FOOD&DRINK
cocktail cha er Look, Darling! A Cocktail Just for Us By Ed Sikov
T
Visit 41 of Salt Lake City’s finest restaurants between September 17 – October 2 and choose a three-course dinner for either $15 or $30. Some participating restaurants offer a delicious two-item lunch special for only $5 or $10. 15
$15 Dinner
Acme Burger Company 30 10 Bambara 30 Bayleaf Café 15 10 Biaggi’s Ristorante Italiano 15 Buca di Beppo 15 10 Caffe Molise 30 10 Cannella’s 15 10 Caputo’s by Night 15 Cedars of Lebanon 15 10 Christopher’s Seafood & Prime Steakhouse 30 10 Copper Canyon Grill House & Tavern 15 10 Copper Onion 30 10 Donovan’s Steak & Chop House 30 Eva Restaurant 30 10
30
$30 Dinner
5
$5 Lunch
Faustina 30 10 Fleming’s Prime Steakhouse and Wine Bar 30 Garden Restaurant 15 Gracie’s 5 Green Pig Pub 15 5 Iggy’s Sports Grill Downtown 15 10 J. Wong’s Asian Bistro 15 5 Lamb’s Grill Café 15 10 Market Street Grill 30 10 Market Street Oyster Bar 30 10 Martine 30 10 Melting Pot 30 Metropolitan 30 10 Naked Fish Japanese Bistro 30 10
10
$10 Lunch
New Yorker 30 10 Oasis Café 15 Olive Bistro 15 10 Red Rock Brewing Company 15 10 Robin’s Nest 5 Ruth’s Chris Steak House Sage’s Café 15 10 Sandbar Mexican Grill 15 10 Settebello Pizzeria Napoletana 15 10 Squatters Pub Brewery 15 10 Star of India 30 10 Takashi 30 Tin Angel Café 30 10 Vienna Bistro 30 10 Wild Grape Bistro 30 10
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For information visit www.dineoround.com
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HE PUPPIES WERE IN RESIDENCE that weekend, which meant the rest of us gorged on calorie-free eye candy, since the boys were untouchable. The best we could do was smell them. Robbie had a distinct personal funk that shifted a little from day to day: top notes of salt water with middle notes of two rank men — Robbie and the previous night’s trick. Kyle, on the other hand, always smelled faintly of Dr. Bronner’s peppermint soap, which blended with his naturally sweet disposition to create aromatically the ideal playmate, soulmate, best friend, husband and ultimately survivor, weeping over the grave even as he inherits the fortune. I had a major crush on him. CNN’s prepster-geek reporter Jack Fogg showed up, too, along with his glorious boyfriend, Sammy. Dan came straight from the airport (conference in Cleveland) in a stressed, must-be-medicated state. And with the angel of cocktail creation smiling upon us, it was Craig’s weekend as well. If you found yourself in a Tarantinodesigned slaughterhouse with a large enough beam balance, you could hang Craig on one hook and the rest of us on the opposite end, and Craig would still remain on the ground. Not really, but in the Pines, Craig felt like (and frankly looked like) a mastodon. But he adored the beach and loved our house, so he braved the stares and not-even-stifled laughs of skinny, giggling twinkies who didn’t have a quarter of Craig’s wit. He dismissed them Bugs Bunny-style as “maroons.” We were all in the living room late on Saturday afternoon when Craig, as though by instinct, launched into one of his routines: a frightfully accurate imitation of a certain glamorous 1950s song belter. He ran through bits from It’s Always Fair Weather and Kismet, and even the song she sings (uncredited) in Bette Davis’s Mr. Skeffington. I was, as usual, enthralled and applauded at the end; Dan grinned with joy. Craig’s Dolores Gray was phenomenal. He even claims to have coached Lypsinka.
Jack and Sammy were polite but clueless. Kyle said, with wide-eyed wonder, “Wow! You’re really good! Who was that? She’s amazing!” At which point Robbie stood up, stretched dramatically to show off his chili-red treasure trail, and announced, “Why do bitter queens love clownish women from old movies nobody else cares about? I’m too young for this. I won’t be back for dinner.” And out the door he strolled. “Asshole,” said Kyle. Dan seethed. Jack and Sammy kept their mouths shut; they probably agreed with Robbie but were too polite to say it. I was offended across the board — for Craig, for old movies, for the late Dolores Gray — and was paralyzed with outrage. “Robbie’s hot,” Sammy observed. Jack threw a pillow at him. “Eureka!” Craig declared. “I have just invented a cocktail to celebrate the revelation that Robbie is an agent of Satan. I always thought there was something suspicious about that flaming red hair. Gents? Who would like a Bitter Queen?” “What goes into a bitter queen?” Kyle asked innocently. “Nothing! That’s the problem!” Craig batted back. Here’s Craig’s incredibly simple and quite delicious recipe. We collectively added the descriptive details during a slightly sodden dinner:
‘I have just invented a cocktail to celebrate the revelation that Robbie is an agent of Satan’
The Bitter Queen Take last night’s martini glass with the dregs still in it, and toss the dregs in the sink. Don’t rinse out the glass. Add a bit too much Jameson Irish Whiskey and three or four dashes of Angostura Bitters. Plunk a single, pathetic ice cube into the glass. For the full effect, drink it alone. Variation: “The Bitter Old Queen”: use Jameson 12-year Special Reserve. Q
Ed Sikov is the author of Dark Victory; The Life of Bette Davis and other books about films and filmmakers.
3 4 | QSa lt L a k e | issue 164 | Sep te mber 30, 2010