BNU, XOXO served scalding hot.
Weebs in love? Quite likely page 2
Does BNU hate women? page 4
Another Jazaster waiting to happen?
TUESDAY 15 MARCH 2021 ISSUE #1
The best and worst looks of the week page 3
anyone can tell really. Will the latest addition to J’s Hall of trophies finally be end game or is it another disaster waiting to happen? I guess we will just have to wait and find out.
This ones got her eyes set on a new beau and we have our eyes set on her. unfortunately, the collection is extensive this
The newest semester is upon us, and if the
season, u can find one in every color, size and pitch. We all have varied tastes after all. But it seems to us that J has already made her decisions about who she is warming up to this semester, or at least we hope, the entire semester. So, pack it up boys, this one is off the market, or is she? We don’t mean to judge or discriminate but the past speaks for herself. Because as rumor would have it, when she’s not pretending to put pins on a mannequin, she’s being the mannequin herself. Questionable choices aren’t alien to these ladies however, as we have seen multiple times in J’s posse but we shall name no more names. Nevertheless since everyone is dying to know the tea, just who is this mystery man who has won her over and potentially ended an era of recreational promiscuity. Doubt
Fashion Fails
make sure to make your head turn, much like his recent Pakistan Pavilion. I guess one does become what one creates, eventually. But perhaps its time for the great RR to
past semesters are any indication, it’s bound to be full of new art, new tears and new romances. Tote bags aren’t the only accessory that are *in* this season, some of these boys might be coming to take that title real soon. Just ask your favorite fashion majors. We have seen many divas ravage themselves over rugged, chiseled pieces of meat, sometimes, a fresh piece every week. Such is the case for one of SVAD’s most beloved. This particular diva is no stranger to a hot accessory, we’ve seen her rocking the most immaculate pieces, bracelets and boyfriends alike. J clearly has an eye for the good stuff. But where does this thirst for the perfect attachment end? Fortunately for her, or should I say
Dean in Distress Our widely adored Dean has enjoyed immense success recently in the art world, not so much in the closet however. Some of these recent looks that he has *attempted* to pull off recently have been no less controversial than some of his iconic artworks. Some even claim to have seen him shopping at Balmain’s reject pile. However, we have to give credit where credit is due, these looks sure are bright and theatrical and they
go shopping on a budget because these distressed pants probably cost a leg and a half and they don’t really do much to defend his case in front of the fashion police.
BNU, XOXO
Page 2 ISSUE #1
served scalding hot.
Weebs Vs Unrequited Love This battle might finally be over. There are two kinds of people in this world; the ones who make the sacrifice and the ones that are the sacrifice. After last week’s latest couple reveal put all of us in a chokehold of shock and horror. “But he’s a weeb” was a phrase very commonly heard and it was not in any pleasant tones. But do not be fooled even these hentai consuming brutes are evolving, oh and they are evolving hard and they are evolving fast. In fact, some of them are even investing in a new jacket or two, much to our shock. Truthfully, one of last years
Stormy Weather
Some dark clouds are up on the horizon for these foundation year students and they are caving in fast.
cutest couple was a perfect example of such a peculiar twosome. This time around, this predicament continues to plague us even more. Our sources have confirmed not one but two cases of a weeb in love (re; requited love). Now we don’t believe in name dropping but the details of such are for you to find out, that is if you have the stomach for it. Nevertheless, we are in no position to judge of course since love is blind but we have a list of shampoos and conditioners that these lads might be interested in checking out perhaps? Sourc-
es tell us Selsun Blue works wonders for the itchy and the flaky alike, talking about hair of course. Spotted from the Animation studio to the SB Building, now that is a perfect example of someone making a dire sacrifice because one can only imagine what perversions these animation bros get into. All the power to you ladies, whatever makes you happy. We are all praying in your favor and hoping that certain showers get longer and more often. But one thing is for certain, these boys will be consuming more than just manga tonight
The freshmen this time around are definitely living up to their namesake, fresh faces, fresh talent and fresh drama. While the talent of these fetuses is unmatched and their drive is crazy (or maybe its just another nagging teacher on their heads as we’ve all had our share of Mahbub Jokhios). Its always refreshing to see large groups of people sitting around the courtyard terrorizing everyone else with their singing talents or the lack thereof but what’s even more refreshing is the fast forward into the future when these so-called BFFs break apart like a dainty newsprint over petty things. Sweet, sweet drama. Woefully, for some of these that fast forward doesn’t seem that far. The people in the bus talk, and they talk a lot, and a lot of scalding hot tea has landed on
our ever-eavesdropping ears. A storm is brewing little ones and its about to be a rampage. The kids in 3D construction better watch their backs for there is an imposter among you.
BNU, XOXO
Page 3 ISSUE #1
served scalding hot.
SPOTTED:
Controversial
Taking a trip to Quotes Lebanon, ladies? A and A have been feeling awfully cozy with each other lately but we hope they havent left any curly loose ends to deal with.
While the campus is fixated on the influx
of hot bods that are coming through this semester, two of our resident beauties are choosing to perhaps swing the other way. Yes, many of us have been disappointed by the male gender but something about this feels a little extreme to us. However, we are all for inclusivity and acceptance this year and if the girls just want to have fun, then fun they shall have. While there is not much concrete proof to support these theories, the pictures and some overheard conversations do provide us with enough to fill our porcelain teacups. Our sources tell us that one of the two was heard gushing, “Her energy makes me feel better than anyone else”. The ladies have also been repeated-
“Her energy makes me feel better than anyone else” ly spotted together appearing ‘closer than ever’. Now we don’t know for sure if energy is codeword for fingers but we are aching to find out. While we are intrigued by these discoveries, we do wish them the best of luck in their public and private endeavors because dealing with men can take a toll and every woman deserves a recreational trip to L town, if you all know what we mean.
The devil works hard but we work harder to get you the most piping hot gossip from around campus. Beware, we have ears everywhere and this is what theyve been hearing.
“Rabbiya and Moeed are cute as hell” “I want to marry Fibha Ali so bad” “Raja Talha ends up getting into everyones pants” “There is no reason for animation boys to be smelling like this, pull the plug!” “Kirmani intends to steal Raheel’s comic shirt” “I hate everyone. LITERELLY EVERYONE” “Fajr Faisal has a list of everyone she hates” “Sawliha thinks shes Haleema’s final wife but is she?” “Aisha needs to stop asking her friends to do her work” “Third year curly boy is so adorable” “Someone needs to call the police on the hunter group hanging around SLASS” “I think Tatheer Raza is secretly asexual”
Did you serve?
Fashion rundown of the week; Who served and who didnt? Some of the best looks from the past few weeks, we are seeing glitz and glamour to effortless flowy silhuettes. Summer is upon us so its no shock that the girls and the guys are stepping out in lighter colors and fabrics. Before the menace of bermuda shorts and tank tops wrecks all our aesthetic dreams, lets take a moment to appreciate some spring fashion while it lasts.
However there are always a few that donot get the memo, always doing too much or too little. And i think we should all agree to burn the GAP hoodie.
BNU, XOXO
Page 4 ISSUE #1
served scalding hot.
Does BNU hate Central women? ShoutOut
We bring to you the Is BNU’s liberism only hottest BNU instagrams for show? that u need to get into While tea is forever, we must also use our FASHION
@marutandoorz @jaza.sufian @gulalala.hk @theapig
platforms to shine light on some questionable activities that go on among the administration of our beloved liberal arts university. As we all know, the aurat march took place in recent weeks, a cause many of the BNU
ART
@bias_sketchbook @raheelioye @thesketchy_dude @azeenist @air.aaj @magicvomits @aneezah_tauseef PHOTOGRAPHY
@hafsawanders @ifibhaa @daffydadamsel @haleemas_lens
DISCLAIMER
alumni were part of. As huge supporters of the cause, students took to the campus to spread awareness of the event itself only to be met with complete disregard as well as disrespect. Eyewitness reports of admin tearing down posters were given all over campus. Despite this, our feminist society persisted and continued the fight, reapplying posters where they had been torn down. BNU shows it’s true colors when it comes to the actually fighting for women, and they are not pretty. Support for the feminist society dwindled in recent months, making it seem as if BNU may really not be the feminist university it claimed to be? Does the administrative body only care about the numeric gap between two people of the opposite sex sitting on one of our measly benches? We are sure there are better causes to be spending the funds on. Because we dont know about you all but if we have to see one more black waist coat wearing creature we will quite frankly gauge our eyes out right in front of Sartaj Aziz, call it Performance Art if u must. It is imperative that some action be taken against such bigotry and supporters of such bigotry to make the campus safe, and inclusive for all, except however for those who believe in athleisure as high fashion, that my dears is a line we cannot possibly cross.
This tabloid is for entertainment purpose only. Any similiarities to real life people or events is purely coincidental. So lets not get our knickers in a twist.