Volume 3, Issue 4
Page 4
Ramdiculous Page
PSA - Breaking Wind Have you ever been on top of a mountain, just looking down at the world below? If you have, consider yourself lucky. Most people have not, either that or while they were up there, they were blown off by a gust of wind. Now, while this is not a very common occurrence, it does happen nonetheless. Wind is a powerful force to be reckoned with and most people do not think of it as a danger. I am here to tell you that it is indeed, very dangerous. So much so in fact, that the National Weather Service has deemed it to be quite possibly the most dangerous natural phenomenon in the world, aside from my devilishly good looks. Wind acts in mysterious fashions and you never quite know where it will strike next. You could be under attack right now as you are reading this -- wind is a very jealous entity and hates people knowing anything about it. Be careful not to let the wind see you reading this right now, it might pick you up
By: Enrique Poblano
and throw you in front of a van. There is one thing though, that wind cannot stand nor combat and that is the mighty force of breaking it. If you break wind while it is in mid-attack, then the wind will simply disappear, as will most people around you. For it is well documented that breaking wind will eventually catch up to you and the retribution and wrath you will feel will be swift. If you do happen to break wind though, count yourself lucky that for at least a few minutes, you will not be under attack and can find a suitable safe haven in a structure of some kind. It is highly recommended to be near a car when you break wind so that you can make a swift exit and avoid being pinpointed for a retaliation strike. So remember, avoid mountains and try to break wind, if you indeed must break it, near a car so that you can outrun the wind's attempt to thwart you again.
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