THE OTHER SIDE A Collection Of My Thoughts

THOUGHTS I WOULD LIKE TO SHARE WITH MY READERS

Most of my life I tried to pursue what was caught in my heart not what caught my eyes.

2

A COLLECTION OF MY THOUGHTS: THE OTHER SIDE Essays, Short Stories, Poems and Invocations Dr Ram Lakhan Prasad

(B.A. Graduate Diploma in Education, Master of Business Administration, Doctor of Business Administration, Diploma in Legal Studies, Diploma in Accounting, Justice of the Peace (Qual), & Commissioner of Declaration)

76 Ghost Gum Street Bellbowrie, Qld, 4070 Australia Phone 07 32028564 0451944836 srlprasad40@hotmail.com ralmlakhanprasad@gmail.com www.prasadfamily.simplesite.com 3

LIST OF MY PUBLICATIONS 1. Managing People in the Business World 2. Motivation Techniques 3. Motivation Towards 2000 4. Motivating the Unmotivated 5. The Bhagvad Gita Translation and Commentary 6. Attachment A Collection of Short Stories Part 1 7. An Anthology of Our Poems 8. Colours of Love 9. Future of Fate 10.History and Development of the Fiji Teachers Union 11. History and Development of an Indentured Family in Fiji 12. Silence is Golden A Hindi Novel 13. A Collection of Hindi Short Stories Part 1 14. Anuraag A Collection of Hindi Short Stories Pt 2 15. People Power in the Business World 16. Managing People in the Commercial World 17. A Collection of Shaayari 18. Mere Atma Ki Pukaar 19. Songs of My Soul 20. Home Alone 21. Tanhaai 22. My Way The Highway 23. When The Going Gets Tough

24. The Angel of The Family 25. Treasury of My Fond Memories 26. The Return of the Pretty Lotus 27. Incomplete Dreams 28. Everlasting Love 29. Love is Fire Love is Flame 30. To Love and Cherish 31. Innovation A Collection of Personal Views 32. The Pretty Lotus 33. Feeling of Despair 34. Power of Parenting 35. Blood, Sweat and Tears 36. Bond of Love 37. Shradhanjali 38. Kavita An Essay 39. Saved By the Bell 40. Compassion 41. Shadows of Life 42. A Slice of Life 43. Challenges of Life 44. Search for Peace, Joy and Contentment 45. The Indenture Days in Fiji 46. A Diary of a Devotee 47. Shadows of Childhood 48. Childhood Experiences 49. A Journey of My Life 50. Roads Taken In Life 51. Selling Tactfully; A Customer Driven Approach 52. My Fifty Five Years in Fiji

Many of these are published online at www.freeebooks.net.com and https://issuu.com/ Others are published by Adarsh Printers(Bombay) Purushottam Publications (Calcutta) and Clark & Mckay of Brisbane

4

My past has been a very rich history; all the present moments and events are sacred inscriptions and my future is yet to be predicted, created and written for my readers to read, understood and appreciated.

5

DEDICATION “Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil.� (Proverbs) To My Dearest Wife Ganga,

I just want to say with words that will now be read by various people in literally dozens of countries around the world.

God wanted me to be happy and that is the only reason why He made you my wife. You are so thoughtful. Thank you for respecting me. Thank you for standing by me when I needed you most. I really appreciate your loyalty. You bring me joy. I am a rich man because you are my wife.

This dedication is for others to read however, these are private words addressed to my dearest wife Ganga in public.

6

HOPE Hope looks for the good in people instead of harping on the worst, Hope opens doors where despair closes them, hope discovers what can be done instead of grumbling what cannot, Hope draws its power from a deep trust in God and basic goodness of human nature, Hope lights a candle instead of cursing the darkness.

Hope regards problems, small or large, as opportunities, Hope cherishes no illusions, nor does it yield to cynicism, Hope sets big goals and is not frustrated by repeated difficulties and setbacks, Hope pushes ahead when it would be easy to quit.

Hope puts up with modest gains, realizing that the longest journey starts with one step, Hope accepts misunderstandings as the price for serving the greater good of others, Hope is a good loser because it has the divine assurance of final victory.

7

CONTENTS Prologue By David (Purushottam) Reddy My Mentor, School Mate and professional colleague.

Introduction My Belief, My Responsibility Advice from My Grandfather The Joy of Devotion Human Life Is worth Living Good and Bad Days Turn Your Sorrows to Blessing Respect for Our Values Let There Be Greater Wisdom to Live My Heaven is Above My Head and Under My Feet What If and My Related Thoughts My Realisations in Life The Only Thing That Lives For Ever Is Love My Ultimate Destination Human Kindness, Love and Our People Possibility My Self Motivation and Inspirations This is Life Change Knowledge and Affluence Kindness and Love for Others We Loved the Life we Lived, we Lived the life we Loved My Last Words Conclusion Acknowledgements Epilogue By Shiu Charan, Past President of the Fiji Teachers’ Union and my school mate and professional colleague Life of the Author

8

I Wanted to Be a Pacesetter My life was the first gift of God for me I have tried to make the best use of it all Love became the second gift for me I tried to spread this emotion to all.

Understanding came as my third gift It made my life move ahead without a rift Then music was the greatest gift of all It wanted nothing in return just listen and roll.

I was fortunate to get this life, short as it was Love and understanding made it full of class But music made the life real meaningful I loved life with music, it made me cheerful.

Those who join me know life is to enjoy Keep listening to songs and rhythms for lasting joy We would love and understand life better, If we gave it a go and lived as a pacesetter.

9

PROLOGUE

By David Reddy, (Purushottam) Past President of the Students’ Council, Teachers’ College 1959 and my College and High School mentor.

“What counts in life is not the mere fact that we have lived. It is what difference we have made to the lives of others that will determine the significance of the life we lead.” ― Nelson Mandela

I am pleased to introduce the readers to, Dr Ram Lakhan Prasad’s latest book “The Other Side”-a collection of his thoughts, because what he has written really resonates with me. We both hail from Fiji ,sharing similar backgrounds, growing up in sugar cane villages where there was a great support from extended families and in particular, our grandparents who not only cared for us but also, taught us some valuable life principles.

Adopting their values of working hard, persevering in the face of difficulties and having an unwavering faith in God, these all have stood well in the tests of our times.

We were fortunate to attend the same high school and then proceeded to training college, where we picked up a few more good habits and values from teachers and fellow students. Our association continued after graduating from the training college, as we went

10

teaching in Labasa, Vanua Levu and then other parts of Fiji.

Looking back, we all agree that our lives in various roles and in different occupations, brought us in close contact with a large number of people and we had become part of them, absorbing some wisdom on the way. Each of us has living experience spanning eighties and we know too well, the joys of good times and pain and disappointments of swimming against the tides.

During Dr Prasad’s last trip to the home land (Fiji), he took what turned out to be a momentous car journey of several hours. Seeing the familiar places and watching people in various activities, flooded his mind with some old memories which caused him to reflect deeply on his own journey of life thus far. This was no less an epiphany for Dr Prasad which resulted in compiling this book on the important lessons learnt to make his life meaningful. All the subjects covered are ideal for reading, meditating and hopefully cultivating good habits to succeed with the goals of life.

Dr RL Prasad also generously shares in this book, his own personal philosophy on what values to subscribe to in order to achieve a fulfilling life, living daily with confidence and with a sense of purpose. He encourages the readers to be courageous and follow their dreams.

Taking the role of a good guru, Dr Prasad also encourages the reader to lead a truly balanced life in developing our body, mind, soul and spirit. He has used quotes from some famous people to make his points in this regard. He exhorts the reader to observe the nature 11

and focus on the Creator and His attributes, “love“ being the greatest. Dear reader embark on the adventure of thinking others better than yourself and also loving them as yourself.

This book is well timed for publication during the holidays (however, not in particular), when folks would want to use spare their hours in reflecting on their work, relationships, past experiences and future goals.

These topics are covered in this book and would be useful for that purpose, I recommend this book as I note, there is enough substance to use it as an addition to a daily devotional, irrespective of our faith.

David Reddy, Auckland, NZ

12

1 Introduction During my active working life from 1960 to 2002 I have been lecturing, teaching, speaking at various functions, writing and creating my thoughts on various subjects and issues of particular interest to me. The thoughts were of political, social, cultural, economical, educational and general interest and nature. None the less, they were my own and I kept accumulating them until 2019 when I thought of putting them together as A Collection of my Thoughts I called it The Other Side’.

Many of my writings are published on the web and some are printed as hard copies of bound books and stored in my personal library at home. By December 27th 2019, when I complete my 80th birthday I would have written over 52 books and these are included as the List of Publications in the beginning.

I personally believe that in the process of our growing up, we have the tendency to change. For better or for worse, it is up to us 13

how we express and manage these changes in our daily living. Over the years of my active employment and family as well as community life, I saw many of my family members, teachers and friends change and I was no exception, Change, is inevitable they say.

I began my primary education in a village school in February 1946 and showed up at school barefooted, shy and timid with a lot cheaper and modest uniform and school bag of khaki material that my father so lovingly made for me. The bag contained my slate, a few writing clay pencils and my lunch parcel that my mother so carefully put in a metal container. While several students showed up at school with new shoes or a new uniform I was armed with nothing fancy but myself. However, I soon found my proper place at school and became one of the favorite students of the teachers when I managed to establish good friendship with other colleagues and do a lot better than others in my studies.

Besides my home and my village the school was my favorite place of learning. My teachers and my faithful friends and colleagues were my mentors. I paid proper attention and respect to all those who interacted with me with respect. Books became my treasure and reading them was my deep interest. Student life moved on and home life became my propeller of good conduct.

14

It is believed that many things in life are temporary, therefore if things are going good for us let us enjoy it to the fullest because they will not last forever. However, if on some days things are not going well and we are feeling bad. let us not worry too much about them because they too cannot last forever either.

In the words of my ancestors when things are not adding up in our life let us start subtracting them gradually. Our every day may not be good but there is something good in every day. Good or Bad Day but just smile because we have a lot to be thankful for.

My experience is that even Angels have fallen and failed.

Then why should we have fear of fall and failure?

Journey of our life begins with our first firm step.

I know that everyone has secrets to tell but they fear reprisal.

People who rise and rise are the ones who have learnt to never give up.

People, who love, laugh and learn from mistakes live life fully well.

Fear for us can be two edged sword when on the one hand it becomes the greatest thief of all our time and on the other hand it becomes our vision and our dreams.

Of course, anything can be possible when we firmly believe in what we are doing.

I tried my best to develop my positive life and living and God helped me achieve all I was able to do.

15

2 MY BELIEF MY RESPONSIBILITY

It is none of my business what people say of me and think of me because I believe that I am what I am, I do what I do and what I say I am free to say. I expect nothing and accept everything. This is one of the reasons why it makes my life so much easier to live. I too share the loaded view of Dalai Lama who says that there is no need for temples and there is no need for complicated philosophy because our own brain and our own heart is our temple if our philosophy is kindness.

I have been and am not only responsible for my own life and actions but I believe that doing my very best at every moments of my short but interesting life has always placed me in the box seat of my life and living to better structure my future. I thank God Almighty for guidance and blessings. I pray whenever and wherever I 16

can with no fixed unnecessary traditional ceremonies.

My prayers are simple and straightforward. ’Oh God Almighty take me in your fold and guide me to live a truthful, good and beautiful life. I ask for nothing more than your kind blessings.’

PURPOSE OF MY LIVING The last time I was in Fiji, I had an important discussion with my soul during a ride in my rental car from Suva to Nadi.

These are my thoughts of those peaceful moments when I am alone and perhaps among the moments I cherish most because I am free to relate to my soul.

A lot of topics churned through my mind for a while but after driving for nearly half an hour, somehow the topic that intrigued me was about being happy, so my soul and I discussed the four aspects of our being: Body, Mind, Heart and Soul or the physical world, our thoughts and knowledge, our emotions and our spirituality.

Before I proceed any further with the discussion, let me state that I am not an expert in any of these fields but it feels like a balance between these four can perhaps contribute to a certain harmony in our life, while neglecting some in favour of other fields that may lead us into various problems.

This is an example of the circle I used to draw. In the outer circle went the long term goals and purposes. In the second inner circle I used to put the short term goals. It was always fun to give these things some thought and I enjoyed doing these. I even encouraged my people to do the same to be successful in life.

17

Many years ago, I used to draw a circle for my younger son with four quadrants. Then I asked him to think about his ambitions and his goals and tell me where and what were his purpose in each of the four above fields. His answers used to inspire me to guide my other children as best as I could.

My son pointed to the sky and said that is where I want to reach in my life time. So I concluded that like Douglas Barder he too wanted to ‘reach for the sky’ in his life. Then he touched his physical body and said he wanted to make his body physically strong in order to face the world. He added that he had to have a heart of a human being to be kind, caring and full of love. Then he said his mind must have the determination to move ahead with new ideas and skills.

A long time has elapsed now, in fact over half a century but I have not even thought about my life, divided in these four areas and as we quite often do, so I kept living on without too much thought about goals and purpose.

Today I gave it a try to fill in the quadrants of the circle for myself. It reminded me of goals and purposes of the early days, some of which seemed to have been "magically" achieved, some of which had still quite a bit of work to be done. One thing was certain that I never moved in my life without setting definite goals and objectives.

18

While driving my car, I listened to my soul talking about goal setting and I think my soul had something interesting to tell me. It said that it was about wanting to be the person we dream of rather than wanting to get that thing we dream of or wanting to do that action we dream of.

It further said that too often our goals are to get that car, to get that house or to get that amount of money, or to make that trip around the world, or to do this or that extreme sports or study. My soul then told me that before we can get and do extraordinary things, we have to become extraordinary people. To be truly extraordinary people means invariably to be kind, invariably to love, to be humble, honest and above all good and beautiful in our words, actions, thoughts, character and heart.

When I stopped for a rest at the National Park of Sigatoka Sand Dunes I thought while having my lunch that the next time I ever thought about goal setting I may start thinking about who, where, why, when and how, I want to be and then only about what i want to get and do.

Upon reaching Denarau Island I sat in my room and decided to let the world know about my discussion with my soul by expressing these in words. This is what I call soul searching.

19

3 ADVICE FROM MY GRANDFATHER

I have been doing this ever since my grandfather told me the value of our life:  Just take a few minutes of your day and walk outside  Just stand there in complete silence  Try to look up at the sky and admire nature  Contemplate how amazing God has made your life  Thank the Almighty for this valuable gift  Develop faith within you to see light with your heart when all your eyes see is darkness  Finally off-load the mountains of problems you are carrying and try to climb the mountain of success.

When you start going on with your usual life just remember that  Good things always come to those who believe  Better things are yours if you are patient  Best things come to those Who Do Not Give Up.

20

4 The Joy of Devotion I have had an excellent childhood, a brilliant adolescence, a fortunate family and work life as well as an extremely successful student life all because my ancestors provided me the firm foundation of living and the joy of devotion. Prayers were an integral part of my life and belief in the Supreme Being gave me happiness to co-exist well in this world.

I have been a believer but not a blind follower of traditions thus I was taught not to be hypocritical, sanctimonious or prudish. I have seen some failures, a few hardships and many downfalls but because of my strong belief in my prayers I have experienced abundance of success, happiness and peace in my short life because I kept learning from my failures, downfalls and hardships.

Whenever I found that doing my best was not enough then I just went on to do what was required of me as a sentient human being. For this reason I am more a follower of humanism rather than attaching myself to

21

any particular religion. I always liked being taught and that is the reason I am always ready and eager to learn.

I believe in the idea of truth, beauty and goodness of words, actions, thoughts, character and heart and thus only I can make myself happy by the grace of Almighty God. A person with strong positive mental attitude will be able to create a lot of miracles than any other wonders of the world. Therefore, I do not worry on what I have done but I want to look at what remains to be done.

In my more than three scores and ten years of living a happy and rewarding life I have learnt that if you cannot forgive than the world would call you weak but if you have learnt to forgive, it becomes the attitude of the strong. So I concluded that only I can make myself happy but I have to believe in myself. I must become the creator of my own destiny to be able to live a peaceful and rewarding life.

I have learnt that courage to change things and your beliefs does not shout and roar but it is a quiet voice at the end of the day. I do not only preach this sermon but I live it wholeheartedly.

I believe that the believers in any faith can find unconditional happiness, peace, and joy in devotion to the God that they worship. The closer our relationship to God, the happier we will be. Practicing devotion helps us let go of our internal barriers to experiencing that closeness.

Attachment to our self-centered desires creates those barriers. Devotion helps us turn our attention away 22

from egoism of obsessions and toward the loving presence of God. Believers and nonbelievers alike can find unconditional happiness by loosening their attachment to selfish interests. For believers, devotion to God provides a means of doing this. As our love for and devotion to God grows, our focus on our own self diminishes.

Devotion I believe Is Not Bargaining. Religion today, as commonly practiced, is sometimes more about bargaining than devotion. It seems that there is a lot of attention given to chalking up points by doing good works in order to secure a pleasant place in the next world or lifetime.

Often the devotees conduct their prayers by bargaining with God. They have a lot of “Ifs”. ‘If I am successful I will conduct a special prayer for you God.’ There is no devotion in this aspect of praying but it is just bargaining.

Devotion is not bargaining. One practices devotion selflessly. If we rid our hearts of selfish motives and we devote heart, mind, and soul to God, then anything we do will be devotional.

In large part, the message of devotion focuses on giving up attachments to selfish needs and desires. If you focus exclusively on yourself, your problems, and your desires, you will have little or no attention left over for God. You can search the world over for something that will make you happy but what happens in this world cannot bring you lasting happiness. True devotion to God, on 23

the other hand, can allow you to experience the happiness that is already there.

It is very hard to let go of our day-to-day concerns, as the mind, focused mostly on it, is incredibly demanding.

It does not give up easily on its mission, which is to keep us fed, clothed, alive, and be that special person. To let go of our concerns and devote ourselves to God takes a lot of faith and trust.

Charity in my view is, in many ways, the twin of nonattachment. If we love ourselves, our possessions and our lives above all else, it is hard to part with any of it, even if there is someone in need.

On the other hand, a person who is not attached to what he or she has (be it possessions or reputation), is always willing to give freely of their time, energy, and goods to those in need.

I believe that acts performed in the name of charity are not charitable unless they are selfless. A truly charitable person will always perform charitable acts. A selfish person, on the other hand, will always act selfishly, even while performing acts that appear to be charitable.

A devotional relationship with God is also a loving relationship. Of course, this love is not limited to God. It is our love for our fellow human beings and the reason we should develop this is that we love God. I understand this in the sense of having infinite love.

To be truly devoted, we have to be humble. As we turn our attention to the source of happiness (which may be God), we turn our attention away from ourselves and our self-centered desires. In religious and spiritual 24

terms, this is the practice of humility. As a devoted person, our focus should be on God and away from ourselves. Nowhere is this truer than in our prayers.

Prayer plays a central role in devotion. I believe that its purpose is to move us closer in awareness to God. If you practice sincere prayer, focused only on God, with no thought of yourself and your needs, then you can truly quiet or calm your mind and begin to hear God speaking to you.

Prayer should not be petitionary -- asking for what we want or need. God knows what you need before you ask Him. Not only does God already know what we need and want but if we make ourselves and our needs the focus of our prayer, how can we hear when God answers us? That is, if our attention is on ourselves while we pray, we are drawing our attention away from God. In doing so, we deny ourselves communion with God. I do not make prayer be about yourself or what you need, for that is self-defeating. It is always good to approach prayer with humility.

Ideally, your humility should be so complete that it is as if you are not even there. It does not speak in terms of humility but about letting go of all thoughts as they come up and maintaining your focus on your object of meditation. Essentially, this is the way you practice humility. As thoughts of yourself come up, just let them go and keep your focus on God. Humility does not mean we approach life or prayer with the thought that we are of little value because that 25

would be focusing on ourselves and taking pride in our imagined humility. It is not by abasing ourselves or in acetic practices that we achieve humility. Instead, it is by not thinking of ourselves at all. It is by letting go of our incessant focus on ourselves.

Focusing on oneself as a humble person is obviously just another way of shining the spotlight back on oneself. In a sense, it is a way of exalting ourselves in our own eyes.

Some of us go so far as to make a fetish of being humble. Their thoughts are boringly, on nothing but their virtue and humility and they exalt themselves over others who seem not sufficiently humble.

This way of being is nothing but self-flattery, which draws a person farther and farther away from God. If you have focused all of your attention on God and away from yourself then you are approaching life and prayer with true humility. As you remove your attention and awareness from yourself and your concerns, it will naturally move toward God. Anyone can practice this kind of humility, no matter how high or low he or she is held in the esteem of society. If you turn your thoughts toward God, this is true humility.

If I want my dreams to come true the first thing I do is to wake up and knock the “T” that exists in my troubles, treats and can’t to let it be my CAN.

26

My Serenity Prayer God, Give me the grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, Courage to change the things which should be changed and the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other. Living one day at a time, Enjoying one moment at a time, Accepting hardships as a pathway to peace, Taking this sinful world as it is, Not as I would have it, Trusting that God will make all things right, If I surrender to His will, So that I may be reasonably happy in this life, And supremely happy with Him forever in the next.

27

5 HUMAN LIFE IS WORTH LIVING WITH TRUTH BEAUTY AND GOODNESS In my last 40 years of my professional and work life and some 20 years of retired living I have almost every day had come across people who had changed their mannerisms, guise and life style like the chameleons change their colors with the varying reflection of lights or to suit their moods.

Many people believe that the chameleons change colors to disguise themselves and hide from predators.

Camouflage is thus only a secondary reason why most chameleons change their colors but we human beings seem to have a variety of reasons to do so.

Firstly, there were those people I noticed who once walked so boastfully and moved arrogantly with self conceit like the lions and tigers with such pride however, even they too at times had to depend on others in order to move independently and longed to get the needed support and assistance of others.

Then, I saw many others whose eyes and looks were so bright yet so dangerous and vicious that made others 28

apprehensive, totally frightful and gave a lot of phobia however, I noticed that even those looks and eyes began shedding tears like it was raining heavily.

Then, I found people who had such strong and powerful hands and arms that they could shatter large rocks and cut large trees however, a time came when the same arms and hands became so week and lethargic that they too began trembling, oscillating and vibrating like the dry leaves of an old dry tree.

There were occasions when I also noticed the plight of those great orators and fluent speakers who had the loud and roaring voice that could thunder like the lightening and mesmerize their entire audience and yet when time came even their lips had the greatest locks that precluded them from uttering any clear words and sounds.

Of course, I noticed the gradual deterioration of the youthfulness, juvenility, health, wealth and the energies of people that were bestowed by the blessings of nature upon them on this earth however, when the time came I noticed the sure arrival of old age, lifelessness, regrets and death for them as well.

People have asked me many questions relating to these prevailing conditions and predicaments that are faced by us.

What have all these taught us and made us wake up from our slumbers to realize in the end, dear friends?

Let us not show off and prance, lord it over, act like a peacock, give ourselves weak airs and hold false pride upon our living today and present life because in the stream of time I have noticed that the best and the greatest performers of one time or another are forced down and fail by circumstances and situations beyond their control and are compelled to become totally helpless.

29

Therefore, if at all possible let us try our best to fill the lives of our loved ones with rich blessings, unconditional love and extreme happiness. In fact I have noticed within my life that to sincerely and honestly display and express these tender loving and kinder human feelings are indeed lot more difficult than making people suffer in pain and giving them sorrow, calamity, persecution and misery.

November 2018

This was the Home that I was allocated to live with my family on my posting as the Principal of a rural school in 1965.

30

6 Good And Bad Days It is believed that many things in life are temporary and uncertain therefore if things are going good for us let us enjoy it to the fullest because they will not last forever.

However, if on some days things are not going well and we are feeling bad let us not worry too much about them because they too cannot last forever either.

In the words of my ancestors when things are not adding up in our life let us start subtracting them gradually. That is just the simple arithmetic of living a life as we want it to be. I firmly believe that our every day may not or cannot be as good as we want and wish but there is always something good in every day.

There may come a Good or a Bad Day but just keep smiling and moving as usual because we have a lot to be thankful for getting this short life.

31

7 TURN ALL YOUR SORROWS TO BLESSING. A long time ago in my daily activities I saw and met grief that was drinking a cup of sorrow and I called out, “Hey grief! It tastes sweet now doesn’t it?”

Grief looked at me and answered, “Oh! You have caught me unawares and you have ruined my business. Now how can I keep selling sorrow when happy people like you now know that it is a blessing?”

Often we all make this mistake and forget to turn all our sorrows to blessing. Many good and honest people have touched my life tenderly with care even if for only a moment yet I have not been the same from that moment on. I have begun to feel liked, loved and wanted. These friendly and happy interactions have blessed both of us and helped us turn our sorrows to blessing.

32

There will come a time I feel that the sea and the land might want to have a rest and even the heavens might withdraw from accepting their visitors temporarily and we the weary travellers of this universe may need a good rest from our journey. Then amidst our resting time we will be able to see that beyond our old ideas there are a lot of new fields of fresh crops, fruits and flowers to look at, appreciate and use.

That is the place I would like to dwell when I am resting.

This universe that we dwell in and enjoy our short given life we are able to see the sands, rocks, sea and the forests and on these natural resources if we look carefully we can spy with the bright internal eye the secret footprints of many teachers and saints and catch those wise voices to keep celebrating our homecoming.

If we look toward the secret sky with intense care we would be able to notice that there are things that we do not want to happen but have to accept. There are many things we do not want to know but have to know in order to live our life well.

Of course, there will be people around us who we cannot live without but have to let them go.

This is a human phenomenon that many of us call love and affection and keep flying for long distance to achieve the many benefits and happiness that it willingly offers. There may be a thousand veils to obscure this feeling but it is so strong that it finds its rightful place in the hearts and souls of kind and considerate people. We need to search every nook and corner of our living and learn to take a bold step to locate it even if we have to take steps without our feet.

33

My work and family life has convinced me that there are nothing that we call beautiful in this life that we can ever lose because they are always just behind that thinly disguised veil and we have to detect that presence as soon as we can to lead a happy and peaceful life. I strongly feel that all the things and people that are my beloved really continue to live on in my heart forever even if I am not able to feel and see it at first but when the crunch comes they come out and give us a lasting hug. This is my reason to say that we must seek for that peaceful resting place not elsewhere but in the hearts and minds of our loved ones.

We human beings are in a better position to express a lot more love, affection, kindness, care and blessing than we can ever imagine. When we have completed all the useful work we were sent to this universe to do we will be allowed to shed our form we call our body which imprisons our soul like the pretty cocoon encloses the future butterfly and when the time is right we can let go of it. Then we will be free of all the pain, fears and worries and be able to fly out as the free butterfly returning into the atmosphere.

This universe is a beautiful place where we are never alone because we continuously grow and interact with everyone of our liking to sing and to dance with our loved ones. Thus we would be surrounded with more love and affection than we can ever imagine.

We all know that there are no mistakes and no coincidences when we are conducting ourselves honestly because all the events are blessings given to us to keep learning from all our good experiences. Of course, as I said before there is what we call Nirvana which is leading you to a greener pasture and 34

putting you to sleep soundly to keep on keeping on with your new life.

So to conclude this section of my presentation I would like to keep lighting the path of my living with love. If I had my way I would like to keep falling in love again and again and scatter the gold dust of love all over the world that is fast becoming cruel and unkind. I would like everyone to act like the cool spring and feel the breeze of love drift continuously to every corner of the earth. In my opinion this earth needs to be dressed and redressed in the colours of love to sustain all the people.

Finally I would like all the people to carve the gems of hate out of the stony hearts and light all the future paths with the fragrance of love so that all the present glance of love becomes crystal clear and all of us are blessed by the love.

35

8 RESPECT FOR YOUR VALUES In this world those people who relate with you but who have not learned to show due respect to you, your personal values and your human dignity then it is wise to stop having anything to do with them. This courageous action will lead you to real joy and full happiness in your life and living. If you continue your relationship with them by caring and sharing things with such people, it is definite that you will not be able to concentrate with your daily activities properly and thus would not be able to perform well to continue doing greater things. They will become a hindrance for you in all your success.

There are times in your relationship with people that you respectfully confess that you care for them. You say that I care for you and I am always there for you. You even oblige to let them know that you will be there for them in good, bad and ugly times and will be able to spend your valuable time with them. However, the real concern arises when you find out that they disregard all your human feelings and show stark disrespect for your activities. Do they reciprocate in your days of difficulties or rejoice with you in your good 36

events? If not then it is wise to quickly drop them from your life altogether and keep them at bay.

Without giving much wise thoughts to find out what is churning in their mind against you and not fully comprehending their dubious feelings for you, you oblige to assist and become their saviour and helper thereby keep responding well and running behind them to blindly grant them all their superfluous needs and excessive wants. You fail to realise and fully understand that they have no respect and honour for your human dignity. You should tarry a little and consider deeply clarifying your relationship to find out the true nature of those deceitful friends or so called relatives. Instead often times you are caught up in their false deeds and words, all their sweet talks that keep displaying their false promises and their deceptive conduct. The ultimate result is that you are caught up in the adverse labyrinth of weak friends and relatives and keep suffering silently.

The obvious question to pose here is ‘What kind of unreal world are you living in?’ knowing full well that they hardly have kind words for you and you are bombarded daily with falsehood and deceitful conduct. The real concern is that you as a decent human being keep believing as truthful all their words and doubtful behaviour to keep assisting them regardless. Are you not worried and concerned for being in this kind of doubtful human relationship? If you are not, then the question is why not?

Can you not see that you are disturbing your daily living and keep spoiling your smooth and healthy life?

If you are really special for any of your relatives, friends or family members they would not brag and keep convincing you that they are your confidante, instead they would act to show you in various obvious ways that you are part and 37

partial of their life. They would always be there for you in your good, bad and ugly times irrespective of any lame excuses. Alternatively you fall in the trap of falsehood, deceptive actions and even harsh words often.

Your existence in their world or life has no meaning and reality because for them you are just no one. The simple understanding is that all such people who dwell in your life and around you to continue giving you disrespect and such torturous life should quickly be discarded and thrown out of your relationship because for them your existence does not make any difference to them. You should exclude yourself gradually from their company and stop dealing with them now. Whether it is their home or their heart, it is better to keep your distance from them.

Often several people tend to pose a very relevant question to me. Why have you detached yourself from people you had developed so much love for and why is it that you cannot forget them and live without them? I have some very pungent and corrosive words as answers for them. This reply might sting you but it is the truth nothing but the truth for me.

When a young child who has fallen sick and then the concerned mother has to give some bitter medicine to heal the sick child quickly but the child feels that the mother is acting like an enemy and in fact it is the bitter medicine that goes on to properly heal the child. So the presentation hereafter may seem like the bitter medicine to wake you up to start a new and meaningful living. This has to be said because those relatives and people who act to disrespect you need to be made aware that they are hurting you badly and they have no reason to do so and conduct themselves so erratically.

38

Just think and seriously consider that in this whole world where proper human loving relationship is meant to flourish, you were dished out with some irresponsible and unworthy people in your life to relate, live and interact. The question is why you had to drop them from your life. Of course, you had a lot of valid reasons to take that final action. You decided to abandon them as well as that relationship because they were giving you pain instead of pleasure.

Then the other good reason was that those people were wrong for you to relate with and your inner soul dictated and confirmed that all those people who you regarded as your everything they became unworthy human being to associate with and continue all relationships. The people you were regarding as divine and godly they had no real human qualities to share. You had given all your best for their personal welfare but they turned out to be selfish and deceitful. Now you feel that they had never done anything worthy for you and yet they are neither feeling any guilt about their conduct towards you nor have any concerns about you.

Now it is absolutely reasonable to leave them alone and think seriously about your own welfare because they do not show any respect and concern for you. However, it seems you are that unwise one who is running after them and still caring for them to endeavour to continue and honour this false relationship. It should now be clear to you that you are unnecessarily involved and wasting your time, effort and brain. If your love and affection were honourable in developing the relationship then you have not lost anything.

You should be happy and thankful that you managed to get out of the problematic situation and the snare of false relations and deceptive people. The truth is that you should thank Almighty God that you were guided well in this 39

predicament and shown you the mirror of truth, beauty and goodness.

Now you have to think and understand that in your own opinion and view you have your own respectful human values and self respect. That you are no longer that useless individual with whom people can play with and keep deceiving you to break your heart. You are an important and respectful human being worthy of getting the respect and honour of all decent people. You are not going to take any cruelty, deceitful behaviour, falsehood and pretence from anyone. You are not a drum to be beaten and played freely with any tune that the unacceptable individuals wish. Be brave. Be strong. Never act and talk like a coward but wake up to get free you from all captivity and cages.

As in real life people come and depart from our life so a lot of people would come and go from your life. Your life and your entire work and social world is also subject to this flow of people but one thing to remember always is that you are not the only one affected by this mobility and continuous reincarnation. If you observe deeply then you may laugh and mock at yourself because some senseless people have taken advantage of you as an honest human being and you have tolerated all. Everything was happening right in front of you and you as an honest being were not able to detect the dubious dealings and fully understand the situation. There is no need to cry over the spilt milk but to wake up and move on away from those kinds of people, places and prospects.

Stop worrying and be happy.

There is yet another specific point to remember and that is that you should never regard yourself as any inferior individual because if you wish and are determined then you can conquer the whole world and keep serving the community in the best possible way. The only requirement 40

for all these is to leave the company of all such deceitful and selfish people. Learn to respect yourself because respecting and honouring those that hurt you would never give you the needed peace, prosperity and progress. The day you begin to do these you are certain to find your destination and the right place in the world.

Generally it is true that many of us neither rightfully respect us nor we like and love ourselves and take good care about us. If those of us who learn to do these then no irresponsible person can ever take advantage of us and we will always save ourselves from all kinds of deception, problems and bondage. We would save ourselves from begging for love and respect in our life and would never let people laugh at our common errors. We should never lose our self respect and run after the useless and deceptive people who regard you as odd and redundant. Often we make this unforgiveable mistake of caring about the wrong people who have only evil thoughts about us. This should stop if you want to live a happier life.

There is one more important thing to remember and that is if one wishes to do something great in life then one must look ahead because to dwell in the past is futile except when there is some lesson to be learnt. The one who lives in the past cannot progress because that is what has already happened and is your yesterday but your tomorrow is yet to come and should be your main concern. You cannot spoil your life by being with and associating with unworthy individuals. Always aim at making a special place for you in the world. The choice is yours.

The best thing you can do is to leave the company of worthless people and forgive them for all problems they have caused for you and move on to make your life even better.

All that have happened is your past and to dwell there would 41

make you more despondent and retarded. You have brilliant events ahead of you to make you happier and healthier.

Make greater decisions and take bolder steps but forget all that caused you tension because these things will keep happening.

No one else will care for you in this competitive and changing world but you yourself. You have to think hard to care and love your life and do whatever you think is objective for you.

It is you who can get you out of pain and all problems. So get up and keep moving ahead with a lot more inspiration to get whatever better things and pleasure your life is destined to present for you. It is always sensible to try to understand people who associate with you and judge them wisely. Then you will be able to enjoy life better and be able to witness great events and improve your status. Be happy because this should be your main goal in life. Learn to be happy even in your bad days and worst moments because these will show you the road ahead to solve your problems. Gather your courage and develop talents and skills to overcome all your difficulties. Just leave the company of people who do not support you and hinder your progress. These steps will eradicate many of your pains and sorrows in life.

Finally if all these make you happy your life will change for the better and you will definitely rid yourself of all bad elements in your life. If not greater tragedies will keep bothering you. So be happy and make happy all the people who care for you. All those who do not have respect for your values and culture just stop to even think and associate with them anymore in order to lead a happier, healthier and more peaceful life.

42

9 LET THERE BE GREATER WISDOM TO LIVE IN PEACE AND HARMONY Many of the current violent protests by people all over the world are really disturbing for all peace loving citizens and all those of us who believe in the democratic idea of resolving our differences through proper and wise dialogues. In the last year or so these protests have escalated many folds and there seems no end to these irresponsible conducts where properties are damaged, people are hurt, arrests are made for unlawful behaviour and the prevalence of many other prevailing adverse situations.

The leaders, administrators, the churches and the communities as well as the controlling authorities are unable to do much to curtail the occurrence of these rowdy situations. I used to love to watch, read and enjoy the news items through the various multi medium but sadly and unfortunately now I have to switch off the radio, television and stop buying the newspapers that promote such kinds of 43

disturbing and sensational news items because of the frequency of violent, criminal and disturbing aspects therein.

All these have become unbearable for ordinary citizens and we now only hope that sooner or later there will come a day when people of all countries, administrations, businesses, governments, races, cultures and creeds would put aside their differences and learn to come together in love, peace and understanding to join their hands, hearts and minds in that form of unification that would suit the most enlightened creations of God we call the human race which should be practicing the values of truth, beauty and goodness at all times.

If my hopes and aspirations come to full fruition within my life time, we would be able to deal with a lot of economic, social and cultural hardships and difficulties that face us currently and would be able to heal and please the suffering people of this world. If this wish comes alive then a completely new and a lot more civilized breed of human beings may emerge to bring joy to our future generations.

May God grant these wiser and enlightened people together with their leaders and governments proper words, actions, thoughts, character and hearts to retrace the past steps to discover a lot greater wisdom that would strengthen and improve our future trails and paths that we left along the way in our quest for making this world a better place than what reason our Creator had sent us here. We were not created to only live our life but to love it and celebrate it with all our fellow beings.

So let us just do those for happiness and peaceful coexistence. I only hope that we all wake up from our deep slumbers, review our systems that have gone wrong and be guided accordingly to make our journey worthy and rewarding.

44

Let there be greater awakening among all of us to fire up with hope and wisdom within us so that even a lot brighter lights are lit again for all of us to live well and celebrate our lives as enlightened human beings.

May God help us all to enjoy our lives as was originally intended by our creator. Let us all preach and practice peaceful protests and let us learn to agree to disagree.

November 2019

45

10 I BELIEVE THAT MY HEAVEN IS ABOVE MY HEAD AND UNDER MY FEET I must BE GENTLE because all our gentle times will heal our sorrows. I must BE SWIFT to love and make haste to be kind because our life is a journey not a destination. The journey of life can be made so beautiful that it needs no destination. We are all eager passengers on a boat called life and we are all alive in the moment called now. Life is a voyage that is homeward bound.

There are no angels in heaven in particular to guide us so we have to make our way there as we have been conducting our life on this earth. So while behaving here we must remember that there are three important things for all human life- to be kind, to be kinder and to be the kindest.

46

The reality of life is life itself whose beginning is not in the womb and the ending is not in the grave for the years that pass are naught but a moment in eternal life and the world of matter as well as all in it is but a dream. So let us forgive everyone for everything every day. There is only one path to joy and to heavenly living on this earth and we call it LOVE. I live my life and construct my daily affairs around ten Rs – risk, reopen, reconstruct, relax, release, refresh, rethink, reveal, regard and remember. I will never forget the time I spend peacefully with my Creator. I only want Him to continue to be my saviour and I promise to remain His friend.

How can I turn back when I am bound to travelling to Him? The most likeable people I have come across in my life are those merry souls who have known defeat, faced suffering, made continuous struggle and had some losses and then gradually found their way out of these depths of difficulties and then I agreed that such beautiful people do not just happen but they learn to overcome and live well.

In my many years of teaching I gathered a few drops of wisdom from my students. The ones that succeeded taught me perseverance, hard work, diligence and confidence and those that failed helped me learn the art of try and try again. I have never forgotten that all my decuples were once my greatest gurus. If we all tarry a little and look back at our students we will be able to gather a lot of wisdom and knowledge. I have never let dust and foam gather on this great institution of reverse learning but I always remembered to be myself because there was no one better qualified to 47

give me all I needed. I knew that we are each gifted in a unique and important way therefore it is our prime privilege and our continuous adventure to our own special bright light for the darker routes ahead.

In my days of learning from my many quality teachers I came to realize that it was hard to find a being of great wisdom and rare were those places in which they were born and bred so those of us who got the opportunity to accompany them when they appeared in search of knowledge had good fortune indeed. They made me realise that life is just another chance to grow up well and develop a peaceful soul. Let us play our game in life well because once the game of chess is over the king, the queen as well as the pawns go back in the same box.

It took me a while to get the message loud and clear that each small part of my everyday life is part of the total harmony of the universe.

48

11 WHAT IF? I have often wondered about these visionary episodes that occurred many times in my life. What if I slept tonight and what if in my dream I went to the heaven and there I picked many strange, sweet and beautiful flowers and fruits and what if when I woke up I had some of those flowers and fruits in my hand and continued with my dreams.? I should then be blessed to make all my continuous dreams a reality.

This will become my spiritual journey that will be very personal and an individual happening for me to listen to all the truths, goodness and beautiful events about myself. I would then like to tenderly hold on to all those kind words, worthy actions, divine thoughts, my best character and sincere heart. If we learn to trust our dreams I am told that in them are hidden the gate to eternity.

49

MY RELATED THOUGHTS Every day I then would like to be happy, smile at events and people and laugh heartily because those will provide sweet and peaceful music to my soul.

It is good human nature and conduct to be kind, caring and considerate in this short human life because many people we meet in our daily activities are fighting a hard battle of life and living.

I have lost many of my dear ones and it is my personal experience that the bitterest tears that I had shed over the graves and funeral gatherings have been the words that are left unsaid and all the deeds left undone.

After reaching my 80th birthday it has become my clear understanding that the little things in life are infinitely vital and important so it is better to love your family with the times at your disposal with your hands and your hearts and always remember to share all that you have been given and have. I have come to know that those whom true love has held, it will go on holding forever.

Whatever has gone around in life I believe will certainly come around in one form or the other. Therefore, I have decided not to take my life’s experiences too seriously. Above all I do 50

not let them hurt me because I know that they in reality are nothing but dream experiences. I know that if circumstances are bad and I am asked to bear them I quickly decide not to make them part of myself but keep playing my part in life not forgetting that they are only temporary events and roles.

My ancestors made me believe that not everything that can be counted in life counts and not everything that counts can be counted. Similarly if the sculptor is constructing his art the more the marble is wasted the more the statue grows and shapes better.

We are given many lessons in life by our parents, teachers and faithfully friends but it is with the clear mind and sincere heart that we can perceive things rightly. As a student I had to be ready and then my masters appeared to let me have the knowledge, talents and skills. I was able to get those and use them to my advantage.

There have been many days of interest to me however, there have been two special days in a week about which and upon which I never did worry. One of these days is yesterday and the other is tomorrow. I just worry about today and learn from yesterday to build my tomorrow even better I believe that all things grow with time except grief. However, all kinds of pains are meant to go away when attended to with care. Everyone goes through hardship in life and the more we go through them the more we learn and grow.

51

As a son of a farmer I knew that I should hold on to what is good even if it is a handful of earth. Then we should hold on to what we believe even if it is a tree which stands by itself.

Of course, it is good to hold on to what you must do even if it is a long way away from you. Hold on to life even if it is easier to let go and hold on to the hand of your loved ones even if they have gone away from you. These will certainly help you to retreat, refresh, remember and respect.

When I am alone and lonely I think of all the beauty that is still left around me and remain happy because there may be no tomorrow for me. So I do not squander today for there may be no tomorrow for me.

If we believe that death is but a transition from this life to another existence we will always be careful and do the right things. That is life but we must try to understand the whole of life not just one little part of it. That is the reason we must stop, look, listen, read, sing and dance whenever we get that opportunity.

Do not suffer in silence but be creative in order to fully understand life. It is wise to open our hearts and let the goodness flow from those deep wells and springs within and give hugs our loved ones to warm the souls and places around you. That is why it is believed that a tender hug warms the soul and puts a cheery smile in the heart.

52

12 MY REALISATIONS IN LIFE After my careful consideration of various life events for many years I have come to believe that our life is constantly testing us for many of our current level of commitments.

Consequently, I now realize that the greatest rewards of our life are reserved for those of us who always demonstrate a lasting and never-ending commitment to keep acting effectively until we are able to achieve our intended objectives.

My ancestors told me that this level of resolve can definitely move mountains of problems and hardships in life however, it is vital that we be constant, pro-active and consistent. Early in life this belief looked and seemed as simplistic as it sounded then as I moved on in life with determination and care I found out for sure that it is still the common denominator separating those of us who courageously live our dreams in our short living from all those who live and spend their life on this earth in regret and without much hope in the powers of the Supreme Creator.

Gradually my whole life became a constant movement in all my relationships, my words, actions, thoughts, character and heart to enable me to keep trying to capture all those 53

important movements in terms of the healthy past as my wealthy memory that made me learn and make appropriate adjustments to a lot of things in life so that I retained my composure and was never afraid to act in life. Thus all my relationships became the mirror in which to see everyone as they were without any pretence.

I then went on a specific self discovery to practice and achieve truth, beauty and goodness of humanity and wanted them to become my main goal in life. It became very clear to me that there was no living thing on earth which was not related to something or other. It then became fully clear to me that we all are given this short life in this complex world for specific reasons, worthy actions and self realizations. One tiny movement of my current living began to constantly change my total culture and way of life.

There were often times when unfortunately I found myself in the middle of nowhere and so completely lost however, it was within that middle of nowhere that I managed to find myself again all because I believed in the principles of I CAN and NEVER GIVE UP. Then I kept moving regardless of any adversities in life because I realized that wise movements in life were my right steps and without the correct movements my life was unthinkable. Then after reading many of William Shakespeare books, I realized that although time seemed very slow for me, I did not want to wait but move faster despite it giving me a few scary moments. However, I did not want to wait long for anything and lament but rather at having every shorter time in life I quickly learnt to celebrate well and wisely. Thus I began loving my life to live it with care and greater determination. I quickly found out that all my time at hand became eternal.

54

Presently, I am very happy with my life at this age because I firmly believe what I am and what I want to become. I ensure now that I do not unnecessarily worry about anything in my life that I am unable to control and this has become a worthy lesson for me. Therefore, my personal advise after all my realizations is for my family and friends to stay alive and keep moving; remain flexible and keep exercising well to develop full range of things that enable you to go down the slopes of life carefully and climb up the steeper hills and roads ahead in our daily living of this short but interesting life.

Finally, I now realize that my time on this earth is limited so I do not want to waste it living the life of someone else. I certainly would never like to be trapped by the dogma of living with the results of other people who think differently and move in odd and wrong directions in life. I do not wish to let any noise of the opinions of other people full of fraudulent ideas to drown my own inner voice that tells me always to stay away from all forms of hypocrisy, puppetry, pretence, imposture and double dealings. It has taken me long time to develop the courage to follow my heart and intuition but it certainly has done it well to make me feel better.

November 2019.

55

13 The Only Thing That Lives Forever Is Love.

Many of us believe that for everything there is a season and a time for every matter under the heaven and our control. I have given a lot of messages to my family members, friends and relatives but my new message to everyone today is this.

If we act with enough courage and have faith in our efforts and the blessings of God then the only way for us is forward.

I have often stopped and looked inside me in my heart and this action has assisted me find my way ahead. Whenever I was sorrowful in life I never failed to look in my heart and mind to see what the truth of the matter was and found my way to get out of the predicament. In fact often my heart and mind told me that I was weeping for something that should have been my delight. So I moved on because I found out that nobody could have given me any wiser advice than myself.

Once I had a taste and feeling of trust in the powers of the Supreme Being I began walking safely, moving ahead with new dreams and doing my daily activities with my vision turned up skyward to get the needed blessings. Flowers began to feed my soul and I felt in safe hands at all the time.

56

Gradually with hard work and added confidence there was mobility in my life but great peace and prosperity began pouring in from all sides. I felt that stillness was the altar of spirit. I began to visualise one day at a time and the best thing about my future was that it only came to greet me one day at a time. I gradually began to feel and know a form of Nirvana had come to me and that I was blessed to be an eternal being with endless benefits.

Consequently, I let my soul smile through my heart and my heart kept smiling through my vision of the future for me and my family. We all began to scatter rich smiles in sad hearts.

From that instance our souls began to flower and bear sweet fruits.

We did face some grief but they were as individual as our lives. We began to manage our joys, our hardships and our lives as best as God wanted us to do. We began to live and perform for all those who had feelings of love for us, for all those who knew us truly and cared for us and we reciprocated with all the good that we could possibly do. We began to listen carefully to the whispers beyond this world and our life and realised that there was someone special watching over us.

Then we began to feel grateful for whatever came to us because all was sent to us as a guide and blessings from beyond. We had desires, we asked for help but more so we believed in ourselves to receive everything that was given according to our needs. As a result of our involvement in our life we began celebrating the connections that existed among us. We all became one part of that great family that unified our hearts and our spirits with renewed love and brighter light. We began listening silently to feel the truth, beauty and goodness of humanity and never failed to celebrate the connection. Thus the Divine became the father to love us 57

through wisdom and the mother to give us unconditional love and care.

So from then on whenever we were looking for certainty we found comfort in our uncertainty. It was comforting to know that we became a part of something truly miraculous on this earth. We moved on with confidence and added inspiration.

I began to accelerate my efforts to express my personal and internal views and ideas without any fear and reservation.

This became the love of my continuous learning. The more poems, essays and short stories I wrote the more I came to know that the only thing that lives with us in life forever is love.

58

14 MY ULTIMATE DESTINATION I know that one day my heart will take me to my ultimate destination and I will be peacefully dwelling with my beloved, my Creator, my Protector and my Destroyer. He will get rid of all the pains, sorrows and worries and I will reach my Nirvana when He finds the perfect cure for me.

My home has been where my heart and soul kept smiling, laughing, playing, praying and singing without any shyness and shame and all my tears kept drying at their own pace. I made sure that all that lived with me stayed happy and were able to make their lives better with a little assistance from me.

In my happy living with my loved ones I found that there is within all of us a healthy potential for truth, beauty and goodness beyond our imagination. Accepting, preaching and practicing these great human qualities, seek no rewards for anyone except making them well groomed individuals. These 59

qualities of humanity make people listen well without judgement and love unconditionally. I would soon make my departure for peaceful and better living in heaven but a voice that will still ring in the ears of people who cared for me will miss the touch of that loving hands and arms that have vanished and the sound of that helpful voice has gone still.

I am leaving a lot of my thoughts as a legacy for my present and future generations to ponder when they come to those moments in which they feel completely alone because as I have found in my life time patience and silence have been my good companions of wisdom.

A lot of what bother us that too will vanish with the time and all the sadness that makes us despondent will gradually fly away on the wings of time that waits for no one. One thing I always remembered in spending my life as a confident individual was to ask and an appropriate answer shall always be given to make the heart and soul ring with joy.

In my family life of many years I am grateful that I was able to learn a lot from the silence around me, from the talkative people with me, by being tolerant and from the intolerant. Of course, whatever kindness I possessed came from being unkind and I never fail to be grateful to all these gurus that made me what I am today. I do not cry because it is over and now I keep smiling because it happened in my favour.

My ancestors often gave me another obvious knowledge to say that I was unique. They made me believe that since everybody is an individual nobody can be you, so definitely you are unique. I was convinced that no one can tell me how to use my time because that was mine alone as was my life 60

my own so I needed to proceed confidently to mould it and make it the way I wanted. Therefore, all my life I kept hoping well and having well.

I still clearly remember the message of one of my favourite teachers, Pundit Rohan Prasad who said that your words, actions, thoughts, character and heart have strong wings so always speak, do, think, conduct and feel good in life and conduct yourself like the pretty flowers and turn your face to the sun for good living and manageable energy.

Those of my readers who have read the contributions of my nanny Radhika would have found out that she always wanted me to look for the answers inside my questions by putting my ears down close to my soul and listen hard enough until you get what you are searching. This skill made me act mindfully, accept things entirely, move strongly, think well and softly, speak clearly and articulately, live simply with pleasure and love all that you have completely.

61

15 HUMAN KINDNESS, LOVE AND TENDER LOVING CARE FOR OUR PEOPLE

Life is very difficult. How can we be anything but kind - Buddha 62

By reading Mark Twain I came to know that kindness was the real language which the deaf could hear and the blind could see and I tried my best to learn that important language. Of course, I realized that with kindness comes a warm smile which is the universal language of kindness.

I then read the views of Paramahansa Yogananda who said that kindness is the light that dissolves all walls between souls, families and nations. I also began to observe and experience that too often I too tended to underestimate the power of a loving human touch, a genuine smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment or the simple and smallest act of tender loving care and that all of these ultimately would have the power and potential to turn our life around. The older and more matured I got, the more I began to realize that being kind and caring was not only the best human quality but that it was the most important conduct of all people. Then my long and determined journey of human kindness began.

63

I often asked people to define human kindness to me and I received a variety of definitions from different people from different walks of life. My reason for asking was that I had begun to firmly believe that to be kind is an excellent human quality for everyone and it is very easy to spread because the more we spread it the greater joy we receive and get rid of all types of hate.

After I received valuable responses from my friends and colleagues, I then looked at kindness as the quality of being friendly, generous and considerate and although a lot of other words are attached to it no one would be able to provide a complete meaning of the word.

However, words such as affection, gentleness, warmth, concern, tender loving care are some that I think are deeply associated with human kindness. I have never regarded kindness as having any negative connotation that sometimes is regarded as someone who is naĂŻve and weak because for me being kind definitely requires courage, strength and love for all living things. For many of us kindness can be an interpersonal skill and a great human talent.

Many of us are familiar with the ideas in Charles Darwin’s Survival Of The Fittest but for me the basic human instinct to survive is not associated with selfishness and look for ourselves only. Darwin who studied human evolution in depth did not see mankind as being only biologically competitive and self-interested because he believed that we are a profoundly social and caring species and he argued that sympathy and caring for others is instinctual for human beings. Therefore, it

64

is a basic expectation of everyone that all human beings should be kind and caring by nature.

In our daily living we detect that kindness remains the most important predictor of satisfaction, stability and harmony in our family life and general living. I have experienced that there are various practical and different ways to practice kindness. One of the best ways to be kind is to open our minds, hearts, eyes and ears to be proactive when we notice people in need and we could give them a helping hand. Thus by showing such human feelings, gratitude and conduct we automatically create a deep sense of community and mutual understanding among our people.

When we are able to notice and feel that other living things are suffering, our human conduct enables us to say some kind words, give a smile, open our heart to help and perform many other acts of kindness. Not only those but when we celebrate special occasions for someone we care and love to give them honest compliments, best wishes, messages of goodwill and blessing and even just sincerely thanking them then naturally we are expressing kindness and showing them that they are special to us. When we open our door to the vulnerable and poor, elderly and needy and do some required work for them we are expressing the idea of human kindness.

I realized the real value of kindness by witnessing various events of unkindness around me and at times unknowingly being unkind myself. This realization made me notice the effects of being kind to others and digging deeper in my conscience to begin practicing and 65

preaching about this effective human attitude and conduct. Then three things became important for me to value my human life: the first was to be kind; the second was to be kinder and the third was to be the kindest. I found out that any acts of love, care and kindness inspire and develop greater kindness, Kindness has been my innate willingness to fullheatedly celebrate the successes of all people as well as my responses to all others who are in difficulty. Thus for me kindness has been my open and willing joy and happiness for others. Kindness has also assisted me to tell the truth (good, bad or ugly) to people in a gentle way because by doing so has been helpful to the other person as well as to me. Receiving accurate feedback in a loving and caring way has been an important part of a trusted relationship for me. I believe that the courage to give and receive truthful feedback is a key component of human growth and flexible thinking. I now feel that kindness certainly makes all of us the most beautiful person in the world no matter what or how we look like.

Kindness includes being kind to yourself and treat yourself kindly to speak gently and kindly to yourself and take good care of yourself and then this vital human quality will easily and gradually flow to others. As I have said in the beginning there are many ways to be kind and many opportunities to practice this effective and essential human quality. Perhaps kindness is a value that could add more satisfaction to and strengthen our relationships with all living things.

We have to think of doing the act of kindness as soon as the occasion arises for it is hard to know how soon it will 66

be too late and the action will no longer be needed. I believe that it is wise and proper for all human beings to show kindness to all whenever and wherever possible.

Of course, this human conduct is always possible for everyone without any excuse because an important part of kindness consists of loving and caring people in need more than what they deserve. I do not think that compassion is about finding solutions because it is about giving all the required and needed care, love and attention that we have got to give to the deserving people. These are some of my reasons why we should carry out a random act of kindness with no expectation of any reward because who knows that some day we ourselves might need the same.

I have never believed that there is any such thing as a small act of kindness because every act of kindness to whoever, whenever and wherever performed creates a continuous ripple with no logical end. It should always be number one attribute of all human beings. So if we spread love everywhere we go then no one would ever leave your company without joy and happiness. This is the reason why human love and kindness for whoever, whenever and wherever conducted and displayed are never wasted because they always make a great difference for both the giver and the recipient and bless the one who receives these and also bless the individual who performs this human act of generosity.

My religion is humanity and what I have in common with all human beings is an appreciation of kindness and compassion and I have always leaned towards these human conducts whenever the need arose. My ancestors taught me to use my lips and tongue to always speak 67

words of kindness and I was told that this was the reason why my grandmother slipped a few drops of honey in my mouth at birth. My grandfather was even more precise with his advice when at age twelve he said that we should use our lovely eyes to seek out the best attributes in people. My parents indoctrinated me by saying that food is good for our health and living but we must be able to spare and share some with the poor, needy and the hungry. Then my guru at school added that we will live a happy and healthy life ourselves to walk with pride and great honour with everyone around us and never feel alone.

As a consequence of my good upbringing and worthy early education, the acts and practice of human kindness have never weakened the stamina or softened my willingness to give whatever kindness I could in my life to the people who came into contact with me. Very early in life I learned that that is what compassion does; it challenges our assumptions, our sense of self-limitation and strengthens our determination to serve the community to be worthy of living and let others live a better life in the world.

We will gradually destroy a lot of our feelings of loneliness, isolation and estrangement and try to co-exist in the community peacefully in harmony. These in turn would develop our constrictive state of mind because as we develop compassion, our hearts and minds open to serve our people. As a result of our biological, social and cultural construction, kindness will gradually become a reality and we would become kinder by being kind to everyone. We would repent and regret on all of our 68

unkind deeds but in the end we will become a better human being.

It has been repeatedly said that although it does not take a lot of effort and thought to practice kindness and yet the effect it would have on our family, friends and others would be far reaching and handsomely rewarding indeed. Various writers and sociologist have written ways to brighten our days as well as the life of others by being kind and I can recall a few of those from my reading and my recollections.  Hold the door open for someone.  Give someone a warm compliment.  Call a family member or a friend you do not see often.  Plant a tree and learn to conserve forest.  Smile at someone.

The prime way to begin the practice of kindness is to praise, show respect and love our parents, grandparents and siblings because this gesture which is simple to perform will ultimately reveal the most meaning in our life. If we live away from them then we should call them or visit them regularly because these are the people who matter most in our life and deserve our care and love.

Then we must learn to put the earth and home first. By being kind to these we would definitely help to reduce the evil effects of global warming. Make our home the best temple to practice peace, prosperity and progress.

69

If we learn to practice random kindness it is certain that we would develop effectively as worthy human being and all our kind gestures would be able to reach many of the wounds of our people to heal them through the expression of greater compassion.

In all my work and family life I have advised many of my students and followers to go and show kindness and love to everyone around you exactly as they are and then see and experience for yourself how humanity makes you feel. There is definitely no wisdom that is greater than the expression of human love, tender loving care for our loved ones and the conduct of human kindness. Thus I now believe that kindness is contagious indeed and it is the duty and responsibility of every person to promote and pass it on.

70

16 POSSIBILITY My experience is that even Angels have fallen and failed.

Why should we have fear of fall and failure?

Journey of our life begins with our first firm step.

I know that everyone has secrets to tell but they fear reprisal.

People who rise and rise are the ones who have learnt to never give up.

People, who love, laugh and learn from mistakes live life well.

Fear for us can be two edged sword when on the one hand it becomes the greatest thief of all our time and on the other hand it becomes our vision and our dreams.

Of course, anything can be possible when we firmly believe in what we are doing.

71

17 My Self Motivation And Inspirations I have heard a few people say, “I’m sad, hurt, angry, mad, disappointed. But you know what? I will put on a happy face and move on. It will hurt but I will survive.”

This is what I call positive stance in life because as I have seen in my life, disappointments are just God’s way of saying, “I have got something better for you but you have to be patient, keep living and loving your life and have faith.”

So I keep telling my loved ones to have hope but never just keep expecting things to happen and look forward to a better living but never wait to do your daily prayers.

In my many years of fruitful work life I have come across some people wanting to take advantage of me so I learnt never to trust a person who lets me down more than twice because I took once as a warning and twice

72

gave me a good lesson but anything more than that was simply taking advantage of me.

I have had and sustained a lot of pain, betrayal and disappointments but I found that each pain made me stronger, each betrayal by people made me more intelligent and every disappointment gave me an opportunity to sharpen my skills and become more skilful. Then life was a favourable experience that made me a lot wiser.

I have had reasonable success in life but this does not mean that I did not experience failures. All my life there was no rush to acquire success and I knew that I had not reached my full potential so there was not much disappointment for me in life.

There was one painful truth of life that I accepted. No matter how much I loved something, in the end your loved one passes away and leaves you with another until death does us part. I loved my children so much that I tried to keep protecting them from all the hurts in the world that included disappointment and that was often a disappointment in itself.

Then I began to read, write short stories, novels and poems, listen to good stories from the scriptures and tried to follow the human values of truth, beauty and goodness thus preparing myself for a life full of shocking realities and stark disappointments.

The final result is that I am now determined to be my own sculptor and I am continuously trying to chisel away the ups and downs of life to create a better living and work as well as family life but I hate to sit down in 73

disappointment when any part of my life is not properly done and made. The fault dear Rama lies in you yourself. Life goes on and I always try to remember that life is constructive work in progress and there is still much to do and achieve. I am not worried when the journey of this short life is going to end but I pray for peace within and outside to live a healthy life and always keep God near me because while He is great He is our saviour.

So when I was sent on a journey on this earth, I had no choice about when or where it would start. I even do not know when, where or how it would end. I am afraid I have no such map. However, all I know for sure is that it is bound to end sometime in the future. I am told that there are rules that apply to my journey but I would learn them as I proceed.

Although my friends claim it, I cannot even control them or even know the correct purpose of my journey. All I know is that once started I must continue every day, whether I feel like it or not. My life must go on.

I began my life with no possessions and when I finish I must turn in all I have accumulated. In the end, some of my colleagues say, I will be rewarded or punished for all my actions and inactions. That is life and I cannot change this. But fortunately a little faith, some hope and a bit of sense of humour can cushion some of the bumps that I am to face. I still have full confidence in the love and protection that God Almighty has for human beings. I will endure and survive the calamities through His kindness.

74

18 This is Life There comes a time in life of everyone when we must make the difficult and important decision to let certain things, ideas and feelings go. It may be a negative attitude that you know for sure no longer serves you and your life; it may be a relationship where you are suffering unnecessarily rather than growing together with love and compassion; or it may be an addiction that you know is destroying you and does not represent you as a good human being. However, it takes a lot of courage to face so many truthful words, actions, thoughts and character about who you are and the choices that you have been making in your life as well as the decisions that you have been taking to improve your future.

I have lived a happy and successful family and professional life for the last eighty years and have served the communities in different countries as best as I possibly could. I have no regrets and I have fulfilled all my objectives in life and still eager to go on with my accomplishments. I am confident that my life in and after here and now is going to be reasonably good because I have faith in the powers and blessings of Almighty God and all my loved ones. Of course, there are 75

many good people around me who are giving me the needed tender loving care and they all deserve my sincere appreciation.

Soon I will be proudly entering into my eighties with the greatest of good feelings, a clearer mind, a loving heart and a kinder disposition. No one owes me anything but I owe a lot to everyone who has served me respectfully and with care.

My hearty and sincere appreciation goes to all my family members, my faithful friends and all those kind and caring people in the local and federal government. I would not have lived this short life well if these thoughtful people did not take the initiative to look after all my needs.

I am not a perfect human being and so I may have inadvertently and unintentionally wronged some of my people somewhere and sometime. For all these I am sorry and as I have decided to let it all go I would like my people to forgive me for my trespasses and let it all go in order to keep the future relationships intact and worthy. I am truly grateful for all the valuable experiences that I have got in my life. We all know that our life is too short for any sort of pent up anger, grudges, stress, sorrow and pain therefore forgiveness becomes the best gift we can dish out to and for each other.

Let us take every effort to make our future life years full of forgiveness, compassionate attitude and a sensible period of positive interactions.

After so many ups and downs as well as great hopes of the future one more year has passed away. Many of us are happy and thankful that a new beginning is here to start for us.

Many of us will happily welcome our every next day with love, joy, and peace. However, there are still so many in this world who have nothing to celebrate because of various reasons such as poverty, sickness and other depressive moments in life. Every next moment is a fresh start to all our 76

plans, activities and tasks which we want to accomplish. Let us start each new day with a desirable goal and see that it is achieved by our hard-work and smart-work.

Every next day of our life is the time when we all are excited about the new opportunities which are going to knock at our door-steps. It is time to forget all the past bad memories and move forward with the positive outlook. Life is short on this earth so people should regularly gather together and celebrate the day and night in their own way. I get very happy when I see that people throw parties, hang out with friends, some plan to sit at home and enjoy together with the whole family. Then some religious people worship God and plan a holy visit to temples of their choice. Each one of us prays to the almighty to shower the richest blessings upon us. So with many wishes we start our new day that unfolds for us. This is life.

“My life was beautiful and I enjoyed every moment of it. It kept on echoing whatever signals I sent out. What I sow so I reaped and whatever I gave I got it back. Most of all what I saw in others I ultimately found out that it existed within me. I took my life as an open book to look at a new page everyday and I developed my own chapters to see that I got a happy ending.�

RLP

77

19 CHANGE I have experienced a lot of changes in my work life and family life where I had to make the form, nature, content and the future course of something completely different from what it was. I have seen people change their names or change their opinion but there were many people who changed the course of history through their struggle and perseverance.

In fact change is one of the permanent features of human way of life. In this essay I want to show various facets and beliefs of change.

For many of us change is something that presses us to move out of our comfort zone.

Often it is harder done than thought. Change in our disposition, conduct and behaviour brings progress and prosperity. I agree with George Bernard Shaw who said that progress 78

is impossible without change and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.

Change to me is destiny-filtered, heart grown and faith built. Often it is said that change is inequitable; not a respecter of persons.

Change is for the better or for the worse, depending on where and how we view it.

Therefore change can be said to have an adjustment period which is different for different individuals.

Motivated individuals are never afraid of change and I have always supported this because I believe that God will never take anything away from us without the intention of replacing it with something better.

Despite all this, change is sometimes uncomfortable because changing from one state to the next upsets our control over outcomes. This is why change has a ripping effect on all those who would not let go.

Therefore I think flexibility is the key. I am told that even a roller coaster ride can be fun if you know when and how to lean and create new balance within the change.

One of the best quotes I found on change is, “Let go of things you cannot change, and focus on things you can.� But one of the ways to 79

make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it and join the song and dance of change.

Change is definitely needed when all the props and practices of the past no longer work. You cannot ‘just hang in there’ but you have to learn to make it happen. No one grows or progresses in retreat but through endurance and perseverance. All my changes in my work and family life were never fixed by crying, worrying or mental tread-milling. My changes were won by persistence so it was my choice to become a victor and not the victim.

I found that every moment that changed my life also changed me who I was. However, I was never afraid to fall apart because it was my opportunity to rebuild myself the way I wished I had been all along.

Change was awkward for me at first. It was a muscle that developed to abundantly enjoy the dynamics of the life set before me. It pushed me to my personal best and I had to call all my strength and skills to manoeuvre it. I soon found out that change was not for chickens and it definitely has causalities for those defeated individuals.

It is worth remembering that every positive change in our life begins with a clear, 80

unequivocal decision that we are either going to do something or stop doing something. So making a big life change is pretty scary for some of us but once we know that there is one thing that ‘regret’ is even scarier than change then we begin to take proper action to bring about the needed change.

I believe that any change will cause us to churn or to learn. Change for me has always changed the speed of time. Time as we know is so slow for the reluctant and yet it is a whirlwind for those of us who embrace it.

Therefore change is more fun to do than to be done to. Change seeks a better place at the end and is complete when we realize we are different from everyone else.

My life has been the ultimate result of the choices I made and the very moment I did not like my life I knew that it was time for me to change and start making better choices.

I knew that change was measured by its impact on all who were connected to it.

Change is charged when we are dissatisfied with where we are. Change does not look for a resting-place but it wants the next launching point. Hence, change is only a waste for all who do not learn anything from it.

81

“Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we have been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.” Says Barrack Obama, the past President of the United States.

Therefore, I believe that our life does not get better by chance but it does get better by change. It is possible that by changing the inner attitude of our minds, we can change the outer aspects of our lives. If we do not change then we do not grow and if we do not grow I do not think we are living well.

For over eighty years I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself, “If today was the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I came to know that I needed to change something. Very often a change of set is needed much more than the change of scene.

I have never doubted that ordinary but good and thoughtful citizens cannot change the world if they tried. It has always been this group that brought about the needed change in this world. If we cannot change the direction of the wind while sailing we can adjust our sail to always reach our destination. But let us be reminded by Deepak 82

Chopra that all great changes are preceded by chaos.

Change happens in the hearts and minds of people first before it is proclaimed by our actions and works. If we can change before we have to change then there will be less pain. We all know that pain can change us but that does not mean it has to be a bad change. We can take that pain and turn it into pleasure and then wisdom.

Life, as we are often reminded, is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So wise people love everyone who treat them right, forgive the ones who do not and begin to believe that everything happens for a reason. If we get a chance then we must take it. If it changes our life, then let it. I am not saying that all this is easy but I can promise that it would be worth it.

Change can flow or jerk, depending on our acceptance or resistance to it. Change uses the power invested in the unseen to reinvent what we see. Change is like driving in a fog; we cannot see very far but we can make the whole trip that way if we persist.

If we want to change the world we must first of all change ourselves. John F Kennedy believed that change is the law of life and those who 83

look only to the past or the present are certain to miss the future.

Let me conclude by saying that we should get to make the choice to take the chance if we want our life to change. Therefore, it is wise to make a wish, take a chance and make a change. If it does not challenge you, it won’t change you.

One of the happiest moments in my life has been when I found the courage to let go of what I could not change. So isn’t it crazy how we can look back in our life and realize how much everything has changed?

The number of people that have left from our life, the new ones that have entered and the old ones that have stayed on are staggering indeed. The memories are hard to forget and the moments are still in sight.

These are some of the powers of change.

Change is here to stay.

84

20 KNOWLEDGE AND AFFLUENCE When God Almighty created human beings He blessed them with many special powers and specific strengths. Two of them that are absolutely necessary for proper human life management for every individual are the power of knowledge and the strength of wealth.

Traditionally the people of Arya Sanatan Faith know and pray to the Goddess of Knowledge who is known as Saraswati.

Those of us who pursue her, love her and pray to ask her to give us her full attention are certainly blessed with the needed power of knowledge.

Then from the same traditional belief we know that there is the other Goddess who is known as Lakshmi, the Goddess of Wealth and Light. It is believed that those of us, who pursue her, love her and pray to ask her to give us her full attention would certainly be blessed with great wealth and enlightenment.

Both these Divine Powers are equally vital for good, truthful and beautiful human development and existence to increase our knowledge, wealth and wisdom to bring about the needed light and brightness to our life and keep any confronting darkness from setting in our life.

85

While both these Divine Powers are absolutely necessary for all of us they are known to be in competition with each other. It is said that when we pay more attention to Saraswati, the Goddess of Knowledge Lakshmi the Goddess of Wealth has the tendency to become somewhat jealous and begins to pay a lot more attention to us. The belief is that the more we seek the Goddess of Knowledge, the more the Goddess of Wealth would listen and assist us.

In this competitive divine conduct the benefactors are always the human beings. Both the needed divine agents of strengths and powers will grant us whatever we want and need, follow us wherever we go and would never leave us. It is believed that the necessary wealth and knowledge that we require and desire gradually becomes ours forever.

Thus every human being has the ability, capability, aptitude and capacity of acquiring the needed and desired knowledge, wisdom, wealth and affluence in order to be able to create a meaningful and worthy life that is self-sufficient and desirable.

Therefore, I believe that while affluence is necessary to live well, knowledge of various kinds is vital to maintain healthy, wealthy and wise human life. Competition of these two elements, namely knowledge and wealth would always make us lead a good, truthful and beautiful human living.

86

21 KINDNESS AND CARE FOR OTHERS

I often ask people to define human kindness to me and I have received a variety of definitions from different people from different walks of life. My reason for the ask was that I firmly believed that to be kind is an excellent human quality for everyone and it is very easy to spread because the more we spread it the greater joy we get and get rid of all types of hate.

After I received valuable responses from my friends and colleagues I then looked at kindness as the quality of being friendly, generous and considerate and although a lot of other words are attached to it no one would be able to provide a complete meaning of the word. However, words such as affection, gentleness, warmth, concern, tender loving care are some that I think are deeply associated with human kindness. I have never regarded kindness as having any negative connotation that sometimes is regarded as someone who is naĂŻve and weak because for me being kind 87

definitely requires courage, strength and love for all living things. For many of us kindness can be an interpersonal skill and a great human talent.

Many of us are familiar with the ideas in Charles Darwin’s Survival Of The Fittest but for me the basic human instinct to survive is not associated with selfishness and look for ourselves only. Darwin who studied human evolution in depth did not see mankind as being only biologically competitive and self- interested because he believed that we are a profoundly social and caring species and he argued that sympathy and caring for others is instinctual for human beings. Therefore it is a basic expectation of everyone that all human beings should be kind and caring by nature.

In our daily living we detect that kindness remains the most important predictor of satisfaction, stability and harmony in our family life. I have experienced that there are various practical and different ways to practice kindness. One of the best ways to be kind is to open our minds, hearts, eyes and ears to be proactive when we notice people in need and we could give them a helping hand. Thus by showing such human conduct we automatically create a deep sense of community and mutual understanding.

When we are able to notice and feel that other living things are suffering our human conduct enables us to say some kind words, give a smile, open our heart to help and perform many other acts of kindness. Not only those but when we celebrate special occasions for someone we care and love, give them honest compliments, best wishes, messages of goodwill and blessing and even just sincerely thanking them then naturally we are expressing kindness and showing them that they are special to us. When we open our door to the poor, elderly and needy and do some required work for them we are expressing the idea of kindness.

88

Kindness has been my innate willingness to full-heartedly celebrate the successes of all people as well as my responses to all others who are in difficulty. Thus for me kindness has been my open and willing joy and happiness for others.

Kindness has also assisted me to tell the truth (good, bad or ugly) to people in a gentle way because by doing so has been helpful to the other person as well as me. Receiving accurate feedback in a loving and caring way has been an important part of a trusted relationship for me. I believe that the courage to give and receive truthful feedback is a key component of human growth and flexible thinking.

Kindness includes being kind to yourself and treat yourself kindly to speak gently and kindly to yourself and take good care of yourself and then this vital human quality will be easily flow to others. As I have said in the beginning there are many ways to be kind and many opportunities to practice this effective and essential human quality. Perhaps kindness is a value that could add more satisfaction to and strengthen our relationships with all living things.

We have to think of doing the act of kindness as soon as the occasion arises for it is hard to know how soon it will be too late and the action will no longer be needed so it is wise to be kind whenever and wherever possible. Of course this human conduct is always possible for everyone without any excuse because an important part of kindness consists of loving and caring people in need more than what they deserve. I do not think that compassion is about solutions because it is about giving all the care, love and attention that we have got to give to the deserving people. These are some of my reasons why we should carry out a random act of kindness with no expectation of any reward because who knows that some day we ourselves might need the same.

89

I have never believed that there is any such thing as a small act of kindness because every act of kindness whenever and wherever performed creates a continuous ripple with no logical end. It should always be number one attribute of all human beings. So if we spread love everywhere we go then no one would ever leave your company without joy and happiness. This is the reason why human love and kindness whenever and wherever conducted and displayed are never wasted because they always make a great difference for both the giver and the recipient and bless the one who receives these and also bless the individual who performs this human act of generosity.

My religion is humanity and what I have in common with all human beings is an appreciation of kindness and compassion and I have always leaned towards these human conducts whenever the need arose. My ancestors taught me to use my lips and tongue to always speak words of kindness and I was told that this was the reason why my grandmother slipped a few drops of honey in my mouth at birth. My grandfather was even more precise with his advice when at age twelve he said that we should use our lovely eyes to seek out the good in people. My parents indoctrinated me by saying that food is good for our health and living but we must be able to spare and share some with the hungry. Then my guru at school added that we will live a happy and healthy life ourselves to walk with pride and honour with everyone around us and never feel alone.

As a consequence of my good upbringing and worthy early education, the act and practice of human kindness have never weakened the stamina or softened my willingness to give whatever kindness I could in my life to the people who came into contact with me.

90

Very early in life I learnt that that is what compassion does; it challenges our assumptions, our sense of self-limitation and strengthens our determination to serve the community to be worthy of living a better life in the world. We will destroy all our feelings of loneliness, isolation and estrangement and live peacefully in harmony. These in turn develop our constrictive state of mind because as we develop compassion, our hearts and minds open to serve our people.

As a result of our construction kindness will become a reality and we are made kinder by being kind.

I believe that a kind gesture can reach all the wounds that only compassion can heal. So it is good to go and love and like someone and something exactly as they are and then watch how quickly they transform into the greatest, truest version of themselves. This is the reason I maintain that there is no other wisdom we can find that is greater than human kindness.

91

22 WE LIVED THE LIFE WE LOVED AND LOVED THE LIFE WE LIVED Over the years I have been writing a few essays on various aspects of life and living and today when I am sitting alone in my study with a glass of red wine, my laptop and my wife then my fingers began taping the keyboard to express some of my feelings on various human attributes. A thought came to me that anger is definitely the most dangerous attribute possessed by humans. I have actually seen people getting ugly in anger and doing things to harm themselves that affect the rest of their lives in a very bad way. Therefore, we resolved to relinquish everything that brings anger into our life and treasure what makes us love the life we love and live the life we love.

92

I know that every one of us gets angry and I do know some of the factors that contribute towards the extent of anger in one and I also have some ideas about how it can be controlled. My thoughts and words might help some of my readers to change their attitude and conduct to lead a happy family life.

It is often said that if we want to know the true nature of people, we must check how they behave when they are angry. Of course, wellbehaved, affable, polite and courteous people become the eye candy for everyone in no time. In fact this is not a difficult conduct for any human being who has been raised in a loving family.

I have heard of many ways how we can control sudden anger. One of which includes counting backwards from 1 to 10 and taking long breaths. Another method says that if you are standing then sit down and if you are sitting down and you get angry then you should lay down somewhere. Doing these activities can lessen our anger. Of course, I found that drinking cold water helped me considerably during my angry moments sometimes. Definitely self-control is the key to controlling anger actually, no matter through what ways you get it.

I do not want my readers to assume that I too have anger problems. I used to get angry like others but very rarely and my anger came and remained with me for a very short period of time usually for 5 to 10 seconds and then disappeared. I guess my God gifted attitude of silence is golden is the real reason behind this.

93

May be that was why people, especially my students and my children, have never got scared of me. This often meant that they would say whatever they liked to me; even if it hurt me I remained calm.

I do not want to praise my own self because if I did I would look like a fool then. I have always been satisfied with my anger issues as they were minor and controllable. However, I cannot say that I will remain like that in the future or become a screaming furious personality. During my teaching and training days I loved to hear about the anger problems of people and how they were able to deal with them.

I was planning to write poetry or fiction for some personal challenge today and here I am, sitting, staring at my laptop screen with my vision getting blurred every few seconds. I wipe my eyes with my already damp hands and start staring at the screen again. I feel lonely and have an urge to hug my laptop right now or kiss it. And I feel an urge to go out for a walk in the woods with my laptop and never come back to my real world. That is my way of dealing with anger.

Of course, my social media acts as my point of rescue. I have a few selected friends who keep in touch with me regularly. They are my best friends, my brothers and sisters who keep liking things and commenting on the home page. I am happy here and with the help of this little box, a machine I am able to interact well. A few years ago I never knew that these types of machines would be understanding feelings more than humans, someday. Yet today we have these technological 94

advancement that helps humanity progress socially, mentally and academically assisting us to keep our cool when we are in need of it.

I know if I would cry right now, there would be someone sitting right beside their computer ready to embrace me with their likes, comments and loving words. I know if I would share my darkest feelings and the strangest emotions there would be people understanding these without judging me. In fact I have posted so many feelings of mine every now and then and have had very positive and supporting comments from my friends.

There were many unknown people who had no idea who I was and where I belonged, what my country, cast and religion were and yet they communicated with me on my Google Drive and at my free-ebooks.net websites. People who just knew that there was some soul out there, craving for their sympathetic or other supportive words. Craving for the love that real world failed to give it; craving for the care that everyone wants and likes but doesn’t get it. Craving for someone who could listen, just listen to what it had to say and to listen to the rants of a restless soul. That is another way to conquer anger when we manage to keep in contact.

The time I spent worrying and brooding about life while lying in the dark has not helped so I began creating things using words, words and words and I have been doing this for over 20 years, I mean expressing myself to let out the emotions that otherwise would have remained tight on the chest. In the process I have created over fifty books and presentations that are posted on the web. Now 95

my fingers dance on the keyboard of this very old model desktop and laptop and ‘words’ come out along with the joy inside me as well as some silent tears. My anger flows out and happiness comes to reign all over me.

In the last few years I have created and published novels, short stories, poems and essays that became my over fifty readable publications online for readers to see, read and appreciate or review them freely. When over a few million readers have read, downloaded or commented on these I get the pleasure and forget that money received by selling them would have made me a millionaire.

After this essay that would be my last I think it is time to give my fingers, my laptop and my brain some rest.

No matter how hopeless and depressed my real life has been, my virtual life was awesome. I got to understand life, my reasons for happiness and the care I dished out to everyone in my life as well as the care I received from my loved ones. The more I understood things the better by attitude became and my anger began to disappear and I proceeded to reach divinity in my own ways. God became my saviour and I His humble disciple.

There are many strange words which do not exist in my real life dictionary. In this life, I am not a depressed bipolar soul because I am the king of my world. I walk, work, exist and live here with pride and that is my real life and nobody can snatch that away from me. This is my world, my live and living style. All the people here are my family, relatives, colleagues or friends. My beloved online 96

community is the best thing I have had because they made me happy by their comments and downloads of my publications and gave me an attitude of joy away from any form of anger. I am truly grateful for everything this virtual world has offered me.

Any amount of words would not be able to express my gratitude and love for my people and yet my feelings can. To attain total happiness and bliss is my objective in my old age. So now I thought I will leave the topic of anger and go to deal with what is real happiness for me.

When a poor little boy of a remote village, hungry for two days, wanders from street to street in search of a single morsel of food and gets to a heap of rubbish and sees a half-eaten piece of bread. The shine in his eyes that is noticed is happiness.

When a father of four children, who has lost contacts and love of his children for a decade and has been living in a solitary life, gets out of his front door one morning to meet his children. That excitement on his face is real happiness. .

When a rich businessman, after earning a truck load of money and after an international tour for a month, enters his home at night to eat a simple meal prepared by his loving wife and mother then the peace that is noticed on his face is happiness.

When a father, after waiting outside an operation theatre for hours, hears a good news of the birth of a healthy daughter or a son, that one 97

drop of gratitude in his eyes that we see is happiness.

A hug by your father when you get good results, an excited scream after winning a game of lotto with your family, chatting uninterruptedly with your siblings while sharing a meal, simple moments of rejoice that we often ignore, those moments are termed as real happiness.

So my readers will be able to realize and understand that real happiness can be triggered at any moment, any time of the day with very simple happenings. We often mistakenly associate it with big achievements in life or a state of affairs that remain forever long. We just have to fight with ourselves to let ourselves feel it in a full way. All who laugh out loud every time are not necessarily happy and all who just smile when everyone laughs, are not sad. Real happiness and sadness are the feelings that flow freely from right inside us. ‘Always’ has not been a word suitable for me because I feel and think that nothing can stay the same always nor does happiness. Many souls like me keep sitting on a pile of happiness all their life while screaming that we do not get it. It is us who can decide whether we want to be happy or not. It is like a switch that you turn on when you feel yourself worthy of it. When I was there, in my country of birth during my childhood, I was in company of my loved ones and was living a life of a free and content being and I never wanted to get out of it. Small bursts of laughter, love and living kept me happy and I wish I could return to that state of life and 98

living. I managed to capture all those feelings in my publication titled Shadows of Childhood.

I still punish myself sometimes by feeling angry but the state of my happiness around me makes me come alive with joy. By pushing myself out of all forms of anger and depression is my objective to show loyalty to my life. This attitude always makes me feel good, calm and collected. So much so that I can now even feel happiness in extreme pain. I definitely can.

When I am sitting in peaceful mood on green fresh grass in my backyard while staring constantly at the beautiful blue sky and moving white clouds and listening to soft music or reading some of my own publications often places me in total jovial position nowadays. This then is my idea of happiness these days. I have started enjoying my solitude equally as I enjoy the company of the person fate has blessed me with, my wife Ganga.

May be life cannot get any better than this. I thank God Almighty for blessing me and giving me this beautiful but short life. We love the life we live and we live the life we love.

My next aspect of life and living that I loved was my habit of continuous learning that I call lifelong learning. Lifelong Learning takes place from the cradle to the grave. Lifelong learning includes all forms of learning for behaviour change that takes place everywhere within and outside the four walls of the classroom. This includes learning under trees, within old buildings, along the road or any other place where there are human beings. This learning takes place across a lifespan; hence its 99

scope has no limits. It covers learning for life, and goes back to the origins of life and work. Lifelong encompasses both planned and unplanned learning through different modes of delivery such as professional development, formal school, continuing education, distance education, e-learning, correspondence, home schooling and other forms of formal and informal education.

That is not all, now is the best mood for me to create this last poem for the readers.

Let us make the most of what we have and spend Before we too as others have into dust we descend All we accumulate must be left behind in the end Keep smiling, singing, enjoying life till the very end.

100

23 MY LAST WORDS We have come a long way from our traditional beliefs, firm foundations and rich cultural heritage therefore, every now and then we need to wake up to the calls of good, useful and appropriate human co-existence to generate, establish, maintain and up-keep peace, prosperity and progress of our own people at home, on the streets, in our towns and villages. So the sooner we learn to conduct ourselves by avoiding some of the obvious dangers to human virtue the better we would be able to perform our day to day business of life and living.

I strongly feel that it is really harmful and dangerous if we:  Accumulate wealth without hard work;  Get pleasure without conscience;  Acquire knowledge without character;  Doing business without ethics;  Scientific research without humanity;  Follow religious traditions blindly;  Do political acts without principles;  Want rights without responsibilities; 101

                  

Are unable to express unconditional love; Work without intent and purpose; Are unable to value mission and vision; Are not able to persevere and persist; Do not strive to reach the summit; Do not value human hospitality; Do not honour and respect family life; Do not work and value teamwork; Maintain communication breakdown; Show our irresponsibility and unaccountability; Do not seek knowledge and wisdom; Are not humble, modest and open; Do not honour the dignity of others; Do not lead by example and initiative; Fail to care, serve and protect; Live without thankfulness for life; Have no truth, beauty and goodness in us; Have no sense of contentment; and Live without hope and promise.

102

CONCLUSION Within the previous 100 pages I have tried my best to express and spread some of my sincere 23,000 words to expose and express the hidden thoughts that may be able to encourage the readers to pick up their pens and put their own valuable thoughts on paper for others to read, appreciate and enjoy.

In many cases my thoughts can become support for the readers to gently guide them towards understanding their own lives a little better during times of difficulties and letting other friends and family members lead a more comfortable family life.

I have tried my best to look back into my family and work life to present these calm, collected and penetrating thoughts that reveal two aspects of my objective for writing them. First one is to understand some of the anguish and grief that bother us from time to time and the other is to get some hope, comfort and inspiration to lead a better life. I do hope that some of my thoughts would be able to lift the spirit of the readers and enlighten their soul.

In the twilight of memory and in our daily busy life and complex activities I have a feeling that we should meet some more to carry on with further discussions of these thoughts and ideas. When we do meet for that meaningful conference once again after you have read and digested the so many complex ideas presented here we should be able to compare notes, face critical 103

appreciation or remain silent to accept what has been humbly presented.

Naturally, I have begun to dislike getting older because the world I live in now has worsened in many respects.

My understanding of my exciting life is gradually fading.

Sometimes I find it difficult to connect to people I like. I am even not able to weave the stories of my experiences and worst of all I cannot apply them to my advantage any more. I regret making a lot of mistakes in my life and have learnt a few things from them but I cannot integrate those lessons any more as I used to do.

That is the onslaught of old age.

Things over the years have become more and more difficult, cumbersome, painful, lonely and disturbing as I move ahead. I find it hard to see beauty as I used to do.

However, my faith in the Supreme Being has strengthened maybe because of fear, societal and communal pressure and my own changing beliefs.

I continuously perform the act of repentance and this gives me courage to live and let others live peacefully. I am trying to live a life of a hermit and even that is not helping me. One thing that surely keeps me going is the sincere love, kindness, care and continuous, useful and empathetic communication from my family members, relatives and faithful friends. The process of getting older is difficult but I am managing reasonably well with the help of the Almighty and my people around me. I love my Lord and my people so life moves on.

Finally since I wrote a lot about love and I still believe in the power of this great human emotion, let me leave 104

some of my thoughts on various ways to love. I think that there are many ways for all individuals to love so we should learn to do the following:  Listen to our loved ones as well as others without interrupting;  Speak to every one without accusing;  Give whatever you can without sparing;  Pray for peace and stability without ceasing;  Answer intelligently without arguing;  Share your words, thoughts and ideas without pretending;  Enjoy life without complaining;  Trust yourself and your loved ones without wavering;  Forgive every one without punishing;  Promise but fulfil without forgetting;  Smile always but without faking;  Live your life by healthy living; and  Love your people without pretending.

This presentation therefore would be my last because all that I wanted to narrate I have done them as I wished and I leave the readers to read and critically appreciate these ideas.

105

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS I have many wise people to sincerely thank for giving me the courage and power to reveal all these thoughts that could otherwise have remained unsaid and unwritten. These helpful individuals include my grandparents, parents, my own family members, my teachers and my faithful friends.

As a son of an experienced and successful farmer my initial learning came from the rural environment, the creatures that surrounded us and the crops that flourished on our farm.

They had no words but their actions and conduct made me learn a lot of talents and useable characteristics of humanity.

I have great admiration for all of these silent teachers.

My wife Ganga N Prasad, who has proofread the manuscript and done the graphics and she also deserves my hearty appreciation for honouring me by being my wife.

My special thanks go to Prushottam (David) Reddy, the then President of the Students’ Council at the College we were together and my high school mentor at Natabua for writing the Prologue for this publication.

Then Shiu Charan the past President of the Fiji Teachers’ Union has been my great support because we worked together in many educational institutions of Fiji and he has been my high school and college mate as well. He is sincerely thanked for writing the Epilogue for this publication.

There are many others who deserve my appreciation but they are too many to list all of them down here. Thank you all for your continuous support and cooperation in making my life full of fun and flavor. If I ever get inspired to pick up my pen again I will just write songs and poems.

106

EPILOGUE

BY Shiu Charan, Past President of the Fiji Teachers’ Union and my high school and college mate and colleague.

Reading through the manuscript of the author Dr. Ram Lakhan Prasad, a collection of his thoughts, in his book “The Other Side”, I began to reflect and reminisce about our student days together, spending those fruitful and interesting years at Natabua Secondary School and a few valuable years at Nasinu Teachers’ Training College in Fiji. RL as we called him, conducted himself well and interacted with us as a great student and a helpful colleague.

We graduated as Primary School Teachers at the end of 1959 and were posted to teach in Labasa, Fiji from the beginning of 1960. During our close association of many years, it never occurred to me that RL would go through a big transformation and become such a prolific writer. Also he developed into a commentator of note, in various aspects of education and other issues of general interest for the consumption of the wider public.

First and foremost, RL’s intention has been to share his views on meaningful living as we grow old. He motivates the reader to make personal changes necessary, beginning with some serious contemplation and then followed by discipline and other appropriate actions.

I can recollect that from his early teaching days, RL’s inquisitive mind began exploring how the thought processes 107

brought about changes in our life. Moreover, he indicates that changes in our temperament results from experiments carried out and their results in our journey of self-discovery.

In the words of Lao Tzu, a Chinese philosopher this means, “Knowing your self is true wisdom�. Throughout this experimentation process in one’s life, the author admits that maturity takes place in stages often trying various options and finally reaching a logical answer. However, the author makes an important point that it is not necessary that all those going through this process, arrive at the same conclusion because as individuals, we all differ and so do our preferences.

There is no denying that change is a fact of life and it brings about growth in all important aspects of our mental, physical and aesthetic development. According to the author, this book is his last presentation of his thoughts and ideas, and he hopes it will appeal to all types of readers. Furthermore, he hopes the purpose of the book will be fully served, as reading it will result in positive changes, generating noble thoughts and bringing some comfort and satisfaction, in lives.

I complement Dr Ram Lakhan Prasad (RL) for his thoughtful presentation and may he receive the recognition he deserves in a form of wide readership.

Shiu Charan, Auckland, NZ.

108

Life of the Author: Ram Lakhan Prasad.

A chubby baby boy was born during the war His birth made the family jump with joy A lot of peace came home despite the war December 27th 1939 was his day of joy.

He was raised in an extended family Living on the farm gave him skills By roaming the village he acted calmly Sabeto and Natabua were his schooling mills.

When Ram Lakhan Prasad was young He wondered everywhere he could All that he approved was softly sung songs And most of what he saw and got was good.

When he was growing up he was bold By living a life that was beyond here, He made the truth and beauty unfold To the people who had gathered there.

He liked all that he had loved and seen He practiced what he preached everyday He promised to make his life all clean He would persevere and won’t go astray.

Almighty God at his side would surely be With good scriptures he will stand tall There should never any blasphemy be

109

His home was to be blessed as prayer mall.

In his heart flicks the brightest light His services and giving are all fair He loves his internal might that is right Glory of God provides him the glare.

The Lord would then answer his prayers His mind is peaceful without any shame He seems to know the faces of players He knows them all by their name.

Lord Ram would befriend him then Because his name is Ram too He knows him as the best of men That ever lived with the good crew.

Teaching was his forte and mission Family life made him love all he had To serve his people was his vision Creative writing skill he also had.

He loved his family more than his life His children were his mighty treasure There’s nothing odd we saw in his life He lived and let others live with measure.

All those who knew him well His soul was free of all the sin He holds the key to heaven as well He will welcome those without sin.

This is the last and solemn jest Of that weary man who wants to hide He speaks his mind with words as best Having spoken his words he will ride.

Then he will spread his weary wings Then tread towards the sky for sure He will have no doubtful things To tell anyone who acted as pure.

When he is gone he should not be forgotten His life was full of fun and he lived well When he is gone he hopes it is not forgotten

110

His sins were none his books to be read well.

Many such men have come and have gone Many would come and would go still There would be none like this special one This is the song he would sing with skill.

His true pillars of learning were old people Grandparents and parents were good as gold His early family life was one of its kind, No one should turn an eye to him that is blind.

We should not only live and love our life; it should be celebrated and rejoiced as many of us do with pride.

Labasa Living during 1960 to 1963

111

112

About The Author

Dr Ram Lakhan Prasad was born and bred in the Fijian environment and educated in various institutions of the world to complete his various qualifications and while on his teaching assignments in different countries he kept his creative skills alive by writing novels, short stories, essays and poems.

Dr Prasad also worked as a consultant in Educational and Human Resource sectors of various countries. In Fiji he worked as a teacher, curriculum innovator and Senior Education Officer. In Australia he worked as a Senior Lecturer with Education Queensland.

He is now retired and enjoying his quiet life in Brisbane Australia and serves the community of Moggill as the Justice of the Peace and Commissioner of Declaration.

He is married to Ganga and they enjoy their old age and their retirement life as best as their life and living allows them.

113

114