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Finding What Was Never Truly Lost:

How Travel Can Help Us Rediscover Ourselves

Travel is a beautiful thing. It takes you to new places, introduces you to new people, and helps you make memories which will last a lifetime. Part of what makes travelling so incredible is the uniqueness of each adventure that you embark upon, and I suppose that this is why I always found it hard to believe that there is such a universal stereotype attached to the topic. Often, if you mention that you have been travelling, you’ll be met with witty remarks about your ‘gap yah,’ and people will expect you to return home with five pairs of elephant harem pants and a newfound sense of self. The idea that travelling helps you find yourself always seemed absurd to me, but it wasn’t until I ended up on a spontaneous gap year that I realised just how true this cliché can be.

Throughout my school years, I always had one clear path to the future in my mind, and that involved going to university straight after my A-Levels. I had occasionally entertained the idea of a gap year, but it was often just a passing thought and never something that I seriously considered. However, little did I know that this was about to change. Fast forward to A-Level results day 2019, I did not receive the grades I needed to go straight to university. At that moment I felt like my life was over – I was so deflated, disappointed and embarrassed! I ended up getting my exams remarked, but I still missed out on the chance to join the 2019 cohort. So, I found myself on a completely unexpected gap year. During this period, I noticed a change in myself. I began to question whether or not university was the right choice for me, I was doubting my independence and my ability to take such a big step, and I was just generally feeling quite down. However, this all changed when I decided to travel.

In January of 2020, one of my best friends and I packed our lives into a backpack and caught a flight to East Coast Australia, where we spent the next three months. It took me a while to settle into our new surroundings, but I soon discovered just how special travelling can be. I quickly came to realise that many of the clichés surrounding travel are rooted in some truth and, as my Australian adventure progressed, I discovered that I was, in fact, finding myself.

Although the stereotype about finding yourself through travel has a lot of truth behind it, there seems to be a misconception about how it occurs. Finding yourself doesn’t happen overnight, and it is not always a process that is immediately noticeable.

During my time in Australia, there was never a lightbulb moment where I thought, ‘it’s happened! I’ve officially found myself!’ and I didn’t particularly feel as though I had discovered anything new about myself. Instead, I began to rediscover personal qualities that I always knew existed but couldn’t always see.

When I didn’t get into university the first time around, my confidence dropped and I began to question whether or not I was capable enough to take the step to move away from home. My trip to Australia confirmed that I am. I suddenly found myself 9,000 miles away from home with no choice but to fend for myself; I navigated my way around some tricky situations, such as flooded roads, cancelled coaches and even a global pandemic. When things got hard in Australia, I couldn’t just catch the next flight home (as much as I wished I could’ve sometimes!) Instead, I had to face the issues head-on. The more challenging aspects that come with travelling helped me rediscover my mental strength and made me realise that I can take a risk and reap the rewards. Now, I often find myself thinking, ‘if I could do that in Australia, I can do anything.’

As well as helping me rediscover my inner strength, travelling also brought out a brand-new side to me. Before my trip, ‘that’s embarrassing’ was one of my most used phrases and I’d often let the fear of judgement from other people stop me from doing things that I wanted to do. However, in Australia, I was surrounded by a community of like-minded people who pleased themselves and lived entirely in the moment. It took three months in Australia to help me realise that if I want to do something, I should just put myself out there and do it! This newfound mindset has since transformed my life and allowed me to do things that I once would have never dreamed of, and it’s all thanks to the inspirational people that I met whilst travelling.

Finding yourself through travel is not always an epiphany, but it is certainly more than just a stereotype. It’s safe to say that I would not be the person I am today if it was not for the things I experienced whilst travelling.

Words by: Maddie Balcombe Design by: Annabelle Ingram and Isabel Brewster

Student Style Profile:

Niladri Singh Rajput

How would you describe your style or aesthetic?

I can’t say for certain that I have a very strict style or aesthetic. I tend to be very picky with the clothes I chose or the way I style them, but, since comfort is the foremost thing I seek with my sense of style; I always tend to confer to that calling first. My sense of style could be like that of a shapeshifter, if I may. I like trying different things and can slide in and out of styles and outfits with ease.

Where do you think your style originated from?

This article is really making me sit back and think. As an Indian girl who grew up on a whole lot of Bollywood and later meddled with a whole of Disney, I think it’s only fair that I dedicate my style origins to the idols of the 2010s. I, however, always tend to incorporate something Indian into my looks, this could be an earring, a bracelet, an anklet or a bindi. So, a lot of my style and the way I dress is undoubtedly rooted in my Indian origins.

Who/What inspires your sense of style?

If I’m uncomfortable, I’m always worried it shows. So, comfort is what inspires my looks. Am I comfortable with the weather? Will I be comfortable with the crowd? Do I want him to ask me out again? It is a combination of all of those things, and then, there’s Zendaya. It’s not just her sense of fashion, it’s the entire human being. She’s tremendously talented, unbelievably grounded, and always aces the assignment. I didn’t know her when she was on the Disney channel, so I can assure you it was her personality and her sense of fashion that brought us together.

Where are your favourite places to shop?

Since I’ve come to the UK, thrift stores and charity shops are the only places I shop from. Sobeys Vintage Clothing and Flamingos in Cardiff both have great collections and are good places to start thrifting. There are a whole lot of kilo sales (so you can buy a kilogram worth of clothes for around £15), I tend to keep an eye out for them too. I’m always trying to make a solid effort to avoid fast fashion brands. I don’t go out of my way to tell my friends or the people around me to do it, but again, that’s just vegans. Jokes apart, if each of us did our little bit, we might just have hope.

What item of clothing makes you feel the most comfortable and confident?

Honestly, I think it’s those laced bodysuits. Wear them and literally pair them with anything you want, they will make your day or night. Corsets and comfort might look and sound like oxymorons next to each other, but they make me feel like I can own anyone and anything in a room I enter (any Friends fans?). I can assure you that the not-beingcompelled-by-society and free-flowing oxygen while wearing corsets helps this fashion trend I love.

Are there any fashion trends you particularly like?

Well, corsets are back, and I don’t mind them. I don’t mind low-rise jeans either, but I know one thing for certain, it was the comeback of low-rise jeans that made me realise how trends form and make us feel obliged to confer to them. The good thing, if any, about 2021 is that people are more open to ideas. Whilst the comeback of 2000s fashion trends also signals towards a rise in body dysmorphic problems/ issues, I think inclusivity is vogue right now, it’s in fashion and it’s here to stay, as it should be. So, nobody really has to actually confer to trends and I’m loving the sight of that!

Are there any fashion trends you don’t like?

I really am trying to think of something because I’m sure there must be something, I dislike but as of now, each their own. As long as they’re not hurting someone, I think people should be allowed to wear whatever it is and however it is they will. I have a problem with beanies though, but I think it’s an issue with the shape of my head because everyone else looks like they just pulled up from 8 miles.

How has your sense of style changed during your time at university?

Oh massively! Cardiff is abundant when it comes to representation. There are people from all over the globe and honestly, I think East Asians dress the coolest. The clothes they wear to sleep, I could wear to town, the clothes they wear to town, I could get buried in. I think it has greatly influenced my sense of style, in that, it has urged me towards my calling, towards comfortable, well-styled, appropriate-for-the-function-and-weather kind of looks.

What is one fashion item you couldn’t live without?

I cannot choose between the two but a well-fitted pair of black jeans and/or a well-fitted bodysuit.

Talk us through one of your most memorable outfits.

I wore an outfit to a pub a couple of weeks ago. I was wearing shorts that I got like five years ago, the dress was actually an XL Kurta (an Indian traditional attire usually worn by men in North India), and I pulled the look together with a corset - amps up any outfit in 0.3 seconds. A pair of ankle-length boots, a tiny black bag, with ample storage to hold essentials and a red Hilfiger coat that hit below my calves. A very kind woman told me I looked amazing and on the same night, a boy refused to dance with me, it was that kind of a night!

Interviewed by: Maggie Gannon Design by: Isabel Brewster

Student Style Profile:

Muskan Arora

Interviewed by: Maggie Gannon Design by: Isabel Brewster

How would you describe your style or aesthetic?

I would describe my style and aesthetic as a reflection of my mood. Often, I end up picking colours and clothes according to how I want the vibe and the feel of them to be! I have always been drawn towards bright colours, but without a doubt, there are days I enjoy wearing darker and more simplistic clothes. I also absolutely adore Indian handlooms and patterns on any type of garment, and this has been largely influenced by my heritage.

Where do you think your style originated from?

My style is deeply inspired by my mother and sister; as a child, I used to mostly wear clothes that were handed down to me by my sister. This gradually influenced my taste into one that is similar to theirs, to a point now where we often end up picking the same clothes! Nonetheless, my style has grown individually in my university life, where I have explored various types of clothes.

Who/What inspires your sense of style?

I am deeply inspired by the media I consume. I know a lot of us might see this as being quite unoriginal, but honestly, who isn’t drawn to things they see online? My love of colours is definitely inspired by nature, for example, I love yellow - any shade of yellow can make me want to purchase an item. In addition to this, blue shades have spoken to me in different ways. Somehow, I have always associated colours of nature with mystery and beauty, thus I am automatically attracted to them.

Where are your favourite places to shop?

I don’t think there is one place, in particular, that is my favourite place to shop. Rather, whenever I have time, I enjoy window shopping and, depending on the budget, if a piece of clothing really catches my eye, I buy it!

What item of clothing makes you feel the most comfortable and confident?

When I am at home, I certainly feel the most comfortable in baggy shorts and oversized t-shirts. However, in a formal or even a slightly more casual setting, I feel confident and self-assured wearing shirts and skirts but feel sexy when I wear dresses and blazers.

Are there any fashion trends you particularly like?

I have never really followed any trend, but I have recently gained interest in the multiple ways of styling a simple white shirt. I am also trying to shift towards making more sustainable fashion choices and have dug deeper into styling and reusing clothes for longer periods of time.

Are there any fashion trends you don’t like?

Somehow, the trend of bikinis or underwear showing over pants or even too small tank tops, doesn’t resonate well with me. However, I have seen ladies pull this off beautifully and only wish I had the confidence to carry it too!

How has your sense of style changed during your time at university?

Since starting university, I have shifted towards wearing skirts and skinny jeans. I know these items could be seen as total contrasts, but it honestly just depends on my mood. My overall style has greatly evolved to become more independent and ultimately a reflection of myself.

What is one fashion item you couldn’t live without?

Baggy shorts!!!! I cannot stress enough how much I enjoy my legs feeling the air, being free. I can wear them all the time and anywhere.

Student Style Profile:

Haris Hussnain

How would you describe your style or aesthetic?

I would say my style and the overall look is very nerdy, punky and alternative, and this is the sort of impression I like to give off through my clothing choices. One of my signature pieces that could be seen to give off punk vibes is studded belts. I would say overall though, my style is practical.

Where do you think your style originated from?

I think it originated from my love for all things that are alternative and unusual. Whilst many people wanted the latest brands, I wanted a shirt with crows on it or with an image of a luminous tiger. It also originated from wanting a new style for university. University is a time to be creative and innovative, so I decided to take up this opportunity and experiment. Style is like a language and helps to communicate to people before they meet or speak to you. If I wore Adidas or Nike branded pieces, some people might assume I like those brands or that I like sports which I don’t. My style aims to communicate and give people an insight into what I like.

Who/What inspires your sense of style?

My hobbies and interests ultimately inspire my style. Predominately, gaming and other hobbies inspire my look, but I also get some inspiration from manga comics. Something that perhaps makes me look different is the love I have for monochromatic colours. So, most of my outfits tend to consist of black, white or grey pieces.

Where are your favourite places to shop?

Some of my favourite places to shop are luggage stores. As well as bags and suitcases, luggage stores sometimes have great and unique clothes at affordable prices. I also genuinely like browsing Amazon for clothes and other accessories such as wallets and belts. I also shop in Primark and sometimes look around in Blue Banana. I will also only buy something if I’m going to wear it often. I don’t like this whole idea of ‘throw-away culture’ and only wearing something once.

What item of clothing makes you feel the most comfortable and confident?

Probably my studded belt. It goes with anything and no matter what I wear I can always express my true sense of style with it. This belt makes me feel confident and put together.

Are there any fashion trends you particularly like?

Not really, I don’t follow trends I just go with what inspires me no matter if it is considered old or outdated. However, I do like chain wallets even if they are considered old or tacky. I also really like and admire upcycled clothing. It’s amazing when people repurpose old garments such as turning old jeans into a jacket. I like the creative aspects of fashion that allow people to create different DIY projects.

Are there any fashion trends you don’t like?

Plenty, I am not a big fan of the ripped clothing trend, particularly ripped jeans. I also don’t really like athletic clothing such as jogging bottoms, or the idea of men showing their boxer shorts off above their trousers. I prefer to shop sustainably and therefore I don’t really like anything that involves bad quality products or fast production. But if these make others happy then I’m happy.

How has your sense of style changed during your time at university?

Well as pictured on the page, the photo of me in my black and white jumper was taken at the beginning of my first year at Cardiff, I call it my nerd jumper and it’s my favourite one. However, within my first year, I started experimenting with wearing clothing with bolder graphic designs on and I also started expressing my alternative side more. I really began to enjoy this, and my style subsequently evolved as I also grew out my hair. On top of this, I have also begun to experiment with upcycling my clothes, with my first project a sleeveless denim jacket that I am thinking of adding some studs and patches.

What is one fashion item you couldn’t live without?

My studded belt. We are inseparable. I remember getting it and how happy I was with it. I got it near the start of university. I can wear it with jeans or even a suit if I wanted. It’s practical and in my opinion, nobody should leave their house without their belt.

Talk us through one of your most memorable outfits.

This outfit is one of my most worn ones. It is basically a graphic shirt depicting a Tiger with a big thick hoodie on top. The hoodie has the grim reaper on it and in the pictures, you can see the skulls on the sleeves. These types of hoodies are designed for bikers so the sleeves and other images glow in the dark. The jeans I am wearing are slim fit. I pick jeans mostly for their colour so anything monochromatic or dark blue. In terms of shoes, I’m not really that fussy. I wear shoes for practicality so standard canvas ones here. Also, not visible in the pictures, I have a studded belt and chain wallet on. This is pretty much my everyday outfit, both practical and fashionable.

Interviewed by: Maggie Gannon Design by: Isabel Brewster

Illustration by: @moonlanding.illustrations

Photographer: Hannah Layton, @laytonhannah Model: Reuben Fatoye, @reubenfatoye

Reclaiming SluttineSS

It all starts when we hit puberty. Then suddenly a tighter top is no longer cute – it’s provocative. It distracts the boys because our nipples are showing. It attracts the attention of that creepy construction worker by your house. Suddenly, your body is no longer yours because it is getting ready to reproduce.

I very vividly remember the first time I went to the New Yorker and put on a skin-tight dress. I was 11 years old. It was the first time I felt scared of the people that might look at me in this very specific way – like I’m a glazed doughnut. That was the first time, of many to come when I felt ashamed of my developing body because it was viewed as sexual.

At a certain point in puberty, we reach a time when our minds are not nearly as ready as our bodies to begin the sexual journey. Unfortunately, for femalepresenting individuals, it means that before we even know anything more about sex – we are perceived as sexual objects. This is when our choices of clothes become judged based on their connections to sex and sex work. We hear “you cannot wear that – you look like a hooker”. We get slut-shamed a long time before we start to have sex. We are conditioned to fit into the canvas of obedient wallflowers – virgins upon marriage. But you know what doesn’t make any sense to me? That then we are supposed to be those sex goddesses, freaks in the sheets. Do you think that this comes without any practice?? Girl...

Shame is a tool of control. Because afraid and ashamed we are easier to manipulate.

It took me a long time to understand that being a slut is not about what you wear, your fantasies or even the number of sexual partners you have had. It is a mindset of self-belief and trust. It is realising that your sexuality cannot be used against you if you are not ashamed of it.

Thus, I came out as bisexual, became a part of #kinktok. I started to teach about sex on the internet to give everyone a toolbox to fight slut-shaming so that they do not have to go through all the workload on their own as I did. Because I am not interested to surround myself with people who would want to use this information against me.

I am a slutty feminist. But truth be told I still cannot wear dresses as fitted as the one I tried on ten years ago.

Words by: Maja Metera

“We are taught to demonize other women for having a sex life and to suppress our own.”

The male gaze can be defined as representing women as sexual objects for the pleasure of the heterosexual cis male viewer. and I think it is very hard for anyone to say they live separate from the male gaze because we have been brought up to live according to the structure of it. Thus, to find an identity away from it takes time to unravel the never-ending threads, we became tangled in.

I believe this is the first summer I have not dressed for the male gaze and that has taken 21 entire years to shake off. ‘Shake it off’ relating to my earliest known memory of living with internalized misogyny without really knowing why. I held so much hate for the iconic Taylor Swift herself for dating Harry Styles, my first love, and letting myself believe the narrative that all she did was date men to then write catchy lyrics about them. This narrative coming from false media coverage and men who hated her for existing as a sexual being.

We are taught to demonize other women for having a sex life and to suppress our own. On the other hand, you also must remember to dress for men and be kinky but not to the extent that you are a slut!! It is an incredibly confusing world to grow up in. Speaking from my own experience I thrived from living in this boy-obsessed world as it was a safer place. I lived in accordance with the male gaze and thrived off heterosexual male attention. I dressed for them, demonized other women for their sex life with them and suppressed my own sexuality or engaged in sexual intercourse when it best suited them. Could they find my clit? No, of course not. But in my defence, I hypersexualized myself in heteronormative norms to hide the fact I just wanted to get with women. I competed with men and created this boycrazy persona as a mask to hide the reality - all the women in my class were a lot better looking than the men… in my opinion.

‘Coming out’ I guess helped to remove my internalized male gaze and find what I liked, in both my wardrobe and sex life without thinking, would a man like this? If 14 year old me could see me now she probably would call me a slut but that’s the internalized misogyny to blame.

Words by: Hope Docherty Design by: Isabel Brewster

Illustration by: @artsyfifi