43: DREAM

RAZZ University of Exeter’s Arts, Culture and Lifestyle Magazine

dream

Editor’s Notes We all have a choice when it comes to our dreams, both waking and sleeping, to take them seriously or not. Sometimes these decisions are quick and flippant, while other times they require more focused and consistent thought.

The freedom we have to dream up new and big ideas every day, to set goals and work towards realising them, is a freedom sadly not not enjoyed in all parts of the world. It can become easy to get swallowed up in the mundane, lost in deadlines and the constantly demanding here and now, but it’s good to pause and breathe, and take a step back every now and again, to put everything in perspective. To recall those childhood dreams you had when you were little, and turn them over carefully in your mind.

In this edition, writers and artists have reflected on dreams that have mattered to different people at different times across the world. A huge thank you goes to all our hardworking RAZZ members and committee who have generously spent so much of their time working on ‘Dream’, particularly our Deputy Editors, Em Hamblin and Elena Ingram Medina; our Copy Editors, Nathan Steward and Lucy Verdier; our Creative Directors, Dharma Austin and Phillipa Bailey; and our Assistant Creative Directors, Lillian Gibbs and Katie Matthews. Their regular energy and excitement makes it a joy to be part of RAZZ, and is evident in these pages.

Isabella Wartski, Print Editor-in-Chief and Co-President To ‘dream’ is to find purpose, to hope and aspire and use your imagination to seek out everything you want to be. From the solace of the sleeping hours to the ambition that drives us, we all ‘dream.’ I hope this edition helps you remember dreams you may have forgotten.

Elena Ingram Medina, Deputy Print Editor I’ve always been a dreamer, catching myself drifting off at the back of classrooms or staring out a car window. I always saw it as something negative, but actually allowing myself to indulge in that liminal dreamlike space and realise my ambitions allows my creativity to thrive.

Em Hamblin, Deputy Print Editor 2

‘Dream’ ranges from excitement and ambition to relaxation and switching off. I hope this edition displays different outlooks of dreaming and brings inspiration.

Thank you to my Co-Director Phillipa Bailey, Assistants Katie Matthews and Lillian Gibbs, and RAZZ member Marie Schultze for such amazing visions and ideas.

Dharma Austin, Creative Director “What do you dream about?” is a question that often reveals our state of mind.

Dreaming allows us to explore the world as possibilities, not confined to the physical. Pulling this edition together has been an exercise of dreaming; taking the articles everyone has so beautifully written and visualising them.

Phillipa Bailey, Creative Director

Contributors Amber Bragg Amelie Bidston Annie Doody Ciara Barton Dharma Austin Elena Ingram Medina Ella Burke Em Hamblin Finn Scott Isabella van der Putten Isabella Wartski Jessica Okelo Katie Matthews Kitty Carter Kornelia Wieczorek Lachlan Evans Laura Roveda Leite Lillian Gibbs

Lily Smith Lola Wilton Lottie Hemsley Lucy Facer Lucy Verdier Marie Schultze Mattie Gazzard Megan Thomas Mia Taylor-Seal Mila Pascolini Maytum Mirabelle Troughton Nathan Steward Phillipa Bailey Rosie Lynch Sadhbh Holden Sasha Edmunds Thea Marsh

Cover art, also for the last ‘Seek’ edition, by Sadhbh Holden

3

CONT 06

Question for the Culture

10

Fleetwood Mac: Dreams

11

Icons of Imagination

14

Interview with Art Society

16

Surrealist Dreamscape

18

Playlist: Soundtrack to a Dream

20

Living ‘The Dream’ at Uni

22

The Bill Douglas Cinema Museum

24

In Review: The Filmography of David Lynch

4

28

00

11 11

22

TENTS

0066

20

26

The American Political Dream

28

DREAM LookBook

30

Am I Dreaming? Experiences of Deja Vu

32

Society Spotlight: Rethinking

34

Poetry

36

Dreamy Products

38

Chasing Childhood Dreams

42

Flash Fiction

44

Dream Quiz

26

34 36

5

RAZZ Deputy Print Editor Em Hamblin investigates and evaluates the ‘trad wife’ trend on social media.

QUESTION

FOR THE

CULTURE

Dream wife, dream life? Since the conception of time, there has been a distinct notion that women must adhere to the roles of wife and mother. For some this is the dream lifestyle, as seen in the increase in the right-leaning social media presence of women adhering to these traditional gender roles, terming themselves ‘trad wives’.

6

THE DREAM WIFE These women take pride in caring for their husbands, children, and looking after their homes. These vignettes of intense domesticity have begun to encroach

on our everyday consumption of media, raising such questions as: is there such a thing as a ‘dream wife’? Is there value in this alternative lifestyle? Or is it all a capitalist, patriarchal lie?

The main aim of feminism has always been to allow women freedom, whether that freedom is to live independently and subvert the traditional patriarchal roles imposed on women, or the freedom to live the ‘traditional’

?

life and relish the ‘boundaries’ of marriage and motherhood.

Perhaps there is something Photography by Dharma Austin inherently radical in the notion of she makes ‘Flaming Hot becoming a trad Cheetos from scratch’ to save her husband wife. In a world from going to the that is increasingly store. It’s hard to see promoting a desire past the inherent sense to climb the of subservience in corporate ladder these acts, yet the act and live hyperof making your own independently, trad food undoubtedly is wives could be seen to sustainable, and be carving their own arguably anti-capitalist. path. One key feature Not only is their of TikTok trad-wifery is homesteading better the notion that these for the environment, women frequently but it also promotes a cook food and make healthier lifestyle things from scratch. that has a plethora of A quick TikTok search benefits in an ultrafor ‘Nara Smith’ leads processed world. me to a video where 7

questions for the culture However, it is hard to distinguish the class boundaries that are so inherent in funding the dream wife lifestyle.

Most of these women do not work – instead their husbands are often the breadwinners. But would a single stayat-home mother who doesn’t work, yet spends all her time providing for her children, be granted the same perspective? I don’t think that she would.

8

“There is a large disparity regarding how the act of not working is perceived across social classes” Many of these viral videos promote a sense of fetishised innocence that is eerily reminiscent of the serene, sedated housewives of the 1950s. There is no sign of crying children, messy living rooms, sleepless nights, or the emotional labour that is so often seen as entrenched in the roles of mother and wife. So – is it all a dream? Is it a backward step in feminism? The trad wife lifestyle, whilst ethically sustainable, is still predicated on a distinct class boundary perpetuated by largely unattainable capitalist values and desires. While it is hard to distinguish the trad-wife trend from its roots in the ultra-religious American far-right, this alternative lifestyle is the dream for some women – and who am I to judge?

Photography by Dharma Austin

There is a large disparity regarding how the act of not working is perceived across social classes. Most of these social media trad wives belong to a distinct leisure class who have the immense privilege to fund the traditional lifestyle, something that is not afforded to most mothers. However, one scene in the reality TV-Show ‘The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives’ shows the ‘wives’ all proudly declaring that they are the breadwinners in their family. But is this financial freedom a lie perpetuated by modern media?

What about the ‘normal’ trad wives who aren’t reliant on social media?

Artwork by Mia Taylor-Seal

9

Fleetwood Mac: “Dreams”

RAZZ writer Annie Doody delves into the personal lives and themes behind the well known Fleetwood Mac album, Rumours.

“Yet beneath its mellow, dreamy feel, the song is a product of intense emotional turmoil for the band...”

Amidst the chaos were Nicks and guitarist Lindsey Buckingham, who, after joining the band as a couple, ended their eight-year relationship during the recording of Rumours. Band members John and Christine McVie also began their divorce, while drummer Mick Fleetwood separated from his wife. The band was thrust into emotional fracture which ultimately became the creative force that inspired Rumours.

10

Lyrically, the song is replete with painful emotions from its opening, as Nicks reflects on her partner ’s desire for “freedom.” A sense of loss is woven throughout the song in both tone and words, as the band is forced to listen to their “loneliness.” Nicks captures the ache of a breakup, comparing it to a “heartbeat” – monotonous and constant – amplified by memories of what they once “had” and “lost.”

The band conveys the sting of heartbreak throughout Rumours, while testifying to the beauty that can emerge amidst fracture. In response to “Dreams,” Buckingham created the equally iconic “Go your own way,” sculpting a power ful dialogue between the tracks as listeners are exposed to both sides of the breakup. In its vulnerability, “Dreams” captures the complexities of love and loss, and the wisdom that can be gained from navigating them.

Illustrations by Katie Matthews

Fleetwood Mac’s only U.S. number one, “Dreams,” remains as iconic today as when it was released in 1977. After recently going viral on social media, the song has proved to be a timeless masterpiece. In a 2006 inter view with Blender magazine, lead vocalist Stevie Nicks revealed that “Dreams” took just “ten minutes” to write.

Blending a steady drum beat and understated bassline with delicate fingerpicking and layers of echoing, the song shapes a hypnotic soundscape, permeated

by Nicks’ haunting vocals. Yet beneath its mellow, dreamy feel, the song is a product of intense emotional turmoil for the band.

Icons of Imagination Three RAZZ writers share which icons have captured their imaginations and inspired creative ways of thinking about, reflecting on and documenting life.

Both Images: Flickr stratopaul

Starting his musical career in the late 1960s, David Bowie introduced himself to the world as an eccentric, nonconforming artist who challenged norms and invented a whole new approach to being a musician. At a time steeped in conservatism, Bowie took to the stage adorned in outlandish costumes and androgynous styles, turning traditional views upside down. With each album, he transformed himself by embodying characters like Ziggy Stardust – a genderfluid alien rockstar who wore platform boots, a striped jumpsuit, and flaming red hair.

Bowie’s personas didn’t just perform, they also resonated with people (especially those who felt like outsiders),

David Bowie Lola Wilton

inspiring others to embrace their creativity and individuality.

Bowie’s artistry didn’t end with his personas; musically, he journeyed from folk to glam rock and beyond, reinventing each genre as he went along and paving the way for countless artists.

He also transformed concerts into immersive experiences, blending music with theatricality, costumes, and set designs that brought audiences into his world. Lastly, coming out publicly at a time when homosexuality faced heavy stigma, Bowie’s life was a true testament to the power of living authentically, unapologetically, and courageously. He dared to dream wildly and dared us all to do the same.

11

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie Isabella van der Putten Image: Flickr Geoffrey Baker

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie is a perfect example of how imagination can fuel dreams and lead to real-world change.

Her journey began when she left medical school to pursue her dream of becoming a writer, knowing that storytelling was her true passion. Today, she is not only an acclaimed novelist but also a globally recognised feminist voice​.

In her TED Talk ‘We Should All Be Feminists,’ Adichie uses her imagination to challenge traditional ideas about

gender roles. She blends personal stories with broader reflections on society, offering a fresh feminist perspective.

Through her talk, she urges the audience to reimagine a world where girls and boys are free from restrictive gender expectations. Her ability to take personal experiences, like being denied the role of class monitor simply because she was a girl, and turn them into powerful reflections on gender inequality, showcases how imagination can create meaningful dialogue.

Adichie’s dream of becoming a writer didn’t stop at telling stories – it extended to become a mission to reshape how the world understands race, gender, and identity. By chasing her dreams and combining them with bold, imaginative thinking, she has achieved literary success and inspired a global movement towards equality.

“Adichie uses her imagination to challenge traditional ideas about gender roles.”

Illustrations by Phillipa Bailey

12

Image: Free Malaysia Today

Sylvia Plath Ella Burke When it came to chasing her dreams, Sylvia Path seemed to me to have had an unfathomable determination, that is, until I read her unabridged diaries. Beginning with a long summer in 1950, 18-year-old Plath writes of her ambitions to become a writer. She goes on to detail her studies of English Literature at Smith College and Cambridge University, from which she graduated in 1957. Her words are beautiful, witty and deeply moving as she spills her thoughts onto paper, of dates and parties,

“Her desperation in chasing her dreams was potent.”

her tormentous mental struggles, and gut-wrenching descriptions of girlhood which ring true for young women to this day.

One eye-opening takeaway from the journals was the many years Plath spent mailing her poems to The New Yorker magazine, patiently waiting for acceptance, only to receive countless rejections. Her desperation in chasing her dreams was potent, yet she never gave up, and her readers can celebrate in each accepted poem and story with her. The journals do not include the years in which The Bell Jar and her first poetry collections were published, but their lasting impact speaks volumes to her hard work and achievement in paving the way for confessional writing.

Image: Public.Works

by Cosmos

13

interviews with art society

An interview with

Art

Society

If you’re anything like me, art will

RAZZ Assistant Creative Director Katie Matthews chats all things arty with the President of Art Society, Ellie Rogers.

I went to The Tiny Tasting Room with the President of Art Society, Ellie Rogers. We discussed the beautifully relaxing, creative process of making art and its significance for students at the University of Exeter.

Art Society bridges this gap, providing a space for creatives to take themselves away and give their imaginations breathing room.

always be the one thing you want to do, but it has a peculiar habit of falling off the to do list. Creative spaces allow you to prioritise your wellbeing, to open your imaginative eye, and to find that dreamy time just for you.

Ellie shared how art seems to lie “in between the conscious and subconscious. Sometimes you’ll be painting for hours and feel so in the zone, you’re almost in a different state, a weird dreamlike state.” As life goes on, we become increasingly reliant on social media for our ideas. Ellie expressed how we become “less reliant on our imaginations because so many of us want to pull out our phones.”

“But to what extent am I minimising my imagination there?”

14

“It’s really easy to go along and have a nice chat with someone, maybe never see them again, but you can appreciate that that was a nice moment.”

Three times a week, Art Society have in-person

interviews with art society

Illustrations by Katie Matthews.

Images from Pexels.

two-hour sessions aimed at all abilities, for artists to come and express themselves.

used to your physical appearance, that there’s a sense of comfort and ease to model.”

There’s an “implicit level of accountability” in these sessions. “It’s a space with other people around doing art, that makes it encouraging to keep going.”

“Having children, walking, going on runs – using your body more, seeing more people – maybe gives you more of an appreciation for what your body can do.”

Societies like Art Society are so important in giving students a creative outlet away from their academic studies.

Art Society encourages a space solely for creativity. Away from social media, from dissertation writing, or childish remarks, the human form is celebrated and respected, and artists are encouraged to represent the imperfect reality of our bodies.

“It’s why people come to a studio, because they know that they can make a mess, and there’s inspiration from the art around you.”

Ellie and I chatted about our involvement in student media, considering how artistic expression differs from writing: “I also think there’s a more emotional attachment with art, it feels so personal, from the 20 hours you can spend doing one thing, and all the emotions that get poured into that artwork, in that dreamlike state where your mind is going everywhere. It does feel like a personal reflection of your mood.”

Every aspect of life is drizzled with artistic fragments. From the artwork scattered around the walls of a café, to how we present ourselves, to our writing and to our drawing.

Nothing can beat that feeling of pouring your soul into your work.

So, if you’re in need of that dreamy feeling of being immersed in your artwork, get yourself a membership. I just got mine, who knows what worlds I’ll dream up…

One of Art Society’s classes is life drawing.

“A lot of [the models] are older, some in their 50s. It’s so sweet, that you develop some sort of self-acceptance, even if your body isn’t conforming to the beauty standards as much, you’re so 15

Surrealist Dreamscape

Part one: Katie Mattthews

You didn’t know where you were, or how you got there, but you found yourself on the edge of town, in the station, waiting...

You heard the honk of a train and floated towards the door as it dinged open. You stepped on and heard its reverberating sounds, but as you looked up you realised you weren’t where you were before.

Wait, where were you before?

Part two: Elena Ingram Medina

You did not move, but the world was different now. At the edge of your vision bled the sky, dark red as blood freshly let.

It seemed to pulse, a desperate physical presence drawing nearer, curving around your eye-line to leave the world framed in blood.

You didn’t feel anything change, but there was a lake in front of you, as though it were there all along. Stretching everywhere, it flooded the whole world; you leant towards it, knees suddenly on the ground, and looked. It was a milky white, silky and clear, refracting light like new ice.

You stood in a field of daisies. Yellow daisies. Pink daisies. Thousands in every direction. The sun gleamed big and bulbous, shifting into a light bulb, then a bulb for planting, then a daffodil; its golden petal comforting on the cheek.

How intoxicating that yellowing blur Your hand started to move, without became to you. How important it was.

Every flower turned its head too, glowing thought, to touch the water. You leaned further, and it seemed to show an extra in its warmth. gloss, a silver film lying one layer above Then, without warning, the sun shrank the rest.

The water churned and lapped, to a mere prick. The daisies’ edges curled never still, as the sharp glitter of metal and fell to the ground which curved and gave no reflec tion of the sky above. rolled around you. It swallowed every Your hand moved further, and you could flower, every moment, every memory. of arms the in alread cradled y feel yourself tiring. Dipped under Then you were your mother. Looking up at her, the very the water, and the world went black for a time. Up and up came your palm, filled being who gave you life. with the water, and the sky seemed to She said only this: “It’s just a funny rise further and further away. The water dream, my darling, it’s not supposed to touched your lips, and – make sense.”

16

surrealist landscapes

an Part three: Nath You rolled

Steward

diamonds your on

tasted them

and ng to ue.

attention.”

“Pay

a a hardwood desk in You were sitting at beige kly sic re The walls we dentist’s reception. d an ve ali re children we and the toys for the cky sti in et fe ur g around yo mobilised, marchin plastic troupes. d from a bodied voice issue Your father’s disem paper e tapping against th pen, hovering and ation lic s an empty multip in front of you. It wa tiny windows. table gridded with “Get

on

with

it.”

ed and ich waxed and melt You held the pen wh ght it lm. Slowly, you brou reformed in your pa u were box on the sheet. Yo down into the first ndow. ised into the tiny wi squeezed and atom a vast a decaying leaf, into You fell gently, like and et fe ur from under yo hall. A carpet rolled lpit pu a e er d of the hall wh stretched to the en ing ak sh it, lp pillow at the pu stood. There was a er ch ea pr y se like an angr the corners of its ca at its itting from the tear – muffled noises em seam. ing to d then another, try You took a step, an rmon. er to the strange se bring yourself near ittlellow roared and sp You ran now. The pi its threads. flecked the ends of “Wake up!”

And you did.

Illustrations

by Katie Matthews

17

Music has the unique ability to transport us into other worlds, allowing us to forget life’s realities and escape into our dreams. It can take us back to a certain point in our lives, filling us with nostalgia and longing. This playlist brings together some of my favourite songs that help me to do just that. Packed with ethereal synths, soft orchestral sequences, and calming melodies, these tracks invite you to step into a world of dreaming and nostalgia.

1 2 3 18

“Venus As A Boy” by Björk Björk’s gentle melody pulls you into a world where love is seen through the softest, dreamiest lens, as she sings about a boy who finds beauty in everything, creating a love that is otherworldly.

4

“Limerence” by Yves Tumor This slow, melancholic track with synths reminiscent of the 80s, feels like drifting into a nostalgic dream.

The ambience it creates is almost haunting, while also being beautiful and emotional.

SO

RAZZ writer Lola Wilton shares which tunes have been circulating her playlists.

U

RA T D N

“Genesis” by Grimes Grimes’ ethereal, otherworldly style takes form in this song, transporting you into a futuristic, cyber-punk universe as she sings about a darker perspective of love.

“Only In My Dreams” by The Marías True to their signature style, The Marías create a lush, romantic vibe that feels like drifting off into a daydream.

Painting and illustrations by Dharma Austin

5

A

“Nangs” by Tame Impala Synths. Synths. And some more “The Flower Garden” by Joe Hisaishi synths. This wobbly, hypnotic song From the Studio Ghibli film Howl’s Movputs you in a daze, while repeating ing Castle, this song transports you into a universe filled with innocence, wonder, the haunting question, ‘But is there something more than that?’ to and magical creatures. Growing up on Studio Ghibli films, this song never fails to make you question what’s beyond enrapture me in nostalgia and a sense of the surface. enchantment.

“On Melancholy Hill” by Gorillaz A childhood favourite of mine, this song makes me dream of happy “La petite fille de la mer” by Vanmemories – dancing in the kitchen gelis with my dad as this song played With the melody of a childhood on the radio. Along with its nostalmusic box and an undercurrent of gic pull, it has this gentle, almost eerie synths, this song conjures a bittersweet vibe that makes me feel feeling of nostalgia and mystery. It young again and wrapped in the feels both familiar and unknown, comfort of the past. making it almost haunting to listen

6

CK

to.

TO A D RE A

7 8

Chamber of Reflection” by Mac DeMarco This song has remained at the top of my list for years, acting as a perfect escape that feels like stepping into a quiet space to reflect and let go. Its dreamy synths, sampled from Shigeo Sekito’s song “The World II,” create a soundscape that’s introspective and comforting.

9

10

M

“Une barque sur l’océan” by André Laplante As seen in the film Call Me By Your Name, this song sweeps you away to a romantic, dream-like escape, somewhere in Northern Italy. With its dramatic highs and soft lows, it captures the waves of emotions and longing that the film so beautifully portrays.

19

Living ‘The Dream’ RAZZ writer Amber Bragg shares the realities of the university lifestyle and gives her advice for maintaining balance.

Nobody is living the dream, I promise.

We are all guilty of it. Scrolling through TikTok, liking photos on Instagram, admiring the flawless perfection that someone has made their life look like. As the days get dimmer, it is so easy to fall into the trap of feeling lost and underwhelmed with how our university experience is going. This is only worsened when we are scrolling through our friends’ ‘life dumps,’ seeing them partying one day and dressing up for fancy meals the next. But what I can guarantee you as I go into my final winter as a third year, is that nobody’s dreamt out university life is going perfectly to plan.

There is a notorious taboo regarding university loneliness – something that we seem to all ignore. This perpetuates a belief that only we are experiencing the overshadowing feeling of being alone. I believe that it is vitally important to make you aware that everyone will feel lonely at some point in time during university. As individuals, loneliness can impact us all differently. For some, it sits solemnly at the back of our minds, an awareness of feeling slightly disconnected. For others, it 20

can hit in waves, leaving us with an overwhelming fear to try to fight before going to sleep. My reminder to you is that it’s not in our human instinct to move away from everything we’ve ever known at 19 years old, and feeling lonely at times is a natural consequence.

It may not be loneliness that puts you in angst, but the sheer uncertainty of what university and post-university life holds. Again, this is normal! I have certainly been fooled by a fair share of people who seem to have the next 20 years of their lives planned out, just waiting to press start. Nobody likes to admit they are unsure of themselves, so putting on a facade of confidence is probably more common than confidence itself.

But not living the dream doesn’t mean misery. Instead, finding peace and acceptance within the uncertainty and rockiness of university life will be the key to a happy, healthy lifestyle.

After two years of struggling to find a constantly fulfilling university lifestyle, I am finally getting the hang of it, so here are a few of my tips I want to share with you.

at Uni “Nobody’s dreamt out university life is going perfectly to plan.”

Romanticise the small things: It can sound silly and cliché, but practising gratitude by overappreciating things like your coffee on your way to campus, the dinner you had with your housemates, the run you did in the rain… can all help to boost your mood.

Go to the dreaded exercise class: It may be raining at 10am, but if you can force yourself to go on that run or rock up to that fitness class, your mood for the day will emulate positivity and become 10x better.

Going with a friend to force each other to go is always helpful.

BodySoc and DanceSoc, for example, run some great classes; often in the evenings too, if mornings are not your thing!

Build a routine – even on ‘lazy days’: Everyone will tell you that routine is key to your wellbeing, but sustaining routine on lazier days, or weekends, is often overlooked. Sometimes when I give myself all day to chill, by 5pm, I’m spiralling and having an existential crisis. Giving yourself the morning to chill, but having a plan for the evening (or vice versa), is a good way to prevent this – you can feel at peace knowing that you have done something with your day.

Photos and illustrations by Phillipa Bailey

21

RAZZ Print Editor-inChief/Co-President Isabella Wartski sits down with Dr Phil Wickham, Curator of the Bill Douglas Cinema Museum, and SarahJayne Ainsworth, Team Leader of the Special Collections, to discuss the impact of cinema, its future, and the opportunities for students to get involved.

Winding down the stairs of the Old Library, through many doors and corridors, I finally find myself at the offices of the Bill Douglas Cinema Museum, the leading museum of the moving image in the UK. I am warmly invited in by SarahJayne and Phil as we sit down to explore this unique, hidden treasure-trove.

Phil emphasises that the Museum is a people’s living history of moving images. The Museum attracts a wide range of visitors; from local elderly people to schoolchildren, there’s something here for everyone. It reflects an intergenerational interest in storytelling, from the imagining and reimagining of dreams, to their actual realisations. Phil tells me that, in the beginning, the cinema was referred to as ‘the dream palace’. It was a place of escapism where your cares could fly away as you entered another world, allowing audience members to be part of characters’ lives - removed from their own - and even imagine different futures for themselves.

22

When COVID-19 broke out, everyone’s lives became insular, Sarah-Jayne continues. Cinema is a shared, social experience because the audience sits together in this enveloping atmosphere,

A Visit TO The Bill Douglas Cinema

Museum.

with everyone perceiving and processing in different ways.

There is no clear definitive answer to the question of what a particular film’s message is.

Its subjectivity encourages discourse – and it’s okay to disagree.

Discussing the meaning of a film develops our ability to listen and communicate – to be open to opinions we don’t necessarily agree with and to learn from them. I see that disagreement is so often met

with instant affront in our schools, universities and internet culture, that it is made out to be indicative of hatred. Learning to be able to hear different opinions is vital for growth, and, ultimately, it is far more interesting and beneficial for us to try to understand what has made others think differently than we do.

I return to the subject of COVID-19 to see if there is hope for the future of cinema. The story of cinema is not a story of inevitable decline, it’s a story of disruption, Phil tells me.

Sarah-Jayne elaborates that cinema offers an escape from our modern culture of everything everywhere all at once. She describes the difference between the cinematic experience, and the experience of our easy homestreaming services, as being like the difference between listening to a live symphony orchestra and listening to lift music. While the next few years might still be a bit rocky for cinema, eventually, there will be a need to call for more creativity and cinema is already starting to step up to fill that need, such as could be seen in the Barbenheimer phenomena.

If there’s one thing Phil and SarahJayne are keen to impress upon me, it’s how much students are welcome to come here and make full use of this fantastic resource; students are really at the heart of everything the Museum does. Exeter Alumna and former RAZZ Deputy Print Editor Chloe Jarett-Bell was a volunteer, and then an intern at the Museum,

and a lot of students who have worked at the Museum now run their own museums. There is no other cinema collection as extensive or accessible in the UK, so my advice would be to get down there and make the most of it!

The Bill Douglas Cinema Museum cultivates a space of personal human history and memory, acknowledging the things that really matter to us.

Walking out through the Museum with Sarah-Jayne, I am transported along memory lane as I recall countless films from cinema trips - purely because of who I was with and how we talked together afterwards. As I walk out the doors, I know that I will be returning.

Chloe Jarett-Bell, former RAZZ Deputy Print Editor

Illustrations by Dharma Austin Images from www.bdcmuseum.org.uk/

23

An Adventure Through the Filmography of David Lynch RAZZ writer Lachlan Evans gives a rundown of the American filmmaker, David Lynch’s, often surrealistic films that span his extensive career.

There is no other human alive like David Lynch. An auteur whose style is so distinct it’s been given a name (Lynchian), he is known for his surgical precision in marrying sound and vision in a way that operates on the most razor-sharp tone edges. This mastery is so subtle, that it is not seen but felt. A David Lynch fan may find it troubling to describe exactly what makes his films feel Lynchian, opting for adjectives such as ‘dreamlike,’‘unnerving,’ or ‘surreal’ to convey a style which ultimately resists articulation. This is, in many ways, why Lynch has become so intertwined with the theme of dreams – often when recounting our dreams it can be hard to express why they made us feel a certain way, they simply did.

main character with ferocious intensity.

Lynch exploded onto the cinema scene in 1977 with Eraserhead, a familial story told through abstract surrealist filmmaking, set in a searinglymemorable industrial environment. It is utterly bemusing, yet it left audiences with that lingering, indescribable feeling; firmly positioning Lynch as a remarkable filmmaker. In 1980 came The Elephant Man. This Victorian period film starring Anthony Hopkins is based on the true story of a disfigured man navigating a society that treated him as a monster. It hits like an emotional freight train, making you care about the

The next entry in Lynch’s filmography is perhaps his most culturally influential.

His series Twin Peaks (1990-91) changed television forever because nothing like it had ever come before. It is drenched in an atmosphere of enrapturing aesthetics and tones. Like the fictional titular town, you feel you have entered a reality detached from the outside world.

You can almost smell the warm coffee, cherry pie, crisp foggy air and scent of Douglas Firs. Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me (1992) is perhaps Lynch’s magnum opus. A prequel film to the TV series, it displays a masterful command of sound

24

Illustrations by Lillian Gibbs

Then came the one caveat in an otherwise stellar career. In 1984, Lynch adapted Dune – infamous for bombing at the box office due to Lynch’s lack of creative control and laughably low-quality production. His next film was a make-or-break moment to win back the public, which it did. Starring Kyle MacLachlan, Blue Velvet (1986) is a finely-tuned masterpiece that feels like an archer balancing the tension of a bow throughout their entire body.

Lynch’s next film, starring Nicolas Cage and Laura Dern, was Wild at Heart.

This story of a turbulent relationship is electrifying; firing on all cylinders to epitomise the definition of ‘cinematic’.

and image, transcending the screen and becoming a sensory artefact, reaching the furthest outposts of the liminal unconscious.

Lost Highway (2008) is another confounding murder-mysterythriller, with some of my favourite sonic moments of Lynch’s filmography. The Straight Story (1999) is a stark departure; a Disney film with a seemingly straightforward story, yet Lynch cites this as his ‘most abstract film.’ In 2001 came Mulholland Drive, a critically-celebrated powerhouse considered a prime example of ‘Lynchian’.

It encapsulates his known enigmatic filmmaking, with an ominous amnesia-filled storyline set in dreamy, night-time Los Angeles. Lynch’s most recent feature film, Inland Empire (2006) is a maximalist titan of a film.

Shot on early, digital-camera technology, it has an extremely distinct visual style and a story that bends reality to a severe extent.

Finally, the most recent work in David Lynch’s filmography, Twin Peaks: The Return (2017) is a sequel set 25 years after the original series. It is a varied and frenzied series which dips into some of the most mesmerising creativity ever to grace the modern TV screen.

25

Has The American Dream’Gone Viral?

Image: Wikimedia Commons

RAZZ Online Editor-in-Chief/CoPresident Lily Smith examines the election-craze that has been going on in the US and why it’s all relevant to us in the UK. By the time you’re reading this, the results of the US election will be clear, revealing who will steer the world’s most influential democracy for the next four years. With every election this year, we’re witnessing a blurring of the lines between politics, social media, and pop-culture in ways that demand our attention here in the UK. What can students at Exeter learn from this? Why does the American political circus even matter to us?

26

This US election has been historic for many reasons such as, notably, Joe Biden’s decision to step down as President. Harris’ campaign has had to juggle the continuation of Biden’s legacy with a push towards more progressive stances, all while navigating an intense social media spotlight. In October, Harris made an appearance on the Call Her Daddy podcast to talk about reproductive rights. At this point, I think to myself,

have we jumped the shark? Has the ‘TikTokifcation’ of the election gone too far? It’s a shift that leaves serious policy discussions competing with viral moments and memes. So, what are the policies and problems we should be focusing on?

This is not a criticism of the Harris campaign, or of the podcast. But, Alex Cooper starts the podcast episode by stating it as not being an attempt to sway anyone’s political opinion.

This shows a lack of transparency as Harris is clearly trying to reach a youthful audience. This does not make the message she’s spreading about protecting women’s rights any less significant, but between Trump’s claims that democrats are ‘killing newborns,’1 and this attempt from Harris to live up to her persona as ‘America’s cool aunt’ 2 by appearing on a sex-and-relationship podcast – that has also hosted One Direction’s

Zayn Malik – the issue has become overwhelmingly unclear.

One element lost in the media is the economical implications of this election. Both candidates are offering re-shoring plans, bringing industry back to the US, and yet, neither candidate is making clear how. In fact, the only policies given by Harris and Trump are both major, inflationary executive orders which could cripple the economy as they enter a ratecutting cycle.3 Harris’ plan to increase corporate tax to 28% (above even the UK) would hit a US exposed company and drive industry away.

Amongst the trends and lip-syncs to TikTok soundbites, there are many questions left unanswered and a sense of uncertainty around the US’ current state.

Image: Wikimedia Commons

While we may be an ocean away, the US election still resonates in the UK, especially for students at Exeter. The evolution of political engagement via social media, as seen in this election, is something we’re experiencing here too.

Politics is changing. The way politicians engage with voters is shifting. But, with the rise of social media in politics, the potential for misinformation and manipulation grows. The viral moments, catchy soundbites, and memorable clips that dominate online often distract from deeper discussions on policy. We need to stay informed, critically evaluate what we see online, and resist the temptation to get swept up in the spectacle. Look past the personas, the memes, and the trends to understand what is really at stake. Whether it’s the US election or local elections here in the UK, knowledge is key to making informed decisions.

In the end, the US election isn’t just about America – it’s about how political engagement is evolving globally.

For students at Exeter, this election is a reminder that we are not just spectators. We have a voice, a vote, and a responsibility to be part of the change, whether it’s in the US or the UK. 1. Meg Tirrell. “The origins of Trump’s false claim that Democrats want to allow ‘execution’ of babies after birth.” CNN, September 2024.

2. “​​From SNL to Potential Potus: Maya Rudolph As Kamala Harris.” Dailymotion, uploaded by Deadline, September 2024.

3. Nicholas Jasinski. “Trump and Harris Plans Could Stoke Inflation. That Means a More Hawkish Fed.” Barron’s, November 2024.

Illustrations by Phillipa Bailey

27

Photography by Jessica Okelo

DREAM LookBook RAZZ writer Jessica Okelo looks back on how she has interacted with fashion, revisiting past stylistic expressions from childhood and finding new pieces to love.

“Playing dress up begins at age five and never truly ends.” – Kate Spade This quote resonates with me now more than ever, as I find myself going back to my wardrobe from when I was growing up, for fashion inspiration.

Before I was conscious of what was trendy, or aware of other’s 28

judgments, I used to have fun with my style and treat everyday like it was an occasion.

I always think about how bold my clothes were when I was younger. With the most important thing in my life being my favourite colour, my outfits just had to express this.

Any interests I had at

the time were easily identifiable as I wore them on my sleeve – and I love to see the revival of this in my friends now. Through the incorporation of meaningful pieces into their outfits, they manage to exert their individuality into the world in the most subtle of ways. And it’s these subtleties that make

how we present ourselves all the more magical, as we give away so much, but also nothing at all, if you don’t know the story behind an accessory.

The current obsession in my university house is Miffy. Why she’s suddenly trending again, I couldn’t tell you. But, my gut tells me that the nostalgic reminders of our childhood which we associate her with is what is keeping her in circulation. They do say part of maturing is coming back to your interests from when you were a kid.

The same could be said for the comfort of a knit jumper. A winter essential with such a homely feeling. Even if it wasn’t knitted by a relative or close friend, there’s just something about a knit jumper that feels personalised. It’s not like the mass produced top which we all own; it must be a classic for a reason There’s also something to be said about the era before fashion became digitalised. Self expression was the norm. Dare I say, eccentricism was as well? The simplicity of discovering new clothes in print instead of scrolling through the swarm of microtrends on social media. It’s no surprise we’re still nostalgic for the nineties.

So maybe we ought to ponder on all these little things that make our looks so timeless. As Yves Saint Laurent says, “Fashions fade, but style is eternal”.

29

AM I DREAMING? RAZZ writer Kornelia Wieczorek explores experiences of déjà vu onscreen, and what significance these moments might hold.

Have you ever walked into a room, had a conversation, or experienced a moment that felt strangely familiar, as if you’d lived it before? That eerie, split-second feeling where the present seems to echo the past is what we call déjà vu! The term is French, translating to “already seen,” and some believe déjà vu might be related to dreams or preconscious memories, which feel familiar when similar situations occur in real life. This psychological phenomenon appears in various films where the theme is explored and used to symbolise something greater.

Immediately, the first two films that popped into my mind were The Matrix (1999) and Before I Fall (2017).

I’ll try to showcase these with minimal spoilers for those interested in watching!

In The Matrix, the déjà vu theme plays a pivotal role in the film’s exploration of reality, perception, and control. In the film, Neo experiences déjà vu when he sees a black cat walk by, then sees the same black cat walk by again in the same way. He does not think much of it, as he casually remarks “Whoa.

Déjà vu,” to which the other characters react with alarm, explaining that in the Matrix, déjà vu occurs when there is a “glitch” – a sign that the machines have changed something within the artificial reality of the Matrix. In the film’s universe, déjà vu symbolises awareness of a fabricated world, emphasising the Matrix’s dream-like nature – an artificial construct where people unknowingly live in an illusion. While déjà vu is explicitly referenced in one scene, its broader thematic implications run throughout the entire narrative, touching on questions of free will, illusion, and the nature of existence.

Whereas, in Before I Fall, déjà vu serves as a vehicle for exploring 30

EXPERIENCES OF EXPERIEN DÉJÀ EXPERIENCES OF DÉJÀ VU. EXPERIENCES OF DÉJÀ VU. EXPERIENCES OFEXPERI DÉJÀ VU. DÉJÀ VU. DÉJ deeper philosophical and emotional issues like self-discovery, redemption, and the ripple effect of our actions – much like the introspective nature of dreams. This film follows a high school student, Samantha Kingston, reliving the day of her death repeatedly, giving her the chance to reflect on her actions and relationships. The repetitive nature of Samantha’s experiences creates a strong sense of déjà vu as she tries to alter the outcomes of her day, constantly faced with the same narrative unless she changes the course of it herself. However, unlike typical déjà vu, where a moment of familiarity is fleeting, Samantha’s experience is prolonged and unavoidable. Just imagine yourself in this situation: what would you do? Would you be more careless, considering you’re aware the narrative will simply repeat itself?

Or would you be more considerate, afraid the narrative you’re currently in might be the last?

Samantha’s story is one of personal growth, and her evolving awareness is a key function of the déjà vu theme in the film. It symbolises her gradual awakening and transformation, showing that we can break negative cycles and redefine our lives. The film raises the “what if?” question – much like dreams do.

EXPERIENCES O EXPERI DÉJÀ VU. DÉJ EXPERIENC DÉJÀ V

Although I have explored déjà vu in relation to dreams, it’s interesting to highlight that this phenomenon can also be linked to aspiration and ambition – in other words, “dreaming big!” When we are deeply focused on a goal, we often mentally rehearse scenarios or visualise success, which can feel like vivid daydreaming, creating a sense of mental déjà vu when we encounter real-life situations that resemble our dreams.

Illustrations by Lillian Gibbs

31

Society Spotlight: Interview with Rethinking Society What is Rethinking’s dream goal?

Rethinking is technically a political and philosophical discussion forum.

We focus on critical thinking and trying to get the community to share their opinions. We prioritise being an anti-political society, especially for those studying Politics and Philosophy, where you usually end up arguing a point you don’t necessarily agree with.

Our actual sessions feel more like a pub chat, rather than a seminar, where members can just discuss what they want. I’d say our priority is primarily critical thinking, but [what’s really important] is the community that we have around that, and just making a compassionate space where you can actually talk about your opinion and have people take it in good faith, which I feel like is so rare nowadays.

What kind of students do you attract?

Rethinking is very interdisciplinary; 32

we have a mix of everyone. It’s a lot of Politics and Philosophy students, but also friends that people bring along. Rethinking sort of gets spread by word of mouth; people bring their friends along, and that’s how it grows.

When you have a place that focuses on empathetic discussion, you do attract a certain type of person, and I think it’s people who are just always incredibly nice. People seem to be very happy to be there. [It’s] people who want to be involved in that sort of conversation, who are still interested in politics and philosophy, but maybe want a bit more of a calmer way to approach it than you often get.

What makes you different from other societies?

A lot of [societies] seem to focus quite a lot on very black and white, for and against, arguments; your identity is pretty set. I think there should be a space for that, but I think Rethinking is the only community where, firstly, you present your actual opinion, and

In what ways does Rethinking engage with the idea of dreams?

RAZZ Publicity Officer Ciara Barton catches up with Rethinking Society’s President, Ande McClintock, to find out more of what the society is all about.

When you concern yourself with political and philosophical ideas, what you are [usually] striving for is finding whatever that perfect thing is. [Often] when you’re doing critical thinking, you’re explaining why something isn’t working the way that it should be. So, when you’re explaining a negative, there must be a positive that you’re aiming to know [too].

I think so much of having good politics and philosophy is about asking, what do we want and what are the lives we want to lead? What are the dream societies we want to live in? The whole point [...] is to cultivate dreams and discuss what our ideal world would look like.

How do you connect the Rethinking community despite differences?

secondly, there’s a real sense of community outside of whatever your label is. I can’t think of the last time anyone was labelled as being too left-leaning or too right-leaning.

We focus more on the process of the conversation as opposed to having a winning side or argument.

We make sure our questions are very broad and able to be answered with a lot of different perspectives. There’s not ever going to be any questions that are incredibly divisive or going to make people uncomfortable.

Last series we had a big focus on stereotypical political discussions, like Rethinking ‘Freedom’ or Rethinking ‘Immigration’ and those have the biggest turnouts, but this year it seems that people want topics that are a bit more taboo or not [so] overtly political, [like] Rethinking ‘Parenting’.

There’s also an element of choice for our community to [pick] topics they would like to discuss.

Illustrations by Dharma Austin Images from Pexels

33

You will never remember the taste.Just the haze of a porcelain cup

Images: All Via Public.Work by Cosmos

Poetry Sipping at the Subconscious Nathan Steward You walk past rows of creamy stone canvassed in light and whispers: marbled rays kiss the glass and fragment and polish the tables – In their oaken mirror, one sees a daubed question.

How can you taste a dream?

Perhaps, a powdered memory, or a finely-ground fear, crushed and tamped and strained into black cream.

Does it require water?

For it to bloom – bitter, sharp, burning your throat.

Or perhaps a syrup, a candied thought, to sweeten the illusion.

You will never remember the taste.

Just the haze of a porcelain cup nestled in sand, steaming.

34

He, the Dream Kitty Carter The dream is quiet; he steals across dark cherry floorboards in her house she shifts in sleep: the dream slips, trips on her dying horse plaits unravelling the maroon crow screams, she wakes, the dream dies.

Illustrations by Phillipa Bailey

Dreams Amelie Bidston On distant shores, sleep, where Morpheus’s feet tread greyer sands than these, and jagged rocks frame jagged faces like memories long forgotten. When seas rise to meet us and people become places, and losing becomes finding when, further from myself, I find myself closer to you.

How we venture out on the same quest again and again. How we venture in vain.

Suffering silently in the unconscious that we might wake and consciously dream. Dream greater glories for these Icarus wings, ever enchanted by the blazing sun, rising in the East.

Falling West to the will of the ocean below, the undertow of darkness.

When restless night calls, sleep draws dreams on, a siren song, and you emerge dripping from the deep, a wake of water and regret, speaking the language of the stars.

Casting constellations from our bed into the dark.

Dream greater glories for these Icarus wings wings

35

DREAMY PRODUCTS Five RAZZ writers recommend their favourite products for helping them unwind to enjoy downtime.

Dr Jart Sleepair Intensive Repair Nightmask Finn Scott

Caudalie Instant Detox Mask

With a massively oversaturated market and influencers trying to sell us a thirteen step skincare routine – low effort, high reward skincare has become my goal. Going to bed with this night mask on and waking up to hydrated and healthy skin is a dream come true. The magical ingredient behind it is Centella asiatica, a popular herb borrowed from East Asian skincare that does it all. A soothing antioxidant that promotes wound healing, addresses inflammation and regenerates the skin barrier. All you have to do is put it on and get some sleep.

Face masks are often the first thought when it comes to relaxing skincare. But with so many on the market, which is the best to help de-stress? My go-to is Caudalie’s Instant Detox Mask. This clay mask requires only ten minutes to work its magic before drying into a dreamy baby pink colour. The subtle bergamot and lavender smell creates a calming feeling whilst the mask does all the work to remove excess oils and impurities. Arguably the most relaxing part is the lack of scrubbing needed to remove it – as someone with sensitive skin, this mask is a dream.

36 36

Lottie Hemsley

Elemis Pro-Collagen Cleansing Balm Mila Pascolini Maytum

Natrium Fermented Camellia Creamy Cleansing Oil

Nothing is worse than the feeling of makeup sinking into your skin throughout a day on campus. For those cosy nights in, the Elemis ProCollagen Cleansing Balm effortlessly melts away the day’s stress and dirt build-up. Its milky texture leaves my skin purified, delivering a “glass-skin” complexion every time. The infusion of chamomile and lavender adds that dreamy touch to your night-time routine which we all would benefit from before bed – and Molly Mae agrees! She even featured it on her “Molly Mae’s favourites” list on the Elemis website.

As the weather gets colder and the deadlines start piling up, my skin gets so dry and irritated. My favourite product to soothe my skin at the end of the day is the Natrium Fermented Camellia Creamy Cleansing Oil. The oil calms any irritation and cleans out any blocked pores. Its creamy texture allows me to massage it into my skin, removing any muscle tension, which is a great way to de-stress!

After emulsifying and rinsing, my skin feels clean and hydrated, add a little moisturiser, and my tired skin feels refreshed and ready for bed!

Thea Marsh

Palmer’s Cocoa Butter Balm Laura Roveda Leite

When skincare is mentioned, either by influencers or pharmacists, it’s most likely referencing one’s face. Being the most visible part of the body, it’s natural that we prioritise facial skincare. However, we can’t forget that the skin is the body’s largest organ and if we want to age gracefully, we definitely shouldn’t discard the other 94.5% of it.

Palmer’s cocoa-butter balm smells like childhood, leaving your skin baby smooth. It’s the unglamorous solution for the silky-soft finish you’ve always dreamed of. During cold winter nights when your elbows dry up and hands crackle, this cosy balm is your answer.

Illustrations by Dharma Austin Images from Rawpixel and Pexels

37

Three RAZZ writers give their stories of dreams deferred, adapted and realised.

The fact that career aspirations are what first come to mind when we talk about “childhood dreams” says a lot about how we define dreams and success. If you’d asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, the answer would have consistently been a creative pursuit. Writing was a common theme, although illustration and art persisted too.

There were times when practicalities got in the way, as they often do.

Ambition seems limitless in childhood but no one is immune to expectation and constraints. As I got older, craft projects started to be replaced by essays.

Drawing receded into a group of similarly abandoned hobbies, overtaken by studying and, admittedly, too much scrolling through social media. Still, I get the same glimmer of satisfaction from writing something now (like this article) as I always have.

In a sense, I’ve fulfilled many of the things I’d hoped for on a personal level, like meaningful relationships and living in a different city from the one I grew up in. All the changes and discarded milestones don’t feel like a loss, they’ve simply become a more refined dream carved out from the naive imaginings of my younger self.

Lucy Facer, Deputy Online Editor

Illustrations by Lillian Gibbs

38

When I was little, l wanted to be a ballet dancer. No matter how clichéd a childhood dream that was, I really believed that one day, if I tried hard enough, I could become one. I went to classes, watched professional ballets, and even had a ballet-themed bedroom. But, life got in the way. I was diagnosed with a bone condition and had to have surgery to fuse my spine together.

My childhood dream became pretty unreachable.

Starting university distracted me from my crushed dream and I became interested in something new: writing. I loved my degree and could see a proper future, doing what I loved. Once I recovered from surgery, I joined ballet classes at Exeter. Although I’ll never be able to attain my childhood aspiration, being able to dance for fun has healed my younger self. Slowly but surely I’ve been finding a new dream: writing for a living.

So, my advice is to enrich your university life by getting involved.

Use your time to live even just a tiny part of a dream – whether that’s a lifelong dream, or one only hours old. This is your time to chase your dreams and do what you love.

Rosie Lynch

In year three we were asked to dress up as our dream occupation.

The following day I arrived at school wearing an artist smock with paintbrushes jutting out of my messy hair. As a child I was a prolific artist, drawing or painting anything I saw, on anything I could get my hands on, so the idea that I could one day make this my living became my dream.

Naturally, I continued art through school. However, flitting between art, quadratic equations, coastal erosion and back to art, never really allowed me the time to immerse myself fully in creativity. This was only made worse by the rigid assessment structure of art exams – leaving me feeling uninspired and burnt out. By the end of school, I realised that turning my love of art into something with ‘economic prospects’ risked sacrificing everything I enjoyed about it: the freedom and catharsis.

Studying Art History at university has introduced me to a new theoretical approach, prompting me to ask questions about the artistic process and the nature of commercial art. I still paint and sketch for pleasure but have adjusted my dream; studying the tortured artist is infinitely preferable to being one.

Mirabelle Troughton

39

chasing childhood dreams

40

chasing childhood dreams

Illustrations by Lillian Gibbs

41

flash fiction

Creative Writing: Flash Fiction Mila Pascolini Maytum

I never expected him to go so soon. Death is something I knew existed, yet it felt distant until that day. The pillow on his side of the bed is still infused with his The Forever Dream scent, and only when I drift off to sleep can I reach him. As soon as my eyes fuse shut it’s like he never went, and I’m pulled back to those final weeks. Each I am. In my forever dream Mila Pascolini Maytum dream revives the ordinary moments we shared, those moments you neither of us will ever never truly appreciate until they’re gone. But dreams are deceptive; to lose each they canexpected engulf you with temptation of have escape, which I’veother sucI never him to the go so soon. again.

So, I swallow cumbed All I wanted was existed, more time Death isto. something I knew yet– to keep dreaming a little themhurt, with and the leftover longer.

That’s why A few won’t even it felt distant untilI bought that day.the Thepills. pillow chardonnay sitting on if on they so bad?

Anything would be better than hisdid, sidewould of thethat bedbe is still infused the floor by the sofa. the pain feel each aswhen I search for his empty shadow around the house. It is with hisI scent, andday only I drift My eyes drift to sleep, and the burn in the way can my dream offonly to sleep I reach will him.last As forever. soon In my forever dream I can hold him again my stomach dissipates. and tell eyes him how sorryit’s I am. my forever dream neither eventually of us will ever have to as my fuse shut likeInhe never As my heartbeat slows, I see him, and lose each other again. back So, I swallow went, and I’m pulled to thosethem with the leftover chardonnay sitting on his image is made with eventueach the floor by the sofa.

My eyes driftthe to sleep, and the burn in myclear stomach final weeks.

Each dream revives weakening beat.

Eventually, he’s in ally dissipates.

As mywe heartbeat ordinary moments shared, slows, those I see him, and his image is made clear with front of me.

Yet he’s disappointed each weakening beat. truly Eventually, he’s in front of me. Yet he’s disappointed that moments you never appreciate that I gave up and disappointed I I gave and gone. disappointed I wasn’t until up they’re But dreams are the strong girl he used to say I was. I’ve girl he used let him downthey again. justyou likewith last time, itwasn’t is too the late.strong As tempting as the deceptive; canAnd engulf to say I was.

I’ve let forever dream may been, theI’ve deception stings me, and I’mhim leftdown with the temptation of have escape, which again. And just like last time, nothing once to. more. succumbed All I wanted was more it is too late. As tempting time – to keep dreaming a little longer. as the forever dream may That’s why I bought the pills. A few have been, the deception won’t hurt, and even if they did, would stings me, and that be so bad? Anything would be I’m left with better than the pain I feel each day as nothing I search for his empty shadow around once more. the house. It is the only way my dream will last forever. In my forever dream I can hold him again and tell him how sorry

42

The Unsettling Silence Megan Thomas, LGBTQ+ Officer

When Alice opened her eyes, there was nothing but black. It was eerie, quiet, and the familiar sound of her dripping faucet had fallen silent.

They didn’t.

Alice opened her eyes; nothing had changed.

It had been dripping for weeks, but her landlord refused to send a plumber until he returned from holiday. At first, it had been annoying and almost unbearable.

But after dealing with it for two weeks, the repetitive sound of water hitting plastic had started to soothe her like a metronome.

She tried slipping out from beneath the covers, but it was useless.

Her body refused to comply with her demands, disobedient and unmoving.

The bed sheets felt like lead. She raised a tentative hand to pinch her arm, hoping the pain would wake her. Instead of her skin, however, there was nothing but bone.

The absence of it was jarring.

Even worse was the lack of golden streetlights blaring through the paperthin curtains. She’d gotten so used to the light that without it the world felt off-kilter. She rose with the sun and slept to the buzzing of dying lights flickering through the window. Now, there was nothing.

Alice closed her eyes tight, squeezing until it hurt her to keep them shut any longer. She willed the darkness away.

If she tried hard enough, things would return to normal.

Flinching backwards, Alice lost her balance. The bed disappeared. She plunged into the void, limbs flailing as she grasped for anything to keep her from her never-ending plummet. She closed her eyes in anticipation.

When Alice finally awoke, it was to the sound of her thumping heart. It beat in time with the hypnotising drip of her kitchen faucet and the squawks of seagulls beckoning the dawn of day.

It had been nothing but a dream.

Illustrations by Marie Schultze

43

Quiz: What Kind of Dreamer Are You? RAZZ Copy Editor Lucy Verdier assesses your style of dreaming...

1

3 4

Relaxation is…

Your favourite genre is…

A) Sci-fi/action B) Romance C) Fantasy D) Non-fiction

2

School teachers said you were…

A) Loud B) Shy C) Distracted D) Hard-working

A) Going to the cinema B) Reading by the fire C) Journalling D) Listening to a self-help podcast

You relate most to…

A) Ariel B) Belle C) Cinderella D) Mulan

Mostly As:

The Epic Dreamer You’re not afraid to dream BIG. Life’s endless possibilities excite you, and you feel empowered to explore as many paths as you can. People often say your dreams are unrealistic, but you know that with a bit of drive and positive thinking, nothing is impossible. And I say, good for you: shoot for the moon! Even if you miss, you’ll land amongst the stars.

Mostly Bs:

The Soft Dreamer As Meg March so wisely said: “just because my dreams are different than yours doesn’t mean they’re unimportant”. You might not want to be an astronaut or award-winning actor, but you know that life’s little joys are every bit as important.

The idea of an ‘ordinary’ life doesn’t frighten you, it fills you with peace and gratitude, because you see beauty in the little things and know that, really, they’re not so little.

44

5

If you could live in any decade it would be the…

A) 1980s B) 1990s C) 1960s D) Now! 2020s

6

Your ideal Friday night involves…

A) Going OUT out B) Cooking dinner with a loved one C) A deep and meaningful conversation D) Working on a project

7

When you think about the future you feel…

A) Excited B) Peaceful C) Curious D) Ready

Mostly Cs:

The Daydreamer You spend a lot of time in your head, building entire worlds and letting your creativity run wild. You love letting your imagination fly, using your constant curiosity to explore your dreams wherever they take you. People may say you have your head in the clouds, but you don’t care. Living in a world of fantasy and adventure - all of your own creation - is always worth it!

Mostly Ds:

The Logical Dreamer You think it, you want it, you do it, you get it. While some people are happy for their dreams to stay dreams, logical dreamers will stop at nothing to turn their fantasies into reality. You’re constantly looking for ways to reach your goals, seeking opportunities and growth around every corner. Instead of getting lost in the ‘what-ifs’, you’re focused on the here and now, and know that success is just on the horizon.

Illustrations by Phillipa Bailey

45

Funded by the:

Issue 43 www.razzmag.co.uk instagram: @razzmagexeter gmail: razzmag@gmail.com Illustration by Sadhbh Holden