. buzz: So how is a mash-up made?

Aaron: We just use our computers.

It’s pretty easy; they’re portable so we can take them anywhere. Usually what we do is we’ll find an a cappella version of a song, the vocal track, and we’ll cut out parts of another song and take the instrumental part and put them together. buzz: Do you have to have permission to use artists’ songs, and have you ever had any problems when you use songs?

Aaron: We don’t ask for permission; I think we would run into problems if we were selling the songs. In reality, on the Internet, there’s so much stuff posted I think [we’re] the least of their problems. buzz: How did you guys like Pygmalion, and how will this show be different?

Aaron: We listened to the band before us, Black Mountain, and we Used with permission from MySpace.com liked them a lot.

Steve: The last [time] we played There may be a day when the music genre be- was actually pretty awesome. People were crowd comes a device of the past. Used as a marketing surfing, and it was a total blast. [This time] we tool, retailers, critics and musicians themselves have so much to draw from [that] our set list is find it harder to categorize artists and easier to always changing — we’ll definitely have some mix them up. The Hood Internet, on the other different stuff than the last time ... and some tunes hand, have gone their own way, mashing up some to dance to. of the most unlikely singles into something new. buzz: Who are some of you favorite artists right Two friends originally from Chicago, Aaron now, personal favorites or to work with?

Brink and Steve Reidell were just a couple of Aaron: Okkervil River guys experimenting with juxtaposing the most Steve: I got the new Kanye West record, and different of songs. Upon crafting their own tunes I wasn’t sure about it at first, but I’m a huge fan out of polar opposites like Lil’ Kim and MGMT or now. I’m really enjoying that a lot. I really like the Snoop Dogg and Architecture in Helsinki, neither Flying Lotus record and the self-titled record by expected they’d be playing shows across the a band called The Women. country in cities like Chicago and L.A., let alone at some major music festivals like the Monolith Visit http://www.thehoodinternet.com to download their Music Festival in Morrison, Colo. work for free, then see them live at Canopy on Saturday, The Hood work their magic by computer and and leave them suggestions on great places to eat here in usually communicate ideas back and forth to each the CU after the show (Dos Reales?).

come and get it

buzz music

venues

Mike ’n Molly’s Turns 10

by Morgan Bonges

Topless Female Dancers 18 to enter • Mon-Thur 8pm-1am • Fri-Sat 8pm-2am • $5 Cover (Always Hiring, We’ll Train)

Silver Bullet Bar

1401 E. Washington Urbana 217.344.0937

www.silverbulletbar.net

F

or a town with so much local talent, establishments with live music quickly become an integral part of the community. For 10 years, Mike ’n Molly’s has been one such place, providing an outlet for local musicians while still staying a successful bar.

Located on North Market Street in downtown Champaign, the bar is celebrating its 10th anniversary Thursday, Dec. 18 with bar frequenters Terminus Victor and Scurvine, as well as Columbus Ohio’s Lollipop Factory. buzz talked to owner Mike Murphy about the people, the bands and the building repairs that have made his bar an integral part of the Champaign scene.

Murphy’s bar was named after him and his younger sister, who does not own the bar with him. Growing up, people always referred to the siblings as a unit: “Mike ’n Molly.” It seemed good enough then and better in fluorescent lights. And so, Mike ’n Molly’s got its name.

Since those early years, Murphy has always been a part of the bar scene. He got his feet wet working at Gully’s on campus before his family

buzz file photos

sold the bar in 1992.

“I learned the business that way. I’ve always been kind of a night owl, and I think I keep a fairly decent temper, so it kind of just worked out that way,” Murphy said.

The people who frequent the bar describe Mike ’n Molly’s as rustic and homey, going as far to describe the establishment as reminiscent of a 1982 sitcom where everybody knew your name.

“It’s a comfortable atmosphere; the bartenders have been around for a long time, so people know them. There’s just an overall coziness to the place that draws people in,” Murphy said.

While Mike ’n Molly’s is celebrating its 10th anniversary, the building will be celebrating its 200th birthday, giving the bar that worn-in, naturally dingy look that some other places curiously work hard to copy.

What sets it apart from other Champaign bars, however, is the music. In the summer, Mike ’n Molly’s hosts shows in their beer garden, but during the colder months, bands perform upstairs in an open area where people not only

come to watch but become part of the shows themselves. With no stage or platform to divide the band from the audience, Murphy points out that “there are not a lot of places where you can get as close to a band as you do here.”

Hundreds of local musicians have performed at Mike ’n Molly’s, and Murphy prides himself on the wide range of talent that he books.

“There have been more than a couple times that we’ve had bands here and a month or two later see them on Letterman or Conan O’Brien,” Murphy said.

When asked about plans for the next 10 years, Murphy looked around at the old building, mentioned the upcoming repairs he needed to make and looked at the men sitting at his bar.

“Just keep on keeping on,” Murphy responded with a smile.

For a bar that has been so successful for the past 10 years, that’s about all it needs to do.

Come visit the bar on its birthday at 9 p.m.

Thursday, Dec. 18 with Scurvine, Terminus Victor and Lollipop Factory.

Holiday Open House

Savings start at 25% off

Friday & Saturday December 12 & 13 9am–6pm

217.352.2222 • 2227 S. Neil Street, Champaign Located in the Shoppes of Knollwood behind Biaggi’s www.the217.com

dec 11 – dec 17 08

8 music buzz

C U S O U N D R E V I E W by Mike Ingram

Local band butcher’s bill for 2008 The Canopy Club’s Fall Semester Showdown is back again this weekend.

The series takes local bands and puts them together during a series of shows over several nights like a little festival.

Last night was the first, but there’s still plenty to catch if you missed it. Tonight, the interesting pairing of Zmick and Underpaid Packy will surely pack the place, starting at 9 p.m. with a $7 cover (get there before 9 p.m. and pay only $5!). Zmick is well-known for putting on genre-bending sets every Monday night as the resident band for Monday Night Rage, while Underpaid Packy has come a long way from playing at Bar Louie (yeah, remember that place?) to becoming one of the biggest bands on campus.

Friday night’s Showdown show keeps up the strong showing but also adds a touch of the bittersweet. The show will be the last in the area for Tall Tale, the group fronted by lady-duo Tracey and Tricia. The band released a full-length album (Pirate Ship) earlier this year, which contained one of the best local songs of the year (“Undertow”).

This isn’t the end of music for the members of the band, but they’ll all be heading in opposite directions in 2009. Tricia Scully (guitar/vocals) will head to France for the semester, though she is quick to point out that upon her return, Tracey and Tricia will rise again. Tall Tale will share the stage on Friday with Elsinore — another band packing one of the best songs released locally this year (“The

General” from the EP of the same name), though the full-length will now have to wait until 2009.

Elsinore will hold down the headlining spot, with the ever-evolving sound of Santa riding shotgun.

New Ruins will round things out nicely to give you a pretty great night for $7 (9 p.m. start).

And then Wu-Tang throws a wrench in everything. Where the fourth installment of the showdown was supposed to occur, the Wu-Tang Clan will perform a set that is likely to be a real treat for the folks of CU — hard to hold it against the Canopy Club, as I’m sure W-TC will bring in a few more heads. But there’s still a bit of the local fair in there as Krukid is set to open the show with DJ Delayney on deck. This is an awesome opportunity for one of the area’s best and hardest working emcees. Doors will open at 7 p.m., and you’ll want to be there in line beforehand if you want a good spot in front of the stage. Showtime is 8 p.m. This show will be followed by the originally scheduled late set from the Hood Internet (midnight, $8 advance/$10 at the door).

Earlier mention of the loss of Tall Tale as a unit reminded me that this column never really covered the loss of another excellent local group, the Beauty Shop. Prompted by the loss of another bass player (Eric Fisher, formerly of Lorenzo Goetz, moved to Portland) and a need for some different scenery, singer/guitarist John Hoeffleur said goodbye to the project he spent a decade with and moved to Chicago. John and his writing will be sorely missed (not just in his songwriting but also in his honest, biting and intelligent opinions on any subject you could prompt him with). Hopefully he’ll make the trip

down once in a while. Until then, if you don’t know much about the Beauty Shop, you can play catch-up at http://myspace.com/thebeautyshop or at any of the local music spots like Parasol or Exile On Main St., where you can pick up the band’s entire catalog.

Following through on my threat of list-writing from a couple of columns back, I now present my top five Beauty Shop songs: 1. “Ambulance” from Just Some Demos: I’ve mentioned it here several times, but this song belonged in heavy rotation on college stations across the country. It’s fantastic, and you can find it on the MySpace page. 2. “A Desperate Cry For Help” from Crisis Helpline: One of the best examples of Hoeffleur’s wit and ability to turn a great phrase. 3.

“Death March” from Yr Money or Yr Life: Also on the MySpace, this was the first song that hooked me back around the time it came out. 4. “To Keep You” also from YMOYL: This perfectly captures desperation in the form of a slow crawl. And the slide guitar work is outstanding. 5. “Babyshaker” from Crisis Helpline: It’s hard not to love this song, which became the live anthem, screamed along with by fans. Never did a three-piece with an acoustic guitar sound so badass.

Honorable mention goes to the song whose name I believe is “Liquid Fuel,” which has yet to see release (hopefully on the ***Just Some Demos*** follow up, since it was recorded). Another shining example of songwriting wit (“you got served, that’s why your words are slurred”), the song contains one of the best screams I’ve ever heard.

— Mike Ingram can be reached at forgottenwords@ gmail.com.

ALBUM REVIEWS

Guns N’ Roses’ Chinese Democracy

by Eric Heisig I will be the first to admit that as a music critic, I like to believe the hype. If people are saying something is good, I will want to believe it. If they say it is bad, I will want to believe it.

Unfortunately, hard rock stalwarts Guns N’ Roses’ Chinese Democracy, their first new album in 15 years, has both of these going for it. Even though Rolling Stone gave it a four-star review, it has been treated as somewhat of a joke since the album took so long to make and cost the group millions of dollars.

That means, though, that I went into this album with an even palate. It could be as good as they say or as horrible as they say.

And that’s where it lands. The album lands right in the middle of the pack. Half the songs are good, the others are laughable.

This may be a relief to some, who were really rooting for the band. It’s a miracle, though, that lead singer and sole remaining original member Axl Rose has any fans at all. He has only toured a few times since the band’s last album, 1993’s The Spaghetti Incident?, and this latest release has been delayed numerous times.

All this is moot, though, if the music itself doesn’t matter. But some of it does, and Chinese Democracy boasts some of Rose’s best songs DEC 11 – DEC 17 08

(which may not be saying much since the band only has six albums in its 20-plus-year career).

Despite pretensions, songs such as “Catcher in the Rye” and “Shackler’s Revenge” have good melodies and show that Rose hasn’t lost his voice over the years (for further evidence of his ability to scream, listen to “Scraped”). He can still write something rocking or something moving, and his gift for that should never have been doubted.

Still, songs such as “Chinese Democracy”

demonstrate what is wrong with having too much time. The album can feel like it was pieced together from multiple sessions, and with that comes sterility. This band is not as dangerous as they once sounded, and no amount of money or studio time can make them sound like they have fangs (don’t be fooled by any of the lyrics.

Rose has no interest in harming you).

Having too much time can also lead to excursions that any self-respecting band would laugh at. No further evidence is needed than “This I Love,” the worst song Andrew Lloyd Webber never wrote. Stay off of Broadway, Axl. Don’t let the lows take away from the highs, though (I wouldn’t say this normally, but I’m still surprised any good came out of this). When the “band” (numerous members came and went during the recording of this album) is on, they are good and have produced some great music.

There is one thing for certain, though: It should not have taken 15 years to make half an album’s worth of good songs.

The price scale: I rate albums more or less by price.

Since a fair price for a CD at a store such as Best Buy is around $12.99, Guns N’ Roses’ Chinese Democracy, I say, stands at a value of $6.50/$12.99. come and get it

movies & tv

by Andy Herren

vs.

Doubt Meryl Streep, Amy Adams, Philip Seymour Hoffman and a supposedly incredible supporting turn from Viola Davis make Doubt virtually unbeatable on the thespian front.

The Day the Earth Stood Still

CAST

Keanu Reeves, Jennifer Connelly, John Cleese, Kathy Bates and even Mad Men’s Jon Hamm are no competition for the powerhouse players that make up Doubt.

And the Oscar goes to ... Meryl Streep. And Philip Seymour Hoffman. And Amy Adams. And Viola Davis. And writer/director John Patrick Shanley. And hell, let’s give Meryl Streep one for Mamma Mia! while we’re at it.

BUZZ

Keanu Reeves stars as an alien! There are going to be lots of special effects! Still, nothing will be as scary as Meryl Streep playing in icy Catholic School principal to mega-bitch perfection.

Based on the Pulitzer Prize and Tony-winning Broadway play of the same name, Doubt has quite the impressive pedigree.

SOURCE MATERIAL

Based on the Pulitzer Prize and Tony-winning Broadway play of the same name ... wait ... it’s actually a remake of a cheesy sci-fi film from the 1950s. Bummer.

The horror! The terror! Come see Meryl Streep like you’ve never seen her before! Attack of the 100-foot Catholic nuns!!!!

IMAX CAPABILITY

So this one is actually going to be shown in IMAX. Aliens, explosions, Jennifer Connelly ... all to a huge proportion. Pretty cool, right? Eh. I’d take Doubt: The IMAX Experience any day.

SAVOY 16 www.GQTI.com

Final Score Bottom Line: There is no Doubt about what you should see this weekend.

Doubt: 4

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The Day the Earth Stood Still: 0

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Hidden Gem Force of Evil

by Matt Carey There are certain film noirs that should be required viewing for anyone who considers himself or herself a film buff, such as Double Indemnity, The Maltese Falcon and Sunset Boulevard. But one noir that is consistently left off these lists is the 1948 classic, Force of Evil.

John Garfield stars as Joe Morse, a lawyer who is working for a powerful Mob boss. Morse hatches a scheme to control many of the lottery drawings throughout New York City, thus making his boss thousands of dollars. The only problem is that one of the businesses necessary to pull off the plan is run by Morse’s brother Leo, who disagrees with Joe’s immoral lifestyle. Now Morse must decide between being loyal to his boss or betraying his brother’s trust.

For a movie that was released in 1948, Force of Evil is a fairly dark film that is also a very intense thriller. The classic film noir style is in full effect in this movie, particularly in the final gunfight that takes place in a small office that is almost solely lit by moonlight. The film was directed by Abraham Polonsky, who went on to direct only two other films, due to being blacklisted in the 1950s because of his Russian background.

Force of Evil is a dense film noir that works not only as a thriller but also as a study of the relationship between two very different brothers. It also was a very influential film, with Martin Scorsese calling it a seminal influence on his own gangster dramas.

And Scorsese’s recommendation #/ 5isn’t 0/ . enough to check this one out?

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dec 11 – dec 17 08

10 movies & tv buzz

Bursting the

Entourage Bubble

One of the most overrated shows on TV? John McDermott Sundays happen to my favorite day of the week in the fall. I usually spend my day of rest doing exactly that; I’ll sit on my ass all day, watch as much football as possible, routinely check my Fantasy roster and eagerly anticipate the Sunday night programming (if I’m feeling frisky, I might get some takeout as opposed to ordering in).

One of the staples of this past fall’s Sundays has been watching Entourage, possibly the most overrated show in television history.

Now before you stop reading, consider the following two points: (1) Entourage is entertaining and (2) I make a point to watch every episode. But that doesn’t mean that Entourage is any good. In fact, every time an episode ends, I can’t help but feeling like I wasted the last 30 minutes of my life.

Every season of Entourage has followed the same predictable plotline. For those who have never watched the show, I’ll give you a brief summary of every episode that has ever aired: Talented young actor Vincent Chase is a budding superstar, but he’s also a selfish prick who doesn’t listen to anyone’s advice. So he ends up having money problems, directors don’t want to have his ego on set and he has trouble getting into the movies he wants. But just when his career is on the verge of crumbling, his fast-talking, fiery agent, Ari Gold, comes to the rescue and delivers him a blockbuster role. Rinse and repeat. This formula was new and refreshing at first, but the lives and personalities of Vince and his crew have remained stagnant over five seasons.

This is my main problem with Entourage: no real conflict exists in the life of Vinny Chase. Somehow, we’re expected to connect and empathize with a character who makes poor career choices, cannot take direction from authority and whose only real problem is that he can’t get with Mandy Moore, although he bangs everything else that moves in Southern California.

This past season, Vince’s biggest issue is that no one thought he was a good actor. No shit. Adrien Grenier, the untalented real-life actor who portrays Vince, is so awful he makes Paul Walker look like Robert De Niro.

The show’s only saving grace are the characters who surround the always dull protagonist. But as much as I love a rant from Ari or a one-liner from Johnny Drama that I can quote in everyday conversation, it does little to overcome an uninteresting main character. Plus, I don’t see anything very redeeming about people who leech off of their friend’s success.

But as I said, Entourage is entertaining, and that’s why it’s so popular. The show itself sucks, but by filling each episode with cameos of notable Hollywood personalities and the newest in music, fashion, cars and everything else that’s trendy at the moment, the writers keep us coming back each week.

Entourage isn’t good, it’s cool. But sometimes that’s enough for an Emmy nomination. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to see if Turtle is going to close the deal with Meadow Soprano.

movie reviews

That Old Time Rock ‘n’ Roll Untold history of early Chicago scene

by Syd Slobodnik

Cadillac Records may give an initial impression of a musical biography or a Ray-like rip-off to some, but writer/director Darnell Martin’s compelling look at the three decades of the early evolution of rock ’n’ roll from its blues, rhythm and blues, and folk music origins is a fascinating tale of musical experimentation, race relations and yet another exploration of the conflicting motivations of creative artistic talent This fact-based narrative focuses mostly on the professional relationship between Polish American Jew and small-time nightclub owner, music producer and promoter, Leonard Chess, and a former sharecropper guitar player, Muddy Waters, whom Chess takes interest in. Together, they transform what was dubbed “race music” into the most influential music genre of the 20th century.

Like her little-known cult favorite I Like It Like That from 1994, Martin fills her story with entertaining musical episodes, natural performances dec 11 – dec 17 08

and solid leading characters. Jeffrey Wright, last seen as Agent Felix Leiter in the last two Bond films, is surprisingly versatile as the volatile talent Waters, and since winning his Oscar for The Pianist, Adrien Brody, who seemed to not show any sign of the dramatic talent that made him worthy of that high acting honor, is back in top form as Leonard Chess, an ambitious promoter who nicknames his company Cadillac Records because he treats all his new musical talents to a fancy, top of the line Cadillac as a sign of his appreciation. Columbus Short is impressive as the self-destructive Little Walter, and Beyoncé Knowles delivers an eye-opening, sensitive performance as the troubled singer Etta James.

While not always the most original in its narrated biographical structure or its melodramatic highs and lows, this fascinating film provides an entertaining look at a much overlooked period of music history. come and get it

10 movies & tv buzz

Bursting the

Entourage Bubble

One of the most overrated shows on TV? John McDermott Sundays happen to my favorite day of the week in the fall. I usually spend my day of rest doing exactly that; I’ll sit on my ass all day, watch as much football as possible, routinely check my Fantasy roster and eagerly anticipate the Sunday night programming (if I’m feeling frisky, I might get some takeout as opposed to ordering in).

One of the staples of this past fall’s Sundays has been watching Entourage, possibly the most overrated show in television history.

Now before you stop reading, consider the following two points: (1) Entourage is entertaining and (2) I make a point to watch every episode. But that doesn’t mean that Entourage is any good. In fact, every time an episode ends, I can’t help but feeling like I wasted the last 30 minutes of my life.

Every season of Entourage has followed the same predictable plotline. For those who have never watched the show, I’ll give you a brief summary of every episode that has ever aired: Talented young actor Vincent Chase is a budding superstar, but he’s also a selfish prick who doesn’t listen to anyone’s advice. So he ends up having money problems, directors don’t want to have his ego on set and he has trouble getting into the movies he wants. But just when his career is on the verge of crumbling, his fast-talking, fiery agent, Ari Gold, comes to the rescue and delivers him a blockbuster role. Rinse and repeat. This formula was new and refreshing at first, but the lives and personalities of Vince and his crew have remained stagnant over five seasons.

This is my main problem with Entourage: no real conflict exists in the life of Vinny Chase. Somehow, we’re expected to connect and empathize with a character who makes poor career choices, cannot take direction from authority and whose only real problem is that he can’t get with Mandy Moore, although he bangs everything else that moves in Southern California.

This past season, Vince’s biggest issue is that no one thought he was a good actor. No shit. Adrien Grenier, the untalented real-life actor who portrays Vince, is so awful he makes Paul Walker look like Robert De Niro.

The show’s only saving grace are the characters who surround the always dull protagonist. But as much as I love a rant from Ari or a one-liner from Johnny Drama that I can quote in everyday conversation, it does little to overcome an uninteresting main character. Plus, I don’t see anything very redeeming about people who leech off of their friend’s success.

But as I said, Entourage is entertaining, and that’s why it’s so popular. The show itself sucks, but by filling each episode with cameos of notable Hollywood personalities and the newest in music, fashion, cars and everything else that’s trendy at the moment, the writers keep us coming back each week.

Entourage isn’t good, it’s cool. But sometimes that’s enough for an Emmy nomination. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to see if Turtle is going to close the deal with Meadow Soprano.

movie reviews

That Old Time Rock ‘n’ Roll Untold history of early Chicago scene

by Syd Slobodnik

Cadillac Records may give an initial impression of a musical biography or a Ray-like rip-off to some, but writer/director Darnell Martin’s compelling look at the three decades of the early evolution of rock ’n’ roll from its blues, rhythm and blues, and folk music origins is a fascinating tale of musical experimentation, race relations and yet another exploration of the conflicting motivations of creative artistic talent This fact-based narrative focuses mostly on the professional relationship between Polish American Jew and small-time nightclub owner, music producer and promoter, Leonard Chess, and a former sharecropper guitar player, Muddy Waters, whom Chess takes interest in. Together, they transform what was dubbed “race music” into the most influential music genre of the 20th century.

Like her little-known cult favorite I Like It Like That from 1994, Martin fills her story with entertaining musical episodes, natural performances dec 11 – dec 17 08

and solid leading characters. Jeffrey Wright, last seen as Agent Felix Leiter in the last two Bond films, is surprisingly versatile as the volatile talent Waters, and since winning his Oscar for The Pianist, Adrien Brody, who seemed to not show any sign of the dramatic talent that made him worthy of that high acting honor, is back in top form as Leonard Chess, an ambitious promoter who nicknames his company Cadillac Records because he treats all his new musical talents to a fancy, top of the line Cadillac as a sign of his appreciation. Columbus Short is impressive as the self-destructive Little Walter, and Beyoncé Knowles delivers an eye-opening, sensitive performance as the troubled singer Etta James.

While not always the most original in its narrated biographical structure or its melodramatic highs and lows, this fascinating film provides an entertaining look at a much overlooked period of music history. come and get it

art How to Spend

“A Lovely Sunday”

Friday Juicebox : : 5–7pm : : $10 CHAMPAGNE! Saturday Tasting : : 2–6 pm : : $5 Sparklers!

Sunday Beer Tasting : : 2–5 pm : : $3 This Is It! The Last Tasting of ‘08!

The Station Theatre explores unsung Tennessee Williams

Corkscrew Wine Emporium

203 N Vine St, Urbana • 217.337.7704 Mon-Sat: 11–8 Sun: 12–5

by Betsi Freeman Tennessee Williams’ A Lovely Sunday for Creve Coeur, now running at Station Theatre in Urbana, features four well-drawn characters and many witty jokes. Despite a few flubbed lines, the Saturday night show showed a lot of heart and was very well-acted and directed overall.

Set in 1930s St. Louis, Creve Coeur centers on roommates Dottie (played by Martha Mills), a 20-something civics teacher who has fallen head over heels for the high school principal, and Bodey (Mindy Manolakes), an older German woman with a hearing impairment who’s trying to set Dottie up with her brother Buddy.

Dottie’s colleague Helena (Joi Hoffsommer) comes by to pressure Dottie into moving in with her and stays to make cutting remarks about Bodey and the garishly decorated apartment.

Finally, the constantly tearful Sophie (Carly Churchey) comes down from upstairs to add more melodrama to the mix.

As the story progresses and Dottie’s disillusionment in her love life grows, I found myself wishing Mills would push herself a little more to commit vocally to the role of someone who is tragically in love. She does a great job with complex staging, demanding calisthenics and memorization of many difficult lines. However, since some of her lines were rushed at the beginning and seemed a bit rote, she doesn’t seem quite vulnerable enough to be fainting from the combination of heat, romantic desire and social pressure, as the script asks her to do.

However, there are many excellent moments in this production, particularly when Hoffsommer takes over with her sharp tongue. She has a lovely monologue that finally humanizes her, and her face shows layers of pain under her mask of harsh comments. Manolakes is instantly lovable and a very nice foil to the craziness of everyone else, even though she’s the butt of many of their jokes and caretaker to the hapless Sophie. Yet, it’s Churchey who steals the spotlight, despite the fact that her character doesn’t speak English, with a wide variety of slapstick gestures and comical facial expressions.

Creve Coeur touches on many of the same ideas seen in A Streetcar Named Desire, such as women’s loneliness and the lengths they will go to for the company of men, but without any actual male characters, it doesn’t carry the same kind of elemental gravitas. Also, it’s primarily a comedy, which makes the material a little thematically confusing. Williams seems to be ultimately saying that Dottie is choosing between two men as if they’re the last two in the world, and Mills’ Dottie never quite sinks to that level of desperation.

This week

Kr annErT CEnTEr for ThE PErforming arTs

Th Dec 11

5pm

Krannert Uncorked // marqUEE

7:30pm

Champaign-Urbana symphony orchestra: The CUSO Holiday Concert // CUso Th Dec 18

5pm

Krannert Uncorked // marqUEE

GoT cenTerchecks?

Don’t forget to redeem them during your next trip to intermezzo.

CenterChecks, Krannert Center’s gift certificates, never expire; they may be used for purchases at intermezzo, The Promenade gift shop, the bar at stage5, and the Ticket office. They’re available at The Promenade and the Ticket office, and you may also purchase them at KrannertCenter.com.

Creve Coeur will be running December 10-14 and 17-20 at 8 p.m. at Station Theatre on 223 N. Broadway in Urbana.

Tickets are $12 on Thursday, $15 on Friday and Saturday, and $6 on Wednesday and Sunday. You can call 3844000 for reservations.

C A L L 3 3 3 . 6 2 8 0 s 1. 8 0 0 . K C P A T I X

Corporate Power Train Engine:

40 North and Krannert Center —working together to put Champaign County’s culture on the map.

www.the217.com

Marquee performances are supported in part by the Illinois Arts Council—a state agency which recognizes Krannert Center in its Partners in Excellence Program.

DEC 11 – DEC 17 08

front & center

Beads as Colorful as Their Creator

From left to right: Metallic colors mixed with hand blown glass makes Athan Chilton’s beads a spectacle to behold. • A frame filled with beautiful handmade glass beads by Athan Chilton. • A hand beaded leather medallion by Athan Chilton. Photos by Isaac Bloom.

Urbana artist makes beads with heart

by Lauren Yang

A

than Chilton puts her protective visor on over her curly brown hair and coats a welding rod in bead separator, preventing the hot glass from sticking to the metal. The flame of her torch heats the tip of a rod of glass until it begins to melt. As the molten glass drips onto the welding rod, she turns it to ensure smoothness, sometimes using tools to create grooves or contusions.

“When I start, I never know what I’m going to do,” Chilton says. “As an artist, you make something out of nothing: I look at a lot of people’s work and see pictures of things I like, but my work pretty much comes right out of my imagination.”

The Urbana artist describes her work as “eccentric, personal and colorful — a little off-center, perhaps.”

A former singer-songwriter turned jewelry and glass artist, Chilton possesses a history as colorful as the glass beads she makes and has become, in her words, “the ‘beadmaker’ in Urbana.”

dec 11 – dec 17 08

A Bay Area native, Chilton lived in CU for about eight years while growing up, as her father was a professor at the University in the ’60s. Always artistically inclined, she can’t remember a time in her childhood when she wasn’t drawing. Chilton later tried art programs at SIU and the University of New Mexico but disliked the line they drew between craft and fine art.

“They weren’t teaching anything I didn’t already know, so I don’t regret (leaving),” she says. “In that time period, there were other things going on, so many didn’t go the school route.”

After a stint as a musician on the West Coast where she played guitar, sang and wrote music, Chilton returned to Urbana in ’81 to be part of a project at a local recording studio that ultimately fell through.

She took up a job as a secretary at the University and returned to her artistic passions. At first, she remembers, she “messed around” with fiber arts and knitting before getting into stained glass.

“I started doing stained glass windows locally, some of which I think are still around,” she says. She recalls doing some “really crazy stuff,” including a stained glass portrait of a woman’s malamutes, one of which had died. “It was essentially a memorial dog window. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find pink glass the right shade for a dog’s tongue?”

come and get it

Between ’02 and ’04, Chilton made the switch from cold glass, which is used for stained glass, to hot glass after spending an afternoon watching a woman in Indianapolis use the latter.

“I learn by looking — I went home, got a torch and was scared to death of it,” she recalls. “But then I got addicted and eventually got good enough for people to want to buy (my pieces).”

Prior to this, Chilton had made jewelry using gemstones and metal. However, she says the popularity of her glass beads led her to shift focus and devote more time to her newfound craft. She also gives lessons to interested locals, most of whom find her through Glass FX in Champaign.

Chilton’s favorite material is a silver-added glass used in conjunction with a reducing flame to give basic beads a metallic finish. She likens the effect to a Polaroid picture: You can’t tell what colors you’ll get by looking at the original rod.

Her pieces can be found at several local markets, including Lincoln Square indoor market. Chilton says that people seem to have a way of finding her, so she doesn’t think an online store is necessary.

Her most expensive beads go for $12, but she notes that she hasn’t seen much of a drop-off with recent economic trends.

www.the217.com

“I’m still not sure what it is that makes people buy (the beads), but it’s been a great development,” she says. “People purchasing them allows me to fulfill my dream of doing some sort of art I don’t get sick of and that can bring in money. And for that, I am very grateful and glad.”

Customers use her beads for more than jewelry — some have told her they’ve used her pieces to adorn lamps, fans, draperies and even zipper pulls. She’s heard of her beads going all over the world to places she’ll never go, such as Istanbul and Qatar. They have become popular because they possess continuity and beauty, she says, but are also portable, small and unique. “My pieces have to be functional and beautiful,” she says. “There’s enough ugliness in the world, so it’s pretty important to put beautiful things in there, too.”

Some tools of the trade, found in Athan Chilton’s garage studio.

dec 11 – dec 17 08

calendar

Complete listing available at

Submit your event to the calendar:

Online: forms available at the217.com/calendar • E-mail: send your notice to calendar@the217.com • Fax: 337-8328, addressed to the217 calendar Snail mail: send printed materials via U.S. Mail to: the217 calendar, Illini Media, 512 E. Green St., Champaign, IL 61820 • Call: 531-1456 if you have a question or to leave a message about your event.

thur, dec 11

kids & families

Discovery Room live music Savoy Recreational CenGlenn Wilson’s Jazz ter, Savoy, all day, $2/ Maniacs Residents and Members, Iron Post, U, 7pm $3/NR Funky Jonny Ages crawling-7.

The Embassy Tavern & Baby Time Grill, U, 7:30pm Douglass Branch Library, Andy Moreillon C, 10:30am Memphis on Main, C, Drop in for this weekly 9pm program of lap bouncing, Caleb Cook and the Big nursery rhymes, music, Naturals and play time for the litRosebowl Tavern, Ltd., tlest ones.

U, 9pm Write On! Fall Semester Show Down Urbana Free Library, U, Canopy Club, U, 9pm, 4pm $5-$7 Third, fourth, and fifth Zorbas Jazz graders are encouraged Zorba’s, C, 9:30pm, $3 to bring their pencils and imagination for an dj adventure in creative writDJ Halfdead ing with librarian Elaine Radmaker’s Rock & Roll Bearden.

Tavern, Tolono, 8pm ARTfusion Stitches w/ DJs Rickbats Douglass Branch Library, and Kannibal C, 4pm The Clark Bar, C, 10pm Preschool Tales DJ Bob Bass Urbana Free Library, U, Soma Ultralounge, C, 10pm 9:45pm DJ Belly fundraisers Boltini Lounge, C, 10:30pm Toys For Tots Toy Drive Bentley’s Pub, C, 11am dance music Bring in a toy for Toys For Country DJ and Line Tots and enter to win a Dancing Lessons $100 gift certificate to Radmaker’s Rock & Roll Bentley’s Pub and a three Tavern, Tolono, 8pm course dinner for four to Carmons. Each toy doconcert nated is an entry to the Champaign-Urbana Sym- raffle. Donate through phony Orchestra Holiday December 19. Must be 21 Concert to enter.

Krannert Center for UC Books to Prisoners the Performing Arts, U, work session 7:30pm, $31/$28/$5 Urbana-Champaign Independent Media Center, karaoke U, 2pm Karaoke with Randy Miller UC Books to Prisoners Bentley’s Pub, C, 9:30pm is an Urbana, IL based Karaoke project providing books to Senator’s Bar & Grill, SaIllinois inmates at no cost. voy, 10pm Volunteer at the work session.

stage

Champaign Central Drama: The Wiz Champaign Central High School, C, 7pm, $5 The classic story of The Wizard Of Oz with a twist.

A Lovely Sunday for Creve Coeur The Station Theatre, U, 8pm, $12

literary Works by Phyllis Rash Hughes Pages for All Ages, Savoy Award-winning artist Phyllis Rash Hughes is best known for her pen-and-ink drawings, which often reflect her experiences as a dancer and musician.

dec 11 – dec 17 08

mind/body/ spirit Meditation & Yoga Classes Ananda Liina Yoga & Meditation Center, U, 6pm Learn and practice yoga postures and exercises, mantra chanting, meditation and the wisdom of yoga philosophy.

miscellaneous The Bike Project Open Shop Hours Urbana-Champaign Independent Media Center, U, 6pm Check out the tools and work stands you can use to fix your own bike and

tour their massive collection of parts, spares and used bikes.

Japan House Tours Japan House, U, 1pm Free to the public, no reservations required.

Tea Ceremonies Japan House, U, 2pm, $5

food & drink Krannert Uncorked Krannert Center for the Performing Arts, U, 5pm Beverages may be tasted free of charge and will be available for purchase by the glass at a special discounted price during the tasting. No tickets required.

fri, dec 12 live music Happy Hour and Live Music Silvercreek, U, 5pm Darden Purcell Iron Post, U, 5pm Boneyard Jazz Quintet The Embassy Tavern & Grill, U, 5:30pm Dan, Bob, and Joni Huber’s West End Store, C, 8pm Milly Geronimo/Morgan Orion Red Herring Coffeehouse, U, 8pm Steve Ewing/Brett Byrd Revival/Swizzle Tree and Missing the Point Radmaker’s Rock & Roll Tavern, Tolono, 8pm Rocket Science Bentley’s Pub, C, 8:30pm Delta Kings Memphis on Main, C, 9pm Fall Semester Show Down Canopy Club, U, 9pm, $5-7 Hillbilly Jones Rosebowl Tavern, Ltd., U, 9pm Candy Foster & Shades of Blue The Embassy Tavern & Grill, U, 9pm, $5 Tree Thump/Mhondoro meets Bolokada Iron Post, U, 9:30pm Ian Procell, AMP, D.O.M. Boltini Lounge, C, 10pm The Show Urbana-Champaign Independent Media Center, U, 10pm The Show is a 2 hour live radio program broadcast on WRFU-LP, Urbana 104.5 FM every Friday @ 10 PM.

dj Country Dancing at Bradley’s II Bradley’s II, C, 9pm, $5

DJ Delayney Radio Maria, C, 10pm DJ and Dancing Highdive, C, 10pm, $5, no cover before 11 with student ID DJ Tim Williams Soma Ultralounge, C, 10pm, $5 DJ and Dancing Joe’s Brewery, C, 8:30pm, $5

literary

tickets

Blue Jean Boutique Douglass Branch Library, C, 4pm Just bring your sewing skills and creativity and get ready to impress your friends. All supplies will be provided, or bring your own jeans.

Larry the Cable Guy LIVE! The Eat, Drink, be Larry Tour Assembly Hall, C, 10am, $44

karaoke Karaoke Senator’s Bar & Grill, Savoy, 10pm Karaoke with DJ Hollywood Wendl’s, U, 9pm

stage Champaign Central Drama: The Wiz Champaign Central High School, C, 7pm, $5 The classic story of The Wizard Of Oz with a twist.

A Lovely Sunday for Creve Coeur The Station Theatre, U, 8pm, $15 FrUiTCaKes The Rantoul Theater Group, Rantoul, 8pm, $7-$10 A Christmas comedy play of a little boy who runs away from home and comes to a town where all the characters are “fruitcakes.”

Works by Phyllis Rash Hughes Pages for All Ages, Savoy Award-winning artist Phyllis Rash Hughes is best known for her penand-ink drawings, which often reflect her experiences as a dancer and musician.

fashion

THE217.COM/ CALENDAR

Wu-Tang Clan canopy club, dec. 13

Don’t miss this legendary hip hop group at the Canopy Club this Saturday night. Tickets for this early show are $35 in advance, and they can be purchased at the Canopy, Family Pride Convenience Store, Bacca Cigar and Exile on Main Street.

The show will begin at 8 p.m., and doors will open at 7 p.m.

kids & families Discovery Room Savoy Recreational Center, Savoy, all day, $2/ Residents and Members, $3/NR Ages crawling-7.

Tales for Twos Douglass Branch Library, C, 10:30am

fundraisers

Toys For Tots Toy Drive Bentley’s Pub, C, 11am Bring in a toy for Toys For Tots and enter to win a $100 gift certificate to Bentley’s Pub and a three course dinner for four to Carmons. Each toy donated is an entry to the raffle.

Donate through December 19. Must be 21 to enter.

James Bean The Embassy Tavern & mind/body/ Grill, U, 9pm spirit Pearl Handle Band Yoga Classes Rosebowl Tavern, Ltd., Krannert Art Museum U, 9pm holidays and Kinkead Pavilion, C Big Grove Zydeco Take a Break Gift Shop This hour-long class intro- Iron Post, U, 9pm Evening duces the fundamentals Run For Cover Early American Museum, of hatha yoga. ParticiMemphis on Main, C, Mahomet, 6:30pm pants should bring their 9pm Take a break out of your own yoga mats. Other Leather Pistol busy holiday schedule for supplies are provided.

Radmaker’s Rock & Roll a special quiet time for Tavern, Tolono, 9pm adults to relax, talk, have sat, dec 13 Larry Gates & Jesse refreshments and connect Greenlee (ex-Lorenzo once again with folk toys live music Goetz) of the past. Try them out The Hood Internet Bentley’s Pub, before choosing your own Canopy Club, U, $8 in C, 10pm gift for that special child. advance dj Enjoy refreshments, muPainkillers sic, door prizes and gift Iron Post, U, 6pm DJ and Dancing wrap, all free of charge.

Michael Kammin Joe’s Brewery, C, 8:30pm, Pages for All Ages, Savoy, $5 lectures 7pm DJ Mertz Rites of the Season: Wu-Tang Clan Boltini Lounge, C, 11pm Planetarium Show Canopy Club, U, 8pm, $35 DJ Tim Williams William M. Staerkel Plan- Impalas Highdive, C, 11pm, $5 etarium, C, 8pm, $3-$4 Huber’s West End Store, (students free before Learn about the origins of C, 8pm 10:30pm) our traditions of ChristFive Oh First/Jack Pine Kosmo at Soma mas, New Year’s Day, Ha- Savage/The Brothers Why Soma Ultralounge, C, 11pm nukkah, and Kwanzaa.

Red Herring Coffeehouse, U, 8pm

dance music Radio Salsa Radio Maria, C, 11pm, $3 Salsa, Merengue, Bachata music & dancing w/ DJ Bris.

karaoke Karaoke Senator’s Bar & Grill, Savoy, 10pm Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo’s, U, 10pm

concert

A Lovely Sunday for Creve Coeur The Station Theatre, U, 8pm, $15 FrUiTCaKes The Rantoul Theater Group, Rantoul, 8pm, $7-$10 A Christmas comedy play of a little boy who runs away from home and comes to a town where all the characters are “fruitcakes.”

Amasong: Sounds of Home McKinley Presbyterian Church and Foundation, C, 7:30pm

holidays

tickets

lectures

Rascal Flatts with Special guest Jessica Simpson Assembly Hall, C, 10am, $70 and $49.95

Rites of the Season: Planetarium Show William M. Staerkel Planetarium, C, 8pm, $3-$4 Learn about the origins of our traditions of Christmas, New Year’s Day, Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa.

stage Champaign Central Drama: The Wiz Champaign Central High School, C, 2:30pm, 7pm, $5 The classic story of The Wizard Of Oz with a twist.

Douglass Park Holiday Party Douglass Community Center, C, 12pm

come and get it

buzz calendar 15 literary

miscellaneous

lgbt

Works by Phyllis Rash Hughes Pages for All Ages, Savoy Award-winning artist Phyllis Rash Hughes is best known for her penand-ink drawings, which often reflect her experiences as a dancer and musician.

The Bike Project Open Shop Hours Urbana-Champaign Independent Media Center, U, 3pm Check out the tools and work stands you can use to fix your own bike and tour their massive collection of parts, spares and used bikes.

Mpowerment Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Resources, U, 5pm Mpowerment is a community group for young gay/bisexual men.

literary

Works by Phyllis Rash Hughes Pages for All Ages, Savoy Award-winning artist Phyllis Rash Hughes is best known for her penand-ink drawings, which often reflect her experifundraisers ences as a dancer and Toys For Tots Toy Drive musician.

Bentley’s Pub, C, 11am Kick Back and Read kids & families Bring in a toy for Toys For Champaign Public Library, food & Drink Discovery Room Tots and enter to win a C, 6:45pm Savoy Recreational CenHoliday market at Lincoln $100 gift certificate to This book discussion ter, Savoy, all day, $2/ Square Bentley’s Pub and a three group for high school stuResidents and Members, Lincoln Square Mall, U, course dinner for four to dents meets one Monday $3/NR 8am Carmons. Each toy donat- night a month.

Ages crawling-7.

From produce to baked ed is an entry to the raffle. The Write Stuff Celebrating Children in a goods to holiday crafts, Donate through December Champaign Public Library, World Community the holiday market is sure 19. Must be 21 to enter.

C, 7:45pm Spurlock Museum, U, to offer something for UC Books to Prisoners Get creative with other 10am everyone. work session middle and high school Candy Christmas Trees Urbana-Champaign Instudents looking to hone Urbana Free Library, U, sun, dec 14 dependent Media Center, their craft.

11am U, 1pm live music volunteer Children of all ages are UC Books to Prisoners invited for stories and Emerald Rum is an Urbana, IL based Teen Advisory Board songs about Christmas Blind Pig Co., The, C, 6pm project providing books to Champaign Public Library, Trees. Afterwards, you Matt Turino and Ben Smith Illinois inmates at no cost. C, 6pm will make your own deli- Iron Post, U, 7pm Volunteer at the work kids & families cious candy Christmas session. dj Trees to take home.

FriendShop Used Book Discovery Room Spanish Storytime Saturday is Distinto y Store Open Savoy Recreational CenUrbana Free Library, U, Diferente Champaign Public Library, ter, Savoy, all day, $2/ 2:30pm Great Impasta, C, $3 a C, 2:30pm Residents and Members, Green Santa’s Coming! person or $5 a couple The Library Friends sell $3/NR Lincoln Square Village, Make this Saturday stand used books for $1 or less, Ages crawling-7.

U, 3pm out and make it Distinto plus CDs, videos, and O Baby!

You’ll be entertained and y Diferente with music by DVDs for $1.50, along Champaign Public Library, also get to learn about DJ Andriano with Mambo with unique gift items. All C, 9:45am, 10:30am ways you can celebrate Italiano. sales benefit the library.

Drop in any Monday the holiday season and for twenty minutes of concert miscellaneous enjoy the whole year in lap bouncing, nursery environmentally-friendly Amasong: Sounds of The Bike Project Open rhymes, music activities, ways.

Home Shop Hours easy listening, and play Santa’s Secret Star McKinley Presbyterian Urbana-Champaign Intime for the littlest ones.

William M. Staerkel Church and Foundation, dependent Media Center, No registration.

Planetarium, C, 7pm, C, 4pm U, 3pm Babies’ Lap Time: Moon$3-$4 Check out the tools and light Edition Learn about the day and karaoke work stands you can use Urbana Free Library, U, night sky and how the Liquid Courage Karaoke to fix your own bike and 6:30pm stars seem to make pic- Geo’s, U, 7pm tour their massive collec- Ages birth to 24 months tures in the sky in our tion of parts, spares and with an adult. No registranewest holiday show for stage used bikes. tion is required for this young stargazers.

Champaign Central free program.

Drama: The Wiz mon, dec 15 fundraisers fundraisers Champaign Central High live music Toys For Tots Toy Drive School, C, 2:30pm, $5 Toys For Tots Toy Drive Bentley’s Pub, C, 11am The classic story of The Jazz Jam Hosted by MRS Bentley’s Pub, C, 11am Bring in a toy for Toys For Wizard Of Oz with a twist. Trio Bring in a toy for Toys For Tots and enter to win a A Lovely Sunday for Creve Iron Post, U, 7pm Tots and enter to win a $100 gift certificate to Coeur FingaLickin $100 gift certificate to Bentley’s Pub and a three The Station Theatre, U, The Embassy Tavern & Bentley’s Pub and a three course dinner for four to 8pm, $6 Grill, U, 8pm course dinner for four to Carmons. Each toy doFrUiTCaKes Monday Night Miracle Carmons. Each toy donated is an entry to the The Rantoul Theater with Zmick nated is an entry to the raffle. Donate through Group, Rantoul, 2pm, Canopy Club, U, 9pm raffle. Donate through December 19. Must be 21 $7-$10 Abe Froman Project December 19. Must be 21 to enter.

A Christmas comedy play Mike ‘n’ Molly’s, C, 9pm to enter. of a little boy who runs wpgu dj mind/body/ away from home and spirit Miller Lite Vending Macomes to a town where all DJ Mingram chine Giveaway the characters are “fruit- Highdive, C, 10pm Tarot Card Reading White Horse Inn, C, 10pm cakes.”

Carmon’s Restaurant, C, stage We’ll be giving away a 5:30pm, $15 kids & families ”Passion and Intellect”, Catherine of Bead and Miller Lite Vending Machine. Come out to White Discovery Room an evening of Poetry Botanicals in Urbana will Horse for your chance Savoy Recreational CenLa Gourmandise Bistro on look into your future. to win! ter, Savoy, all day, $2/ Main, U, 7pm Residents and Members, Hear the likes of Carmon $3/NR Perciful and Michael LaAges crawling-7.

Due recite poetry.

www.the217.com

tue, dec 16 live music Central High Jazz Band Iron Post, U, 6pm Acoustic Tuesday with Jeremy Harper Memphis on Main, C, 7:30pm Jeff Kerr and Billy Galt The Embassy Tavern & Grill, U, 8pm Corn Desert Ramblers Rosebowl Tavern, Ltd., U, 9pm The Piano Man Canopy Club, U, 9pm

dj ”Dusty Music” — DJ Delayney Mike ‘n’ Molly’s, C, 10:15pm, $1

karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo’s, U, 9pm Karaoke with Randy Miller Bentley’s Pub, C, 9:30pm

open mic Original Music Showcase Espresso Royale, U, 8pm Open Mic Night Memphis on Main, C, 8pm Open Mic Night Cowboy Monkey, C, 10pm

literary Works by Phyllis Rash Hughes Pages for All Ages, Savoy Award-winning artist Phyllis Rash Hughes is best known for her pen-and-ink drawings, which often reflect her experiences as a dancer and musician.

kids & families Discovery Room Savoy Recreational Center, Savoy, all day, $2/ Residents and Members, $3/NR Ages crawling-7.

Tuesday Twos Champaign Public Library, C, 9:45am, 10:30am, 11:15am Goodnight Storyshop Champaign Public Library, C, 6:30pm Babies’ Lap Time Urbana Free Library, U, 9:45pm, 10:30pm Ages birth to 24 months.

lgbt LGBT Resume Critiques Illini Union, U, 4pm Does your resume need to be critiqued? Get it critiqued by an expert from the career center on campus in the LGBT Resource Center.

Rainbow Coffeehouse Wesley-United Methodist Church & Wesley Foundation, U, 6:30pm

The LGTBQA Caucus of the GEO offers the opportunity to learn more about the LGTBQ representation in the Graduate Employees’ Organization and to help promote community, solidarity and social justice.

fundraisers Toys For Tots Toy Drive Bentley’s Pub, C, 11am Bring in a toy for Toys For Tots and enter to win a $100 gift certificate to Bentley’s Pub and a three course dinner for four to Carmons. Each toy donated is an entry to the raffle. Donate through December 19. Must be 21 to enter.

DJ LEGTWO Boltini Lounge, C, 9pm Jeff Markland’s DJ’s all request Radmaker’s Rock & Roll Tavern, Tolono, 9pm Salsa Night with DJ Bris Cowboy Monkey, C, 10pm Reggae Night @ Barfly Barfly, C, 10pm DJ Mingram Soma Ultralounge, C, 10pm

karaoke Paul Faber Dragon Karaoke The Embassy Tavern & Grill, U, 9pm Liquid Courage Karaoke Geovanti’s, C, 10pm

Duct Work Savoy Recreational Center, Savoy, 5:30pm, $25 for residents of Savoy; $32 for non-residents Ages 5-12.

lgbt Mpowerment Christmas Party Chester Street, C, 10pm Join the men of Mpowerment for the “Wrap it Up for the Holidays” Christmas Party.

fundraisers

Toys For Tots Toy Drive Bentley’s Pub, C, 11am Bring in a toy for Toys For Tots and enter to win a $100 gift certificate to open mic Bentley’s Pub and a three Amateur Comedy Night course dinner for four to mind/body/ Memphis on Main, C, Carmons. Each toy dospirit 8:30pm nated is an entry to the Tarot Card Readings Open-Mic Night raffle. Donate through Carmon’s Restaurant, C, Radio Maria, C, 10:30pm December 19. Must be 21 5pm, $15 Hosted by Jake Fleischli to enter.

Beginners’ Group Mediof The Tractor Kings and miscellaneous tation Jared Roberts of ZeroAnanda Liina Yoga & Base.

The Bike Project Open Meditation Center, U, Shop Hours stage 6pm Urbana-Champaign IndeLearn and practice mantra A Lovely Sunday for Creve pendent Media Center, U, chanting and meditation. Coeur 6:30pm Dada Madhuvidyananda, The Station Theatre, U, Check out the tools and a yogic monk and teacher 8pm, $6 work stands you can use is leading the group medi- Zoo Improv Comedy to fix your own bike and tation and gives a brief Troupe tour their massive collectalk on yogic spiritual Iron Post, U, 8pm, $4 tion of parts, spares and practices and philosophy used bikes. literary after the practice. support groups Works by Phyllis Rash wed, dec 17 Hughes Among Women: A LesbiPages for All Ages, Savoy an and Bisexual Women’s live music Award-winning artist Support Group Ken Smith Jazz Combo Phyllis Rash Hughes is Asian American Cultural Iron Post, U, 5pm best known for her penCenter, U, 5pm Donnie Heitler and-ink drawings, which We are an informal supGreat Impasta, C, 6pm often reflect her experiport group made up of Traditional Irish Music ences as a dancer and lesbian, bisexual, queer Session musician. and questioning women Bentley’s Pub, C, 7pm students at UIUC; a place kids & families to meet other women Yoss Arian Canopy Club, U, 8pm, $5 Discovery Room who share your concerns Rocket Science At Savoy Recreational Cenand to form or broaden Senator’s Inn Pub ter, Savoy, all day, $2/ your social support netSenator’s Bar & Grill, SaResidents and Members, work. voy, 8pm $3/NR Coming Out Support Ages crawling-7.

Group dj Storyshop Illini Union, U, 7pm Country Dancing at Champaign Public Library, Safe place to listen, talk Bradley’s II C, 9:45am, 10:30am and learn about sexual Bradley’s II, C, 9pm, $5 Storyshop at the Branch identity and coming out DJ Bob Bass Douglass Branch Library, issues.

Highdive, C, 8pm, $3/$5 C, 10:30am after 10pm.

Wednesday Wii DJ Bris Urbana Free Library, U, Cowboy Monkey, C, 8pm 4pm

Calendar submission deadline changes Because of the holidays, the buzz calendar deadlines will be earlier. Events occurring December 18-25 should be submitted by December 15 at 5 p.m. Events occurring December 26 through January 7 should be submitted

by December 21 at 5 p.m.

dec 11 – dec 17 08

classifieds

Deadline: 2 p.m. Tuesday for the next Thursday’s edition.

Index Employment Services Merchandise Transportation Apartments Other Housing/Rent Real Estate for Sale Things To Do Announcements Personals

000 100 200 300 400 500 600 700 800 900

• PLEASE CHECK YOUR AD! Report errors immediately by calling 337-8337. We cannot be responsible for more than one day’s incorrect insertion if you do not notify us of the error by 2 pm on the day of the first insertion.

• All advertising is subject to the approval of the publisher. The Daily Illini shall have the right to revise, reject or cancel, in whole or in part, any advertisement, at any time.

• All employment advertising in this newspaper is subject to the City of Champaign Human Rights Ordinance and similar state and local laws, making it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement which expresses limitation, specification or discrimination as to race, color, mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual orientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, prior arrest or conviction record, source of income, or the fact that such person is a student.

• Specification in employment classifications are made only where such factors are bonafide occupational qualifications necessary for employment.

• All real estate advertising in this newspaper is subject to the Federal Fair Housing Act of 1968, and similar state and local laws which make it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement relating to the transfer, sale, rental, or lease of any housing which expresses limitation, specifications or discrimination as to race, color, creed, class, national origin, religion, sex, age, marital status, physical or mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual oientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, or the fact that such person is a student.

• This newspaper will not knowingly accept any advertising for real estate that is in violation of the law. Our readers are informed that all dwellings advertised in this newspaper are available on an equal oppportunity basis.

Deadline:

2 p.m. Tuesday for the next Thursday’s edition.

Rates:

Billed rate: 39¢/word Paid-in-Advance: 33¢/word

Photo Sellers

30 words or less + photo: $5 per issue

Garage Sales

30 words in both Thursday’s buzz and Friday’s Daily Illini!! $10. If it rains, your next date is free.

Action Ads

• 20 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $20 • 10 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $10 • add a photo to an action ad, $10

dec 11 – dec 17 08

HELP WANTED

020 APARTMENTS

Part time

420 APARTMENTS

Furnished

Illini Media recommends readers take care when responding to classified ads, especially ads asking to send money. Illini Media does not knowingly publish fraudulent advertisements and requests readers report difficulties to the classified department by calling 217-337-8337.

APARTMENTS

Furnished/Unfurnished 105 E. John, C

410

Available Fall 2009. 1 & 2 bedroom furnished, great location. Phone 352-3182. Office at 309 S. First, Champaign.

THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com BEST OFFER CAMPUS 1 BR Loft 2 BR 3 BR 4 BR Campus. 367-6626 For August 2009 BEST VALUE CAMPUS 1 BR. loft from $480.

1 BR. $395 2 BR. $580 3 BR. $750 4 BR. $855 Campus. 367-6626.

August 2009

APARTMENTS

306.5 E. Green (3rd & Green) 3 bedroom apts • Free Internet • Near Quad • Near bars and resturants

ROLAND REALTY 351-8900 www.roland-realty.com

Two Bedrooms Furnished Urbana Side

3 Blocks To Quad!

$810 DW, microwave, desk, central a/c, balcony

Bailey Apts.

Furnished

344-3008

111 E. Chalmers, C.

604 E. White, C. Security Entrance For Fall 2009, Large studio, 1 bedroom, Loft Apartment. Furnished, balconies, patios, laundry, off-street parking, value pricing. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

203 S. Sixth, C. For August 2009. Large 4 bedrooms, 2 bath. Balconies, laundry, covered parking. Value pricing. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

207/211 John C. 2, 3,4 BR. Great Location, on-site laundry, parking. 3 BR with 2.5 bath/ spa with own washer/dryer. 4 BR with leather furniture plus Flat screen TV. Value Pricing from 420/ person.

309 S. First C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

Jan. & Fall 2009 Large studio, double closet, well furnished. Starting from $350/mo. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup.com 352-3182

901-905-909 S. First (1st & Daniel) 1 bdrm & studio apts • Most utilities included • At Roland Pool • On 22 bus line ROLAND REALTY 351-8900 www.roland-realty.com 101 E. Green (1st & Green)

3 bedroom apts

• Free Internet • Dishwashers • 1 ½ Baths • Balcony

ROLAND REALTY 351-8900 www.roland-realty.com

309-311 E. Daniel (4th & Daniel) 4 Bedroom • 3 blocks to quad • Free Internet • Near bars and restaurants ROLAND REALTY 351-8900 www.roland-realty.com

MHM Properties LUXURY APARTMENTS

Fall 2009

337-8852 • www.mhmproperties.com

102 S Lincoln, U. 808 S Oak, C. 101 E Daniel, C. 205 S Sixth, C. 605 E Clark, C. 101 S Busey, U. 203 S Fourth, C. 805 S Locust, C.

420 APARTMENTS

August 2009 Studio and 1 bedrooms. Furniture, skylights, offstreet parking, laundry. Value pricing. Office at 309 S. First.

THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

307 & 310 E. WHITE, C 307 & 309 CLARK, C

420

Furnished

www.BAILEYAPARTMENTS.com

Place an Ad: 217 - 337 - 8337

Horizon Apts Bi-Levels Bi-Levels Jacuzzi & Big Screen TV Beckman View Apts Paid Utilities!

Cathedral Lofts Bi-Levels

2, 3, 4 BR 2, 3, 4 BR 1, 2, 4 BR 3, 4 BR 1 BR 1 BR 1, 2, 3, 4 BR 2, 4 BR

HOUSES: 4-9 PERSONS, WASHER & DRYER, FREE PARKING 101 E. Armory, 803 S. First, 61 E. John, 803 S. Locust, 312 & 314 E. Clark, 3081/2 W. William

Many Units Feature: Free Internet, Laundry Dishwasher, Microwave, AC, Ceiling Fan, Balcony, Cathedral Ceiling, Intercom, Contemporary Furnishings, Security Entry, Covered Parking, Burglar Alarms, Sound-proofing, Energy Efficient

337-8852 • www.mhmproperties.com

605 S. Fifth, C. Fall 2009 5th and Green location Outdoor activity area. 1, 2 and 3 bedrooms available. Garage offstreet parking, laundry, and value pricing. $1500. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

705 W. Stoughton, U Fall 2009 3 bedroom apartment. Spacious living area. Communal balcony & great backyard. Plus a bar area in kitchen, dishwaser, washer/ dryer in each unit, value pricing from $250/person.

THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

Great Value 306-308-309 White, C August 2009. Furnished studios, 1, 2, and 3 bedrooms. Balconies, patios, laundry, dishwashers, off-street parking. Value pricing. 841-1996 9 Month Leases Available THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

100 Best!

101 E. Daniel - 1, 2 BD 808 S. Oak - 2, 3, 4 BD 805 S. Locust - 2, 4 BD 203 S. Fourth - 1, 4 BD 205 S. Sixth - 3 BD 605 E. Clark - 1 BD 101 S. Busey - 1 BD 102 S. Lincoln - 2, 4 BD Featuring: Washer/Dryer Free internet, Bi-level, Dishwaher AC, Balconies, Jacuzzi, Big TV, Cathedral Ceiling www.mhmproperties.com 337-8852

Furnished

420 APARTMENTS

HEALEY COURT APARTMENTS 307-309 Healey Court, C Fall 2009. Behind FU Bar. 2 bedrooms. Parking, laundry, and value pricing. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

John Street Apartments 58 E. John, C August 2009 and January. Studio, two and three bedrooms, fully furnished. Dishwashers, center courtyard, on-site laundry, central air, parking, and value pricing.

THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

602 E. Stoughton, C Fall 2009. Unique 1 & 2 bedroom apartments. All furnished, laundry, internet, value pricing and parking available. Must see!

THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

106 Daniel, C. For August 2009. 1, 2, 4 bedroom apartments and townhouses. Parking, laundry, value pricing. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

504 E. White (5th and White)

Studio Apts

• August leasing • Laundry nearby • Most utilities included

ROLAND REALTY 351-8900 www.roland-realty.com

Furnished

420 APARTMENTS

1107 S. 4TH, C. For August 2009. 4 and 5 bedroom lofts. Best location. Completely furnished. Laundry, parking garage, elevator, flat screen TV. $1650/mo.

Phone 352-3182. Office at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com

1005 S. Second, C. Fall 2009 Studio Secured building. Private parking, Laundry on-site. Value pricing from $375. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

1006 S. 3rd, C. Fall 2009 1, 2, 3 bedrooms.

Location, Location. Large Tri-Level and Vaulted Ceiling, Covered parking, laundry, furnished, patios. Value pricing. $1590. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

104 E. Armory, C. Fall 2009. Location!! 4 bedroom, 2 bath. Covered Parking. Laundry, value pricing from $375/person. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

Old Town Champaign 510 S. Elm, C Available Fall 2009 and January. 2 BR close to campus, hardwood floors, laundry, W/D, central air/heat, off-street parking, 24 hr. maintenance. Value pricing from $595/mo.

841-1996.

THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

Furnished

420

503-505-508 E. White, C Fall 2009. 2 and 3 bedrooms. Furnished with internet. Parking and laundry available, new kitchens, value pricing. On-site resident manager. Call Justin 359-7297.

THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

506 E. Stoughton, C. For August 2009. Extra large efficiency apartments. Security building entry, complete furniture, laundry, off-street parking, value pricing. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

509 Bash Court, C. Fall 2009 Great 3 and 5 bedrooms, near 6th and Green. Fully furnished, dishwashers, laundry, and value pricing.

Off-street parking. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

509 E. White, C. August 2009. Large Studio and 1 bedrooms. Security entry, balconies, patios, furnished. Laundry, offstreet parking, value pricing. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 217-352-3182

509 Stoughton, C Fall 2009 Near Grainger, spacious studios and 2 bedrooms, laundry, value pricing, parking.

THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

2 BEDROOMS Many Utilities Included!

Great units near the POOL at: •903 S. First St. •33 E. Chalmers St. •56/58 E. Daniel St. Come between classes!

No appointment necessary

Roland Realty- 217-351-8900 www.roland-realty.com

903 W. Oregon (Oregon and Lincoln)

2 bedroom apts

• Free Internet • 3 blocks from Quad • Near new shops and resturants

ROLAND REALTY 351-8900 www.roland-realty.com 207 E. Green (2nd and Green)

4 bedroom apts • Free Internet • 1 ½ baths • 3 story townhouses

ROLAND REALTY 351-8900 www.roland-realty.com 805-807-809 S. First (1st and Daniel)

1 bedroom apts

• On 22 bus line • Near Roland Pool • Most utilities included

ROLAND REALTY 351-8900 www.roland-realty.com come and get it

www.the217.com

Not sleeping well?

Place classified ads and shout outs online anytime. Classifieds at dailyillini.com Campus Houses 803 S. First- 8- 9 BD 803 S. Locust- 7 BD 308 -1/2 W. William- 4 BD 407 E. White- 6 BD 407 -1/2 E. White- 6 BD 409 E. White- 6 BD 303 S. Fifth- 5 BD 9 Month Lease Available www.mhmproperties.com 337-8852

ROOMMATE WANTED 550

Female Roommate Wanted W/D in unit. $340/mo. Urbana. ms234567@yahoo.com

Guitar and Bass lessons available.

Call CV Lloyde Music Center. 3527031 cvlloyde.com

ADOPTION 750

Adoption & Egg Donation

850

ADOPTION We're STACEY & STEVE, happily married 11 years, financially secure & ready to build our family through adoption. We'll provide tons of love, laughter & our 5 year old son is excited to be a "big brother". To learn more or meet, call 773-509-0099 or 800-509-0097.

36¢/word (prepaid) for each issue.

CLASSES

3

512 E. Green St. Champaign, IL 61820

3 Print Your Ad Here

LIVING QUARTERS: Advertisers for all types of living quarters listed in The Daily Illini agree they will not include as qualifying consideration, in deciding whether or not to rent or sell to an individual, his or her race, age, color, religion, or national origin. It is unlawful to discriminate against children in a housing transaction.

Mail or bring this form to: The Daily Illini

before the desired start date. The Daily Illini is published Monday through Friday when the U of I is in session.

Deadlines: The deadline for DI Classifieds is 2pm one working day

Print Text Here: ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________

510

10 words 5 days, $10 20 words 5 days, $20

10 Bedroom Fifth & University 5 1/2 Baths, 3 Kitchens 3 Living Rooms FREE PARKING Full Basement Rec-Room www.zhengrentals.com 841-5407

Action ads are non-refundable and available only for ads in Services, Merchandise & Transportation categories.

HOUSES FOR RENT

430

Line ads are unbordered ads in the classified section. For more information on placing your line ad in The Daily Illini as well as buzz, or for display advertising rates, please give us a call at 337-8337.

Unfurnished

P Action Ad

420 APARTMENTS

or

Furnished

P Line Ad

420 APARTMENTS

2 Add Some Artwork

Furnished

1 Choose Your Ad Type

420 APARTMENTS

Start Date _____________________ Name _____________________________ Phone ___________________ Address ____________________________________________________ City __________________________ State ____ Zip _______________

Furnished

Classified Order Form

420 APARTMENTS

Choose from the options below and write your classified ad. Be sure to give us complete information, and mail or bring this fom to us with your check, made payable to The Daily Illini. Then sit back and wait for the results!

Furnished

Calculate Your Total: Number of words _____ x 36¢ + art (50¢) ______ x number of days to run ____ = (YOUR TOTAL) _______

APARTMENTS

Details:

buzz classifieds 17

DEC 11 – DEC 17 08

18††art††buzz

Reinventing a Wintry Institution

E v e n t s i n Ve r s e

KCPA’s Nutcracker Thrills

†°¢

by Liza Booker

†°¢

The season has finally come for celebrating the holidays and spending time with your family and friends. The weather has become quite chilly, but then there’s nothing like hot chocolate, gifts and The Nutcracker. Performed at Krannert Center for the Performing Arts, this whimsical ballet, written

by Peter Ilyich Tchaikovsky, features a majestic look created by the Champaign-Urbana Ballet and Sinfonia da Camera. The stage is full of color and captures your attention immediately. In addition, some animation is involved in the performance.

Mixed with Tchaikovsky’s familiar and enchanting music, the stage design creates a composition of holiday excitement.

The ballet dancers are very talented, doing a variation of difficult leaps and twirls that require some serious skill. They mesmerize the audience with their eccentric costumes and chemistry with the stage. The dancers are of all sorts of ages, ranging from the very young to adult, and also of different races. This performance embraces the age and cultural differences in a way where everyone can relate to the performance.

Scenes transition in a way that leaves you anticipating more. As dancers move across the stage, the audience could not help but applaud. The story of The Nutcracker provides

What opportunities are left?

by Erik Johnson

°

I heard that manufacturing Is going out of style The jobless can start pasturing In federal fields for miles

° I know a better plan by far Used with permission from Krannert Center for the Performing Arts

a heartwarming feeling and tons of cheer. The mood of the performance is joyful and creates a feeling of togetherness that everyone can feel in the audience. Throughout the performance, the dancers give the idea that they enjoy entertaining the crowd, gaining respect from the audience as they calmly perform with smiles.

From the moment it begins until it ends, you can’t help but enjoy the performance. As you recognize the music that you may have first heard in your childhood, you will be reminded of all the joys of Christmas and what it feels like to dream. This performance, being in its sixth year at Krannert, never fails to entertain.

To feed a hungry mouth Become an online college star ’Fore they foreclose your house

Reading Day = Party Night GI<J<EKJ K?< *I; 8EEL8C

() 9\\ij

Das Rock!

Your weekly destination for jackassery, tom foolery, damn fool boobery. Turn us in and weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll freak you out.

European voices and the best in live rock getting you ready for the bars.

9pmâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;10pm

of Christmas

11pmâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;12am

PGU Power Hour

)' ^\kj pfl X + fq% jXdgc`e^ f] () [`]]\i\ek Y\\ij n_`Z_ j_Xi\ X le`hl\ _fc`[Xp k_\d\%

60 minutes=60 songs.

1 minute each. When you hear a new song, you know what to do.

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buzz 19

D O I N ’ I T W E L L by Kim Rice & Ross Wantland

C’mon Baby, Give Me a Smile Revisiting sexual harassment We’re all probably familiar with sexual harassment as it relates to the workplace and school. In the workplace and school, the law requires employers (educators) to protect their employees (students) from sexual harassment.

In a social setting, however, it’s sometimes hard to know how to react to harassment. Also, getting support from others can sometimes be challenging. This week, “DIW” decided to revisit the ever-complicated nature of sexual harassment.

That’s Not What I Meant Some people simply do not know what constitutes harassing behavior or how or why some comments make others feel uncomfortable. Examples of harassment include wolf whistles, leering, invading a person’s personal space (standing too close, rubbing against them), pulling on clothing (flipping up a skirt, tugging on a blouse), touching a breast, crotch or butt, exposing yourself to someone, inappropriate gifts (lingerie), displaying sexually explicit materials or making derogatory or sexual comments about someone (including jokes). When these behaviors are unwanted or inappropriate, it’s harassment.

It’s Just a Joke It can be hard to understand why these behaviors might make someone feel uncomfortable.

Consistently we hear, “You can’t say anything anymore without offending someone,” or “Sometimes a joke is just a joke, and that’s all.” On the other hand, it isn’t rocket science to recognize when someone is uncomfortable and to use these and other behaviors to intimidate someone in the name of “flirting.” When someone sexually harasses another person, he or she ignores the other person, his or her humanity and his or her right to go out without being harassed. And all these “little jokes” add up over time and create and sustain a culture in which it is then permissible for people to treat others, especially women, however they want, including more increased forms of violence like physical and sexual assault.

Social Context Because of policies that exist against harassment in the workplace and school, it can be more surprising to experience harassment in a social setting, where it’s still permitted and no clear policies exist to hold harassers accountable. Because of this, it’s up to all of us to ensure that we consistently work to eradicate harassment from our daily lives and the lives of women we care about.

Recently, Kim was at a bar with a friend when a man grabbed her friend’s ass. Her friend told the man to get the f*ck away from her and that he was lucky she didn’t call the police. The man’s response? “Can I buy you a drink?” After he

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continued harassing her, Kim’s friend threw a drink at him, got the attention of the bartender, explained the situation and the man was thrown out. The women were actually surprised and impressed that the bartender had their backs (the harasser probably was, too).

When Kim and her friend discussed this situation, they didn’t see many choices. They decided that calling the police didn’t feel viable and punching the guy in the face would undoubtedly get the women kicked out. They also considered leaving, but that felt like their punishment for his actions. This experience led to an interesting social experiment. Kim’s friend told several people at the bar that the man had grabbed her. Most people just shrugged it off.

When harassment occurs, many people may see it as something they don’t have control over.

Both men and women may see the behavior as something that should be “expected” in social settings. The harassment itself sometimes highlights how the harassers feel sure that nothing will be done about their behavior.

They may know, on some level, they can get away with it. But interestingly, many people are uncomfortable when this happens, though they may not feel like they would have a group’s support to challenge it.

Harassment Is Not Flirting Sometimes people hide behind “I was just flirting; lighten up.” Flirting is definitely fun and exciting, but it’s also a two-way street. Flirting is not using power or position over someone to get him or her to give a response you want.

Flirting does not use intimidation; it’s a mutual expression of interest in interacting.

We all need to work together to hold harassers accountable and to stand up — instead of standing by — when harassment takes place.

It can be difficult to know what to do, but numbers help! We should expect, rather than be surprised, that harassing behaviors won’t be tolerated. If more people band together to send a message like the bartender did of “not in my bar” or “not in my town,” we can ensure that our communities are safe and comfortable for all their citizens.

Check us out next week as we take a long look at penis envy.

Sex 411: Langelan, M. Back Off! How to Confront and Stop Sexual Harassment and Harassers

Kim and Ross want to hear from you! Send them your questions or comments at buzzdoinitwell@yahoo.com

This is the last semester The Doors light show will be seen at the Staerkel Planetarium.

See it before it’s gone!

P A R K L A N D C O L L E G E w w w. p a r k l a n d . e d u / p l a n e t a r i u m

We appreciate you. The following businesses are offering promotions on December 11-12 in honor of University of Illinois.

Simply show your I-Card!

A Tip of the Hat - 202 E. Green St.

10% off everything in the store, 15% off your purchase of $35 or more.

BodiBronze/Electric Beach - 313 E. Green St.

Buy one get one half off customized airbrushing, one week unlimited tanning, $10.

Coldstone Creamery - 505 E. Green St. $2 off any purchase over $4.

Custom Cuts - 401 E. Green St.

20% off all color services, 25% off all product and tools.

Free trial size products - no purchase necessary while supplies last.

Fat Sandwich Co. - 502 E. John St. Free fries and a fountain drink with the purchase of any sandwich.

Follett’s - 627 S. Wright St.

20% off all Illini apparel and gifts.

Gameday Spirit - 519 E. Green St.

30% off any regular priced item in the store - offer only good at above location.

Illini Apple Center - 512 E. Green St.

$10 off iPods*, 50% off iPod case with purchase. *While supplies last, no iPod shuffles.

Legend’s - 522 E. Green St.

$4.99 Legend’s burger and fries with soft drink.

Murphy’s Pub - 604 E. Green St.

Free fresh cut french fries with any sandwich, not including the daily special.

Smoothie King - 616 E. Green St.

$1 off sm. smoothie, $2 off med., $3 off lg., 20% off all retail, 30% off any Smoothie King branded retail

TIS Bookstore - 707 S. Sixth St.

25% off Illini apparel and gifts - not valid with any other offer.

TravelCUTS - 616 E. Green St.

Enter the “Change your Latitude” promo for your chance to win a trip for two to Cairns.

White Horse Inn - 112 1/2 E. Green St.

20% off all food purchases from 11 a.m. - 10 p.m.

This event has been made possible by the Campustown Business Group and the Champaign County Chamber of Commerce.

DEC 11 – DEC 17 08

20 buzz

Free Will Astrology ARIES

March 21-April 19

It’s an ideal time for you to throw a party for all the people you’ve ever been and all the different selves who live within you now. Invite the teenager who once seethed with frustrated potential and the four-year-old who loved nothing more than to play. Include the hopeful complainer who stands in the shadows and dares you to ask for more, as well as the brave hero who comes out every now and then to attempt seemingly impossible feats of happiness. Don’t forget any of the various personalities who have contributed to making you who you are. Celebrate your internal diversity. Marvel at how good you are at changing.

TAURUS

April 20-May 20

Novelists and actors make a living by using their imaginations to create fictional stories. In recent years there has emerged a new group of workers whose pretending skills also earn them money. They make imaginary weapons, armor, potions, and other computer-generated gear to sell to people who play online role-playing games like World of Warcraft. I bring this to your attention, Taurus, because you’re in a favorable phase to put your imagination to work in practical ways that increase your prosperity and security. As soon as you’re finished reading this horoscope, start brainstorming about specific things you could do to convert fantasies into real-world wealth.

GEMINI

May 21-June 20

I’m pleased to be able to offer you a Zen riddle that will prepare you well for the immediate future. Study it, meditate on it, and refer back to it often when dealing with upcoming challenges. Question: What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? Answer: nothing.

Chimneys can’t talk. I don’t want to explain all the nuances of this helpful conundrum, Gemini, because it’ll serve you better if you come to your own conclusions.

But I’ll get you started with this hint: Be vigilant for trick questions, and don’t let those trick questions frame the debates you engage in. Do you know what red herrings and straw men are? Don’t get distracted by them.

CANCER

June 21-July 22

I’ve got three related questions for you, Cancerian. 1.

Are there any roles you play in which your selfish and unselfish tendencies overlap? 2. What situations allow you to be most completely yourself as you provide a fine service to others? 3. Which of your skills generate the most blessings and gifts? The next 12 months will be a favorable time for you to identify these roles, situations, and skills, and cultivate them to the max. You’ll have prime opportunities to express your special genius while doing good deeds.

LEO

July 23-Aug. 22

What country has more sand than any other? With its vast deserts, Saudi Arabia has got to be near the top of the list. Nevertheless, the Saudi government forbids the export of sand, worrying that it might eventually run out due to its construction industry’s demands for the stuff.

This irrational fear reminds me of you, Leo. You, too, have a certain bountiful resource that will never be depleted -- and yet you’re chronically worried that it will. Please adjust your thinking. It’s an excellent time to get more realistic about the true nature of your abundance.

VIRGO

Aug. 23-Sept. 22

After meditating on how best to energize your love life, I decided to direct you to this passage from John Welwood’s book Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships: Healing the Wound of the Heart: “Everyone knows perfect love in their heart, for the human heart is a direct channel through which absolute love pours into this world. At the same time, human relationships are imperfect expressions of that love. This creates a painful gap between the perfect love we know in our hearts and the imperfect, incomplete ways it is expressed in our relationships.

When we imagine that relative human love should be something it is not -- absolutely unconditional -- we suffer disappointment and wind up distrusting love itself.

We also hold grievances against others for not loving us rightly or against ourselves for not having won that love.

This gives rise to a universal human wound -- the sense of not feeling loved for who we are.”

LIBRA dec 11 – dec 17 08

Sept. 23-Oct. 22

j o n e s i n ’

dec 11–dec 17

“I was walking down the street agonizing over what to do about a particularly troublesome person in my life,” writes Tai Moses in her blog a e ro p h a n t .co m ) , “when I saw a playing card laying facedown on the sidewalk. I turned it over.” It was a joker. Her thoughts immediately turned to the words of the philosopher Alan Watts: “When you get the message, hang up the phone.”

I hope you’ll be inspired by Moses’ experience, Libra. For now, the best approach to take with your knotty dilemmas is to welcome them as wild cards and X-factors that will bring you interesting experiences and valuable lessons -- and just stop worrying about them.

SCORPIO

Oct. 23-Nov. 21

SAGITTARIUS

Nov. 22-Dec. 21

CAPRICORN

Dec. 22-Jan. 19

by Matt Jones

“Circular Logic”--we keep going around and around.

In one episode of the TV show “Seinfeld,” Elaine couldn’t get her favorite Chinese restaurant to deliver take-out food to her apartment. The manager said her neighborhood was just beyond the boundary of where his drivers were authorized to travel. But Elaine was determined.

She went over to the apartment building across the street, which was within the restaurant’s delivery zone, and set up an alternate home for herself in a janitor’s closet. I suggest you adopt a similar strategy, Scorpio. If you can’t get what you want in the place where you are, shift your location.

There are 300,000 surveillance cameras set up all over the city of Beijing, spying constantly on its citizens. London, a supposed bastion of democracy, has 500,000 such cameras. I highly recommend you don’t visit either place in the coming weeks, Sagittarius. It’s crucial for you to avoid influences that make you feel self-conscious or guilty. You’ve got to hang out in spots where you’re not being watched, scrutinized, and evaluated. While you’re at it, you might also want to tell your Inner Critic to shut the hell up. You need wide-open, judgment-free spaces, both without and within.

In California’s recent election, citizens voted to liberate poultry. Proposition 2 passed, mandating that from now on farmers cannot confine chickens in cages where they’re unable to spread their wings. Meanwhile, in the same election, voters decided to make it illegal for gay people to be married, a right that had previously been granted by the California Supreme Court. How odd is it that chickens got a measure of freedom while gays had one of their precious freedoms cut away? I’m warning you to be wary of a metaphorically similar scenario looming in your personal life, Capricorn: in which one liberty is upgraded while another is sacrificed. Fight to make sure there’s no net loss.

AQUARIUS

Jan. 20-Feb. 18

Would you like to consistently be in the right place at the right time in the coming weeks? Personally, I’d love you to have that knack. It would make my job more enjoyable, since I could fall asleep each night with the comforting thought that you are meeting your dates with destiny while you’re at the height of your powers. So what IS the best way to ensure that you will have impeccable intuition and a great sense of timing? Here’s what I say: Set aside all expectations about what the past implies and what the future may bring. Instead, cultivate a desire to recognize and respond to the raw truth of each new moment.

PISCES

Feb. 19-March 20

There’s a new elective surgery that makes it impossible to ever blush again. It’s an expensive procedure that involves boring a hole in your armpit and cutting the nerve endings that are responsible. I wouldn’t recommend it for you, even though you’re entering a phase when you’ll be more prone than usual to blushing. Why? Because, according to my projections, your main reason for blushing in the coming days will be due to receiving sudden, unexpected, or long-withheld praise. I believe it’ll be a time when you’re acknowledged for the good things you do. Blush away!

Homework

Before bed on the next five nights, remember everything that happened during the day. Do it with compassion and objectivity. Report results to FreeWillAstrology.com.

Solution in Classifieds.

Across

1 He played the grandfather in “Little Miss Sunshine” 10 ___ avis (unusual species) 14 One who doesn’t mind feeling the pinch 15 Planet inhabitants?

16 Mark Morrison R&B hit of 1997 18 Cube in a container of pork and beans 19 ___ amis 20 “Un momento, ___ favor” 21 Had more than a feeling 23 Herb used in Mexican cuisine 28 Home of d’Artagnan in “The Three Musketeers” 32 Qatari ruler 33 Breakfast mishap 36 Mazda Raceway Laguna ___ (Monterey racetrack in operation since 1957) 37 Genetic messenger material 38 “The Pillars of the Earth” novelist Ken 40 “___ blu dipinto di blu” (“Volare” alternate title) 41 “___ not have sexual relations with that woman” 43 Bucket at the theater 45 “Don’t ___ me, bro!” (2007 catchphrase) 46 Sean Preston’s mother 47 February birthstone 49 Use as a quote 53 Yahoo’s Jerry Yang, until late 2008 54 Dorm supervisors, for short 57 Public regard 58 Movies like “Star Wars,” e.g.

64 Fix some paragraphs 65 TV title sung after “Ain’t we lucky we got ‘em” 66 Food bank containers 67 Youthful status

Down

1 “That deaf, dumb and blind kid sure plays ___ pinball!” (“Tommy” lyric) 2 It may be ordered with extra foam 3 Sch. that’s home to the Sun Devils 4 “Cheers” exclamation

5 Spotty problem 6 Greek letters that look like P’s 7 Zapp Brannigan’s assistant, on “Futurama” 8 “Was ___ das?”

9 Degree in math?

10 “Sheena Is a Punk Rocker” band, with “the” 11 Rented pad 12 DVR remote button 13 Pose a question 16 John-John’s uncle 17 Smog watchers: abbr.

22 Chicago-based cable superstation 23 Fuel mining site 24 Bee or beetle, e.g.

25 Bulwer-___ Fiction Contest (yearly contest involving deliberately awful opening sentences to novels) 26 Sch. with a Houston campus 27 Dental hygiene brand 29 Grp. that oversees liquor and Lugers 30 Visit 31 Fireworks attraction, perhaps 33 Water filter brand name 34 Free up a river’s flow, maybe 35 Go wild 39 Three, in Torino 42 Picks up on 44 “The city that never sleeps,” for short 48 Tilling tool 50 Like some verbs: abbr.

51 See 62-down 52 Pre-album samplers: abbr.

54 Foxx who played Sanford 55 Blue chip, perhaps 56 Make Kool-Aid 58 Triple ___ (liqueur variety) 59 BlackBerry, e.g.

60 Insurance worker: abbr.

61 Anonymous surname 62 With 51-down, burlesque dancer and Marilyn Manson ex Dita 63 John’s “Pulp Fiction” costar come and get it

buzz 21

Random Shit Box: “not again.” a photo essay by isaac bloom

“Not again!!!”

“Not again!!!”

“Not again!!!”

“Not again!!!”

DURING FINALS WEEK SUNDAY, DECEMBER 14 – FRIDAY, DECEMBER 19 ILLINI UNION REC ROOM • ALL DAY! Pick your price: I get distracted while bowling ($2.60/game/person*) – OR – I came here to BOWL! ($16/hour/lane*)

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dec 11 – dec 17 08

22 buzz

a n d a n ot h e r t h i n g

...

by Michael Coulter

Searching for Something?

This year’s top online searches I really enjoy this time of year. Yeah, yeah, Christmas, family, shopping, snow, that’s all great, but what I really enjoy is all the year-end lists that come out. I’ll be honest, it’s mostly because I do this little column every week, and things like that give me plenty of stuff to make fun of. Every so often, though, the list is actually interesting, too. Since I feel like I’m constantly looking up things on the Internet, AOL’s year-end list of the hot searches for 2008 really made me happy. I get to learn and mock at the same time.

I was a little surprised by the general search category. I just assumed it would have something to do with pornography. I don’t know, maybe I hang around a bad crowd or something, or maybe AOL just didn’t include it because it was considered a given. Either way, the No. 1 searched topic was the dictionary.

That actually makes me feel a little better about us as a society, using technology to write and understand betterer. I suppose we could all use it a little more now that I think about it.

Weather was second on the list, so I was feeling even better about us using technology to help in our everyday lives. This notion was quickly shot down, as games was No. 3 on the list. All work and no play and all of that. Really, though, the only other kind of fun things in the top 10 were lyrics, movies and horoscopes.

The rest were somewhat useful things such as maps, universities, calendars and ZIP codes.

Under the “How To” section, the No. 1 search was how to tie a tie. I suppose that’s a pretty useful search, though I would imagine it’s a little trick to turn your body in such a way to complete the task. I truly hope it’s not the same group of simpletons logging on to the site every damned day. I usually just try to leave the knot in when I take the tie off so it’s ready to go for next time. As an added bonus, it fits wonderfully over a hanger when it’s done this way.

Writing a resume and how to draw came in second and third, just ahead of how to make money, which seemed kind of odd. If I could do a successful search on how to make money, I would never have to tie a tie or make a resume again.

Once I had plenty of money, then I might learn how to draw but only for a hobby.

dec 11 – dec 17 08

Las Vegas led the domestic travel searches, which makes complete sense. People love to lose money. The next two on the list seemed odd though: Myrtle Beach and Chicago. I’ve been to both places, and they’re fine, but I can’t imagine a crapload of folks wanting to make their way there. Under international travel, Dubai was the top search. Once again, Iraq did not make the list.

I hate to be critical, but their tourism department really leaves something to be desired.

The top events category was a little sad to me.

Fourth of July and Mother’s Day were high on the list, which is nice, but toward the end, I began to sob just a little. Hannah Montana concerts came in at No. 8, leading me to confirm what I came to learn in grade school: I don’t get little girls at all.

High School Musical shows were also very popular, coming in at No. 6. Apparently, the people doing the survey really don’t understand the distinct difference between an event and an annoyance.

Speaking of annoyances, The View was the top searched talk show, followed by Oprah. Maybe the Internet really is an evil tool. It could just be that talk shows sort of annoy me in general. Geez Louise, Tyra Banks, Montel Williams, Regis and Kelly, and Dr. Phil were all on there. I have no desire to see that shit the first time it’s on the air, let alone go back and watch some of the clips over again.

MapQuest was in the top spot for online resources.

Just about everyone I know prints out a map now before they go anywhere, assuming they don’t have one of those GPS systems. That’s all well and good, but I can’t help but feel bad for the old guys sitting outside the gas stations in small towns. I grew up in a small town, and let me tell you, some of those fellas live to give directions to lost strangers. Sadly, they no longer really serve a purpose other than loitering.

Sure, it’s just a little thing, but it’s still sort of sad.

Fine, now that I’ve looked over the list and the column is all written, it wasn’t nearly as interesting as I thought it might be. There were a couple of surprises, but for the most part, the Internet is becoming like television: We mostly use it to look at crap. In fact, I’m sure many people actually watch a ton of television programs on the Internet, which makes it seem even more annoying. We have this thing that can give us all the knowledge in the world, and we’re more concerned with playing grab-ass than learning anything. If nothing else, it’s a pretty good indicator that the Internet has now become a necessity.

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