Radiant No.15, The Motherhood Issue by Radiant Health Magazine

RADIANT Health & Culture

№ 15

THE MOTHERHOOD ISSUE Love Unconditional

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Radiant Health Magazine is published by Radiant Rose Media, LLC. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying or other electronic or mechanical methods, without prior written permission of the editor, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to the editor at EDITOR@RADIANTHEALTHMAG.COM

Opinions expressed in Radiant Health Magazine are the opinions of the writers and do not necessarily reflect the opinion of the publisher. Radiant Health Magazine is published biannually.

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The Journey.

“There is a secret in our culture, and it’s not that birth is painful. It’s that women are strong.” laura stavoe harm

ARTICLE NAME ARTICLE NAME

2020—volume 1

photography by Ahmad Barber model Felicia of Select Models Atlanta styling by Ray C'Mone make-up by Christine Dompier-Vazquez hair by Andy Buckmire open back cutout draped jersey maxi dress by Proenza Schouler

MASTHEAD

Nnenna Kalu Makanjuola, PharmD MPH FOUNDER, EDITOR-IN-CHIEF & PUBLISHER

Ahmad Barber ART DIRECTOR

Bianca Kipp DESIGN

Nikki Igbo FEATURES EDITOR

LeeAnn Nielsen COPY EDITOR

Ray C'Mone FASHION EDITOR

Chinyere Amobi DIGITAL EDITOR

Queendolly “Queenie” Verhoeven OPERATIONS MANAGER

Ken Nuarin WEB DESIGN & SUPPORT

Christine Dompier-Vazquez EDITORIAL MAKEUP ARTIST

Andy Buckmire EDITORIAL HAIR STYLIST

Chinyere Amobi, Yvonne Ator, MD, MPH, Clarissa Bannor, Patrick Dale, Zora DeGrandpre, MS, ND, Gabriela Iancu, Ijeoma Kola, Katie Schenk, Oreoluwa Ogunyemi, MD, Emily Rubin CONTRIBUTING WRITERS

Akinloye Julius Makanjuola, MD EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR

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RADIANT HEALTH № 15 The Motherhood Issue

CONTENTS

26– 51

healthy eating

52– 77

fitness

ENDOCRINE DISRUPTORS

INTERVIEW KIANO MOJU

LOCAL CHAMP AFRICAN YAM

RECIPES BACK TO OUR ROOTS

LISS: OLD-SCHOOL WORKOUT 54 FITNESS AS A MOTHERHOOD MUST 60 MOM-FRIENDLY WORKOUTS FROM CRADLE TO EMPTY NEST 64 INTERVIEW ANOWA ADJAH 72

78 – 99

100– 117

features

health & wellness

ON PARENTING BLACK BOYS

PREGNANT WHILE BLACK

ON PARENTING BLACK GIRLS

AGAINST THE ODDS:

THIS IS MY ABORTION STORY

A MOTHER'S JOURNEY

108

ABORTION: MYTHS VS FACTS

ON FIBROIDS & BLACK WOMEN

112

118 – 137

style

138– 149

beauty

A GUIDE TO MOM STYLE

120

INTERVIEW AISHA AYENSU

128

150– 161

102

culture

A NEW STANDARD OF BLACK BEAUTY 140 INTERVIEW TOKS FAHM AJAYI

162– 177

144

body & mind ON MOTHERHOOD AND LOSS

INTERVIEW PHILLIPPA YAA DE VILLIERS

152

CULTURE ON THE GO

158

164

RADIANT WOMAN WATCH ALYSIA MONTAÑO

2020—volume 1

172

EDITOR'S NOTE

Beginnings In my early years of pharmacy practice, while working in the labor and delivery unit, it struck me that every woman presenting to our hospital for delivery, regardless of her pregnancy risk factors, was prescribed at minimum a three- to four-page list of medications. And while not every patient would end up needing all of the medications on their list, a good portion was often used by the time they were discharged. The fact that this was standard practice made me wonder: What if I don’t want this type of intensely medicated birth? This was 13 years ago, before water birth and home birth had become widespread. Naturally I consulted Dr. Google for answers, and he delivered to me a whole new world of unmedicated birth options which I ate up like a hungry lion. As it turned out, I was also in the early weeks of pregnancy with our first child. Armed with half-baked information and the wild enthusiasm of a rookie mom-to-be, I found an obstetrician who agreed to a non-medicated birth plan with minimal medical intervention unless absolutely necessary … until she didn’t. About seven weeks before my due date, when I asked to solidify the birth plan in writing so that all of the providers involved in my delivery care would be on the same page, my obstetrician suddenly became uncertain and shaky about our agreement. I lost confidence in her and sought an alternative. Thankfully, a midwife I had initially considered agreed to take me on, and I went on to have an uncomplicated and beautiful delivery in a house, located in a quiet neighborhood, that had been converted into a birthing home. Three years later, when I became pregnant with my second child, I immediately went with a midwife. My second child was born at home in my bedroom.

RADIANT HEALTH № 15 The Motherhood Issue

When I chose a non-traditional birthing option, I wasn’t yet aware of the disparity in birth outcomes for Black women, or of the bias in medical care for Black people in general (Pregnant While Black—A Risky Proposition, page 102). Nor did I fully appreciate the support from my village, most notably from my mom, which I had simply expected and in some ways taken for granted. As is the custom in our part of Nigeria, my mother put her life in Texas on hold and, leaving my dad to temporarily fend for himself, moved in with me for the last two weeks of my pregnancy plus six more weeks postpartum. In the weeks after the birth of my son, Mom cared for me fully, cooking the daily traditional postpartum meals with medicinal herbs purported to help with postpartum healing and recovery, and caring for the baby in every way from bathing him to keeping him at night, only bringing him to me to breastfeed. All so I could rest and recover. Fearing judgment, however, I’ve rarely talked about my home births or the level of support I received. As the disparity in outcomes for Black women have come into the limelight, thanks in part to birth stories shared by Beyoncé and Serena Williams, more and more Black women are sharing and opening up about their own journeys (Against The Odds: A Mother’s Journey, page 108 ; This is My Abortion Story, page 92), prompting me to open up more about my own. Endings One night some years later, my parents were due to fly back to Texas after visiting with us for a few weeks and we decided to take them out for dinner. We were all piling into the car when I felt a strong urge to push. I knew. I excused myself from the car and ran upstairs to the bathroom. It wasn’t long before it came out. I heard the thump as it fell into the toilet. When I looked into the bowl, the water was a

“...MOTHERHOOD IS A PERPLEXING CONTRADICTION—DIFFICULT AND COMPLICATED BUT ALSO SWEET AND BEAUTIFUL...”

sea of red. I debated pulling it out to have a look at it. But of what use would that be? I said a prayer and flushed. Then I got back in the car and went to dinner without saying a word. Two weeks earlier, a silent sonogram and an eerily quiet technician had revealed that the baby I was carrying was no more. I had declined the D&C, and on that fateful night it had made its exit. I have rarely spoken to a woman about my miscarriage who didn’t say, “Me too” (How to Grieve When the Unthinkable Happens, page 164). Who knew miscarriages were so common? And the Biggest Hurdle Yet I was almost 18 years old when my family moved from Nigeria to America. My youngest brother was only 6. One day I was driving him home from school and he said, “Nnenna?” “Hmm,” I answered, looking in the rearview mirror to make eye contact. “Am I Black?” he asked. My heart sank. I knew then that something must have happened at school that day. I was afraid to ask what, and I didn’t know what to say to him. How was I to tell him that I’d only just found out at age 18 that I was Black and didn’t quite understand what that meant? I’ve worried about the day that my 8- and 12-year-old sons will find out that they are Black. In this age of #JusticeforAhmaudArbery, #JusticeforGeorgeFloyd, and #JusticeforBreonnaTaylor, I fear I’m delusional to think that day hasn’t already come and gone. Raising Black sons in America is proving to be my toughest parenting challenge yet. My husband and I

have no reference for it, having both grown up in Nigeria where Blackness is the norm. By the time I encountered racism in America, my knowledge and conviction about who I am was distinct from any racist views about who I’m supposed to be. It would be like a stranger telling me that my name is Sheila when I know with 1000% certainty that it is not. In that sense, navigating my way through America’s racism has been more bearable for me compared to my Black peers born and raised in the U.S. But now that I’m raising Black sons in a society that’s bent on letting them know from inception, and by any means necessary, that they are less-than, I find myself uncertain and helpless about how to spare them or ease them through this agony of being Black in America. In this I cannot look to my parents or to my own upbringing for answers. This is a path that we have to forge on our own, searching for and embracing the creative solutions and discussions that people who look like us are creating (On Parenting Black Boys, page 80, and On Parenting Black Girls, page 86). In short, like a bittersweet chocolate pie, motherhood is a perplexing contradiction—difficult and complicated but also sweet and beautiful—the breadth and depth of which can never be fully captured, expressed, or contained in one magazine issue. But that didn’t stop us from trying. I hope you enjoy our slice of motherhood. To your health,

FOUNDER & EDITOR-IN-CHIEF @ NNE NNAKALU M

2020—volume 1

NEWS & VIEWS

stay in the know illustrations by Bianca Kipp

1. HOW OFTEN DO YOU FORGET TO TAKE THE PILL?

THREE HOURS.

That’s the daily window for taking your birth control pill. It seems long enough, but it’s still tricky to get right every time. And why must you take it daily anyway? The answer has nothing to do with your uterus; it’s actually all about your stomach. This organ is decidedly brilliant at breaking down just about anything you feed it, and as soon as you give your stomach something to digest, it’s going to do just that. Once those birth control hormones are absorbed, that’s that. But all this might be changing. While looking for a more convenient way to provide critical medicines for treating malaria and HIV, scientists from Brigham and Women’s Hospital and MIT may have stumbled on a tablet your stomach can’t digest in a matter of hours. Rather than a standard capsule, their new design could see medicine or hormones wrapped in a human-safe silicone star that unfolds in the user’s stomach, preventing it from slipping into the intestines while providing a full month of coverage. Over time, the device slowly breaks down and the arms of the star detach. While the once-a-month pill has had some success in the lab, it hasn’t yet undergone human trials, so don’t expect to pick it up at the pharmacy anytime soon. But we’d still bet it will hit the market well before the male contraceptive pill does.

RADIANT HEALTH № 15 The Motherhood Issue

3. SEXUAL ABUSE RAMPANT AT AFRICAN UNIVERSITIES UNIVERSITY STUDENTS ARE looking for ways to broaden their horizons, dive deep into their fields of interest, and prove their worth. What they are not looking for is sexual abuse by professors.

But that’s what they’ve come to expect. It’s common knowledge, but until a recent BBC documentary threw the problem into the limelight, students had felt powerless to do anything about it.

2. FORCED STERILIZATION OF HIV+ WOMEN IN SOUTH AFRICA CAN YOU IMAGINE BEING FORCED to give up your

right to have children? How would you react to the news that no one will help deliver your baby, who is imminently entering the world, unless you agree to be sterilized immediately after?

It may sound like the plot of a new Netflix horror series, but it really happens. At least 48 South African HIV+ women have experienced forced sterilization, either through coercion or misinformation. And those are just the women named in a report by the country’s Commission for Gender Equality. It’s believed that many more are either unaware of their condition or fear further stigmatization within their communities.

The BBC reporters uncovered endemic abuse by professors and administrators across West Africa, at institutions including the University of Lagos and the University of Ghana. An undercover team of investigative journalists discovered that in many cases, it’s not even a matter of trading sex for good grades. Men in positions of authority are coercing vulnerable young women in a variety of ways, such as threatening their ability to gain entrance or keep their placements. While these learning institutions have policies preventing even consensual interactions, our young women remain woefully unprotected while trying to better themselves, their families, and their communities. And far too many believe that reporting incidents will invite even more trouble. It’s time to end the abuse. Take a moment to watch the BBC documentary to learn what we’re fighting against. You can view it at radianthealthmag.com/sexforgrades

In at least one instance, delivery room nurses taunted expectant mothers, telling them that it was annoying to deliver babies to HIV+ women. In other cases, mothers were told that they would die if they didn’t have surgery to prevent future pregnancies. While the health ministry, hospitals, and medical staff work out a redress package to compensate the women brave enough to speak out, it’s critical to remember that most governments have a variety of laws in place to prevent atrocities of this sort. We have rights. Fertility is one of them.

2020—volume 1

NEWS & VIEWS

5, AMERICA RECKONS WITH SYSTEMIC RACISM

Perhaps 2020 was meant to be a year of clarity. Against the backdrop of a global pandemic and a nationwide lockdown, the recent murders of multiple unarmed Black men and women in the U.S. has turned a spotlight on the country’s long struggle with the legacy of white supremacy. Without the usual distractions of pre-pandemic life, the entire world watched videos of the deaths: Ahmaud Arbery, hunted down and shot while jogging. George Floyd, asphyxiated for nearly nine minutes. Breonna Taylor, shot while sleeping during a no-knock warrant at the wrong address (and for whom justice is still lacking; her killers have yet to be arrested).

4. WHAT COVID-19 SHOULD TEACH US ABOUT GLOBAL HEALTH REMEMBER EBOLA? The initial global response was

lackluster at best. (It’s happening over there.) As long as it was contained, it was fine; when it started to move, the world got involved. The same can be said for the new coronavirus. Just how large a role an inefficient public health response played in the spread of the COVID-19 virus is still unknown, but what’s clear is that in early 2020 the world went on high alert, even if many governments did not. The United States was slow to test possible cases. Italy, still reeling from recent financial problems, hesitated to close borders. And tourists across the globe didn’t feel any pressure to cancel planned vacations that they might never have the chance to take again. Surgical masks sold faster than they could be produced and social media tried to teach us the right way to wash our hands. More than anything, the COVID-19 pandemic has revealed that most people and governments fall under the spell of “It won’t happen to us”—until it does. Even then, we gamble on the odds until it’s too late. We humans are persistently selfish in our understanding of public health and our role in it. While we wait for COVID-19 to officially become yesterday’s news, it’s wise to remain proactive in the fight against the virus. It’s everyone’s responsibility to inform themselves and others. For reliable updates on COVID-19 and future outbreaks, bookmark cdc.gov. And of course, wash your hands!

As the coronavirus further highlights racial disparities in healthcare, education, and economics, Black Lives Matter has become a universal movement sparking protests and civil unrest throughout all 50 American states and several countries around the world. And while the movement has led to everything from the toppling of racist monuments and the installation of BLM murals to corporate rebranding activities and efforts to reimagine modern policing, it still remains to be seen whether true equality in every facet of American life will finally be realized.

7. RESPECT KENYAN RUNNERS? MEET THEIR NEW SHOES! IF YOU’RE AT ALL INTERESTED in long-distance

running, you know that Kenyans are the ones to beat. A few years ago, a group of researchers tried to figure out why. But what no one spent time wondering is why Kenyan runners didn’t have Kenyan running shoes. Now Enda, the country’s first athletic shoe company, is answering that question—because why wouldn’t you support local talent with local gear?

6. YES, APARTHEID WAS A CRIME AGAINST HUMANITY THE ONLY STREET IN the world that can claim two

Nobel Peace Prize winners is Vilakazi Street in South Africa. It lies in Soweto, the township created outside of Johannesburg to keep Blacks and whites separate during apartheid, which is how Archbishop Desmond Tutu and the late President Nelson Mandela found themselves living there.

For 50 years, apartheid policies denied rights to Africans living within South African territories. From its policies of forced resettlement in the early 1950s, the formation of areas like Soweto, and denying essential public services and voting rights, apartheid was designed to alienate and dehumanize people of color.

Of course, it’s not that simple. Even Nike has its shoes made in Asia, so no one thought a Kenyan company could compete. Still, despite years of disappointing attempts to secure venture capital, Enda was prepared to go the distance. With the help of African investors, Enda finally raised enough funds to get it off the ground and is now looking to scale. Each stylish Enda shoe model is built for a different type of training. And yes, they ship to the US: endasportswear.com. But whether they’ll give you the endurance and speed Kenyan runners are known for will depend on how much you train.

South Africa’s last white-minority rule president, F. W. de Klerk, was instrumental in the dismantling of the apartheid system. From the release of Nelson Mandela to granting universal suffrage, he was so involved that he shared the 1993 Nobel Peace Prize with Mandela. That’s why South Africans were demonstrably horrified to hear de Klerk proclaim publicly that apartheid was “never a crime against humanity” in early February 2020. De Klerk has said he believed it to be a crime, but not one severe enough or with a death count high enough to warrant the harsh designation, though the United Nations itself declared apartheid a crime against humanity in 1966. Despite his public apologies, South Africans from all walks of life hit back, attempting to force the Nobel Committee to rescind de Klerk’s share of the 1993 Peace Prize. The organization stands by its decision never to revoke an award, though the incident has reopened wounds in South African race relations. But the question of whether apartheid was a crime against humanity is clearly settled: it definitely was.

2020—volume 1

NEWS & VIEWS

Plant Parenting words by Zora DeGrandpre, MS, ND

Whether you already have a green thumb or want to develop one, you can get so much out of plant parenting! Indoor and outdoor plants provide beauty, peaceful and meditative physical activity, healthier air—even food, if you’re growing fruits and vegetables. Anyone can be a plant parent if they want; all it requires is some organization and staying attuned to the needs of your plant babies ... and your plant tweens, teens, and every other age group (thankfully plants skip the toddler phase, except perhaps when the cat knocks them over). So why have indoor plants? 1.

Indoor plants can help keep your air clean by absorbing gases such as carbon dioxide and toxins from things like cleaning products.

Plants can absorb carbon monoxide and quickly convert it into carbon dioxide, which they then use to generate oxygen.

Indoor plants can help add oxygen to the air in your home and increase the level of humidity, because as plants produce oxygen, they also generate water vapor (which helps keep your skin hydrated). Having plants can boost your mood and help you focus. This innate effect may stem from us having lived outdoors for so much of human evolutionary history—spending more time indoors than out is a relatively recent development.

Just as certain types of evergreen trees can be used in landscaping as a sound barrier between properties, house plants can help muffle indoor noise.

Being around plants can help reduce stress and fatigue, both of which suppress the immune system (it’s no coincidence that we tend to get sick more often during times of stress or when we aren’t getting enough rest). When we are taking care of plants, or even just looking at them, the body tends to relax and feel more rested. This lowers stress, which in turn reduces the negative effects on the immune system.

Plant Care 101: Sunlight and Moisture Keep the soil in the pot moist—not too wet and not too dry. One way to determine whether a plant’s soil is moist enough is to push your finger into the soil up to your first knuckle. If it comes out with just a few bits of soil on it and feels damp, you are good. If it comes out dry—or if you can’t even jam your finger into the soil because it is rock hard—water that plant! You can also invest in tools such as a moisture meter or soil probe, but the pokey finger test works fine in most cases. Make sure your plant has enough light. Sunlight is best, but grow lights work very well too. For natural sunlight, south-facing windows are often best, followed by eastfacing windows. (The sun rises in the east and sets in the west, so when you see the sunrise through an east-facing window, west is behind you, north is to your left, and south is to your right.) If you don’t have a south-facing window, don’t despair— east-facing windows also often provide enough light for plants that don’t require a lot of direct sunlight. In addition, most plants that need indirect light do well in north- or west-facing windows, depending on the amount of light they get. If you have a window that gets direct light but your plant requires indirect light, consider putting up light-filtering curtains (sheers work nicely to diffuse the light). A Note on Plants and Pets While it would be nice if all living organisms could live together in peace and harmony under one roof, reality is never that simple! Before bringing a new plant into your home, it’s always a good idea to first check whether it is safe for your animals, as certain plants are poisonous to our four-legged friends. Plants that are toxic to dogs include aloe vera, lilies, jade trees, dieffenbachia, and ivy. Plants that are toxic to cats include aloe vera, lilies, asparagus ferns, begonias, and catnip. A more comprehensive list can be found at aspca.org.

Having plants in your home or office can both beautify your surroundings and brighten your mood. And as an extra advantage, they are easy to care for and they never talk back!

RADIANT HEALTH № 15 The Motherhood Issue

PLANT PARENTING

6 Hassle-Free Indoor Plants

For the earth mother in us all

Peace Lilies love indirect sunlight and slightly moist soil. These beauties are especially fit for plant beginners, easily showing signs of what they need. Drooping leaves? Just give them a thorough watering and they will perk right up. Brown tips? Try distilled water (which we suggest for all your indoor plant babies). This resilient plant will add a touch of elegance to your home.

Chinese evergreens are best for those overwatering plant moms, as they deal well with soggy soil (but can still get fungal diseases if they stay too wet for too long). These high-foliage plants prefer medium- to low-light areas.

Air plants don’t even need soil—just soak them in water every week to 10 days and set them on a dish to grow.

Aloe plants grow best with a weekly soaking and indirect light. Once the plant is large enough, you can use it to help treat minor burns and wounds. Simply break off a piece and apply the gel contained within the leaf to the affected area.

Spider plants are a favorite of many because they produce baby spider plants all the time. These plants do well with a thorough watering once a week and prefer well-lit areas such as a south- or east-facing window.

African violets are among the most popular plants around, with richly colored flowers that bloom several times a year. They do best with indirect light and moist soil, and love to be fed occasionally. The better they are fed, the more they bloom!

2020—volume 1

NEWS & VIEWS

A Clear-Eyed Look at Giving Birth after 35 words by Zora DeGrandpre, MS, ND

TICK-TOCK, TICK-TOCK...Women are constantly

reminded of their biological clocks. Over and over again, as if biology flipped like the pages of a calendar! Is giving birth after 35 (or after 40 or 45) really so difficult? And what’s with that term AMA, or “advanced maternal age”? It’s All about Timing

There is so much about getting pregnant that is about timing, after all, and so many timerelated questions. What is my most fertile time of the month? When is the right time? Is there a wrong time? Will I have the time to parent? Has my time passed? It is true that the older a woman gets, the chances of her getting pregnant decrease. But this doesn’t necessarily mean that you can’t get pregnant—it may just take a bit longer than when you were younger. What Does AMA Really Mean? Is 35 years old really an “advanced age”? The answer is no—it is just a convenient cutoff point after which it begins to get harder to get pregnant, with some added risks. Of course, pregnant women of all ages should make certain they get early and regular prenatal care, take prenatal vitamins to ensure that their developing baby has all the necessary nutrients, and look into the possibility of prenatal testing. But if you are healthy at the age of 34 years and 364 days, the odds are good that you can have a strong, healthy pregnancy and a strong, healthy baby.

So then why does the medical profession suggest that getting pregnant after 35 puts you in the AMA category? There are a few basic reasons. • You are born with a set number of eggs. As the years and monthly cycles progress, there are simply fewer eggs, and these remaining eggs tend to be a bit harder for sperm to fertilize.

• The risk of certain chromosomal abnormalities such as trisomy or Down syndrome increases with age, but it is also important to remember that an increased risk simply represents a statistical possibility. It is just another factor to be weighed, and should be considered in terms of potential risk versus potential benefits.

• With age comes an increased likelihood of multiple births. This may be related to hormonal changes that may be starting to occur or due to certain fertility treatments.

• The older you are, the greater your chances of developing high blood pressure or gestational diabetes. Both of these conditions can be treated, though treatment often requires real dedication to dietary control and more frequent doctor visits.

• Older moms tend to have a higher likelihood of delivering prematurely or having babies with low birth weight, as well as an increased chance of complications that may lead to miscarriage or require a C-section.

RADIANT HEALTH № 15 The Motherhood Issue

A CLEAR-EYED LOOK AT GIVING BIRTH AFTER 35

“...research has shown that older moms tend to have a lower risk of both early death and senility, and often raise more emotionally, physically, and mentally stable children.” On the other hand, research has shown that older moms tend to have a lower risk of both early death and senility, and often raise more emotionally, physically, and mentally stable children. Genetic Screening and Other Tests Talk to your doctor about any questions that you have, including whether there are any tests you may need or want during your pregnancy. Some tests are routine, such as an ultrasound, but you may need additional tests to ensure a safe and healthy pregnancy. One possibility is the quad screen test, which looks for markers associated with Down syndrome and other problems often associated with AMA. The quad screen test is a blood test that measures levels of the following four substances.

The quad screen test is best performed between the 16th and 18th week of pregnancy. It can be useful in determining the risk of Down syndrome (trisomy 21) and trisomy 18, a rare condition caused by an extra chromosome 18. The quad test can also identify an increased risk of open neural tube defects (developmental problems involving the brain and spine) such as spina bifida. Remember, a positive result on a quad screen test does not mean that your baby has these problems— again, it’s a question of a greater statistical chance. It is also an indication that you might need more diagnostic testing. You might, for example, need an amniocentesis to directly determine the presence or absence of these conditions or others, including sickle cell anemia, cystic fibrosis, muscular dystrophy, and Tay-Sachs disease.

•

AFP or alpha-fetoprotein, produced by the developing fetus

•

hCG (human chorionic gonadotropic), produced by the placenta

•

Estriol, produced by both the fetus and the placenta

Another test that can be an alternative to amniocentesis is the chorionic villus sampling test (CVS), which samples a very small part of the placenta. CVS can be performed earlier in a woman’s pregnancy (between the 10th and 12th week) and can be used to diagnose many different genetic abnormalities, including blood disorders, though it won’t detect any neural tube defects.

•

Inhibin-A, produced by the placenta and ovaries

You Are Not Alone Many women have had babies after the age of 35, including Meghan Markle, Jennifer Lopez, Mariah Carey, Eva Mendes, and Angela Bassett. Halle Berry was 47 when she had her second child (though you wouldn’t know it by looking at her) and Janet Jackson was 50! Now, it is true that celebrity lives are not like most of our own, but with good prenatal and obstetric care, there is every reason to believe that you too can safely give birth after the age of 35. In fact, in many developed countries, the average age at which women give birth is over 30, and in some countries, there are more babies born to women over the age of 35 than to those under the age of 25. Your best bet is to find a specialist who has experience working with older moms and get the best care you can in order to have a wonderful, healthy bundle of joy!

2020—volume 1

NEWS & VIEWS

Too Young for Menopause? words by Zora DeGrandpre, MS, ND

my mother and my grandmother either couldn’t or wouldn’t talk about, including “The Change.” And I wonder if along with losing that generational wisdom, we have also lost the sense that menopause is a normal phase of life—a milestone to experience with joy or at least some reverence.

THERE WERE LOTS OF THINGS

It’s important for women to remember that although our culture often treats menopause as a disease, replete with “symptoms” and “treatments,” it is not a disease—it is a perfectly normal part of a woman’s life. In fact, menopause has often been regarded as an auspicious transition, and historically the crone (an elder woman) was revered for possessing the wisdom of experience. Most women reach menopause after age 45; perimenopause is the transition phase leading up to menopause and commonly occurs around the age of 45. “Early menopause” is the term used to describe menopause occurring before the age of 45, and “premature menopause” is menopause before the age of 40. (The terminology itself is problematic, as “early” and “premature” seem to suggest that there is one agreed-upon “right” time for menopause.) When the time comes, whenever it comes, some women will hardly notice the change. Others may experience mild effects but nothing too serious, and still others will have more significant issues and may suffer quite a bit from them. It can take years for all of the “symptoms” of menopause to disappear, which can be a long and tough road for some women. Signs You May Be in Perimenopause Perimenopause is the phase leading up to menopause—the transition before the transition. Technically, menopause starts after you have not had a period for 12 consecutive months. The amount of time a woman spends in perimenopause can range from a few months to a few years.

During perimenopause, the ovaries begin to produce less estrogen, which can have a variety of effects on a woman’s body. Many women will experience at least some of these during perimenopause. » Irregular periods that are longer or shorter than they used to be, and cycles that vary more in length from month to month.

» Night sweats and hot flushes (also known as hot flashes or even “power surges”)

» Sleep problems like insomnia or restless sleep » Mood problems such as mood swings, greater irritability, depression, or increased anxiety

» Changes in libido » Vaginal dryness or discomfort (e.g., itching) » Difficulty concentrating as well as fuzzy thinking, mental fatigue, or forgetfulness

» Weight gain » Hair loss or thinning » Increased hair growth (oh, those chin hairs that pop up overnight!)

» Gastric problems like bloating, indigestion, & acid reflux » Urinary problems such as urine leakage when you sneeze or cough. Known as stress incontinence, this condition can appear whether you have never given birth or have had many children.

» Breast tenderness » Joint and muscle stiffness or pain

RADIANT HEALTH № 15 The Motherhood Issue

TOO YOUNG FOR MENOPAUSE

Both early and premature menopause can stem from the same causes; however, there is often no clear reason why the process begins earlier for some women than for others. For some women, the following factors may play a role in both early and premature menopause. » Family history can be a predictor of early or premature menopause. If your mother, grandmother, aunt, or sister experienced early or premature menopause, you too are more likely to enter menopause sooner than later.

» Certain health conditions seem to increase the

Every phase of life has its ups and its downs. Thinking about menopause—whenever it arrives—as a positive transition can help you deal with all the changes you are going through. » Maintain a healthy diet rich in calcium, vitamins (especially vitamin D to maintain bone health), and minerals. Emphasize whole foods and minimize processed, fast, and fatty foods. Eat lots of fruits and vegetables, avoid added sugars as much as possible, and drink plenty of water.

» Take note of any foods that trigger your hot flashes, mood swings, or night sweats and try to avoid them.

likelihood of early or premature menopause, though this connection isn’t fully understood. These conditions can include thyroid diseases (which are very common in middle-aged women), autoimmune diseases, rheumatoid arthritis, chronic fatigue syndrome, genetic factors, and HIV/AIDS.

» Chemically or surgically induced menopause can occur when the ovaries are either treated with chemotherapy or removed surgically. Radiation therapy can also induce an early or premature menopause.

» Smoking can increase the chances of both early and premature menopause.

Natural Approaches to a Natural Transition Many in the West are raised with the idea that taking a pill will make our problems go away instantly, and menopause has been treated no differently. In the 1960s, menopause was deemed an estrogen deficiency disease, and physicians began treating its symptoms with a synthetic, nonhuman estrogen called Premarin. (Fun fact: the name Premarin is short for pregnant mare urine, from which the drug is derived.) However, by 2002 it was clear that although these hormones did provide some women with certain cardiovascular benefits (including reducing mortality rates associated with heart disease), for most women they did more harm than good. And because every woman is different, it is important to discuss your particular situation with a trusted healthcare professional. You can decide from there what you are most comfortable with. Remember, perimenopause, early menopause, and premature menopause are not diseases and do not have to be treated as such. While you should always check with your doctor about any issues that concern you, for many, many women the perimenopausal transition is a relatively smooth process with a few rough patches along the way. Here are some natural ways to minimize any bumps and zig-zags you may experience.

For me personally, using soy milk instead of dairy got rid of my hot flashes within a week (my husband had been ready to install a pole in the living room because I was throwing off my clothes every few hours). Soy products and other phytoestrogencontaining plants like flaxseeds, sesame seeds, beans, and legumes may also help provide relief from hot flashes and night sweats.

» If you and your healthcare professional decide that you need some extra estrogen to get you through, consider using natural bioidentical hormones instead of synthetic versions. Bioidentical hormones have been safely used in Europe for many decades.

» Keep exercising, as it can help with both mood and concentration issues.

» Above all, try to maintain a positive attitude! Whether early, premature, or right on time, women have been making this transition for millennia—so can you!

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photography by Ahmad Barber model Felicia of Select Models Atlanta styling by Ray C'Mone make-up by Christine Dompier-Vazquez hair by Andy Buckmire draped silk-tafetta midi skirt by Christopher John Rogers dress worn as top by Off White Christopher John Rogers 24 RADIANT HEALTH № 13 The Taboo Issue

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FIGHTING FISTULA THROUGH FILM

STAYING SANE WHILE STAYING AT HOME

The Stephanie Okereke Linus film Dry was screened for a second time at this year’s Pan African Film and Arts Festival (PAFF) in Los Angeles, after winning the Programmers’ Award for Narrative Feature during its 2016 showing.

It may be 2020, but the most consequential number this year is 19, as COVID-19 has grabbed the whole world’s attention. We’ve compiled a list of resources to help you stay safe, beat the lockdown blues, and even virtually visit the Louvre. Check out our curated guide to navigating the pandemic at

Dry is a movie about child brides and their struggle with obstetric fistula caused by giving birth at a young age. It’s a tough subject, but one that Stephanie is ready to tackle. In our interview, the talented Nigerian director, actress, and model reveals the motivation behind the film and her fight—and the most important thing for both to achieve. Read more at

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As Nigerian British filmmaker Adeyemi Michael shared last year in an interview with Radiant, his short film Entitled was born from his mom’s shoe collection. Of course, this must-see production is about so much more than footwear—it’s a tribute to motherhood.

PRIDE WITHOUT PREJUDICE: SHOWCASING A MOTHER’S LIFE IN THE DIASPORA

Michael’s captivating, triumphant imagery will make you smile; his words will make you call your mom. See it all here RADIANTHEALTHMAG.COM/ENTITLED

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NUTRITION page 28.

ENDOCRINE DISRUPTORS Better living through chemistry? Not always. page 32.

INTERVIEW KIANO MOJO Our food and the places it takes us page 38.

LOCAL CHAMP AFRICAN YAM Everything you never knew about yams page 42.

AFRICAN YAM RECIPES Dishes for the comfort we're craving

SOMETIMES WHAT YOU DON’T KNOW can HURT YOU worcds by Oreoluwa Ogunyemi, MD and Zora DeGrandepre, MS, ND

RADIANT HEALTH № 15 The Motherhood Issue

ENDOCRINE DISRUPTORS

A Day in the Life It’s a lovely summer day and Farmer Brian decides to spray his tomatoes with pesticides because he’s worried about fruit worm infestation. He’s not an organic farmer, but his neighbor, Farmer Sherry, is. She chooses to use sustainable practices like crop rotation to limit pests. Both sell their produce to the local community supported agriculture (CSA) program, which the Johnson family is a member of. Jenice Johnson, a young mother, picks up her bag of organic vegetables from Farmer Sherry. Jenice has switched to buying organic vegetables and fruit as much as possible to protect her family. She always purchases organic tomatoes, spinach, and potatoes. The sun is high in the sky and Jenice applies SPF 30 sunscreen before heading out—she knows that she is not immune to premature skin aging or even skin cancer. That evening, Jenice prepares dinner for her husband, Carl, and her 7-year-old son, Michael. She is in a hurry, so she microwaves the organic potatoes in a plastic dish and air fries some chicken. She also serves diluted grape juice to Michael. Jenice is concerned about all the extra sugars in juice and wants to reduce her son’s risk of cavities and childhood obesity. Michael is a great kid but always needs to be reminded to wash his hands and put away his favorite toys—painted model airplanes—after gluing them together. He also needs to be reminded constantly to take his after-dinner bath. That night when Michael takes his bath, he lathers up with liquid soap and shampoo, finishing up by rubbing an oatmeal-based lotion all over himself. He tends to get rashes and sore, dry patches on his skin, so Jenice makes sure that he uses plenty of lotion. Finally, Michael is ready for bed. He climbs onto his flame-retardant mattress, decked out in his favorite airplane-themed pajamas, and falls asleep with one of his model planes resting on his pillow. After Michael goes to bed, Jenice and Carl can relax a bit and watch their favorite TV shows. They both work hard: Jenice is an administrator at a local nursing home located in a historic building from the 1920s, and Carl works as an electrician for a large international airline, which may be how Michael got his interest in airplanes. As they take their usual places on the sofa, Carl makes a mental note to fix that ripped seat cushion once and for all this weekend. So what’s the problem? It seems like a normal day for a normal family, right? The problem is the number of endocrine disruptors Jenice, Carl, and Michael were exposed to during their day. What are Endocrine Disruptors? The name says it all. The Endocrine Society defines endocrine disruptors (EDs) as “chemicals or mixtures of

chemicals that interfere with the way the body’s hormones work.” A part of the endocrine system, hormones are signaling molecules that allow our body’s organs to communicate with each other in order to direct our growth, behavior, and overall health. EDs can affect the body in numerous ways, all of which disrupt the endocrine system by changing the way our bodies interact with hormones. Scientists and doctors have known about EDs since the early 1900s, nearly as long as they have known about hormones. During the first half of the 20th century, farmers began noticing that farm animals exposed to moldy grains and clover plants became less fertile, while environmentalists observed that chemicals—particularly pesticides and industrial sewage in the water, air, and soil— were harming wildlife. The 20th century also saw an explosion in the number of man-made hormones for medical use, and their longterm effects on women and their children have drastically increased our knowledge about EDs. Diethylstilbestrol (DES), one of the most notorious of these medicines, was used between the 1940s and 1970s to prevent miscarriages in early pregnancy. Doctors soon began to realize that the women given DES had more reproductive health problems than their peers. In addition, their children were also more likely to have a wide range of health problems, including reproductive cancers, mood disorders, and infertility. Since then, more research has been conducted on the effects of man-made industrial, agricultural, and household chemicals on human health. With increasing awareness of the side effects came increased research and regulation. The term “endocrine disruptor” was first used in 1991 to describe how these chemicals affect the endocrine system. The World Health Organization (WHO) provided its first report on EDs in 2013 and acknowledged that more research was still needed. While there is much we still do not know about these chemicals, we have learned a great deal about EDs over the past 30 years. EDs are capable of mimicking our natural hormones, tricking the body into thinking that they are natural signals coming from the body itself. They can also increase or decrease our bodies’ hormone levels, block our natural hormones from doing their job, and even increase or decrease how sensitive we are to hormones, thereby changing how we respond to them. Since hormones affect the entirety of the body’s functions, from brain development to reproduction to immune health, EDs can wreak havoc on all areas of our health. While EDs can affect people of all ages, children and young adults—and especially pregnant women and their offspring—are the most susceptible. EDs can affect our mood, our sleep quality, and even our ability to handle daily stressors, and they are linked to metabolic disruptions such as obesity, diabetes, and

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thyroid dysfunction. EDs can also affect reproductive health, including fertility, menstrual cycles, sperm viability, and menopause. Not surprisingly, they are also associated with reproductive cancers of the breast, prostate, ovaries, testicles, vagina, and uterus. In addition, EDs can affect a baby’s growth during pregnancy, increasing their risk of low birth weight, autism spectrum disorders, developmental learning disorders, and sexual development disorders. Common Endocrine Disruptors EDs are overwhelmingly found in synthetic or manmade products, but some natural substances such as lead, mercury, cadmium, and arsenic can have many of the same effects as EDs if we are exposed to high enough amounts. For example, essential oils such as lavender and tea tree oil have been associated with abnormal breast development in young boys. While there is some controversy surrounding this claim, and it is still unclear whether there is a safe level of exposure or whether only a particular (and as yet unknown) group of boys is at risk, it is important that parents of young boys be aware of the possible link and limit their children’s exposure. Many everyday products contain common man-made EDs. »

Pesticides: DDT, chlorpyrifos, atrazine, glyphosate, and 2, 4-D

Industrial solvents and lubricants: polychlorinated biphenyls (PCBs) and dioxins

Plastics: bisphenol A (BPA), phthalates, and other phenols

Flame retardants: PCBs and organophosphate flame retardants (OPFRs) used in household furniture and electronics

Beauty and personal care products: phthalates, parabens, triclosan

Synthetic “O” UV filters in sunscreens: oxybenzone, octinoxate

Cookware, food wrappings, and clothing: perfluorocarbons

What Happens When We Are Exposed to EDs? EDs can be inhaled as we breathe, ingested in our food and beverages, or absorbed through the skin. And they are in many, many of the items that we use every day. Let’s take a look at a few of the key culprits in our story about the Johnson family:

The pesticides used on Farmer Brian’s vegetables drifted over to Farmer Sherry’s crops, contaminating them despite Farmer Sherry’s sustainable and organic farming practices. This problem is difficult to avoid, as even

Farmer Sherry may be unaware of the exposure and therefore incorrectly labels her produce as organic.

Jenice already knows about the Environmental Working Group’s (EWG) Dirty Dozen—a list of the 12 fruits and vegetables most likely to be contaminated by pesticides— so she chooses organic options when buying items off that list. (Conversely, it is less important to buy organic fruits and vegetables from the EWG’s Clean 15 list of the produce less likely to be contaminated, such as avocados and pineapples.) Your best bet is to thoroughly wash all of your fruit and vegetables, even if they are labeled organic, using warm water and a glycerin-based soap. Jenice and Michael used several personal care products throughout the day, including sunscreen, soaps, and lotions. These items are often packaged in plastics that

contain phthalates for flexibility. To decrease exposure to phthalates, Jenice can choose products that are not packaged in plastic. Alternatives might include glass bottles or paper packaging.

Personal care products can also contain parabens, which are commonly used preservatives. There is quite a bit of controversy regarding parabens and how safe they are, but concerns abound regarding their role as EDs. Parabens are not always named in a product’s ingredient list, but are instead often hidden in the term “fragrances.” Jenice and her family can choose soaps and lotions that are glycerinbased or plant-based. Many personal care products have made a commitment to being paraben-free, so choose these items if you want to limit your exposure to EDs. Also, try choosing fragrance-free products. While some products use the term “natural fragrances,” the definition of “natural” is not well regulated in cosmetics and personal care products. In fact, a supposedly natural fragrance only needs to have ingredients derived from natural substances; the finished fragrance can be extensively altered in a laboratory before making it into the product itself. And remember, some unaltered natural fragrances—like lavender essential oil—may still act as EDs. Sunscreen reduces your risk of skin cancer by 40% to 50%, but it’s important to be aware that the “O” UV filters (oxybenzone and octinoxate) are readily absorbed by the skin and may act as EDs. These chemicals also cause

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severe damage to marine life by unsuspecting beachgoers who slather on the sunscreen and then go for a swim, leaving much of their sunscreen in the ocean. (In addition, high SPF sunscreen may reduce the amount of vitamin D the skin produces, especially in darker skinned individuals, which may increase the risk of bone loss, high blood pressure, heart disease, diabetes, autoimmune diseases, and some forms of cancer.) Try to limit your sun exposure on sunny days, choosing instead to be out either before 10 a.m. or after 4 p.m. when the UV rays are less powerful. Also, move the SPF to your clothes: many companies make UV-filtering hats, shirts, pants, and more. And when choosing a sunscreen, mineral-based products may be the safest option—and now there are even some that won’t

that microwaving food is harmful, microwaving food in plastic dishes is a problem. The radiation energy from the microwave can leach the BPA and phthalates out of the plastic and into your food. Try to avoid polycarbonate plastic containers marked with the recycling number 7, as they can contain BPA, as well as number 3 plastics made from polyvinyl chloride (PVC). And never microwave food in any type of plastic or plastic wrap. Instead, always use glass or ceramic containers for heating or reheating food in the microwave. Both parents work in areas where EDs are common contaminants. Jenice works in an old

building that likely has lead paint, while Carl may come in contact with multiple chemicals

“Your best bet is to thoroughly wash all of your fruit and vegetables, even if they are labeled organic, using warm water and a glycerin-based soap.” leave an annoying white residue. At the very least, try to stay away from the “O” UV filters. Michael’s mattress, his model airplane set, and the ripped sofa cushion all contain flame-retarding PCBs. These compounds can

be trapped in the environment for years and can even accumulate in a mother’s breast milk. They easily enter into the air via dust particles, as well as into the soil and water. Always check the manufacturing label when buying mattresses and furniture, as chemical flame retardants should be listed if they are used. If you can’t find this information, ask the salesperson or manufacturer. Also, be sure to use a wet cloth to mop and dust your home regularly, and make sure that any broken upholstered furniture (which may contain flame retardants) is either repaired quickly or replaced. Finally, choose a HEPA filter for your vacuum or air filter to help reduce the amount of EDs in your home. Jenice heated up food in a plastic dish in the microwave. While there is no solid evidence

in the course of his work as an electrician in the airline industry. They may be exposed to these EDs every day and can bring the contamination home with them as well. Both Jenice and Carl can bring up their concerns with human resources and make sure that their workspace is as contaminant free as possible. While this can be a challenging topic to broach with your employer, everyone deserves a safe working environment. They can also make sure to change and wash their clothing—and themselves—as soon as they get home from work. We all care about our health and the health of our children and other loved ones. In our scenario, Jenice and Carl were always thinking about the health and safety of their family, as we all do. However, the products we are exposed to and bring into our homes can lead to unintended consequences unless we are armed with information. This article can be the first step in helping you to reduce the level of EDs in your home and environment so that you can better protect yourself and the ones you love!

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RADIANT HEALTH № 15 The Motherhood Issue

KIANO MOJU

UNITING GENERATIONS THROUGH FOOD worcds by Chinyere Amobi, MPH

In a world where many families are separated by miles, continents, and oceans, food helps us maintain traditions, feed nostalgia, and unite generations. Food has the power to connect us with our relatives alive and passed on, present and far away. No one is more conscious of this than international chef Kiano Moju, founder of Jikoni Culinary Creative Studio and former video producer at BuzzFeed Tasty. Generations of women helped build her culinary foundation, but the innovative path she travels now is all her own. photo by Nathan Ng 2020—volume 1

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Radiant Health: For many people, food and family are intimately connected. What is food’s role in your family? Kiano Moju: Like in most cultures, food is at the center of everything we do. Every gathering we have. My grandmother to this day will wake up and just make food. In Maasai culture there’s nothing like inviting someone to come on a certain day; people just show up. You’re cooking all the time with the expectation of socializing around food. I remember when I learned about American dinner parties, probably in college. The concept of having people over after the food is already made was the most alien thing to me, because I always saw people socializing around the preparation of food. If there was a Kenyan party, 90% of it would be people hanging around making the food together, and eating at the very end. With my family, while you’re cutting the greens and sorting through the peas, you’re having conversation and catching up. The meal is the final 10% of what you do. RH: How has your family influenced your approach to cooking? KM: I was able to cook more as a child because of my mom’s lack of care for cooking. To this day, cooking is a chore for her. When I was younger and she would be rolling out chapati, a Kenyan bread, she would give me a small piece of dough just to play with, but I wanted everything I did to look like hers. She eventually enrolled me in cooking camp and I learned how to cook from outside people. I learned technical skills and developed a culinary foundation at this camp, which helped me to not be a burden when I was cooking with my mom. I learned a couple of traditional dishes through my mom, but most of my cultural education happened during summers at my grandparents’ ranch in Kenya. Since I was 6 years old, we’d spend every other summer vacation at our ranch in rural Kenya with my very traditional Maasai family. Our ranch had cows, goats, chickens, and not much electricity except through a generator. If we wanted to cook, we were gathering wood, sorting beans all day, and slaughtering chickens. I learned all about traditional cooking because there was no other activity to do, other than working on the ranch. I would just sit there and help when my grandmother and her friends would hang

out and cook, and that’s where I learned a lot about making Kenyan cuisine. RH: Who in your family inspires your cooking the most? KM: Traditional Maasai cooking doesn’t have any spices to it; it’s very technical from the bottom up—making your own fire and killing your own animal. But when it comes to flavoring and seasoning food, my uncle’s wife Tilly was the first person in my family that was really into using spices. There was a point when I was a teenager cooking with her that I got really excited about flavor combinations. My aunt came from a different Maasai clan and was more experimental than everyone else in my family, so she and I would have so much fun creating. When she came to America and lived down the road from us, I experienced a lot of innovation just cooking with her. She was a big motivator and inspiration for me to try out things in the kitchen. RH: As your personal and professional culinary skills have developed, what kind of role reversals have you seen within your family? KM: During the holidays when I was younger, everyone would have a job and generally one person would be in charge of a meal. I’m now in charge of all of them, even though I’m the youngest of the adults. I built trust within my family in the kitchen. It did not come easily, and it took many years for them to let me cook and to like what I cook. That’s changed and developed over the years, so being in charge of all the holiday meals before I even turn 30 is something I’m really proud of. The trust came through the palate and through dedication and research. My grandmother was the hardest one to convince. When I was younger, my mom would pack me pasta and ramen on our trips to Kenya, because when you’re traveling your stomach often doesn’t agree with many local foods at the beginning. My grandma didn’t grasp that idea because she hadn’t traveled anywhere yet. She thought I didn’t like Kenyan food, so my food was always seen as a separate thing, like my palate was separate. So, when I would try to contribute to family food, my grandma would say no. More recently, I was with my grandma while she was staying with my mother on her visit to America for the

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KIANO MOJU

holidays. I cooked shakshuka for breakfast, and my grandma ate it because she had no other choice. This was the first dish of mine that she really ate. She said, “Oh, it’s actually good!” It took my whole life for my grandma to even want to put a fork into something I cooked. Likewise, I was in Kenya a few summers ago for my uncle’s wedding. Our house there has two kitchens, and everyone would come knocking at my kitchen door to ask what I was making. I made them Spanish tortillas—just eggs, potatoes, and onion—and I kept getting knocks on the door asking for more. I still have uncles texting me about it. RH: Family recipes are a way of keeping our ancestry alive. Is there one dish that makes you feel particularly connected to your family around the world?

KM: Chapati, 100%. It’s a flatbread every Kenyan makes, and not everyone makes it great. It’s that one dish where, when someone volunteers to make it, everyone in their head says, Dear God, no. It has such simple ingredients: flour, water, a little bit of fat and salt. That’s it. But getting that balance is an unmeasured art. Being good at making chapati is the ultimate cooking status symbol in our family. My grandma has been unrivaled as the best chapati maker. In America, it used to be my aunt Tilly, but by everyone’s confession I’ve surpassed them all. With tradition, they teach you how to do, but not why, like [the study of] food chemistry does. Every woman who has come into my grandma’s kitchen has their way of doing it. I’ve just been collecting little nuggets to develop and hone my own technique. I did a deep dive into the food chemistry behind everything and swapped out the type of fat I use to make a softer, flakier

Kiano at her family ranch in Sultan Hamud, Kenya.

photo by Claire Nolan

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Kiano at her home kitchen in Los Angeles, CA

photo by Nathan Ng 36

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KIANO MOJU

chapati than everyone else. I’m now in the difficult position of trying to write down that recipe, because it’s hard to do properly and I want people to have the opportunity for success. Because I tell you, bad chapati—you’ll see it thrown out and given to the dogs. RH: As the coronavirus pandemic intensifies worldwide, we’re in very challenging times. How do you show care and comfort through your food? KM: This is hard for me because I enjoy cooking exponentially more than I do eating. It’s a blessing, because I don’t like fitness; it’s what keeps me fitting in all my clothing. I use food as an excuse to get people together because I grew up in this culture where people cook food together and gather. Now cooking and not sharing with anyone is very alien and also fatiguing to me, because there’s no conclusion to it. For me, the conclusion isn’t the cooking being done; it’s the sharing, and there isn’t much of that right now. On Saturday, I made little care packages for my friends and my mom. I lined up little brown bags and put my gloves on and baked cookies and a big batch of spaghetti sauce and cabbage rolls. Then I drove around and left them at people’s doors. I called them as I drove away. That was the best I could do with cooking and sharing, and I got so much joy when all my friends sent me selfies of them eating the food and cookies. RH: Tell us more about your most recent business venture, Jikoni Culinary Creative Studio. KM: Had you asked a week ago, my answer

would have been different. Our primary business was kitchen rental and events. Production companies rent the space and run cooking shows out of it. With businesses shut down at the moment, our revenue is frozen. I’ve had to pivot our business model. It will still include rentals and events, whenever we’re allowed to do that again, but my days have been spent building a new website for Jikoni [Swahili for “kitchen”] to become a space to celebrate African culture through recipes and other food and lifestyle content. I want to build a community around topics I’m passionate about, primarily food from the African diaspora, to one day have an editorial vertical that caters to that audience. Being in a time when I can only create online content has fast-tracked my timeline by a year and a half to try to push out that vertical. I’m trying to build a model that’s a collaboration between editorial and crowdsourced user-generated content, where people are able to share new recipes and stories. For this type of content, too many people have had their story told for them inaccurately. I really just want people to have an active hand in their storytelling. You know African people, we always want to put a voice to something. I can’t tell someone this is the definitive way to make jollof rice. They’d find me and kill me. But think of a space where many people can share their own version. We can support them with the skills we have as culinary content creators to develop a nice video to accompany it, so people can make it at home. I think it’s just in our culture to share. Learn more about Jikoni at Creative Studio at jikonicreative.com.

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Local Champ

African Yam

EVERYTHING YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT YAMS

words by Oreoluwa Ogunyemi, MD

Every year African farmers, primarily in Nigeria and West Africa, grow 54 million tons of yams, or 95% of global production. These yams feed hundreds of millions of Africans while contributing substantially to the African economy, to the tune of $5 billion annually. Yams provide a stable source of income for West African farmers year round. Yet the work is far from easy: farmers must battle a range of pests vying to destroy yam crops, complete a strenuous harvest, and successfully transport the bulky foodstuff. But it’s all worth it for (insert your favorite yam dish here)! For me, it’s the subtly sweet-yet-savory yam porridge whose mouth-watering aroma and deeply satisfying mouthfuls transport me instantly to my youth, when the same tantalizing fragrance would have me impatiently peeking under the lid at the bubbling concoction, completely oblivious to my mother’s exasperated shouts.

RADIANT HEALTH № 15 The Motherhood Issue

›› Our Local Champ series celebrates the diversity of the African kitchen by highlighting a different traditional, indigenous food in each issue.

NUTRITION

RADIANT HEALTH № 15 The Motherhood Issue

LOCAL CHAMP AFRICAN YAM

Sweet Potatoes Are Not Yams

Yams and Women’s Health

African yams are often confused with sweet potatoes, which are often mistakenly referred to as yams. While sweet potatoes and African yams are both root vegetables, the differences end there. Sweet potatoes grow primarily in the Americas and are popular in the southern United States. One theory suggests that the name confusion began when African slaves, forced into labor in the Americas, began calling sweet potatoes “yams” due to their nostalgia for African yams.

You may have heard that yams can be particularly beneficial to women. Two well-known rumors are that eating yams can help guarantee a twin birth as well as ease our transition into menopause. So is there any truth to these wives’ tales? Well, maybe. Most studies show that certain compounds in yams— specifically adenosine and arbutin—can increase estrogen levels, while other studies (though not all) show that they increase follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH). Since shifts in these hormones are vital to pregnancy and menopause, eating yams may affect women during these life changes.

Smaller than African yams, sweet potatoes have tapered edges, orange flesh and skin (though there are also white and purple varieties), and a characteristic sweet flavor when cooked. The colorful hues of these root vegetables are due to nutrient-dense polyphenols not typically found in traditional African yams. Because of their color and sweetness, these alternative tubers lend themselves well to a number of dessert dishes like sweet potato pie and candied “yams.” To confuse the matter more, cocoyams (or taro) are also not true yams, but an entirely different type of root vegetable with characteristically large “elephant ear” leaves that are also common in African cooking. Health Benefits Galore African yams are high in complex carbohydrates (30% by weight), making them an excellent source of dietary fiber, and their low glycemic index compared to sweet potatoes also makes yams a healthier alternative for those wishing to avoid blood sugar spikes. While not a low-calorie food, their fiber content of 4 grams per serving makes yams satiating, and when eaten in moderation, they can help us maintain a healthy weight and digestive system. In fact, research suggests that diosgenin, the steroid precursor found in yams, may help treat or even prevent a range of diseases, from diabetes to inflammation and some cancers. While higher levels of diosgenin are found in nonedible wild yams, such as Chinese wild yams, studies show that certain edible yams, like water yams, also contain diosgenin. A small study of healthy adults even showed that the diosgenin in yams, when taken as a dietary supplement, can help boost brain function by encouraging the growth of brain cells (neurons). Yams are also a good source of micronutrients, including vitamin C, copper, and manganese. Vitamin C is crucial for strengthening the immune system, copper improves the body’s ability to make red blood cells, and manganese contributes to increased bone density and a healthy metabolism. A serving of African yams also provides onefifth of our recommended daily allowance of potassium, a key nutrient that can help lower blood pressure and reduce the risk of stroke.

Research suggests that high levels of twinning in Nigerian women who regularly eat yams is in part due to their effect on FSH, which is essential for ovulation. As FSH levels increase, fertility increases, as well as the chance that multiple eggs will be fertilized. This can lead to a woman having twins—or even triplets! Other factors can also increase a woman’s chance of having twins, such as the existence of other twins in the family, increased maternal age (over 35), prior pregnancies, and being of African descent (as opposed to Caucasian or Asian descent). And what about menopausal women? In a small study, healthy post-menopausal women were asked to replace their staple starchy foods (such as rice) with yams for one month. Researchers found that the women who ate more yams were more likely to have fewer bothersome post-menopausal symptoms while improving their cholesterol levels. The research also suggested that mature women who make yams a staple in their diet can help reduce their risk of postmenopausal breast cancer and heart disease. While these studies are promising, much of the research is retrospective (meaning researchers ask women to recall how much yam they ate, which can be inaccurate) or studied only small numbers of women without good comparison groups. That’s why, as of now, yams are not specifically recommended for women’s health issues. Cooking African Yams There are many ways to eat African yams. Whether boiled, baked, or fried, the possibilities are endless—and delicious! Popular options include pepper soup, fried yam chips, and pounded fufu. Since yams are primarily a starchy food high in carbohydrates, a well-balanced meal should also include healthy fats and proteins. Furthermore, the diosgenin found in yams is better absorbed when combined with fats. Fortunately, many yam recipes, such as yam porridge (with its generous helping of palm oil), breakfast yams with eggs, and even the occasional treat of fried yam chips already incorporate fat into the dish. Whichever way you love to enjoy yams, rest assured that as a part of a well-rounded diet, this nutrient-packed staple will love you back!

2019—volume 2

The

AfricanYam Getting Us Back to Our Roots

recipes & photography by Gabriela Iancu

NUTRITION

Oven-Baked Yamarita Fries Serves 2 — A major staple of the Nigerian and West African diet, yams are packed with fiber, vitamins, and minerals. These Yamarita fries, a delicious twist on Nigerian fried yam, are oven-baked, perfectly golden, and crispy, but without all the extra fat from deep frying. These yam fries can be eaten as an indulgent snack with a spicy dip on the side, or as a meal alongside your choice of stew.

RADIANT HEALTH № 15 The Motherhood Issue

OVEN-BAKED YAMARITA FRIES

INGREDIENTS

NUTRITION FACTS

servings: 2

PER SERVING CALORIES

263

total fat

5.2g

saturated fat

% DAILY VALUE

1.5g

cholesterol

164mg

55%

sodium

782mg

34%

total carb

42.1g

15%

dietary fiber

2.9g

10%

sugars

4.1g

protein

11.8g

total mineral vitamin d

15mcg

77%

calcium

47mg

iron

4mg

23%

potassium

400mg

Daily percentage value based on a 2,000 calorie diet. Data analyzed from verywell.com

1/2 medium yam 3/4 cup all-purpose flour 2 eggs, lightly beaten 1/4 teaspoon garlic powder 1/4 teaspoon curry powder 1/4 teaspoon black pepper 1/4 teaspoon thyme 1/4 teaspoon salt 2/3 cup tomato sauce 2 teaspoons hot chili sauce 1 teaspoon dried chili flakes pinch of cayenne pepper to taste

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 400º F. Line a baking sheet with waxed paper.

Peel the yams, slice into 1/2-inch-thick rectangles measuring about 1 by 4 inches, then boil in salted water for 5 to 7 minutes. Drain and set aside.

In a shallow dish, combine the flour, garlic powder, curry powder, black pepper, thyme, and salt. In a second shallow dish, add the lightly beaten eggs.

Working one piece at a time, dredge the yam in flour, shake off any excess, then dip it into the egg mixture to coat. Dredge it once more in flour and then transfer it to the baking sheet.

Bake the yams for 20 to 25 minutes or until the yamarita fries are crisp and golden.

Combine the tomato sauce, hot sauce, chili flakes, and cayenne pepper in a small bowl. Serve yamarita fries with the dip.

2020—volume 1

NUTRITION

Yam Truffles Makes 18 pieces — Soft and subtly sweet, these decadent yam truffles are the perfect treat. This versatile dessert contains only natural ingredients, and its sweetness comes from just a handful of raisins or pitted dates. For best results, use baked yam or the mash will be too wet.

NUTRITION FACTS

INGREDIENTS

servings: 18

1 cup mashed baked yam (from 1 yam tuber) 1 cup almond meal 2 tablespoons raisins or pitted dates 1 teaspoon cinnamon 2 tablespoons cacao powder 2 tablespoons coconut oil, room temperature 1/2 cup coconut flakes pinch of sea salt

PER SERVING

% DAILY VALUE

CALORIES

total fat

saturated fat

2.3g

11%

cholesterol

0mg

sodium

13mg

total carb

5.4g

dietary fiber

1.9g

sugars

protein

PREPARATION

1.8g

total mineral vitamin d

0mcg

calcium

20mg

iron

1mg

potassium

105mg

In a food processor, blend the mashed yam, almond meal, raisins or dates, cinnamon, and cacao powder until smooth.

Roll the mixture into tablespoon-sized balls and place in the refrigerator for 10 minutes. This will firm them up and make them easier to roll in the coconut flakes.

Remove the truffles from the refrigerator and roll them in the coconut flakes until coated.

Daily percentage value based on a 2,000 calorie diet. Data analyzed from verywell.com

Note: If the mixture is too wet to roll easily, add more almond meal (the amount needed will vary depending on the moisture content of the yam).

RADIANT HEALTH № 15 The Motherhood Issue

YAM TRUFFLES

2020—volume 1

NUTRITION

Hearty Veggie Yam Pottage Serves 4 — The perfect comfort food for a chilly day, this hearty yam pottage is high on flavor, and satisfying to the soul. Smothered in a thick, flavorful sauce, the yams take on a buttery soft texture. This simple meal can easily feed a crowd and is sure to become a new family favorite.

NUTRITION FACTS

servings: 4

PER SERVING CALORIES

213

total fat

7.3g

saturated fat

% DAILY VALUE

3.4g

17%

cholesterol

10mg

sodium

395mg

17%

total carb

33.6g

12%

dietary fiber

5.3g

19%

sugars

protein

4.5g

total mineral vitamin d

0mcg

calcium

35mg

iron

2mg

10%

potassium

952mg

20%

Daily percentage value based on a 2,000 calorie diet. Data analyzed from verywell.com

RADIANT HEALTH № 15 The Motherhood Issue

HEARTY VEGGIE YAM POTTAGE

INGREDIENTS

3 cups yams, peeled and cut into 1-inch cubes 1/2 red onion, finely chopped 1 teaspoon cumin seeds 2 tablespoons ground crayfish 1/2 habanero pepper, finely sliced 2 tablespoons palm oil 1 cup low-sodium vegetable broth 1 cup tomato sauce (purée) fresh basil leaves for garnish salt to taste PREPARATION

Heat palm oil in a pan over medium-low heat. Add the onions, habanero pepper, and cumin seeds and sauté for about 8 minutes.

Stir in the yams, crayfish, vegetable broth, and tomato sauce and bring to a boil, then reduce heat and simmer for about 20 minutes or until yams are tender and liquid has reduced. At this point the pottage should begin to thicken; cook for 5 to 8 minutes longer if needed. Garnish with basil leaves and serve hot.

2020—volume 1

NUTRITION

RADIANT HEALTH № 15 The Motherhood Issue

BEEF AND YAM PEPPER SOUP

Beef and Yam Pepper Soup Serves 4

INGREDIENTS

— This Nigerian yam pepper soup is surprisingly simple and incredibly flavorful. The yams are cooked until they start to fall apart, thickening the peppery beef broth. This hearty soup delivers a perfect combination of spice and comfort that the entire family will love.

2 tablespoons palm oil 2 cups beef, cut into 1-inch cubes 2 medium onions, chopped 1 garlic clove, minced 1 teaspoon ginger powder 2 teaspoons ground crayfish 1 habanero pepper, sliced 3 cups yams, peeled and cut into 1-inch cubes 6 cups low-sodium vegetable broth fresh basil leaves for garnish salt to taste

PREPARATION

Warm the palm oil in a large, heavy pot over medium-high heat until hot. Add the beef and cook for 4 to 5 minutes or until browned, stirring occasionally. Add the onions and garlic and cook for 2 minutes, stirring frequently. Add all remaining ingredients except the basil and mix well. Bring to a gentle boil, then reduce heat, cover, and simmer for 20 to 30 minutes or until the yams and beef are soft, stirring occasionally. Serve the soup hot and sprinkled with basil.

NUTRITION FACTS

servings: 4

PER SERVING CALORIES

330

total fat

10.3g

saturated fat

% DAILY VALUE

13%

4.6g

23%

cholesterol

55mg

18%

sodium

196mg

total carb dietary fiber sugars protein

36.2g

13%

5.4g

19%

3.5g 21.9g

total mineral vitamin d

0mcg

calcium

35mg

iron

11mg

60%

potassium

1028mg

22%

Daily percentage value based on a 2,000 calorie diet. Data analyzed from verywell.com

2020—volume 1

02 SECTION

photography by Ahmad Barber model Aris of Select Models Atlanta styling by Ray C'Mone make-up by Christine Dompier-Vazquez hair by Andy Buckmire apparel by Nike

FITNESS

page 54.

LISS: LOW INTESNSITY STEADY STATE Bring your workout back to basics page 60.

FITNESS AS A MOTHERHOOD MUST From selfless to selfish self-full page 64.

MOM-FRIENDLY WORKOUTS Movement from cradle to empty nest page 72.

INTERVIEW ANOWA ADJA Reimagining the shape of fitness

L I S S

LOW INTENSITY STEADY

STATE Show some love for this old-school workout! worcds by Patrick Dale

FITNESS

THE FITNESS INDUSTRY LOVES ACRONYMS. If you’ve

got even a passing interest in working out, you are sure to have seen things like: HIIT high-intensity interval training LBT legs, bums, and tums

Walking

DOMS delayed-onset muscle soreness

Hiking

EPOC excess post-exercise oxygen

Jogging

consumption (AKA “afterburn”)

Running

MRT metabolic resistance training

Cycling (indoors or outdoors—but not spinning classes)

FCR fast continuous running MHR maximum heart rate What Is LISS? In sharp contrast to high-intensity interval training (HIIT), circuit training, and other high-intensity workout methods, LISS training is slow-paced and could even be described as easy—at least compared to interval training. With LISS, you start your workout at a low to moderate level of intensity and then maintain that pace for the duration of your workout. Because you aren’t working especially hard, LISS workouts tend to be longer than HIIT workouts, with 30 minutes or more being common, to over an hour if you are relatively fit. During a LISS workout, your heart rate should be between 50% and 65% of your maximum. Use the following calculations to determine your personalized exercise heart rate training zone. 220 – your age x 0.5 = 50% of maximum heart rate (lower end of scale) 220 – your age x 0.65 = 65% of maximum heart rate (upper end of scale) For example, if you are 45 years old, your heart rate during a LISS workout should be between 87.5 to 113.75 beats per minute. While you can exceed 65% of your heart rate, there is no real need to, and it won’t make your workout any more effective. It will just make it harder than it needs to be. No heart rate monitor? No problem! On a scale of one to ten, you should feel like you are working at a level five or six. You should also be able to speak

several sentences at a time without having to pause for breath. In simple terms, you should feel comfortable and able to maintain your pace for the entire duration of your workout. The following activities are all good for a LISS workout.

Swimming

Rowing

Elliptical trainer

Stepper

10.

Group exercise classes (Zumba, step aerobics, etc.—but not circuit training)

You can do LISS workouts indoors or outdoors, but in our experience, outdoor workouts are much more enjoyable because you’ll have more to look at. Sixty minutes of staring at the same patch of wall while sitting on an exercise bike is not our idea of fun! What Are the Benefits and Advantages of LISS? Like most forms of exercise, LISS training offers several advantages over more intense workouts, along with a wide range of benefits. Improves cardiorespiratory health LISS training is good for your heart, lungs, and circulatory system because it improves your ability to take in, transport, and utilize oxygen. Improved cardiovascular fitness is directly linked to improved cardiovascular health and can lower your risk of several serious medical conditions, including coronary heart disease, heart attack, stroke, high blood pressure, type 2 diabetes, pre-diabetes, and metabolic syndrome. Targets fat loss When you exercise at a high level of intensity, your body mainly uses glycogen for energy. Glycogen is glucose stored in your muscles and liver. In contrast, LISS workouts primarily burn fat. While LISS does burn fewer calories per minute than HIIT, the workouts are usually longer, so this isn’t really an issue.

RADIANT HEALTH № 15 The Motherhood Issue

LISS LOW INTENSITY STEADY STATE

“LISS training is much easier, and because you are going to exercise at a constant speed, you are free to switch off your brain and just focus on putting one foot in front of the other.” Losing fat and reaching a healthy weight will not only affect how you feel and look—it will also reduce your risk of developing a wide range of medical conditions, including some forms of cancer. Suits all ages and fitness levels High-intensity interval training is a very tough form of exercise. You need to be pretty fit to do it (let alone enjoy it) and doing HIIT when you are unfit can even lead to injury. In contrast, LISS training is much easier and more comfortable, making it appropriate for all ages and fitness levels. Builds muscular endurance Exercising for extended periods will increase your muscular endurance—the ability of your muscles to work without becoming fatigued. If you find that you feel worn out and tired at the end of the day, you may lack muscular endurance. Regular LISS training will build an “endurance reserve” so that the activities of the day are less draining and you won’t feel as tired. Reduces downtime between workouts HIIT workouts are by their very nature short and intense, and if you aren’t entirely spent by the end of your session, you probably weren’t working hard enough! Because of this, it can take a day a day or two to recover from a HIIT workout, so most people limit themselves to three or four HIIT workouts per week. LISS training is much easier on your body, which means you will recover faster and can work out more often. With LISS, you can even work out daily if you want to. However, we do suggest that you change up your LISS activities so that you do different things on different days in order to prevent overuse injuries and boredom.

Boosts recovery after more intense workouts When it comes to HIIT and LISS workouts, you don’t have to choose one over the other if you don’t want to. In fact, these very different workouts complement each other perfectly. Check out this weekly schedule for an example of how you can combine HIIT and LISS to burn fat, lose weight, and get fit. Monday – 20 minutes HIIT Tuesday – 40 minutes LISS Wednesday – 20 minutes HIIT Thursday – Rest and stretch Friday – 40 minutes LISS Saturday – 20 minutes HIIT Sunday – 40 minutes LISS or rest and stretch LISS increases blood flow and warms up your muscles, both of which will help speed recovery after more intense workouts and may also help alleviate delayed-onset muscle soreness. Helps with stress management With HIIT workouts, you need to push yourself hard, which can be quite stressful. You have to keep your eye on your timer and hustle quickly from one exercise to the next with no time to relax. You may even find yourself dreading your next HIIT workout, simply because you know how hard it’s going to be. These factors may increase your stress levels. Isn’t modern life hectic enough without making your workout stressful too? LISS training is much easier, and because you are going to exercise at a constant speed, you are free to switch off your brain and just focus on putting one foot in front of the other. In fact, LISS workouts can be quite relaxing and even meditative, and that’s very good for your stress levels.

2020—volume 1

LISS LOW INTENSITY STEADY STATE

Promotes social workouts

How to Start LISS Training

LISS workouts are perfect to do with family or friends. Because you won’t be too out of breath to talk, you can chat as you work out, which is a great way to make your workout more enjoyable. In contrast, if you are doing a HIIT workout properly, you will not have the breath needed to talk much, so even if you work out with a friend, you won’t be able to enjoy much of a chat until you are finished.

Sold on the benefits of LISS? Good to hear! LISS training is easy to do, and you don’t need any special equipment to get started. In its purest form, you just need to lace up your shoes and head out for a brisk walk. Providing you are slightly out of breath and keep going for 20 to 30 minutes at the same pace, you’re doing a LISS workout and will enjoy all of the benefits outlined above.

Lessens sedentarism

The following guidelines will help you get the most out of this low-stress workout method.

HIIT workouts are by necessity very short. And because they are so tough, you probably won’t be able to do more than three or four workouts per week. In theory, that means your workouts could add up to just over an hour of exercise per week. That is not enough physical activity to offset the dangers of being sedentary. In contrast, LISS workouts are longer, and because they are less intense, you can do them more often—even daily if you wish—making LISS training the perfect cure for sedentarism. The Drawbacks of LISS

» Start with three 20- to 30-minute sessions per week on nonconsecutive days. » Increase the duration of your workouts by a minute or two each week. » Add an extra session per week after a month. » Gradually build up to five or six 40- to 60-minute sessions per week. » Use a range of activities to help prevent boredom and any overuse injuries.

Just like any form of exercise, LISS training has drawbacks along with its benefits and advantages. However, the downsides are relatively few:

The Bottom Line

Increased workout length Most HIIT workouts are over and done in 20 to 30 minutes. With LISS training, however, you could find yourself exercising for an hour or more. This requires a significant time commitment and may not be possible or attractive if your days are already very full.

Like all forms of exercise, LISS training is good for your health and fitness, and combined with an appropriate diet, it can help control your weight too. Provided you enjoy longer workouts, it’s relatively easy—and unlike HIIT, it won’t leave you in a pool of sweat and muscleburning lactic acid.

Risk of overuse injuries Performing the same activity frequently and for long periods can cause overuse injuries such as tendonitis and even arthritis. However, you can reduce this risk by using a variety of exercise modalities, such as walking one day, cycling the next, and swimming the day after that. This will help distribute any stress instead of allowing it to accumulate in just one part of your body.

Because LISS is a very accessible form of exercise, it’s much easier to do regularly. After all, brisk walking is a form of LISS, and almost everyone can manage that. While some fitness experts say that LISS training is inefficient and not the best calorie burner, when it comes to making your workout sustainable, enjoyment and comfort are arguably more important than the number of calories you burn per minute. After all, it doesn’t matter how good HIIT is if you don’t enjoy it and skip more workouts than you complete.

Possible boredom You may find that exercising at the

same level of intensity for a long period of time leaves you feeling bored. Avoid this problem by working out with a friend or by listening to music, audiobooks, or a podcast. You could even make a phone call!

Ultimately, the best type of exercise is one that you can do regularly and actually look forward to. It could be that LISS is the workout you’ve been waiting for.

2020—volume 1

FITNESS

Fitness as a Motherhood

Must

Making fitness—and yourself—a priority words by Clarissa Bannor

WHEN FIRST LADY MICHELLE OBAMA MADE fitness her top campaign, I

surmised it was for selfish reasons and no one can convince me otherwise. To be the first Black woman serving as first lady in America meant immense pressure to represent herself, her people, and her office well. For eight years she lived out her life publicly, even the messy parts like motherhood. She did an excellent job, balancing the work and the pressure with grace and her own potent mix of vulnerable authenticity. And we loved her for it. Michelle could do no wrong in the collective book of Black women. Her mental acuity, poise, humbling side-eye, and ability to keep a cool head were no doubt made possible by her daily commitment to blowing off steam. Exercise was her superpower, and there was no way she was going to give that up. Her Let’s Move campaign was personal and necessary—a master class in Multitasking by Any Means Necessary.

RADIANT HEALTH № 15 The Motherhood Issue

FITNESS AS A MOTHERHOOD MUST

2020—volume 1

FITNESS

Many women in the throes of motherhood mistakenly sacrifice their own physical wellbeing for the mental and emotional priorities of family life—myself included. When I became a mom and started navigating my way through the foggy, uncertain haze of parenthood, things seemed to be going by relatively smoothly and quickly until the realization hit that the allconsuming fog of mothering lasts for years, not minutes. The only thing going by smooth and fast was my health. Mrs. Obama was onto something. I realize now that if I want to be the best version of myself and a good role model for my kids, I need to make a change. I need to be selfish and make the care and keeping of me a priority. A 2014 study conducted by the U.S. National Institutes of Health notes that physical activity typically declines as a woman transitions into motherhood because of factors including “family responsibilities, guilt, lack of support, scheduling constraints, and work.” It further describes this guilt as “unique to females due to deeply rooted cultural discourses about the ‘ethic of care’ (i.e., the notion that a mother’s primary role is to take care of others’ needs before her own.)” Black women have been putting others’ needs first for centuries. It’s part of our religion, this practice of self-sacrifice we preach regularly. It’s also detrimental to our health, not just physically but mentally and emotionally, because depression during motherhood is real. A study in the Journal of Women’s Health lists depressive symptoms as including “sad mood, loss of interest in activities, feelings of helplessness and hopelessness, decreased energy, decision-making difficulties, sleep problems, restlessness, irritability, changes in eating patterns, suicidal ideations or attempts, and persistent physical symptoms that do not respond to treatment.” The study also states that Black mothers and young mothers are more likely than white moms to suffer from these depressive symptoms. Embracing Fitness for Life Jay Ell Alexander is an authority on the importance and holistic benefits of regular exercise during motherhood. Jay Ell is both a new mom and the CEO of Black Girls Run!, a national organization that encourages Black women to make fitness and healthy living a priority.

FITNESS AS A MOTHERHOOD MUST

“As a new mom, I realized pretty quickly that motherhood came with a lot of hormones and responsibilities, and I needed the release that exercise provided.” “Physical activity is so important because it hits every facet of your body: mental, emotional, spiritual, and of course physical. It deals with every aspect of your being. Burning the calories, breaking a sweat, getting the heart pumping is all good for your energy levels and your physical health. In general, it’s a great stress reliever, which is good for mental health and helps you tune in spiritually too while you focus on you. As a new mom, I realized pretty quickly that motherhood came with a lot of hormones and responsibilities, and I needed the release that exercise provided.” Clearly, engaging in physical activity as an act of daily self-care isn’t just to look good on the outside; most of its benefits are invisible to the naked eye. However, for a majority of moms, the challenges to daily exercise can still seem insurmountable. Social media has made the art of the “snapback” a precarious one, in which women who’ve just had babies go through rigorous exercise and dieting regimens to get back to their pre-pregnancy size. If putting ourselves first and keeping up with regular exercise were easy, we would all be postpartum snapback queens. Jay Ell cites this hyper-visual snapback culture as an unrealistic fitness goal for any mom, let alone a new one. “As much as I love social media and media in general, I think it’s a double-edged sword. You see all these images of people working out, running, and snapbacking … people see photos on there and think, They did it—I can do it too. But we need to get away from that culture and just realize that getting back to normal and making this huge transition into motherhood is going to be a process.” Sojourner transparent jacket by Blac Noir

It turns out that maternal inactivity is directly tied to children’s activity and health levels too. Active moms equal active kids, which is key to reversing the worldwide trend of childhood obesity. A study done by the American Academy of Pediatrics showed that a mother’s exercise habits had a direct effect on her children: “The less physically active a mother is, the more likely her child will be sedentary early in life. There’s a direct correlation in physical activity levels among mothers and their children. A child engaged in more physical activity if their mother made exercise a higher priority.”

If my forever first lady, Michelle Obama, refused to let one of the hardest jobs on earth stand in the way of getting her move on and staying fit, then we can all take a page out of her life and refuse to let motherhood serve as a tired excuse for poor health in either ourselves or our children. Michelle taught us that exercise should be a constant in our lives, throughout motherhood and beyond, because staying fit isn’t selfish—it’s lifesaving.

2020—volume 1

FITNESS

RADIANT HEALTH № 15 The Motherhood Issue

MOM-FRIENDLY WORKOUTS—FROM CRADLE TO EMPTY NEST

MOM friendly WORKOUTS from Cradle to Empty Nest Making fitness a family affair words by Patrick Dale

MOMS ARE THE QUEENS of putting others before themselves,

and they often have very little time (or energy) for working out. But the irony is, regular exercise can help make you an even better mom. While it might not be easy, finding time to exercise will do both you and your child good (and the following benefits will be of special interest to moms).

2020—volume 1

FITNESS

More energy As strange as it may sound, the right type of exercise can actually increase your energy levels. Exercise builds a reserve of strength and endurance that will make looking after your child and doing all of your other daily chores much less tiring. Faster post-partum recovery Having a baby takes a lot out of your body. It stretches and weakens your abdominals and pelvic floor, wreaks havoc on your posture, and is usually associated with weight gain too. Exercise can help reverse some of the unwanted effects of pregnancy and get you back to feeling more like yourself again. Improved health Exercise is good for every aspect of your health, from controlling blood glucose to boosting your immune system to preventing postpregnancy issues such as sacroiliac and back pain. The fitter and healthier you are, the easier it will be to look after your baby. Increased self-care If you’re like many moms, you probably put the needs of others above your own. While you do still need to prioritize the welfare of your family, you shouldn’t ignore your own. Taking time out to exercise means doing something that you enjoy that does you good and makes you feel better about yourself. You might not have time to go to the spa and be pampered, but a short workout can boost your mood just as effectively.

A Mom’s Guide to Exercising If you were an avid exerciser before the birth of your child and exercised throughout your pregnancy, you should be able to restart your previous workout program anywhere from 6 to 12 weeks after giving birth. With your doctor’s approval, ease yourself gently back into exercise, doing those activities you previously enjoyed. Remember to take it easy at first—exercise takes a lot out of your body, as does childbirth and looking after your newborn. Avoid exhaustive exercise and remember that your energy levels may fluctuate due to lack of sleep. Listen to your body and adapt your workout according to how you feel.

If you are new to exercise, here are some mom-friendly workouts that will take you from cradle to empty nest. Note: It is important that new moms understand that exercise can mean more than just going to the gym, heading out for a jog, or attending a workout class. Anything that gets you up and moving counts as exercise, especially in the weeks and months after giving birth. Going to the gym will probably be impractical, but you shouldn’t feel bad because you can’t do the types of workouts you did before giving birth. Ultimately any physical activity will do you good. Even a walk or doing some gardening can be very beneficial. Look for ways to be more active, even if they aren’t exercise in the traditional sense.

WORKING OUT WITH BABIES AND INFANTS (NEWBORN TO 12 MONTHS)

Because babies are entirely dependent on the adults in their lives, you may need to be with them constantly. That could sound like a barrier to exercising, but it doesn’t have to be. The following are all good workouts for moms with babies. Put your baby in their cot and exercise quietly so as not to disturb them. You could even let them watch you, as babies are often fascinated by your every move. Yoga is an excellent type of exercise for moms, as it strengthens your core, improves flexibility, and involves no impact.

At-home yoga

You can do yoga anywhere you can lay a workout mat. Not sure where to start with post-natal yoga? The good news is there are lots of free videos available on YouTube, and you can also buy DVDs and books to guide you. As with any form of exercise at this stage, start slow and easy and do not overdo it. Little and often is better than a marathon session that leaves you exhausted. Baby calisthenics You can do a lot of different exercises with your baby in your arms. Squats are a good choice, and you can even lie down and do chest presses or crunches. As your baby grows, so too will your strength and fitness.

Here’s a simple workout you can do either with or around your newborn:

RADIANT HEALTH № 15 The Motherhood Issue

MOM-FRIENDLY WORKOUTS—FROM CRADLE TO EMPTY NEST

5 overhead presses

10 half-squats holding your baby in your arms

20-second plank with your baby on their changing mat in front of you

10 Romanian deadlifts with your baby in your arms

10 chest presses with your baby

10 sit-ups with your baby on your lap

*Repeat 2 to 3 times, depending on your energy level and your baby’s tolerance to being used as a workout tool!

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Home cardio If you’ve got the space, a home exercise bike, elliptical, or treadmill are all convenient options for exercising near your baby, who may even find the whirring sound of your exercise machine soothing.

Dance with your baby – If your baby is fussing—or even if they are not—pick them up and dance with them! This will strengthen your arms, core, and legs while working your heart and lungs, and it should help calm your child as well. Dancing with your baby is also a good bonding opportunity. To help get you started, here is our very own Spotify dance playlist at radianthealthmag.com/danceplaylist. Stroller walking or jogging – If the weather is warm (but not too hot), put your baby in a stroller and go for a walk or jog. Pushing them along will add an extra element of resistance to your workout. You could also go for a walk with your baby in a sling. Watch out for strong sunshine, as all that UV radiation can easily harm your baby’s skin. Strollers often have sunshades to prevent this problem. WORKING OUT WITH TODDLERS (1 TO 3 YEARS)

As your child becomes more mobile, you may find it harder to exercise because, invariably, they won’t want to stay still! But as the saying goes, “If you can’t beat them, join them.” Use their energy and desire to walk and run everywhere to your advantage. The following workout options are a good place to start. Have a dance party Put on your favorite music and bust some moves with your child by your side. Match each other step for step. They’ll probably enjoy it just as much as you do! Go for a walk Your child won’t be able to walk as far or

as fast as you, but that doesn’t mean walking is off the exercise menu. Head out for a stroll, but make sure you take your stroller with you so you can give them a lift when they start to tire.

WORKING OUT WITH PRESCHOOLERS (4 TO 5 YEARS)

Like toddlers, preschoolers are usually full of energy and want to run or skip everywhere. You’ll probably find yourself telling them to slow down several times each day. Make the most of this behavior by following their example. Good workouts for preschoolers include: Walking Having passed the toddler stage, your child

should now be able to walk a little farther. They’ll still get tired more quickly than an adult, so make sure you don’t go too far or too fast. Consider several short walks instead of one big one, or walk laps close to home so you can stop if they have had enough. Playing games Whether you go to a park or play in your backyard, games are a good way to exercise with your child and for them to have fun at the same time. Soccer, chase, frisbee, or even a simple obstacle course will provide both of you with an enjoyable workout. Remember to let them win—at least some of the time! Gyms with day care If your local gym offers day care,

take advantage of it. Your child will be kept safe and entertained, leaving you free to exercise for an hour or so. You’ll never be more than a few seconds from your little one, so both mother and child should be spared any separation anxiety.

Cycling Between 3 and 5 years of age might seem a

little young to learn how to ride a bike, but that doesn’t mean you can’t teach them to ride a tricycle or a bicycle equipped with training wheels. Walk or run alongside them to keep them safe and get a workout yourself.

WORKING OUT WITH SCHOOL-AGE KIDS (6 TO 12 YEARS)

perfect time to teach a child to swim. With no fear of water to overcome, they should pick up this essential life skill quickly and easily. Plus you’ll both get a good workout while keeping cool.

Once your child is older, you should get a little more alone time so you can exercise more freely. Now is the time to renew your gym membership or do some workouts at home knowing you’re less likely to be interrupted. You can also consider the following options for exercising with kids in this age group.

Work out with your friends If any of your friends have

Outdoor workouts Older children are usually quite

Try a mom and toddler swimming class This is the

children of a similar age, why not exercise together, taking turns to supervise and play with the kids. Cheaper than day care, this also provides you and your friends with an opportunity to have fun together. You could even do interval training, where the resting person is on

babysitting duty while the other parents work out.

capable of entertaining themselves, so you can fit in a short workout while they are playing at the park or participating in extracurricular activities after school. Jog around a nearby playing field or do a quick bodyweight workout—for example:

RADIANT HEALTH № 15 The Motherhood Issue

MOM-FRIENDLY WORKOUTS—FROM CRADLE TO EMPTY NEST

10 push-ups

15 reps bodyweight squats

30-second plank

10 lunges per leg

10 park bench triceps dips

15 crunches

Jog for five minutes

*Repeat 2 to 3 times, depending on your energy level and the length of your child’s activity.

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“For example, while doing baby calisthenics, your older child could mirror your workout but using a favorite stuffed animal, doll, or action figure instead.” More formalized sports At this age, kids often

start to develop an interest in sports. If they do, encourage them by participating right alongside them. This is an excellent opportunity for you to pass on any previous sporting expertise you may have or to learn a new sport with your child. Good options include: soccer, basketball, racquet sports, martial arts, and swimming. Don’t become one of “those moms” and push your child into a sport they don’t enjoy or heap pressure on them to compete. Doing so could put them off exercise for good. Instead, be encouraging and nurturing, but understand that they may change their minds about the sports or activities they enjoy. They might also lack aptitude for a certain sport and want to try something they are better at. WORKING OUT WITH TEENAGERS (13 TO 18 YEARS)

Teenagers are often capable of working out alongside their parents, especially in their mid and late teens. With their often boundless energy, they may even start to outpace you! At this age, don’t be surprised if your child prefers to exercise alone or has different interests. That’s part of growing up.

At this juncture, you may end up working out alone, but you may also find that you have a ready-made workout partner too. Here are some good workouts for moms with teenagers: Go to the gym together Whether you lift

weights or go to workout classes, this is a good time to introduce your child to the joys of healthy exercise. Because they are still developing, take care to teach them the right way to work out, because injuries at this age can have a lasting effect. Walk, hike, run, or cycle together Because they

are more developed and physically capable, kids of this age should be able to match you step for step. However, because they are still growing, avoid doing too much too soon as you could cause injury. Remember to move at the pace of the slowest person—it’s no fun being left behind. (That advice is for you initially, but as your child reaches their mid and late teens, you may need to share it with them too!) Start a new sport together If your child expresses an interest in a new sport, such as tennis, kayaking, running, or dance, why not start it with them? This will be a good bonding experience, and you will be able to support and encourage one another. You may also be able to act as their coach.

RADIANT HEALTH № 15 The Motherhood Issue

MOM-FRIENDLY WORKOUTS—FROM CRADLE TO EMPTY NEST

Getting Your Partner and Other Children Involved It’s not just moms who need to exercise with their children—partners should get involved too. Not only will this take some of the pressure off busy, tired moms, but it will also help reinforce family bonds. Why not take turns with your partner and exercise with your child on alternate days? All of the workout options outlined above are suitable for both partners, but it may be smart to adopt different activities for each adult in order to prevent overlaps and repetition that could lead to boredom and complaints (“But Daddy, I did this yesterday with Mommy”). You could also work out together as a family, taking turns between exercising and then resting and supervising your child—consider it a form of interval training. For example: »

Partner One – Skip rope for two minutes.

Partner Two – While supervising child, bodyweight exercise for one minute then rest for one minute.

Switch and repeat nine more times. The entire exercise will take 20 minutes from start to finish and give each partner a total of 15 active minutes and five rest minutes.

Exercising with children can get more complicated when you have more than one, especially if they differ much in age. While baby calisthenics are more than appropriate with a newborn, you won’t want to try them with a teenager! In this case, you’ll need to pay more attention to your baby while supervising your older child

from a safe distance. For example, you could all go to the park and be active in the same area but doing different things. Walking is another good activity that you can do with two or more children at once, always remembering to go at the pace of the slowest member of your group and being ready to pick up and carry if necessary. As a rule, the needs of your youngest child will dictate the type of workout you can do, as they require the most attention. Look for ways to modify what you are doing so your older child can join in too. For example, while doing baby calisthenics, your older child could mirror your workout but using a favorite stuffed animal, doll, or action figure instead. Finally, consider ways you can encourage your older child to help with your baby while you exercise on your own close by. Fit for Life Becoming a mother is a life-changing event, but that doesn’t mean you have to give up exercising for the rest of your life. In fact, with some planning and adaption, you should be able to work out through most of your pregnancy and then start again soon after—with your doctor’s approval, of course. Being fit and healthy isn’t just important for you, but will also benefit and set a good example for your child. You’ll find it easier to keep up with them, you will have more energy, and your mood will be much improved. Most important, you’ll be around for them longer because exercise has the potential to increase longevity. A lot of women give up on exercise once they become moms. Don’t be one of them! Exercise and motherhood are very compatible, whatever age your child may be.

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photo by Ricky Cordio 72

RADIANT HEALTH № 15 The Motherhood Issue

ANOWA ADJAH

Champion of Curve Appeal words by Nikki Igbo

WHEN ANOWA ADJAH first broke onto

the fitness scene in 2010 at 5-foot-10 and 200 pounds, she was exactly the bold statement that needed to be made in the exercise industry. The New Jerseyan Temple University alum not only revolutionized the look of fitness— she also jump-started a much-needed conversation on an issue that far too many mothers experience but far too few discuss. Radiant had the opportunity to chat with the voluptuous, healthconscious mother of two to further the exchange on curvy fitness, postpregnancy training, motherhood, and self-acceptance.

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A Post-Pregnancy Fitness Trainer Who Gets It There are some women who naturally enjoy a poochless, stretchmark-free post-pregnancy experience, and then there are the rest of us—moms who employ exercise, surgery, or the art of optical illusion to get their sexy back. If we choose exercise, we often turn to personal training experts like Anowa Adjah to help us help ourselves. We purchase workout DVDs and try to come up with both the schedule and the will to watch and perform while juggling the demands of motherhood and life. That’s why we find it particularly refreshing when fitness experts like Anowa are forthcoming about their own pregnancy and fitness challenges. “My pregnancy was not the ideal,” Anowa confided. “I was pregnant with twins and it was considered high risk. I really didn’t get to relax as much as I would have liked. I had to be closely monitored and everything.” Twin births account for 32.6 of every 1,000 live births, according to 2018 data from the National Center for Health Statistics, and present several risks for both moms and babies. For moms, the risks include pregnancy-induced hypertension, preeclampsia, gestational diabetes, gastrointestinal issues, and cesarean section. For babies, the primary risk is being born prematurely, which can lead to improper organ and nervous system development, feeding issues, chronic and general respiratory issues, and learning disabilities and delays.

accommodate her growing uterus. However, the linea alba can become so taxed that it loses its elasticity and simply won’t return to how it was before pregnancy. This condition, which affects 60% of moms, along with the pressure of carrying two babies set the stage for Anowa’s umbilical hernia. An umbilical hernia is when either body fat or part of the intestine pushes through a weak opening in the area just below the belly button. “To carry those babies for so long ... I was very lucky,” Anowa sighed, then shared the distressing story of how she’d gone on to experience a cesarean section at 39 weeks of pregnancy. Still, she expressed her appreciation and relief at having birthed two completely healthy boys. She also recognized how pregnancy had changed her view of and approach to fitness coaching. “A lot of personal trainers try their best through science, through research and education, to empathize with women after pregnancy. But there is really no way to understand what a woman goes through unless you go through it yourself.” As Anowa learned more about diastasis recti and its prevalence and treatment options, she was even more inspired to speak honestly about her own trials. “Certain issues that happen post-pregnancy cannot be rectified just through exercise,” she explained. “Sometimes surgery is

“My mother was a gym rat and so she was the During her pregnancy, Anowa focused on practicing good prenatal care to carry her babies to full term. one who introduced me This meant eating properly for three, remaining well hydrated, and trading her normal intense training regimen for walking and yoga as her pregnancy to fitness.” progressed. Throughout her pregnancy journey, she shared details with her fitness audience, including the constant exhaustion she battled, her food cravings, the additional 75 pounds she gained, and the rigor of accepting her ever-changing body.

“It took a toll on my body, and that’s the reality. My abdominal muscles just bled. I developed diastasis recti and I ended up with an umbilical hernia. I was eight months pregnant, getting a checkup. I sneezed, and all of a sudden—pain. And that was basically what created the hernia.” Diastasis recti is the fancy name for what we’ve all come to know as “mommy pooch.” It is the condition in which the left and right abdominal muscles separate due to a hormone-induced thinning of the linea alba or connective tissue between the muscle groups. Such thinning allows a pregnant woman’s abdominal area to

necessary. You can use exercise to reach a certain point. Some of your body will tighten, some will not.” Anowa knew this truth firsthand. When her umbilical hernia caused her to experience severe chronic pain, she opted to have reparative surgery.

“Everything else, I’ve done through training. I started to experiment with strategies to help rectify and improve my abdominal situation in addition to what doctors were telling me. My diastasis recti recovery program has been helpful to a lot of women. The problem with diastasis recti abdominal separation is that if you don’t know how to properly treat the condition, you can worsen it. You have to train those abdominal muscles internally and stay away from exercises that can exacerbate the condition. You can lose all the weight in the world, but you will still have that abdominal separation because the issue is not the weight but rather the muscles.”

RADIANT HEALTH № 15 The Motherhood Issue

ANOWA ADJAH

photo by Aderon Mothersill

Anowa went on to note the importance of avoiding crunches, planks, and twists when rebuilding core muscles to remedy diastasis recti. Her program is designed to help moms rebuild their core without inflicting more harm, and includes a 30-day training schedule, a nutritional plan, and an online support group. Still, Anowa repeatedly emphasized that everyone’s experience with the condition is different and may require different solutions, including surgery— which is perfectly fine. “It’s so important to be transparent and honest, especially with the explosion of social media. There are so many women who have gotten surgery—and there is nothing wrong with it—but they are also promoting fitness programs. Their audience believes they could look the same way if they practice the same regimen. But the people pushing the program didn’t even do [their program] to get those results. It’s very important for me to be honest and authentic about the kind of results that can be achieved with these exercises.” Again, refreshing. Which is exactly why Anowa’s social media sites and fitness DVDs have enjoyed such popularity. Gaining that acceptance, however, came with its own set of challenges. Not the Only In-Shape Curvy Girl

While matriculating at Temple University, Anowa and her ongoing commitment to fitness, training, and dance did not go unnoticed. She often received compliments on her fit, toned physique and was constantly asked what she did to stay in shape.

As an adolescent, there was no way Anowa could have known that she’d be an important player in the body acceptance movement. At age 12, Anowa already stood at 5-foot-7 with a figure that was clearly different from those of her classmates, peers, and family members. Feeling as conspicuous as the “Still, there wasn’t anyone in the media who looked like proverbial sore thumb, she struggled with the way she was me, and I didn’t understand that,” she reflected. There’s a certain comfort that comes with shared experience. It’s the perceived and how she perceived herself. warmth of knowing you’re not alone and the embrace of “Growing up, there weren’t a lot of women outside of sports being understood. That’s what Anowa wanted. who were shaped like me. Outside of Serena Williams, there was no one. I always felt like something was wrong After receiving her degree in public relations, Anowa with me,” Anowa recalled. But fitness, a habit gifted by her set out to be the representation she herself wanted. She earned her fitness certification and pursued a career in athletic mother, provided the support she needed. fitness modeling, submitting her portfolio to agencies and “My mother was a gym rat and so she was the one who trying over and again to break into the industry. However, introduced me to fitness. Everybody in my family, my agencies repeatedly told her that she did not have the right brother and my sisters, were all quite accomplished athletes. look or needed to lose weight. It became a way of life for me. Athletics became my safe space and where I felt like I belonged. Outside of that, I just “It became really alarming for me. How was that even felt very awkward compared to my colleagues and classmates. possible? I was a Division I athlete. I had been in shape all of my life.” They didn’t look anything like me, even colorwise.”

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For a while, Anowa struggled to adhere to a standard that simply did not make sense for her body. “I tried to lose weight. Then I gained weight to soften up my curves, thinking that maybe if I were a lot thicker ... I was trying to fit into what was considered normal at the time.” Still, Anowa persisted, managing to snag exposure in natural beauty expositions and other publications before seizing her own destiny and posting what would prove to be a radical statement on YouTube. In her video, Anowa stood on a scale and showed the world that she was 200 pounds and in shape. She was living proof that curves and fitness aren’t anathema to each other and confirmation that fitness looks different on different people. Of course, the video went viral. Anowa’s body is on point! Still, after so many years of hearing otherwise, the relatability of her post came as a shock. “I had no idea it was going to be so well received. I just got tired of trying to fit in with everybody else and I got tired of the media dictating to me what fitness was. I knew I wasn’t the only curvy girl in shape.” Anowa received thousands of letters and emails from people thanking her for epitomizing the shared experience they needed and desired. “They wanted to know what I did to stay in shape and it made them feel safe. I looked like them and they knew that if I could do it then they could do it too.” That YouTube experience sparked the idea of creating workout DVDs—the first of which featured one woman who was nearly 300 pounds and another who weighed about 420.

photo by Anowa Adjah

“I raised the money, released the video, and that’s all she wrote.” Having worked as a certified personal trainer and group instructor, Anowa possessed an arsenal of routines and programs she’d personally tried and professionally crafted for her clients. Along the way, she remained attentive to her clients and was inspired to address their individual fitness objectives. The programs she developed were not about conforming to a one-size-fits-all ideal. “I incorporated what worked for me for my clients who were from all walks of life. They weren’t just curvy women. Some were smaller. Some white, some Black. So many women have

ANOWA ADJAH

similar desires—to achieve bigger legs, get rid of cellulite, develop a bigger butt. Based on outcomes obtained from each particular client, I was able to craft specific programs to get certain results.” Anowa currently offers seven online fitness programs (including the 21-Day Lose the Gutt, Keep the Butt challenge) in addition to three workout DVDs, two of which were recorded while Anowa was four months pregnant. When Life Throws You a Curve

want to slow down and face what you have going on.’ He could have just shot me then because it was so true. He told me that my life will never be the same but it’s okay. I had an idea of what my life was supposed to look like and I was having a hard time accepting that it was nothing like what I imagined, but it’s okay. My sons have made me a well-rounded, stronger human being.” Yeah, kids will definitely do that and it’s such a wonderful thing.

“Oh, I love it,” Anowa gushed. “It’s a lot of work some days. I have always been an overachiever and a perfectionist, but this has been the most humanizing thing I’ve ever experienced. Motherhood is not supposed to be perfect and it really normalized a lot of things for me. I absolutely love having these two little human beings that I love and who love me unconditionally. It’s so good to be able to look “I wasn’t supposed to be pregnant,” she admitted. at them and want them to be better than who I am, “But this is how life throws a curveball. I had already and to teach them and provide for them a way to raised the money from fans, supporters, friends, and be great people. It’s a such a liberating, beautiful family. I had made the promise and I still needed to experience. It’s just one of the most rewarding put out those DVDs.” So she remained hush-hush experiences I’ve ever had.” about her condition during those tapings. From there, we gabbed about the challenge of “I think at that time I was a little embarrassed homeschooling while juggling work. We laughed because, you know, I didn’t expect it to happen. Like about the joys of raising two boys and what they didn’t pay for a pregnant woman to be doing tickled us about their different personalities. We these exercises, but it ended up being just really touched on dating, maintaining a personal life, and groundbreaking on our end because, of course, I responding to a son’s desire to have a man in the was pregnant with my twins.” house. And when I asked about tips on fitness for moms, Anowa shared a bit of wisdom on giving Life is like that—which we can all attest to, given ourselves the gift of grace. the events of 2020. We can make all the plans we want based on how we expect things to happen, yet “Be kind to yourself. A lot of us have these life decides otherwise. Anowa and I also exchanged expectations of what we should look like. We think plenty of notes on how we came to be single mothers. we need to look how we looked before motherhood. That whole mindset will take you down a very “People feel like they can judge a single mom. In ugly road. We need to understand that our bodies my mind, I never wrote out that I was going to be have undergone significant trauma. It’s a beautiful a single mom. I tried to do things the ‘right’ way. I’d experience, but we were carrying another human known him since I was 18, been with him for six years, being for nine months. And you have to give your and we were going to be together. And it just didn’t body time to acclimate. happen that way at all. I remember going to therapy. Everyone was just concerned with me because I was “Don’t let someone else’s story be your story. Your just quiet. I was just trying to survive. It’s not easy, story is the story that works for you. You’ve got to having a baby for the first time—and I had two of pace yourself. Do what you can, when you can. It’s them. I was going through a bad breakup. My doctors about getting it done when you can get it done and recommended that I talk to someone. setting realistic expectations for yourself.” As Anowa continued to speak plainly about her motherhood journey, she noted that recording a fitness DVD while four months pregnant had definitely not been her original intent. When she’d initially recorded, the first shoot had not yielded the material necessary to move forward with production.

“One of the first things my therapist said to me was, ‘You like to move really quickly because you don’t

To learn more about Anowa Adjah and the various fitness programs she offers, visit anowaadjah.com.

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03 SECTION

FEATURES page 80.

ON PARENTING BLACK BOYS The making of tomorrow's men page 86.

ON PARENTING BLACK GIRLS Sowing strength = growing integrity page 92.

THIS IS MY ABORTION STORY Transcending judgement, finding grace page 98.

ABORTION MYTHS VS FACTS Replacing fear with facts

FEATURES

RADIANT HEALTH № 15 The Motherhood Issue

KESHA CLINKSCALE ON PARENTING BLACK BOYS

Kesha Clinkscale on parenting bl ack boys words by Nikki Igbo

“Remember there in school one day I learned I was inferior ...” —Erykah Badu from song ... & On

I covet for my sons— wisdom, emotional intelligence, kindheartedness, strength, joy, perseverance—I want most for my baby boys to have and know better. The “better” I want to give my sons is the exquisite luxury of knowing exactly who they are and what they are capable of before America tells them otherwise. OF ALL THE THINGS

“Black people are descendants of the cursed son of Noah and forever doomed to be the permanent servant class,” said the third-grade textbook at the private Christian grade school I attended. “Black people are stupid, lazy, criminally minded, and morally bankrupt—but they sure can sing and dance,” said the many cartoons, television shows, movies, and news broadcasts I grew up watching. “Black people have to work twice as hard to get half as much,” said my mother.

My children’s father had not been exposed to this constant onslaught of negative messaging. He’d spent his formative years in Nigeria, where he received an invaluable foundation that told him a different story of who he was and what his dark skin meant. He knew his mother tongue and the name and history of his greatgrandfather’s father. He practiced the customs, values, and traditions unique to his people. He had been surrounded by others who looked like him and pursued every interest without fear. And because he knew himself and his source, he was better equipped to navigate the racial peculiarities of America with a certain ease that I had to fight to cultivate within myself. I want this integral head start for my boys, this cultural cradle in which their father was rocked, and I’m trying to create it for them here in America. Luckily, I’m not alone in this endeavor.

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Where There’s a Will

commented to Kesha how he would make a perfect student for her etiquette school.

For years my editor-in-chief and fellow #boymom Dr. Nnenna Makanjuola has been talking about “I asked her where her etiquette school was, because Young Gents, Inc., a program her sons belonged to we needed to be a part of that,” Kesha shared. “We that “fully equips boys of color to audaciously lead weren’t etiquette experts. We never learned the in every aspect of their lives.” Hence, I was eager difference between forks and all of that stuff. We to meet the program’s founder, Kesha Clinkscale, picked it up as we went along.” Kesha wanted to and was delighted to make her acquaintance at a add etiquette to her son’s social toolbox. local café one afternoon in early 2020. According to a 2014 report by the Harvard Business We greeted each other with a warm embrace Review, “Etiquette, after all, is just a code of conduct and ended up chatting like college roommates that allows us to live and work together with relative until the café closed for the night. Kesha hails ease, fosters good relationships, and reduces the

“The study found that when students learned from teachers who looked like them, they...found the subject matter more interesting, and felt more confident in communicating with their teachers.” from New Orleans, a city I’ve come to regard as a second home. We swapped our respective stories—her background in Africa and African diasporan studies, sports medicine, and public administration, and my roots in political science, writing, and global Black history. We shared an urgency and a devotion to preparing our sons for success in America and understood just how key self-image is to that success. Kesha began cultivating her son Connor’s image of himself at birth by dressing him, even as an infant, like a gentleman. “I always say, you get people’s attention by what they see,” she explained. “When you dress a certain way, you behave a certain way. You keep their attention by what you say.” Kesha and her husband had also taught their son politeness and the ability to strike up a pleasant conversation with a stranger. It was Connor’s mastery of these lessons that led to Kesha’s introduction to Tatia Adams Fox, the founder and president of the New School of Etiquette. As they all stood in line together to procure tickets for an annual Easter event at the White House, Tatia had been so impressed with Connor’s appearance and charm that she

social frictions that impede our happiness and even our professional success.” Tatia’s school was located in New Jersey, however, whereas Kesha and her family lived in Atlanta. Though Tatia offered to refer other etiquette instructors her way, Kesha felt that the identity of the instructor was just as important as the instruction itself. “I’d found that the people who did Tatia’s work didn’t look like me,” noted Kesha. “I don’t want my son to get accustomed to taking direction on how to behave from people who don’t look like us. It’s important because he needs to see people that look like him doing extraordinary things that most people think we don’t do. They can’t just be people in magazines. It has to be people he can pick up the phone and Skype with.” With the establishment of a new branch of Tatia’s school in Savannah, Georgia, Kesha was able to work out the learning opportunity she wanted for her son. While Tatia didn’t specifically offer instructional services in Atlanta, she agreed to teach a group of boys each month during the course of the school year. Tasked with assembling that group of boys, Kesha approached fellow moms at her son’s school, her church, and within

KESHA CLINKSCALE ON PARENTING BLACK BOYS

her professional network to bring together nine Black boys, and Young Gents was born. Motho Ke Motho Ka Batho Babang

images of the boys, who ranged in age from 6 to 12 years, knowing that I wanted the same for my own 3- and 5-year-old sons.

“These teachings are so important,” I said. During that first meeting, while Tatia was instructing the boys, the parents gathered separately “Yes,” Kesha agreed, “and they need to hear it and to socialize and share perspectives on what they learn it from men who look like them.” envisioned for equipping and empowering their sons in the current American landscape. Although In a 2010-2011 study conducted by the Measures there was a level of uncertainty about proper of Effective Teaching (MET) project, with funding strategies to take, hope propelled them forward from the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation, in discussing and proposing ideas to move toward researchers surveyed 80,000 American public successful outcomes for their boys. school students in grades four through eight across six different states. As students shared information They determined that participation by dads in on how well their teachers led the classroom, particular would be an integral aspect of the boys’ researchers took particular note of how Black, ongoing tutelage, starting with the simple lesson of the white, and Hispanic students rated teachers who dads teaching the boys how to properly tie a necktie. looked like them. “Something in those dads’ minds was like—Yes!” Kesha recalled. “They shared how they had not learned to tie a tie until they were grown men in college or trying to get ready for an interview.” This single revelation proved an important catalyst for things to come. After learning all of the fathers’ professions and getting input from the mothers, Kesha created a curriculum for the boys to follow in addition to their etiquette lessons. “The first session was Tatia teaching how to make a first impression—eye contact, how to give a proper handshake, how to properly introduce yourself. Then the next month, the menfolk came together and showed the boys how to put their best foot forward and talked to them about the importance of dressing a certain way. A tailor who is a friend of my husband’s taught the boys what it means to dress as a Black man.” These lessons in the importance of making an excellent first impression were part of a professional series of twice-monthly sessions. The first two hours focused on etiquette lessons, after which the young men had the opportunity to demonstrate for their parents what they had learned. The remaining block of time featured life lessons presented by men who volunteered their time to discuss the details of their various professions. As Kesha shared more about the different lessons the boys learned throughout that initial year of monthly meetings, she flipped through pages of a yearbook she’d created. I looked on, smiling at the

The study found that when students learned from teachers who looked like them, they felt “more cared for,” found the subject matter more interesting, and felt more confident in communicating with their teachers. The students also showed a desire to be more engaged and to perform at a higher level, and were more interested in attending college. The Young Gents parents were so impressed with what they and their children experienced in the first year of the program that they insisted on keeping the momentum going for another year. The proof was in the children themselves. One child overcame his stage fright and was tapped by his teacher to give a special presentation to his classmates. Another child, upon learning how to tie a necktie, insisted on wearing a tie to school every day. Kesha’s own son took the time to properly set his table even when grabbing a bite at a fast food restaurant. Answering the call to keep the program up and running, Kesha established a “village” environment in which parents could offer more input, a more formalized structure with a central theme for the year’s activities, and a year-end experiential trip to fully encapsulate the overall theme of that year. The second year was centered around the theme of finance and involved lessons on money, the economy, and how the stock market operates. The students’ year of finance education culminated in a visit to the New York Stock Exchange, where the boys met with Black executives at major financial institutions

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KESHA CLINKSCALE ON PARENTING BLACK BOYS

and performed live million-dollar trades. These were all unforgettable experiences and educational moments lovingly guided by people who looked just like them. Life lessons and those who teach those lessons are vital to a child’s trajectory. As the Sesotho adage goes, “A person is a person because of other people.” Normalizing Black Excellence

with Santa and rooftop ice skating at the St. Regis Hotel in Buckhead. They’ve traveled to New York and enjoyed front-row seats at a Broadway production of The Lion King, along with a private meet-and-greet with cast members, and they have had the honor of meeting a living legend of the American Civil Rights Movement at the National Center for Civil and Human Rights in Atlanta. These various outings, events, functions, and experiences have repeatedly reinforced the notion that these boys indeed have the access and the right to excellence, both in themselves and in the world around them.

The art of conversation. The proper way to set a table. The difference between a doctor with an MD and a doctor with a Ph.D. What it means to command an audience. What to do in an encounter with a member of law “It’s shown our sons that they don’t have to conform,” enforcement. How to develop the ideal pitch to launch Kesha said, smiling. “I tell my son all the time, you lead a business. The importance of good money management. even if no one else follows you. Even if they don’t follow How to navigate this world as a Black professional. The you, they’re watching you—so lead.” boys absorbed all of this invaluable guidance during the first and second years of the program. Young Gents is about cultivating a sense of leadership in the minds of its students by making the extraordinary a The theme of the third year was technology, and the boys normal occurrence in their lives. While this may seem like an met with Black technology professionals who taught them expensive feat, it is a worthwhile investment made possible by about the ever-evolving world of technology as well as careful planning, budgeting, networking, and the very simple the concept of digital citizenship. That year finished with act of seeking out and leveraging the very real connections tours of Google, EA Sports, and NASA in California’s with excellence that exist in our collective communities. Silicon Valley. “It’s about giving our sons access. It’s about giving our sons The theme for the Young Gents 2019-2020 program is the courage to be different. It’s normalizing excellence. politics. While the coronavirus has derailed some of the It’s about exposing our sons to interests and experiences boys’ planned activities—they had been scheduled to that most people think are supposed to be beyond their travel to Washington, D.C., to visit the Benjamin Banneker reach,” Kesha explained. Historical Park and Museum and the National Museum of African American History and Culture—they were In addition to getting exposure to Black excellence from their able to meet former U.S. President Jimmy Carter prior to instructors, parents, and other adult members of the Young the pandemic’s onset. Now, in addition to holding Zoom Gents’ village, the boys also have the opportunity to learn sessions on current political topics ranging from the U.S. excellence from and recognize it within their peers. census to managing investments throughout COVID-19, the boys are slated to lead a safe, peaceful demonstration “One of the kids is an expert in Taekwondo. Another is an in support of #BlackLivesMatter. expert in playing the trumpet. Another plays the violin. My son flies airplanes. They all do these things that most people The boys have gained these opportunities and more, all consider out of their reach. But this is their normal.” in what was originally meant to be a brief foray into etiquette lessons. Now in its fourth year, and with an That’s just it right there. increasing number of participants, Young Gents has become a fully immersive educational experience and For Black boys, Black men, and all Black people of African community support system with satellite programs in descent in America, stereotypes of ignorance, criminality, Northern California and Tennessee. poverty, underachievement, poor health, and overall social dysfunction are the norm. But Kesha, the fellow Young What began with plastic cutlery at dining etiquette Gents parents, and myself—we all know better. And our meetings held in a space donated by Kesha’s church has mission is to make sure that our sons know better too. developed into monthly etiquette dinners at a formal dining room in Atlanta’s swanky Commerce Club. During To learn more about Young Gents, Inc., visit the Christmas holidays, the boys each experience tea younggentsinc.com.

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Lasting Gifts We Give Our Girls words by Clarissa Bannor

To Give a Most Important Gift Black excellence, at its core, is a mindset predicated on significant achievement that paves the way for others in the community. Like most millennial moms, I aim to be intentional about what I impart to my daughters. There is so much about themselves, their heritage, and our legacy they need to know, and I intend to show them. In the words of Zimbabwean author and neurosurgeon J. Nozipo Maraire in her first novel, Zenzele, “How could I allow you to grow up reading Greek classics, and watch

you devour The Merchant of Venice and Romeo and Juliet, yet be ignorant of the lyrical, the romantic, and the tragic that have shaped us as Africans?” That question resonated with me. I was pregnant with my first child when I read Zenzele; its poignancy has stuck with me ever since. Up until that point, I was content chugging along the lanes of marriage and career-building, living a life heavy with American values. But there’s nothing like impending parenthood to make you start reflecting on your life and wanting to

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instill the expectation and pursuit of excellence in your children. Maraire’s words set me on a path of fervent self-discovery. I devoured African literary classics by Buchi Emecheta, Ama Ataa Aidoo, and Mariama Ba, which naturally led me to finding myself on the pages of contemporary literary greats like Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Yaa Gyasi, and Tayie Selasi. Literature is important to me. It gave me the language to express my bicultural identity of being “Afropolitan,” as Tayie Selasie described it in her debut novel, Ghana Must Go— an experience of being an African with roots all over the world. There are other terms for the same concept: Afrodiasporan, Afropean, Child of the Diaspora, African-descended, AfricanAmerican, Black. But the idea remains the same—the knowledge that we are African before we are anything else. And though we’ve sown seeds around the globe, we are deeply connected by a shared culture full of extraordinary people, experiences, movements, and achievements that make up an amazing legacy. A gift worth passing down to our children.

Knowledge of history and heritage are key to self-discovery and a fundamental building block of our self-worth. According to Ibrahim Wazuiri, co-creator of the children’s animated television series Bino & Fino, “If children in America are taught from the get-go that the genesis point for them is slavery or colonialism, or to a greater extent if children in the diaspora are taught about the contributions of different civilizations and not given accurate or complete information about African civilizations—or worse, taught that Africa is a place where there are just animals—

“I want my girls to be comfortable in their own skin, in their own power, and wherever they find themselves.”

An Origin Story, a Base, a Starting Point Toni Morrison, James Baldwin, Maya Angelou, and Zora Neale Hurston are some of my favorite writers in the American literary canon, but I had no exposure to their work until I got to college. Which is why I believe it took me so long to make connections and find my voice as a Black woman. If I’d had knowledge of and exposure to these prolific Black thinkers and writers at a younger age, I’d have been who I am much earlier in life and would have spent less time confused about my identity and my worth. Determined not to let my daughters suffer the same fate, I chose to homeschool them. I even designed an impressive African-centered curriculum to use. In my mind, homeschooling was my best chance of feeding my beautiful brown girls’ minds with the good stuff, a diet heavy with examples of Black excellence that hopefully would inoculate them against cultural whitewashing.

then you have these educational gaps that create this negative starting point for Black kids. All great people or great civilizations have to have an origin story, a base, a starting point.” Thankfully, kids growing up in this technological era have culture and history at their fingertips, which is a good thing. Online resources became a natural element of our homeschooling process. When I think about my goals for my kids in the context of Black excellence, Kelly Britton of the Harvard Debate Council Diversity Project nailed it when she said, “We have a responsibility to know who we are and how to articulate who we are in all spaces.” I want my girls to be comfortable in their own skin, in their own power, and wherever they find themselves. But before they can stand tall on the shoulders of people who came before them, they first need to know who those people are. The confidence they need to navigate the world authentically as Black women stems from a sense of ownership of the cultural contributions that paved the way for their own achievements. Virtual spaces on social media give our kids room to explore and be “Black out loud,” as Britton says, describing the many ways young people unapologetically create, express, and relate to

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ON PARENTING BLACK GIRLS

one another online, often using memes and gifs with shared cultural references and experiences to communicate. This freedom can be attributed to a general sense of cultural ownership which gives us taglines like “for the culture.” However, this technological freedom and ability to expand and share our culture with the world comes with a dose of caution to ensure future generations aren’t stripped of ownership. Shaleah Sutton is the founder of the Philadelphia-based Uniquely You Summit, a two-day forum created to open a dialogue on what it means to be a Black girl in America. As a parent, Sutton is concerned with how social media threatens cultural ownership: “Nowadays, in the era of ‘alternative facts’ and the ongoing war against the ‘culture vultures,’ it’s so important to encourage and equip young people with history and heritage. If we’re not purposefully equipping our kids with information on our history and heritage on an ongoing basis, then our kids are in trouble, because they’ll have no clue as to what is factual and what is not. I’ve heard my kids [erroneously] give credit to [other] people for things long-rooted in Black history and culture. Too often when things go viral on social media, it does so without the proper credit to the person or culture who created it. This creates the bigger problem of robbing Black youth of the idea that they have ownership in their Blackness. Ownership is a key component in raising children who later become adults who understand their value, creativity, and cultural contributions, which allows them to exist confidently in any space.” Sutton founded the annual forum as a safe space for Black girls between the ages of 11 and 18 to discuss “the complexities of being Black and female in America, while helping Black girls uniquely define, discover, and become who they are.” This is done through exploration and peer discussion about important issues unique to Black girls, including individuality, agency, intersectionality, colorism, miseducation in history, sisterhood, and celebration. “I think one of the most impactful things we can do as a community of different generations is to talk,” explains Sutton. “Expressive and respectful intergenerational conversations can be so healing.

I think for Black families it’s uncomfortable to have vulnerable parent-child conversations. It’s uncomfortable for Black parents to be wrong. I don’t want my children to always see me as the authority or to see me as completely the model, but to see my humanness. Because before I’m a mom, or a leader, or a sister, or anything else, I’m a human being.” Black Excellence Is Who We Are Through our homeschooling journey together, my daughters and I have had plenty of opportunities to talk about and learn from history. We’ve made connections online and in person with family members back home in Ghana and people in the diaspora who enrich our lives and help us draw parallels from our shared experiences. From stories we’ve read in history books to stories of little-known Black heroes we’ve come across on social media, it’s evident the same thread of courage, creativity, resourcefulness, and resilience runs deeply through all of us. And though we all contribute to the culture in our own unique ways, there are a few things parents can do to help spark the little light of excellence in Black children. My daughters are blooming beautifully now. One’s 10 and the other’s 7. This year, for fourth grade, my eldest wanted to try public school. I cringed at the thought. There’s still so much work to do, so many things she ought to know. I freak out at the notion of putting her in an environment that will put her in a box, that won’t affirm her beauty or her identity. I concern myself with thoughts of bullies, white supremacy, racism, the insidious way public schools dumb down and pick on Black children. But then I examine my thoughts more closely and I realize Black excellence doesn’t come from a sheltered and comfortable existence. It comes from having the tools to confidently tap into our worth, resourcefulness, vulnerability, resolve, intelligence, creativity, and self-expression to overcome challenges. The path to Black excellence isn’t formulaic. It’s who we are. It’s the adversity we face, the struggles we champion, the beauty we create. It’s the way we laugh through our pain and resist with our innate joie de vivre.

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THIS IS MY ABORTION STORY

This is my abortion story. TRANSCENDING JUDGEMENT, FINDING GRACE

words by Nikki Igbo

MY NAME IS NIKKI. I'm the mother of two bright, beautiful,

healthy, energetic sons. Twenty-five years ago, I had an abortion.

I’d become pregnant by my boyfriend just before leaving for my freshmen year of college, but I didn’t know it at the time. We’d practiced safer sex—making sure to read and follow the directions on the condom box. I’d gotten my period for the next two months without fail. Time marched forward into a move to New Orleans, a summer academic honors program, and freshmen orientation. Then I began having all kinds of digestive issues. First constipation and then the runs. I could not sleep enough. Food tasted odd. I called my sister to explain my troubles and paused in shock when she advised me to take a pregnancy test. I recall sneaking my purchase from K&B Drugs back to the dormitory toilets, taking the test, putting the stick in my cardigan pocket, washing my hands, and then burying the empty box at the bottom of the trash can before going to my dorm room to take a nap. I woke up an hour later willing myself to just have some sort of strange flu. When I pulled the test from my sweater pocket, it confirmed that I was pregnant. I sat there on my bed and cried alone in silence. Then I called my boyfriend. “I just took a pregnancy test and I’m pregnant,” I said without bothering to say hello.

“Then you’re coming back to California, right?” That was definitely not the response I expected. Many of the things he revealed during that call came as a surprise to me. I learned that people do strange things in the name of what they think is love. Sometimes strange, lifealtering things involving stick pins and condom wrappers. I also learned that we did not want the same things for or from each other. I was not interested in raising any child in a home that would be filled with more discord than affection. Life would already be difficult enough. I knew well before that call that I was not ready for motherhood. I didn’t even know quite who I was yet. What did I possibly have to offer to a baby? Not nearly enough, I thought. I did not want to ruin a child’s life with my inadequacies. I knew that I would regard motherhood as an apt punishment for my premarital sex sins, but the main recipient of that punishment would be an innocent baby. I did not want to resent a child for nothing more than being born. I did not want to resent my child’s father. I did not want to resent myself. I’d thought about these things all throughout junior high and high school as classmate after classmate became pregnant. I’d witnessed them hiding their pregnancies under puffy jackets even in the heat of the California sun. I’d had conversations with them about what their future held as a teen mom. I did not want those things for myself or an unplanned child. I’d also overheard girls in

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the locker room discussing their abortions, and I had not wanted that for myself either. Still there I was, a smart girl with what I considered a dumb problem, poised to become a statistic either way. I had not gotten pregnant on my own, but I knew I would bear the burden of my decision alone, because I recognized even then the stigma attached to a woman not wanting to be a parent. I researched abortion clinics in New Orleans and arranged to take a taxi to the nearest location. I recall the taxi driver pulling up to the clinic and saying, “This is the place gals go to kill their babies and what not. You want me to let you off here?” I tossed the exact amount of fare at the man and ignored his request for a tip. Then I walked through a small parade of pro-life protestors, entered the clinic, signed in at the reception desk, and sat there in the lobby for about ten minutes. I wound up leaving before my name was called and caught the bus back to campus. It took me another a day or two to get up the nerve to call my mom and tell her what had happened, what I’d done, what shame I felt. Mom never expressed disappointment with me. She cried on the phone right along with me, taking the heaviness I felt and making it her own. I believe she already knew that no one would punish me more than I would punish myself. I flew back to California soon after, stealing away to the airport from my college campus in the night and sleeping the entire six-hour flight back home. I received a surgical abortion through my mother’s insurance coverage the following morning. I stayed at home and slept in my mother’s bed that night. The Next Chapter The next day, I was back on the plane to New Orleans determined not to make the same mistake. Determined to figure out how I could eventually become the mother I did one day want to be. I considered myself fortunate to have the resources, opportunity, and support to take back control of a situation I felt I’d not exercised enough control over in the first place. I focused on my education and what I had to contribute to the world. I also began taking birth control pills and engaging in whatever methods or strategies or activities I could to avoid becoming pregnant again. I ran from sex,

relationships, commitment. I did not want to play house with anyone. I wanted to craft what I believed were the right conditions in which to raise a child: disposable income, a comfortable home in a safe neighborhood, marriage to someone with traditional family values. I fought unintended pregnancy and won that fight for the next 18 years. Then I met and married an appropriate candidate for starting a family and marched toward motherhood eagerly. We began to prepare our lives and home for children. I tried so hard to bring about a positive pregnancy test after having spent so many years doing the opposite. I read every book I could, ate fertility foods, took vitamins, exercised, tried every baby-making position, and it just wasn’t happening. I consulted with a gynecologist and underwent a series of tests, each seemingly more intrusive and embarrassing than the last. It felt like most of the staff at the hospital had seen or touched my naked lower half. After what seemed like a million tests later, the doctor tentatively attributed my infertility issues to endometriosis, a condition in which the endometrium—tissue that ordinarily lines the uterus— grows outside of the uterus and in other areas where it doesn’t belong. I didn’t know if the birth control pills had triggered it. I just knew that my periods had become longer and more painful after I began taking them. I’d chalked my new period experiences up to being the price I needed to pay for the abortion I’d had and for any future abortions I wanted to prevent. Despite all the tests, my doctor could not confirm that I actually had endometriosis until I underwent an outpatient surgery to detect and remove my endometrial scarring. When I saw the images of what my doctor removed, I couldn’t believe how tiny the scars were. I couldn’t believe that such minute disruptions could stand in the way of new life. When it was okay to try for pregnancy again, I did. I became pregnant twice. I miscarried twice. Those were the hardest experiences of my life. Mostly because no one could tell me why those pregnancies weren’t viable and no one could make me believe that those losses weren’t payback for the abortion I had. At the exact moment I learned that my fetus no longer had a heartbeat, I wish I could have just talked to someone else who had experienced the same thing. I wish I could have just heard from someone else to know that I could get through this with my heart and my soul and my mind

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intact. In fact, I wish that doctors provided all women with the option of counseling whenever a pregnancy terminates, whether by abortion, miscarriage, or otherwise. I truly needed to talk to someone, but I stayed silent and I hid within myself because I could not escape the belief that I controlled everything that happened within my body. I felt that I should have known what to do and what not to do in order to have the children I wanted. I did not realize how unfair and unforgiving I was being to myself. Right on Time After the last miscarriage, I sat in my room bingewatching Breaking Bad on Netflix specifically because the show had little to do with babies and was the escape I so desperately needed from my own thoughts. I didn’t talk to anyone on the

still here and I’d experienced them for a reason. I completed my thesis and earned my MFA in Writing four months later. I also became pregnant again. I was six months pregnant when I walked across the stage to receive my degree. A few months after that, I gave birth to Osinachi—a child who arrived exactly on his due date. As time went on, I realized how blessed I was even in my mistakes, my missteps, my ignorance, my faults. I’d lived through them, I’d learned from them, and I gained the courage to not let those experiences go to waste. When a younger family member experienced abortion, I was able to be a sounding board and give guidance, comfort, and clarity. When my close friend experienced miscarriage, I was able to be the faithful sister and

“ I felt that I should have known what to do and what not to do in order to have the children I wanted. I did not realize how unfair and unforgiving I was being to myself. ” phone. I didn’t receive visitors. I barely ate. I slept often. Two weeks passed before I went back to my graduate internship and the final months of my graduate program. I put all my thoughts and energy into those things because they served as another form of departure. But God is faithful. Though I had doubts about anything omnipotent, omniscient working in my life, I could not help but recognize the presence of a higher power. My managing editor at the time told me about the five back-to-back miscarriages she’d had. The depression she’d fallen into. How she felt as if she had to keep silent so as not to upset all the other women around her who were enjoying their own pregnancies and new adventures in motherhood. And then she showed me the picture of her nine-month-old son and reminded me that my story was not yet over. Somewhere along the way, I made up my mind to let go and be at ease with whatever past, present, and future I was meant to experience. I decided to accept what had happened as my truth. I decided not to pass judgment on that truth. These things in my life had happened but I was

cheerleader my managing editor had been to me. And most recently, I was able to be a confidante to another good friend who also had experienced both abortion and fertility issues. Though I did not have a solution for her, I was able to reassure her that she was beautiful, strong, worthy, and not alone—and that if she wanted motherhood, she would somehow have the desires of her heart. I decided to share this story after agonizing over it for such a very long time. I don’t have a clear reason for why I had sex with a man whose child I did not want to have, though I know some will read this and fault me for that. But that’s okay. I’ve faulted myself for that too, even though I know I’d likely make all the same decisions I had before. I say that because I don’t quite know if I’d be the mother I am, or if my children would be who they are, if I’d done anything differently. I also know that when the time comes to tell them about matters of sex and love and pregnancy and choices, I’ll be ready and unafraid to give them what they need to do better than I did.

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Nikki and her two sons, ages 3 and 5

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Abortion

Separating Myth from Fact

worcds by Oreoluwa Ogunyemi, MD

Most of us have strong opinions on abortion, and it’s not surprising that a lot of misinformation on the subject has crept into the public arena. Here we’ll debunk these myths and get to the truth about abortion.

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ABORTION MYTHS AND FACTS

Myth 1: It’s Easy for Anyone to Get an Abortion Fact: While almost 60% of women live in countries with legal abortion, access is not always guaranteed. In the United States, where abortion has been legal since the landmark 1973 Roe vs. Wade case, recent years have seen sweeping rollbacks. There are areas of the country with no access to abortion for hundreds of miles. And since abortion is not always covered by health insurance, many women are financially restricted from accessing it. Myth 2: Abortion Is Dangerous Fact: A legal abortion by a trained healthcare provider is extremely safe. In fact, an abortion is 14 times safer than childbirth because most abortions occur in the first or early second trimester when complications are rare. Women who wait until late pregnancy—which is more common in areas where abortion is restricted—or who have illegal or unsanitary abortions are more likely to die or have severe complications. Myth 3: Abortion Causes Infertility Fact: Safe abortions do not typically cause infertility. A small number of women may have an infection after an abortion, which in rare cases can lead to pelvic inflammatory disease (PID), a cause of infertility. This risk is often avoided through preventive antibiotics, early treatment, and safe medical practices. Of course, women who have unsafe or illegal abortions are at much higher risk not only of infections, but also of genital trauma that can impact fertility. Myth 4: Abortion Causes Breast Cancer Fact: Various medical societies have confirmed that there is no link between breast cancer and abortion. This misconception comes from poorly designed studies that suggested a link but have since been called into question. More recent research looking at more than 80,000 women with breast cancer continues to show no link between the two. Myth 5: Abortion Encourages Unsafe Sex and Promiscuity Fact: Research has shown that increased access to and use of contraceptives leads to stable or even lower rates of sexual activity. This is tied directly to an increase in safe sex education, including information on abortion, which allows young people to make better informed, more empowered choices about their sexual lives, be it safe sex or abstinence. Myth 6: Abortion Is Murder Fact: A Biblical law (Exodus 21: 22-23) is the source of this myth. In it, the punishment for an accident that

induces miscarriage is death. Considering that this ruling is sandwiched between punishments for mistreatment of slaves and the saying “eye for eye, tooth for tooth” (later rejected by Jesus Christ), it no longer carries the same weight it once did. In addition, nowhere in the Bible is intentional abortion mentioned, and the Talmud, the Hebrew authority on law and order, actually accepts abortion in certain situations. Also, suggesting that abortion and murder are the same ascribes personhood to a dependent embryo or fetus that cannot survive outside of the womb, a controversial tenet at best. Myth 7: Abortion Leads to “Post-Abortion Syndrome” and Causes Psychological Trauma Fact: The American Psychological Association (APA) found that a safe abortion causes no more psychological distress than a full pregnancy. On the other hand, denying access to abortion can increase a woman’s anxiety and decrease life satisfaction. Myth 8: Limiting Access Will Reduce Abortions Fact: Sadly, restricting access to abortion only increases the number of women who suffer unsafe abortions. In fact, 97% of unsafe abortions occur in areas where abortion is restricted. These unsafe and illegal abortions transform a safe practice into a deadly one and cause up to 13% of maternal mortality worldwide. Experts have found that instead of restricting abortions, more lenient laws regarding contraception and abortion—along with increased education—will help decrease the number of abortions overall. Myth 9: Abortion Targets Minority Women and Kills Black Babies Fact: This myth plays on fear and mistrust of the healthcare system. As minority women, especially women of African descent, have a history of abuse at the hands of medicine, appealing to this fear can dissuade them from accessing needed healthcare. It also shames women into thinking that their personal health choices damage their communities. These women—and their communities—are then left to deal with the consequences of carrying unwanted pregnancies to term, perpetuating a cycle of poverty and familial instability into future generations. Abortion is controversial for good reason—it asks us to question our most deeply held beliefs about society, morality, and even what it means to be human. Getting to the truth behind the myths can help us find common ground and make better decisions for ourselves and our families.

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4 HEALTH & WELLNESS page 102.

PREGNANT WHILE BLACK—A RISKY PROPOSITION The Black maternal mortality crisis page 108.

AGAINST THE ODDS: A MOTHER'S JOURNEY One woman’s long and winding road to childbirth page 112.

ON FIBROIDS & BLACK WOMEN Know someone with fibroids? Odds are you do.

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PREGNANT WHILE BLACK—A RISKY PROPOSITION?

PREGNANT WHILE BLACK A RISKY PROPOSITION? Inequity in Maternity—Falling through the Cracks words by Chinyere Amobi, MPH

When Dr. Latosha Perkins became pregnant in January 2019, she checked all the boxes for being on course for a smooth pregnancy and safe delivery. As a family medicine physician, she was highly educated and had full health insurance coverage. She exercised regularly, ate nutritious foods, and didn’t have any comorbidities such as high blood pressure, diabetes, or being overweight.

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So why was it that during her pregnancy she developed gestational diabetes, required extensive bed rest, and had a breech baby which led to an unplanned cesarean section?

five times more often than white women with similar education levels. Even more surprising? The maternal death rate for college-educated Black women is about 70% higher than that of white women with less than a high school degree.

Aside from a slightly elevated age for childbirth at 37, Dr. Perkins had one major factor working against her. This factor made it more likely that she would have “I was very empowered and educated and knew what to higher levels of the harmful stress hormone cortisol, be expect during pregnancy, but I still ended up with some monitored less closely by her medical team, and possibly of the same complications other Black women would even die in childbirth: she was a Black woman born and end up with,” shares Dr. Perkins. “Racism, implicit bias, raised in the United States. and microaggressions definitely play a role in Black women dying three times more than white women Unlike other wealthy nations, the U.S. began to see while delivering our babies. Systemically, the numbers a rise in maternal deaths around 1990, after decades of show that Black women may get less time with the decline. According to the Centers for Disease Control doctor, and when we go to triage for pregnancy, our and Prevention, approximately 700 women die as a result complaints may not be taken as seriously.” of pregnancy or its complications each year in the U.S., placing the country far behind its affluent counterparts Implicit bias and outright racism among medical staff and even many developing nations. An additional 500,000 can affect how providers give and receive information, women experience life-threatening complications from monitor you, and even perceive your level of pain. childbirth. Black women bear the brunt of this alarming Combined with Black women’s predisposition to higher statistic, and are roughly three times as likely to die as a rates of diabetes, hypertension, and preeclampsia result of pregnancy as white women. within our pregnancies, this negligence can create the perfect storm. Even the most well-informed and For many Black women, elements of everyday life prepared patient can fall through the cracks. become factors for ill health and poor outcomes during and after pregnancy. “Women who look like me are dying in childbirth from preventable causes,” says Zimbabwean nurse “Black women in American have poorer overall health practitioner Rue Khosa, the founder of The Perfect compared to white women for a number of reasons Push, a lactation and parenting wellness clinic in that aren’t personal-choice-based,” says journalist Tomi Redmond, Washington. “These aren’t outlandish or Akitunde, founder of mater mea, an online platform critical or high-risk childbirths; these are preventable and resource for Black mothers. “We also have lower deaths where women were not being listened to or instances of getting the prenatal check-ins we need monitored in the way that everybody deserves to be to have doctors keep an eye out for issues that can paid attention to.” balloon into life-or-death problems, and even when we do, a doctor’s bias or dismissiveness of our claims Many of us remember the harrowing childbirth story of pain increases our chances of those preventable or of Serena Williams, one of the world’s greatest athletes. manageable issues becoming a death sentence.” The day after delivering, Williams complained to a nurse about shortness of breath. Recognizing this Although Black women are more likely to experience familiar warning sign from a past experience with many of the factors that can lead to poor pregnancy blood clots in her lungs, Williams asked the nurse for a and delivery outcomes, these disparities fail to paint CT scan and heparin, a blood thinner. a complete picture of why so many Black women are losing their lives to childbirth. Instead, medical staff ordered an ultrasound to investigate swelling in Williams’ leg, and found nothing. A Missing Piece of the Puzzle Only then did her medical team order a CT scan of her lungs, which revealed several blood clots. By the time Factors that are usually health-protective, such as the hospital released Williams, severe coughing had higher income and education levels, fail to insulate us; opened her C-section incision and a hemorrhage had Black women with college degrees still die in childbirth formed at the site, requiring six weeks of bed rest.

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RADIANT HEALTH № 15 The Motherhood Issue

PREGNANT WHILE BLACK—A RISKY PROPOSITION?

How Stress Takes Its Toll More and more, researchers and medical professionals are recognizing stress as a major culprit in Black women’s poor birth outcomes. “At baseline, cortisol levels in Black women are four times higher than in white women,” explains Dr. Perkins. “And when you measure what the life of a Black woman looks like in pregnancy compared to white women, there’s definitely more stress and anxiety and not as much support.” Decades of research support this claim. The seminal work of University of Michigan public health researcher Dr. Arline Geronimus in the 1980s and 1990s introduced the concept of “weathering,” which describes the different ways that socioeconomic disadvantages can erode health over time. A person’s allostatic load—the wear and tear on the body—can build up as they’re exposed to constant stressors. Chronic stress, be it from poverty, lack of opportunities, local violence, everyday racism, or microaggressions at work, can age a person’s body and leave it more vulnerable to negative health outcomes, including in childbirth.

By most accounts, the U.S. is failing Black mothers and mothers-to-be. Rue Khosa founded her clinic, The Perfect Push, in 2015 after noticing the lack of support available to American women around childbirth. “The spirit of the company is driven by my upbringing in Zimbabwe and realizing that it does take a village to get a woman or a family through the transition of welcoming a baby or multiple kids into a family,” says Rue. “And that’s something that’s so far from who we are as a society in the U.S. Our goal is to bridge the gap to be that sister, that aunt, that grandma who moved in with you and held your hand and walked that journey with you.” In the Shona tradition of kugarira in Zimbabwe, an older relative moves in with the new mother for up to six months, guiding the mother emotionally and physically into her new role. Likewise, the Igbo and Yoruba people of Nigeria practice omugwu and ojojo omo, respectively. In these traditional customs for postpartum care, the mother of either new parent moves in to help with lactation and other parenting essentials, and cooks foods with medicinal herbs to facilitate postpartum healing, help with milk production, and flush blood clots from the body. The elder relative might also practice water therapy, soaking a hot cloth in water to massage the new mother’s stomach.

In the early 2000s, research into telomeres, the protective caps on the ends of chromosomes, provided an even closer look at the premature aging a body under constant stress endures. Researchers found that allostatic load causes cells in the body to divide faster. This in turn causes telomeres to get shorter and shorter every time cells “Something my Nigerian mom stresses is the lack of divide. “The result is earlier deterioration of organs and community and support in the American birthing tissues—essentially, premature aging,” Dr. Geronimus experience,” says Tomi Akitunde. “This is changing with the rise of doulas and midwives, but America’s told Harvard Public Health Magazine in 2019. approach to birth and parenting has been very individualized: you give birth, go home, and people An International Perspective expect you to figure it out by yourself. Having help is Comparisons with Black women from other countries seen as a luxury.” suggest that the stress of living in America is also harming many U.S.-born Black mothers. A 1997 study A Helping Hand published in the New England Journal of Medicine by two Chicago neonatologists found that babies born Part coach, guide, consoler, and advocate, doulas and to new immigrants from West African countries midwives are there to listen and tend to a mother’s weighed more than those of their African American needs—and to make sure her medical staff does too. counterparts, meaning they were more likely to have been born full term. And while the immigrant Nakeya Fields, a licensed clinical social worker, trained women’s babies were similar in size to white babies, doula, and owner of The Feel Well Empowerment the American-raised daughters of these immigrants Center in California, says, “I think doulas and went on to have smaller babies. In the span of just midwives allow for culture to be revisited, allowing one generation of living in the U.S., the white-Black the practices of our African ancestors to come back into the birthing room.” disparity in childbirth became apparent.

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Nakeya found herself in need of a doula just three linking up with a nonprofit that caters to expecting months prior to her due date. Her pregnancy was women of color. unplanned, she had relational difficulties with her baby’s father, and a recent car accident had led to “What was different about my experience was that when forced rest, frequent bleeding, and financial troubles. I didn’t feel like my doctor was a good fit, I switched to a group of women physicians of color who I knew Her child’s delivery was just as chaotic. Nakeya’s baby I could feel free to ask questions of,” says Dr. Perkins. started to show signs of distress after she had to be Her husband also learned everything he needed to be induced. As the delivery room became flooded with her support person. incessant beeping and the scared faces of nurses rushing in and out, Nakeya heard that her baby was turned the As you craft your birth plan, keep in mind your unique wrong way and that she would need an episiotomy. emotional and physical needs. While doulas and midwives can add a powerful layer of support to your She was far from her family and emotionally estranged birthing journey, certain factors may put you at higher from her baby’s father and relatives, but her doula risk of complications that require a hospital setting and held her hand throughout the traumatic experience. the care of a physician. As you craft a plan that you’re “She advocated for me when I started to not be able comfortable with, the backing of sound medical advice to communicate for myself in the delivery room,” says from a licensed professional will help ensure that you get Nakeya. “At times, I felt she was the only one who the care you need and deserve during this special time. noticed me.” Options to Consider Unfortunately, Nakeya’s trauma continued after delivery, when she no longer had access to her doula’s As it becomes increasingly acceptable to include nonservices. Her difficult experience, including losing physician professionals in your birthing team, it can be so much blood that she couldn’t hold her baby and daunting to decide what type of birthing professional struggling to breastfeed in the days following her to choose. Here are the main differences between OBchild’s birth, inspired her to become a doula herself to GYNs, midwives, and doulas. help advocate for unsupported new mothers. An OB-GYN is a physician who specializes in women’s “I think oftentimes we worry about the baby most once health from the onset of menstruation through we know the child is coming, and the mother disappears menopause. In addition to providing prenatal and as being the identified client when she most needs to postpartum care, OB-GYNs also perform preventative be supported,” Nakeya explains. “Doulas can provide screenings for women’s health issues such as breast and an opportunity for mothers to prep and feel educated uterine cancer. Your OB-GYN can help you create an about their options long before any crises can arrive.” evidence-based birth plan based on your preferences and risk level. Studies have shown that when doulas or other knowledgeable companions join a woman’s birth team, A midwife is a registered nurse with a master’s degree mothers deliver their babies faster, require less pain in nursing specializing in midwifery. Midwives specialize medication, and have lower rates of C-section. Several in low-risk pregnancies, labor, and birth, but they can states are taking notice: both Oregon and Minnesota also help with gynecological health concerns such as now cover doulas through Medicaid, and Washington sexually transmitted diseases, urinary tract infections, and Oklahoma are now allowing incarcerated women and yeast infections. Midwives can be there for mothers to set up doula care before, during, and immediately before, during, and after birth and can help during labor after childbirth provided they can find a program to as well as in the postpartum period with breastfeeding cover the cost. and other needs. Building Your Team New Black mothers can hardly be expected to combat racism, implicit bias, and generational stress in between pushes at the hospital. That’s why it’s important to build your mommy support team as early in the journey as possible. This could mean finding a midwife or a doula, forming a mommy tribe with a group of pregnant or recently pregnant women, or

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A doula is not a clinical professional (unless they have additional training and licensing), cannot prescribe medication, and is not meant to offer medical advice or deliver babies. Instead, doulas provide powerful physical and emotional support to mothers and their partners before, during, and after delivery. This can include teaching the mother and partner breathing techniques for delivery, relaxation strategies for pushing, and different positions to aid in delivery.

RADIANT HEALTH № 15 The Motherhood Issue

PREGNANT WHILE BLACK — A RISKY PROPOSITION?

model Taja Janel (@tajajanel) photos by Mary Margaret Loftus (@marymcinema)

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photo by Jonathan Kola

IJEOMA KOLA AGAINST THE ODDS

A MOTHER’S JOURNEY words by Ijeoma Kola

I’VE ALWAYS KNOWN I wanted to be a mother. Which is why,

shortly after our one-year wedding anniversary, after a night of calculating our finances, our health insurance coverage, and the amount of time I had left in my PhD program, I jumped for joy that my husband and I decided it was time to begin our family. When we raise African girls, particularly in households where religion plays a central role, there is a lot of discussion on how to not have a baby. We are told to keep our legs closed and not let the devil tempt us into allowing anyone near our precious wombs until they have paid a dowry. What we’re not told is what to do when we are married and desire children but they do not come. According to a study published in Human Reproduction, over 80% of couples become pregnant within six months of trying

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to conceive. I had always performed above average academically, so I was shocked when six months passed and I still did not have a viable pregnancy. I had in fact gotten pregnant within those first six months, but lost the baby before I even visited the doctor. No African proverb or Bible verse taught me how to handle a miscarriage, so I kept it to myself and decided to try harder. I meticulously tracked my cycle and timed my fertile days, the researcher in me confident that better data would lead to a positive test. But after 10 months of unwanted periods, I decided I was done being on the wrong side of a statistic and took myself for a consultation with a

plausible explanations. To my knowledge, I had never in my life wronged anyone enough for them to perform juju to block my fallopian tubes, so nothing made sense. The doctor waited for our response to his conclusion, but I was still in shock. My husband and I agreed that we would go home and think about it, and we decided that we would put our baby-making efforts on the back burner until I finished my dissertation and my PhD, which I had been working on for seven years. Although I promised my husband I wouldn’t think about pregnancy again until I finished school, rarely a day

“And in a fortuitous turn of events, I got pregnant. In the last cycle before I would have officially been declared infertile...” fertility specialist. It was 8 a.m. on Valentine’s Day, and after running through some basic questions, the doctor recommended I undergo a hysterosalpingography (HSG) exam to take a look at my fallopian tubes. I went back to the clinic a few days later, this time with my husband, who kindly offered to do blood work to see if our struggles were on his end. In many African cultures, failing to bear children can justify ending a marriage, and the burden of conception—and the blame when it is delayed or impossible—is overwhelmingly shouldered by women, so I appreciated his support. But still, I was the one whose reproductive inner workings needed to be checked and whose body would be invaded by dye to determine the shape of my uterus and the competence of my fallopian tubes. After the HSG exam, I gingerly walked back into the doctor’s office ready to hear my fate. The news wasn’t good, and even more frustrating, it was delivered without much explanation or sympathy. I had failed the HSG exam—the first test I had ever failed in all of my 28 years. One of my fallopian tubes was completely blocked, and the other was partially obstructed. The doctor told us that getting pregnant naturally would be difficult, and even if I managed to conceive, the likelihood of having a dangerous ectopic pregnancy was high. And then he said five words that I will never forget. “You’re Going to Need IVF” Hearing those few words threw me for a loop. I was fairly healthy, worked out often, had a regular menstrual cycle, and had only been in the hospital once in my life, for a torn ACL. I was just 28 years old, surely young enough not to need medical intervention to conceive. I had not had an abortion or an abundance of sexual partners, myth-based factors that were nonetheless culturally

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went by that I did not run through a variety of questions and scenarios in my head. How were we going to afford IVF? My graduate school health insurance didn’t cover it. We knew we wanted multiple kids—would we have to do multiple rounds? What about pursuing adoption or surrogacy instead? Why were my tubes blocked in the first place? Did God know that I wouldn’t be able to finish my dissertation if I were pregnant or had a baby, and if so, was He keeping me barren until I graduated? Was He punishing me for something I did? When I am faced with personal adversity, I often take the “ignore the situation and work harder” route. After all, I had been raised by two people who abandoned everything they knew and everyone they loved to raise three children in a new country, so complaining about my situation was not an option. I instead doubled down on the things I was good at, the things that were within my control. I set an insane deadline of completing my dissertation in three months, when I’d only written about 40%. I exercised and blogged copiously, posting influencer campaigns after workouts before beginning my writing for the day. I still cried when my period came the following month, but this time I hid my tears from my husband and channeled my frustrations into willing my fingers to type faster. And in a fortuitous turn of events, I got pregnant. In the last cycle before I would have officially been declared infertile, I arrived at the gym one morning feeling uncharacteristically nauseous. Unlike the previous 11 months, I had not scrutinized my cervical mucus or logged days with sexual activity into my fertility tracking app. A pregnancy test later that night confirmed that we were expecting, but my joy this time was restrained, just in case something went wrong.

RADIANT HEALTH № 15 The Motherhood Issue

IJEOMA KOLA AGAINST THE ODDS

Another two weeks passed and a visit to my ob-gyn confirmed it—I had gotten pregnant. Naturally. A feat I thought was impossible, or at least improbable. And surprisingly at the very moment I had actively stopped trying to get pregnant.

and went with no baby in sight. Maybe it was the fact that my parents had flown in from the U.S. and were leaving in a few days, or that I was just extremely eager to meet the baby I’d waited so long for, but I naturally induced my labor using an old wives’ trick of drinking castor oil.

Not Out of the Woods

My labor progressed quickly, and I arrived at the hospital 6 centimeters dilated. What had been a fairly uneventful pregnancy appeared to be leading to a swift and complication-free delivery, but seven hours later, I was only 9 centimeters dilated and the baby’s head was not descending. Lamaze and hypnobirthing classes helped keep me calm enough to pass on having an epidural while I labored, but once I heard that I had not progressed in hours, I begged for drugs, a C-section, anything to speed the process and lessen the pain, but it was too late.

The first few weeks of pregnancy were a blur. I was motivated more than ever to finish my dissertation, and churned out a chapter and a half in a month. Thankfully I did not have any morning sickness, just fatigue. My doctor’s visit involved going through my medical history, and I rehashed my miscarriage and fertility visit, but I had been so caught up in the fertility doctor’s IVF recommendation that I had completely forgotten another revelation from those miserable encounters. I had fibroids, sizeable ones. Fibroids occur in 60% of Black women under the age of 35. Though benign, these uterine tumors can grow, shrink, or remain the same size during pregnancy. I had three noticeable fibroids, the largest the size of an orange, which partially blocked my cervical opening. My obstetrician told me matter-of-factly that I would likely need a C-section, dispelling the dreams I had of a water birth in a birthing center, and that we would monitor the fibroids with monthly ultrasounds.

I managed to convince one of the nurses that I was ready to push, and after 45 minutes our son was born with his umbilical cord wrapped around his neck. Although a bit purple, he regained oxygen quickly and cried the most beautiful cry I have ever heard: a cry that made all the tears I had shed in the year and a half it took to make our miracle baby worthwhile.

After struggling to get pregnant, I didn’t have the same vigor to obsess over the fibroids as I normally would. Plus, I was preparing to defend my dissertation and frantically organizing my life to pack up for an international move, so there was no time for fibroid fear to set in. My pregnancy progressed without much fanfare, except for one visit to the ER due to severe abdominal pain that stemmed from the degeneration of one of the fibroids. I successfully defended my dissertation and completed my PhD at 18 weeks pregnant, and moved from the U.S. to Kenya three weeks later.

photo by Marta Skovro McAdams

In Nairobi, I sought out a physician who specializes in maternal fetal medicine and briefed her on my now extensive medical and gynecological history. I shared the monthly ultrasound referral from my American doctor, but my Kenyan doctor told me there was no point in imaging the fibroids until 36 weeks, when their location would actually matter for determining whether I would need a C-section. At 36 weeks pregnant, my fibroids shrank and shifted, no longer posing a threat of blocking my baby’s descent into the cervical canal. I was cleared to labor and deliver naturally, a small win in a long series of disappointing news. Despite my best efforts to go for long walks, eat spicy foods, and remain horizontally active, my due date came

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Fibroids WHAT BLACK WOMEN NEED TO KNOW

Know someone with fibroids? Odds are you do.

words by Oreoluwa Ogunyemi, MD

WE MAY NOT KNOW IT, but most of us have a friend or

family member with fibroids. That’s because over 80% of Black women will be affected by fibroids. Unfortunately, too many of us aren’t sharing this truth with our mothers, sisters, and daughters. Instead, we’re suffering in silence. There is still too much secrecy—and too much inequity— surrounding Black women’s reproductive health, but since fibroids are a fact of life for many of us, it’s time to start asking for and getting the answers we deserve.

FIBROIDS WHAT BLACK WOMEN NEED TO KNOW

Why Should I Care About Fibroids? Fibroids strike during a woman’s prime, between our first period and menopause, and are more likely to affect Black women. »

We’re more likely to have large fibroids, meaning more symptoms—and complications.

We’re more likely to be diagnosed with fibroids at a younger age: 37.5 years of age on average, compared to 41.6 years for white women. Since women often have symptoms long before they are diagnosed, this means that fibroids can impact women as early as in their twenties. And more years of symptoms can mean more time taken away from building our careers and families.

We’re more likely to have a hysterectomy, the most drastic treatment for fibroids. This major operation can increase our risk of future heart disease and other health issues.

What Are Fibroids? Fibroids are tumors that grow in a woman’s uterus (womb). While they are almost always benign, they can really upend a woman’s life. Normally the uterus is about the size of a fist, but a fibroid can cause it to grow as large as it would be during pregnancy. Up to half of women with fibroids will experience problems such as belly pressure and pain, heavy periods, and difficulty getting pregnant. Who Gets Fibroids and Why? Nearly 70% of all women are affected by fibroids, but the reason behind why one woman gets them and another does not is not clear-cut. The fact that women get fibroids during their reproductive years indicates that fibroids thrive when estrogen and progesterone levels are relatively high, yet doctors don’t know what precise hormone levels or other conditions may cause fibroids. It’s a known fact that women who start their period before the age of 10, have a higher body mass index (BMI), or have never had children are all more likely to have fibroids. Research also shows that low vitamin D levels are linked to fibroids. In addition, our lifestyle choices can also affect our risk. For example, women who eat more red meat, drink more beer, and have high blood pressure may be putting themselves at increased risk of getting fibroids, whereas eating more vegetables and fruits (especially citrus fruits) can decrease our risk.

Also increasing a woman’s risk for fibroids are endocrine disruptors (EDs), chemicals that throw off the body’s response to hormones such as estrogen and progesterone, leading to abnormal signals that can cause health problems. EDs have been linked to a range of reproductive health problems, including infertility, endometriosis, polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS), and fibroids. They are found in many of the products we take for granted, such as personal care and beauty supplies, medications and supplements, food packaging, furniture—and the list goes on. EDs like phthalates, bisphenol A (BPA), and polychlorinated biphenyl are absorbed by our skin, ingested with our food, and inhaled in contaminated air. Several additional risk factors are just more common in Black women. We are more likely to have low vitamin D levels because of our richly melanated skin. Sunlight activates vitamin D, but since melanin can block this process, darker skinned people tend to have lower levels of active vitamin D. And on average, Black girls tend to get their periods earlier than white girls, which also puts them at higher risk for fibroids. Another specific concern for Black women is that fibroids have been linked to hair relaxers. While researchers don’t have all the answers, we do know that many hair relaxers contain EDs and that the chemical burns we get using them can make it easier for those EDs to be absorbed into our skin. What Does It Feel Like to Have Fibroids? For most women, fibroids feel like nothing simply because they are too small to cause symptoms. These women may know that they have fibroids only because their doctor did an ultrasound or some other test for an unrelated concern. Women with fibroid symptoms may feel a nagging pressure or ache in the lower belly that they just can’t shake. The pain can become debilitating, forcing women to take time off from work, family life, and other interests. Fibroids also commonly cause abnormal menstrual bleeding, including very heavy periods that can last for weeks or bleeding that occurs in between periods. Some women simply get used to going through changes of underwear, endless packs of tampons or pads, and the constant worry of a telltale red stain, but such severe bleeding can lead to anemia—a low red blood cell count that can cause extreme fatigue and weakness. Some women with fibroids may also experience painful sex or urinary incontinence as the fibroids take up space in the body. For women wanting to have children, fibroids can manifest as difficulty getting pregnant or having repeat miscarriages.

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What Happens if I Don’t Get Treatment? For women with small fibroids and no symptoms, doing nothing may be best. It is hard to predict what will happen over time, however, as some fibroids will grow and eventually cause problems while others shrink over time. After women enter menopause, fibroids tend to shrink with falling estrogen levels. Women using hormone replacement therapy (HRT) to treat menopause-related symptoms such as hot flashes should be aware that these hormones can prolong fibroid symptoms as well. What Are My Treatment Options? Many women with fibroids have symptoms for years before they are diagnosed, and fibroids can grow for years before that. Educating ourselves about ways to prevent fibroids, such as healthy eating or taking vitamin D supplements, is the first step toward bolstering our health. There are also a range of treatment options available to women experiencing fibroid symptoms. Hormone therapy Since fibroids occur when reproductive hormones are at their peak, medications such as oral contraceptives pills (OCPs) and intrauterine devices (IUDs) are often the first line of treatment. Hormone therapy treats both pain and heavy periods, and can be a good option for women with mild symptoms who may also want temporary birth control.

Myomectomy This is a procedure designed to remove fibroids while keeping the uterus intact. It is traditionally used for women who still want to have children. There are several types of myomectomies, some of which do not require an incision. Myomectomy risks include infection and blood loss, as well as the possibility of the fibroids growing back.

Uterine artery embolization (UAE) This procedure involves injecting particles in order to block blood flow to the uterus. Ninety percent of women who undergo UAE experience less bleeding, with fewer complications than with other fibroid treatments, though it is not without risk. UAE is a newer procedure and doctors aren’t clear on how much it lowers a woman’s chance of future pregnancies. In addition, approximately 25% of women still eventually end up having a hysterectomy after UAE.

Hysterectomy This procedure removes the entire uterus, causing irreversible infertility. There can also be major complications, such as infection and bleeding, and it carries the risk of long-term problems including heart disease, early menopause, and even depression. Black women have routinely been more likely to have their fibroids treated with either a hysterectomy or myomectomy, at a younger age than their white counterparts and with more complications.

Managing fibroids, like other chronic medical conditions, is not cheap. A 2006 study found that women with fibroids spend an additional $4,200 per year in healthcare costs. These costs not only include doctor appointments, tests, and surgeries, but also missed days from work. And for women without health insurance, the financial burden is even more dire. Where Do We Go Next? As in any other area of our lives, education is key to making the best decisions. Historically, Black women have had to deal with secrecy and shame regarding the health of our bodies. Learning more about fibroids—which overwhelmingly affect Black women—gives us the power to take a leading role in our health. We can make a big difference by consciously choosing what we put in or on our bodies and by knowing important numbers like our blood pressure and vitamin D levels. By asking questions and seeking answers about fibroids, we have the chance not only to treat ourselves, but to use that knowledge to shrink the unequal burden for future generations of Black women.

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RADIANT HEALTH № 15 The Motherhood Issue

“Learning more about fibroids—which overwhelmingly affect Black women—gives us the power to take a leading role in our health.”

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page 120.

MOM STYLE A guide to pairing form & function page 128.

INTERVIEW AISHA AYENSU On fashioning a new attitude in the African woman

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A GUIDE TO PAIRING FORM & FUNCTION words by Emily Rubin

FOR THE COMINGS AND GOINGS of a busy mom, function is every bit as relevant as form when it comes to clothing preferences. Striking that perfect balance between style and utility is essential in managing a household while still holding on to your personal identity. Whether you’re a new mom still with a hint of a baby bump or raising teenagers, your wardrobe needs will probably be similar—comfortable, convenient, and cute.

STYLE

Ignoring both the fancy section of the closet, which will largely get tucked away until date night or a night out with the girls, and the chic professional pieces that come out for the nine to five, the remaining bulk of your wardrobe can fall into two camps: athleisure and effortless layers. Athleisure Whether it’s the simple comfort of this style or the ease of jumping straight into that spin class the moment you’ve dropped the kids off at their activities, athleisure is the ultimate style gift of the 21st century. With a smattering of options at different price points, athleisure can be donned by women working from all sorts of budgets. From the true athletic workout options— leggings, sports bras, run sweaters and slouchy sweaters, joggers, and sportier streetwear—every piece is now offered in a plethora of colors and patterns for every taste. Even while keeping to the relatively homogenous style category, the palette you play with speaks volumes about your personal fashion profile. You can opt for the muted feminine pastels, the bold chromatics, the dramatic jewel tones, or the unassuming neutrals. There’s a story to be told here for every woman. More to the point, she can tell it in the comfort that allows her to zip from the grocery store to the pickup zone to the bank to the PTA meeting ... and so on, and so forth. While soft fabrics and stretch bands favor the wearer’s physical comfort, the optics are even kinder, with ample sculpting options on the market to tuck in, suck in, and keep women feeling confident. Athleisure has options to show off all of your favorite areas while helping to mitigate whatever may be a bit of an insecurity zone. Tight-fit, loosefit, stretch or straight, sculpt or standard, spandex, moisture-wicking—the list goes on. Designed to facilitate your day, the athleisure wardrobe will keep you looking and feeling your best.

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photography by Ahmad Barber model Aris of Select Models Atlanta styling by Ray C'Mone make-up by Christine Dompier-Vazquez hair by Andy Buckmire cable-knit crew neck and short by Mr Mittens

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So what are the key pieces you’ll definitely want to keep in your armoire? The Transition Legging The kind that you can wear both for daily activities and to the gym. They should be fitted, but not so high in compression that they are tummy-ache inducing.

The Everywhere Sweater This shouldn’t look any more out of place in a woman’s workwear shop than it would lining the racks at the swanky gym shop. Maybe it’s a soft fabric cardigan or a billowing mock-turtleneck lined in a sneaky sportcomfort fabric.

The Run Sweater Designed to look like true athletic wear, this piece often has a full or half front zip, slight elevation in the neck, maybe even a pair of thumbholes. This lightweight, lighthearted offering is designed to cue the message that you really ARE as busy as you seem.

The Effortless Top Sleeveless, capped, tee—pick the shape that’s most comfortable to you and just roll with it. Casual and neutral, it should be breathable and stretchy in a perfect day-to-play style.

The High-Comfort/High-Style Sneaker This clever shoe is here for all 10,000 of your daily steps and then some. It’s sleek and fashionable for daily wear, but has enough support to ease you into a light workout just the same.

The Pack-All Bag Keep it crossbody accommodating in a durable (and washable!) fabric, with a blend of easy-access, highsecurity pockets. Organization is key for this casual bag. It can be a messenger, a tote, or whatever silhouette you prefer.

The Minimalist Jewelry With a casual ensemble from head to toe, these baubles should be kept simple and clean while adding a little pop of shine. Consider a pair of huggie earrings, a thin tennis bracelet, or a delicate chain necklace with a lightweight emblem at its base. Without occupying too much body real estate, jewelry done with a light hand offers a great opportunity to further express yourself.

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Layering While the fabrics used in layering may not be as conducive to running everywhere from aerobics to Zumba as those of athleisure, this option comes with high style and easy wear. Denim today is a far cry from the rigid offerings of the past. Jegging fit provides all-day comfort and pairs just as beautifully with an easy tank top as with a wrap sweater. The idea behind layering is to create a wardrobe that exists as a chameleon in your daily life. Dress up or down, cool off or heat up, remove a longer layer for moving around and then put it back on for an appointment. Layering is the key to transitions—and transitions are the bread and butter kale and apple cider vinegar of a busy mom’s life. Season after season, this option is here to help. Whether it’s a sleeveless A-line dress and a light leather jacket in the spring or a chino pant with a V-neck sweater and forgiving boyfriend blazer in the fall, the option of a quick out-andabout outfit rewrite is essential. Pieces not to leave off your shopping list The Jegging Not to be confused with an actual legging printed with a faux-denim design, this piece should be a high-stretch, ultra-flattering, confident-inducing, comfort-accommodating denim. It should pull on easy, stay up, and be appropriate to wear from morning to night.

The Jegging-Fit Pant Same idea, different presentation. Black or colored pants with the utmost give and high presentation points. Grab a few variants to swap-in/swap-out for a quick outfit change.

The Jack-of-All-Trades Jacket This piece should be of a neutral color in a lightweight material and hold a minimalist style. It’s the kind of jacket you know you can just throw on with anything to keep a little warmer or cover up a bit more.

The Minimalist Top Plenty of options here for every season. Load up a few tank tops, slim-fit but not fitted. A few lightweight sweaters (in a range of colors and necklines), a casual tee, maybe even a printed one or two.

The Throw-On Dress A simple shift shape or the more form-flattering sheath. Either way, keep the fabrics forgiving and the silhouette easy to proportion with throw-ons, tie-ons, mix-ins, and more.

The Sizeable Crossbody Kick it up a notch from the sporty throw-on of the athleisure offering, but keep with the basic principles. The bag should be conducive to easy sorting and storing but hold enough sophistication to take you through the day into the early evening. Pebbled leathers (or their vegan alternatives) are a wonderful pick, wearing much better over time and adding a twinge of dressiness to your ensemble.

The Everywhere-and-in-Between Shoe Comfortable but designed to transition with your outfit, these should be a bit more elevated. Consider a more structured Oxford shoe (try one with a sport sole if you’re prone to knee issues or often carry heavy on your daily excursions!) or a smoking loafer for a freer-form shoe. Cooler months can always be met with the neutralcolored ankle bootie, and summer will favor a mule or sling-back kitten heel.

The Pop-of-Personality Accessory Fuller outfits leave room for jewelry to make more of a statement. Color, sparkle, shine. Chunky or thin. Long or short. A focal necklace is a fun add-in year round, a playful earring is a beautiful complement to a sleeked-back ponytail, and a bold cuff bracelet is a perfect choice when you go sleeveless. A belt is another option, breaking up the color palette of your upper and lower halves while also proportioning your body in a flattering way.

The Scarf Not the big bulky knit you bring on ski trips. This should be in a lightweight fabric and be an easy add-on accessory to change the look or color palette of your outfit in a pinch. It can keep you a little warmer and act as a wrap in a desperate moment, or simply serve as a flash of outfit contrast. Have fun with this—get some prints and some bolder colors.

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Lenox bodysuit by Alix NYC skirt by PE Nation ribbed sweater by Nagnata accessories by J.Crew curverunner sneaker by IRO

A clever variety, a mix-and-match mentality, and an artful hand at pairing will go a long way. Ultimately, the true ideal wardrobe for the busy mom is simply what makes her feel best—physically and mentally.

(left) jacket and short by Nila Logan Hunt cross body bag by Tory Burch tortoise earrings by Sterling Forever (right) jacket by Nila Logan Hunt pant by Y-3 Rosa sandal in Ice White Vacchetta by ATP ATELIER

On Fashioning a New Attitude in the African Woman words by Nikki Igbo

photos by Duque Photography

Christie Brown—fearless fashion FASHION OFTEN GETS LABELED as superficial, but its existence has never been

just about sporting a cute getup. Fashion is communication, expression, art. Particularly in Africa, where scores of handcrafted textiles have continued to tell the unique story of us for thousands of generations. That story has been admired and imitated around the globe for just as long—which is arguably both a good look and a key economic opportunity. According to a 2019 report by the Financial Times, the African fashion industry has an estimated value of $3 billion, and its entire value chain— from raw materials to final product—has the potential to easily reach $1 trillion. The key to capitalizing on this potential involves the development of outsource manufacturing infrastructure in African markets. It also requires the establishment of African fashion houses to market widely to consumers on the continent and establish reach throughout the rest of the world. Radiant touched base with acclaimed global luxury brand designer Aisha Ayensu as she combines her lifelong love of fashion with the feminist mystique to help realize the $1 trillion dream.

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To Summon the Power Hidden Within Do you know Christie Brown? She’s bold, determined, self-assured, and proudly African. She may not know all the details of her journey but she knows her destination, and she walks toward it with confidence. Her courage comes from knowing who she is. She is unique. She understands that her differences are beautiful. She realizes her strengths and wields them with wisdom. She is Conscience. She is Our Woman. She is a F(MEN)IST. And she was created by Aisha Ayensu to make sure every woman recognizes these same traits within herself. “Christie Brown is about getting the African woman to appreciate who she is and where she is from with such a deep sense that it gives her the confidence to break barriers in whatever field she is in,” Aisha offered as we chatted on a WhatsApp call.

status, accomplishments, and personal convictions. The techniques, meaning, and significance are legacy forms of communication, indicators of personal identity, and undeniable sources of cultural pride. As I browsed the Christie Brown site, I appreciated how Aisha’s creations interwove Ankara with European textiles to integrate African expression into the global fashion conversation. Though Ankara, or wax print, was originally a byproduct of the Dutch colonization of Indonesia, the fabric made its way to West African shores during the late 1800s where it was adopted into African apparel and quickly infused with traditional African symbolism. Over time, Ankara became African, and the way the fabric communicates the African story lies at the core of Aisha’s brand mission.

“I believe that we African women have the latent power to change negative perception of the continent and portray our culture in the best possible light. We This sense of fearlessness, as Aisha explained, is not know where we come from. We know the wealth of about trying to impress people. Rather, it’s about the continent and the individual countries from which owning the audacity to take chances without fear. we hail. If we can just feel that sense of pride, embody Aisha wants every Christie Brown creation to inspire it, embrace it, and take it out into the world, imagine that energy in women. I love her passion about this what we can do.” pursuit; it’s evident in her clothing. Her She is King AW19 collection features an array of looks for the The Birth of a Brand female go-getter—from blouses with exaggerated sleeves and ballooned trousers to sleek Ankara blazers Time and again I have found that the brilliant women matched with delicately embroidered skirts. The mood I’ve interviewed for Radiant developed their careers based on passions lovingly influenced by a parent or is sovereign, lux, dynamic. grandparent. Aisha is no different. Christie Brown is “Women have told me that they wear their Christie named after Aisha’s grandmother, a prolific seamstress Brown jacket when they attend an intimidating meeting who regularly designed and crafted brilliant, bold because it gives them a sense of confidence. They apparel made from wax print. While watching her take that [energy] into the boardroom and are able to grandmother create, Aisha developed her own design deliver,” she divulged. “Now one might say that it’s just talents and was often tapped by friends for outfit ideas a jacket, but it’s not just that. What you wear, how you to take to their tailors. look, and how you feel has such a great impact on what Aisha wanted to attend fashion school but was reluctant you can achieve.” to saddle her parents with the cost of a London College As Aisha spoke, I recognized this consciousness and of Fashion or Parson School of Design education, determination to wear it, sport it, flaunt it. I thought of which ran as high as £49,000 and $60,000 respectively. scarification, tattoos, body paint, and braided hairstyles. She opted instead to attend the University of Ghana Carefully wrapped turbans, dhukus, and geles. Elaborate (Legon) and study psychology. Her logic for doing so masks and headdresses adorned with glass beads and was as sensible as a comfortable pair of flats. cowry shells. Necklaces, bracelets, and anklets made of coral, ivory, gold, and brass. I’d seen it in the Kente of “There’s a bit of psychology in every field; most disthe Ashanti, the Ukara of the Igbo, the Barkcloth of the ciplines have a psychology foundation. Understanding Baganda, and the Shweshwe of the Xhosa. I knew it was why people make the choices they do has always inalive in the Aso oke of the Yoruba and in the Bogolanfini trigued me. I never thought of psychology as a career. It was just one of those stepping stones that was broad of the Bambara. and multifaceted enough for me to have a footing in These handcrafted adornments and textiles are derived and be able to work in any field.” from African nature, perspective, and creativity. The crafting process, patterns, symbols, and colors each During her last year at Legon, Aisha took a chance used to express a complex history of heritage, social and committed herself to pursuing fashion as a career.

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AISHA AYENSU

“I believe that we African women have the latent power to change negative perception of the continent and portray our culture in the best possible light.”

Actually, taking a chance is putting it lightly. When or wondering if I’ve done everything right. I have a Aisha launched Christie Brown in 2008, she did not have renewed lease on life.” a fashion degree or any industry experience whatsoever. She didn’t know how to sew. She didn’t possess a Can’t Do Motherhood without ME dedicated work space. She didn’t have a committed team of tailors who fully understood her vision for her Like many other moms, Aisha struggled through a fashion brand. Realizing that she needed more than phase of constantly second-guessing and questioning passion to succeed, she enrolled at Vogue Style School herself once her children were born. of Fashion (presently known as Joyce Ababio College of Creative Design) where she learned garment “I went through a period where my self-confidence dipped. construction as well as the fashion industry landscape. I wondered if I was still attractive, if I was as intelligent as I thought I was, if I was truly a talented designer.” A year after launching, Aisha presented Christie Brown at the Arise Africa Fashion Week in Johannesburg, We dwelled a bit on this phenomenon of motherhood— where she won the Emerging Designer of the Year realizing the full weight of bringing a completely award. In 2010, Christie Brown was the sole Ghanaian defenseless being into the world without an instruction label to showcase at the Arise L’Afrique-á-Porter in manual. This truth hits harder than that first contraction Paris as part of Paris Fashion Week. That same year, and hurts just as much. she sat on the panel for “African Fashion Going Global” at Columbia University’s Africa Economic Forum. “I felt as if I was not equipped to do this [parenting]. It even affected how I dressed. I didn’t want to be at In 2012, Aisha participated in the International Visitor the forefront of the brand a lot of the time. I wanted Leadership Program, the U.S. State Department’s people to know about Christie Brown, but I didn’t want premier professional exchange plan. That same year, to take interviews. It was weird, but I pray a lot and Alicia Keys wore a Christie Brown fringe necklace for I continued to pray and work on my spirit because I Vibe Magazine. In 2013 and 2014, Aisha produced could not stay at that low point.” costumes for An African City and dressed the dancers of Beyoncé’s Mrs. Carter Show World Tour. These career Aisha shared how God reminded her of her purpose. milestones led to more shows, collections, and honors, She remembered what she was called to do, the impact including being named Best Fashion Designer at the she wanted to make, and the goals she wanted to 2018 African Prestigious Awards and African Designer achieve. She began to feel better about herself and was of the Year at the 2018 and 2019 Glitz Style Awards. able to slowly lift herself back up. And she accomplished all of this while getting married and raising three kids under the age of 6. “It was about me and how I was feeling. Not the kids. I needed to get myself to bounce back so that I could I asked Aisha how she managed to balance maintaining be the kind of mother my kids needed. I’m still going her personal identity and fashion sense with being a through that process.” mom. No, men don’t get asked how they balance parenting with anything else going on in their lives, but Another detail that moved Aisha through her phase of I know the brunt of childcare typically falls on mothers, uncertainty is the supportive partner she has in her husband. and I’m always open to good advice. “He’s not the typical guy with the attitude that men Aisha answered honestly: “You know what? I’m still don’t do this or men don’t do that. We share in this trying to figure it out. But it’s really by God’s hand. responsibility of raising our kids and he is my rock. He I feel more purposeful than just changing diapers continuously pushes me to achieve higher heights and

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is all-around amazing. But at the end of the day, it was really about me, which was more than just putting on nice heels or dressing up to feel okay. It’s working on myself from inside. It’s a mindset shift and not allowing that uncertain feeling to linger. I gained myself back.” We agreed about how convention convinces women that motherhood is about ending your life to support your child’s. Any other way seems somehow selfish, but that’s not how this motherhood thing works. “I’m a person. I have to be me before I’m a mom. They’re a part of my story just as I am a part of their story, but that doesn’t mean I need to put everything on hold and pour my whole self into these other lives. I don’t think that’s why God created us. I don’t think our sole purpose in this world is to be a mom and be the best mom ever.” We both came to understand that motherhood is about understanding that we already have everything we need to do right by our children. They need us to live with the commitment of birthing and nursing the best version of ourselves within ourselves. After all, our kids are made of us. Everybody Ought to Be a Feminist Aisha and I also agreed that as the mother of two boys each, we need to be our own women. “Our boys need to see inner strength in their parents. This helps to build their self-confidence as well as how they see women. They should see women as being the strong beacon in the room. With juggling a business and home, you may not always get it right, but possessing that inner strength in spite of it all—that’s what they need to see.” Christie Brown is a clothing line that exudes this idea completely, and I was curious to know why Aisha had no qualms about saying the “f” word or positioning her brand as feminist.

in Christie Brown specifically because it also reflects who she is and where she came from. Throughout her childhood, Aisha’s parents raised her and her older brother as equals. “I don’t think they were deliberate about it. It’s just who they are. My parents lived that. My dad treated my mom as an equal. I saw my mom work all of my life—she was a career woman. And my dad had a job. They were peers. They shared some political views and their debates were so healthy and rich. I watched my dad treat my mom as a fellow human being. Whatever my brother could do, I could do, and vice versa. They both allowed us to make our own choices and just be our best selves. They gave us a great gift in providing that environment. It made me feel the need to empower other women to be comfortable with being themselves.” And that’s exactly what Aisha aims to do as she grows the Christie Brown brand into an African-based fashion powerhouse: “The whole point is to grow this global brand out of Africa.” This goal is a barrier-breaking mission in and of itself. As of yet, there has not been a fashion label based and produced in Africa that has achieved household recognition throughout the continent and around the world. “Without case studies and enough data to mimic what another African brand has done, we have to plot our own course every day. We’re going to press on and build a solid global brand with a wider reach. Not just in Ghana and Nigeria, but across the pond with more accessibility to women around the world.” Aisha is proud that Christie Brown is an African brand that represents the continent and its people. Aisha is also dedicated to providing honest, decent work for local artisans, both by reinterpreting their craft to make it more relevant to the modern woman and by keeping demand for their skill set high. Still, she also understands that Africa is Mom and that all of the women of the world are her daughters.

“Some people feel as if there are all these boxes they need to check to be a feminist. If you really want to see women treated as equally as men, be paid the same wages for the same job, and be respected and regarded as any other “Yes, we started a brand for the African woman and to human being, then that’s what feminism is and we are all develop that strong sense of self within her with how feminists. I just want the world to realize that women are we use our traditional cloth and so on. But that same just as capable.” sentiment is relevant to women all around the world, period. Grooming that sense of self-confidence and Aisha went on to clarify that feminism does not mean self-worth so that she can simply be isn’t only about the that women are better than men. “We have our unique African continent but also the woman in her own right, differences as men and women, and that’s okay. None of and that drives us all day.” those differences make one gender superior to the other.” To learn more about the various African-inspired collections Aisha is adamant about articulating this sense of equality of Christie Brown, visit christiebrownonline.com.

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radiant finds fashion. function. FUNCTIONAL STYLES AND ACCESSORIES TO SPRUCE UP YOUR WARDROBE

siness

1. Mented Essential Balconette Bra in Bantu $54 From their original nude lipsticks to eyeshadow palettes to blushes, each of Mented's products is perfectly pigMented to match your skin tones. Mented wants all women, from light to tan to dark skin tones, to feel like they have makeup that actually works for their complexions. All lipsticks are vegan, paraben-free, non-toxic and cruelty free. mentedcosmetics.com

2. Ashya Cherai Utility Belt Bag $54 ASHYA exists as a vehicle to diversify cultural perspectives through broadly researched narratives and design. By documenting and sharing cultural stories, and designing multifunctional accessories, we hope to help the modern day explorer move more thoughtfully and fluidly throughout the world. Each collection emerges as an “ode to exploration”, a motto that speaks to the process of understanding a diverse array of cultural narratives. Ashya.co

3. We Dream in Colour Iri Pavi Earrings $102 In 2002, Jade Gedeon decided to put her artful background to work to create wonderful things. She has since sought to offer accessories that range from the quirky to the elegantly refined. The pieces are witty, surprising and fashioned to stand out from the crowd—ensuring the wearer sparkles from season to season. wedreamincolour.com

4. Sincerely, Tommy Square Toe Slides $90 Sincerely, Tommy is a Brooklyn-based lifestyle store focused on emerging womenswear, lifestyle brands, & community. The chic shop offers an eye-fetching assortment of apparel, jewelry, and footwear sincerelytommy.com

5.Joanna Vanderpuije Caroline Shoulder Bag in silver and coral $385 (£325) Made of vegetable-tanned, medium weight Belgium leather, each bag is printed with silver foil and eco-pigments. These hand cut and hand saddle-stitched receptacles use natural linen thread prepared with organic wax. Suspended from a slim adjustable silver leather shoulder strap, the bag also features silver metal fittings and edges burnished to create a smooth finish. Strong and light, the must-have accessory will age beautifully over time. joannavanderpuije.com

BEAUTY

SECTION

photography by Ahmad Barber model Felicia of Select Models Atlanta styling by Ray C'Mone make-up by Christine Dompier-Vazquez hair by Andy Buckmire Feather-trimmed cotton bustier top by Christopher John Rogers accessories courtesy Ray C'Mone 138

RADIANT HEALTH № 13 The Taboo Issue

BEAUT Y

page 140.

A NEW STANDARD OF BLACK BEAUTY Black beauty—who decides? page 144.

INTERVIEW TOKS FAHM AJAYI Nurturing beauty from the inside out

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A New Standard of Black Beauty words by Clarissa Bannor

Black beauty—who decides?

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WHEN I WAS GROWING UP in Maryland in the ’90s, my

mother used to harp on how beautiful my front teeth gap was. She said in Ghana, where she is from, it is a symbol of beauty. She insisted I keep it, when all I wanted to do was have it closed to stop the incessant teasing I endured in fourth grade. At my American elementary school, what I had were just buck teeth, nothing special.

RADIANT HEALTH № 15 The Motherhood Issue

photography by Ahmad Barber model Felicia of Select Models Atlanta styling by Ray C'Mone make-up by Christine Dompier-Vazquez hair by Andy Buckmire Tie-dyed plissé-lamé wide-leg pants and top by Semsem

A NEW STANDARD OF BLACK BEAUTY

My mother also loved the natural rings around my neck, the dark lines formed from what I assume were old baby fat creases. She wasn’t the only one who fawned over what she affectionately called “cut neck”; the older African women who visited my mom’s hair salon did too. These African aunties who came in for their weekly shampoo and set left me with short-lived self-assuredness about how I looked.

“I grew up in a world where a woman who looks like me, with my kind of skin and my kind of hair, was never considered to be I believed it was a setup the way they affirmed beautiful. I think that it is time some of my weirdest features—things I hated about myself—only to have reality smack me in the face that that stops today.”

when I got back to school. I chalked it up to my aunties just being old-school African women who couldn’t possibly know what beauty was. Their idea of beauty seemed to be more Esther Rolle from Good Times than Phylicia Rashad on The Cosby Show, who I thought was the finest woman to walk the earth.

— Zozibini Tunzi Black women are having a moment, and Black beauty is being celebrated on a global scale. Sometimes I wish I could bottle up this Black girl magic—the joy, fanfare, and confidence Black women are enjoying presently—and save it for my daughters in case this trend doesn’t last. But then, sometimes I don’t. Because despite all this fanfare, the media still dictates what kind of brown beauty deserves to be celebrated: loose curl patterns, Sudanese super-dark ebony skin, brown skin with slight features and narrow hips. Bubble booties and thick lips. Hazel eyes.

So much of how we define beauty is still dictated by what we see in the media. According to the article “Prime-time Prejudice: TV’s Images of Blacks and Hispanics,” published in Public Opinion, from 1955 to 1986 only 6% of characters on prime-time television were portrayed by African Americans, and that “among these African-American characters, 19% lacked a high school diploma and 47% were low in economic status.” Claire Huxtable changed the game with her shiny, bouncy hair, sable skin, and bright Our beauty is so diverse that sometimes it’s easier smile, as well as her ability to articulate her cutting to deem what’s being celebrated in the moment as wit and intelligence in both English and Spanish. She “beautiful” than to appreciate what we’ve got. In her was an anomaly—the kind of Black woman worthy refusal to get me braces, my mom was teaching me of celebration. For every Black girl like me, Claire this all along. She and my aunties weren’t setting was #goals long before hashtags were a thing, and her me up; they were helping me see the beauty in my beauty was aspirational. perceived flaws. It’s the only way we get a say in what’s considered beautiful—by normalizing our Fast-forward to the new millennium, which brought own beauty, we expand the definition and diversity of an increase in Black representation on television. beauty everywhere. According to the 2018 UCLA Social Sciences Hollywood Diversity Report, despite comprising If we all had straight teeth, model Slick Woods only 13% percent of the population, “Blacks were wouldn’t be killing runways with her beautiful gap. overrepresented among actors in broadcast scripted If we all bleached our skin, Alek Wek wouldn’t have shows in 2015-16, claiming 17% of the roles.” This made a way for Lupita Nyongo and Zozibini to shine. increase in Black representation brought with it Black Beauty is as boundless as fashion is fickle. Beauty women of different sizes, skin tones, and hair textures. standards are always changing, whether steeped in We now get to see the gamut of Black beauty on our colorism or dictated by culture. television screens, in magazines, and online. For the first time in beauty pageant history, we witnessed all My mother and all the Black women in my life—real and four major pageants crown Black women, with South fictional, in print or on television—showed me a spectrum Africa’s kinky-haired, chocolate-skinned Zozibini of beautiful women with melanated skin. The best thing Tunzi winning Miss Universe 2019. I can do as a mother of brown girls is to confidently love everything about myself. It’s the best lesson a Black mom can give her Black daughters: that sometimes Black beauty isn’t universal, but the confidence needed to face the world unapologetically is.

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photos by Nick Marfing for ALTAMIRA Film Co. words by Chinyere Amobi

BEAUTY

FOR SKIN CARE ENTREPRENEUR Toks Fahm Ajayi, beauty is far more than skin deep. Both in her personal life and through her skin care line, Skôt Beauté, Toks strives to spread the idea that beauty begins within and should be nurtured from the inside out. After motherhood and a busy career led her to put her own interests and self-care on the back burner, Toks founded Skôt Beauté as a way to return to herself and help other women do the same.

Radiant Health: What inspired your transition from financial analyst to beauty entrepreneur? Toks Fahm Ajayi: I was a financial analyst for about 22 years, but I’ve actually always been a beauty lover. Although I was born in the United States, I have a Nigerian background, and we all know the concoctions our grandmas used to make. I’ve always had a fascination about how women make that connection with themselves. That oneness. So, I always knew that you have to take care of your skin: wash your face, protect it with moisturizers, and use masks. As an adult, I would go to Europe—especially France—and see an array of skin care products that I was curious about. I’ve always been interested in the power of ingredients, products that pull you in and make you feel like you’re where you were

when you bought them. I also developed a love of going to the spa. It’s one indulgence that I know I’ll never give up. Women are known for taking care of everyone else. When I was in my 20s it was different; I would travel and go places, and I just loved what I was doing. Even though I graduated with a marketing degree, I worked as an account specialist in my first job out of college, and that started my journey toward being a financial analyst. I became very busy and I eventually got married and had kids, and the things that were once normal for me, like taking time for myself and traveling, were put on the back burner. It hit me one day that everyone else was good, but for me something was missing. My hair was falling out and my tranquility was gone. I started breaking out a lot, I think because of having kids. Every time my acne cleared away it left scars of hyperpigmentation. This was something I never used to care about, and it made me self-conscious. I became concerned and very aware of the changes I was going through, and felt very low during this time. Finally I said one day, “Why am I stressing about what I have on my face when I’m looking at my beautiful children? I still look like myself. Something on the outside might not look 100%, but why don’t I focus on getting back to the me that I once was?” So, I decided I was going to create my own skin care line with products that were more about how I was feeling on the inside, things that nurtured my soul. Obviously I wanted the products to be able to produce clear skin, but the number one thing I wanted to focus on was my mental state, getting back to the me I was—the fun-loving, treating-herself, traveling woman. I wanted to make products where if I’m home, I can use them and feel like I’m at the spa. If I can do that and actually touch one person’s soul, then I’ve done my job. I wanted Skôt to be a place where everyone felt comfortable, a skin care line that combined the best things: travel, spa, and the ingredients I grew up with. That’s how it all started.

SkÔt Beauté products by Toks Fahm Ajayi

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“I have daughters and I want them to understand that whatever way you are, that’s it...you have to own what you have and work with it.” RH: How did growing up in an African household fuel your passion for natural beauty products? TFA: I was lucky enough that when I was 6, I moved back to Nigeria. So, I spent nine years of my life in Nigeria. Even though my mom favors Clinique beauty products, when I lived on Lagos Island, my grandma would always say things like, “You have to use charcoal in your toothpaste to make your teeth white,” or “Your skin’s ashy, rub some coconut oil on that!” So, it was always around, regardless of whatever European products you had. I took to it. When I had my kids, I’d make a concoction of shea butter, coconut oil, and sometimes turmeric and rub it on my belly for stretch marks. The love of all of this really came about from growing up with my mom, aunts, and grandma. RH: Where did you come up with the name Skôt Beauté? TFA: That’s just my name backwards, with a little French flair on the “o” to help with pronunciation. This company tells my story, and this was a way to show that without all the attention on me. It also happens to be the initials of me, my husband, and my two girls, so it worked out perfectly. RH: In what ways has your global perspective influenced what ingredients you feature within Skôt Beauté? TFA: The ingredients are representative of beauty rituals I’ve seen around the world. For example, in Africa they use coconut oil and shea butter. In Asia they use ingredients like rice bran and jasmine. In Egypt they use certain oils for their faces. The different ingredients I use are representative of the places I’ve been and the rituals I actually practice. Skôt Beauté is a simple skin care line where, whatever region you’re from, you can recognize

one or two ingredients from your part of the world. I’m a Black woman, but I wanted my line to be for everyone and acknowledge that we’re all beautiful in the skin we’re in. We’re all looking for something that makes us feel good and look good. With Skôt Beauté, you’ll find ingredients that take you on a journey. RH: What sets Skôt Beauté apart from other beauty brands? TFA: Skôt Beauté is mostly about nurturing your soul. The focus isn’t about changing anything on you; we’re all beautiful in whatever skin we’re in. I know what I went through before I created Skôt. A lot of things go on in our heads that are so unnecessary. You have a baby, you’re always on the go, traveling, working in a fastpaced environment, and slowly but surely you forget yourself. I have daughters and I want them to understand that whatever way you are, that’s it. Even as my children, you’re not going to have the same features; you have to own what you have and work with it. There’s nothing wrong with enhancing, but if your skin is well nurtured, if your skin looks good, trust me, you feel great on the inside. And that’s the message I want to come across from this brand. It’s not about the acne on your face. The products are really good and they work, but the first thing I want you to take out of it is, “This is for me. I’m nurturing my soul and taking the time out for myself.” I think that’s what sets us apart.

RH: How has motherhood influenced your concept of beauty? TFA: Oh my God, a lot. Eighty percent of the time I’m confident with who I am and have a good understanding of myself, which is partly due to my mom. But I knew the message I wanted to extend to my kids. What I see out there in the media is overwhelming. All the things I do,

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the choices I make, I think of them. Even the words I use about myself. I’ll say things carelessly, like that my thighs are fat, and then stop and remind myself that I have a 15-year-old child nearby. Kids—whatever they hear, they will repeat it eventually. I have to be extra cautious. Kids are still going to do what they’re going to do, but I make sure that at least they have that voice in the back of their head. I’m very mindful of the message that I set forth with them.

have to go anywhere. And I just listen for the birds. That makes my day right there.

RH: How have you worked to instill confidence in your daughters, in a world with very Eurocentric beauty standards?

RH: Can you share some quick and simple tips for building your own at-home beauty routine for natural, glowing skin?

TFA: I tell them they’re beautiful as they are and not to let anyone tell them any differently. Even something as simple as their name. Make sure people pronounce it properly, and don’t let anyone cut corners. You can’t go forward on the perception people have of you; you have to give them the perception of how you want them to see you. The number one thing I want them to know is how to own and love who they are and to be kind. I just want to be a good example before the world changes their perception of what beauty should be.

TFA: Beauty comes from the inside out. When you eat well and drink enough water, it shines through. Plus, we’re in the world of the internet, and there are so many products out there. When you feel inundated, I say stick to the basics: if you have a good cleanser and a good moisturizer, you’re good.

RH: How can Black women, especially Black mothers, still make time for themselves when their schedules are too tight for a spalike experience? TFA: We just have to make that time. Nobody expected COVID-19. There are so many people that were here before that are no longer here. I’m a realistic optimist, but at the end of the day you have to take care of yourself. If you have the time to cook for your family, make sure deadlines are met, create a business, or wake up to a 9-to-5 job, you have 30 minutes to dedicate to yourself. Even if it’s just twice a week. There are so many little things we can do to bring tranquility into our lives, because we really need it. Women do a lot. We serve as mother, caretaker, chauffeur, cook, therapist, hairdresser, and fashion stylist. We have to find time within that for ourselves. When was the last time you went for a walk outside? Or sat down and enjoyed things that you’ve done just for yourself? You can’t pull from an empty well. Create the spa experience of taking care of yourself with the things you have at home. Create that space. Some mornings I put on good music and sit in my living room, which has a window facing a tree outside that takes me to a space where I feel like I’m out in nature. But I didn’t really

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I know we’re always on the go, but just take that 30 minutes or one hour, because if you don’t take care of yourself, no one else will. I want to raise my kids and have time with them and be that fun mom they look up to, who looks like she had a good life and took care of herself.

Aside from products you can buy, we have everything in our kitchen. You can make a good body scrub out of raw sugar and coconut oil. Rub that all over your body before you get in the shower, then close the door and give yourself a nice scrub. Just like that, you’ve given yourself a mini massage and cleansed your body of dead skin. Brown sugar is also good for your lips, paired with something like Vaseline. It really works. Another idea for Vaseline? In the evening after taking a shower I like to rub it on my feet, put on the coziest socks I can find, and leave it on until the morning. You can also use that sugar scrub on your feet, rubbing them with a mesh cleansing cloth. With something as simple as a good bath, in 10 minutes you can feel like you’re in the spa with that steam coming out and hitting your face. Afterward, slap on a mask. You have oatmeal in your pantry. Mix oatmeal with lemon and honey and put it on your face for a mask that soothes. Honey is also good for taking out impurities. If you want a nice glow, you can also try egg whites and lemon. Put this on your face for 10 minutes. I recently tried turmeric with a little bit of tomato, which has natural vitamin C. You can either slash a tomato and rub it on your face and leave it for 10 minutes, or add turmeric (and make sure you’re not wearing white). This can be good for acne too. I love my concoctions! Learn more about the Skôt Beauté at skotbeaute.com.

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page 152.

INTERVIEW PHILLIPPA YAA DE VILLIERS On adoption, identity, and acceptance

CULTURE CULTURE ON THE GO page 158.

Cultural self care for turbulent times

CULTURE

Award-Winning Poet

Phillippa Yaa de Villiers ON ADOPTION, IDENTITY, AND ACCEPTANCE

words by Nikki Igbo

Since publishing Taller than Buildings in 2006, performance artist, screenwriter, and poet Phillippa Yaa de Villiers has made a habit of capturing raw personal experience and perspective in poetry, prose, plays, and one-woman performances. Her often autobiographical creations have garnered her global recognition as well as awards and accolades including the National Arts Festival/de Buren Writing Beyond the Fringe Prize and a South African Literary Award. Radiant was fortunate to connect with the incredibly artistic, emotionally generous, and utterly engaging wordsmith just as the world went indoors to take shelter from a runaway virus.

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photo by Suzy Bernstein

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The Wizardry of Words

government. These developments also moved Phillippa closer to a deeper knowledge of herself. She could be a full citizen, and her own shade of Black.

With language we may tell our truth in concrete towers built high with facts and figures, reaching toward a precise and finite permanence. Or we may “In 1996, we got the right to find out more about speak in the abstract, weaving our truth in metaphor our biological parents,” she explained. “We were and simile, inviting others to add to that tapestry, and allowed to see their names on our birth certificate be comforted by the warmth of shared experience. and the signature of the mother who had given us While the former may provide a sense of security, the up. After that, I had something real, something more latter allows for the kind of magic that is mightier tangible than what my adopted parents had given— all the photographs and school reports and all these and more enduring than any stone edifice. ephemera from childhood. I always felt that was fake Poetry is that sorcery, and those who craft it are because it was not who I really was, which was Black.” trusted and necessary. Phillippa Yaa de Villiers is one such sorceress; the facts and figures of her life She spoke all of this in a tone that clearly denoted undeniably establish this. The unplanned child of a how much work she had done to make peace with white Australian mom and a Black Ghanaian father, her past and be at ease with her present. She’d Phillippa was born in 1966 in apartheid South Africa done this work in poem after poem, writing after during a time when her very existence was illegal. writing, performance after performance. This was This was in the early days of Nelson Mandela’s proof positive that a difficult journey did not have imprisonment, just before assassination ended Prime Minister Hendrik Verwoerd’s ruthless reign. Phillippa was placed in an adoption home, where she was adopted at the age of 9 months by a white couple. Her adoptive parents raised their obviously mixed-race child as white, assuring her for two decades that her dissimilar features had somehow spawned from their homogeneous coupling.

“There is a purpose to this pain... It is something that I can heal from, partly by sharing it.”

to be an impossible one. This was confirmation that Phillippa did not recount these details of her personal the trauma of a lost heritage is a terrible burden history during our conversation; I’d read them in a made lighter when shared. In addition to the sheer poem she had penned years earlier. The poem’s words beauty of her words, this is also what her readers and were pensive and inquisitive, like the child I imagined audience connect with. she had been. In the poem, Phillippa managed to make pretty and palatable a most complicated pain. “There is a purpose to this pain,” said Phillippa. “It is I was thankful that she’d written and shared it, and something that I can heal from, partly by sharing it. even more appreciative that she didn’t shy away from When people relate, I get relieved and I hope others get relieved too.” delving deeper into its source. “It took me a long time to find the words and selfbelief to tell the story from my point of view, because it was a secret that was kept from me,” Phillippa confided. “I felt like a fantasy, like a dream. [Poet] Jackie Kay says it so brilliantly: ‘I felt like a story someone else was telling.’”

I leaned closer to my computer screen, hoping that Phillippa knew we were speaking the language of sisters, eagerly anticipating what enchanted dust she would sprinkle next.

Phillippa grew up with the persistent question of identity in her heart, never quite buying in to the life her adoptive parents had constructed, until her adoptive father revealed the truth.

With the revelation of her true origin, Phillippa was arguably born anew. But we all know the toil that comes with birth, and Phillippa’s rebirth into Blackness proved just as laborious—and at times, rather humorous.

Dancing on the Downbeat

After the transition from apartheid to democracy, South Africa became a macrocosm of Phillipa’s “My adoptive father said, ‘All we know is that your personal narrative, an internal struggle to right what mother was Australian.’ So I thought I must be a had been wrong. Mandela’s release from prison and Black person from Australia. I must be Aboriginal.” his subsequent presidency ushered in the complete She recounted this with what must have been the repeal of apartheid law and the creation of a new same joyous smile she’d beamed back then.

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As Phillippa navigated her way through a degree in dramatic art and scriptwriting, as well as studies in mime and theatre, she nourished her tenuous Australian connection with every morsel of Aboriginal culture she could grasp. “I learned how to play the didgeridoo. I can make the sound, but I can’t do the circular breathing,” she admitted. “I was in the Dreamtime. I was reading books about the Dreamtime, thinking about going walkabout and all of that.” We both giggled at her confession, and I was reminded of the all times I’d watched Shaka Zulu and the many African t-shirts and medallions I’d collected to somewhat reclaim my lost roots. Phillippa continued, “I just always felt like I was performing some fantasy about belonging to something, and I just wanted to feel authentic, and I just thought, Fake it until you make it. After considering the possibility that I may be African and not Aboriginal, as I had previously thought, I began wearing African clothes for the first couple of years that l lived in the United States. I was working on a film by Charles Burnett called To Sleep with Anger. I went to set barefoot. I wore African bangles around my ankles and was just this kind of hippie type.”

Promises in the Beginning There’s something about motherhood that prompts us to extend grace to all mothers. As our conversation continued, I was eager to understand how Phillippa’s adoptive mother rationalized her Black daughter’s life in white South Africa. Phillippa, who is herself a mother, remained candid but also spoke of her adoptive mother with such thoughtful consideration. “She always told me that I was different,” Phillippa began. “But I didn’t want to be different, I wanted to be the same. She said that I couldn’t be like everyone else because I’ve got more imagination than these other people: ‘They’re just stupid. They can’t think beyond anything else.’ That was kind of a very beautiful thing she gave me.

“But the problem was that she was quite politically conservative. When it came to the reality of my life, as soon as I opened my front door, I was not able to negotiate my life the way she could. She just told me that I was better than everyone, cleverer than everyone, more beautiful than anyone, and that I was definitely not Black. I was not a Negro, African, mixed. She thought I was Indian, and that was much easier for her because she really admired Asian people and believed they were Eventually Phillippa did connect with her biological the top of humankind. In her later years, she also started parents and learned that her Blackness came from her to explore Africa and discover more about African father by way of West Africa. “He told me he was from civilizations and was equally fascinated, but she was Ghana, and I could finally let go of the fantasy I’d been certain that I could not be African.” living for 14 years as an Aboriginal.” Phillippa went on to explain that her adoptive mother had Phillippa’s year in Los Angeles at the age of 22 supplied been quite an important scientist who’d made significant more instances in Blackness, some more positive than others. contributions to evolutionary science in South Africa but was never given the recognition she deserved. On the one hand, her exposure to writers of the African diaspora afforded her a certain comfort and familiarity. “She was in a lot of denial about her position as a “I read Zora Neale Hurston and I was like, finally, this is white South African. She was quite damaged from her me, this is who I am. It was wonderful! So liberating! I experience because her family was German, and during finally felt seen and realized I’d been invisible for such World War II she was ostracized because of it. A very a long time.” complicated person, actually.” On the other hand, Blackness can often be relegated to Still, Phillippa recalled the assurances her adoptive a narrow definition. Phillippa learned this at a nightclub mother shared in the face of the racially charged taunts with a fellow South African who happened to be white. Phillippa received as a girl. They’d been enjoying their time on the dance floor with an African American man when he asked where Phillippa “She used to say to me, ‘People are horrible. They were and her friend hailed from. When Phillippa insisted that horrible to me too. Ignore them. Don’t worry about both she and her friend were South African, the man was them.’ She had this deep cynicism about society. But confused as to how a white woman could be African. what I wanted was to be close to people and to like people. The main thing she gave me was to believe in “I was really naïve about how African Americans call my imagination, trust imagination, value imagination.” themselves African without knowing where they’re from. I said, ‘She is African,’ and he was furious. He told We then exchanged stats on our respective sons—her me, ‘You dance on the upbeat, Girl.’ I spent the next ten one college-aged baby and my two preschool-aged tots. years trying to dance on the downbeat, like what did I do wrong? I felt like I wasn’t Black enough. As if I always “My intentions were that he should think of himself as have to try to be Blacker.” human before he thought of any racial aspect,” explained

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Phillippa. “His father is a white Afrikaner. We also separated when he was about 6 or 7, so he grew up between our two households. And I think that still quite perpetuated the apartheid thing, because it was the white world and the Black world. As he came more into my environment, there were increasingly more and more Black people. “Most of the time, we try to just downplay race. We don’t want it to be the thing that determines our relationship with other people. But we’re quite damaged. We’re quite wounded and it keeps bubbling out. As a child, I think it was quite hard for him.” Phillippa’s single motherhood took place in the inner city where there were very few white people. She came to realize that she’d given her son the exact reverse of what she’d experienced during her youth—the state of being the lone “other” swimming in a sea of similarity.

to take me. Nowadays I think the cutoff age is 50. But I wouldn’t mind having a baby—I like them.” She said this last sentence with such a huge smile and sweetness of spirit, and in that moment I wished for a world that could somehow perfectly unite all pure hearts in need of each other without the complication of age or origin as a requisite. As for Phillippa, she will continue to create, adding to her three volumes of poetry, a small but growing number of published prose pieces, and various original plays, including her now-retired autobiographical one-woman show Original Skin, which toured throughout South Africa as well as in Zimbabwe and Germany.

On her decision to end the show’s run, Phillippa explained, “There’s something about a 54-year-old flipping around on the stage as a 6-year-old, because [the show depicts] “The thing is, I don’t think his friends think of him as white. all my different ages. It just becomes a little bit, I don’t They’re just different, this generation. We’re still trying to know—I think it’s a bit hard for the audience to really work out our human values.” suspend their disbelief.” I Belong to This Amazing World I asked Phillippa about her feelings on adoption. “When I started looking for my birth parents, I went back to the [adoption] home where I came from and there was an adoptee support group. That was the first time I really engaged with the reality of it. I quickly decided that [what had happened] was fine. It’s in the past, I had my son, and I was looking forward to the future with my son. But this year, for my birthday, I wanted to go back there, so I did. It was very moving. It was a little bit painful, actually, to be there. I’ve reached a point now where I’m strong enough to allow myself to feel and really allow the memory of what it must have been like to be me as a baby in that home. “I want to go back more. It was beautiful. Adopted babies, a lot of the time, don’t get enough touching,” Phillippa pointed out. “Children are stimulated by touch. Babies are stimulated by touch. What you find is that they’ve given up crying; they hardly ever cry. And they just lie there in their cots. I wanted to go ahead and spend a couple of hours and hold them and see if I could just tickle them a little bit out of their fear.” I asked Phillippa if she had ever considered being an adoptive parent. “I’m a bit too old to adopt now,” she said. “I don’t think they’d give me a baby. When my mother adopted me, she was too old; she was 42. They only gave me to her because they didn’t know what to do with me and she was willing

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The prolific artist hinted at a long poem in the works, more poetry, and more personal growth. “I’m writing poems and trying to be a better poet. I want to be better; I want to get better at not just internal feelings. We live in a world that’s beautiful and terrible—and there’s all kinds of things. We did this thing on Saturday night ... set up an online poetry session on Zoom. There were 16 featured poets from South Africa, Kenya, Ghana, the United States, and the UK. It was just the most amazing thing to hear all these poets.” We chatted on for nearly three hours, with Phillippa even giving me an impromptu interview and further demonstrating her drive to know and understand all the colors of our complex world. It was wonderful to connect and to share our impressions of life in the time of the coronavirus. To appreciate our ability and willingness to find common ground. To understand that family, despite all the problems of life, is and can always be created in more ways than one. And on this subject of common ground and belonging, Phillippa shared with me a formative experience from her twenties. “I was standing on a bus once in South Central Los Angeles and the bus driver said, ‘Who’s that beautiful young Black woman?’ And I was like, Wow! He’s talking about me! He was saying it out loud, and I just wanted to go and shout at my parents and say, ‘You see? I’m Black and I’m glad. I don’t belong to you. I belong to me. I belong to this amazing world.’”

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As fellow moms in the trenches, we get it. We produced this issue in the midst of the coronavirus pandemic while juggling work and homeschooling, and we know that so many of you around the world have had to do the same. We’re not quite sure when life will return to normal, with all the in-person events we’ve always enjoyed sharing with you. Should we all have to stay inside a bit longer, we thought it would be helpful to share some socialdistance-friendly resources with you.

TASTE AT HOME

Black Girls with Gardens In addition to providing fresh, healthy food for yourself and your family, home gardening makes for great exercise, provides stress relief, and boosts vitamin D—which supports bone health and immunity. This online resource supports, inspires, and educates seasoned green thumbs and newbie gardeners alike in reaping all of these rewards. blackgirlswithgardens.com

Jálè If you’ve got a hankering to prepare African, Nigerian, or Liberian cuisine but getting to the nearest source of ingredients from the continent requires an airline ticket, despair no more. Jálè delivers an impressive selection of African groceries to anywhere within the 48 contiguous United States. jalellc.com

Caribbean Pot Though Caribbean cuisine incorporates flavors and traditions from Europe, Latin America, Asia, and the Middle East, its roots are inherently African. Caribbean Pot offers hundreds of must-try recipes in which the culture is well represented. caribbeanpot.com

EXPERIENCE AT HOME

Queen Sono Now Streaming This visually rich South African action thriller television series follows a protagonist by the name of Queen who is a secret agent and whose assassinated mother was an anti-apartheid freedom fighter and rebel leader. netflix.com

African FM Now Streaming If you’re feeling cooped up and are unable to go out for a stroll to stretch your limbs—dance! Besides providing great cardio, muscle toning, coordination, and other physical health benefits, dancing is a great mood enhancer. The online home of African sounds provides a great selection of music from all over the continent to get you and your family movin’ and groovin’. africaninternetradio.com

The History Makers As Buju Banton once sang, the full has never been told. The History Makers, a national nonprofit research and educational institution, offers this online resource of media, services, and events focused on well-known and unsung heroes of African descent. thehistorymakers.org

HEAR AT HOME

Kids, Socks, & Motherhood Podcast Now Broadcasting Melanin mom friends Kellie and Vesta host this ongoing discussion on all things motherhood with the aim of shutting down stereotypes about what it means to be a mother of African descent and offering helpful tips and advice on Black momming like a boss! podcasts.apple.com

What is Black? Podcast Now Broadcasting On this biweekly podcast, pediatrician and children’s advocate Dr. Jacqueline Douge speaks with fellow Black parenting experts on the unique issues and subjects related to bringing up strong, healthy, and well-rounded children. whatisblack.co

Sisters in Loss Podcast Now Broadcasting Women of African descent are four times more likely to experience miscarriage and stillbirth than their white counterparts, according to data from the National Institutes of Health and Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. This podcast is dedicated to those moms who have lost pregnancies, experienced infertility, or suffered the loss of an infant. You’ll hear their heartwrenching stories, as well as how they were able to heal and carry on. ericammcafee.com

READ AT HOME

Conjure Women, by Afia Atakora Now Available This premier novel by British-born, New Jersey-raised Afia Atakora tells the story of a mother and daughter duo gifted with the power of healing and their navigation of the American South during the early Civil War era. amazon.com

The Brown Mama Mindset: A Blueprint for Black Moms on Life, Love, and Home, by Muffy Mendoza Now Available Self-proclaimed “mama motivator” Mendoza penned this 276-page guide to remind moms of African descent that happy, healthy children begin with happy, healthy moms. By specifically targeting Black moms, she also fills a glaring gap in literature by addressing the unique concerns and realities surrounding Black motherhood. amazon.com

AALBC This longtime online destination for global Black literature offers books, author information, festival and event updates, discussion forums, and great information for aspiring writers. aalbc.com

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radiant finds creative fruition. A SPOTLIGHT ON BLACK CREATIVES BRINGING IDEAS INTO REALITY

siness

1. Yowie Dalmatian Espresso Mug by Creative Outlet $35 YOWIE is a home and life shop focused on curating small collections from friends, independent artists, and designers. The founder, Shannon Maldonado, also offers consulting services in the form of prop styling, art direction, interior design and programming. shopyowie.com

2. Mind the Cork Isla Aegean $42 (£32) Considered craftsmanship, innovation and sustainable design are at the heart of what Jenny Espirito Santo does at Mind the Cork. Her aim is to make the most of cork, one of the world’s most underrated materials, to create eco-friendly contemporary products. mindthecork.co.uk

3. Things by HC Wild at Home $25 Things by HC is a place to view and purchase art created by Hilton Carter. Hilton received his BFA at the Maryland Institute College of Art and a MFA in film from Art Center College of Design. While drawing and filmmaking became major parts of his life, Hilton started to develop his skills in the styling and design space. Out of this passion to create and share his art, Things by HC was born. thingsbyhc.com

4. Claude Home Sculptures by Chandler McLellan $275 and up Maggie Holladay, the founder of Claude Home, left her fashion editor job to pursue her love for vintage home goods and furniture. She decided to begin selling things on her Instagram (@claudehome) as her collection of vintage items piled up. Maggie has since graduated to her own shop where you can find her collection of curated, classic designs. claudehome.com

5. Ani & Co. Coconut wax blend candles $15–$22 Ani & Co. is a handmade candle and home goods company based out of Brooklyn, New York. Their coconut wax blend candles are hand poured in small batches to ensure you have a fresh burn. Each candle is meant to reclaim your own inner peace and channel positivity with a memorable scent you dare to forget. aniynco.com

photo by Roy E. Handy III (@oldorleans)

08 SECTION photography by Ahmad Barber model Felicia of Select Models Atlanta styling by Ray C'Mone make-up by Christine Dompier-Vazquez hair by Andy Buckmire midi rings by Madewell

BODY & MIND page 164.

ON MOTHERHOOD AND LOSS How to grieve when the unthinkable happens page 172.

RADIANT WOMAN WATCH Alysia Montaño

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On Motherhood & Loss

HOW TO GRIEVE WHEN THE UNTHINKABLE UNTHINKABLE UNTHINKABLE HAPPENS THE FOE AND FRIEND WE FIND IN GRIEF

words by Yvonne Ator, MD MPH

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There was blood everywhere.

The Insidious Grief of Miscarriage

I felt the mass coming out of me and held my hand to my vagina. The cramps were unbearable, but I was tough and used to painful periods. Then the bloody pulp plopped into my hand. I studied it emotionlessly, unable to move.

Miscarriage, or early pregnancy loss, is when a baby dies in the womb before 20 weeks of pregnancy.

Yep, that was placenta, all right ... and that, right there, was a tiny fetus. It was finals week during my second year of medical school, and as usual I was camping out in one of the classrooms for the weekend. Bedding, food, supplies strewn about— the classroom looked like a refugee camp. “The bag lady,” as friends jokingly called me, I was notorious for living at the historic medical building for days. My poor husband would come visit for romantic walks in the school hallways. But that weekend, I was in shock. Seeing the fetus, my whole world stopped. I sat on the toilet staring at the placenta and fetus. I hadn’t even known I was pregnant. I had been so busy with school and starting my own HIV prevention organization that I hadn’t realized I had been pregnant for about three months. I had not been actively trying to have kids. I’d always had irregular periods and considered myself infertile, so we didn’t practice protection. I had already resigned myself to adopting in the future. So, I had not expected to get pregnant. Not in a million years. But there it was. Well, I didn’t have time to process this grief, so I finally flushed the mass, cleaned up, and went back to my studies. I didn’t talk to anyone about it. But the grief started leaking out. I was very angry at everyone. My classmates noticed the change from my usual jovial self to this person lashing out. Eventually I told my husband and a few friends what had happened, but I didn’t want to talk about it so I barely skimmed the surface. My emotions were raw but I had no time to talk. I had to study.

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March of the Dimes reports that “for women who know they’re pregnant, about 10 to 15 in 100 pregnancies (10% to 15%) end in miscarriage. Most miscarriages happen in the first trimester before the 12th week of pregnancy. Miscarriage in the second trimester (between 13 and 19 weeks) happens in 1 to 5 in 100 pregnancies (1% to 5%).” These figures, combined with those for miscarriages in women who didn’t know they were pregnant, suggest that as many as half of all pregnancies end in miscarriage. Yet since most women do not talk about their miscarriages, a lot of us do not know anyone who has had one, so we suffer the shame, guilt, and grief of miscarriage alone. You face the tragedy, cry a little, and then try to move on with your life like everyone says. You trudge along until one day you just feel numb, blah, lost, sad—or in my case, until you suddenly find yourself hysterically sobbing at the grocery store over some spilled milk. The Grief Roller Coaster We know about the stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. To this list I would also add numbness—not feeling anything or feeling blah, meh, or emotionally shut down. Many of us expect the stages to be linear and predictable and to have a cutoff—tied up in a nice pretty bow. But grief is not this way. It is messy, frustrating, and feels like a crazy roller-coaster ride going backward, forward, in zig-zags and lurches. It comes in waves, washing over you when you least expect and often at the most inconvenient times. Everyone says, “Isn’t it about time for you to get over it? Why are you still so upset about this?” but you can’t seem to snap out of it. Even worse, everyone else seems to move on with a quickness that triggers even more shame for you.

I did not leave the classroom that entire weekend. Since I had never heard anyone talk about miscarriages and didn’t know anyone who had gone through one, I numbed out, stuffed my grief deep down, and never addressed it.

You feel broken and find yourself wondering, as many of my coaching clients have, “What is wrong with me? Why can’t I just snap out of it? I should be over it by now.” While many of us expect and accept grief immediately after the death of a loved one or a tragedy, most of us do not expect it to be an ongoing process.

And I never processed that trauma or the others that followed until a decade later, when grief body-slammed me to the floor.

Some of us are blindsided by grief, while others have their grief triggered by life’s other losses, such as trauma or failure. And to outsiders looking in, grief under these

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ON MOTHERHOOD AND LOSS

circumstances can seem unacceptable or even a sign of privilege, which leads to comparative suffering. Hey, miscarriages happen all the time. At least now I know I can get pregnant. Other women have been through worse. Wrong. Suffering is suffering. You are experiencing the same type of physiological reaction as others who are suffering. Your suffering should be addressed as such, regardless of the source.

several tabs open on your computer and the page you want is taking too long to load—you will have to close all those tabs to make the computer work properly. Same goes for you. Your grief is keeping a lot of tabs open in you. Whether grief is addressed or not, it is using up time, energy, resources, and attention. The question is, will you give grief what it is asking of you? Making Time and Room for Grief

I liken it to having been in a car wreck, because trauma, loss, and death are like car wrecks emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and sometimes even physically. You will need the time, resources, space, and energy to recover.

Grief can be tricky and sneaky. With symptoms like crying, feeling really tired and unmotivated, and all kinds of emotional swings, grieving can also take a lot of energy.

Why You Must Ride Out the Grief

Since grief can be so disruptive, many of us are not willing or able to make time for it. We have work to do, deadlines to meet, mouths to feed, and family to care for, so many of us remain in survival mode, just doing what we have to do to make it through the day.

Many of us judge ourselves and feel shame for feeling sad or grieving and for the depth and intensity of our grief, yet grief shows that you deeply cared. Grief is here to serve a purpose—to help you heal. The longer you avoid grieving, the longer it will take to heal. You delay your healing when you avoid grief. Grief serves a purpose and can bring many benefits. It gives you the time and space and resources to heal. It brings the ability to empathize with others who are going through similar situations and enables you to be a source of comfort for others once you reach the other side of your healing. It helps you honor what you have lost and the experience you had, and it also brings some level of closure. To serve its purpose, grief requires energy, time, space, resources, and attention. And you are worthy of it. You will need to make time and room for it. It’s like when you have

I don’t have time to grieve. If I look at the grief, I will fall apart and won’t be able to get back up again. Though grief can feel paralyzing and disorienting, you will need to pause and look at the symptoms you are experiencing—the fog, missed deadlines, tiredness, numbness, sadness … You have to face the truth that you are grieving. This means verbally acknowledging it, recognizing the emotions you are experiencing, and giving yourself permission to process your grief. Even if you already have journaling, meditation, and self-care practices in place, you will need some extra time focused solely on processing your grief. You are worthy of it.

Steps to Take when Grief Shows Up Unexpectedly 1.

Pause It is tempting to continue with life as usual, using

Get curious Instead of ignoring, denying, distracting,

busy work to distract us from facing ourselves. We numb

escaping, stuffing, or subverting your emotions, get

ourselves with activity, food, shopping, work. Pause and

curious about them. What are you feeling? What stories

pay attention to what you are thinking, saying, and doing.

are you telling yourself right now about your grief?

This is my favorite definition of mindfulness.

Check the story Look out for shame. Pay attention to

Practice your grieving process We find ourselves

the story you are telling yourself, especially during the

struggling with deep feelings of loss, disorientation,

bargaining phase of grief. The shame or “not ___ enough”

and longing for something we can’t put a finger

stories you tell yourself can set you on a downward spiral.

on. And we adopt all kinds of coping mechanisms,

And the shame of grief can be devastating: Maybe if I

functional and dysfunctional, to get through it.

stopped working, the baby would not have died.

Learning how to ride the waves of emotions takes time, practice, and patience.

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Questions to Ponder During Your Grieving Process When grieving, it can be helpful to consider the following five questions from Dr. Brené Brown’s Rising Strong process. 1.

What have I lost? Grief brings us a sense that we have lost

How am I coping with this grief? Are you staying busy with

something. What have you lost? Your baby? Your dreams of a

excessive work, hopping from one task to another? Numbing

family? Community? A relationship with your spouse? I have a client

yourself with food or alcohol, shopping, binge-watching TV?

who lost a parent, and she kept saying, “I have lost my anchor.”

Serial dating, hopping from one relationship to another? These are all coping mechanisms people use during times of grief. Pay

attention to the ways you are dealing with your grief.

What am I longing for? With grief a feeling floats to the surface—a subconscious longing for something you didn’t even know you had such a connection to or love for. What are you longing for?

How can I grieve in a way that supports me? There are healthy and unhealthy ways to grieve. You want to grieve in a way that

In what way am I feeling lost? The disorientation of grief can be draining, exhausting, and honestly quite scary if you don’t know this is what is happening. Many of my clients report walking

is aligned with your values and nurtures you. Grief sucks a lot of energy from you, even when you are not actively making time for it. Practicing self-care is critical.

into a room and not knowing why they went there. I have driven around the city in a daze, not knowing where I was going.

NOTES

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Physically Are you eating well? Getting enough sleep? Moving your body? Getting loving touch or massages?

Emotionally Are you journaling? Practicing selfcompassion? Talking to your partner?

Mentally Are you checking your inner dialogue and thinking positive thoughts? Reading books that uplift you? Talking to a therapist or coach?

Spiritually Are you praying or going to your place of worship if you practice a faith? Hanging out with your friends or community? Spending time in nature?

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How to Cry Over Spilled Milk: Tips for a Supportive Grieving Process 1.

Be kind to yourself. Treat yourself the way you would treat

13.

someone you love. Practice self-compassion.

Get help. Sometimes grief can be so thick that we need help navigating through it. Seek out a grief support group, therapist, or coach.

Drop all nonessentials. Prioritize your projects and focus only on the essentials. Guard your bandwidth.

14.

Grieve on your own terms and no one else’s. Grief has no timeline, so you can’t rush through it. Be discerning about who

Ask for what you need.

Practice grounding and self-care. Grounding practices bring us

you share with during your grief.

15.

back to the present. When we are overwhelmed or out of sorts,

important, but make sure you have real comforters and not

being able to take deep breaths, exercise, walk barefooted,

“miserable comforters,” like the friends of Job in the Bible, who

spend time in nature, hug our kids and loved ones, take baths,

would blame us for the mishaps in our lives and kick us when we

and get massages can help bring us back to center.

Set boundaries and remember that “No” is a complete sentence. Feel free to say no if you don’t have the time or energy to do

Be selective of your company. One of the surprising things about grief is how isolating it can be. Having support is really

are already down.

16.

Grieve in your own way.

17.

Be mindful of your consumption. Watch your intake of all things

something.

baby for now, such as baby shows, gender announcements, or

Embrace death. Death is a part of life. It happens. You did

baby showers. These can be massively triggering, draining,

nothing to deserve it. Viewing it as a natural part of being alive

depressing, and anxiety-provoking. Set limits on the amount of

reduces its sting and helps us take it less personally.

time you spend on these sites or take a media break altogether.

Write a new story.

Give yourself permission to feel all the feels.

they will make mistakes and even hurt you as they try to help,

Seek comfort, not numbing. Comfort is a way of soothing

giving you space. Forgive them if you can.

18.

Forgive yourself and others. You will make mistakes and even hurt others as you navigate your grief. Give others grace too, as such as by leaving you alone thinking that they are helping by

ourselves when we are in pain; numbing keeps us from feeling pain at all. Comfort is a glass of wine, a piece of chocolate, an episode

19.

Make meaning if possible. Many find it helpful to find meaning

of a favorite show. Numbing is drinking the entire bottle of wine,

as they process their grief; some use their grief to inspire them

eating several bars of chocolate, bingeing the whole series.

to be of service, create a foundation, or do things differently in

10.

Tell your story.

you and find ways to integrate it into your life.

11.

Own up to the ways you are grieving that might not be serving you.

honor of the one they lost. Observe how meaning shows up for

12.

Be aware, be mindful, and be present.

20. Keep showing up. You are doing the best you can. Some days it’s a shuffle, other days it is a crawl, and sometimes showing up may involve taking a day off and resting. Keep showing up for yourself however you can, moment by moment, breath by breath.

Life happens. In fact, life can be downright devastating. As we strive for what we want, such as having a baby, the unthinkable can happen—the baby could die. Just being alive means that we will experience the death of a loved one. Grief is an unwieldy yet essential part of life, but many of us find it difficult to process or even acknowledge it. The choice is ours whether we will face it or let it slam us to the floor, disrupting our lives completely. Grieving well is an essential part of rising strong from life’s transitions, failures, falls, and losses. Will it be hard? Yes. Will it be worth it? Absolutely. Your path is your own, and by allowing grief to do its work, you can begin the path to healing and creating the meaningful life you are here to live. Be well—and I am so sorry for your loss.

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RADIANT WOMAN WATCH

Alysia Montaño The pregnant runner with the flower in her hair

CAREER ATHLETE BY DAY, MOTHER FOR LIFE

words by Nikki Igbo

FOR WELL OVER A DECADE, U.S. 800-meter runner Alysia Montaño

has repeatedly established her rightful place in the pantheon of elite athletes. Sporting her signature flower symbolizing strength and femininity, the track and field Olympian has garnered seven USA outdoor championships and has achieved the status of American photo by Robbie Gilmore for Cadenshae

record holder twice. These feats are impressive in and of themselves, but nothing amazed fans and spectators more than when Alysia competed professionally while eight months pregnant with her daughter in 2014, and while five months pregnant with her son in 2017. We caught up with “the pregnant runner” just a couple of months after she gave birth to her third child to talk about what it means to pursue both motherhood and career and what it will take for every other mom to do the same with ease.

BODY & MIND

RADIANT HEALTH: For so long women have felt that they have to put off motherhood while pursuing their careers, particularly if they are athletes. You believe and have done otherwise. What made you buck the status quo and choose to be a parent while maintaining an elite athletic career? Alysia Montaño: There are careers we pursue that speak to our personalities—that speak to our souls. For people who want motherhood, that ends up speaking to their souls too. The two can work in conjunction together ultimately if society will allow us to be a mother and a career woman and respect those who want it. I saw myself as a career woman and mother. The same as I have done in my career—in becoming an Olympian and believing in a big dream and the amazing feeling of what could be—is what I moved toward. Motherhood and career were giving me that feeling. That doesn’t mean there aren’t scary feelings about approaching it in the same way. But I push through, try to be as present as possible, and give myself the space to be who I want to be. RH: We have seen other elite athletes compete while pregnant, such as Serena Williams at the 2017 Australian Open and volleyball player Kerri Walsh Jennings at the 2012 London Olympics, and they’ve talked about what those experiences felt like both physically and mentally. Of course, each woman’s pregnancy experience is unique to the woman. What did you experience as you competed while pregnant? AM: During my first pregnancy, I tried to be the best student I could be. There was so much misinformation out there. So much that was not published when it comes to elite running and physical activity on that level. I didn’t know things like keeping up on my core work, as I did for my second and third pregnancy. Instead there was misinformation advising not to do any core, and that’s totally not what you should do. It’s important to continue to maintain strength everywhere. I felt relatively good. It was business as usual, but I just happened to have become pregnant and grown a little bit. I didn’t see it as something that was debilitating. The only thing that made me feel strange was when people questioned what I was doing. Coming through my eighth month of pregnancy, I recognized a mixture of negative and positive feedback. I knew other women who’d done it before and were regarded as crazy. Their pregnancies were 30 years before mine and I got to share generational stories with them. I was shocked that here we were in the year 2014 and this was still a topic of conversation that had not been explored on a larger scale. As an Olympic athlete, I have this platform and decided to use it for good and as a moment of education. Running at nationals and being the defending champion was allowing us this opportunity to see a beautiful pregnant body in motion following photos by Brandon Crocker for Cadenshae

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and also see a mother continuing her career. I didn’t know it was going to go viral. I just thought that I would be able to speak to the track and field world and my fans to let them know I was still here, planned on coming back, and needed their support. I didn’t want the companies [sponsors] to think that once a woman becomes pregnant then she’s done.

That lit a smoldering fire within and I just kept blowing on it until it erupted. I won a national championship while 10 months postpartum and made the world championship team. Ultimately the relationship [with that sponsor] could not grow because they didn’t believe in me as both a mom and a career woman.

RH: What changes did you notice with regard to how you were viewed and treated as an athlete?

From that moment on, I sought a very honest relationship with an apparel company that would help me continue on my mission of bettering self, helping moms, and continuing to be a great athlete. And it just was not there. To do the New York Times op-ed in 2019—that was for all the women who have struggled in their career path to make a space for themselves.

AM: From a career protection standpoint, I quickly saw that change was needed for women in their careers. Women are constantly pushed out of their careers—not just in sports, and not just from thinking that they can’t have motherhood and a career. It’s actually coming from outside voices. Before I had my daughter, my first sponsor told me if I became pregnant that they would pause my contract and stop paying me. There was no protection for me. Moving into another contract and sponsorship, I hoped for more protection since there was a woman at the head and more women present. I hoped to be supported in a way where my career could continue and even soar. But she left and my contract didn’t specifically state any protection for pregnancy. Instead, two men who basically did not understand wanted to talk about my performance during the year when I’d been pregnant for nine months. It was August and I’d missed the whole track and field season. I planned on coming back and they chose to reduce my contract.

RH: That op-ed was beautiful, by the way. Regarding your sponsors’ reactions, that’s just perplexing. Why not capitalize on your pregnancy journey to tap into the maternity market? Why not launch a pregnancy fitness campaign and sell more products to this specific audience? AM: There needs to be more moms in charge to have that conversation. Right now there’s a bunch of dudes sitting around the table. It continues to be this way at most companies. That’s what drew me to Cadenshae [Alysia's new sponsor]—it’s clearly a woman-dominated space. It’s for supporting women and moms. All the partnerships I have sought have been with companies where I know the percentage of women highly outweighs men in regard to caring for women. Not to say there aren’t men who care

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about supporting women, but I want to know for a fact that they understand what we’re moving toward. RH: What is Cadenshae, who are your sponsors now, and how did your relationship with them come about? AM: Cadenshae is a maternity activewear company that supports women and moms. Altra Running—they sponsored two pregnant women for the first time ever in 2020, myself and Tina Muir. Nuun Hydration was actually the first company I spoke to where I told them the truth about wanting another child while continuing toward elite running, and they wanted to support me. They asked me what I wanted to do, and I told them about creating a nonprofit, &mother, that launched this past Mother’s Day. We’re building on the momentum of the maternity movement and we’re going to be calling for action and awareness around the lack of sponsor support for female athletes who choose to become mothers during their athletic careers. We’re starting with athletes but we want to move across all career spaces women face when they become mothers. We support a woman’s choice to pursue career and motherhood, while enabling moms to become the driving force to break down the system that has historically dismissed, undervalued, and discriminated against them. RH: Do you think equality in the workplace is possible in this generation and what do you think it will take? AM: I think equality is possible with the understanding that we need more women in leadership. This is what I’m working toward. We are in such a great place right now where our platforms are allowing us the space in which we can amplify our voices. We saw it with the women’s soccer team and what they’re fighting for. We saw it with the #MeToo movement. We saw it with the op-ed. People are listening and they are able to listen even more because of social media. And companies are being held accountable. People are watching. When we amplify our voices in such a way to enable people to recognize that a problem exists, then that problem can be solved. RH: I love that you continue to reiterate that it’s okay to be a woman in the midst of a grand career and not feel like you have to give up professional pursuits if you also want motherhood. I’ve seen and know the difference between being an up-and-coming childless bachelorette and a

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working mom. Motherhood happens. Women say yes to it and make it work. However it is not easy, so I can understand the belief that motherhood clashes with pursuing a fulfilling profession. This notion causes a lot of fear and apprehension. What would you say to women who are feeling that apprehension? AM: Honestly think about what matters in life and what’s going to be there for you at the end of everything. The cheerleader that has helped me, pushed me, and excited me to pursue what I want and has always been in my corner 100% has been my family. For me, as a professional athlete, it’s so fleeting. While it is something that I’m able to build off and enjoy very, very much, it’s a blip out of my entire life. But creating a family is something that is long-lasting and ultimately a place of joy that can’t be replaced any other way. I think society wants us to be frustrated with family and just want the career side of things. But if you can just stay in quietness for five minutes and think “happy” over and over again and allow for those things that equal happiness to fill your mind, then you’ll be able to tap into that intuitive piece of you that lets you know what you really, really want. RH: You’ve just given birth to baby number three and you are still training. What’s next? What can we look forward to from you? AM: I am really working toward strength in all areas of my life. I love feeling strong mentally and physically. I know that feeling and I want it. I just completed my fitness book called Feel-Good Fitness: Fun Workout Challenges to Inspire Your Fitness Streak and it’s out now. With this book, I want to give everyone the same feeling I talk about all the time that has allowed me the opportunity to be the very best version of myself. Hopefully I will author more books—on postpartum and prenatal fitness. Obviously I enjoy racing, so I hope to return to running and seeing where that takes me. The biggest thing that I want people to tap into right now is our nonprofit &mother. We’ve invested so much time and effort into this organization, and I was literally working up until the last second setting up our mailbox when my water broke this past February 25th. We’re working so hard to make sure moms are supported. We’re fighting so hard to make sure women are protected. I totally want everyone to look out for &mother and support us, support our mission, support moms. To learn more about &mother, visit andmother.org.

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There's no way to & a billion ways

be a perfect mother to be a good one. Jill Churchill

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