June 2017 | issue 268 | Qsaltlake.com
The reactions have varied from reluctant support to outright anger about the decision I made. People found words of support, but there was definitely an atmosphere of stigmatizing me for being irresponsible for not taking my meds. This was the only way I saw to make them listen. I think of it as akin to Mandela going on a hunger strike in prison. It came across to me as an act of control, manipulation and an outright negation of my own agency. In the world where there is HIV-related stigma, most people don’t know how to support the poz community. They either shame you into taking meds or call you predatory, especially if you’re black, for not controlling your viral-load. I was told that I could look like a patient from the film _Philadelphia_ if I didn’t take my meds. The framework of these arguments and criticism reminds me of what is at the heart of white supremacy and its conduit capitalism: within these constructs people really believe they own you. They tell you that your life belongs to others and you must think of them first. Denying autonomy is probably the worst form of violence ever! I know that family, friends and lovers are scared and that’s OK. I ask them to turn their attention on the leadership of these organizations and elected officials to stop Nurit Shein and other institutions from continuing to harm those made vulnerable by oppression. What is the overall outcome you hope for? What’s desired is a complete overhaul of Mazzoni’s leadership as a signal to the rest of the city that bad deals, nepotism and anti-blackness will no longer go unchecked as long as the Black and Brown Workers Collective is present. We won’t sit anymore, because when we rise, so does the community. Abdul-Aliy A Muhammad is a Philly-born liberationist organizer with the Black and Brown Workers Collective. They contribute to thebody.com and otherwise provide spaces with anti-oppression trainings with the BlaQollective. Recently they launched a podcast For Colored Boyz, which can be found on SoundCloud. Muhammed previously worked at Mazzoni Center as an HIV prevention counselor and as the coordinator of The Real Impact Project. Muhammad’s mission as a writer and activist is to disrupt the prevailing narratives that create an artificial construction of divide between the poz and non-poz community. Q Savas Abadsidis is the managing editor of Plus magazine. Additional research by Rahel Neirene. This column is a project of Plus, Positively Aware, POZ, The Body, Q Syndicate, and QSaltLake Magazine.
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