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Creating Positive Choices in Desperate Circumstances
The Dolphin Approach
Julie Silverthorn Training Trances
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4 DEBATE Where is the Evidence?
6 SERIAL Anatomy of a Plane Crash Pt. 5 8 NEWS Happy New Year, and welcome to another inspiring issue of Rapport. So many great things have happened since the last issue I’m not sure where to start. We won two awards at the Hertfordshire Business Awards in October, and attended the Awards Event at the end of November...and you can read all about that on page 8!
ANLP Wins Awards
The Big Question
Gazing into the Future
We thought we would try something new this issue, and floated a ‘BIG Question’ to our readers, Members and on Facebook and Twitter. We had some super responses and Andy has arranged these in our Big Question feature (p14).
Hmmm, should I mention this...or not? Joe Cheal leads us through the maze of Paradox Management (p38) with some interesting observations (and very true in my map of the world, which sometimes seems to be one continual paradox!!). Perhaps topical for this time of year is Eve’s language of symptoms, which does emphasise the mind body link and perhaps highlight the reasons behind some of our symptoms...and yes, I have experienced these on occasions, although I do know that my stomach ache the other day was probably more to do with eating too much Christmas dinner! Just time for a very big thank you to everyone who contributes in any way to Rapport and ANLP, and let’s make 2010 the best year yet. Until next time
We have also published “Current Research in NLP: Volume One”, which contains 9 papers from the first NLP Research Conference and has been edited by Paul Tosey. Bruce Grimley raises some interesting points about Research in his discussion article on page 4.
Eve interviews Rachel Elnaugh (p24) who has experienced the ups and downs of business, and really used this to turn things around. And Alan Briscoe and Joyce Borgs certainly understand a lot about transforming changes, as they tell us, very movingly, about the work they do training and coaching in suicide intervention methods (page 26).
NLP 4 Kids
Flexibility Favours Success
24 CELEBRITY Rachel Elnaugh
Positive Choices in Desperate Circumstances
Language of Symptoms
31 PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT Why Re-purpose when
you can Pre-Purpose
The Dolphin Approach to Achievement
NLP Turned my Life Upside Down
Living Through Paradox
40 RESEARCH Modelling Skills in Recruitment
Editorial Team: Caitlin Collins, Andy Coote, Eve Menezes Cunningham firstname.lastname@example.org, 020 3051 6740 Art Editor: Enzo Zanelli Advertising: Nicola Andrews email@example.com, 020 3384 3217 Membership, subscriptions and back issues: Lala Ali Khan firstname.lastname@example.org, 020 3051 6740
42 TRAINING & WORKSHOPS
50 ANLP NEWS 52 REGIONAL GROUPS
44 DIARY 47 BOOK REVIEWS
54 BASIC NLP
What's Important to You
48 AUTHOR INTERVIEW
Philip Harland Power of Six
Publisher: Karen Moxom email@example.com 020 3051 6740 Company Reg No. 05390486 Phoenix Publishing Ltd Arlingham House, St Albans Rd, South Mimms EN6 3PH Rapport published by Phoenix Publishing on behalf of ANLP. Design: Square Eye Design
DISCLAIMER The views within this magazine are not necessarily those of the publisher, nor does the publisher endorse the products or services promoted in the magazine. Articles are for information only and intent is to inform. Readers should seek professional advice before adopting any suggestions or purchasing any products herein.
rapport - Winter 2009/10
Where is the
Evidence? By Bruce Grimley
The meaning of your communication is the response you receive
suppose as a psychologist I naturally am fascinated by what works and what does not work in the endeavour to find out how we can improve the quality of life for ourselves and for others. However in an age of spin, how can we ever know? One answer is statistics; it is certainly an answer which psychologists turn to over and over again. I remember having this discussion with John Grinder as I was discussing my PhD with him last year. John got quite emotional and said words to the effect “why can’t these psychologists believe the evidence of their own senses?” I did not respond as I was processing the fact that John seemed quite agitated around this area.
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However being aware of sensory evidence and subjecting such sensory evidence to statistical analysis for me does not seem to be mutually exclusive…… the important thing, surely is to get the experimental design correct. Andy Bradbury on his web site FAQ’s shows how some people when researching eye accessing cues for example slip up. This is no big deal, and in my experience is just how psychology works. The key though is to acknowledge the design flaw and conduct an improved piece of research. Carmen Bostic St Clair and John Grinder(2001:87), do tackle this subject. They imagine a well trained psychologist validating the NLP spelling strategy. They
go on to describe exactly what psychologists often do find; support for a weak version of the hypothesis. In this hypothetical case the finding was, as a group, the NLP strategy out performed both the control group and the phonics group. However what is not supported is the strong version of the hypothesis and that is all members of the NLP group will spell words perfectly. What the results of this imagined research actually show is that some people in the NLP group spelt words incorrectly, and also that some people in the control and the phonics group spelt more words correctly than those in the NLP group. If a researcher wished to re-define their research in the hope of a “better” result this is
In an age of spin, how can we ever know?
where I would slightly differ from Carmen and John as well as agree with them. They say consequent to this imagined research an NLP researcher would review the video tapes independently of which group they were in, focussing attention on those who spelled words correctly. They go on to say “ideally, she would discover that, indeed, all individuals who spelled all the words correctly used the V----Ki-----Ad NLP spelling strategy. (Op Cit p89) For me this does in fact set up the strong possibility the researcher could begin to fall foul of the Rosenthal experimenter effect which is something Carmen and John correctly say a well trained psychologist would actively avoid. (p87 op cit). In looking for evidence to support the hypothesis after the research has been conducted is to invite experimental distortion, albeit at an unconscious level. Where I do agree with Carmen and John is to focus the attention on those in the NLP group who did not follow the NLP pattern, as this clearly would demonstrate a deficiency in the NLP model. A characteristic of an NLP pattern and modelling project is that it can be coded in such a way so it can be transferred to others, so participants can achieve similar excellence in a similar time frame when compared with the original exemplar….. “The meaning of your communication is the response you receive”, comes to mind. Dilts calls this designing of a context and procedure the Design phase of modelling. (1998:57) So the original material in this hypothetical NLP spelling model could be refined so NLP training which is about the transfer of NLP patterns to others, is improved. One would then expect an improvement in the direction toward the strong version of the NLP hypothesis. Of course if this did not happen, then that will
provide us evidence the spelling strategy is only supported according to the weaker version, and strong claims for it’s effectiveness cannot be professionally or ethically voiced. Paul Tosey and Jane Mathison make the point in their excellent book Neuro-Linguistic Programming that this type of propositional knowledge is not superior to more qualitative ways of knowing (2009:120), and other forms of research emphasise exploration rather than “proving”, however propositional knowledge often forms a sub set even in more dialectical forms of knowing. (McNiff 2000:229) I think many psychologists and academics do see the benefit NLP can bring to coaching, psychotherapy, and Organizational Development, to name a few. The equivalence paradox would suggest all 400 odd “therapies” are approximately equivalent in their efficacy despite being fundamentally different. However without randomised controlled studies as those alluded to above we have no evidence to suggest NLP is anything special. Andrew Samuels I recall, did say at Roehampton University (November 2008) words to the effect of we know randomized controlled studies are no longer the gold standard in research, however in my opinion they certainly do go a long way to providing evidence for the obvious, something either consistently works or it does not, compared with something else and a control. ANLP has taken a step in the research direction through hosting the first International
NLP Research Conference with the University of Surrey in the Summer of 2008, and the second NLP Research Conference is being held at Cardiff University in the Summer of 2010. In these arenas qualitative and quantitative NLP research can be peer reviewed and developed. NLPers know more than any one we can distort our sensory experience, however it has been said science is a way of preventing us from fooling ourselves in this important area of practical knowledge.
References: Bostic St Clair,C and Grinder,J (2001) Whispering in the Wind J&C Enterprises. Dilts,R (1998) Modeling with NLP Meta Publications. McNiff, J with Whitehead,J (2000) Action Research in Organisations Routledge. Tosey,P and Mathison,J (2009) Neuro-Linguistic Programming; A critical Appreciation for Managers and Developers. Palgrave Macmillan.
Bruce is an ANLP accredited NLP trainer and a Chartered occupational psychologist. He presently is a PhD student at Surrey University and has contributed chapters on NLP coaching to several current publications. He is a registered NLPtCA psychotherapist and is currently is co authoring a book on the psychology of NLP coaching. www.innergame.co.uk Tel: 01480 359108.
rapport - Winter 2009/10
Anatomy of a Plane Crash Part 5 By Neil Almond
sn’t it amazing how a few short moments can shape your life? You possibly know my story by now. One minute Andy (my partner) and I were sipping beer on the white sands of the Great Barrier Reef reflecting on our relaxing holiday, and just a few short moments later our plane transfer back to the mainland was ditching into the ocean leaving us treading water and praying for rescue. As you might imagine this experience has shaped our last 18 months together. We have learnt so much. We’ve laughed. We’ve cried. We faced our share of demons and have broken through old barriers. There is definite gold in our experience. And I’m pleased to say that the new learnings and distinctions are now enriching my practice as an NLP trainer and coach. Something that surprised me on returning to the UK was that most clinical psychologists won’t work with a client until at least six months have elapsed following a traumatic event. The logic is simple, it takes the body and mind at least six months to begin to settle after the physical and psychic trauma that these events cause. They also consider that it’s not possible to diagnose Post Traumatic Stress Disorder for at least this period, as most individuals experience some level of PTSDlike symptoms over these first few months. So what does this mean for NLP? Well I personally believe that it was our NLP skills and mindset that helped us to escape full blown PTSD. The ability to be able to reframe the experience to see opportunity gave us back choice and enabled us to regain an element of control from amongst the chaos. Likewise my instincts tell me that being able to elegantly re-imprint, change submodalities and collapse negative anchors have made a significant difference to our recovery process. And of course NLP certainly offers some great tools for transforming flight phobia. I’m therefore convinced that NLP Practitioners can play a key role in supporting people through the early stages of trauma as long as we remember that trauma, like bereavement, has a process and can’t always be rushed. I was certainly surprised by the level of psychic shock that we experienced and the impact it had on our lives. Looking back I realise I wasn’t really fit for work in those first six months - although I didn’t necessarily realise it at the time. My normally clear head was foggy and my emotions were erratic; I
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NLP certainly offers some great tools for transforming flight phobia remember with embarrassment a time in Knightsbridge where I angrily challenged the behaviour of a traffic warden, when at the time I didn’t even own a car! We both closed down quite significantly during this period, preferring to rush home and lick our wounds rather than socialise. We lived more for the moment, happily using alcohol and, in my case, food as a means of changing the way we felt, losing much of our normal resourcefulness and ability to consistently manage state. And all this despite our own NLP fluency and the generous support of some of the amazing NLP minds we’re proud to call friends. This experience has redoubled the humility and compassion I bring to my coaching. I have always believed that pacing experience is a vital part of NLP and now have a full kinaesthetic association to the subtle interplay between honouring the experience and championing a rich ‘desired state’. Think for a moment about a Meta Model challenge to a nominalisation such as ‘I have depression’. Many might consider getting curious about ‘how are you doing depression?’ is appropriate. In principle this can be valuable, if done with empathy and rapport (and maybe more elegantly worded) as it helps to begin the vital journey from effect to cause. But in the case of traumatic event, where quite often the locus of control feels even further outside of the individual,
is a direct challenge such as ‘how are you being a plane crash victim?’ useful? Well other than the fact that I might have slapped you had you asked me such a blunt question in the first six months, (remember the poor traffic warden) the principle of starting the journey from effect to cause is perhaps key. I think my point here is that compassion is essential together with a recognition that for many people the psychic shock that they are experiencing may be temporarily outside of their ability to ‘pull themselves together’. In a similar vein it is interesting to note that Kate (our amazing 21 year old pilot) was back flying only days after the ditching. She had the same physical trauma as us, but the key difference I see is that the locus of control was within her. She was trained and drilled and able to unconsciously carry out the emergency procedure that saved our lives. We think there were under two minutes between the engine failing and our plane crashing into the ocean. She didn’t have time to think about consequences, only act! Two minutes for us on the other hand enabled us to do a lot of conscious and unconscious processing. I don’t remember being scared at all or even contemplating that we might die, but my flashbacks and experiences since suggest that my unconscious mind thought otherwise. Nina, one of our fellow passengers, reports deliberately zipping up her handbag so that when they pulled up our bodies they would be able to identify her and Henry and notify next of kin. That image leaves me cold. The adventure continues. We’re still unpicking the learnings and opportunities from this experience. Any thoughts or ideas that have come to you while reading these articles would be more than welcome, the email address is below. In the next issue I’d love to share a Practitioners Guide to Fear of Flying based on my experiences. I look forward to seeing you then. firstname.lastname@example.org
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ANLP Sweeps the Board at the
Hertfordshire Business Awards By Eve Menezes Cunningham
his year, ANLP was shortlisted for two categories in the Awards: Karen Moxom as Hertfordshire Woman of the Year and ANLP as Small Business of the Year. The Awards ceremony was at Knebworth Barns, Knebworth House on Thursday 26th November 2009, and they were presented by Bill Turnbull from BBC Breakfast TV (and Strictly Come Dancing!). Raising money for The Princeâ€™s Trust, the awards were sponsored by organisations and businesses including Smith & Williamson, Hertfordshire Chamber of Commerce & Industry, the FSB, Hertfordshire County Council, Hertbeat FM and the University of Hertfordshire. Judges of the Hertfordshire Woman of the Year Award were looking for the impact the woman had made on the wider community, a distinctive contribution in her field, overcoming odds and demonstrating high potential. On announcing Karen as the winner, Bill Turnbull stated that this was largely due to her leading and implementing many of her own commercial initiatives with the organisation and turning ANLP into what it is today, an independently driven, successful social enterprise providing a service for NLP Professionals worldwide. The Small Business of the Year Award was open to businesses employing between 1 and 25 staff, which were established and started trading before January 2008. Judges were specifically looking at business planning and strategy, cost control, customer care, employment development, product strategy and (perfect for an NLP company) attitude to change.
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There were hundreds of entries from all over Hertfordshire for these Awards, and the panel of 10 judges thought that the nominations and applications by ANLP were outstanding, well structured and impressively presented. The other shortlisted finalists for Hertfordshire Woman of the Year were Baroness Ashton, Ingrid Marson and Syeda Rahim. For Small Business of the Year, ANLP was up against Cleanwise Ltd, Earthware Ltd, Sports Xtra Ltd and Propeller Studios Ltd in the final. Upon nominating Karen for Hertfordshire Woman of the Year, Kathryn Rogers, Business Consultant commented â€œThe fact that NLP has implications for improving Education, Health and Business means that her work could
directly or indirectly impact on all area’s of society for the better. With this in mind, it is paramount to have a leader of such an organisation who acts with professionalism and self responsibility as well as being passionate about what they do. Karen is all of these things.”
It is paramount to have a leader of such an organisation who acts with professionalism and self responsibility as well as being passionate about what they do “Karen took over ANLP 4 years ago when it had been basically left for dead, and has turned it into a thriving business, with a fantastic web site and its own quarterly magazine, Rapport, which is the only publication of its type. ANLP is already one of the leading organisations for NLP in this country and continues to develop year after year. All this has been accomplished with minimal funding, staff and resources. Karen is immensely proud of the company getting CIC status, which means that the organisation is classified as a social enterprise. As the only Independent Inclusive Organisation within the NLP community it plays a vital role and has filled a gap which has been sadly lacking in the UK for sometime.” Supporting Kathryn’s nomination of Karen,
Lisa Wake, former Chair and Vice Chair of the UKCP (UK Council for Psychotherapy) wrote “Karen is a great leader in her chosen field. She treads a precarious path and manages to act as host, negotiator, facilitator, arbiter, champion, ethical standard bearer amongst many other roles. She is committed to developing a process for the management of a diverse psychological approach whilst continuing to uphold her own standards for ANLP, which is to remain the ‘Switzerland’ of the NLP Community, often in the face of considerable opposition, threats and challenges.” Dr Paul Tosey provided one of the testimonials that was instrumental in the ANLP Award nominations. He wrote “Karen has probably done more than anyone to promote high ethical standards and to enhance the standing and credibility of NLP. She has also succeeded in making ANLP a community interest company. Altogether this has benefited not only the hundreds of members of ANLP (myself included), but also their clients and colleagues in all walks of life.” “In summary Karen is one of those people who selflessly and tirelessly supports the work of others, without seeking to promote herself. Yet she is one of the most committed and effective people I know, a model of authentic leadership whose efforts have made an impact at regional, national and international level.” Ana Patel, who has worked with ANLP for nearly 2 years, said “It is no surprise to me that Karen is Hertfordshire's Woman of the Year. I have always been inspired by her positive attitude, grace and ability to juggle business, personal and social responsibilities. The fact that ANLP also won Small Business of the Year is a testament to Karen's talent to lead, create
business opportunities and motivate her team.” Karen said “I am absolutely delighted and extremely honoured to have been awarded Hertfordshire Woman of the Year and for ANLP to receive Small Business of the Year – this is incredible and we are thrilled that our achievements have been recognised by the Judges for the Hertfordshire Business Awards.” “The whole experience of entering the Awards was very important for us. I do think that sometimes we are so focussed on reaching the next goal that we forget to turn around, look back and see just what we have already achieved, and how far we have come.” “Our role has developed to become as much about educating the public, maintaining ethics and bringing an increased awareness of NLP to the marketplace,” says Karen. “Although our website is our biggest information resource, we have further evolved our online communications this year, by creating a presence on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and other social media web sites. Furthermore our web site is now updated hourly using live NLP news links and RSS feeds from our members.” “Rapport magazine has evolved to become the leading magazine for anyone interested in NLP and Coaching and is now circulated worldwide and has a readership in its thousands. It has played a huge part in raising awareness, and is now freely available online.” Karen has been integral in encouraging Research within the field of NLP. “There is a growing need for stronger connections between NLP and the world of formal research. As more people and industry sectors become aware of NLP, the demand for research is increasing, in order to demonstrate that there is some evidence basis for NLP. Thus, our role has developed to ensure that research is developed, research papers are publicised and all this information is filtered out to the press, the government and to the general public. “We successfully partnered with the University of Surrey to run the first International NLP Research Conference and are now working in partnership with Cardiff University to host the second conference in 2010. The aim of these ground breaking conferences is to support the growing community of enquiry into NLP. We have also just published the first NLP Research Journal, which was developed out of the proceedings from the 2008 conference.” ANLP has big plans for 2010, so if you are interested in getting involved in any way, do please contact the ANLP office on 020 3051 6740 or email Karen at email@example.com. www.hertsbusinessawards.co.uk
rapport - Winter 2009/10
Julie Silverthorn TRAINING TRANCES
Melody Cheal takes time off from Trainers Training in Arizona to interview Julie Silverthorn, NLP Master Trainer, Author and Seeker.
I was inspired to kick it up a notch! M: Thank you for agreeing to speak with me today. Perhaps we can start by finding out what drew you to NLP and Hypnotherapy. J: Well I think I’m a seeker. I’ve always been searching for the answers to the purpose of life and how to help people. They say your values are based on what was happening in the world when you were 10 years old and I was 10 years old in 1968. We had the Vietnam war and the assassinations of Martin Luther King and Robert Kennedy here in America. I saw the peace marches and demonstrations for some reason I was always motivated to help people. After graduation I almost went into the Peace Corps but instead decided to go on for a graduate degree in Psychology. One day in the late 1970’s, while in my degree program, I received the “Structure of Magic I” in the mailbox! They say there are no coincidences. As I looked through it I remember thinking, “Oh God, this is really not me.” It seemed like I was back in English class so I didn’t really connect with it kinaesthetically. So I put it away to collect dust in my bookshelf. Later I became a family therapist and was trained by the father of Structural Family Therapy, Salvador Minchin and his associates at
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Philadelphia Child Guidance. I was about 22 or 23 years old and it was my first connection with a world class therapist who was also a genius like Milton Erickson. Needless to say I was inspired to kick it up a notch! At the same time, my colleagues were going off to NLP seminars and they told me about doing embedded commands and I’m like, “Just because you do an embedded command doesn’t mean people are going to change, are they (tag question)?” So once again I had a brush with NLP and rejected it. While still a family therapist and always searching for more, I attended a Hypnosis training with the Israeli hypnotherapist, Aamnon Nadav. This was in 1982 or 1983 and it’s where we got the idea for the “that’s right” exercise. As quickly as I rejected NLP, is as quickly as I fell in love with Hypnosis. I was so excited to be Mr. Nadav’s first demo subject that weekend. You see I’m pretty much open-minded and fearless about doing or learning new things. After the weekend when I wanted to learn more about hypnosis, we located a trainer near Washington DC and started taking his hypnosis trainings. As the universe would have it, he was an NLP trainer also. So here was that NLP stuff again and I guess the 3rd time was the charm!
I’m pretty much open-minded and fearless about doing or learning new things M: Why did you decide to write Training Trances?
M: How does this tie in to your approach to teaching?
J: As a Master Trainer of NLP, I felt that I wanted that certification to be more than a title and I felt that the best way for me to recognize myself as a Master Trainer was by making a contribution to the field. So John Overdurf, my partner at the time asked Dr. Wyatt Woodsmall for some advice. He responded by saying, “Well there’s so much material of Erickson’s that really hasn’t been unearthed or unpacked so go to Erickson’s original work, look at it, model it, understand it and write a book on it.” Because hypnosis was my first love that was easy to do and I hope we achieved our goal of creating an easy reading book which explained hypnosis consciously and demonstrated it unconsciously. We believe it is important to teach both to the conscious and the unconscious mind---that each deserves equal respect.
J: I think my approach to teaching is to de-mystify things. I never really grew up thinking I would be a teacher or a trainer but that’s what I’ve been called to do. I’ve been gifted with the ability to explain things in a chunk size or detail level that people can easily understand. So my job is to empower people by transferring those learnings so they have a greater understanding. Then the second part of my approach to teaching is to provide the optimal learning environment which is where trance and positive suggestions come into play. I really believe in each and every participant and the power of their unconscious mind. I am inspired to provide as much unconditional support and unconditional love as possible. This is how people really grow. Fortunately I think I’ve always been gifted with the ability to believe in people and really love them. I can always find
rapport - Winter 2009/10
at least one thing in the way they are that makes them endearing to me. I knew early on that in my metaprograms sort, my interest filter is people, not computers! So I just want to share with them what I know and when I see the light bulbs go off over their heads. That’s what keeps me passionate about teaching--- my focus is on the individuals first, material second. M: Can you explain your use of Humanistic Neuro-linguistic Psychology? J: “Humanistic” is the term for Abraham Maslow’s work. He is the father of Humanistic Psychology and put forth the notion that we are all on a path headed toward self actualisation; which is defined as “the final level of psychological development, in Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, that can be achieved when all basic and mental needs are fulfilled and the ‘actualisation’ of the full personal potential takes place.” We’re all headed toward self actualisation whether we know it, or whether we like it or not. So the idea with Humanistic NLP is it has a little bit more of a spiritualistic, holistic flavour to it----there’s something greater beyond the conscious and unconscious minds and that’s what we’re seeking. Frankly a lot of people were turned off by NLP---that it was too mechanistic and unfeeling. Many in the public were just turned off by the term “programming.” So we said why not call it HNLP which makes it more human, and it offers greater pacing and rapport so why not call it “Psychology” rather than programming? The other aspect about Humanistic NLP that I always find interesting is that Roberto Assagioli in the 1950s talked about a higher conscious mind and Richard and John didn’t include that as part of their model. I believe that a higher conscious mind exists and personally I believe at the deepest level all problems really are spiritual. In life we interact on a physical plane and we make changes vis-a-vis NLP without getting into the spiritual side. For me it’s a really important thing that we are connected to something greater than ourselves. I’ve always been motivated to study kahunas and yogis, to study spiritual things, and healing, rather than just keeping on the material plane.
5th generation trainers. We have people with fresh thinking and varied backgrounds coming into the field and adding to the field. This field is unlimited so there’s room for all of us. Until all 7 billion people in the world know about Hypnosis and NLP, there really is plenty of work for all of us. We have a lot of designer techniques where people are expanding upon the original work---when I first got into NLP there was probably about 10 or 12 Trainers. I think it’s very exciting to see new people come in and contribute and add to the growth and keep spreading it around the world. I feel very truly that the new trainers have really expanded, widened and greatly contributed to the field. M: What’s important and interesting you these days? J: My focus is either on my inner development, my outer development or a combination of both. For me the last couple of years have been about my own inner development, i.e. my own personal growth. First of all I use and live the principles and techniques of hypnosis and NLP as an integrated part of my whole life. It isn’t something I teach and then walk away from. Since I love Hypnosis and NLP I want to live the principles included in both. In Humanistic NLP we believe we are basically unlimited. As a student and a Trainer, I want to study everything I can so I’ve become a Reiki Master; a licensed minister; a Photo-Reading instructor; and a Primordial Sound instructor with Deepak Chopra. Lately my interest has been modelling weight loss programs. I’m always interested in working with cancer treatment and prevention, as well as addictions. There isn’t much that I’m not interested in because I find the next field and I go in and model it and study it and get really involved and excited about learning new things that I don’t know.
Oh God, this is really not me
M: What do you think about NLP trainers learning hypnosis? J: For me hypnosis is really the core. The truth is every major trainer in NLP has been trained in hypnosis, I believe it’s the core skill from which NLP developed (at least the portion where Erickson was modelled) and it increases a trainer’s sensory acuity, rapport, and their language skills. It really takes the rough edges off NLP as it can be too authoritarian. You’re telling someone what to do; whereas if you use the elegant language patterns of Dr. Erickson it smoothes the edges and it makes it much more permissive. Clients feel much more supported and feel more at ease with a permissive attitude. Also trusting the unconscious mind as trainers, that’s what many of us lost the ability to do from the time when we were young and then we over relied on the conscious mind. Now as adults we realise something’s missing and if we realise we can trust ourself and trust the universe, you know the truth is we live in an imperfect world it always will be imperfect but can we find peace and happiness? I think that hypnosis can teach us to trust the unconscious mind and NLP tools give us the methodology to be able to do that. M: What changes have you noticed in the field? J: Well I’ve been in the field for at least 27 years and what I’ve noticed most is the explosive growth and the room for new trainers ---3rd. 4th,
Winter 2009/10 - rapport
M: What are you planning to do in the UK in the near future? J: In April 2010 we will be in Brighton. I’ll be training 14 days of Hypnosis, including certifications, with my UK business partner, Russell Potts a certified NLP Trainer and certified Hypnosis Trainer. We’ve created the International Hypnosis Society, IHS and we have a very interesting mission. We believe that the field of Hypnosis and the members of it are unlimited. We also believe that the field has unlimited potential and we are the first international hypnosis organization to gain approval from multiple Hypnosis credentialing bodies. We are approved by the BIH, ABH, AIP and the NBCCH. We want our Trainers to have as many membership opportunities as possible as we want to network with all ethical organizations to demonstrate our interconnectedness. We are on a mission to spread the word of hypnosis and the power of the unconscious mind and we’re excited! Julie M. Silverthorn, M.S. has Bachelor’s and Master’s degree in Psychology and has been in the field of Psychology for 30 years. She was certified as a NLP Trainer by Richard Bandler. She has been a certified Master Trainer of NLP since 1992, having been certified by Tad James and Wyatt Woodsmall. She and John Overdurf co-authored the books Training Trances and Dreaming Realities. Together, in 1995, they offered the first Hypnosis Trainer’s Training and Certification. Julie, Like Dr. Erickson moved to the desert southwest of the US. She lives 6 miles from his famous “garage” and Squaw Peak is in her backyard. So you really never know how far a change (or trainer) will go! For more information about Julie’s courses in the UK and beyond visit her website www.trainingtrances.com
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THE BIG QUESTION
THE BIG QUESTION
WORKING ON MYSELF I would like to ‘walk my talk’ and be fully present in my interaction with others personally and professionally to create a systemic consciousness shift that impacts the world positively. Maite Baron, firstname.lastname@example.org I strongly believe in practicing random acts of kindness and realize my voice alone isn’t enough to change the world overnight, but that I can create simple, positive, loving changing one person at a time. Susan Fuchs, Breaking Free Hypnotherapy, BreakingFreeNow@gmail.com
WORKING WITH PEOPLE AND THEIR BELIEFS If people are able to reflect on their values and beliefs and the subsequent behaviours by using NLP then perhaps they will make choices that are better for themselves and others. Jackie Ashworth, SuccessTrain, jax@ successtrain.co.uk I will be using NLP to help people see the light that they already are. Whether it is introducing people to their unconscious mind, enabling people’s development through training that is founded upon NLP or coaching them
Winter 2009/10 - rapport
NLP in 2010 We asked you for your answers to the question ‘How would you like to use NLP in 2010 to make a change to the world?’ You answered in large numbers and what follows are your edited answers.
so that they find their own solution to their issues. Chris Menlove-Platt, Leading Edge Development, email@example.com I wish for more people to connect with their sense of purpose by realising all behaviour is patterned and can be modelled into steps or processes so people can find easier ways to change those steps and processes in ways that enrich and fulfil their goals. Andy Duffy, firstname.lastname@example.org Seeing things from another’s point of view with empathy is essential. We are moving to a new state of consciousness where ego is releasing and oneness is to be encouraged. Tom Evans aka The Bookwright, email@example.com If I use NLP, which as a Hypnotist on one hand I’m not sure I do and on the other I’m positive I do, I use it to inspire people to do stuff for each other that rewards with a dopamine rush that lasts. Jonathan Chase, Edutainer, Hypnotist, Mind Coach, firstname.lastname@example.org I would like to help more people use NLP to improve their lives, to feel good about themselves and in turn contribute more to the planet. Melody Cheal, G Wiz Training, melody@ gwiztraining.com
Empowering people to reach their goals by staying focused on their outcomes. By adapting their approaches until they make that breakthrough, they can use that flexibility for future goals, too. Eve Menezes Cunningham, Writer and Coach email@example.com I would love to see the presuppositions of NLP being widely applied in society...’respecting other models of the world’, ‘flexibility’, ‘no failure, only feedback’, ‘choice is better than no choice’, ‘the map is not the reality’. Understanding and applying these principles could make a big difference. Karen Moxom as MD of ANLP, firstname.lastname@example.org We want to turn back the tide of negativity and get people feeling positive as we come to the end of the first decade of the millennium. Tony Nutley, UK College of Personal Development, email@example.com I would like to use NLP to influence people to make principled choices, to work together towards shared success, prosperity and peace. Tony Harvey, tony@Learn-to-be-a-Leader.com
THE BIG QUESTION
I would like NLP to be the basic personal development programme in each individual's life whether they are in employment, in education, unemployed or retired. Anissa Yusuf, Anissa.Yusuf@workinglinks.co.uk I would like to be contributing to improving personal effectiveness for a greater people number. Stuart Jones, ABEL Learning Limited, firstname.lastname@example.org Small changes in ourselves can also make a big difference beyond us. I want to use NLP to encourage even more people to create this empowering belief for themselves to bring about positive change in the world. Franca Mongiardi – NLP Master Practitioner and Trainer, email@example.com I propose changing the initials NLP to No Limitations Possible and therefore highlighting the magnitude of change using NLP can achieve. Change in me results in change in the world. Trish Mason, Catalysta-NLP, firstname.lastname@example.org There is an opportunity for the NLP community to shine a light on the possibilities for companies and individuals, and supporting them to create this. Karen Meager, Monkey Puzzle Training & Consultancy, email@example.com I use NLP to show people how their own minds or internal worlds work in their own sphere. Therefore they can be making a difference by being
powerful, intelligent and conscious of their language and intentions/actions. Terry Elston, NLP World Director, firstname.lastname@example.org
SUPPORTING AND DEVELOPING YOUNG PEOPLE The future is in the hands of our young people. I would love to introduce 6th form students to the concept of state management, alignment of beliefs, values and their identity and give them some basic techniques to enable them to make the crucial decisions on career, relationships, identity. Margaret Mc Connon, email@example.com To support the magnificent work of the charity Dreamcatchers (www.dreamcatchers. ltd.uk) in doing what works in youth engagement, youth development and youth coaching. Their CEO Andy Jackson is the best exemplar I know of practically applying what you learn on NLP courses to solving realworld problems. Andy Smith, Coaching Leaders, firstname.lastname@example.org In the west of Scotland, I find people have been taught from a young age that getting things wrong is failure and to be avoided. It is from learning through feedback that we learn to make our way in the world. Anne Laird, email@example.com By developing an NLP based coaching program that will become as widely acceptable and as readily accessible as counselling is to anyone wanting to improve their life. Especially vulnerable groups e.g. young people making the transition from being looked after in local authority care to living independently. Denise Collins, The Hummingbird Effect, DeniseCollins100@aol.com
I would like to make a positive difference to the lives of as many parents and children as possible. I share NLP-based methods with parents and childcare practitioners to nurture happiness in our relationships with the children we care for. Sue Beever, Author Happy Kids, Happy you, sue@Happykids-happyyou.co.uk
WITH LEADERS IN BUSINESS Many leaders of organizations find themselves in a state where fear and stress is apparent. I see NLP being the basic tool to create well formed outcomes that will bridge the strategy gap from stress and fear to peace and thus change the world. Brian Chernett, The Academy for Chief Executives, firstname.lastname@example.org In 2010 I have aligned knowledge testing in our Group to be a learning experience valued by all. I have removed participant’s fear of failure, and strengthened our trust in one another, to recognise development and growth. I achieved this by having clear measurable outcomes and milestones. Brian Corrigan, Halifax.co.uk, BrianCorrigan@halifax.co.uk I would like to use it to work with the corporate leaders of the country to help them see that there are other ways that can truly respect the individual and deliver the bottom line. John McLachlan Monkey Puzzle Training & Consultancy, email@example.com
IN THE HEALTH SECTOR AND WITH PRACTITIONERS Results of research into the effect of training GPs and Practice Nurses in NLP would have on Diabetes patients health indicate that training in specific NLP tools and techniques has a measurably
rapport - Winter 2009/10
THE BIG QUESTION
‘How would you like to use NLP in 2010 to make a change to the world?’ beneficial effect. I would like to do more of this in 2010. Martin Crump, Evolution, firstname.lastname@example.org I’d like to enable others to understand how diagnosis, treatment and talking about cancer can be treated in a much more productive manner for the patient, the family, the care team and all involved. It’s ok to talk about cancer out loud. Rosie O’Hara Director NLP Highland, email@example.com I would like to see NLP applied to improve the rapport skills of mental health professionals between themselves and with the patients, as a regular tool for prevention of mental disorders and relapse of major mental illnesses and to contribute to eradicate stigma against mental illness. Dr Emma Allende, Psychiatrist, firstname.lastname@example.org I’d focus on rapport and get NLP practitioners and coaches talking to their clients in language they understand. If we can get to the heart of what our clients most want and truly connect with them, we’ll be in a much better position to help them blossom. Hannah McNamara, Author of ‘Niche Marketing for Coaches', email@example.com
EMPOWERING GROUPS I’m using NLP to develop a unique programme for mid-life women called ‘Age with Attitude’. I’ve written a book to accompany the programme called ‘Still 25 Inside’. Lindsey Agness, The Change Corporation, firstname.lastname@example.org
Winter 2009/10 - rapport
Sometimes I feel we are not appropriately supporting the world’s social inclusion and employment need with this amazing vehicle (NLP) that supports fast change and personal growth. We all matter, that is why I have written NLP workbooks enabling a model of excellence for all to benefit. Suzi Buckley Managing Director of Indigo-NLP Ltd, email@example.com I’ve seen the amazing impact of NLP on those affected by drugs, alcohol and substance misuse. I’ll keep using NLP to help more of these clients change
choose leaders who speak their truth. Judy Apps, Voice of Influence, firstname.lastname@example.org I will be using NLP to raise people’s awareness regarding Climate Change, so that they move to action to reduce their personal carbon footprint and impress their friends, neighbours and business colleagues to do the same. William Barron, Creating Insight, email@example.com
their world. Sonja Rooke, HelloU, Sonja.Rooke@HelloU.co.uk
Carbon Management or “that greenhouse gasses thing” – is having a massive impact on our world, and our children’s world. Using NLP to encourage the way we think, and take actions, about this would help people take it more seriously. Chris Tomlinson , Director, Trisolve Ltd, firstname.lastname@example.org
WORLD PEACE AND SAVING THE PLANET
…AND A FINAL THOUGHT – SMALL CHANGES, LARGE OUTCOMES
I would love to see NLP skills used to generate some meaningful communication with those who cause fear in the world. Peace can never be achieved using violence and things only move forward once communication starts having a positive effect. Karen Moxom as Mum, email@example.com
Start by changing one person for the better and like creating a ripple in the pond which grows and spreads as it moves across the surface, growing into a wave as it reaches the ocean and more and more people. We all have the power to create the ripple. Ian McGregor, Peak Change Limited, firstname.lastname@example.org
I intend to keep using NLP to help people get their lives in a better condition. I hope to see at least 100 more NLP trainers in South Africa, especially trainers teaching in Afrikaans and the various African languages. My aim is to teach and qualify at least 20 people up to Trainers level. Dr. Terri Ann Laws, email@example.com
I hope that you have enjoyed and found information and inspiration from these responses. Thanks to everyone who responded to this Big Question.
Hone in on sound and the latest developments in auditory acuity. When we the public begin to hear the difference between a spun line and a genuine expression straight from the heart, we’ll start to
The Big Question for the Spring issue is "Where do you see the value of NLP in your life and work". We will publish this through Facebook (anlp page), Twitter (andyRapport) and the ANLP email list. Selected and edited by Andy Coote (firstname.lastname@example.org)
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Gazing into the future It’s all in the eyes By Eve Menezes Cunningham
hen I started taking yoga classes, one of my instructors often emphasised “drishti” points. This is a Sanskrit word for focal point, insight and vision. By looking upwards and ahead in certain asanas (postures), we learned we could balance better and for longer. Keeping the eyes focused improves stamina and flexibility, too. In a recent class, an instructor inexplicably started encouraging people to focus on a point on the floor. I had my former instructor’s voice in my head so kept focusing ahead but others started falling all over the place. Dancers fix their eyes on a spot on the wall to help them keep their balance through endless spins. And in NLP, apart from eye accessing cues giving so much away, we know that the simple act of looking up can change our physiology and boost our mood. US actor and singer, Jessica Simpson is such a fan of looking up, she started photographing the sky. We automatically adjust our gaze to support us in many situations. There are times when looking too far ahead can leave you feeling overwhelmed. I used to psyche myself out, when cycling up a hill, by looking at the top of the hill. My mind would drift, my heart would pound and I’d doubt my ability to make it to the top in one piece. Then I discovered that by looking down at the road beneath me, I was able to cycle further and faster. I was completely focused on the present. When the gradient drops a little and cycling doesn’t take all my energy, I can widen my focus again and look further ahead. Think about your life. When things are going smoothly, it’s much easier to look ahead and plan for the future. When everything feels challenging, we literally have to put our heads down and focus on what needs to be done to get through the tough time.
Winter 2009/10 - rapport
Pay attention to your focus. Are you looking at the big picture? Planning for the future? Does life feel expansive? Or are you using tunnel vision or blinkers to help you navigate this challenge?
We automatically adjust our gaze to support us in many situations Both have their place and being aware can help you ensure that you don’t get locked into a way of seeing the world that keeps you blocked. Recent studies show that when we’re feeling good, we literally see more. Our optical nerves take in more detail and life literally seems brighter. We’re open to opportunities because we actually notice them. When things aren’t so good, our focus isn’t as sharp and we develop a kind of tunnel
vision. We literally can’t see all the things that are out there. If you’re too future focused, what might help you ground your dreams more? What small steps can you start taking today? If things feel too challenging to think about anything beyond a current crisis, what might help you begin to open yourself up a little more? Which of your goals can you see most clearly? When you picture yourself reaching them, do you notice any obstacles in your way? What about other goals? Are you finding it difficult to see beyond challenges that seem very close? Practice using your eyes for things nearby (the steps you can take today) as well as the bigger picture steps that are a few months (or even years) down the line. Just as you give your eyes a break from a book or computer screen by shifting your focus to some greenery down the road, make time each day to look at your daily To Do list as well as visualising your bigger picture. Do you ever wish you had an extra pair of eyes? Get some
Do you ever wish you had an extra pair of eyes? perspective by asking other people for their input. What can they see about your situation that you were oblivious to? How can their perception help you make the most of the situation? Would stepping into someone else’s shoes using perceptual positioning help give you the perspective you need? If you have time, think about an issue that’s been bothering you and write about it from your perspective. When you’ve got this out of your system, pretend to be the other people who are involved. Take one at a time and write about the situation using their voice. What insights does this give you? What will you do differently as a result? Creating a vision board can help you bring that longer term vision into your daily life. Keep it near your desk or workspace to keep you inspired. This kind of bifocal vision can help you use short and long sight so you don’t get too psyched out by the enormity of your goal or bogged down in the detail to the extent that you lose all enthusiasm for it. As with everything, the more flexible we can be, the easier we make things for ourselves. Practice developing your Big Picture or Detail “muscles” to help yourself work better with both types of vision.
ATTENTION TO DETAIL If you tend to be more of a big picture person, experiment with shifting your focus. Talk to friends and relatives who favour detail and really pay attention. Think about ways you can start caring more about the little things that will ultimately help your days flow more smoothly. It may be as simple as deciding what to wear / have for lunch the night before so you’re all set in the morning. Or you may want to experiment with accessories (belts, jewellery and so on) that previously seemed too trivial. Read that document before signing your name to it. Choose some news stories to read rather than just scanning headlines. Einstein apparently found socks too “detail” oriented so endured cold feet all year. Others buy all pairs the same so they don’t lose hours trying to pair distinctive types. This isn’t to make you lose your big picture abilities, but to help you navigate other aspects of life more easily. Think about your day to day obstacles. Which of them are down to not paying enough attention to the details? Spend a couple of hours fixing them for good (e.g. hanging a key rack so you never waste time looking for keys again / organising your car / bag) and you’ll soon be able to
focus on the big picture without life’s little details tripping you up. THINKING BIG If you’re naturally more detail oriented, widen your focus a little to think about how your life might be if you allowed yourself to dream. What would be your Magic Wand Wish? Don’t psyche yourself out of thinking big by immediately thinking about all the details you’d need to navigate in order to create this reality. Instead, allow yourself to visualise this enormous goal (whether it’s a cure for AIDS, world peace or the kind of home or work you’ve been stopping yourself day-dreaming about for years). Talk to your Big Picture friends and relatives. How do they let “little things” go? Can you learn from them by occasionally skipping the washing up or cleaning while you focus on writing that book? Your attention to detail will help you take the necessary steps to your goal but you’ll have so much more fun and motivation – inspiration – if you let the feelings of it overtake you before reality checks set in. www.applecoaching.com
rapport - Winter 2009/10
NLP 4 Kids Gemma Bailey tells Rapport readers about the successful workshops she has designed for supporting Children, their Parents and Teachers.
LP4Kids is a series of workshops designed for children aged 7-14 years that were created using some of the principals and techniques of NLP. They have been designed to help children and young people improve their levels of confidence, become more motivated and improve their attitude and commitment. I first stumbled across NLP around 5 years ago and was amazed by the number of other newly qualified NLPers who were all thinking or saying the same thing as me - “I wish I’d learned this stuff at school. I wish I’d learnt it 20 years ago!” I’ve worked with children since 1995 and am qualified as a nursery nurse. Now I combine my knowledge of children’s behaviour with my NLP skills in my private therapy practice where I work as a hypnotherapist and NLP Master Practitioner, specialising in working with children. I’ve met so many young faces throughout the years, but there are a few that I will never fail to forget. Apart from remembering specific events related to these children, the one thing that makes them stick in my mind is their attitude. I remember the ones who made me pictures and held the door open for me just as much as I remember the ones who responded “whatever” without making eye contact to every helpful suggestion I could muster. I also remember one scallywag very well, who kicked me in the leg and got himself suspended from school. NLP goes some way to teaching us how our attitudes are shaped and developed by the influences we grow up with. Fortunately it also gives us some techniques to enable us to positively change our own thought processes and how to positively influence the thinking of others too. When someone’s attitude changes, the world can become a completely different place for them. In the past there were times when my own attitude was way off the mark and I didn’t realise how I was communicating to myself or others until I began learning NLP. Then I also began to notice the attitudes of everybody else around me, including the children, families and teachers I worked with. I remember one child coming to see me in my capacity as a therapist. She was having problems with her peers and getting school work done. She was 7 years old and her mother told me that the difficulties she was experiencing had started since her grandfather had died. Interestingly the grandfather lived in another country and the child had had little contact with him and didn’t really remember him. I asked the child “What’s making your school work seem tricky at the moment?”
She said “’Cos I’ve lost my confidence.” I said “Tell me what you think confidence is. What is it like?” “I don’t know,” she said. “Then how do you know you’ve lost it?” “Because Mummy told me.” “So if mummy told you your confidence was back, would you feel better when doing your school work?” “I think so.” This was the point that I realised the powerful influence we have on children. I told mum to tell her daughter she was doing a great job on a consistent basis and taught her the feedback sandwich to use if the little girl wasn’t totally on track (so tell her what she has done well, what she could do that would be even better, but overall what was good.) I later got an email from mum who was overjoyed at the transformation. She said “She now tries to reach her full potential instead of denying that she is good enough to even try.” I realised that if we expect good things, there’s a better chance that good things will happen. But what would be the result if we were to teach that theory to children? Could they create and generate that same confidence that my little friend had been waiting to tap into just as soon as mummy gave her permission to do so? Could they do it for themselves? Could NLP be the way forward and if so, could it really be translated into child friendly language? I started to pay more attention to the way adults spoke to children. I got a great example of this when I helped out on a kid’s camp at a local school. The group leader was explaining to the children (who were not familiar with the building) what to do if there was a fire. “In the event of a fire, please form an orderly queue at the nearest exit. We will then walk to the assembly point at the rear of the field. Do you understand?” Some bewildered looking faces nodded their heads. I’m quite good at being childish, so I ran that explanation through the part of my brain which is still 5 years old and decided that there might be a better way.... “if this building has a fire, an alarm bell goes off. If you hear that alarm bell, line up and we’ll go outside through one of the doors that has got a green sign over the top with a picture of a running man on it. We’ll all walk over the back of the field in our line as that is the place where we all meet up. Do you understand?” They smiled and nodded. So I wondered if there were other times when grownups said stuff in their grown up way, to children who would just nod and smile but who
I wish I’d learned this stuff at school
Winter 2009/10 - rapport
This was the point that I realised the powerful influence we have on children were in their little brains totally befuzzled. (Befuzzled is a technical term second position they associate into someone who believes in them understood only by nursery nurses. It’s a bit like being confused.) And which is always enlightening. In addition, we teach anchoring and I continued to wonder if at times those grownups might be parents or create metaphorical stories using the dreamweaver process amongst teachers or other important or impressionable people. other NLP type techniques. We also teach memory skills and draw I remember when I was about 5 years old and had just started school. attention to toxic language. I came home most upset because I didn’t get a grapefruit. My mum was I launched NLP4Kids on the People Building website and had 3 baffled and asked my teacher why she was dishing up grapefruit in class, enquiries in the first 3 days. This was without doing any marketing at all. and why I hadn’t got one. It turned out that my teacher had been telling Within just a few months I conducted our first workshop and 2 months us about our reading scheme called “breakthrough.” Because I had later I did another with similar success. Then early in 2009 we were no concept of what “breakthrough” was or what the word meant, my invited to Kuwait to teach the entire programme to 25 Kuwaiti national little brain had thought to itself “Hmm, breakthrough sounds a bit like children. I went along with the support of a friend and it was a brilliant grapefruit. Cool. I’m going to get a grapefruit.” experience. You see sometimes adults say words without considering what the NLP4Kids received some funding from a local government scheme other person’s experience of the word is. One persons experience or which enabled us to offer a reduced pricing plan to the schools we reference for something could be totally different to another persons. worked with. One school was in Skelmersdale, Lancashire which provides Children’s experiences are more limited because they haven’t spent as education to children from one of the poorest postcodes in the UK. We much time on the planet as adults have and sometimes had around 20 children that day and they were a their references are incorrect or missing altogether. really tough crowd! Luckily I made an idiot of Before we knew it, Kay (co-founder of NLP4Kids) myself by cracking some poor joke and the ice and I had some brilliant ideas about why NLP with was broken - the rapport began, and 4 hours children would be an awesome idea. If we were also later when we had taught them a technique to teaching children how to overcome emotional enable them to successfully remember a list of challenges, as part of the programme, we 30 random objects forwards and backwards would be putting them in a better state for they ended the day with an almighty learning. We could also show them how spontaneous cheer. to get quickly into resourceful states. We have now, after much interest, We began to make some decisions expanded NLP4Kids to include about which elements of teachers and parents. And due to the our own Practitioner and continuous demand, are going to Master Practitioner create some kind of licence or courses would be certification for those who useful. And which want to be able to teach bits could be NLP4Kids using our transcribed model. It is my hope into language that NLP4Kids can that children become widespread and young across the UK people could and perhaps comprehend. We worldwide. I also interspersed know this is not games and activities enough to solve outside of traditional knife crime NLP that encourage other amongst young useful skills such as team people. I know work, assertiveness and it is not enough to memory skills. eliminate bullying, teenage When we had everything that we suicide or eating disorders. But wanted to cover, we divided the activities up it might make some children and to form 3 workshops and created a workbook to young people feel a bit better, a bit braver go with each workshop. We use NLP perceptual and like themselves and others a bit more than www.NLP4Kids.org positions as a basis for one role play activity - in the they did before. And that’s a good start.
rapport - Winter 2009/10
The Presuppositions of NLP Flexibility Favours Success
The NLP presuppositions can help us transcend limiting beliefs about ourselves and our world. You don’t have to believe any presupposition; just consider the implications of acting ‘as if’ you believed it, imagining the differences doing so could make to your life.
his is not an endorsement of hatha yoga; the usual wording is less succinct, although perhaps not much clearer: ‘Whoever has the most flexible behaviour will have the most influence in any situation’, or, more scarily, ‘... can control the outcome of an interaction’. It’s not a catchy heading. This presupposition is based on something found in systems theory: the law of requisite variety (an even less
catchy heading), which says that the part with the widest range of action will have the greatest influence over the entire system. Imagine the following scenario. A work colleague is routinely unpleasant to you: he criticises, nitpicks, tells you off, and is gratuitously rude and aggressive. Soon just seeing him or hearing his voice triggers irritation in you, so you’re primed to snap back at him. Now you’re both playing
habitual roles with little or no control over the interaction and there’s little likelihood of changing the status quo unless one of you leaves or attacks the other with a blunt instrument. So let’s consider some other possibilities. The more choices you have, the more elegantly you can handle a situation. What do you want to happen? Try expanding your outcome to include less tangible aims, such as maintaining your
Whoever has the most flexible behaviour will have the most influence in any situation
By Caitlin Collins equanimity despite provocation (on a scale of 1 – 10, how serene can you be?), or at least recovering your equilibrium swiftly rather than letting resentment tarnish the rest of the day. What can you do differently? Instead of an automatic reactive snarl, how about a sympathetic enquiry into what’s really upsetting him? He clearly has problems – nastiness is not a natural expression of peace and happiness – and genuine compassion can work wonders. If you could introduce a pattern interruption to stop the inevitable slide to an angry exchange, the interaction might move in a different direction: just bending down to tie your shoelace when he starts talking could be enough to distract him. How spontaneous do you dare to be? If you can come from a deeper place in yourself, beyond habitual reactivity, surprising things can happen. What if you could make a more constructive connection than ego-clashing? Finally, if all else fails, you can always console yourself with the old saying: revenge is being sweet! Caitlin Collins: www.naturalmindmagic.com email@example.com
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What is NLP Mastery? By Peter Salisbury
hen Bandler and Grinder launched NLP to the world back in the late 70’s, they initially delivered 20 day training programmes. This became shorter as they refined the training delivery and created new improved models. These changes reduced the amount of content previously thought of as necessary. Becoming a Master of Practitioner Skills is quite different to having attended a master practitioner course! Many practitioners are even encouraged to sign up for back to back courses! This seems to make a mockery out of the term Master? "Only one who devotes himself to a cause with his whole strength and soul can be a true master. For this reason mastery demands all of a person." Albert Einstein Before anyone can attain mastery they need first to attain proficiency. John Grinder and Carmen Bostic St. Clair, the co-creators of New Code NLP have stated there are many essential requirements that denote proficiency in a practitioner, some of which include: 1) Competency in application of the NLP patterning. It's not about intellectualising the patterning but about elegant application. 2) Recognising the important distinctions between ‘content and process’ models and further, how this difference impacts on the efficacy of NLP interventions. 3) Being able to operate entirely within process as a structure and not impinge on results with ‘content impositions’.
So how can we attain Mastery in NLP? Grinder noticed that many NLP practitioners and trainers, despite being able to perform successful change work with others, were, in certain areas of their own lives, demonstrating “horrific examples of incongruence.” Further, he has publicly stated many times that, whilst he and Richard were impeccable in the modelling process they were not impeccable in their coding of the patterns. The original coding of the patterns did not adequately reflect everything that had been modelled. Certain fundamental steps, critical to all NLP applications, too often go overlooked. To this end he created and revised a new set of ideals and patterns, now known as New Code NLP. These have been extensively developed with Carmen Bostic St.Clair since the initial inception.
• To correct coding flaws in Classic Code NLP and make explicit those concepts that are essential criteria to successful performance.
Many people applying NLP are tantalisingly close to the genius of the coding and yet experience inconsistent and even poor results. Understanding and incorporating the key variables, that are often critical to successful application, leads to greater ecology for the client and a profound shift in long term results for the practitioner. And what about Mastery? Grinder states that it is essential for practitioners to be congruent in their application. This means that practitioners are masters of selfapplication too. So the message is quite simple: As Practitioners are we walking our talk? If you wish to see the latest videos of John Grinder talking about these subjects visit this link at: www.nlpcoachingsuccess.com In 2010 John Grinder and Carmen Bostic St.Clair, the co-creators of New Code NLP will be training an • That the practitioner using Advanced course for Practitioners the New Code patterning would - A route to Mastery and A weekend experience self-application as an ‘Boot Camp' of Advanced NLP inherent aspect of applying the skills. Delegates will experience patterning with clients. intensive coaching to set them on their own path to mastery. Dr. John Grinder Co Creator of NLP Consider it like moving from Windows 98 to Windows 7. An absolutely rare opportunity to be coached by the co-creators of New Code NLP. For more information on this special unique course in Feb-Mar 2010 visit: www.nlpcoachingsuccess.com Peter Salisbury is an ITA New Code NLP Trainer.
www.nlpcoachingsuccess.com rapport - Winter 2009/10
Rachel Elnaugh From Dragon to Mentor By Eve Menezes Cunningham
ou probably know Rachel Elnaugh from her time on Dragons’ Den. Before that she created Red Letter Days, the first company to offer experiences as gifts, when she was 24. She was interested in business long before then. “I actually grew up above my dad’s shop,” says Rachel. “I was always down there tinkering around and helping out. When I got older, I did the accounts.” She remembers running a gift stall for charity at Christmas with her mother. “Because I served at the stall, we knew what sold. If the green and red crackers sold we’d make more green and red crackers instead of purple and pink.” Although Red Letter Days became a phenomenon, creating a new market for experience gifts, Rachel never imagined it becoming so big. “It was just an idea to create a gift company and I think it was only probably seven or eight years into the business that people started to copy it. People like Boots started offering experiences.” Rachel says her biggest success so far was “not allowing the failure of red letter days to destroy me. It would have been very easy to have some kind of breakdown at that time. Having the support and strength and positive mindset kept me going. A business failure of itself is bad enough but the whole media bashing was awful. “As entrepreneurs, you have to be able to manage your own motivation. You can’t be looking for someone to motivate you all the time. When Red Letter Days crashed and the media was slagging me off, I got hundreds of emails and letters of support. People were saying things like ‘Don’t let the bastards grind you down.’ “There was a point when I thought I wouldn’t get out from the duvet but I don’t think I had much wallow time. I thought ‘This is it’ having gone from being so busy to my diary suddenly being completely empty. But very quickly, opportunities started to flow. I started to be asked to
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speak at events, become a mentor, help people with their businesses. “Over time, without intending it, I’d created a whole new business. Quite a lot of people sent nasty emails saying things like, ‘Who the hell are you to set yourself up as a consultant? You’re a failure.’ But I hadn’t ever had to push and market myself as a mentor.” Although Dragons’ Den made her famous, Rachel says, “It was a double edged sword. It brought me a form of fame which has led to speaking engagements but the problem was it damaged my personal brand a bit. I became known as ‘the bitch from Dragons’ Den’. When you’re on telly, on a show that’s been heavily edited, you become seen as a caricature of yourself.” She now uses speaking engagements and mentoring to change her brand back “to one that’s a bit more positive. People say, ‘You’re nothing like I thought’.”
There’s a whole other way of doing business that’s collaborative and supportive Apart from her busy work life, Rachel and her husband have five sons. She says she juggles everything “with difficulty. My nanny’s away this week so this morning, I did the school run to three different schools, will head into London later and have a million and one business things to do.” When she looks back, Rachel wishes she’d paid herself more when running Red Letter Days rather than pouring everything back into the business. “Make sure you tuck some money away as a treasure chest for yourself so if it fails, there’s something to fall back on. When you go from having a multi million pound business to being unemployed , it’s a real
When you go from having a multi million pound business to being unemployed, it’s a real driver
driver. How are we going to generate some money here? It makes creativity flow.” The Chinese character for crisis and opportunity is the same and Rachel has always had an eye for opportunities. But she’s had to challenge herself to overcome her fears. Sitting on the panel while hopeful entrepreneurs presented their ideas was different to speaking herself. “When Dragons’ Den went live, my PR man said I had all these speaking engagements,” she says. “I said, ‘ refuse them all’. I certainly wouldn’t have faced my fear of public speaking or written the book if I hadn’t failed. I had a little argument with myself. “At first, I started to do it because I was being paid. Then I got to the point where I thought ‘This is a real privilege. I need to start not just getting through it but doing it well’. I had voice coaching and learned about energy projection, structuring content and performance skills. I can now really enjoy being on stage.” Rachel feels hopeful about the future. “I think young people are incredibly enterprising. We’ve got an amazing enterprise culture coming up, inspired by programmes like Dragons’ Den. Sadly, this represents business in the wrong way. Like The Apprentice, it’s very alpha male and aggressive. There’s a whole other way of doing business that’s collaborative and supportive.” She’s also concerned about the popular “mentality of ‘I want it on a plate, it’s my right.’ Still, we’re seeing a massive shift in business. Personally, I don’t think this is a recession, we’re seeing a shift in the way people approach revenue. The consumer bubble has burst. It’s a big cultural change. I don’t think we’re going to go back to the way things were. Social enterprise is important. Few businesses are coming through that don’t have some kind of cause, even if it’s just a matter of following a passion rather than just doing things for money.”
RACHEL’S TOP TIPS: • Look for the opportunity in every setback • Pay more attention to the people who support and encourage you rather than giving your power away to anyone who wants to knock you down • Be flexible. If your customers or clients want something else, deliver it. Don’t try to flog your own version of pink and purple crackers when it’s clear they want red and green • Think about the heart of your business, the social enterprise aspects. Who are you benefitting? How is it bigger than you? • Pay yourself first. Don’t plough all your profits back into the business • Learn how to do the things that don’t come naturally (like Rachel and her public speaking) so you end up enjoying rather than dreading them • Don’t expect your hopes and dreams to be served up on a plate. Work hard and persevere.
Rachel’s book, Business Nightmares (Crimson, 2008) is available through Amazon and good bookshops. Inspired by Napoleon Hill’s Mastermind Groups, Rachel’s starting her Inner Circle Mentoring programme this January. Visit her website – www.rachelelnaugh.com – to find out more about this as well as her low cost online business coaching service. You can also take her free online test to figure out which kind of entrepreneur you are.
rapport - Winter 2009/10
Creating Positive Choices in Desperate Circumstances In order to change the way in which we respond as a society to the needs of people with thoughts of suicide, attitudes and behaviours need to be transformed. Alan Briscoe and Joyce Borgs are Consulting Trainers with Mind Cymru’s Positive Choices Project. They provide training and coaching in suicide intervention methods to people working across the fields of health and social care. Here they describe their experience and the similarities they see with the four pillars of NLP.
very year in the UK nearly twice as many people die by suicide as are killed in road traffic accidents. For every suicide, there may be up to 100 times more who are injured by non-fatal suicidal behaviours. But this is just the tip of the iceberg: In any year, an estimated 5% of the population have thoughts of suicide. (Samaritans)
Imagine one day you are walking on the bank of a river, when you see someone in the water who is in trouble Imagine one day you are walking on the bank of a river, when you see someone in the water who is in trouble. How many of us would walk past saying that’s none of my business? Yet when it comes to someone thinking of suicide, someone who is in danger of being overwhelmed by the torrent of life, people can be reluctant to get involved. They might be scared of making things worse, not knowing what to do, feeling that it is someone else’s responsibility, even believing that it is futile to intervene because this person has made their mind up to die. In the UK alone, there are up to 3 million people in that river each year who are struggling to stay alive. In order to increase the numbers of people who are ready, willing
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and able to act as lifeguards on the riverbank, these negative and pessimistic attitudes must be transformed and behaviours changed. Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training (ASIST) is a 2 day workshop that offers intensive training for front-line workers and community members. The emphasis is on teaching suicide first-aid to help a person at risk stay safe and seek further help as needed. ASIST provides practical training for caregivers seeking to prevent the immediate risk of suicide. Working mostly in small groups of one trainer to no more than 15 participants, ASIST uses many different teaching processes to create a practice-oriented and interactive learning experience. While delivering these workshops over the last 3 years we have been struck by how the 4 pillars of NLP are integral to the process of the two days: using sensory acuity to be aware of self and others, building and maintaining rapport, creating behavioural flexibility, and setting outcomes. Many participants have both professional and personal experience of suicide, and can arrive at the workshop with feelings ranging from anxiety and
pessimism, to anger and sadness. Before the workshop can move forwards we must first acknowledge the emotions they are feeling. Sensory acuity is engaged: through facilitated discussions participants are given time to talk about their experiences; attitudes are not challenged but explored. This process allows participants to relax and park some of their anxieties, making room for them to begin looking at the suicide intervention model. From the outset it is made clear that suicide intervention is akin to first aid; the outcome is not to fix people or cure them but to reach out to someone in the river while calling for help. This setting of a realistic, achievable outcome further reduces anxiety and empowers participants. During the two days great emphasis is placed on group work so that participants feel the problem is shared and can learn from each other. As trainers our goal is to facilitate rapport through group work and exercises so that a trained counsellor or psychologist can learn as much from a night porter as vice versa.
the outcome is not to fix people or cure them but to reach out to someone in the river while calling for help Throughout the two days, after every exercise, participants are asked, “what did that feel like?” As trainers we are modelling some of the behaviour we expect of caregivers, paying attention to others’ inner state, while also getting participants to tune into their own experience. At the end of the first day they are given homework – to do something that evening which nourishes their soul or recharges their batteries. The important thing is that they pay conscious attention to how it feels in order to monitor inner states while promoting resilience-building behaviour. The training processes used are a mixture of Socratic and open questions, reflection, restatement and positive feedback. The goal is for participants to uncover their own innate wisdom about the needs of a person at risk. Clean language is used to check assumptions, while the use of running simulations help participants build an awareness of what they and the person at risk are feeling as the intervention progresses. Sensory acuity helps build rapport, while understanding our inner state can increase our choice of behaviour. An example of this is asking about suicide: it is not comfortable for any of us to ask another if they are having thoughts of killing themselves, so we may try to make it easier for ourselves by asking indirectly. This can even lead to the kind of question that sounds like “you’re not thinking of doing something stupid are you?” The intention is positive, but the message that is conveyed is that you really don’t want to talk about suicide. Through using running simulations, exploring states and asking open questions, participants uncover their own understanding of how internal programmes can conflict with the needs of the person at
risk and so adjust their behaviour accordingly. Our natural human instinct is to want to solve another’s problems. Most of the time this is an appropriate response, but for caregivers to a person at risk of suicide it can get in the way (if these problems were easily fixed, they wouldn’t be thinking of suicide). Instead participants learn that just listening to why someone is desperate, and acknowledging their reasons for wanting to die can create rapport and reduce the sense of isolation experienced by the person at risk. This acknowledgement is important: suicide is a way to achieve an outcome – often to get away from unbearable pain. The caregiver helps the person at risk assess if death is the most effective way of achieving that outcome. Their task is to create an opportunity for behavioural flexibility by relieving some of the stress and isolation – empowering the person at risk to see other options beside suicide. For us as trainers it is wonderful to see people access internal resources that have been left dormant by anxiety, stigma and fear, pessimism. At end of two days people leave in a state of connectedness, strength and hope and believe in their own power to go out and make a difference. We get lots of feedback from those who have used the model after the training, this is just one example: ‘I wanted to let you know how much your training helped me today. I was on the train home from visiting my mother when I saw that the lady sitting opposite me was crying. Normally I wouldn’t have said anything, scared that someone would think I was interfering, but as I sat there I kept remembering how on the ASIST course we
had learned about how important it is to follow your gut instinct – I mean, she just looked so upset. So I started talking to her, and she didn’t resent it at all, but seemed relieved to be able to talk to someone. When I asked her if she was thinking of killing herself, she just sat there nodding, for what seemed like ages and then looked at me and said thank you. In the past I would have been terrified of saying the wrong thing, but today I just followed what you showed us in the training. I felt really calm and focussed on her. We carried on talking – of course, I missed my stop, but she really needed someone and today that was me. It has made me realise how locked away in our own lives we can be, but how amazing it is to be there for someone else, even a complete stranger. Anyway thank you again, the training was absolutely fabulous, best course I’ve ever been on – and today I might have just saved a life.
In Wales Mind Cymru is providing community-wide training programmes to give those who want to make a difference the skills and confidence to get involved. The Positive Choices Project aims to train 13000 people in Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training (ASIST) by 2014. This is an established, award-winning, evidence-based training model that has been continuously developed over 25 years and is used world-wide to provide suicide intervention training to professionals and community members alike. To find out more visit www.asist-wales.org. uk or contact Alan Briscoe, Positive Choices Project Manager: firstname.lastname@example.org
rapport - Winter 2009/10
Language of symptoms Is your backache or migraine trying to get your attention? By Eve Menezes Cunningham
oes thinking of someone as “a pain in the neck” cause neck pain? Has feeling “pissed off ” ever coincided with cystitis? There are all sorts of ways our bodies and our language give us clues about how we could be feeling much better. People who literally don’t feel any pain are extreme but most of us can remember times when we’ve ignored what our body’s been trying to tell us. Whether it was over-riding hunger (or being full and continuing to eat), drinking more than we can handle, carrying on working, exercising or staying up in spite of tiredness. There are countless ways to set ourselves up for potential problems. Louise Hay, with her best-sellers Heal Your
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Life and Love Your Body revolutionised the way we think about illness and emotions. Many healing professionals now believe that symptoms are symbolic of deeper causes. Everything can be used as a metaphor, from feet and legs indicating fears about moving forward to stomach problems suggesting life feels overwhelming and, literally, impossible to digest. See the panel for some potential clues and, next time you’re aware of pain or discomfort, pay attention to see what messages it might have for you. “Our physical sensations can often be a good indication on how we truly feel about someone or our external environment,” says Lisa Clifford, a Psychotherapist who specialises in bodywork (www.bodymindmeetingplace. co.uk). “Be aware of your of how your body
feels as well as how you mentally react to a situation. Regular body sensing is a good idea, using meditation or breathing exercises. When you focus on the breath, it helps to declutter the mind. It will offer you a clearer relationship with how your body is feeling. Often, we get stuck in our heads and loose the relationship with our gut feelings. “The mind has a life time of memories and associations which stops us truly experiencing a new and fresh experience without the influence psychological ‘old baggage’. Somatic illnesses can often be that old baggage being stirred up and released through a physical symptom. Think of how you can suddenly get ill when you are obligated to something you really do not want to do.” According to Lisa, when this happens, the body may be trying to tell us that we don’t want to see a particular person or face a situation or even just need to learn how to say “no”. While this remains unconscious, our bodies can appear to sabotage us. But by tuning in and paying attention, you can start making changes to your life that will help your body stay healthy.
Get used to checking in with yourself and just asking yourself how you feel at random points throughout the day
What to do if something hurts This isn’t something to be done instead of seeking medical attention, but if it’s OK to sit with it, take some time to ask your ear / back or knee etc. “What are you trying to tell me?” Make a note of the first answer or image that pops into your head. Draw it if this feels easier. Once you’ve written or drawn as much as you need, sit with your handiwork and look at it. Without censoring yourself, think about the pain and images and think about your life. Does what you’ve written or drawn relate to a situation that’s been on your mind (or maybe, that you’ve been trying to not think about)? Get used to checking in with yourself and just asking yourself how you feel at random points throughout the day. It may be when you’re stuck in traffic (not while driving – please) / on a train or bus or even when you’re waiting for a slow document to load on your computer. Scan your body from head to toe and pay
attention to any tension, stresses, discomfort, pain. Allow yourself to feel. Think about what you can do to ease the tension (a little yoga? Making an appointment with your GP or massage therapist? Running yourself a hot bath at the earliest chance you get? Going for a swim / run / cycle? Having a conversation you’ve been putting off?). Are you hungry? Have you eaten or drunk something you know doesn’t agree with you? Make friends with your body. You’ll probably find that the kinder you are to it, the more picky it will become (whereas it used to let you get away with not exercising and eating junk for days on end before, it’ll tell you much sooner) but ultimately, you’re on the same side. We only have the one body. The earlier we can learn to give ours what it needs, the better off we’ll be well into old age.
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“Our physical sensations can often be a good indication on how we truly feel about someone or our external environment” - Lisa “The best example of how an emotion or a state of mind can affect the body is when someone has a panic attack,” says Lisa. “The attack is an expression of something in the mind that has not had a chance to be processed. The person having the attacks cannot understand how the environment around them can change from a familiar place to one which provokes deep fear and anxiety. The anxiety attack can result in a physical constriction of the body, through muscular tension as the body is in a state of panic.
“Anxiety attacks normally leave when a person has had a chance to bring some awareness to the original situation that brought about the feeling of fear. A body psychotherapist might consider that the deep rooted emotion associated with the past experience was not fully resolved. The body is stuck in a constant state of anxiety which is stimulated by different environmental or relational factors. The client needs to, in their own time, go through the physical process of feeling and releasing the anxiety
What might your symptoms be trying to tell you? HEADACHES – Do you feel like you’ve been banging your head against a brick wall? EYES – Is there something you wish you didn’t have to see? EARS – Something you don’t want to listen to? NOSE – Are you concerned about being nosy in some way? THROAT – Is there something you’re afraid of saying? NECK – Are you feeling vulnerable? Like you’re sticking your neck out? SHOULDERS – Are you feeling overly burdened by something? HEART – Have you experienced heartbreak? Do you feel like you have a heavy heart? ARMS – Is something feeling out of reach? STOMACH – Is there something you’re struggling to digest? Can’t even stomach? LEGS – Are you feeling tired with lots of legwork? FEET – Worried about putting your best foot forward? Moving in the wrong direction? Concerned about getting “cold feet”?
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whilst dipping in and out of the original trauma that caused the panic attack. “If emotions are not fully expressed and allowed to go through a cycle of being fully realised, felt and finally released, the body can hold on to that emotions through physical pain and tension.” Sometimes, the pain we experience physically gives us the impetus to get to the bottom of emotions we’ve been holding onto. If it weren’t for chronic pain, we might never delve deep enough.
Why Re-purpose when You can PRE-purpose! By Mindy Gibbins-Klein
ately I have heard a lot of people talking about ‘re-purposing’ marketing materials: turning articles into blogs and podcasts, books into speeches, speeches into books and every other imaginable combination. It all sounds good and you should have lots of different materials out in the market, but I have an even better idea. What about planning out every delivery mechanism for your message right from the start? That way, you can ensure that you have exactly the right content for each medium and save lots of editing time and effort. In nearly ten years of working with clients on writing and publishing strategies, the best example of this I have seen was a young speaker and author who needed to get a lot of exposure quickly. We built a content plan with
of course you can look at new ways to package them up, creating extra products and marketing tools. You can also start, wherever you are now, a new plan of deliverables for the next six to twelve months. From my experience, here is the quickest and easiest way to do this: 1. Identify your desired outcomes. Typically these are in the broad areas of awareness, influence and action. For example, do you want people to know about you, sign up to your list or buy something? 2. Give each of the outcomes a timescale. This is really important and it will guide you in terms of what to release into the market, and when.
Be disciplined and rigorous with your planning, and it will support you as you build your message and your profile as someone who knows what they are talking about. This kind of planning can be done anytime; I just find that it is more efficient to do it as early as possible so you can release the right products and messages into the market in the right way and at the right time. You get a whole lot of efficiency and a fabulous big picture so you know exactly where you’re heading. And you shouldn’t need to spend valuable time ‘re-purposing’ anything.
3. Look at the characteristics of your target market and ask yourself what they would really prefer. For example, if you have a primarily younger market, they usually want more online and fewer offline products.
You get a whole lot of efficiency and a fabulous big picture so you know exactly where you’re heading all of his objectives in mind, and highlighted right on the plan which items were intended to be articles, which were ebooks that stood on their own, and which were the beginning of keynote speeches. In the course of six months, he released 20 articles, a regular blog, three ebooks, one full-length book and several speeches of different lengths. And the best thing about it was that all of the messages hung together and supported each other, since they were part of the original plan. If you already have materials in the market,
give you enough material for an ebook or even a slim book in print. Minor ones can be articles, blogs or short podcasts.
4. Create a shortlist of products (such as ebooks, articles, books and speeches) that will help you reach the outcomes you identified and are suitable for the market you identified. Aim for two to three under each area.
5. Finally, plan your content. Start with a core message that you want to put out into the market. This message will run through everything you create, so take your time with it and get help and advice if you need it. Then, create lower level messages that will help you drive your main message home. Look at the scope of these messages and determine how much you have to say about each one. The ‘meatier’ ones will probably
Mindy Gibbins-Klein the UK’s leading writing and publishing strategist, best known as The Book Midwife and co-founder/director of Ecademy Press business publishing. Her mission is to create thousands of real thought leaders who will change business and society with their ideas. An international speaker, trainer and consultant with 20 years in marketing, training and coaching, and over 300 clients who have written and published excellent books and articles quickly using the Book Midwife methodology, Mindy writes and speaks to thousands of executives, business leaders and entrepreneurs each year about how to become a thought leader and turning expertise into enhanced credibility and more business.
rapport - Winter 2009/10
The Dolphin Approach to Achievement The Strategy of the Dolphin takes an apparently simple aquatic metaphor and applies it to the world of business as it was in 1989. This simple metaphor, though, is merely a gateway into a more complex theory of how human performance develops and how that affects our interactions. From the world of carp, sharks and dolphins we are projected into a spiral that seeks to explain our drive to selfactualise and our ability to envision the future. As with many metaphors, Andy Coote contends, the simple soon leads to more complex ideas.
n their 1989 book, The Strategy of the Dolphin, Dudley Lynch and Paul L Kordis introduce us to two basic strategies, the Carp and the Shark. Neither strategy is ideal, they contend. Carp tend to gather together ineffectually until sharks arrive and eat them. So maybe, becoming a shark is the right strategy? Actually, there are drawbacks to being a shark, too. Dolphins choose the best of each strategy for the circumstances and by doing so can resist and outthink sharks just as dolphins in the marine environment have been known to ‘see off ’ sharks. (see Box for ‘Testimonials’ of each type). You might be excused for thinking that an out of print book written 20 years ago and with such a simple premise would be irrelevant in the early 21st century. Yet it is still talked about today and the basic ideas have been taken forward in a set of resources and tools for maximising the way we use our brains. The book was aimed at business people working in big corporations with the intention of teaching them “an entirely different set of skills – the skills necessary in an era of unprecedented and revolutionary organisational change.” That change has continued until, in the early 21st century, we are seeing far more emphasis on entrepreneurship and smaller business. Alan Rae of Howtodobusiness.com works with entrepreneurs and small businesses. “The metaphor is useful for recognising the behaviour
patterns of people you are dealing with. If they are self-oriented and focused on results then they are probably sharks. Carp are more group oriented and interested in working together. They are often found in religious or family oriented occupations, in areas dedicated to service and in the caring professions. Their motto is ‘unless we all win, we all lose’.” Rae suggests that both these approaches have their limits. “Sharks often suffer from burnout and can become isolated. Carp can be ineffective and often don’t make things stick. Dolphins use both sides of their personality and both sides of their brain. The left side of the brain is oriented towards results and organisation and the right side towards patterns and relationships.” Maybe we need dolphins more now than we ever did. Especially as “they are interested expressing the self but not at the expense of everybody else around them.” Michael Mallows has views about the relevance that it might have for those of us involved with NLP. “I like the metaphor. It is easy enough for almost anyone to grasp. I also like the fact the metaphor allows the energy field of water to be involved. You can map the Strategy of the Dolphin onto the Drama Triangle of Transactional Analysis (TA) and on to NLP meta programs which I also call fundamental filters.” The categories, whilst simple, do encompass the types of people that we meet in business and in life. We all know sharks and carp and we also know, and may fondly believe that we are, dolphins. As there were in
Dolphins choose the best of each strategy for the circumstances
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BASIC TYPES Carp “I am a carp and I believe in scarcity. Because of this belief, I don’t expect ever to do or have enough. So if I can’t escape from learning and responsibility by staying away from it, I usually sacrifice myself.”
Shark “I am a shark and I believe in scarcity. Because of this belief, I intend to get as much as I can no matter what. First, I try to lick them, and if I don’t succeed, I try to join them.”
Dolphin “I am a dolphin, and I believe in potential scarcity and potential abundance. Since I believe that we can have either – that it is our choice – and that we can learn to leverage what we have and utilise our resources elegantly, I make flexibility and doing more with less the cornerstones of how I create my world.”
Pseudo-enlightened Carp ‘Pec’
Teaching them “an entirely different set of skills – the skills necessary in an era of unprecedented and revolutionary organisational change” 1989, there are also many Pseudo Enlightened Carps (PECS) around, too – looking for a greater force to provide abundance. I’m sure you’ve seen the messages that circulate offering a big something for virtually nothing. Mallows suggests that there may be PECS amongst NLP Practitioners and Master Practitioners. “I sometimes hear NLP trained people telling others ‘I’ve got no responsibility for what you feel’. If they fail to recognise that they are in a relationship and therefore that they are having an effect on the feelings of the other person, I would call this pseudo enlightened behaviour.” Michael Mallows talked to me about how the metaphor might map to NLP approaches. “Sharks seem to be running metaprograms based on similarity or either/or (rather than both/and) choices. Their well formed outcomes are based on preserving status quo and though their strategies will differ, of course, they would seem to be out to ‘win’ at the expense of others. Carp are more likely to be operating away from or similarity programs and their strategies are likely to be based on self-sacrificing (give in or get out). Pseudo Enlightened Carp have more flexibility, a broader perspective and are probably good at calibrating and rapport building. The dolphin will use a variety of meta programs more flexibly toward and away from, Both/and, Self and others, included. They have great rapport building skills." Underlying the metaphor is the concept of ‘waves’ of human and economic development tied into the Graves Spiral. Dr Clare W Graves was a contemporary of Abraham Maslow and developed a spiral of human development. It has been developed further by Don Beck and
“I am a PEC, and I believe in a universe of absolute abundance. Therefore I believe in no true evil and no true losers – it’s just a matter of time before everyone wins. Because my primary need is healing, I’m not comfortable with retaliation or escape, so I simply can’t demonstrate love with power. This makes me impotent and my impotence makes me angry, but since maintaining an image of spirituality is important to me, I express my anger covertly. I believe that all we really need to do in life is learn to let go, to flow, to let ourselves be a channel for a greater force, and this is how I justify my essence.” Source – The Strategy of the Dolphin, Dudley Lynch and Paul L Kordis (Hutchinson Business Books, 1989)
Christopher Cowan into Spiral Dynamics (SD). Lynch and Kordis acknowledge the support of Beck and Cowan in developing their own take on the spiral – a set of 7 ‘worldviews’ from Subsistence at level 1 to Choice-Seeker at level 7 and the possibility of further worldviews beyond that. (see Box – worldviews) Rae comments, “I like Dudley Lynch’s approach (to the Graves Spiral) because it gives small business owners a working model to understand customer behaviour in a way that is rich in information that is easy enough to understand. We all operate from two or three behaviour patterns within the spiral and these are the default positions we adopt when we are not concentrating on our behaviours. It’s important to know how people we are dealing with behave so that we can talk to them and work with them in a way that is effective.” Mallows agrees, “I see elements of explanation as to why people defend their own positions and ways of helping people to move away from those positions.” Both Mallows and Rae agree that part of the benefit also comes from knowing your own default positions. As Mallows sees it, “Most people are not self-aware and can’t self manage. Instead they find themselves self-medicating with alcohol and drugs. Knowing yourself better can lead to better relationships with others.” Lynch and Kordis also explore the concept of what George Bush snr famously called ‘the vision thing’ and link that to the Worldviews. The further up the spiral a person has moved, the further ahead they tend to be able to see. They also suggest approaches to outcome development – “if you could envison things any way you want it, how would you
rapport - Winter 2009/10
Dolphins use both sides of their personality and both sides of their brain Worldviews In the second half of the book, Lynch and Kordis introduce “The Pool,” a model of seven steps in human development. Directly referencing the work of the late Dr. Clare W. Graves, an American psychologist who studied the evolution of thinking skills and emotional and spiritual maturity, “The Pool” also incorporates the ideas of brain function by right-left and front-back brain concepts, linking these responses and behaviours to evolution of the human mind levels. The stages of evolution in “The Pool” are as follows:
Worldview 1: Existence. Lynch and Kordis barely describe this level, saying it is seldom encountered in the adult world, except in the mentally ill or senile.
Worldview 2: The Kinsperson have it?” – that have similarities to Well Formed Outcomes and the use of Timelines. – “You can take people on a walk into the future by coaxing them into the next ‘time horizon’” they say in the book. Rae adds a small caveat, “The CEO of a large company can take a view 20 to 30 years ahead whereas the MD of a smaller business may only be able to see two to three years ahead and maybe plan up to five. It is also a matter of scale and, in some small businesses, people don’t want to grow and are happy to stay where they are.” As well as examining the differences between left and right brain approaches, Lynch and Kordis also suggest that front and rear brain preferences are also possible, an approach which appears to be part science, part metaphor. They use this to create a framework of four sectors over which they can map an individual’s preferences using a survey tool. Rae explains, “Using the Mindmaker tool, you can begin to see the behaviours and tendencies of each of the categories of people and how they will react to each other. The output of the tool also gives good pointers as to which skills and abilities to develop. These are models which help you discover and classify behaviour and give you some predictive value as to how people work together.” Mallows also finds this approach useful, “The idea of the brain maps makes perfect sense to me. The idea that the frontal lobes represent looking forward into the future and the rear lobes of the brain are looking back towards childhood and history makes sense entirely.” Copies of the book can be found, though they are rarer these days. My copy came from an Ebay shop and Michael Mallows found his in a Library sell off of withdrawn books. Dudley Lynch has a web presence called ‘Brain Me Up’ which contains a number of resources including Mindmaker and his blog. There are other books by Dudley Lynch which I have not, as yet, read. Wikipedia has a good entry for the Strategy of the Dolphin and for more reading about Clare Graves and his Spiral approach to human development. The Strategy of the Dolphin is a product of its time and some of the more detailed ideas are now in need of an update. The metaphor, the Graves Spiral and the Brain mapping elements, however, still have applicability to current client work and would be an interesting and useful addition to a practitioners toolkit. As Mallows says, “I find that all of these types of models whether they be TA or NLP or other forms of therapeutic approach are simply ways of talking about what people do and can be very useful as a way of exploring and developing behaviours.”
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Lives sacrificially for the good of the family, tribe, clan, or group to gain security
Worldview 3: The Loner, Lives expressively for personal gratification and seeks personal mastery, as well as power and dominance over others.
Worldview 4: The Loyalist, Lives sacrificially within clearly defined rules and expectations to obtain stability and confirmation of existing beliefs
Worldview 5: The Achiever, Lives expressively for return on personal investments and to gain advancement of wealth and status
Worldview 6: The Involver, Lives sacrificially for helping and participatory situations to gain personal and group learning and growth.
Worldview 7: The Choice-Seeker, Lives expressively and experientially for high levels of freedom and personal choice, seeking stimulation and opportunities to enhance survival and quality of life for self and others. Each world view is a natural evolution from the previous one, as the previous strategy fails to meet some essential human need. All represent a right or left-brain focus, evolving from basic self-preservation to expansive action on the world. An example of such a transition is the movement of an alcoholic (Loner) to Alcoholics Anonymous (Loyalist), because the Loner state offers no stability or building of sustaining life equity. Adapted from Wikipedia entry ‘The Strategy of the Dolphin’ and from The Strategy of the Dolphin, Dudley Lynch and Paul L Kordis (Hutchinson Business Books, 1989)
Alan Rae specialises small company marketing. He has incorporated Dudley Lynch’s BrainMap and Graves Spiral tools into his marketing training courses and acts as distributor for these tools in the UK. More at www.howtodobusiness.co.uk Michael Mallows is an author, life coach and management consultant. More at www.craftylistening.co.uk
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NLP TURNED MY LIFE
UPSIDE DOWN M
y lawyer told me never to sign a blank piece of paper,” replied Richard Bandler with a look as if to say: ‘do you think I’m stupid?’ Blinking, I stared blankly back, I wasn’t expecting that reply. Not only was I dazed and mesmerised at meeting him in the flesh for the first time, I was rapidly accessing any part of my brain to help me say something…ANYTHING in the next few seconds. Think NLP, think outcomes, think flexibility. I need to change what I am doing… think, think, THINK!! A shuffling queue was forming behind me, so I blurted out, “What about if you sign over something I have written?” Well that’s not blank is it? Fumbling in my notepad to where I had written a few words, I thrust the page towards him in a desperate hope. Looking at me, he took the notepad, quickly scribbled his signature and handed it back. “Thank you. Can I have a photo as well?” Behind me I heard a sigh. Glancing over my shoulder I saw a growing line of people all equally as eager to meet the man himself in the short interval, and all waiting for me to move out the way. However THIS WAS IMPORTANT! Gazing back at Richard I didn’t need sensory acuity to tell by the look on his face that I was pushing the boundaries, but wasn’t this what his teachings were all about? I desperately wanted this man’s autograph and photo, and I felt practically ready to wrestle a lion in order to get it. The queue would just have to wait! Signalling for me to come and stand beside him, Richard agreed. Success! I stood beside him and grinned – there got it – mission accomplished. Scuttling away, with notepad
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and camera in hand I felt elated, giddy almost from my brush with Dr Bandler. For what reason was I so eager to meet this man, and be a part of his world for a few fleeting seconds? Simple: NLP has changed my life. Studying first my Practitioners and then my Master Practitioners at Isis NLP Training in Brighton I discovered a sun-dappled, glistening world of possibilities that made me feel as if I was coming home. Taking me by surprise the courses have untapped a potential I never knew existed, while placing in the palm of my hand the way through to reach and chase with energy whatever I put my mind to. NLP has helped me change the way I think, how I feel, enhanced my relationships on all levels and given me the tools to look my dreams in the eye and GO FOR THEM! This is why I was so driven to meet the man himself, even though my knees were knocking together (I hadn’t prepared for how he was going to make me feel) and ask for what I wanted…a memory of meeting with one of the most inspiring people of my lifetime. As the train swayed from side to side on the journey home, I was lulled back into the trance Richard Bandler’s charisma had cast upon me during the talk. Held in London, the two hour lecture had me hypnotised from word go, Richard layering his words like a blanket over the crowd. Contemplating the lecture I smiled sleepily at my notepad and ran my fingers over the words on which he had signed,
I felt practically ready to wrestle a lion in order to get it
I found that beyond my comfort zone and away from my sheltered life in the UK lay a world of infinite wonder and possibilities “Send UPSIDE DOWN off to Publishers.” This was my NLP notepad, a journal of ideas, visions and goals that I wanted to bring to fruition, all with the help of NLP. ‘Well it’s had the royal seal of approval now, it’s got to come true,’ I thought, as I watched the darkness pass by, reflecting on the moment and all its potential. That was in the autumn of 2007, and today after hard work, determination, a bag load of NLP tools to assist during moments of procrastination and self doubt, (oh and not forgetting a publisher), my first book ‘Upside Down’ is finally on sale. The book invites you to temporarily quit your 9-5 and travel down under with me, where the glorious blue skies and white golden beaches of Australia await. On one cold, grey Monday afternoon I made the decision to sell my house, give up my job and leave the UK with just a backpack as a companion. In a hazy mist of fear, I stepped as slowly as I could off the treadmill. Sailing into the unknown I began to explore the continent while drenching myself in the beauty of Australia. Uncovering magical sights under seamless clear skies, I found that beyond my comfort zone and away from my sheltered life in the UK lay a world of infinite wonder and possibilities. Touching the four corners of Australia, the book journals my adventures and discovery of unbounded beauty, exquisite freedom and untold choices I had never imagined possible. ‘Upside Down’ doesn’t question the ‘why’s’ it simply says ‘do it’. Something I have continued to practise even when I returned home a year later. My travels occurred before my NLP days, however I guess I subconsciously already knew some techniques, I just wasn’t aware or consistent in my application of them. Haphazard NLP might have been a more apt name. Here is an extract from my book where I successfully
change my state and overcome the fear and dread of walking alone at night in Australia’s finest bush. “My accommodation was a caravan, and although basic, it had electricity and running water. It was situated in the middle of these woods and a short walk from Mal’s wooden ‘shack’. In the evening, Mal would cook me dinner as part of the wwoofing deal. This however meant that I had to walk from my caravan to his shack, some five minutes away, IN THE PITCH BLACK, and that would also be ON MY OWN! We were in the middle of nowhere and the only light came from my very feeble torch and the moon, which wasn’t helping me too much behind the clouds. Honestly I was absolutely PETRIFIED. Mal had mentioned that as I walked over I should watch out for roos, as they might make me jump, if one came bounding towards me out of the darkness. Or wet myself ? So I had two types of deadly snakes to keep an eye out for, roos, spiders and God only knows what else. My imagination was getting the better of me as I set out on my first evening to Mal’s shack. I felt so exposed and so scared that the only thing I could think to do was sing. So I sang! I sang all the way to his place and breathed a sigh of relief when I arrived. We shared dinner together each evening and watched nature programmes or The Bill which they seem to love in Oz, and then stomach full I would leave the cosy warm shack and make my way back. I used to leave the light on in the caravan, so when it was time for me to leave, I could at least see in what direction I was heading. It was a small beacon of hope on the horizon of fear as I sang to myself all the way home. It just goes to show though if you work through your fear you do get used to it, so not only by day five could I stir up a devilish fire, I could also walk in the pitch black through the bush surrounded by things that could kill me and feel quite ok with it. Oh and did I mention I could mend tree nets…?” On becoming a NLP Master Practitioner, many people who are not aware of the field of NLP have quizzically asked me, “What can you do with that qualification then?” I always reply with the same twinkle in my eye, “Change my life.” ‘Upside Down’ is available to buy at www.amazon.co.uk www.waterstones.com www.pegasuspublishers.com To find out more about Georgina Carr visit www.upsidedown-georginacarr.com Her second book ‘Inside Out’ is due out soon, while she is currently writing her third book, 'Back to Front'.
rapport - Winter 2009/10
Living Through Paradox By Joe Cheal Have you ever been caught between a rock and hard place? Have you felt that you were damned if you did and damned if you didn’t? Have you ever found yourself going round in circles? Have you ever ended up with the opposite to what you actually intended?
elcome to the weird and wonderful world of Paradox! For many people, the word ‘paradox’ conjures up the kind of philosophical puzzles and linguistic playthings that make one’s head spin. Paradox can be confusing and contradictory and yet very simple, for example: Don’t read this sentence. In order to know what the sentence says, you have to read it, and then you find out that you are being told not to read it. Consider the road sign that reads: “This sign is not in use”. What are we meant to make of that? Beyond the curiosities of philosophical paradox there is something more significant
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that tends to affect each of us through life. We journey now to the realm of ‘social paradoxes’ and for many, these paradoxes are not at all amusing. Consider the person who doesn’t like their job but won’t leave in case they cannot find employment elsewhere. What about the husband or wife who stays in a less than pleasant relationship because they hope each day that their partner will be nicer. How about the divorced parents who both insist on trying to get their child to take sides? When it comes to everyday life, we have a rather rich vocabulary to describe these ‘social paradoxes’. We have words like: dilemmas, quandaries, double binds, contradictions, tensions, competing demands, conflicting priorities, mixed messages, incongruities, polar
opposites, vicious circles and interpersonal conflicts to name but a few. Our metaphors can also be a sign of paradox. Better the devil you know than the devil you don’t, bone of contention, catch 22, between the devil and deep blue sea, out of the frying pan and into the fire, double edged sword, on different wavelengths and at loggerheads. Do any of these sound familiar? But is paradox always negative? This is obviously an important question. One of the presuppositions of NLP is that every behaviour has a context in which is useful. Surely paradox can be useful too? Of course, we have ‘win/win’ which is a positive double bind and we have ‘virtuous circles’ which are constructive rather than destructive. The
thing to be careful of is that paradox, by its very nature, tends to limit options. A virtuous circle may be a positive merry-go-round but it is only truly helpful if we have the freedom to get off. The ecology (i.e. the thing to remember) here is that a paradox can be positive but it must have an exit route, otherwise it becomes another trap of limitations. Moving through paradox The first step in resolving a paradox is to understand it. Most paradoxes start with the polarity of an either/or; for example, to change career or to stay where I am. If you are unsure what the two opposing sides of your own polarities are, ask yourself: “What is this a tension between and how are those things different?” If you hear someone say: “It’s the gym or the sofa”, the word ‘or’ is the split point. If they say: “I ought to go to the gym but the sofa looks appealing”, the word ‘but’ indicates the two sides of the paradox. People will often use a different voice tonality and body language when talking about the two sides. Without identifying the two sides and resolving the paradox as a whole, we will tend to try and solve one side or the other. The problem with paradox is that when we try and resolve it this way, it will loop and flip and split and bring us back to where we started. The second step in resolving paradox is deciding what to do with it. Some paradoxes can be resolved by making a decision. For example, faced with two job opportunities you might choose one over the other because although it pays a little less, it is more local. However, other paradoxes may prove less easy to resolve by decision making and it may be that there is another solution that you hadn’t yet considered. Using the dilemma of ‘change career or stay where I am’, here are two techniques that might help you in exploring and resolving your own paradoxes. 1)The Continuum When someone gets themselves caught in ‘either/or’ they tend to see themselves limited to two options: Change Career
Stay Where I Am
By using the idea of the Continuum we allow for a range of possibilities in between the ‘either/or’, by changing it to ‘from/to’. This means rather than seeing the problem in terms of ‘black or white’ we can explore the grey areas in between. Write your own paradox
Have you ever been caught between a rock and hard place? down as above, placing each side in a circle some distance apart. Now draw a solid line from one to the other. Stay Where I Am
What does this immediately give you? What connections does this make? What other options are available to you now? How might it be for you that the two sides are interconnected and part of a greater whole? Change Career
Phased change? Part time?
Stay Where I Am
What of the ‘change career/stay where I am’ continuum? What ideas does this stimulate? Could it be a phased change, using the job I’m doing now to get training for my new career? Could I stay where I am part time while establishing my new career? 2) The Synthesis. Another way of shifting beyond ‘either/or’ is to use ‘both/and’. The idea of the Synthesis approach is where we take a ‘thesis’ and its ‘antithesis’ (opposite) and transcend both to create a third way. Where the Continuum is one dimensional, the Synthesis creates a second dimension, allowing for even more possibilities.
Stay Where I Am
There are many ways of creating the Synthesis and in NLP of course, we have the visual squash (a technique for creating a third option that meets the positive intentions of both sides). An alternative is to get a blank piece of paper and answer the following question for each side of the dilemma, writing the answers randomly around on the paper:
Good Atmosphere Creative Problem Solving New Challenges
“What would I gain from this option?” By answering the question for both sides, you are capturing the full set of positive intentions. By intermingling the answers, you are leading to a synthesis. What alternatives does this give you? What other options are available to you now? What third solution might meet the positive intentions? If necessary, score each of the positive intentions on a scale of 1 to 5 where 1 is less important and 5 is most important. Then look at your 4s and 5s to generate a third way. And what about our original example, how might I stay where I am and change my career? Might there be other opportunities in the same company I work for? The important thing to remember is that these ‘paradox management’ techniques are designed to stimulate more options, rather than solve the problem for you. They are the ‘strike pad’ for your match… to ignite innovation. If a problem won’t go away, it is likely to have a paradox underlying it. By understanding the nature of social paradox and methods of resolving it, we can clean up some of the most stubborn of issues.
The Author Joe Cheal has been working with NLP since 1993. As well as being a licensed trainer of NLP, he holds an MSc in Organisational Development and Neuro-linguistic Technologies, a degree in Philosophy and Psychology, and diplomas in Coaching and in Ericksonian Hypnotherapy, Psychotherapy and NLP. Joe is currently writing a book about paradox management called “Solving Impossible Problems” and the key findings of his MSc dissertation have been published in the journal: Current Research in NLP: vol 1 - Proceedings of 2008 Conference. Other research and articles on paradox and NLP can be found at www.gwiztraining.com. Joe is a partner in the GWiz Learning Partnership, working as a Management & Organisational Development Specialist, focusing over 16 years training, coaching and consultancy experience into the business environment. To contact him, email: email@example.com.
rapport - Winter 2009/10
Modelling Skills in Recruitment A study by Ellie Moseley BACKGROUND When I chose a subject for my modelling project I couldn’t really have picked a better one without having a crystal ball. At that time I was not aware of the impending recession and the impact it would have on the labour market. I was just a NLP student and an employment consultant who was worried she wasn’t getting the results she used to. I decided to do something about it. Whilst studying for a Master Practitioner qualification with Zetetic in early 2008 I had just started working as an employment consultant for a company called Working Links. At the time I was supporting ex offenders into work, and my particular speciality was ex offenders with long term health issues. Prior to this I had worked as an employment advisor in a ’deprived’ area and I enjoyed great success. Having supported many people into sustainable jobs, I believed that my skills would easily transfer to a more specialised client group. I soon found that this was not immediately the case. I enjoyed my job with Working Links immensely but after my first full quarter of employment I had not moved many people into work. I would like to say that this was because I was given unreasonable targets to achieve, but this was not the case. Each consultant was expected to move 4 people into work a quarter and I only achieved 3. The rationale for the low targets was based on the difficulties associated with moving this particular client group into work. We were also expected to achieve other outcomes such as moving people into training, promoting personal development and ensuring that they were placed into sustainable work. I exceeded my outcomes in these ‘supplementary’ areas. AIM AND OBJECTIVES I grabbed the opportunity to use my modelling project to identify, observe and absorb the skills of employment consultants who I knew to be achieving excellent results. My aim was to develop and maintain excellence in the field of employment related support and as I was already achieving great results in the aforementioned supplementary areas I decided to achieve this excellence by focusing on increasing the amount of people I moved into work. My objectives were to move 4 people into work by the end of my second quarter and to move more than 4 people into work by the end of the third quarter. PROCESS I began by identifying three exemplars, and it is important to realise that I did not just pick people whose work I admired. I focused solely on those
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I grabbed the opportunity to use my modelling project to identify, observe and absorb the skills of employment consultants who I knew to be achieving excellent results people who excelled at achieving job outcomes and it is fair to say that I disliked some aspects of the way the exemplars operated. I precisely sought out three people who I knew to have completely differing, and sometimes clashing styles because I really wanted to challenge the modelling process to find a level of consistency between them. Because it seemed so unlikely I knew that I would trust this consistency if I found it. RESULTS Not only did I meet my objectives but I smashed them within 6 months. In table 1 (below) you will see that that my job outcomes more than doubled in the 2nd quarter and then increased by over 400% in the 3rd quarter. Although these figures illustrate my success they say nothing about the strategy that elicited them and I shall move onto this next.
Job Outcomes 14 12 10 8 6
4 2 0 Expected outcomes
Baseline (1st qtr outcomes)
2nd targeted qtr
Table 1 Job Outcomes During Modelling Project
3rd targeted qtr
STRATEGY The four step strategy that I extracted is as follows: 1. Start with the Positive Belief that the person you are supporting can achieve their goal. This seems like a no brainer doesn’t it? Well maybe not. I don’t know about you but I have come across far too many practitioners, none more so prevalent than in addiction support services (in which I used to work), who don’t even like their clients let alone believe in their ability to change. How can anyone expect a positive outcome for a client if they can’t even hold a positive thought about them? And what about the rest of us that are able to hold Positivity? Are there not times when this is tested for all of us? We can’t like and respect everyone who walks through our door but what we can do is be aware when we are experiencing this and consider how effective we will be with this particular person; Can we shift the way we think? Positivity and a ‘Can Do’ attitude is infectious for even the most entrenched of clients. Be authentic in your interactions and if you cannot carry Positivity in your authenticity then you maybe it is time to move on. 2. Focus your attention on the most motivated even though they are sometimes the least job ready. Early on in the project it was very tempting for me to assume that the whole strategy was about holding Positive Belief because it seemed nice and easy, simplistic and idealistic. Something in my gut told me that there was more and so I started searching for another exemplar. This time I observed someone who was renowned for her unerring Positivity. She believed that everything was possible for anyone who walked through her door but she worked in a scattered way and spent far too much time trying to be all things to everyone. Compared to her peers she got substantially less job outcomes and so I knew that Positivity was not the whole picture. As I observed the main three exemplars I noticed that they all focused their attention to where it would have best effect. Standard training on how to prioritise and manage caseloads tell you to focus on the most ‘job ready‘. What constitutes a job ready person is highly subjective but suffice it to say that it is the jobseeker with the least practical barriers to overcome. Through my observations I have found that this is completely the wrong focus and that we need to work most closely with those who are the most motivated even when they have the biggest barriers. Strong focus will overcome the most complex of issues where weak focus will not overcome the smallest. 3. Work to a mutually agreed plan of action which is reviewed regularly and is able to accommodate change. So you have identified those who are most motivated to change. Then what? You have to make a plan of action, one that sets out who is to do what and when. One that ensures the jobseeker is given the opportunity to succeed, to build confidence. The steps within must tread a careful balance of achievable but challenging and you must never promise what you cannot deliver. This action plan should grow as time moves forward and steps not achieved should be seen as an interesting topic for discussion rather than a reason to scold or nag. A task centred approach is a skill that can be easily learnt but excellent employment consultants display a natural solution focused orientation and see barriers only as perceptual shifts waiting to happen. By working to a goal orientated and a mutually agreed action plan which is reviewed at regular intervals you will ensure that that the jobseeker takes more and more responsibility for achieving their vision. This will consistently check
Positivity and a ‘Can Do’ attitude is infectious for even the most entrenched of clients
motivation and increase the jobseekers confidence as they take control. 4. Be able to hold Positive Belief throughout the whole process, especially when the jobseeker is unable to. We talked about the value of Positivity earlier but it is worth considering what happens if your Positivity falls by the wayside. The amount of time a person takes to find work does vary and there will often be occasions when you find yourself working with someone for a long time, or with people who come back through the ‘system‘. It is at these times that it can be the most difficult to hold Positivity but it is at these times that it is most vital that you do. When we work with people to find work, or indeed achieve any goal, we need to keep their dream in sight and at times when the client finds this difficult it is our job to hold it for them. We cannot do this without belief and the moment we don’t believe the client will know. CONCLUSION If you are reading the above and saying to yourself ’That’s Obvious!’ then you are right because is it is obvious, but ask yourself this…. are you perfect all the time? The answer is possibly ‘no’ and if this is the case then you have probably experienced times when you have been less than successful with certain people. When I started this modelling project I considered myself to be a successful and professional employment consultant who could rise to any challenge yet I still found myself to be lacking when I started working with ex offenders. In retrospect I can see that the Positivity I had carried with me in previous jobs was marred by the unconscious belief that employers would never hire ex offenders over someone who had kept out of trouble. My success shows me that this just isn’t true. Not only has this modelling project allowed me to develop ways to shift my perception and therefore become an excellent employment consultant but I also find myself wondering if this strategy might be helpful to anyone who works in any kind of goal setting field.
rapport - Winter 2009/10
TRAINING & WORKSHOPS
The Changing World of
NLP TRAINING By Lisa Wake
There is an increasing evidence base for NLP as an applied psychology
LP is a dynamic, creative and exciting field to be working in. I personally have had the pleasure of working in this particular field since 1997 and during this time I have seen it change, go through highs and lows and have seen training companies and courses come and go. So, what makes the difference? Like a lot of training organisations, at Awaken we offer NLP at all levels, from Introductory courses through to Trainers Training. The difference that I make to the NLP field is that I have consciously chosen an academic leaning to our programmes and each of our NLP programmes is eligible for credits towards an MA in Coaching and NLP via our partnering relationship with The Performance Solution. Additionally, we have been successful in having our Supervision and Safe Practice courses recognised for credits towards the MA in Coaching and Supervision via the same route. In the business field, we have an active series of in-house programmes for a number of different organisations and are currently running NLP Practitioner programmes for high performing managers within Northern Foods. Through our sister company, Awaken School, we are also able to offer full accreditation with
Winter 2009/10 - rapport
UKCP (UK Council for Psychotherapy) again with an academically rigorous pathway. In this article I will reflect on some of the drivers that I think are influencing the shape of NLP training courses, recognising that this is only my subjective reality and there are many more realities out there. Included are my thoughts on wider aspects including considering outcomes in training. I will also discuss assessment of students including levels of competence and confidence, and responsibility of trainers for carrying forward the philosophy and attitude of NLP. Drivers for Change The wider field of what might be referred to as the ‘talking therapies’ is changing and I include in this area any process of generating change in a client through linguistic interchange. Psychologists are now regulated via the Health Professions Council and the Government are currently consulting on the regulation of psychotherapy and counselling. The Association for Coaching held a seminar on 16th November to discuss the implications of statutory regulation on coaching and ANLP has set up a group to discuss this issue and to represent ANLP in this wider debate (Please contact ANLP if you are interested in supporting this work). So whether NLPers like it or not, the debate is happening. Another driver for change is the expanding market place. There are many NLP training companies and in reviewing available courses it is obvious that the range of programmes, depth of learning, levels of underpinning knowledge,
pricing, course numbers and content covered is vast. I personally think this is great, the more companies there are the more likely a customer will find a fit to their specific needs. Training companies who are clear about what they do and don’t offer seem to survive better during recessions and since NLP is about modelling excellence and finding the difference that makes the difference, the more that companies can identify and communicate this, the easier it is for them to fulfil the needs of prospective clients. There is an increasing evidence base for NLP as an applied psychology. ANLP have published the proceedings from the first international NLP Research Conference, and a second conference is planned for July 2010 in Cardiff. We hope to see many more papers coming through on research in the field. Prospective students are frequently being asked to provide evidence of NLP’s efficacy before they are funded to attend a programme. The same applies for Corporations, if they are going to invest time, money and employees to attend programmes they want to know that it works. Outcomes in Training Prior to any training I always think about my outcomes. What do I want to achieve for me, for each individual student, for the group of students as a whole, for the field of NLP? Although I can only be responsible for my own outcomes and no-one else’s, I am responsible as a Trainer to ensure that I have a clearly defined outcome for each student that is within my responsibility. I am also responsible for the outcome of delivering the group to a place where learning can be achieved towards measurable outcomes. We encourage students to think about their own outcomes prior to attending the programme and, in the case of accelerated in-house programmes, their outcomes for the pre-course work. We also spend time at the
TRAINING & WORKSHOPS
beginning of the course and during the course itself to revisit and refine outcomes. Many students find that they have achieved their outcome during the course itself, so it is important that they are encouraged to think about the wider and longer term goal. We had one student who set a goal on day 1 to gain a promotion and was sensory specific about their evidence procedure. The student achieved this in an unexpected way between modules and then was too busy to complete the course! Goal achieved!! Be very certain, the funder will have an outcome, and where there is funding via public bodies, such as Train to Gain, European funding streams etc, it is the responsibility of the training organisation to ensure that the learning outcomes are clearly identified and measurable. If you want repeat business, ensure you meet clients outcomes!! At Awaken, we have mapped the learning outcomes of our programmes against key criteria such as the NHS Knowledge and Skills Framework, and the Social and Emotional Approaches to Literacy competencies for teachers, as well as the learning outcomes required by UKCP and the Masters programmes that our courses feed into. If you are delivering in-house programmes, the Company will have very clear outcomes for the programme, cost/benefit, KPI targets, the bottom line. Whatever they call it, identifying the outcome and specific criteria for selecting delegates onto programmes is part of what makes repeat work more likely. In some instances this has included mapping outcomes against a Leadership Competency Framework, which will take some time and is worth doing in the long run. Assessing Students If outcomes are clearly identified at individual student and course level it makes it much easier to assess students. Because our programmes are recognised for credits towards an MA and also for UKCP accreditation, we are very specific about our assessment criteria. Students experience ongoing assessment and feedback, both written and verbal. Additionally, all students are required to submit a 3,000 word essay that includes a critical appraisal of NLP from their own model of the world. We encourage this as we consider that the more a student can critique NLP, the more their learning will be considered credible as they go back into their real world. We also require students to be examined in an ‘in-vivo’ coaching session
which has a pass/fail component. We need to see evidence that a student can apply the skills in a ‘live’ coaching situation to validate to ourselves that the student has a level of competence that exceeds their confidence. Like a car driving test, we want to be sure that
a student is safe to be let out onto the road, because when confidence exceeds competence we frequently see a student who does not adhere to the presuppositions of NLP and that reflects badly on NLP in general, and you as a training provider. Our assessment process is exactly the same for in-house programmes. What we have discovered is that companies welcome the opportunity to have a series of case studies of how the skills have been used within the organisation from the essays that are submitted. Not all students pass and we make this clear from the outset that only students who meet the objective criteria will achieve certification status. This is not always a comfortable option for a training company, particularly as we use external paid assessors for the written component of the programme. This provides us with an external quality assurance process. What we are also very clear about is tasking students to meet the criteria that we have set and we provide full support to students to enable them to meet this requirement up to and including retaking the whole programme. This is always provided at no additional financial outlay for the student. Responsibility of Trainers for the philosophy and attitude of NLP NLP is a dynamic model as well as being a model of excellence. With this in mind, Trainers of NLP are responsible for carrying this philosophy and attitude forward. When you are sitting in your NLP trainer chair, what attitude do you have in your head? Do you think of yourself as the ‘expert’, the person
who knows everything and is just delivering another in a long line of programmes? Or do you get excited by the prospect of learning and are really interested in how your students will apply NLP in their world because you never know what you might learn? I would recommend that Trainers keep up to date with the field and bring their training into line with the existing and developing evidence base to ensure that NLP can be recognised as a credible and viable approach to performance excellence. Or to put it another way, when was the last time you updated your manual, whether due to something you read or even to student feedback? The attitude of curiosity that Bandler identified and modelled is a must in the tool kit of any NLP trainer, and I would suggest that it is not just about NLP but also where NLP fits in the wider scheme of things. Added to this is ‘respect for others model of the world’ and I think NLP would be better served if it respected and responded to the drivers for change that I have outlined at the beginning of this article. For NLP and NLP training to survive and grow, it needs to find a place amongst other psychological tools and rather than being a maverick sitting on the outside of mainstream, it can perhaps use the evidence base that is beginning to be built up, to sit alongside other approaches that currently attract so much funding and attention.
Lisa Wake is Director of Awaken Consulting & Training Services Ltd and Awaken School of Outcome Oriented Psychotherapies Ltd. Lisa@awakenconsulting.co.uk www.awakenconsulting.co.uk and www.awakenschool.co.uk Lisa is a Master Trainer of NLP, has an MSc in Advanced Clinical Practice focussing on NLP as a psychotherapy, and is author of ‘Neurolinguistic Psychotherapy: A Postmodern Perspective’: Routledge 2008, and ‘The Role of Brief Therapy in Attachment Disorders’: Karnac in press for 2010.
rapport - Winter 2009/10
Diary of Events for Winter/Spring 2010 January 10 NLP Trainer Training 1/1/10 India - Kerala Sue Knight +441628 604438 firstname.lastname@example.org NLP Master Practitioner India 1/1/10 India - Kerala Sue Knight +441628 604438 email@example.com NLP Practitioner 8/1/10 Chichester - West Sussex Katherine Bird 01243 792122 katherine.bird@evolutiontraining. co.uk NLP Practitioner Inverness:Module 4 9/1/10 Inverness Rosie O'Hara 01309 676004 firstname.lastname@example.org
NLP Master Practitioner Course - including 4 certifications!! 14/1/10 London Osmaan Sharif 0845 652 6123/0141 412 6123 email@example.com Introduction to NLP 14/1/10 Peterborough Alison Matthews 020 7708 1864 / 07976 246151 alison.matthews@sensabilityuk. co.uk NLP Practitioner with leading International Trainer 15/1/10 Midlands Ralph Watson 0844 3572865 ralph@dynamic-communication. com NLP Diploma 15/1/10 Harpenden- Hertfordshire Phillippa Mole 01582 621373 firstname.lastname@example.org
Ultimate Leader 11/1/10 Bristol John Seymour 0845 658 0654 email@example.com
GWiz Practitioner Certificate Weekend Modular 16/1/10 Bedfordshire Melody Cheal 01767 640956 firstname.lastname@example.org
NLP Diploma for Healthcare Professionals 11/1/10 Dolgellau Royal Ship Donna Blinston 01341 450663 donna.blinston@ inspirationalsolutions-nlp.co.uk
INLPTA Trainers Training 19/1/10 North Yorkshire Susi Strang Wood MRCGP 01287 654175 email@example.com
The Communication Path Step 1 13/1/10 Bristol Karen Meager 01749 687 102 karen@monkeypuzzletraining. co.uk An Introduction to iWAM 13/1/10 Wiltshire Sally Vanson 01225 867285 enquiries@ theperformancesolution.com NLP Taster Day 13/1/10 Milton Keynes Pip Thomas & Faz Colbhie 02031 450698 nudge@edgeNLP.co.uk An Actors Guide to Survival using NLP 13/1/10 London Alison Matthews 020 7708 1864 / 07976 246151 alison.matthews@sensabilityuk. co.uk
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Introduction to NLP 20/1/10 Exeter Chris Menlove-Platt 07890 306896 firstname.lastname@example.org Excellence in Communication 20/1/10 London Alison Matthews 020 7708 1864 / 07976 246151 alison.matthews@sensabilityuk. co.uk Fast-Track NLP Master Practitioner: Module 1 21/1/10 London Jeremy Lazarus 020 8349 2929 email@example.com NLP Practitioner 21/1/10 Chichester- West Sussex Katherine Bird 01243 792122 katherine.bird@evolutiontraining. co.uk Effective Interview Skills 21/1/10 London Alison Matthews 020 7708 1864 / 07976 246151 alison.matthews@sensabilityuk. co.uk
INLPTA Certified Practitioner of NLP 22/1/10 Staveley - Nr. Kendal Paul McGowran 1539822853 paul@lakelandpeopledevelopment. co.uk NLP Introduction Day 23/1/10 Centre Aum - Kings HeathBirmingham Kim Phillips 01386 861916 firstname.lastname@example.org GWiz NLP Master Practitioner - Intensive 23/1/10 Bedfordshire Melody Cheal 01767 640956 email@example.com Intensive ABNLP 7 day NLP Practitioner Course 24/1/10 Milton Keynes Pip Thomas & Faz Colbhie 02031 450698 nudge@edgeNLP.co.uk ACCELERATED NLP Practitioner Certification 25/1/10 Nottingham Colette White 0800 0433 657 or from outside the UK call +44 (0)207 249 5051 firstname.lastname@example.org NLP Business Communications 26/1/10 Bristol John Seymour 0845 658 0654 email@example.com Chichester Practice Group 26/1/10 Chichester - West Sussex Emily Terry 01243 792122 firstname.lastname@example.org Business Communications 26/1/10 Bristol John Seymour 0845 658 0654 email@example.com Free NLP Evening Talk 27/1/10 London Robbie Steinhouse 44 (0) 207 428 7915 firstname.lastname@example.org Essential NLP for Business Success 27/1/10 London Jeremy Lazarus 020 8349 2929 email@example.com
NLP Diploma (INLPTA certified) 28/1/10 Stirling - Scotland Karen Meager 01749 687 102 karen@monkeypuzzletraining. co.uk
Ultimate Manager 4/2/10 Bristol John Seymour 0845 658 0654 firstname.lastname@example.org
iWAM for Existing Extended DISC Customers 28/1/10 Wiltshire Sally Vanson 01225 867285 enquiries@ theperformancesolution.com
NLP Trainers Training Open Day 4/2/10 London Jeremy Lazarus 020 8349 2929 email@example.com
NLP Learning Forum & Practice Group- Bradford - West Yorkshire 28/1/10 Heaton Mount- Executive Management Centre - Keighley Road- Bradford Kevin Downsworth 01274 585160 kdownsworth.firstposition@ blueyonder.co.uk Perfect Your Presentation Skills 28/1/10 London Alison Matthews 020 7708 1864 / 07976 246151 alison.matthews@sensabilityuk. co.uk NLP/HNLP Master Practitioner 29/1/10 Golborne - Warrington Tiffany Kay 0845 833 8831 firstname.lastname@example.org NLP Practice Group for Practitioners and above 30/1/10 London Jeremy Lazarus 020 8349 2929 email@example.com
February 10 NLP Trainer Training with Dr Christina Hall 1/2/10 Holiday Inn Hotel - Leicester City Centre Jamie Smart 0845 650 1045 firstname.lastname@example.org The art of a work life balance 3/2/10 Bristol Karen Meager 01749 687 102 karen@monkeypuzzletraining. co.uk INLPTA Diploma in NLP 3/2/10 Staveley - Nr. Kendal Paul McGowran 1539822853 paul@lakelandpeopledevelopment. co.uk Voice of Influence 4/2/10 Hammersmith- London Judy Apps 01306 886114 email@example.com
NLP for Business 4/2/10 London Alison Matthews 020 7708 1864 / 07976 246151 alison.matthews@sensabilityuk. co.uk NLP Practitioner with leading International Trainer 5/2/10 Midlands Ralph Watson 0844 3572865 ralph@dynamic-communication. com NLP Practitioner Course Aberdeen 6/2/10 Aberdeen Rosie O'Hara 01309 676004 firstname.lastname@example.org Andrew T Austin- Creating Excellence in Therapeutic Change 6/2/10 HARROGATE - Majestic Hotel alan johnson 01609 778543 email@example.com Your Wellbeing at Work 9/2/10 Stirling - Scotland Karen Meager 01749 687 102 karen@monkeypuzzletraining. co.uk Accredited NLP Practitioner (INLPTA) 11/2/10 St. Michael's College - Llandaff - Cardiff Andy Garland +44 (0)800 612 2878 firstname.lastname@example.org INLPTA Accredited NLP Diploma Module 1 of 2 13/2/10 Gloucester- Gloucestershire Reb Veale +44(0)7790885086 email@example.com NLP Practitioner Inverness: Module 5 13/2/10 Inverness Rosie O'Hara 01309 676004 firstname.lastname@example.org
NLP Business Practitioner 15/2/10 Bristol John Seymour 0845 658 0654 email@example.com
Relaxation & Meditation: Session 1 of 8 24/2/10 Buxton - Derbyshire (SK17) Diane Oxborough 01298 72907 firstname.lastname@example.org
INLPTA Practitioner Module 1 4/3/10 Gloucestershire- Midlands- South West Reb Veale +44(0)7790885086 email@example.com
Extended DISC Certification Enhancing Individual Performance 16/2/10 Wiltshire Sally Vanson 01225 867285 enquiries@ theperformancesolution.com
Emotional Intelligence Toolkit 25/2/10 Hammersmith London Judy Apps 01306 886114 firstname.lastname@example.org
Relaxation & Meditation: Session 2 of 8 4/3/10 Chesterfield- Derbyshire (S40) Diane Oxborough 01298 72907 email@example.com
NLP Coaching Masterclass 16/2/10 India - Kerala Sue Knight +441628 604438 firstname.lastname@example.org Extended DISC Certification Enhancing Team Performance 17/2/10 Wiltshire Sally Vanson 01225 867285 enquiries@ theperformancesolution.com Coaching with NLP Practitioner: Module 1 18/2/10 Exeter Chris Menlove-Platt 07890 306896 email@example.com NLP Diploma (INLPTA certified) 18/2/10 Bristol Karen Meager 01749 687 102 karen@monkeypuzzletraining. co.uk Intensive NLP Practitioner Course - 7 days - ABNLP Certified 20/2/10 London Osmaan Sharif 0845 652 6123/0141 412 6123 firstname.lastname@example.org INLPTA Accredited NLP Diploma Module 2 of 2 20/2/10 Gloucester - Gloucestershire Reb Veale +44(0)7790885086 email@example.com Modular INLPTA Master Practitioner Programme 23/2/10 North Yorkshire Susi Strang Wood MRCGP 01287 654175 firstname.lastname@example.org
Relaxation & Meditation: Session 1 of 8 25/2/10 Chesterfield- Derbyshire (S40) Diane Oxborough 01298 72907 email@example.com ACCELERATED NLP Practitioner Certification 27/2/10 London Colette White 0800 0433 657 or from outside the UK call +44 (0)207 249 5051 firstname.lastname@example.org NLP Taster Day 27/2/10 Milton Keynes Pip Thomas & Faz Colbhie 02031 450698 nudge@edgeNLP.co.uk Accelerated Certificate in Executive Coaching 27/2/10 Bath Sally Vanson 01225 867285 enquiries@ theperformancesolution.com
March 10 NLP Practitioner Certification 1/3/10 North Yorkshire Susi Strang Wood MRCGP 01287 654175 email@example.com Ultimate Manager 2/3/10 Bristol John Seymour 0845 658 0654 firstname.lastname@example.org Excellence in Communication 2/3/10 London Alison Matthews 020 7708 1864 / 07976 246151 alison.matthews@sensabilityuk. co.uk
NLP Taster Day 24/2/10 Milton Keynes Pip Thomas & Faz Colbhie 02031 450698 nudge@edgeNLP.co.uk
Relaxation & Meditation: Session 2 of 8 3/3/10 Buxton - Derbyshire (SK17) Diane Oxborough 01298 72907 email@example.com
The art of a work life balance 24/2/10 Stirling - Scotland Karen Meager 01749 687 102 karen@monkeypuzzletraining. co.uk
Effective Interview Skills 3/3/10 London Alison Matthews 020 7708 1864 / 07976 246151 alison.matthews@sensabilityuk. co.uk
NLP Practitioner with leading International Trainer 5/3/10 Midlands Ralph Watson 0844 3572865 ralph@dynamic-communication. com NLP Practitioner Course Aberdeen 6/3/10 Aberdeen Rosie O'Hara 01309 676004 firstname.lastname@example.org Relaxation & Meditation: Session 3 of 8 10/3/10 Buxton - Derbyshire (SK17) Diane Oxborough 01298 72907 email@example.com INLPTA Master Practitioner Module 1 11/3/10 Gloucestershire - Midlands - South West Reb Veale +44(0)7790885086 firstname.lastname@example.org Relaxation & Meditation: Session 3 of 8 11/3/10 Chesterfield - Derbyshire (S40) Diane Oxborough 01298 72907 email@example.com NLP Practitioner: Module 1 (INLPTA Certified) 11/3/10 Stirling- Scotland KarenÂ Meager 01749 687 102 karen@monkeypuzzletraining. co.uk Coaching with NLP Practitioner: Module 2 11/3/10 Exeter Chris Menlove-Platt 07890 306896 firstname.lastname@example.org NLP Practitioner Inverness: Module 6 13/3/10 Inverness Rosie O'Hara 01309 676004 email@example.com NLP: The Secret Behind 13/3/10 Golborne- Warrington Tiffany Kay 0845 833 8831 firstname.lastname@example.org
ACCELERATED NLP Master Practitioner Certification 14/3/10 London Colette White 0800 0433 657 or from outside the UK call +44 (0)207 249 5051 email@example.com
NLP for Business 23/3/10 London Alison Matthews 020 7708 1864 / 07976 246151 alison.matthews@sensabilityuk. co.uk
Introducing NLP (Stage One) 15/3/10 Henley on Thames UK Sue Knight 01628 604438 firstname.lastname@example.org
Setting and getting your Goals 24/3/10 Bristol Karen Meager 01749 687 102 karen@monkeypuzzletraining. co.uk
Relaxation & Meditation: Session 4 of 8 17/3/10 Buxton - Derbyshire (SK17) Diane Oxborough 01298 72907 email@example.com
Perfect Your Presentation Skills 24/3/10 London Alison Matthews 020 7708 1864 / 07976 246151 alison.matthews@sensabilityuk. co.uk
NLP Taster Day 17/3/10 Milton Keynes Pip Thomas & Faz Colbhie 02031 450698 nudge@edgeNLP.co.uk
Relaxation & Meditation: Session 5 of 8 24/3/10 Buxton - Derbyshire (SK17) Diane Oxborough 01298 72907 firstname.lastname@example.org
Relaxation & Meditation: Session 4 of 8 18/3/10 Chesterfield - Derbyshire (S40) Diane Oxborough 01298 72907 email@example.com NLP Master Practitioner course: guest trainers Stephen Gilligan & Shelle Rose Charvet 18/3/10 Central London Robbie Steinhouse 44 (0) 207 428 7915 firstname.lastname@example.org Fast-track NLP Sports Practitioner: Module 1 20/3/10 London Jeremy Lazarus 020 8349 2929 email@example.com
Leadership and Influence 25/3/10 Hammersmith - London Judy Apps 01306 886114 firstname.lastname@example.org Relaxation & Meditation: Session 5 of 8 25/3/10 Chesterfield - Derbyshire (S40) Diane Oxborough 01298 72907 email@example.com Coaching with NLP Practitioner: Module 3 25/3/10 Exeter Chris Menlove-Platt 07890 306896 firstname.lastname@example.org
Fast-Track NLP Practitioner: Module 1 20/3/10 London Jeremy Lazarus 020 8349 2929 email@example.com
An Actors Guide to Survival using NLP 27/3/10 London Alison Matthews 020 7708 1864 / 07976 246151 alison.matthews@sensabilityuk. co.uk
Intensive ABNLP 7 day NLP Practitioner Course 21/3/10 Milton Keynes Pip Thomas & Faz Colbhie 02031 450698 nudge@edgeNLP.co.uk
Business Practitioner 29/3/10 #ALvechurch - West Midlands Ellen Gifford 01527 585310 firstname.lastname@example.org
NLP Business Practitioner 22/3/10 Henley on Thames UK Sue Knight +441628 604438 email@example.com NLP Business Practitioner 22/3/10 Henley on Thames UK Sue Knight +441628 604438 firstname.lastname@example.org
Ultimate Manager 30/3/10 Bristol John Seymour 0845 658 0654 email@example.com Relaxation & Meditation: Session 6 of 8 31/3/10 Buxton - Derbyshire (SK17) Diane Oxborough 01298 72907 firstname.lastname@example.org
To get your workshops and events listed in Rapport, log in as a member to www.anlp.org and enter your events into the online diary. Every issue, online events listed for the next 3 months will be included in Rapport. rapport - Winter 2009/10
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rapport book review The Essential NLP Practitioner’s Handbook How to succeed as an NLP therapist & coach Murielle Maupoint £22.99, Live It Publishing. First things first, this is a genuinely useful book for any NLP graduate who wants to set themselves up as an NLP coach/practitioner. It is not another book that introduces NLP or covers the NLP techniques; it is instead a book that covers the practicalities of creating your own NLP coaching business. The handbook is an easy read, written in a very ‘chatty’ style. Indeed the author is utilising conversational NLP with you as the reader, often speaking to you directly as if she was in the room with you. It appears that the author is a natural at eliciting positive states in others with an engaging sense of humour. You will most probably find yourself enjoying the fun play with Ericksonian
language patterns as you read! The author seems to walk her talk and an aspect I particularly like is her offering options instead of telling you what to do. This captures the spirit of NLP in that ‘one option is no option, two options is a dilemma and three or more options create choice’. There are also plenty of pertinent questions that you will want to ask yourself (and answer) if you are going to become a self employed NLP practitioner. Having run many NLP practitioner courses myself, I would certainly recommend this book to those that are seeking to take their career in an NLP direction. Joe Cheal, Book Review Panel
Happy Kids Happy You - Using NLP to bring out the best in ourselves and the children we care for Sue Beever £14.99, Crown House
Sue Beever’s Happy Kids Happy You is interesting, informative and useful. While it follows a logical and cumulative progression, it can also be dipped in to and used by parents, grandparents and professionals interested in the emotional development of children, whether they have an interest in NLP or not. Its informal style, illustrations and chatty reports from other parents all contribute to its accessibility. The quotations from mums and dads are a reader friendly means of reiterating and clarify significant points. The book walks the talk in that the presentation of the material is entirely in keeping with its message: keeping us in the moment; promoting actively doing something; opening up new ways forward; using clean thinking and encouraging us to take of ourselves
as well as our children. NLP presuppositions and principles are clearly represented without recourse to jargon: instead of establish rapport / pace and lead we have “Get down to their level / move beside / join in their activity / get a Yes. Using sub-modalities becomes “Make it vivid and appealing”. The tone of the book is supportive and encouraging while offering challenges and insights into effective strategies and techniques. It demonstrates the effectiveness of modeling while encouraging us to be the sort of model we would like our children to imitate. Its internal consistency is at once calming and inspirational for adults dealing with the challenges and surprises that children are so expert at providing. Sali Mustafic, Book Review Panel
Boundaries in Human Relationships Anne Linden £18.99, Crown House Whilst reading ‘Boundaries in Human Relationships’ I experienced an almost continuous stream of eureka moments. It is brilliant. I’m 100% sold on ‘doing boundaries’. The ideas and theories are well supported by real life examples. Many personal development books are excessively littered with tasks and exercises, often to the extent that it seems to take forever to complete the book and apply the ideas. Anne Linden has managed something very different. Well placed questions are scattered throughout the text, they are cleverly interlaced and as such the pace and rhythm of the book is unaffected. Be warned though, these questions are far from simple and
superficial. They hit deep and will make you think about the past, present and future in a very different way. I lost count of the number of times I said to myself “Oh no, I’m guilty of doing that!” - i.e. having no boundaries or walls. As a visually driven person, a little colour and a well thought out layout can make or break a book for me. I’ll end this review by making a suggestion to Anne – befriend a designer, someone who could jazz up the text and inject a touch of creative visual magic to help make the content come alive a little more. It would help to lighten the frequent and uncomfortable moments of realisation! David Rawlings, Book Review Panel rapport - Winter 2009/10
Inside information and the power of six how new knowledge heals The Power of Six was devised by David Grove, creator of Clean Language, as a methodology for eliciting and utilizing our inner intelligence. Philip Harland is a Clean Language psychotherapist who worked closely with Grove.
hroughout our lives, we encounter problems that we find hard to understand or resolve. We create these problems in ways that are uniquely structured to our personalities, which means that the solutions have to arise from the same uniqueness. We achieve this by tapping into the inner worlds of our own wisdom, those immeasurable reservoirs of information that maintain us as individuals and to which no one else – no partner, teacher, coach or counsellor – has access. The Power of Six supports us to retrieve the specific information we need in a process of ‘emergence’ which leads inevitably to self-reorganization. It is a radically different approach to the medical model and to conventional therapies, yet it is entirely compatible with either. The information retrieved is, literally, ‘in-formation’, that which is formed from within. Properties and patterns in the form of memories, metaphors, images, snippets, thoughts and sensations that are processed and evaluated by the brain to influence the formation of other properties and patterns. Information is thus potential knowledge. It is what emergence researcher Maurice Brasher calls “a candidate for knowledge”. It becomes knowledge when we recognize it, ascribe primacy to it, give it significance, order, meaning, a name. Information, like energy, does real work. It changes brain chemistry, it changes neuronal connections, it changes behaviour and it changes lives. Systems thinker Gregory Bateson identified it as “the difference that makes a difference”. There is no need for the conscious mind to perceive, much less appreciate, how this difference happens. It is our inner intelligence at work. Six Principles The emergent self knowledge process of the Power of Six is driven by six necessary conditions.
Winter 2009/10 - rapport
Clean input Present tense
Power of Six Adjacent Spaces
Six necessary conditions for the operation of the Power of Six 1 Clean Input Questions are minimally assumptive, nonsuggestive and metaphor-free. If as a facilitator you were questioning the client directly, rather than questioning something the client had written or drawn, your opening question might be What do you know? followed by And what else do you know? which is repeated four more times And what else do you know? And what else do you know? And what else do you know? And what else do you know? ending with a learning or consolidation question And now what do you know? 2 The Present Tense All Power of Six questioning, all client information, knowledge, and experience, whatever time scale it may refer to, is elicited and maintained in the here and now. What do you know? And what else do you know? And now what do you know? 3 Adjacent Spaces The mental and/or physical spaces the client’s information occupies have a notional boundary
within which the facilitator’s questions are addressed. As the problem and its location relative to the client are established, the spaces that define the client’s construction of the problem appear. New information is accessed in adjacent spaces. 4 Iteration The Power of Six questions have an iterative effect, each client response feeding back to inform the next. The same thing happens in the networking of spaces and in further rounds of questioning: as information increases and iterates, complexity builds and eventually collapses or reorganizes, allowing self-healing or resolution to emerge. 5 Formula In each round of questioning, the same procedure based on the same questions is repeated. The predictability of the Power of Six de-emphasizes the client/facilitator relationship and encourages the client to develop a relationship with their own intelligence. They discover what they need to know for themselves. 6 Sixness Six numbers drive the process. They form an orderly sequence and they also work together as nodes of a network, where the sum of their parts depends on the interaction of the properties each part possesses. Six is the optimal number required to form an information network from which new knowledge will emerge. There are six basic questions to a round, six rounds to a series and six parts to an action plan. Emergent Knowledge ‘Emergence’ is the meta-process these six principles serve. Emergent knowledge is a whole that is more than the sum of its parts. All Clean processes encourage the emergence of new knowledge; the Power of Six actively promotes it. The first two conditions – clean
Photograph by James Lawley
Information, like energy, does real work. It changes brain chemistry, it changes neuronal connections, it changes behaviour and it changes lives
input and the present tense – are common to all Clean processes. Adjacent spaces, iteration, and formula are shared with Clean Space. All six conditions are present in the Power of Six. Sixness is exclusive to it. Musicians find it difficult to improvise music without a beat. The repetitive patterns of the Power of Six send a message to the higher nervous system that here is a measure around which the mind can play safely and securely. This is not the kind of security that written music provides. No-one here tells the performer what to play. The cue from the Power of Six conductor is more on the lines of: “I will look after the beat; this is your time and space; you can now be yourself ”. Like Clean Language and Clean Space before it, the Power of Six emerged within the framework of a philosophy dedicated to helping people help themselves in the way only they could. These were never intended to be elitist procedures. David Grove was adamant that his methods should not only support sophisticated therapeutic interventions, but also be capable of combining with other disciplines – medicine, coaching, counselling and so on – and be straightforward, teachable, and transferable. Increasingly in my work as a therapist I find that whatever the client or the condition, the patterns of the Power of Six deliver emergence at least as well as more elaborate methodologies and often more quickly. Given the many choices of approach available to me when working with a client, it then becomes more a matter of my will to be simple. Formulaic Questioning How did the idea of a standard pattern of questioning take shape? When Grove was developing Clean Language and Therapeutic Metaphor for the symptomatic treatment of trauma, the sequence in which the first questions were asked was gradually refined by David and his partner Cei Davies into a code that followed a typical and teachable (though not, in practice, invariable) order:
• And how do you know when [e.g. you’re feeling very sad]? • And where is [the feeling as described by the client]? • And whereabouts is it? • And does it have a size or a shape? • And that is like what? There was no shortage of directions in which the questioning could go at that point, but the first inkling of a formula had appeared. Another formulaic trace appeared in Grove’s practice of Intergenerational Healing, when the search for the origins of a symptom or the source of a redemptive metaphor would take the client back in time:
from body to biography to ancestry to culture to land to cosmology in a methodical six-stage time trail which led eventually to work in spatial sorting and was later formalized into the basic six-step, and then more sophisticated twelve-step, quasiformulaic procedures of Clean Space. The Power of Six abides by the same procedural logic, but takes the systematic principle further. Philosophically and practically, the formula is different to any other you may have come across in the fields of therapy, coaching and self-development. “All great things are simple”,
Winston Churchill once said. Because the Power of Six is such a simple operant it is able to contain complexity. The numbers at its heart hold the client’s problem so that client and facilitator do not have to. It is a modus operandi for seeking solutions at any level of expertise; an algorithm that enables the emergence of new knowledge and healing whatever the client’s starting point; a prescription that, if followed to the letter, will engage clients with their symptoms directly and change the neuro-chemistry of the brain in ways that are wholly self-generated. Self Organization The neural pathways of learning have been well documented by scientists such as Joseph LeDoux in The Emotional Brain. LeDoux describes the chemical changes that strengthen and stabilize synaptic connections, resulting in what he calls the creation of “extinctionresistant learning” in the brain. After conditioning, the response of individual cells to the conditioned stimulus is increased (the same input produces a bigger output). In addition, individual cells develop stronger interconnections, so that when one fires the others also fire. Applying this critical finding in the context of self-organization, we can say that the procedures of the Power of Six condition the brain to learn from itself. This is no ordinary conditioner. It disentangles, improves manageability, and restores shine and vitality to the parts other conditioners cannot reach. The repeated question And what else do you know? becomes a conditioned stimulus that prompts not just more of the same with each repetition, but a series of enhanced outputs leading the client beyond rethinking and modified feeling to extinction-resistant learning. Physical or psychological symptoms are not something to be feared, ignored or evaded. They are signals from the bodymind that it is attempting to heal itself. The Power of Six weaves a formulaic spell over such symptoms. It enables them to proclaim what they know, to reveal their strengths and weaknesses, and to tap their reserves – and yet to go further, for that is the nature of emergence. Information iterates and emerges as new knowledge that heals. To learn more about Emergent Knowledge and sixness visit www.powersofsix.com This article is an edited extract from the book The Power of Six, A Six Step Guide to Self Knowledge by Philip Harland, dedicated to the late David Grove and published by Wayfinder Press. It is available via the powersofsix website and from amazon sites and bookshops.
rapport - Winter 2009/10
Current Research in
Current Research in NLP
he first NLP Research Journal has been published by ANLP and will be officially launched at the House of Commons on 28th January 2010, at a special event sponsored by Ann Keen MP and Towergate Professional Risks and hosted by Dr Paul Tosey, from the University of Surrey (the editor) and Karen Moxom, Managing Director of ANLP (the publisher).
Proceedings of 200 Edited by Paul Tosey
The Journal is available as a PDF, or as a bound copy, and can be purchased from the dedicated research conference website, www.nlpresearchconference.com. If you are a member of ANLP you can purchase the bound copy with 40% discount by contacting ANLP direct on 020 3051 6740 or emailing firstname.lastname@example.org.
Neuro Linguistic Programming A Critical Appreciation for Managers and Developers By Paul Tosey and Jane Mathison (published by Palgrave Macmillan) November 2010 – Hardback – £55.00 Order your copy now and receive 30%* off the RRP (£55.00)
his book is the first to fulfil the need for an enquiring, research-based and critical approach to the practice of Neuro-Linguistic Programming in business and organisations. It is essential reading for anyone who is interested in this innovative field of practice. NLP can be an effective and creative approach to developing people, yet is hampered by a lack of understanding on the one hand, and on the other by its failure so far to address some key concerns. Here you will discover everything you need to know about what NLP is, where it came from, how it links to other streams of thought, what the research evidence says, and how NLP approaches key issues such as ethics. Whether you are a practitioner, a client, a trainee, or someone who is thinking of using NLP, you will gain a new, deeply informed perspective on this field of practice. To order online and take advantage of the special discounted price of £38.50* plus packing and postage, please visit: www.palgrave.com/nlp and enter WNLP09a at the checkout. *Discounted price only available to Rapport Magazine readers until 1st February 2010. This offer is not available to trade or library customers. The offer is only available to customers in the UK and Europe.
Winter 2009/10 - rapport
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rapport networking contact Practice Group of the month
Make More Of Your Skills with the Brighton NLP Group.
The Brighton NLP Group is run by its members
England - North Harrogate Achievers Club Sonia Marie Saxton Tel: 0845 257 0036 Email: email@example.com Harrogate Practice Group Elizabeth Pritchard Tel: 01326 212 959 Email: firstname.lastname@example.org www.zeteticmind.com Lancaster Practice Group Dave Allaway Tel: 07984 018 914 Email: email@example.com www.life-passion.co.uk Lancs - Nr Clitheroe Dawn Haworth Tel: 01254 824 504 Email: firstname.lastname@example.org www.nlpand.co.uk Leeds - West Yorkshire Liz Tolchard Tel: 01943 873 895 Mob: 07909 911 769 Email: email@example.com Manchester Business NLP and Emotional Intelligence Group Andy Smith Tel: 0845 83 855 83 Email: firstname.lastname@example.org www.manchesternlp.co.uk Manchester NLP Group Gary Plunkett Tel: 08707 570292 Email: email@example.com firstname.lastname@example.org Manchester, Stockport, High Peak Sandie Shaw or Chris Delaney Tel: 07985 284 914 Email: email@example.com
Winter 2009/10 - rapport
he Brighton NLP Group, established in 2006, is a not-forprofit organisation aimed across all NLP denominations - wherever you have trained you are welcome at the Brighton NLP Group. Even if you haven't trained yet, but have an interest in NLP, the Brighton NLP Group invites you to come along and find out more. From March 2009, the Brighton NLP Group meets every second Wednesday of the month at in the Adelaide Room, Cornerstone Community Centre on the corner of 1st Avenue and Church Road
Newcastle Upon Tyne Philip Brown Tel: 0191 456 3930 Mob: 0777 228 1035 North Yorkshire Alan Johnson Tel: 01609 778 543 www.nlpnorthallerton.co.uk North Yorkshire Practice Group Rebecca Wake Tel: 01642 714702 Email: firstname.lastname@example.org www.awakenconsulting.co.uk North West & North Wales (Chester) Gary Plunkett Tel: 08707 570 292 Email: email@example.com firstname.lastname@example.org
Croydon Michael Carroll Tel: 020 8686 9952 Email: email@example.com www.nlpacademy.co.uk Hants - NLP South Nigel Heath Tel: 01794 390 651 Email: firstname.lastname@example.org www.nlp-south.org.uk Hertfordshire ANLP International CIC Practice Group Karen or Lala Tel: 020 3051 6740 Email: Members@anlp.org www.anlp.org
in Hove. Meetings start at 7.30pm and finish between 9.15pm to 9.30pm. We're passionate about NLP and run events that are informal, with a speaker who runs practical exercises so you can increase your skills. Topics range from NLP skills, developments in NLP (such as Integral Eye Movement Therapy) or other models such as Psych-K. The Brighton NLP Group is run by members and is organised for the benefit of the Brighton & Hove NLP Community, and welcomes feedback and input from attendees.
London - Central (Business) Mark Underwood Tel: 020 7249 7472 London (Central) Robert Ford Telephone: 08453 962842 Mobile: 07976 715234 Email: email@example.com London - Central/North Practitioners and above only Jeremy Lazarus Tel: 020 8349 2929 Email: Jeremy@thelazarus.com www.thelazarus.com
Hertfordshire - Letchwoth James Rolph Tel: 01462 674411 Email: firstname.lastname@example.org
London The Performance Partnership David Shephard Tel: 020 8992 9523 Email: email@example.com www.performancepartnership.com
Kent & East Sussex NLP Group Beverley Hamilton Tel: 01892 511231 Email: firstname.lastname@example.org
London East - Stratford, E15 Sharon Eden Tel: 020 8597 9200 Email: email@example.com
London - Hampstead Najma Zaman Tel: 020 8926 1297 mob: 07950477318 Email: firstname.lastname@example.org
London - Ladbroke Grove Nina Madden 07906 255 529 email@example.com www.ninamadden.com
Bedfordshire Melody and Joe Cheal Tel: 01767 640956 Email: firstname.lastname@example.org www.gwiztraining.com
London - Central PPD Learning Judith Lowe Tel: 0870 7744 321 Email: email@example.com www.ppdlearning.co.uk/community/ our-practice-group
Berkshire NLP Group Balbir Chagger Mob: 07944 931 437 Email: firstname.lastname@example.org www.lifestorytherapeuticcentre.com/NLP.aspx
London - Central Adrian Hope-Lewis Tel: 07970 639552 Mob: 07970 639552 www.nlpgroup.freeserve.co.uk
London NLP & Hypnosis Practice Group Phillip Holt Tel: 08451 306213 Mob: 07061 003 003 Email: email@example.com www.nlp-london.com
Warrington Tiffany Kay Tel: 0845 833 8831 Email: firstname.lastname@example.org www.WarringtonNLP.co.uk York Philip Callaghan Tel: 01904 636 216 Email: email@example.com www.bronze-dragon.com/nlp_group.shtml
England - South
London NW - SeeHearFeel NLP Rob Tel: 020 8958 5345 www.SeeHearFeelNLP.co.uk/
London West - Richmond NLP Group Henrietta Laitt Tel: 0208 874 8203 Mob: 07880 614 040 Email: firstname.lastname@example.org www.richmondnlpgroup.org.uk North London NLP Tom MacKay Tel: 07815 879 055 Email: email@example.com www.northlondonnlp.co.uk Oxford Nick King Mob: 0780 253 4150 Email: firstname.lastname@example.org www.oxfordnlpgroup.org.uk Sandwich, Kent. Lindsey Agness or Zoe Young Tel: Lindsey 01304 621735 or 07711 036 192 Zoe 07932 371 164 Email: email@example.com South East London & City Simon Hedley Tel: 07930 275 223 Email: firstname.lastname@example.org www.psithinking.co.uk/londonnlp practicegroup.htm www.nlpswap.com/ Sussex - Brighton Association of NLP Practitioners Terry Elston Tel: 0800 074 6425 Email: email@example.com www.nlpworld.co.uk www.nlp-brighton-assoc.org Sussex - Brighton NLP Group Sue Pullen Tel: 01273 508100 Mob: 07739 836236 Email: firstname.lastname@example.org www.brightonnlpgroup.com Sussex - Chichester Roger and Emily Terry Tel: 01243 792 122 Mob: 07810 876 210 Email: email@example.com www.evolutiontraining.co.uk Sussex - Worthing Email: firstname.lastname@example.org West Sussex - Chichester Andrew T. Austin Email: email@example.com www.nlpstudygroup.com
England - East Cambridgeshire Phil Jones Tel: 07711 711 123 Email: firstname.lastname@example.org www.cambsnlp.co.uk Colchester NLP Group Julian Campbell Tel: 01473 410521 Mob: 07710 781782 Email: email@example.com www.lifechangingtherapies.co.uk/colnlp.html
Essex - Southend Pauline Oliver Tel: 01702 203465 Norfolk NLP Practice Group Stephen Ferrey Tel: 01603 211 961 Email: firstname.lastname@example.org www.motivational-coaching.co.uk Ipswich Steve Marsden Tel: 07889 751578 Email: email@example.com Redbridge - Ilford Glenda Yearwood Tel: 0208 708 3876 Email: firstname.lastname@example.org www.redbridge.gov.uk
England - West Bath NLP North East Somerset Philippe Roy Tel: 01225 404 050 Email: email@example.com www.bathnlp.co.uk Bath NLP Skills Builder Ben Reeve Tel: 01823 334 080 Email: firstname.lastname@example.org www.idevelop.co.uk Bournemouth John Chisholm and Michelle Fischer Tel: 01202 424250 email@example.com Bristol David Griffiths Tel: 01179 423 310 Email: firstname.lastname@example.org Cornwall Practice Group Elizabeth Pritchard Tel: 01326 212 959 Email: email@example.com www.zeteticmind.com Cornwall (West) Robert Ford Telephone: 08453 962842 Mobile: 07976 715234 Email: firstname.lastname@example.org Devon NLP Practice Group Jane Stubberfield Tel: 01392 841153 Mob: 07887 744299 E-mail: email@example.com www.jsa-development.co.uk Devon - South-West (totnes) NLP Support Group Alice Llewellyn & Anna Scott-Heyward Tel: 01803 866706/01803 323885 Devon - Torquay Chris Williams Tel: 0781 354 9073
Devon & Cornwall NLP Practice Group Nick Evans Tel: 01392 811 772 Mob: 07832 357 208 Email: firstname.lastname@example.org www.nlp-southwest.co.uk/WordPress/?p=72# more-72 Dorset John Chisholm or Brian Morton Tel: 01202 42 42 50 Email: email@example.com firstname.lastname@example.org www.nlpdorset.co.uk Swindon, West Country Tony Nutley 01793 554834 Email: email@example.com www.ukcpd.net West Somerset Caitlin Collins Tel: 01643 841310 Email: firstname.lastname@example.org Worcestershire and Gloucestershire Practice Group Kim Phillips Tel: 01386 861916 Email: email@example.com
England - Midlands Birmingham (flexible locations and to suit members) Mandy Ward Tel: 0121 625 7193 Mob: 07740 075669 Email: firstname.lastname@example.org www.cassykindly.co.uk
Scotland Aberdeen Rosie O’Hara Tel:07796 134981 Email: email@example.com www.nlphighland.co.uk Edinburgh Centre of Excellence Practice Group Michael Spence Tel: 0131 664 7854 Email: firstname.lastname@example.org Edinburgh NLP Practice Group Patrick Wheatley & Sheena Wheatley Tel: 07765244030/0131 664 4344 Email: email@example.com firstname.lastname@example.org www.changingperceptions.org.uk Forres/Elgin NLP Practice Group (North of Scotland) Rosie O’ Hara Tel: 01309 676004 Email: email@example.com www.nlphighland.co.uk Glasgow Mina McGuigan Tel: 01236 610 949 Mob: 07916 275 605 Email: firstname.lastname@example.org www.nlpacademyscotland.co.uk Glasgow Centre of Excellence Practice Group Michael Spence Tel: 01316 647 854 Mob: 07710 332 841 Email: email@example.com
The Derby NLP Practice Group Karl Walkinshaw Tel: 07971 654 440 Email: firstname.lastname@example.org
Glasgow - NLP in Education Jeff Goodwin Tel: 0870 060 1549/0141 248 6484 Email: email@example.com www.nlpscotland.com
East Midlands NLP Group Rupert Meese Tel: 0115 8226302 Email: firstname.lastname@example.org www.lightmind.co.uk/EMNLP
Inverness - (Highland) Rosie O’Hara Tel: 01309 676004 Email: email@example.com, www.nlphighland.co.uk
Northants - Northampton Ron Sheffield Tel: 01604 812800 Email: firstname.lastname@example.org www.nlpgroups.org
Nottingham Timothy Morrell Tel: 07810 484 215 Email: email@example.com www.focushigher.co.uk Walsall/Birmingham Richard Pearce Tel: 07760 175589 Email: firstname.lastname@example.org
Cardiff James Angove Email: email@example.com www.cardiffnlp.co.uk Shropshire & Mid Wales Practice Group Nick Greer Tel: 01743 361133 Email: firstname.lastname@example.org www.nickgreer.com
West Midlands - Worcestershire Sharon Rooke & David Smallwood Tel:01905 352 882 Email: sharon@SCRassociates.com email@example.com www.SCRassociates.com
Practice Groups meet regularly and give you the chance to share experiences with like minded individuals and fellow professionals. They also offer you the opportunity to further your knowledge and add to your Continual Professional Development (CPD) through informed lectures and workshops. For further information on the Practice Groups listed, please log on to our website, www.anlp.org If you would like to add your Practice Group to this list or change existing details, please contact Lala on 020 3051 6740 or email firstname.lastname@example.org
rapport - Winter 2009/10
INTRODUCING NLP Outcomes 5: What’s important to you? By Caitlin Collins
nder the theme of setting outcomes, this series explores some of the basic ideas and practical methods of NLP. In the previous issue (Autumn 2009) we saw how emotions may sometimes be messengers from a deeper level of our being. A major topic of those messages has to do with our values and beliefs. Although there’s some overlap, values and beliefs are not quite the same thing. Values are basic principles that are important to us, such as honesty, security, or freedom; while beliefs are ideas about specifics, such as I’m a good / bad person, people are generally trustworthy / unreliable, life’s a beach / a bitch, things generally work out OK / go tits up. Significantly, both values and beliefs can change over time, and, although we usually identify with them as being part of ourselves, a little reflection and experiment indicates that we may in fact very often absorb them from others and then adopt them as our own. How often do you pause to reflect on your values and beliefs? Constructive and destructive, realistic and deluded, they guide your life. NLP uses the terms ‘surface structure’ and ‘deep structure’ to distinguish between the behaviour that is outwardly apparent and the inner forces that influence that behaviour. It’s interesting – and frightening – how out of touch with our own ‘deep structure’ we humans usually are. When modelling somebody’s
Winter 2009/10 - rapport
expertise, it’s rarely enough just to focus on the perceivable actions: it’s necessary to get at the deep structure as well – in fact that’s often the more crucial aspect – and there are often surprises in store for the person being modelled! If other people trample our values, it’s hard to like them. If we trample our own values, it’s hard to like ourselves. For most of us our self-image and our self-esteem come from both how others relate to us and how we relate to ourselves. Life is seldom simple and we have to make compromises; our conflicting values are jockeying for priority and some of them are getting squashed in the process. The more we bump up against life, the more we are bruised, and the more unhelpful beliefs we acquire. The result can be a messy tangle of feelings including resentment, anxiety and frustration, tempered by hope that continues to triumph over experience – and leads to further scrapes! So what’s the solution? How can we manage conflict and compromise while honouring our values? How can we let go of beliefs that limit us and cultivate ones that support us? A major step in setting outcomes is the ‘Ecology check’. This means taking into account the context in which we’re operating and considering the needs of other people who will be affected by our actions. It also includes an inner ecology check. Notice any inner hesitation. Reluctance can be an indication that a part of us is not happy about the project! This may be a value asserting itself: freedom sees the cage door closing and digs its heels in, or security spots a flaw in abandoning work and sailing off to the Caribbean. It may be a limiting belief murmuring, ‘You’ll never be able to do it; you know you always screw up.’ We need to get in touch with these undercurrents from the depths; we risk scuppering our plans, repeatedly, until we do! There are many ways to help us dive into the ocean of our minds and encounter our deeper values and hidden beliefs. Quiet reflection, constructive self-questioning, talking things over with a friend, and meditation are all helpful. All these methods and many, many more have
Values and beliefs are not quite the same thing their place within an NLP approach. One of my favourites is the parts dialogue, an exercise that takes talking to yourself to a new level! Here’s a simplified version of it. If part of you wants to do something but another part of you is reluctant, imagine you can invite these two parts to come out for a chat. Imagine getting them to sit on your hands, one on each palm. What might they look like, if you could see them? Now, you’re going to let each one have its say in a constructively facilitated dialogue! Which one wants to go first? OK. Ask it what it wants for you, that’s beneficial for you. Encourage it to answer as fully as it can, if necessary prompting it gently with helpful questions like, ‘And if we get that, what would that bring which is even more important, even more beneficial?’ Then do the same with the other part. Make sure they both get to a really constructive place in which it is evident that they’re both trying to do their best for your welfare. Then, pointing out to both parts that they both just want what’s good for you, remind them of the original issue and encourage them to talk to each other and come up with a solution they’re both happy with. You can close the exercise by bringing your hands close together and asking the two parts to connect with each other in some way; encourage them to reach out and touch each other. Then bring your hands up to your heart and imagine replacing the two parts in your heart, where they belong. The best thing about the NLP approaches is that they bring out the best in you. This simple exercise is about more than problemsolving; it’s about healing inner conflict. Through it you can learn to love your parts – they’re all really on your side, even the apparently stroppy ones! Caitlin Collins: www.naturalmindmagic.com email@example.com
Provocative Therapy in 2010 26th - 27th February 2010 Provocative Change for London Hosted by Nick Kemp
Regents College Inner Circle, Regents Park NW1 4NS Fri 26th 7pm - 9pm
Sat 27th 10am - 5pm
Learn the Provocative Icon System and Frank Farrelly’s provocative patterns. The structure of the PT interview and how to shift client states with humor. Recieve free Associate AFPT membership
An evening of Provocative Change Works Live Demonstrations exploring PT patterns and strategies..
22nd - 23rd May 2010 Provocative Therapy in Practice Hosted by Frank Farrelly & Nick Kemp Queens Hotel, Leeds, Yorkshire
Learn Provocative Therapy from the source! The weekend includes an opportunity for some to work one on one with Frank Farrelly. Nick Kemp founder of The Association of Provocative Therapy and creator of The Provocative Icon System™ will be co-hosting and teaching many of the latest exercises that assist in developing insights and core skills in this highly eﬀective therapeutic approach.
Frank is a solid co-therapist -- not a carbon copy. His core of lovingness is easily apparent and available... ...You've read Groddeck, Eichorn, Redl, Laing, Kopp... Read Farrelly! Carl A Whitaker, M.D. Family Process
If you're interested in provocative therapy you want to read his stuﬀ on the internet. What a guy. And he's got a heart of 144 carat gold! Frank Farrelly talks about Nick Kemp
For bookings and more information:
Rapport issue 18, Winter 2009/10