I headed to the bathroom to do as I was told. Unrolling a handful of toilet paper, I used some to blow my nose and tore off the remainder to wipe the tear-stains from my face. As I turned towards the trash can, intending to take a deep breath and assure my mother that I‘d simply remembered something sad from a movie; I caught sight of myself in the bathroom mirror and saw that the toilet paper had left tiny white flecks all over my face. Balancing on my tip toes, I leaned over the counter and began to quickly brush off the offending fuzz. Peering intently into the mirror with my fingers held up to my cheek, I looked at myself. Covered in toilet paper dust with swollen red eyes, I looked terrible. I smiled and gently giggled at the thought of my mother‘s understandable bewilderment at seeing her only daughter in such a state so late in the night and with no explanation. But as I continued to stare into the mirror, the laughter caught in my throat and my smile began to fade. I had been attempting to dislodge the dust by gently rubbing at my face, but now I began to slowly scratch, raking dull fingernails across my skin as though possessed. The girl in the mirror couldn‘t have been more different from Shontice if she‘d tried. I really am too dark, I thought again as the tears that had been welling in my eyes broke free and darted unbidden down my face. ―Olayemi?‖ My mother‘s voice broke my reverie, I quickly wiped the tears away with the back of my hand and rushed out of the bathroom. ―Sorry, I had to pee,‖ I lied. ―You‘re still crying?‖ My mother asked with mounting concern. ―Come here and tell me what‘s wrong.‖ I took a deep uneven breath and joined her on the couch, but said nothing. ―Oya,‖ my mother prodded, shaking me gently by the shoulder. I buried my face in her arm. ―Anna is smarter than me, Shontice is prettier than me, and I‘m too dark.‖ The confession came tumbling out of my mouth in a barely comprehensible jumble.
Understanding enough to be sure her child was neither ill nor gravely injured, my mother relaxed. ―You‘re crying because you think Anna is smarter than you?‖ I nodded gravely with my face still pressed against her arm, smearing her with new tears and the remainder of my runny nose. She gently shook herself free and looked down at me.