Spec Script for B99

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

"The Stalker"

THE STALKER

Written By Rachael Caldwell

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

"The Stalker"

COLD OPEN INT. 99TH PRECINCT - MORNING The members of the 99 sit at their desks. JAKE plays with a rubber band gun. All of a sudden he sniffs the air.

JAKE There's a criminal among us.

Jake rolls his chair over to BOYLE. JAKE (CONT'D) A criminal of smell.

BOYLE It wasn't me Jakey. I've gotten my excessive feet sweat under control.

JAKE What did I tell you Boyle?

BOYLE Don't call you Jakey?

JAKE Exactly, and your sweat isn't the issue here. It's something bigger, much bigger. We've got a farter in our midsts.

DIAZ raises a brow at the two and scoffs.

Idiots.

DIAZ

Jake twists his chair, so he faces each person in turn. He points his finger as he spins.

JAKE Now, which of you let out that nasty little bugger.

AMY looks up from her work.

AMY Really Jake? What are you five?

JAKE Um, I don't know Amy. Would you fall for a five year old if they had my looks?

Jake holds up a hand which Boyle high fives.

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BOYLE You just got Peraltad.

JAKE Never again, Boyle.

Okay Jake.

BOYLE

GINA peers into the precinct. She holds onto the door frame and continues to look in. She shuffles to the other side of the entrance.

TERRY notices.

Gina?

TERRY

Gina locks eyes with Terry for a moment before she bursts into the precinct, her face full of tears.

Terry gets up from his seat as does the rest of the 99. They watch Gina barge into the office.

Gina passes Jake and she clenches a note in her hands.

Jake tries to stop her.

JAKE Gina, hey, wait a minute. What's wrong.

Gina barrels straight into Terry and clenches onto him.

Terry holds her in confusion.

TERRY Terry doesn't know what to do here, Gina.

Gina looks over her shoulder, paranoid then caresses Terry's face.

GINA (mouths) Help me.

She faints in his arms and her hands trail down his chest.

The note falls to the ground, and it reads I'M WATCHING YOU. END OF COLD OPEN

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ACT ONE INT. 99TH PRECINCT - BRIEFING ROOM - LATER Terry claps his hands together. He and HOLT stand before the precinct. The detectives whisper and look to Gina with worry.

TERRY I know you're concerned, but if you could all just settle down. Then I could explain to you what's going on.

Most of the detectives quiet down but Jake continues to whisper to Boyle.

JAKE (whispers) I don't get why we need to go through all this formality, I'm obviously the man for the job.

BOYLE (loud) You've known Gina the longest, it's the only choice.

Terry looks at Boyle.

Diaz, who sits behind Boyle, slaps the back of his head.

TERRY Boyle. Jake. Could you both just shut up?

Gina, who sits at the end of a table, pats her eyes with a tissue. Next to her is an excessive pile of used tissues.

She looks over at Boyle and Jake.

GINA Listen to the man, I need to know what you group of misfits are going to do to protect me.

She pauses to fake a sob before she shows off her body.

GINA All of this is worth more than you've ever had on your police salary.

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Holt clears his throat.

HOLT Thank you for that, Gina. Now, let's let Sargent Jeffords do his job.

TERRY Right, like I was trying to say.

Gina's one of our own, and that means we need to keep her safe. No stalker is going to follow her on our watch. Because of thatTerry points at Diaz.

TERRY I've decided to put Diaz on the case as an undercover agent. Now don't worry, you're not going to be alone.

DIAZ I wasn't worried.

TERRY Even so, I'm going to tag along as Gina's body guard.

Amy and Jake both look at Terry in confusion.

Jake slams his hands on the table.

What?

JAKE/AMY (yell)

Terry looks towards Gina.

TERRY Even when I can't be there, Diaz will be by your side until we catch this guy.

Amy raises her hand and Terry points to her.

Yes, Amy?

TERRY

AMY Sarge, I'm just a bit confused. I feel like I would be perfect for this. I'm a RAD certified (MORE)

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AMY (CONT'D) instructor and I've worked several stalker cases before.

A beat.

AMY(CONT'D) I'm qualified for this.

TERRY It's not a question of your qualifications Amy. Diaz just has a betterHe pauses and chooses his words carefully.

TERRY (CONT'D) Character for this.

AMY And I get that, I do. But, I'm thinking of Gina and she could really benefit from RAD lessons, to protect herself.

Terry opens his mouth to speak and Holt cuts him off.

HOLT Sargent Jeffords chose Diaz for a reason, Amy. I hope you aren't, disrespecting that choice.

Amy shakes her head violently.

AMY No sir never, I wouldn't dare. I justHOLT You just nothing, there's nothing more to be said. Diaz will be going undercover.

Gina holds an unused tissue out to Amy. GINA I feel like you could use this more than me right now.

INT. 99TH PRECINT - MOMENTS LATER As the detectives file out of the briefing room, Jake pulls Boyle to the side.

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JAKE Boyle I need to tell you something.

BOYLE Oh boy, a secret? You know how I love secrets.

JAKE Yes a secret, what else would it be?

BOYLE I don't know, maybe you were finally ready to go halvesies on those matching onesies I've been talking about.

JAKE I'm not getting couples pajamas with you Boyle, that's not what this is about.

BOYLE Well, gee, you don't have to get so persnickity about it.

Jake waves Boyle off then pulls him closer.

JAKE I'm going undercover.

Boyle takes a step back.

BOYLE Undercover? Jake you weren't assigned anything.

JAKE I know I wasn't, Boyle. But I know Gina better than anyone else on this team. I grew up with her. If anyone can find her stalker, it's me.

BOYLE But, Jake. Terry and Diaz are going to be with her all the time.

JAKE I know, which is exactly why I know they won't find the stalker. It's the wrong approach.

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Jake motions for Boyle to come closer.

JAKE (whispers) In order to catch a stalker, you've got to act like a stalker and that's what I'm going to do. That's what I'm willing to do.

BOYLE You really care about her huh?

JAKE It might not seem like it Boyle, but Gina's like a sister.

BOYLE I guess if you're really that invested, I'm not going to try and stop you. Where are we going first?

JAKE Woah, woah, woah Boyle. This isn't a two man job, stalkers don't work in pairs. I'm afraid I'm going solo on this one.

Jake puts a hand on Boyle's shoulder.

JAKE You understand, right buddy?

BOYLE Course I do Jake.

Boyle is on the verge of tears.

BOYLE I just wish I hadn't already planned our matching trench coats.

INT. EXPENSIVE CLOTHING BOUTIQUE - DAY Trapped on either side by Gina and Terry, Diaz looks around the store stocked with pink and frills.

DIAZ Why are we here again?

TERRY It's the last place Gina visited when she felt her space was invaded.

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DIAZ I still don't get why we can't just lock her in a cell?

TERRY Would you want to be locked in a cell.

DIAZ Yeah, if I knew I was on guard.

TERRY I just want Gina to feel comfortable going about her everyday life.

Diaz gestures around the room.

DIAZ What about this store screams everyday life to you?

Gina sighs exasperatedly.

GINA Terry, go pop a squat on that couch over there.

She points to the couch.

GINA (CONT'D) I've got this.

TERRY I'd rather not.

Gina clasps her hands together and eyes Diaz.

GINA Diaz is right, Terry. Nothing about this store scream everyday life, but that's just how I live.

Gina raises her hands above her head.

GINA I'm a star and stars need to be as eye catching as their twinkling night sky counterparts.

DIAZ You're delusional.

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GINA If I'm the North Star, then I can only be friends with almost as equally bright stars.

TERRY You know, technically, the North Star isn't all that bright.

Gina lifts a finger to Terry's lips.

GINA Shush now, my well chiseled friend, this isn't about you.

TERRY Then what is this about Gina?

Wasn't this where you saw the stalker last?

Gina laughs.

GINA Oh no, this is much more important than that. This is to restyle the fashion tragedy over there. No stalker would ever believe I'd hang out with someone like that.

Gina gestures to Diaz.

Hey-

DIAZ

GINA The tough girl look is just so last season.

DIAZ I don't follow fashion. It's just arbitrary rules that change on a stupid whim.

GINA Rules that I'm known for. I start them. Remember when neon yellow came back in fashion?

Gina gestures to herself.

GINA All because of moi.

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She tosses her hair in triumph.

GINA The stalker's going to know if I start hanging out with last season's look. Don't you think he'd pay attention?

TERRY Gina, I really don't think this is necessary.

DIAZ I'll quit before I put on a single thing in this store.

Gina puts her hands on Terry's shoulders and pleads.

GINA I need this Terry. I just want to feel safe again.

A beat.

GINA (CONT'D) Besides,it's a fashion emergency.

How can you not see it?

Gina goes to a mannequin and pulls off a bright pink dress before a store clerk can stop her.

GINA How can you not see this, on that?

Gina points from the dress to Diaz.

No.

DIAZ

Terry looks at the dress.

TERRY You know, that looks a lot like my girls' doll, Princess Patty's latest outfit.

He pulls a picture up on his phone and shows it to Gina.

TERRY It really would work well with Diaz's complexion.

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GINA Right? Now you see what I'm saying.

Terry grabs the dress from Gina and picks a pair of knee high boots to go with it.

TERRY But I think it's missing a little something.

No way.

DIAZ

Terry steps forward.

DIAZ I will not wear that.

GINA You're totally right Terry.

Terry advances towards Diaz.

DIAZ Take another step and see what happens.

TERRY Oh come on Diaz, she's got a point.

Put the two of you together, and it's clash of the titans.

Diaz prepares to leave.

DIAZ You two have clearly gone insane.

Take a breath of fresh air, because this store reeks of flowers.

Terry sniffs.

TERRY You know, I quite like it actually.

It's refreshing.

GINA Isn't it Terry? Isn't it? It just makes you want to shop, till you drop.

DIAZ I'm going to vomit.

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Diaz reaches for the handle on the door.

Terry points at her.

TERRY As your Sergeant, I'm commanding you to try on the dang dress.

INT. FRILLY CLOTHING BOUTIQUE - MOMENTS LATER Terry and Gina sit on a couch and wait.

Diaz walks out in the outfit, angry.

Gina motions with her fingers for Diaz to spin.

GINA Could you just give a twirl, love.

I need to get the full view.

Diaz holds back her fists.

DIAZ I don't do twirls.

Gina gets up and walks around.

GINA Something just isn't quite right.

What do you think, Ter-bear?

TERRY You're rightHe rubs his chin in contemplation.

TERRY I think we're going to be here a while.

GINA (sings) That's what I wanted to hear.

Diaz walks back into her stall slowly. A scream is heard and the dress flies out.

MONTAGE -Terry calls to Diaz. Out of the corner of his eye, Jake is pressed up against the entrance of the store.

-Diaz walks out of the dressing room, jumpsuit on but holding blue feathers in her fists. Jake is seen wearing a

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similar gaudy outfit as he acts like a mannequin.

-Gina pops open a bottle of champagne as if she is bridal gown shopping. Jake makes small talk with the store clerk when the cork hits him in the eye and he screams.Terry looks over, but he is gone.

-Diaz walks out in a bright green outfit reminiscent of a 60's housewife, apron and all. Terry laughs and Diaz immediately throws the apron at the two on the couch.

-Gina pushes Diaz out one more time. She wears a tulle gown.

The dress seems to overtake her body.

BACK TO SCENE Gina places a large floppy black hat on Diaz. She steps back to admire the outfit, then looks over at Terry.

GINA You know, I just feel like none of this is really doing her justice.

Gina walks away for a moment and comes back with a cardigan and Diaz's leather jacket.

GINA Just switch these out and we should be good to go.

Enraged, Diaz silently rips a dress.

END OF ACT ONE

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ACT TWO INT. 99TH PRECINCT - OUTSIDE THE BRIEFING ROOM - DAY Amy posts signs up on the door to the briefing room. They are about RAD lessons.

Skully and Hitchcock appear behind her. Hitchcock pulls a sign off the wall to read it.

Amy reaches to stop him, but is too late.

HITCHCOCK Do you want to learn self defense?

Skully rubs his chin.

SKULLY I'll admit, I could use a few pointers.

HITCHCOCK Do you ever feel unsafe on the streets?

SKULLY Oh all the time, last weekend I stepped on a man's broken beer bottle. Nearly ruined his street fight. Luckily I only needed four stitches.

Hitchcock pats Skully on the shoulder to console him.

HITCHCOCK Do you want a group of like minded friends?

SKULLY I have felt a bit lonely lately, not sure if it's because of my medication though.

HITCHCOCK Then RAD is for you.

SKULLY Sign me up.

They both look at Amy, Hitchcock smiles holding the sign out to her.

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HITCHCOCK What time should we be here.

Amy bites her lip.

AMY You know, I don't know. I, you know, gotta work a few things first. I'll, I'll get back to you two.

She rushes away as quickly as possible.

INT. 99TH PRECINCT - OUTSIDE HOLT'S OFFICE - LATER Amy knocks on Holt's door. She hears voices inside go quiet as both Holt and Boyle walk out to greet her.

HOLT Yes, Santiago?

AMY Hello, sir. Sorry to bother you sir. I just wanted to let you know that I'm putting on a RAD class at the precinct. With this whole incident with Gina, I felt it was the least I could do. I was actually hoping that you might consider coming? You too, Boyle?

BOYLE I'd love to Amy, butHolt holds his arm out in front of Boyle and cuts in.

HOLT Unfortunately, Boyle is helping me with some plans for a dinner party Kevin and I are having.

AMY Right, right of course. It was silly of me for asking, why would you need self defense classes any ways. Don't worry about it sir, I'm sorry for asking.

HOLT It's quite alright, Amy. But, Boyle and I really must be off. He's going to help me pick out which Brie to buy.

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BOYLE I am? Honestly sir, if you want to know about good party cheeses you should really be looking into a nice Abbaye du Mont des Cats or a Sourire Lozerien. Maybe even a Tomme Brulee if you're feeling a little cheeky.

INT. GINA'S APARTMENT - DAY Jake is alone. He wears all black, including his fedora and trench coat.

He moves quickly.

Jake picks through an array of clothes on the ground. A latex jumpsuit, a feather boa and a lacy bra which he flings across the room instantly.

The window to the apartment is wide open, hinges broken.

EXT. STREET WITH MANY SHOPS - DAY Gina leads the two detectives down the street as they pass by an array of interesting shops.

Terry stops mid stride.

TERRY Gina, we've been walking for an hour, where are you taking us?

GINA Hold your horses cowboy, we're just about there. Don't get your chaps in a bunch.

Diaz is now wearing the cardigan with her old outfit, but still just as angry.

DIAZ I'm going to put someone in a bunch if we don't get there soon.

INT. 99TH PRECINCT - BRIEFING ROOM - LATER Amy sighs and she pulls padded mats into the room. She drops them on the floor and looks toward to door.

AMY Well, come on in.

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Hitchcock and Skully now wear sumo suits.

The two try to walk through the entrance at the same time.

Because of the suits, they try to fit through multiple times before Amy's voice rises.

AMY Skully, you go through first and then Hitchcock.

Skully and Hitchcock obey her and one enters after the other.

INT. BRIEFING ROOM - MOMENTS LATER Hitchcock and Skully stand on the mats. They try to keep their balance in the suits.

Amy rubs her temples as she watches the two. She walks over to them.

AMY Okay, I have no clue what you two are actually capable of. So I'm going to have you play out a simple victim and attacker scenario.

Skully, you're the victim.

Hitchcock, the attacker.

SKULLY Why do I have to be the weak one?

AMY Being the victim doesn't make you the weak one, that's the whole point. RAD teaches you how to fight back, it's empowering. It gives people the mental and physical strength to believe in their abilities and trust that they can walk the streets in safety.

While Amy gets into her speech, Skully and Hitchcock shuffle closer to each other on the mats. They move like real sumo wrestlers and inch closer to each other.

HITCHCOCK So what's my motivation?

Your what?

AMY

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HITCHCOCK Why am I attacking him?

AMY I don't know, you want to steal his wallet.

SKULLY Oh I don't carry a wallet, the wife doesn't let me keep any money.

HITCHCOCK How about ice cream? I'd steal that.

AMY Sure, you're stealing his ice cream.

SKULLY You know, I feel like I can't really get into character without props.

I agree.

HITCHCOCK

Amy gives a frustrated sigh.

AMY Fine, I'll go get you props.

Amy exits.

INT. 99TH PRECINCT - BRIEFING ROOM - MOMENTS LATER Skully waddles towards Hitchcock. He clears his throat.

SKULLY Excuse me sir, but do you have a dollar I could borrow for the pay phone?

Skully mimes licking an ice cream cone.

HITCHCOCK I don't got no dollar for you fool.

Hitchcock tries to cross his arms, but fails in his sumo suit.

Amy re-enters. She holds an inflatable baseball bat and a carton of ice cream.

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She witnesses Skully and Hitchcock as they practice painful to listen to dialogue.

Hitchcock holds an invisible knife.

HITCHCOCK Watch out or I'll cut you.

SKULLY Please no, just take my ice cream.

HITCHCOCK Your ice cream won't be enough.

Hitchcock moves in and pushes Skully. Skully topples over and Hitchcock falls after him.

The two end up stuck on top of each other.

Amy stares in shock and then embarrassment, she drops the props, covers her face and rushes out of the room.

Hitchcock tries to wave for help.

HITCHCOCK Hello, could somebody help us?

SKULLY I think we might need the jaws of life in here.

The tub of ice cream rolls close enough for Hitchcock to swipe off the cover and dip his finger in. He struggles and is unable to reach his finger to his lips.

INT. GINA'S APARTMENT - LATER Jake looks through Gina's trash. He dumps the bin's contents on the floor and picks through the items.

Multiple bottles of wine.

A can of silly string which Jake shakes and realizes is not empty before he sprays himself in the face.

Two empty pizza boxes which cause Jake to kick the pile of trash over.

JAKE Figures, she didn't invite me to her pizza party.

EXT. BAKERY - LATER

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Gina puts her hands on her hips and stares at the two detectives. She holds her hand out to show off the gothic looking storefront with pink accents on the windows and door.

GINA Behold, Sugar Daddy's.

DIAZ Where the hell have you taken us.

GINA Um, only the most glorious bakery on this side of Brooklyn.

TERRY Why not the whole side?

GINA Muffin Tops took hold of my heart years ago, I just can't let go of their three tier chocolate fudge cake.

Terry claps his hands together.

TERRY Right, well. Terry's going to head on in and check things out. Be right back.

EXT. BAKERY - MOMENTS LATER Terry walks out carrying a cake box under his arm, he tries to act casual about it.

TERRY So, no suspicious activity in there. They said they'd keep me updated though.

Diaz raises a brow at Terry.

DIAZ Something looks suspicious alright.

She directs her gaze to the cake.

TERRY They bamboozled me alright? They kept giving me free samples and I couldn't just leave empty handed.

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DIAZ So you buy a cake?

TERRY It was freshly baked, I don't have to explain myself to you.

INT. GINA'S APARTMENT - LATER Jake traces his hand along the walls of Gina's room.

They travel over an array of cards taped to the wall.

He lifts a birthday card off and when he goes to open it, a pile of glitter falls to his feet.

JAKE Glitter, the herpes of the art world.

EXT. EROTIC TOY SHOP - LATE AFTERNOON The two detectives and Gina now stand in front of an erotic toy shop. The windows are all foggy. The only indication of the store is through bedazzled sex toys hanging from an outdoor chandelier.

Terry holds multiple bags in his hands as well as the cake.

DIAZ This isn't part of my job description.

TERRY Now Gina, do you really shop here.

Gina steps back in offense and clutches her chest.

GINA Is that really a question you should ask a coworker, Terry? I feel like this might be considered harassment.

Terry continues to hold cake in one hand and holds out his other to calm Gina.

TERRY That's not what I meant and you know it.

GINA I know nothing.

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Terry sighs then hands the cake box off to Diaz and places the bags around her feet.

TERRY Take this, I'm going in.

DIAZ I didn't agree to this.

Before Diaz can argue more, Terry walks into the store.

Gina lifts the lid of the box and sticks a finger in the cake's frosting. She licks it.

Not bad.

GINA

INT. GINA'S APARTMENT - LATE AFTERNOON Jake does a roll across the living room floor and crawls under Gina's coffee table.

He looks out and points around the room.

JAKE The stalker could see everything from here. Gina wouldn't even know he was around in this mess.

Jake throws a feather boa that tickles his nose in frustration.

A siren blasts out the window.

EXT. EROTIC TOY SHOP - MOMENTS LATER Terry rushes out of the store, a bag in hand. The bag overflows with colorful tissue paper.

A lace bachelorette sash lays across his chest. He looks like he's just come out of battle.

DIAZ What's the matter with you?

TERRY I really don't want to talk about it.

Terry shudders.

Gina's phone rings.

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GINA Yellow, you've reached Gina. What are your three wishes?

INT. GINA'S APARTMENT - LATER Jake finally hears the sirens close in. He shuffles around under the coffee table when he hears a knock on the door.

HOLT (voice over) NYPD, open the door or we'll have to use force.

Jake rushes to get out and hits his head on the table.

BOYLE Hands in the air.

Jake jumps up to make an exit, Boyle and Holt burst through Gina's front door with guns raised. Boyle holds a plastic bag of artisan cheese.

END OF ACT TWO

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ACT THREE INT. GINA'S APARTMENT - MOMENTS LATER Boyle stares at Jake and drops his bag of cheeses. A wheel rolls to Jake's feet.

BOYLE Jake, what are you doing?

Holt gives Jake a stern look.

Jake raises his arms before he waves at the two slowly.

JAKE Hey Boyle. Captain.

He gives a cheeky smile and slowly steps forward.

Boyle gasps and takes a step forward gun still raised.

BOYLE Don't you take another step mister.

JAKE Boyle, come on. It's me, Jakey.

Boyle shakes his head.

BOYLE Step away from the cheese wheel, Jake.

Boyle puts his gun away and grabs the wheel.

Jake drops his hands and grabs for the boa on the ground.

JAKE Listen, sir, I was just coming to get something I borrowed. Pinky promise.

Jake holds out his pinky.

Holt continues to stare Jake down.

HOLT I don't do pinky promises, Peralta.

INT. GINA'S APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS Gina, Terry and Diaz burst into the apartment after they listen to Jake in Holt from the hall.

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Gina points at the boa.

GINA Jake I don't have time to give out more fashion advice today, but that's definitely not your color.

TERRY What on earth are you doing here Jake?

Jake gives another smile.

JAKE Hey Terry. Diaz. Gina. Fancy seeing you all here.

TERRY No Jake, not fancy at all.

DIAZ Actually kind of weird.

JAKE Listen. Like I was just trying to say, I was just picking up something I borrowed. I have a key.

He begins to search his pockets for his key.

TERRY Gina got a call from her security system, Jake.

He points with both hands to the window.

TERRY The window's unhinged for god's sake.

Jake steps forward and smiles.

JAKE This is all just a big misunderstanding. I'm sure if we talk it out like normal adults, we'll get by just fine.

Holt sighs.

HOLT You're right, we will handle this like normal adults.

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Holt motions for Boyle to cuff Jake.

HOLT Jake Peralta, you're under arrest for breaking and entering.

Boyle steps behind Jake, hesitant.

Boyle.

HOLT

Boyle cringes, but pulls out his handcuffs.

He leans into Jake's ear.

BOYLE (whispers) Sorry, Jakey. I know you meant well, but Holt took me under his wing and you know, I can't disobey a cheese buddy.

Boyle slaps the cuffs on Jake.

INT. 99TH PRECINCT - TERRY'S DESK - NIGHT Jake sits at Terry's desk.

JAKE Come on TerHe tosses his hand cuffed wrists down on the desk.

JAKE Is all this really necessary?

Terry sighs and nods his head.

TERRY You broke into Gina's home, Jake.

Jake raises a finger to make a point.

JAKE I had a key. I was given a choice.

Maybe not the practical one, but still a choice.

Terry's head shakes.

Terry finishes typing and stands up. He pats Jake's shoulder.

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TERRY I saw you at the boutique, Jake.

Jake scoffs.

JAKE What that? Psh, no. That? That was research Terry.

Terry pats Jake's shoulder once more.

TERRY Everything will work out if it's meant to.

Terry leaves Jake to retrieve paperwork.

Jake slams his face into the desk in frustration.

INT. 99TH PRECINCT - AMY'S DESK - MOMENTS LATER Gina sits on Amy's desk and kicks her legs back and fourth.

The two women watch as Jake is booked.

AMY There's got to be something we can do, he looks so helpless.

She sighs and leans back in her chair.

AMY What would he even gain from stalking you, no offense. It just doesn't add up.

GINA Offense taken. I admire that Jake would chose moi to stock. I just wish he'd asked first, I'm sure we could have agreed on something.

Amy stands up and pushes her chair in.

AMY I can't take it anymore, there's got to be evidence he didn't do this.

INT. 99TH PRECINCT - JAKE'S DESK - MOMENTS LATER Amy pulls apart Jake's desk, covered in junk and searches for proof of his innocence.

Week old food falls off, Amy tries her best not to throw up

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as she avoids sticky substances on the desk.

She pulls open a drawer and pulls out a bag of Gina's baby pictures.

Amy walks to Jake across the room.

AMY Really Jake?

She drops a photo of a baby butt, obviously from a scrapbook. It's titled GINA 18 MONTHS. JAKE What? It was for a prank!

Amy leaves defeated.

INT. 99TH PRECINCT - TERRY'S DESK - LATER Gina walks behind Terry and throws her arms around him.

GINA Hey Ter-Bear.

Terry tilts his head at her, surprised.

TERRY What? Gina? What's wrong now?

Gina sighs and unravels her arms.

GINA Do we really have to go through all of this Terry? I mean can you really blame Jake for wanting to learn more about all of this?

She motions to herself and tries to accentuate her curves.

GINA Besides, let's be honest. He has to be innocent. Jake just isn't capable of keeping up with me and my fast and furious lifestyle. He would have been caught a long time ago if it really was him.

Terry sighs.

TERRY And I'm sure you're right, Gina.

Although, maybe not for those reasons. But it's out of my hands (MORE)

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TERRY (CONT'D) now, let's just hope Jake knows how to behave in court.

GINA Are we sure he's ever known how to behave?

TERRY We've just got to hope a little more than usual.

INT. COURT HALLWAY - NEXT DAY The entire precinct except for Boyle all wait outside for Jake's trial.

JAKE Sir, come on. You can't be serious about this. It was just a prank.

HOLT In what world do you break and enter for a prank?

JAKE Not to be rude sir, but have you never met me before?

HOLT Officer Peralta. No, you don't get that dignification. Jake, even for you this was inappropriate.

Guilty, Gina raises her arm and rushes between Jake and Holt.

GINA It was me, I did it. There was no stalker.

What?

JAKE (screams)

GINA Cuff me if you must.

Gina holds out her wrists exaggerated.

Holt puts a hand over Gina's wrists.

HOLT No, that won't be necessary.

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30

GINA I don't think you understand sir.

Jake most definitely didn't make those letters. I did. He could never craft like that.

She pulls out another stalker letter from her pocket.

GINA See? I just couldn't believe you'd all forget about my birthday week.

I marked all of your calendars. I put it in your phones. It was ridiculous.

HOLT I'm aware that it was all a ruse, Gina.

What?

GINA/JAKE (screams)

HOLT It's exactly as it sounds.

Gina gives a cheeky smile and pretends to understand.

Holt proceeds to open the courtroom doors to reveal Boyle, who waves to the group. He moves to reveal a fully decorated courtroom.

JAKE Again. What?

Gina pushes Jake towards the courtroom.

GINA Don't worry about it stalker wannabe, let the good man explain it to me. You just go have fun.

The rest of the detectives head inside and leave Holt with Gina.

INT. COURT HALLWAY - MOMENTS LATER Gina and Holt sit on a bench.

GINA Teach me how to know the world sir.

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

"The Stalker"

HOLT It's not about knowing the world, it's about having keen deductive reasoning skills and a semi-photographic memory so you always have your staff's background information on hand.

GINA Same difference, now get to the juicy details.

HOLT There aren't any, the only problem was planning. That's where Boyle came in.

FLASHBACK INT. OUTSIDE BRIFINING ROOM - THE DAY BEFORE Boyle exits the briefing room and Holt is waiting for him.

HOLT Boyle, what would you say if I told you I needed your, culinary expertise.

BOYLE I'd say you've tickled my intrigue sir.

Holt pulls out a personal planner and flips to the week, each block reads GINA'S B-DAY WEEK. HOLT It's one of our own's special day.

A beat.

HOLT (serious) Sometimes I go overboard with the festivities.

BOYLE Oh, I don't think that sir.

Holt looks around momentarily.

HOLT Have Peralta join you, I know he enjoys merriment.

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Boyle tries to nod and keep his mouth shut.

BOYLE Jake isn't here right now. He's getting in to character in order to fake stalk Gina and find the real stalker.

BACK TO SCENE GINA Jake what were you thinking telling Charles McBlabbermouth?

HOLT However, the most impressive moment was when we avoided Santiago. It was exhilarating if I do say so myself.

FLASHBACK INT. HOLT'S OFFICE - DAY BEFORE Boyle stands in Holt's office holding bags of party supplies.

BOYLE Sir, I can promise you Gina is going to love this. I even had a pinata made in the shape of the Sarge's abs.

Giddily, Boyle drops the items on Holt's desk.

BOYLE This is going to fantastic sir.

A knock is heard and then the door opens, Boyle swipes the items off the desk.

BACK TO SCENE Gina slowly claps.

GINA Sir, you truly are a king among peons.

HOLT It's all in a days work.

END OF ACT THREE

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33

TAG INT. COURTROOM - LATER The entire precinct is in the room. Gina sits at the judges podium and wears a pink crown and holds a matching scepter.

GINA Bow down bitches. For the next 24 hours, I am your queen.

Hitchcock and Skully, who are both in sumo suits, look from each other to Gina. They shrug and try to bow.

This time Skully topples onto Hitchcock, and once again they are stuck.

As this happens, Jake walks in front of them, handcuffed. He looks at the two on the ground and continues to walk.

JAKE Still handcuffed here.

FADE OUT