FIGURE-SCAPES -- Ashcan No. 1 (Comic Book)

© 2020 R AMROD I NTERNATIONAL P RESS ™

RIP r

e s s ™

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RED-HOT NEW COMIC BOOK COMPANY

R.I.P.ress!

GET

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!!‫راﺋﻊ‬

WITH A SIZZLING INTRO TO R.I.P. ress BY

INTRODUCING THE WHITE-HEAT,

‫اﻟﺣﺻول ﻋﻠﻰ ا ﺳ ﺗ ﻌ د ا د ﻟ ﻠ ﻣ ﺗ ﻌ ﺔ‬

‫)ﻟطﯾف‬

ARTIST / PUBLISHER:

(‫ﺟدا‬

Deighton….….EDITOR: Jonni Dramana

SKETCHBOOK

Jonni D!

Deighton’s

DON’T MESS W / R.I.P. ress!

IT’S

1ST ARABIC-PERSIAN

COMIC CON दद KUWAIT ® LIMITED R.I.P. ress P r e s e n t s: EDITION of 500 ___________________________________________________________________ INSIDE

FIGURE-SCAPES ASHCAN ASHCAN #1 #1

$2.99 USA $3.95 CAN MATURE READERS

9035768318-002

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‫ھزﻟﯾﺔ ﺟدﯾد ﻛﺗﺎب‬

[ A NEW HOLIDAY SKETCHBOOK FROM KUWAIT CITY ] ____________________________________________________________ _____ _______________________________________________ RATED PG-13

_

https://issuu.com/r.i.p.ress

R.I.P.ressed

FIGURE-SCAPES ASHCAN #1

THE VALET BURNS HOTTER THAN KUWAITI OIL

†

2

Stacia

STACIA’S

EYES ARE HYPNOTIZING

JOIN THE UNDERBELLY OF R.I.P.ress™ COMICS YOU WON’T BE SORRY WELL, MAYBE YOU WILL BE BUT YOU WON’T REGRET IT…WE PROMISE

FOReWARDS from RAMROD INTERNATIONAL PRESS™

by Jonni Dramana, MANAGING EDITOR (+ Creative Director, Layout Artist, Formatter, Letterist, Accountant, Esquire, Marketeer, Receptionist, Model, Fashionista, Raconteur & Kick-A$$ Big-Idea Girl)

_______________________________________________________________________ NOW DIG–THIS, MY COMIC BOOK COHORTS: THE SELF-PROCLAIMED WORDSMITH & RADICALLY-PROLIFIC ARTIST KNOWN AS Deighton HAS ALSO BEEN SUPER-BUSY DESIGNING BUILDINGS & ENVIRONS AROUND THE PLANET AS A PRO ARCHITECT FOR THE PAST 20+. [I LOVE HIS “SUPER-MAX” PRISONS BEST...SO CREEPY !]. BUT ARMED WITH HIS NEW COMIC BOOK COMPANY RAMROD INTERNATIONAL PRESS™, HE’S NOW READY TO PUBLISH A KILLER CADRE OF KILLER COMIC BOOKS FOR PATRONS OF TOUGH, NO-HOLDS-BARRED STORIES & ART...STUFF THAT PUNCHES YOU HARD IN THE GUT, LEAVING A BITTER TASTE IN YOUR MOUTH, HAUNTING YOU AD INFINITUM. LIKE IN THIS INAUGURAL ASHCAN “MINI-COMIC” YOU’RE HOLDING, R.I.P.ress™ INTRODUCES AN ALL-NEW, ORIGINAL CAST OF BIZARRE CHARACTERS, CREATED TO QUENCH YOUR INSATIABLE THIRST FOR THE EXTREME. UPCOMING TITLES STACIA IN DEMENTIA #1, SHAME ON YOU #1, HONOR THY FATHER RAMROD #1 & THE ELECTRIFYING CONTROVERSY SURROUNDING LICK MY WOUND! #2 (WHAT HAPPENED TO ISSUE NO. 1?!?) ARE ALL GUARANTEED TO SHOCK-YOUR-SOCKS-OFF! [I CAN’T WAIT & HOPE THERE ARE LOTS OF PICTURES BUT NOT TOO MANY WORDS]. SO WHY KEEP THIS PROMULGATOR OF PERFECT PROSE (PULITZER-WORTHY) & FINE COMIC ART (GALLERY-QUALITY) ALL TO YOURSELF? HIKE-UP YOUR JACK-BOOTS, DEVOUR R.I.P.ress™, THEN GO TELL YOUR TEACHERS, TAILORS, FRIENDS & RETAILERS ABOUT OUR BOOKS...OR WE’LL RAMROD THEM DOWN YOUR THROATS TO STIFLE YOUR BLOOD-CURLING SCREAMS. NOW READ... R.I.P.ress...REPEAT. BECAUSE Deighton & HIS RABID GANG OF SADDLE TRAMPS ARE BRINGING YOU A KILLER CADRE OF KILLER COMIC BOOKS…......DRIVE FRIENDLY!

J

D, R.I.P.ress

Get R.I.P.ress PRESENTS: “R.I.P.ressed FIGURE-SCAPES ” – ASHCAN NO. 1. © 2019 ℗ 2020 COMIC CON KUWAIT® LIMITED EDITION of 500 copies. FIRST PRINTING. Published by RAMROD INTERNATIONAL PRESS™ (R.I.P.ress™), Ybor City, Florida 33605-2737 U.S.A. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED®. Publisher, Creator & Artist (all Pencils↔, Inks & Paints): Deighton. Guest Artist (Pencils pgs. 8-9): Rick Magyar. Editor & Formatter: Jonni Dramana. Deighton, DJAMILA, FAIRUZA, FATHER RAMROD, THE HAG, HAGGY MAGGY, HONOR THY FATHER RAMROD, JOE-JOE, Jonni Dramana, LICK MY WOUND!, MOHMAR, PROJECT SUN-DIMMER, RAMROD, RASIAH, R.I.P.ress’ NEW A$$-KICKERS, R.I.P.ress’ RAMROD, R.I.P.ressed, SHAME ON YOU, STACIA, STACIA IN DEMENTIA, S-O-R, SYNDICATE OF RETRIBUTION & THE VALET are fictional (or approved adaptations of actual persons or entities), & are created, © & TM by Deighton & R.I.P.ress. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED® by the following: DARK ANGEL by HART D. FISHER; DAWN by JOSEPH LINSNER; & WONDER WOMAN & THE NEW 52 by DC COMICS. Contents may not be copied, distributed or re-sold without expressed written consent. Gratitude: CAPT. BOB, DOUGLAS DARDEN*, JET B, J REY, NICHOLAI, RICK MAGYAR, SEBASTIAN & VANESSA. [*--R.I.P.]. Inquiries: RamrodInternationalPress@gmail.com. Comments: Jonni.Dramana@gmail.com.

Printed by R.I.P.rintco™, Tampa, Florida U.S.A.

R.I.P.ressed

KISS KISS, BANG BANG,

FIGURE-SCAPES ASHCAN #1

KILL KILL!

3

THE VALET

THE VALET

ERRANDS, COLLECTIONS, EVICTIONS, CONVICTIONS, TERMINATIONS, COOKING, CLEANING, SE UAL FAVORS...

DOES IT ALL

*

THE VALET

MERCENARY, BOUNTY HUNTER, PRIVATE BODYGUARD & PERSONAL “ATTENDANT,” AVAILABLE FOR HIRE FOR SELECT ASSIGNMENTS

BY THE HOUR, DAY, WEEK, OR MONTH, AS LONG AS YOU CAN PAY IN CASH

HAPPINESS

IS A WARM

PISTOL

R.I.P.ressed

FIGURE-SCAPES ASHCAN #1

†

4

YOU

STOLE MY VOICE, SO NOW I’M GONNA’ CRAM YOUR OWN HEART DOWN YOUR

THROAT!

MARHABA, I’M NUCLEAR PHYSICIST FROM JELEEB AL-SHUYOUKH & DEACON OF JUSTICE FOR

JOE–JOE,

FATHER RAMROD’S S-O-R, HIS BADA$$ SYNDICATE OF RETRIBUTION

PERSIAN PRINCESS

RASIAH,

AN EARLY PROTOTYPE FOR

STACIA...

PRE-

JONNI DRAMANA

DAGGERS

ARE A WOMAN’S

BEST FRIEND

STACIA

PROTOTYPES

APPROACHING HER BREAKING POINT

...AND IN

DEMENTIA

R.I.P.ressed

WHO’S

NEXT?

FIGURE-SCAPES ASHCAN #1

5

MOHMAR IS FRESHLY SPRUNG FROM A BAGDAD POKEY, PI$$ED-OFF & LOOKING LIKE

JOE-JOE

AFTER FIGHTING A FEW ROUNDS WITH

HAGGY MAGGY

(IT WAS A DRAW)

HE WANTS TO PUNISH YOU

…SEVERELY

SO

THAT B TCH IS CRAZY!

*

DON’T

FORGET

TO SAY YOUR

PRAYERS!

PROTOTYPES OF , HEAD OF THE

RAMROD

SYNDICATE OF RETRIBUTION (S-O-R)

FATHER RAMROD –

CREATED QUITE A LONG TIME AGO BEFORE WE DISCOVERED THAT THERE MIGHT BE SOME MINOR CYBORGTYPE OF COMIC BOOK CHARACTER NAMED “RAMROD” (BY MARVEL FROM THE 1970’S?) ALREADY IN EXISTENCE, WE THINK. WE’VE NEVER REALLY BOTHERED TO “GOOGLE THEIR RAMROD” THOUGH, TO SEE IF THEIR “RAMROD” HAS ANY SIMILARITY TO OUR RAMROD OR IS EVEN STILL ACTIVE FOR THAT MATTER. ACTUALLY, WE’VE ALWAYS BEEN MORE SO AFRAID TO DISCOVER IF THEIR “RAMROD” IS WAY BIGGER OR TALLER THAN OUR RAMROD . OUR RAMROD HAS TO BE STRONGER & HAVE MORE STAMINA THAN THEIR “RAMROD,” LIKE A SPIRITUAL “SGT. ROCK” MEETS “THOR” WITH A “PUNISHER”-ESQUE VIBE, TIMES A TRILLION (PLUS INFINITY, PLUS ONE). BUT THEN WE START WORRYING ABOUT COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT OR PLAGARISM, SO WE NEVER REALLY MOLEST OUR RAMROD FURTHER. UNTIL NOW. R.I.P.ress’ RAMROD IS FULLY LOADED & COMING SOON TO YOUR FAVORITE COMIC BOOK SHOP. SO ALL OF YOU PATHETIC INSURGENTS: BOW-DOWN NOW & HONOR THY FATHER RAMROD!

COVER MODEL , IS ACUTALLY R.I.P.ress’ HAGGY MAGGY’S GRAMDMA

MOST FAMOUS

WONDERFUL WOMAN, KUWAIT’S ALL-TIME

YOU SAY I’M CUTE WHEN I’M MAD? YOU HAVEN’T SEEN ME MAD!

Deighton’s

FIGURE-SCAPES ASHCAN #0

DJAMILA

R.I.P.ess’ NEW A$$-KICKERS

FIGURE-SCAPES ASHCAN #1

SHEIKHA (IN WONDER WOMAN COSPLAY) & HER SHEIKH JOE-JOE,

CASTING COUCHES WILL ALL BE GONE SOON!

DON’T WORRY HONEY-BUN, THE

COVERS!

THAT PAINTED HAG GETS ALL THE BEST

R.I.P.ressed 6

ME

PI$$ED-OFF & READY TO KICK-YOUR-A$$

HAGGY MAGGY, A.K.A.THE HAG, TOTALLY

CENSOR

I’LL CUT YOUR THROAT OPEN IF YOU EVEN TRY TO

Deighton’s

FIGURE-SCAPES ASHCAN #0

JOE LINSNER’S DAWN, DEFINITELY PART PERSIAN

I’M WAY TOO CLASSY FOR THIS RAG

EDITOR’S NOTE: POLITICAL SATIRE CARTOONS OF “WONDER WOMAN” ARE PARODIES ONLY. DC COMICS RETAINS ALL RIGHTS TO “WONDER WOMAN THE NEW 52” #19 (BLANK) COMIC BOOK COVER & ITS TITLES, NAMES, LOGOS & LIKENESSES – J D

R.I.P.ressed FIGURE-SCAPES ASHCAN #1

7

[ © 2020 RAMROD INTERNATIONAL PRESS - BONUS PULL-OUT POSTER ]

JOE - JOE

[ © 2020 RAMROD INTERNATIONAL

RESS - BONUS PULL-OUT POSTER

]

[ © 2020 RAMROD INTERNATIONAL

STACIA IN DEMENTIA PRESS - BONUS PULL-OUT POSTER ]

[ © 2020 RAMROD INTERNATIONAL PRESS - BONUS PULL-OUT POSTER ]

R.I.P.ressed

I HOPE

R.I.P.ress™

``` AS HART D.’S

FIGURE-SCAPES ASHCAN #1

WILL BE AS

“FEARSOME ”

I SO LIKE

12

ALICE COOPER!

BONEYARD

HART D. FISHER’S

DARK ANGEL

FROM HIS (NOW-DEFUNCT)

BONEYARD PRESS JOIN THE

R.I.P.ress™ CLUB AND YOU GET A

™

FREE GREEN CARD

JOE-JOE

CAN SEE

RIGHT THROUGH

YOUR

*

BULL- SH T

SAMURATESH

UBER DRIVER

BY DAY,

S-O-R AGENT

BY NIGHT

PROTOS OF THE

R.I.P.ress™ “KUWAIT CREW,” + AN EX-PAT OR 2

R.I.P.ressed

FIGURE-SCAPES ASHCAN #1

13

ACTION,

NOT WORDS

THE VALET R.I.P.ress’

FAVOURITE NEW BODYGUARD & “COMFORT BOY”PROTECTION IS WARRANTIED, DISCRETION IS A GIVEN, CLOTHING IS OPTIONAL

THE VALET

R.I.P.ress THE VALET WORKS OVERTIME TO SERVICE HIS CLIENTS’ INTERESTS

PAYS ME

REALLY WELL

R.I.P.ressed

FIGURE-SCAPES ASHCAN #1

14

THE VALET SATISFACTON IS GUARANTEED

R.I.P.ressed

FIGURE-SCAPES ASHCAN #1

15

RIP r

e s s ™

QUALITY 1/2” ROUND ON 11/16” STAGGERED PERFORATED METAL STAINLESS STEEL

STACIA IN DEMENTIA

MODELED AFTER ULTIMATE BAD-GIRL

JONNI DRAMANA

© 2020 R AMROD I NTERNATIONAL P RESS ™ ( R.I.P.ress™) 2 0 2 0

THE

DIG

‫دﯾﻧﺎﻣﯾت‬

DEBUT OF

THE VALET

R A M R O D I N T E R N A T I O N A L P R E

STACIA BAD, BAD, BAD, BAD GIRL

IT ONLY TAKES ONE BLOW, BLADE OR BULLET TO STOP A BAD-GUY

R.I.P.ress

Presents:

S JOE-JOE DEADLY S (COMING SOON!) MUSE _ _______________________________________________________________ STACIA IN DEMENTIA NO. 1…PROJECT SUN-DIMMER & LONGSHADDOW FORCE A MUTE FASHION SEAMSTRESS TO COMPLETE ONE FINAL ASSIGNMENT BEFORE CURING HER AFFLICTION. BUT IT WON’T STOP THERE AS STACIA’S RISE “IN DEMENTIA ” TAKES HER TORRID TALE OF EMPOWERMENT TO LEVEL 11 !!

R _______________________________________________________________ HONOR THY FATHER RAMROD NO. 1…RAMROD IS LOADED & JOINS FORCES WITH THE VALET TO I ERADICATE THE SUND-DIMMER’S MOST DANGEROUS OPERATIVES. NOW BOW-DOWN & PRAY WITH HIM P _______________________________________________________________ BEFORE PAYING RETRIBUTION…WITH YOUR LIVES ! [ W/ THE DYNAMITE DEBUT OF HAGGY MAGGY] r SHAME ON YOU NO. 1…INTRODUCING JOE - JOE, WHO TEAMS-UP W/ FATHER RAMROD TO PUNISH LONGSHADOW FOR HIS HORRID CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY. THIS BOOK IS SO EXTREME THAT EVEN THE e PUBLISHERS ARE EMBARASSED TO PUT IT ON-THE-RACKS (--BUT CAN’T BREAK THEIR CONTRACT--)!!! _______________________________________________________________ s LICK MY WOUND! NO. 2…A RABID GANG VIOLENTLY ATTACKS A FAMILY ON HOLIDAY & INFECTS THEM s WITH A DEADLY “SALIVA” VIRUS...TRANSMITTING IT IN A WAY SO VILE IT WILL SHOCK-YOUR-SOCKS-OFF !

[EDITOR’S NOTE: ISSUE NO. 1 WAS RECALLED FROM DISTRIBUTION DUE TO PENDING CENSORSHIP MATTERS] _____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ T

M

© 2020 R AMROD I NTERNATIONAL P RESS ™ 2020 ℗ https://issuu.com/r.i.p.ress