QSaltLake Magazine - April 16 2007

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FREE

ay & Les Utah’s G

APRIL 16, 2007

GA ZINE   A M T N E M NTERTAIN E & s w bian Ne

ISSUE 76

Court Ruling Is Dividing Families

Jones v. Barlow ‘in loco parentis’ decision used to thwart visitation

Bountiful PTA Threatens Withdrawal PFLAG scholarship ad draws ire of PTA board

SL County to Consider Health Benefits Civil Unions Bill Passes Washington Legislature Crossword and Sudoku Get Your Geek On Comics The Gay Agenda

A P R I L 16 , 2 0 0 7    I S S U E 76    Q S A LT L A K E 

Disney Offers ‘Fairy Tale’ Wedding Services to Gays

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Contents APRIL 1–15, 2007

Our Annual Most Faaabulous Readers’ Choice Awards Page 22

Opinion From the Editor . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14 Ruby Ridge. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21 Queer Gnosis. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16 Ruth Hackford-Peer. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17 Ryan Shattuck . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16 In Search Of. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20 Gay Geeks . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 33

Court Ruling Divides Utah Families

Lambda Lore. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18

Arts & Entertainment

Page 8

Bountiful PTA Threatens Withdrawal Over PFLAG Ad

The Gay Agenda. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26 Interview with Tom Hewitt. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27 Dining Guide. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .31

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Hollywood Buzz. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 34

SL County to Discuss Benefits for Domestic Partners

QTips-y. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 35

Page 12

Comics. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 35 Crossword, Sudoku. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 37 Horoscope . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 37 Classifieds . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 39

QSaltLake is proud to sponsor the prizes of April’s Utah Cyber Slut Bingo A collaborative fund raiser of the Utah Pride Center and the Utah Cyber Sluts.

The Back Page. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 40

Friday, April 13

Doors at 6:15, Bingo at 7pm Editor-in-Chief

Michael Aaron Assistant Editor

JoSelle Vanderhooft Arts Editor

Tony Hobday Journalists

PHOTOGRAPHERS

Delaney Pederson JoSelle Vanderhooft

OFFICE MANAGER

Tony Hobday PUBLISHER

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Anthony Cuesta Troy Espera Ruth Hackford-Peer Chad Keller Laurie Mecham Jennifer Medvin, RN J. Paul Miles David Nelson Ruby Ridge Mikey Rox David Samsel Ryan Shattuck Mark Thrash Ross Von Metzke Dylan Vox Duane Wells Ben Williams Troy Williams

SALES

Michael Aaron Joshua Barnes JoSelle Vanderhooft

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News

UK Bishop Faces Tribunal for Refusing Gay Man Employment By Anthony Cuesta

World

Archbishop of Wales Urges Tolerance In Easter Message By Anthony Cuesta

London — In his Easter message Rt. Rev. Dr. Barry Morgan, the Anglican Church in Wales’ leader, warned the church has become a place where gay people feel marginalized and women do not have equality with men. The message came as a Cardiff tribunal heard the Church of England’s Hereford diocese deny discrimination against a gay man turned down for a post. Morgan said gay people in the church felt “increasingly isolated.” “For Jesus there were no prior conditions for being accepted by God whatever your sex, status or position. But we still live in a church where it is not possible for women to be bishops,” he said.

Morgan also called for an end to child labor, sex trafficking and homelessness. Morgan’s message on tolerance for gay people comes at the same time as a Church of England bishop has denied in a tribunal unlawfully discriminating against a gay man turned down for a post within his diocese. The Bishop of Hereford, Rt. Rev. Anthony Priddis, has told the ongoing hearing in Cardiff he was complying with church teachings when he decided not to give John Reaney, from Llandudno, a job as youth worker. Reaney, 41, claims being openly gay cost him the job.

London — A bishop accused of refusing to employ a youth worker because he is gay faced a landmark legal battle in the week of April 1. According to This Is London, the Right Reverend Anthony Priddis, Bishop of Hereford, will be called before an employment tribunal to answer allegations that he broke discrimination laws. John Reaney, 41, from North Wales, said he was told a job offer was a ‘formality’ after winning the unanimous backing of an eight-member interview panel which included two vicars. According to the BBC, Reany claims Priddis then asked him “humiliating” personal questions about his private life, quizzing him over his sexual orientation and left in no doubt he would not be offered the job. The diocese said Reaney had never been offered the job. The two-day tribunal began in Cardiff on April 4. The Church of England’s policy is that all homosexual staff must remain celibate. Equality laws passed in 2003 made it illegal to discriminate against workers because of their sexual orientation. But religious organizations were given an exemption and are allowed to turn down practicing homosexuals for clerical roles. The bishop’s lawyers are expected to argue that lay appointments should also be free from the anti-discrimination laws. If they are successful, the church would be able to block other actively gay candidates from nonclerical positions such as youth workers or press officers. Alison Downie, partner and head of employment at Bindman and Partners, said in a statement: “My client is a committed Christian who has devoted his life to sharing his Christian faith with others.” “He regrets having to bring this claim but he felt he had no option. The church discriminated against him on the grounds of his sexual orientation when the Bishop of Hereford refused to confirm his appointment to the post.” Ben Summerskill, chief executive of the gay equality organization Stonewall, which is funding the action, said in a statement: “It is utterly inappropriate that the Church or anyone else should seek to summarily dismiss or refuse to employ someone on the basis of sexual orientation.” “This is the first time that this will be tested in a completely open tribunal and it is absolutely proper that the Bishop of Hereford himself is required to attend.”

UK College to Allow Same-Sex Civil Partnerships on Property

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London — On March 27 Canterbury Christ Church University decided to allow civil partnership ceremonies to take place on its properties after months of debate. This decision came about after a recent meeting that included both staff and student representatives. It had previously been the policy of the Anglican-owned university not to allow these ceremonies to take place at the two properties it owns. But the UK’s new Equality Act will not permit discrimination based on gender. This contradiction created much debate between the university, which wanted to keep these unions from taking place on the school’s properties, and the students and the teachers, who opposed this line of thinking. At the time the debate was going strong, Tony Booth, a

professor of inclusive education said, “I could hardly believe that my university was indulging in this gratuitous act of bigotry.” The students union said the school was not in touch with the students or the public at large. The college’s vice chancellor, Michael Wright, said that the choice to allow these ceremonies was ultimately made “in view of the forthcoming change in the law.” In the past he said the school was in favor of the church’s view of embracing civil partnership, but not seeing it as the same as marriage. The properties the university owns are St Martin’s Priory in Canterbury and Salomons in Tunbridge Wells. Founded in 1962 by the Church of England, the Canterbury Christ Church University educates more than 14,000 students, with a focus on the public services. The UK’s Civil Partnership Act has been in existence since 2004. It allows same-sex couples to have the same rights as those couples who have civil marriages, including rights regarding property, taxes and children.

Chinese Website Launches Country’s First Gay-Focused Show By Anthony Cuesta

Tokyo, Japan — On April 5 a Web site in China launched what its producer describes as the country’s first show to focus on gay issues and the first with an openly gay host. The weekly, hour-long Internet TV show Tongxing Xianglian, or Connecting Homosexuals, debuted on phoenixtv.com. The Web site is run by the same media company that runs the Phoenix satellite TV station. Producer Gang Gang said clips from the online show will be aired on the broadcaster. For singer and bar-owner, Qiao Qiao, talking about her sexuality live on an Internet broadcast accessible to millions of people was easier than telling her parents that she was a lesbian. “My mother was very supportive,” she said as cameras rolled in a small studio in northwest Beijing. “But my father still has not accepted it.” “He said I was young and would feel different when I was older ... But he is still saying that even though I’m now in my thirties,” she continued. Gang said that while gays and lesbians have appeared on Chinese TV shows, this will be the first show to focus on gay issues and the first with an openly gay host, AIDS activist Didier Zheng. He said he hopes the Beijing-based show will improve public understanding of Chinese gays and lesbians. “There are many people in China’s gay community, but people don’t have a deep enough understanding about this community. This community faces a lot of trouble and difficulties. They face a lot of pressure,” Gang said. Gays and lesbians were strongly persecuted after China’s 1949 communist revolution, condemned as products of decadent Western and feudal societies. Official attitudes gradually have changed since the late 1980s. In 2001, the China Psychiatric Association stopped listing homosexuality as a mental illness. “China is more and more open. In big cities, there are many gay groups participating in all sorts of activities,” Gang told Reuters. “Of course, discrimination remains. The kind of pressure on gay people in China is different to the pressure in Western countries. In the West, it is usually pressure brought by religion. In China, it is usually family and neighbors and peers.” Q

8?==;HÈ8;JJ;HÈD;MIMEHJ> OÈ?DJ;H;IJ?D=ÈH;7:78B;È8H? N Disney Opens Up ‘Fairy Tale’ LESBIAT MAGAZINE D N A GAY MEN =>J;HÈJ?C;BOÈ97CFOÈ9ECF; UTAH’S& ENTERTAIN Weddings to Same-Sex Couples BB?D=ÈJ>EK=>J#FHELEA?D=È NEWS >?B7H?EKIÈ<KDÈC;7D?D=<KBÈ LOCAL NEWS. M?JJOÈ=7OÈ?DI?=>J<KBÈ?DJH? =K?D=È8;D;<?9?7BÈIKFFEHJ?L LOCAL WRITERS. ;È8K?B:?D=È=HEM?D=ÈI;NOÈ9 LARGEST. KJJ?D= ;:=;È=H7J?<O?D=È87 B7D9;:È?D<EHC7J?L;ÈIEKB<K ON-TIME. BÈM7HCÈJ?C;BOÈ9ECF;BB?D= THE ONLY ONE ÈH;7:78B;È?DJ;H;IJ?D=È97CF YOU READ. O8?==;HÈ8;JJ;HÈD;MIMEHJ >OÈ?DJ;H;IJ?D=ÈH;7:78B;È8 Get 3 H?=>J;HÈJ?C;BOÈ97CFOÈ9EC F;BB?D=ÈJ>EK=>J#FHELEA?D FREE Issues! =È>?B7H?EKIÈ<KDÈC;7D?D=<K Call 649-6663 or BÈM?JJOÈ=7OÈ?DI?=>J<KBÈ?DJ H?=K?D=È8;D;<?9?7BÈIKFFEHJ 1-800-806-7357 ?L;È8K?B:?D=È=HEM?D=ÈI;NOÈ 9KJJ?D= ;:=;È=H7J?<O?D=È8 New Hampshire House Passes Civil IkXiYh_X[ Union Bill for Gay Couples 7B7D9;:È?D<EHC7J?L;ÈIEKB< '+ (KBÈM7HCÈJ?C;BOÈ9ECF;BB?D =ÈH;7:78B;È?DJ;H;IJ?D=È97C FOÈ8;D;<?9?7BÈIKFFEHJ?L;È8 K?B:?D=È=HEM?D=ÈI;NOÈ9KJJ ?D= ;:=;È=H7J?<O?D=È87B7D 9;:È?D<EHC7J?L;ÈIEKB<KBÈ National

Los Angeles, Calif. — Walt Disney announced on April 5 that it has decided to open up its Fairy Tale Weddings service to include same-sex couples. The company had previously only allowed them to have weddings at the Disney resorts’ meeting rooms. “This is consistent with our policy of creating a welcoming, respectful and inclusive environment for all of our guests,” Disney Parks and Resorts spokesperson Donn Walker said. The change in policy came about after a guest inquired about the Fairy Tale Wedding service, Walker said. In March, popular gay Web site AfterElton.com took issue with the company’s policy. The Fairy Tale Wedding has a minimum cost of $8,000. For that price, guests get a wedding planner, food, drinks, flowers, table decorations and the ceremony itself. There is also an option to get taken to the wedding in a Cinderella coach, to have trumpeters announcing the couple and to have Mickey and Minnie Mouse as wedding guests. The Southern Baptist Convention has been angry at Disney for eight years for what it perceived as its furthering of the “gay agenda.” Various conservative organizations have also boycotted the company because of

today’s vote shows that this is not an issue of Democrat or Republican but it is an issue of equality that crosses party lines. There is a trend underway in our country to recognize the relationships of same-sex couples and that is a welcome sign of equality for all Americans.” The bill now moves for consideration in the New Hampshire state Senate. If passed there, it would go to Gov. John Lynch’s desk for signing into law. Connecticut, New Jersey, and Vermont have civil union laws for samesex couples. California and Maine have a similar relationship recognition law that is termed a domestic partnership.

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A P R I L 16 , 2 0 0 7    I S S U E 76    Q S A LT L A K E 

Los Angeles, Calif. — In a bipartisan 243–129 vote on April 4, the New Hampshire State House passed civil unions legislation that would give same-sex couples the exact same rights and responsibilities as heterosexual married couples in the state. The legislation would also make it possible for New Hampshire to recognize civil unions that were legally performed in other states that recognize same-sex relationships. “This is a tremendous step forward for same-sex couples in New Hampshire to finally receive the legal recognition they deserve,” said Human Rights Campaign President Joe Solmonese. “The bipartisan nature of

Disney’s policy of giving health insurance to employees’ same-sex partners; permitting a “Gay Day” on their property; and airing Ellen, the popular sitcom which starred Ellen DeGeneres, on Disney-owned ABC. Walker said that the change in policy is all about extending equal rights to all its customers. “We are not in the business of making judgments about the lifestyle of our guests. We are in the hospitality business and our parks and resorts are open to everyone,” he said.

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News Rabbinical Schools Vote to Accept Gays and Lesbians BY ANTHONY CUESTA

LOS ANGELES, CALIF. — After months of debate, the major seminary and flagship institution of Conservative Judaism said it will start accepting openly gay and lesbian students to its rabbinical and cantorial schools. Arnold Eisen, the incoming chancellor for the Jewish Theological Seminary, said the decision was made after extensive discussion with faculty and students, a survey on views of the issue within the movement and a meeting of the school’s trustees. “The larger issue has been how we can remain true to our tradition in general and to halakah [Jewish law] in particular while staying fully responsive to and immersed in our society and culture,” Eisen said in a statement distributed on April 2 to the school community and its supporters. The Conservative branch holds the middle ground in American Judaism, adhering to tradition while allowing some change for modern circumstances. The larger and more liberal Reform Jewish

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National movement, as well as the smaller Reconstructionist wing, allow gays to become rabbis; the Orthodox branch bars gays and women from ordination. The change comes after months of consultation, including the commissioning of a movement-wide survey that found support for the move among a majority of Conservative rabbis, cantors, lay leaders and seminarians. Earlier last month, a smaller Conservative seminary in Los Angeles, the Ziegler School of Rabbinic Studies at the University of Judaism, announced that it has accepted its first openly gay and lesbian applicants.

Indiana Same-Sex Marriage Ban Fails In House Committee BY ANTHONY CUESTA

INDIANAPOLIS, IND. — Same-sex marriage advocates in Indiana celebrated April 3 when a House committee voted down a proposed ban on gay unions. Gay-rights activists said that the committee’s ruling Tuesday was a major victory as it likely will eliminate the political motion from the agenda for this

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year’s legislative session. “This truly is significant,” Indiana Equity lobbyist John Joanette told the Indianapolis Star. “This was all about doing what’s right for the state of Indiana and the people of Indiana.” House Minority Leader Brian Bosma, R-Indianapolis, said House Speaker Patrick Bauer orchestrated the proposal’s demise in the House Rules Committee, which on Tuesday voted 5-5 in support of the constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage. Bosma said some of the votes were “flip-flops.” Four of the five Democrats who voted against the measure on April 3 voted for it in 2005, when it passed the House and Senate. Bosma said Bauer, D-South Bend, broke his pledge to allow the issue to move forward so that voters could consider it on the 2008 general election ballot. Bauer, however, said he did let the process move forward. Had the resolution cleared the committee, he added, he would have allowed a full House vote — something he pledged during last year’s campaign.

Connecticut School Allows AntiGay Talk BY ANTHONY CUESTA

HARTFORD, CONN. — Despite objections from the principle, a Connecticut high school allowed an anti-gay preacher to speak to students about the sinfulness of homosexuality. Valerie Pinnex, a formerly gay North Carolina pastor who preaches that homosexuality is sinful, and urges gays to change their sexual orientation, spoke to Danbury High School on April 5. She was invited by the Youth Alive Biblestudy club to counter an event held the previous day that encouraged acceptance of gay students. The student Bible-study group invited Pinnex as part of “Day of Truth” activities. The event was founded in 2004 to counter the national “Day of Silence” in which students remain silent during the school day to raise awareness about discrimination against gays. The Gay, Lesbian, Straight Education Networksponsored “Day of Silence” event was held at Danbury High on April 4. Danbury High Principal Catherine Richard initially objected to student Rosemary Shakro’s request to invite Pinnex. But the district allowed the visit after Shakro’s family contacted the Alliance Defense Fund, the national conservative group that created the “Day of Truth” concept. The organization threatened to sue if Pinnex was prohibited from speaking there. “We didn’t mean to hurt anyone. The Day of Truth is to show love and compassion, and another point of view if they are willing to change,” Shakro told the New York Post. The event occurred as planned after the district’s attorney told Superintendent of Schools Salvatore Pascarella that banning Pinnex would violate the students’ First Amendment rights. Richard said she initially objected because she did not want the school to host a discussion that might promote intolerance. “We promote respecting each other, taking pride in each other, and having an environment where every student, of every sexual preference, every race and creed, can feel valued and wanted and that they will be listened to,” she said. Pinnex told the students she was gay in high school. She said she became a

police officer working security detail for presidents Bush, Sr. and Clinton, then became a born-again Christian and decided her homosexuality put her on the wrong path.

Federal Judge: FL Students Can Form Gay-Straight Alliance MIAMI, FLA. — On April 7 a district court decision ordered Okeechobee High School to officially recognize and allow equal access to the Okeechobee High School Gay Straight Alliance. “This decision sends a clear message to other schools that they face a similar fate in federal court if they choose to discriminate by deliberately misrepresenting GSAs as something they’re not,” lead attorney Rob Rosenwald, director of the ACLU of Florida’s LGBT Advocacy Project and John C. Graves Fellow, said. “Violence and harassment against gay students is a rampant problem in Florida.” “This is great news,” added Yasmin Gonzalez, an ACLU plaintiff and president of the Okeechobee GSA. “I am so glad that we’re going to be allowed to meet on campus just like kids in other clubs already do. Even though I am graduating this year, I now know that by standing up to intolerance today, future students at OHS will benefit from a more open environment and not have to endure the same treatment from our school in the future.” The ruling by U.S. District Court Judge K. Michael Moore is the first to find that GSAs are not by definition “sex-based” clubs, rejecting the school’s argument that the club that would violate its abstinence-only education policy. The order was granted primarily on the basis that the Federal Equal Access Act requires schools that allow any extracurricular club to meet on campus to allow all clubs to meet on campus. The ACLU has won other recent GSA victories across the nation, from Madera, California, to White County, Georgia. This was also the first time a federal court has heard an Equal Access Act challenge in Florida. The preliminary injunction order will allow the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and straight students to meet on campus during the course of the case to discuss issues about bullying, tolerance and discrimination. GSAs across the state and country have been shown to help gay and straight students feel safer at school, and provide an open forum for students to discuss their fears, hopes and challenges. Rosenwald noted that the Florida legislature is currently considering a bill banning bullying and harassment in Florida schools that does not protect these vulnerable students. “Okeechobee High School administrators have sent the message that their gay and lesbian students are less deserving of the law’s protection,” he said. “The Florida legislature should help by specifically protecting gay students from bullying and harassment.” The ACLU filed the federal lawsuit last November after students at Okeechobee High School were denied access to meet on campus by their principal, Toni Wiersma. Gonzalez, a senior, approached the ACLU and after several failed attempts by the ACLU to convince the school to comply with the Federal Equal Access Act, the lawsuit was filed. After hearing oral arguments from both sides in February, the judge denied the school’s motion to dismiss the case. Q

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Washington’s five openly-gay state legislators, Rep. Joe McDermott, D-West Seattle; Rep. Jim Moeller, D-Vancouver; Sen. Ed Murray, D-Seattle; Rep. Jamie Pedersen, D-Seattle; and Rep. Dave Upthegrove, D-Des Moines

State of Washington Passes Domestic Partner Bill

Olympia, Wash. — Nearly a year after the state Supreme Court upheld Washington’s Defense of Marriage Act banning samesex marriage, the state Legislature passed a bill giving gay and lesbian couples some of the rights that come with marriage. The measure passed 65-35 April 10. Two Democrats opposed the bill and three Republicans supported it. The state Senate approved the bill in March, and it now heads to Gov. Chris Gregoire, who is expected to sign it into law. In floor debate, openly gay Rep. Joe McDermott, D-Seattle appealed to the heart strings of his fellow legislators. “From the Palouse to Alki Point, this bill provides real relief,� he said. “If you’ve ever fallen in love, I call on you to support this legislation whether you welcome it or it makes you uncomfortable.� Openly gay state Sen. Ed Murray hailed the bill’s passage. “It is an important step, I believe, for turning back the horrendous law that this legislature passed in 1998, to deny gay and lesbian families the right to marry,� he said. A coalition of the five openly-gay lawmakers in the state House and Senate introduced legislation this session that would allow gay marriage, but it died in committee. The Defense of Marriage Act, passed in 1998, restricts marriage to unions between a man and a woman. A divided state Supreme Court upheld that law last July in a 5-4 decision, overruling two lower courts, which had found the same-

sex marriage ban unconstitutional. The domestic partnership bill would create a domestic partnership registry with the state, and would provide enhanced rights for same-sex couples, including hospital visitation rights, the ability to authorize autopsies and organ donations and inheritance rights when there is no will. To be registered, couples would have to share a home, not be married or in a domestic relationship with someone else, and be at least 18. Unmarried, heterosexual senior couples would also be eligible for domestic partnerships if one partner were at least 62. Lawmakers said that provision was included to help seniors who are at risk of losing pension rights and Social Security benefits if they remarry. Opponents argued it was a “marriage light� bill that would dilute traditional marriage. “We are chipping away at the very foundations of this institution and of society,� said Republican state Rep. Bill Hinkle. “This is taking us down a road we do not need to go.� In December, New Jersey adopted civil unions for same-sex couples, joining Connecticut and Vermont. Massachusetts allows gay couples to marry, while California has domestic partnerships that bring full marriage rights. Hawaii has a reciprocal benefits law that gives same-sex partners some rights, in areas of insurance, property, pension and hospital visitation.

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Colorado May OK Gay Adoptions Kurt Olsson, a member of the Colorado Association of Family and Children’s Agencies, said he feared the bill would result in an overload of new adoption cases in the courts. He also worried about the effect the bill would have on children. “Children could essentially be possessed like property and transferred from parent to parent,� he said. But Veiga defended the bill, saying that it would only involve kids whose parents were together for a long period of time. These children, she pointed out, would actually be helped by the bill, because they would be getting the insurance and benefits from both parents, if one becomes deceased. Veiga introduced a successful amendment which would allow for counseling for the parents and home study prior to the adoption. Veiga added that the bill is about securing the rights of children and acknowledging all kinds of families. “It basically says, ‘We’re not going to cover our eyes,’� she said. “‘We’re not going to pretend these families don’t exist.’�

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Denver, Colo. — On April 2, a bill allowing adoptions by same-sex couples was approved by a Senate committee in Denver, by a 3-2 vote. The measure passed in the House without contest on March 9 and will now be sent to the full Senate. Colorado’s current adoption law says that single people can adopt, but couples can only adopt if they are married. In Colorado, same-sex couples cannot get married. “House Bill 1330 would extend the right of second-parent adoption to same-sex couples, unmarried heterosexual couples and relatives living with unmarried mothers,� The Gazette reported. Though the bill was approved, it was opposed by the majority of Republicans. Additionally, psychologist Paul Cameron from the Family Research Institute discussed studies that said gay people had more of a chance of being criminals and illegal drug users. Jennifer Veiga, a gay Senate sponsor, said the research was not accurate. Cameron was thrown out of the American Psychological Association in 1984 for misrepresenting his research into homosexuality.

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Local News

‘Jones v. Barlow’ Ruling Dividing Local Families by JoSelle Vanderhooft joselle@qsaltlake.com

Like everyone facing a divorce or a separation, Gina Herrera hoped that things would remain amicable when she chose to end her 14-year relationship with partner Holli Whiting. At the beginning, she says they were. “We all got along,� said Herrera, 37, speaking from the office of her attorney Lauren Barros. “My partner Ann and I have always wanted to be all-inclusive. We wanted to include Holli and [Whiting and Herrera’s daughter] Madison in

all we could. We would have birthday parties for Madison that Holli and her girlfriend would be invited to. We wanted Maddie to have stability. Initially, I saw Maddie every day of every week. I thought things were working out.� “There was nothing to indicate this would happen.� Herrera is referring to the turn the break-up took after Feb. 16, when the Utah Supreme Court handed down its ruling in the landmark case of Jones v. Barlow, the 18-month long legal battle between a former lesbian couple over

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Gina Herrera who ended a 14-year relationship with Holli Whiting

the custody of a child conceived through artificial insemination. After the couple separated in 2003, Barlow said she had become a born-again Christian and did not want Jones to have access to their twoyear-old daughter, in part because Jones still identified as gay. The Supreme Court overturned an earlier ruling in which 3rd District Judge Timothy Hanson ruled that the doctrine of in loco parentis (Latin for “in place of a parent�) applied in Jones’ situation. Because Jones had fulfilled a parental role in the child’s birth by entering into a co-guardianship agreement with Barlow and paying child support after their breakup, Hanson said Jones still had visitation rights. The Utah Supreme Court overturned Hanson’s ruling, stating that common law concepts like “in loco parentis� did not guarantee a non-biological parent visitation rights after the termination of a parent-like relationship. Therefore, Jones could not be granted visitation rights against the wishes of her daughter’s biological parent. Herrera contends that this ruling is the reason she hasn’t seen Madison in two months. Two days after the ruling she said she received an email from Whiting stating that Whiting was exercising her right as their daughter’s biological parent and terminating Herrera’s visitation rights. She asked Herrera not to contact her further. Whiting told QSaltLake she had no comment and referred the paper to her lawyer, Bryant J. McConkie of Strong & Hanni. McConkie had not returned a call seeking comment by press time. But like Jones (whom Herrera’s attorney Barros also represented), Herrera said she is a parent to Madison no matter what Utah law says. She said the two had

a co-guardianship agreement, and that Herrera’s parents were named as guardians in case anything happened to both mothers. Also, Herrera said she stayed home with Madison for the first year of her life and paid for most medical costs and two-thirds of the little girl’s schooling. In mediation last November, when Whiting sought to remove guardianship, Herrera even agreed on condition that she would be allowed to make medical decisions for Madison. “I was doing everything any parent would do in a divorce situation,� she said. Unfortunately, Barros interjects, this is the situation a lot of Utah parents are now finding themselves in because of the ruling. And not just gay and lesbian parents like Herrera, either. “In general, when I talk to other family attorneys, they have a t least one client in this situation, because of the gap in the law,� she said. These include step parents and even grandparents “who have been raising children for a long time.� “It’s not strictly a gay issue,� Barros said. For now, Barros and Herrera have filed an amended complaint in court stating that Whiting is not keeping her end of the previous agreement, in which she gave her former partner rights to make medical decisions for Madison. She encourages other parents in Herrera’s situation to take a similar course of action. “It’s important to know what your rights are and what they aren’t,� she said. “And it’s important to organize groups and talk to your legislators. I mean, that’s waht people always say but it’s so important and it affects people so personally and in such a deep way.� But for now, the only thing lawyer and client can do is wait — maybe for months, or years, while their amended complaint works its way through the courts. “It’s hard to say how long it will take, but it’s the only avenue we can pursue. We can’t just do nothing,� said Barros. For Herrera, even not doing something is still difficult because of the uncertainty. “People really need to do what’s in the best interest of the child,� she said. “For myself, I question what my daughter is being told because she’s not seeing me all of a sudden. And worse, if she’s believing it.� Q

Participants Needed for U Study The University of Utah Psychology department is looking for gays and lesbians to participate in an online survey about the appeal of sexually suggestive material (partially clothed men and women). The survey will ask participants to complete two questionnaires. The first asks for information regarding sexual behavior and attractions. The second asks participants to review a slide show of photographs taken from magazines and other sources and rate them for their sexual appeal. Each picture will be of a posing, partially clothed man or woman. Participants’ names will not be associated with any study materials aside from the informed consent sheet. Participants may also leave any question blank on the survey they do not care to answer. The survey is open to people who openly identify as gay or lesbian, between the ages of 18 and 30, who are comfortable with anonymously answering questions about sexual behavior and attitudes and with rating pictures containing partially clothed adults. The survey takes around 30 minutes and participants will be compensated $10 for their time. Take the survey at psych.utah.edu/study.

Take WinterPride Survey, Win a Prize The Utah Pride Center asks participants and attendees of WinterPride 2007 to fill out an online survey about their experiences at the event. The comments will be used in planning WinterPride 2008. As an incentive, all responders will be entered in a drawing to win one of two iPods or one of three Utah Pride 2007 Circle of Pride memberships. Other prizes include gift certificates to local businesses and WinterPride merchandise. To take the survey visit surveymonkey.com/ s.asp?u=538203521237

Center Seeks Award Nominations Utah Pride 2007, “United for Equality,� a program of the Utah Pride Center, is calling for nominations for two annual community awards presented at the Utah Pride Festival’s Grand Marshall Reception. Nominations are currently being accepted from the community at large for the following awards:

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Free STD Tests In honor of National Sexually Transmitted Diseases Awareness Month, the Utah Pride Center is offering free HIV/ STD testing on the 2nd and 4th Wednesday of every month in conjunction with the Utah AIDS Foundation. Testing is held from 5-7 PM at the Center, located at 355 North 300 West.

Center Holds Day of Silence Celebration On April 18, students and teachers across the country will observe the 11th annual Day of Silence, a student-led action to draw awareness to anti-gay bullying, harassment and discrimination in high schools and universities. Students and teachers nationwide will observe the day in silence to echo the silence that LGBT and ally students face everyday. In it’s 11th year, the Day of Silence is one of the largest student-led actions in the country. Following the Day of Silence, local youth aged 13–20 are invited to celebrate by attending the TINT (Tolerant, Intelligent Network of Teens) Center’s Night of Noise! Festivities begin at 5 PM, and include live music by Side Dish, a barbecue and an open mic stage for people to talk about their experience during the Day of Silence. For more information, contact Rachel at rachel@utahpridecenter.com.

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• The Dr. Kristen Ries Community Service Award Established in 1987, awarded to Dr. Kristen Ries for her humanitarian efforts in dealing with the AIDS crisis, and forever named in her honor. This award recognizes outstanding service to the greater gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender community in Utah, and is given to individual(s) who are dedicated to continuing that legacy of service. Those who receive this award are role models for Utah’s gay community, and like Dr. Kristen Ries “exemplify everything that the award has stood for: compassion, leadership and courage.â€? Past winners of the award choose the recipient is chosen from among the nominees. Recent winners include Rep. Jackie Biskupski, Doug Wortham, Ladonna Moore, and Jane and Tami Marquardt. This award recognizes service to the entire community, not just to one organization or group. It is also meant for those who have served without compensation, such as a salary, for over a period of at least five years.

• The Pete Suazo Political Action Award Established in 2002 in honor of Sen. Pete Suazo’s legislative work, his tireless attempts to pass hate crimes legislation in Utah, and his tireless ability to remind his colleagues in the Utah State Legislature of the great diversity found in the state. This award is presented to an elected Utah official who has demonstrated an exceptional commitment to equal rights for the gay community of Utah through legislation, policy or declaration. The recipient is chosen from among nominees by a committee including leaders of Equality Utah, the Stonewall Democratic Club, Log Cabin Republicans, Human Rights Campaign and The Utah Pride Center. Recent winners include Rep. David Litvak, Sen. Karen Hale, Mark Shurtleff and Paula Julander. Honorees for these awards are to be recognized during Utah Pride’s annual Grand Marshal Reception, which kicks of the weekend celebration on Friday, June 1, 2007. Details for the Grand Marshall event can be found on the Utah Pride Festival website utahpride.org. Please submit all nominations for any category by Monday, May 7 at 5:00 p.m. Nominations should be less than one page in length and should include your name, the name of the award you are nominating for and the name of individual you are nominating. Please also include detailed justification about why they deserve the award. Send nominations to: Utah Pride Center Attention: Grand Marshal Awards 355 N 300 W Salt Lake City, UT 84103 Nominations may also be emailed to fran@utahpridecenter.org.

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The Bountiful High School Parent Teachers Association board has threatened to withdraw from the National PTA because an advertisement for the Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays National Scholarship Program appeared in the National PTA’s magazine, Our Children. In a letter mailed to the National PTA and posted on the Bountiful High School PTA President Rose Marie Murray Bountiful High School Web site, board members wrote: “We strongly oppose efforts to impose and legitimize alternative lifestyles on our students and children. We believe that the promotion of alternative lifestyles to the nation’s youth is a breach of the purposes of PTA. Alternative lifestyles have been popularized by the media, but they are incongruous with the purposes of PTA.” “I don’t want anything I say to come across as condemning people, individuals,” said Rose Marie Murray, Bountiful High School PTA president. “But we do not support or encourage the promotion, the advertising, the encouraging of alternative lifestyles.” But condemning, indeed, was the letter sent to the National PTA. “Alternative lifestyles do not promote the welfare of children and youth because they teach nontraditional roles, devalue the unique differences of gender and destabilize the basic social unit of society, the family,” stated the letter. “Alternative lifestyles do not raise the standards of home life; they in fact degrade standards and fly in the face of traditional, time-tested standards leaving confusion and isolation in its place. “Alternative lifestyles do not protect children; they abandon children by exploiting and glamorizing selfishness. “Alternative lifestyles cannot foster intelligent cooperation of any sort between any groups interested in the education of children and youth because they are not scientifically sound. Biologically, the human race cannot self perpetuate by teaching alternative lifestyles. “By destroying the very core of selfconcept, alternative lifestyles do not secure the highest advantages of life possible to children and youth but instead leave them crippled in their efforts to pursue, in particular, mental, social and spiritual education.” Utah PTA President Carmen Snow did not distance himself or the state organization from the statement. “If you sit back and don’t say anything — if you don’t have a voice, it will just keep going,” he said to the Salt Lake Tribune.

The National PTA has teamed with PFLAG in the past, the most recent at the National PTA Conventions in 2004 and 2005 when PFLAG presented workshops entitled, “All for One and One for All: Ending Anti-Gay Bullying.” The National PTA also rejected a presentation at the national convention by the “Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays & Gays,” an “ex-gay” activist organization backed by Jerry Falwell’s Liberty Counsel which is suing its way into schools. The National PTA has also allowed “It’s Elementary,” a documentary for educators that shows how acknowledging gay and lesbian people in schools prevents prejudice and violence, to exhibit at its conference for the last several years. Anna Weselak, president of the National PTA, said the organization focuses more on children than reflecting political points of view. “We make it very clear we work with and partner with a lot of organizations and it doesn’t mean we’re endorsing them at all,” Weselak said to the Tribune. “I know there are PTAs who may not agree with everything we do as a national organization, but it’s a very big country and there’s a lot of issues we need to deal with.” The BHS PTA wrote that they “are offended that National PTA would allow the PFLAG advertisement to appear in a publication supported by our dues monies thereby inferring our support of “gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and questioning high school students and their supporters.” “If PTA continues to promote the alternative lifestyle agenda, which we reiterate is destructive to children, youth and society; we will withdraw our membership in the National PTA organization,” the statement threatened. The PFLAG advertisement sought support for their National Scholarship Program. Under the title, “Dare to Dream?” the advertisement asked, “Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) helps make dreams come true.” “Let PFLAG help secure a brighter future for deserving gay, lesbian, bisexual transgender and questioning high school students and their supporters,” the ad continued, “with a PFLAG scholarship.” “This was about getting an ad in print in a publication that clearly has an audience who would know who these potential students are, who would be interested in applying for these scholarships,” said Jean-Marie Navetta, PFLAG National’s communications director. “All children need to be valued. That’s exactly what these scholarships do.” Those interested in donating to the PFLAG scholarship fund may contact Judy Hoff, (202) 467-8180 ext. 219 or email schools@ pflag.org.

Fabulous People

Keep Your Pinkie OUT! BY JOSELLE VANDERHOOFT JOSELLE@QSALTLAKE.COM

Ask most business people where the future is and they’ll probably tell you in stocks and bonds, or in overseas investments. Ask business partners Brian Johnson and Scott Perry and they’ll likely give you a very different answer: paper plates. Specifically, paper plates bearing the face of a drag queen with five o’clock shadow and a whole lot of attitude. The Utah Cyber Slut-wannabee is Sheeza Mann, and she — er, sheeza — is one of four plate and napkin designs offered through Johnson and Perry’s intriguingly named company, Pinky Buckaroo, which sells party supplies aimed at the gay, lesbian and bisexual community. Johnson, 52, and Perry, 44, didn’t always sell plates and napkins featuring drag queens and naked cowboys, however. Before starting their company in April of last year, Johnson worked as the art director for Indie Built, a Salt Lake City-based video game studio that made such titles as Amped and Inside Pitch. Perry worked as art director for Salt Lake City Magazine for several years. But in April of 2006, they found themselves with a dilemma. Indie Built owner Take 2 (a Microsoft affiliate) suddenly closed the company, leaving Johnson out of work. Perry, meanwhile, was just tired of his job. “So we were talking about what we’d

like to do next and we realized we liked to have parties,” remembers Johnson. “We hadn’t seen any party supplies geared to the gay community.” “So we just withdrew some money from the bank the next day, and we were off to the races,” Perry adds. The two set up their company and christened it after their nicknames: ‘Buckaroo’ for Johnson, who used to ride in the rodeo circuit and ‘Pinky’ for Perry. Pinky? “It seems like every one of my Halloween costumes is a ‘vision in pink,’” Perry laughs. With cash in hand and a name on their letterhead, the business owners got to the next task: designing their product. Deciding that plates and napkins were the most cost-efficient way to go, each put his art background to use. Johnson designed the leather and chains-themed Stud Service plates and southwestern Buck Nekkid service featuring ... well, a cowboy in the buff. Meanwhile, Perry created four different hats and facial expressions for Sheeza. To give buyers something fabulous to put on the plates, they asked their friend Susan Massy to whip up some fun, themed recipes for food and drinks to match each set — recipes available for free on the website with each set’s invitation. “The reason for that is if [customers] like the recipes, they’ll realize they need the plates and napkins to finish off the party,” Johnson explains. And have customers liked the plates as much as the yummy food on them? “We went to a trade show in New York last November and a lot of people walked by,” says Perry. “They’d grin and laugh all the time.” “They had their favorites, but there wasn’t one they didn’t like. Across the board, we didn’t get any negative com-

Pinky Buckaroo owners Scott Perry and Brian Johnson show their wares.

ments,” says Johnson. And then there was the wealthy big city socialite who bought a few sets of the nekkid cowboy for one of her gatherings. And Perry’s mom who bought a set for a Brokeback Mountain party with her girlfriends. Although Perry and Johnson originally designed the plates with gays and lesbians in mind, they both say they aren’t surprised to hear the straight crowd likes them, too. “It hits the straight crowd as well,” Perry explains. “They think the drag queen is funny, but they also like the cowboy, and the leather crowd likes the leather.” Although the plates and napkins have

received a good response, Perry says that sales have been “a little bit slow” during the company’s first year — a fact he attributes to the company starting out near the end of “barbecue and picnic season”, when the demand for paper plates is lower. Still, Johnson says the company hasn’t faced any major financial setbacks. In fact, they’re already getting calls from large distributors about selling their work internationally. They also have some big plans for the next year, including adding downloadable party and online games to the site, and even a few new plate designs. Although those are top secret at the moment, Perry offered one tantalizing clue. “We do have a fun one for the lesbian crowd.” Maybe a butchy friend for Sheeza? Visit Pinky Buckaroo at pinkybuckaroo.com.

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Local News

Wilson Revives SL County Health Benefits Proposal In the summer of 2005, Salt Lake County Councilwoman Jenny Wilson had been on the job for about six months and nearly pulled off an initiative to secure health benefits for gay and lesbian partners of county employees. Her efforts failed by just one vote. Now, he is taking another stab at the idea, but using Salt Lake City’s “adult designee� conSalt Lake County cept to get it through Councilwoman Jenny Wilson this time. The deciding vote two years ago was Republican County Councilman Mark Crockett. He had expressed soft support for the measure right before it came up for vote, but ended up voting no on the measure. “It pains me to send any message to someone if they take it that we don’t value them,� said a tearful Crockett

during his vote. Crockett is now telling the media he not only will vote for the measure, he wants to co-sponsor it. The insurance proposal drafted by Wilson is expected to cost $300,000 annually and will widen the county’s existing employee insurance plan to include “adult designees� — relatives, friends or domestic partners and their children. Wilson is running for mayor of Salt Lake City to replace Rocky Anderson, who has said he has no plans to run for reelection. Asked if the proposal is mere political posturing, Wilson said that she had always intended to revisit the proposal once emotions had died down over the issue. Wilson said that the proposal actually strengthens the county’s insurance program, adding more numbers to the pool.

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BYU-Idaho: Equality Riders Not Welcome Like their Provo counterpart, Brigham Young University’s sister campus in Rexburg, Idaho has forbidden a gay rights group from visiting its campus during a planned stopover April 16-17. Since early March, members of the 2007 Equality Ride, a group of young activists aged 18–29 sponsored by religious-based gay rights group Soulforce, has visited college and university campuses with anti-gay policies across the country. Their two buses, one traveling east and one traveling west, have visited such schools as the University of Notre Dame, George Fox University, Baylor University and Bob Jones University. The group visited Brigham Young University on March 22. Marc Stevens, a BYU Idaho spokesperson, said that if any riders entered the campus or protested on school property, they would be cited for tresspassing, and possibly arrested. “BYU-Idaho is a private institution and we have a long standing policy at the university that outside groups can not use the campus as a forum to advance their agendas,� he told television station KPVI channel 6. “We have asked students to be courteous and to be respectful, we’ve also asked them not to engage Soulforce at all,� he added. Rexburg Police Chief said that officers had attended the March 22 demonstration in Provo in anticipation of the BYU Idaho demonstration, to see if there were “any types of problems that we needed to prepare for.� Archibald said that while he would enforce BYU’s policies, he would also enforce the protesters’ rights to free speech. “We hope that the citizens of this community realize that although their views may be different, they still have the right to express them,� he said. At the BYU protest, Equality Rider Kort Osborn and his mother Karel Allen, both of Kanab, Utah, were arrested when they entered campus to give an easter lily and a wooden box of student grievances to school administrators. Police and BYU officials said they anticipate the same thing happening on the BYU Idaho campus.

Nominations Sought For Out & Equal Nuptials Workplace Awards — The ‘Outies’ For the seventh consecutive year, Out & Equal Workplace Advocates is planning to honor individuals and organizations who have made outstanding contributions to workplace equality for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) employees. The Out & Equal Workplace Awards (or “Outies” as they’re more commonly known) provide organizations and LGBT communities with examples of innovative approaches and proven successes that help create safe and equitable workplaces. Through May 7, nominations are being accepted for the five award categories. Out & Equal presents two awards for individuals, and three awards for organizations.

Trailblazer Award This award recognizes an LGBT person who has made a significant contribution to advancing workplace equality. This individual’s activities will have made a marked improvement in their own workplace and/or have contributed to equality nationally. Champion Award This award recognizes a non-LGBT person who has played a pivotal role in championing equal treatment of LGBT employees on the job. This individual will have shown a unique commitment to LGBT workplace rights and will have used his or her talents to further that cause, even at some risk. Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender Employee Resource Group of the Year This award recognizes a particular employee resource group, sometimes referred to as an affinity group or network, that has a proven record of accomplishment in advocating for LGBT equal rights in its own workplace. Significant Achievement This award recognizes any employer that has made significant strides recently in advancing a fair and equitable workplace for its LGBT employees, such as: announcing parity in domestic partner health insurance, including gender identity diversity training, or initiating a unique general advertising campaign that includes LGBT people.

Workplace Excellence This award recognizes any employer that has an historic and ongoing commitment to pursuing and executing workplace equality for LGBT employees in their own workplace. This employer has a history of continually raising the bar of workplace equality for others to follow. Organizations and coworkers may propose nominations by visiting the Out & Equal website and visiting the “Outie Awards” section of the site. “Historically, the Outies have recognized many innovative and noteworthy businesses and people within some of the most successful and envied corporations in the world,” said Selisse Berry, executive director of Out & Equal. “But the awards are open to any type of workplace environment--education, public service, small business--and we certainly encourage anyone who is proud of their workplace to participate in the nominations. Just be ready to face some stiff competition!” A panel of judges consisting of workplace equality activists across many industries will review the nominations and select the finalists. The winners will be announced during a gala dinner event presented on Friday, September 28, 2007 at the Washington Hilton during Out & Equal’s 2007 Workplace Summit in Washington, D.C. Comedian Kate Clinton is scheduled to host the event, which attracts a veritable who’s who of LGBT activists, corporate executives and celebrities. The Workplace Summit, held September 27-29, is the premier conference on lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) workplace equality, providing a unique opportunity to build alliances that foster safe and equitable work environments for everyone. An expected 2,000 LGBT employees, straight allies, and human resource and diversity professionals will convene to share best practices on workplace equality and essential education, information, and resources to address current workplace issues that affect the LGBT community. The threeday event offers internationally known keynote speakers, pre-Summit Seminars, and featured speakers and panels that collectively address the most relevant LGBT topics and issues in the workplace today. Over 2,000 people are expected to attend.

The couple met in 2004 during the Campaign and still believe that Amendment 3 GOES TOO FAR! Melissa Larsen, Political She-Devil, and Lauren Littlefield, Political Maven, will be “married” on May 26, 2007. The Don’t Amend Dude, Mike V. Thompson, will perform the ceremony at the McCune Mansion in Salt Lake City. Ms. Larsen, 32, is the executive director of Planned Parenthood Action Council in Salt Lake City. She graduated with her M.S.W. from the University of Utah. She is the daughter of Christina V. and Dann K. Larsen of Laguna Beach, California and “Big Tuna” who is waiting in that castle in the clouds. She is the sister of Camille Bird of Lincoln, Nebraska and Codie Leigh Larsen of Aliso Viejo, California. The She-Devil’s two “previous marriages” ended in “divorce.” Ms. Littlefield, 23, is a soon to be ex-student at the University of Utah and Ms. Larsen’s sugarbaby. She plans to pursue a career in Gender Studies and Political Science, whatever that means. She is the daughter of Kathy J. and Paul R. Littlefield of Salt Lake City, Utah and the sister of Kellie Littlefield of Salt Lake City, Utah. The Maven will keep her name.

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Opinion

From the Editor Flying Rumors by Michael Aaron michael@qsaltlake.com

Well, we’ve survived another deep-freeze season in the state and we’re now whisking through Spring. My crocuses, tulips and daffodils have bloomed and faded already. The bearded irises are in full bloom and the poppies are still waking up. We spent the warmest afternoon out on the deck and filled an entire trash can with ... trash. We swept and hosed and put out fresh umbrellas. We’re ready! Where did the 70+ degree weather go? All this and the fact that rumors are rampant mean that Pride season is rapidly approaching. Ah, yes. The rumors. But then, all those I’ve recently heard seem to be the same rumors from last year. And the year before that. And... well, you get the picture. So far, my favorite rumors were of what groups would be performing at Utah Pride this year — everyone from diva-turned-born-again-Christian Gloria Gaynor to the Village People. The truth: Sheena Easton and EnVogue. And throw in John Amaechi as Grand Marshal. If this is new info to you, please go out and find last issue’s QSaltLake where we did a whole story on it. The other rumor is that the Pride Festival — you know, the party out by the City-County Building with shirtless boys, music on stage, booths peddling t-shirts and everything rainbow — will be three days long. Truth: Yup. The Pride Festival begins Friday night at 6:00 p.m. and runs through Sunday night at 6:00 p.m. For those small organizations who want a booth — you better triple your volunteer base. You’re gonna be there a long time. Load up on sunscreen. (Knock on wood. I’d hate to see a repeat of a few years ago when the temperature reached

a balmy 50 degrees and the drizzle lasted almost throughout the day.) A larger rumor of why Utah Pride is expanding to three days: this is the last hoorah of the Center and if it fails, the Center will close. This goes along with the rumor that the Center is being forced out of their space. Truth: well, I’m not privy to the current financial status of the Center, but we seriously have heard this for so many years I have to be sceptical. And about the building: the Center has been keeping their eyes open for a new location for quite a while now. As their rent has increased with the market, so has their desire to find a more accessible, more central location. Let’s see ... more rumors. Oh yeah — Utah Pride will be vastly more expensive this year. Truth: If you want to attend Pride as you always have, that being showing up after the parade on Sunday and spending the day, Pride is still just $5. It is true you have many more entertainment options this year, each of which have a price tag. But then, how many of you donate to Utah Pride so that we can all go to every event for free? I guess not enough of us. Damned entertainers wanting money to perform for us, anyway. Don’t they know they’ll receive their rewards in heaven? Oh and I like this one too. Utah Pride Festival Director Terry Mitchell Nani is making $55,000 for the three months he is working to put Pride together. While I think that may be a reasonable fee to pay for the amount of work it takes to make Pride work ... please. I’ll bet $55,000 is the budget for all of Pride. Can you imagine the furor that would happen if the Center released an annual report showing a $55,000 expenditure on one person’s salary for 3 months? Bytheway, the UtahPride.org Web site has gone live. Take a look. If you’ve heard any more rumors, please send them along. I love gossip! I’ll try to dig beneath and find the gems of truth and debunk the rest. Let’s see ... next month is Coronation. The rumors are flying abouit that this year too! Stay tuned. Q

Letters Don’t Dis Denver Editor, I read with interest a recent article in your publication by Ryan Shattuck. I moved to SLC from shortly after 9/11 from Denver due to circumstances related to that event. I’d lived in Denver for 17 years prior to my move. Although I no longer live there, I still visit friends once or twice a year and was saddened by Ryans’ trashing in this article. In the first place, why was he staying “south of Denver”? That would be like someone visiting here and staying in Sandy. Give me a break. With regards to his being “accosted,” perhaps he’s not aware, but such attacks happen right here in good old SLC as well. In fact I can easily remember two separate occasions when I was verbally attacked right in front of that great bastion of learning and enlightenment, the downtown city library. Although gay SLC may have over 600,000 more results when Googled on the net, quantity does not equate with quality. Did he bother to look up “Theatre on Broadway”? It is a live stage theatre presenting gay-themed productions 52 weeks out of the year. Did he research openly gay-friendly restaurants such as Dixons, Racines, or Goodfriends? Was he aware that there is a park — Cheeseman Park — right in the center of the gay neighborhood called The Hill, where gays openly congregate to skateboard, play volleyball, sun and otherwise relax and spend time All this, not to mention bookstores, coffee shops, and a grocery store dubbed “Queens Super” due to its’ gay friendliness. True, Denver isn’t Oz. It has it’s wicked stepsister Colorado Springs to its south where “Focus on the Family” and other such negative groups operate, not to mention the infamous Proposition 2 from several years ago. Whereas SLC has 9th and 9th, Denver has several neighborhoods easily identified as gayfriendly as well as the usual bars, clubs and baths, other major cities enjoy. In summation, perhaps Ryan might want to do a little more research before his next trek. This extra effort might provide him: a) with a more enjoyable experience, and b) more credibility as a journalist. John O. Salt Lake City

The Horror Editor, I read your cover story in the last issue of the Cyber Slut Bingo D.I. Chicken beinng held for ransom. Such a tragedy. But why has this horrific event not been exposed in the mainstream media as well? Why is it being ignored? We had to suffer through nine months of coverage of a seemingly-heterosexual blond rich girl recently, but not even one story of the chicken? Is it a gay thing? A ceramic thing? The mainstream media should be ashamed of themselves for ignoring a story of such magnitude to our community. I pray for the chicken’s safe return and I’ll stay tuned to the only news medium in the valley that gives a damn:

QSaltLake. Please keep up the good fight. Wilma Holehurt Magna

Consider Visual Arts Editor, I have hopes Tony Hobday might consider including more than performing arts and the occasional fund raiser in The Gay Agenda. I find it hard to believe the GLBTQ community only cares about the performing arts . . . such that 80 percent of events listed in The Gay Agenda fit that category. How about the huge variety of non-profit visual art organizations?

In Salt Lake City: Art Access: accessart.org Artspace: artspaceutah.org Finch Lane/Park Galleries: slcgov.com/ arts/pages/vizarts.htm galleryUAF: uaf.org/galleryuaf.htm Museum of Utah Art & History: muahnet. org The Pickle Company: thepicklecompany. org Rio Gallery: arts.utah.gov Salt Lake Art Center: slartcenter.org Salt Lake Gallery Stroll: gallerystroll.org Utah Museum of Fine Arts: umfa.utah. edu Beyond Salt Lake City: Alpine Art Center: alpineartcenter.com Bountiful Davis Art Center: bdac.org Braithwaite Fine Arts Gallery: suu.edupva/artgallery Eccles Community Art Center: ogden4arts.org Kimball Art Center: kimball-art.org Mary Eliazbeth Dee Shaw Gallery: dova.weber.edu Nora Eccles Harrison Museum of Art: usu.edu/artmuseum And more! Of course, there are numerous commercial art galleries, too. And beyond the performing arts and visual art, numerous organizations in Utah — including GLBTQ-friendly and exclusively GLBTQ organizations - sponsor events. Jay Heuman Ogden

Policy Unenforceable Editor, Recent advertisements for the Utah Pride Center Inc. “Frozen” Queer Prom on April 21 described a “zero tolerance policy for ... weapons” at the event. The policy is, however, wrong and unenforceable. State laws protect the rights of people who are 18 years of age and older, and choose to own and possess concealed and unconcealed legal weapons to do so at the event. Those people who plan to do so shouldn’t believe that the policy is correct or will prevent them from attending. In fact, law-enforcement officers are prohibited from enforcing the policy. Organizers should continue to work for a safe and inclusive event without punishing their law-abiding patrons. I look forward to center staffers correcting this mistake as publicly as it was made. David Nelson Salt Lake City

QSaltLake welcomes letters from our readers. Please email letters@ qsaltlake.com. Letters should be less than 300 words and may, if published, be edited for length, libel or appropriateness.

Guest Editorial Youth At Risk by Valerie Larabee

“In Bountiful, Utah, we value, stand up for and celebrate the innateness of biological gender and the decency and tradition of heterosexual relationships.� “Alternative lifestyles do not promote the welfare of children and youth because they teach nontraditional roles, devalue the unique differences of gender and destabilize the basic social unit of society, the family.� “Alternative lifestyles do not protect children; they abandon children by exploiting and glamorizing selfishness.� “Alternate lifestyles cannot foster intelligent cooperation of any sort between any groups interested in the education of children and youth because they are not scientifically sound. Biologically, the human race cannot self perpetuate by teaching alternative lifestyles.� If these statements bother you, read on. Just over a week ago, The Utah Pride Center staff received a call for help from a student at Bountiful High School. While innocently surfing his school Web site, the student made a very disturbing

Queer Gnosis Cosmogenesis Part 1 By Troy Williams troy@qsaltlake.com

Troy WILLIAMS: We’ve got about 14 billion years to cover and only and hour to do it. I want to talk about cosmogenesis — I want to explore conscious evolution and the social potential movement — but before we get into that, let’s talk about your story. Take us through your own emergence as a futurist. Barbara MARX HUBBARD: Well, I am a 77year-old elder from the future. I was born in 1929, and the key event that turned me into a futurist was when the United States dropped the atomic bomb on Japan in 1945. I was 15 years old. I was infused with the American Dream that power was

tion, organizations and officials who will work for safer schools in Utah. Help ensure that Utah school administrators, teachers, counselors and all those with ready access to students (like the PTSA) are creating a school climate where all youth are nurtured, safe and free from hate and judgment. To research legislation and other safe school initiatives visit Equality Utah (equalityutah.org), the Gay, Lesbian, Straight Education Network (glsen.org) and Teaching Tolerance (teachingtolerance.org). Second, support the work of the Utah Pride Center’s Youth Activity Program serving Utah youth ages 13–20. The staff and youth leaders at the Utah Pride Center work each day to provide resources, referrals, advocacy and support for LGBTQ youth, their friends and their families. LGBTQ cultural competence training is available for those organizations and professionals who work with youth. For more information visit ­utahpridecenter.org. Third, become a member of your local PFLAG chapter and join their efforts to help educate the broader Utah community and advocate for our LGBTQ youth. For more information visit pflag.org. Words mean more than what is set down on paper. It takes the human voice to infuse them with deeper meaningâ€? —Maya Angelou

good and that we were good. And it suddenly occurred to me that if we continued to use power like this, we could destroy everything. So I asked a great question, “What is the meaning of our new powers, that is good? Where are we going as a civilization?� And I found that nothing was written down. The power was so new that we didn’t know. So I became obsessed with a question. My husband, who I met in Paris, said he was “an artist seeking a new image of man, commensurate with our power to shape the future.� My desire is always to understand how humanity can do this. I founded the Committee for the Future to bring positive options into the future. In 1984 I ran for vice-president to bring into the political arena the projects, initiatives and ideas now working to heal and evolve our world. I was the other woman whose name was placed in nomination along with Geraldine Ferraro. I didn’t know what to do, Troy. It was too big, too much, too fast — and the current of politics changed the other way. So, I began to work on the individual path of the co-creator. How do we begin to evolve as human individuals within a planet undergoing a crisis of devolution or evolution?

evolution of human consciousness, our species is awakening to the realization that we are the product of 14 billion years. In our atoms, genes and cells is the story of creation come alive. And we are at a stage of taking another quantum jump, as from pre-life to life, or animal to human. The difference is that we are taking this jump consciously, or we are going to selfdestruct. Because the power, atomic and now nuclear, biotech and nanotech, is so great that if we don’t know how to use the power constructively, creatively and ethically, we can see that it will destroy our environment and ourselves.

TW: Can you describe what you call “cosmogenesis�? BMH: Cosmogenesis is really the genesis of the cosmos — as the word says. The mystery is that it began before time and space, from a field of all possibilities, from the mind of god, from the Mystery, from the infinite intelligence of Universe. Out came the Big Bang about 14 billion years ago, and it began to create matter and animal life and human life. From my understanding, the intelligence that is creating all of this is not an external deity nor is it just accident, but it is an imminent creativity that is the very subtext of physics itself to make more life and more consciousness. After Neanderthal, suddenly comes Homo Sapiens with self-reflective consciousness. We begin to awaken to the fact that we are part of something greater than ourselves. And recently through science, technology and democracy, and an

Valerie Larabee is the executive director of the Utah Pride Center, utahpridecenter.org.

TW: When you say “quantum transformation,� can you give us some examples? BMH: Yes. A quantum transformation is a jump from one phase to another, which would not be predictable from the phase before. For example, in the seas of early earth you had molecules that became more and more complex. At some point there was a quantum jump to life — to the first self-replicating cells. That’s a quantum jump. Then if you imagine those single cells in the seas of earth, they are dividing to reproduce. They are very successful, but at some point there is a mutation and photosynthesis comes in and then multi-cellular life. That’s a huge jump from single cells. The next big quantum jump is a little creature they call Australopithecus africanus about six or seven million years ago.

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TW: Lucy. BMH: The origin of the potential of human life began, and I think we are the midst of the next quantum jump, and that would be to a new species capable of co-evolving with nature and co-creating with the great mind of the cosmos. Homo universalis. In part 2 we’ll discuss the emergence of the Universal Human, “suprasex� and the contribution of queers to the next stage of human evolution. Barbara Marx Hubbard is at barbaramarxhubbard.com. To stream the entire interview visit RadioActive at krcl.org. RadioActive airs live weekdays at noon on KRCL 90.9 FM.

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Big questions: Where do queers fit into the epic history of human evolution? What role do we play in society and culture? How do we contribute to the collective destiny of humankind? If queers are not procreating (though some of us have and are), what is the purpose of our lives on planet Earth? Welcome to my brain. These are the kind of questions that keep me single. I’ve been obsessed lately with futurists. Those activist visionaries who are pragmatically exploring how we build a positive, healthy future for our society, despite the fact that many aspects of our culture are in rapid decline. I’ve been devouring the works of Riane Eisler, David Korten, Daniel Pinchbeck, Grant Morrison and most recently, Barbara Marx Hubbard. She is a futurist, social architect and spiritual pioneer. She is president of The Foundation for Conscious Evolution, and the author of Conscious Evolution: Awakening the Power of our Social Potential. We spoke on KRCL’s RadioActive. This is part one of our conversation.

discovery. There, hidden beneath a link to the school’s Parent Teacher Student Association Web site, was a letter sent to the National Parent Teacher Association by the Bountiful PTSA Board. The letter, filled with anti-gay rhetoric including what you see above, was a response to a scholarship advertisement placed by Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) in the Feb./Mar. 2007 issue of the National PTA magazine, Our Children. The Bountiful PTSA board, which seemingly represents all who call Bountiful home, takes the position that the PFLAG advertisement promotes and legitimizes “alternative lifestyles� to students and children, and is not compatible with the values of the PTA. If this bothers you, read on. Just weeks ago Governor Jon Huntsman signed into law new legislation fueling school administrators with just enough gas to keep the fires burning under the ongoing effort to remove Gay Straight Alliances from Utah schools. Despite the passionate and courageous voices of many lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer and straight youth speaking in support of GSA’s, Governor Huntsman placed his trust in the ability of local school administrators, surrounded by the forces of their local communities including parents, to determine “socially appropriate behavior� and ultimately what is best for youth in their schools. If this bothers you, what can you do? First, take action. Help support legisla-

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Load of Bullshattuck Masochism Shouldn’t Hurt BY RYAN SHATTUCK RYAN@QSALTLAKE.COM

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Not many people know this, but the Utah gay rights movement is one of the very few organisms in existence that has three eyes. Consider the fact that despite having both eyes blackened by the former lover that is the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, there’s always that third eye. For some reason, there’s a tendency here in Utah for some gay people to continue to label themselves according to their relationship with the LDS church. Here in Utah, you are one of several labels. You are Mormon. You are non-Mormon. You are a former Mormon. You are an inactive Mormon. You are a lapsed Mormon. You are a jack Mormon. You are a spouse-of-aMormon. You are a step-Mormon, once removed. Or you are assumed to be Mormon; in other words, you play for the Jazz. How we label ourselves is, whether directly or indirectly, how we perceive ourselves with respect to the LDS church. It’s impossible to escape. The whole state of Utah is one giant meeting of AA, and the LDS church is our sponsor. Think you’re going to sneak that beer? Not while your AA sponsor is at your door. Think you’re going to sever your ties with the LDS church? Not while the Mormon missionaries are at your door. In both cases, it’s best to show up at the door drunk. Why can so few of us here in Utah let go of the LDS church? Why do we continue to hold on to the “there are only two kinds of people in the world: people who like Kurt Bestor and people who don’t” mentality? Why are we with them, or against them? We still allow the LDS church to manipulate us, whether subconsciously or consciously. Many of us still allow the LDS church to paint the entire state of Utah as either black or white. Is everything in Utah really only black or white? Is there no room for any other shades? Or Barack Obama? I specifically bring this up because of a number of recent events, such as the Soulforce Equality Riders demonstration at BYU a few weeks ago. Soulforce travels across the United States and demonstrates at conservative and Christian universities, countering what Soulforce calls the “homophobic” policies of said universities. While I truly feel that the intentions of Soulforce are noble, I can’t help but wonder if they realize that convincing a radical conservative Christian university to ‘stop being mean to us’ is like trying to knock Al Roker pre-2002 out with a feather. I certainly don’t feel that difficult challenges should be avoided; simply consider the winner of such mismatches as David vs. Goliath or Benny Hill vs. Every Feminist Who’s Ever Existed. Rather, I disagree with the actions of Soulforce, because I disagree with their targets and with the methods they’ve employed in attempting to invoke change. For many of these universities, the denial of homosexual students’ rights is only one of tens, if not hundreds of other issues that many of us likely do not agree with. For Bob Jones University or Central Bible College to change their policy on gay students, these schools would need to transform at their most elemental core. Twenty Soulforce students aren’t

going to cause school administrators to fundamentally turn their school upsidedown anymore than Lindsay Lohan will be caught doing a sudoku puzzle. I actually read that, as part of the Equality Ride, Soulforce was also planning on visiting the LDS church’s Welfare Square Cannery. Why are they visiting the Welfare Square Cannery? Was Soulforce going to demonstrate to the LDS church that gay men know a little something about canned peaches? I always assumed that was a given. Other recent events that highlight this idea are recent theatrical productions here in Salt Lake City. Due to the generosity of QSaltLake, I had an opportunity to see last month’s production of The Alienation Effekt. I also had a chance to see Facing East last fall, which will be returning this month. Both shows deal with such fun-filled issues as depression, suicide and the alienation that homosexuality can cause within a Mormon community. While both shows deal with heavy and important issues, it appeared, at least to me, that both shows reduced the homosexual Mormon to not much more than a confused, helpless victim, and that both shows were only three steps away from a queer after-school special. I’m actually hoping that Lex de Azevedo will write a third script this summer, thus completing the Gay Tragic Mormon Trilogy. What is the average heterosexual LDS community member to infer about the Utah gay community from such demonstrations by Soulforce and such theatrical productions as Facing East? Perhaps that gay men and women in Utah are helpless? Perhaps that gay men and women are on the outside, wishing to be like everyone else? Perhaps that we’ll ask you nicely if you’ll change your religious institution to accept us, so that we may take a seat in the back? Perhaps that all we really want to do is to go can some peaches? If Soulforce — or anyone else for that matter — wishes to change BYU, they need to realize that the change must come from the LDS church. And if the LDS church is to change, it must come from within. Telling them that if we don’t get our way, we’re going to sulk in the corner and write poetry while drinking a glass of strawberry milk, doesn’t have much of an effect. On the other hand, though, being too confrontational and appearing to be so sexual that we think that Don Knotts is a chapter in the Kama Sutra doesn’t help the Utah gay rights movement, either. After all is said and done, though, should attempting to change BYU or the LDS church even be our goal? Why do we continue to fight a religious institution that doesn’t love us back; do we not have more self-respect than that? As far as the LDS church is concerned, we’re calling them drunk in the middle of the night, and pleading for them to take us back. We can try to change BYU and try to change the LDS church and still consider ourselves some variation of Mormon, but maybe it’s time to let go and actually move on. It’s all right to move on, admit that outcomes may be different, and find an alternative. It’s all right to admit that not all gay politics are good politics. It’s all right to admit that not all gay politicians are good politicians. It’s all right to admit that not all gay issues are good issues. And it’s all right to let go of that former lover that is the LDS church, to avoid another black eye. After all, we only have three. Q Ryan Shattuck is a freelance writer, University of Utah student, and has a basement full of canned goods.

Ruth Hackford-Peer Three Things I Hate about Spring by Ruth Hackford-Peer ruth@qsaltlake.com

I have endured 33 cold miserable winters in my lifetime. Three in Colorado, five in Massachusetts, one in Minnesota and 24 in Utah. It must be self-hate that keeps me from moving to Arizona or Florida. I dread winter. I hate the cold, despise the inversion and feel lost without sunshine. I’m the kind of person who refuses to ski, sled, snowshoe, make snowmen, snow angels and quinzee huts, or otherwise be caught dead outside because I don’t want to give anyone the wrong impression. Someone might actually think I’m tolerating winter or, heaven forbid, enjoying it. Instead, I hole up at home, eat myself a new layer of warmth and mark time. My favorite part of winter, no matter where I have lived, is the dawning of spring. Spring has sprung. But even for winter-haters like me, the end of the dark season is not all good. I have noticed the past few weeks that there are three nasty side effects to spring. First of all, autopilot doesn’t work anymore; there are actually choices that have to be thought through. During winter it’s much easier: Daily choices typically involve a decision between staying home (warm) and leaving home (frozen tundra). Suddenly, the decision is easier to make. But spring brings with it complicated choices. Just last week I had to choose between March Madness with its basketball beauties and a nice kite-flying family evening at the park. Candace Parker and Matee Ajavon won, but it was a toss-up. Then there’s the neighborhood keeping up with the Joneses shit. Folks playing the “my yard looks better than your yard” game complete with tulips, green(er) grass and weedless walkways. You wouldn’t know it by looking, but we don’t like weeds in our household, either. You wouldn’t know it because instead of using harsh chemicals like Round Up, we kill the weeds our own — more environmentally sustainable, but less effective — way. Looking next door and seeing the lesbians with turkey basters keeps the Joneses thinking. They probably believe the baster’s job of squirting vinegar juices at weeds is its new responsibility now that that the family is complete. All kidding aside, we learned years ago that a baster just wasn’t going to cut it where artificial insemination is concerned. Whoever made up that joke clearly hadn’t gone through the mechanics. Let’s just say supply is limited — forget baster, we’re talking pipette. In any case, we believe that weedkilling is a perfect family event. We’ve discovered it can also be educational. Last weekend, we taught Riley about pes-

ticides and organic gardening. Kim used an analogy and then taught Riley what an analogy is. During the conversation, he gave absolutely no indication that he understood the concept or was even paying attention; he just kept on basting weeds. Twenty minutes later, the little activist made me, his other mother and Miller himself proud with the following analogy: Weeds are to grass like George Bush is to people. Let’s just say, concept understood and analysis accurate. The final downfall to spring is that everybody wants a little slice. Sharing fresh air can get complicated, because smokers like spring as much as the rest of us. They too think they can come out of the hole they’ve been in all winter. My feelings toward smoking are similar to the Mormon stance on homosexuality: Love the smoker, but not their smoke. And I do love smokers (how can I be smoke-a-phobic? “Some of my best friends smoke.”) I easily could be a smoker myself. In fact, I used to smoke. I know as a young person I didn’t want to be mistaken as a Molly Mo — and there’s nothing like a cigarette in one’s hand to illustrate that you’re not. Before my social smoking habit turned to addiction, my grandfather died of lung cancer. I did a cost/benefit analysis that ended in cold turkey. Smoking hurts the queer community. The connection is especially clear in Utah. Non-Mormon young people often feel so invisible in this culture that they take up smoking as part of an identity as a nonMormon. Meanwhile, tobacco companies such as RJ Reynolds and Philip Morris donate large profits to the Republican Party resulting in right wing nut-jobs being elected to public office. Do liberalleaning queer smokers know that in the 2004 election cycle, the tobacco industry gave 2.2 million dollars to the GOP? These elected nut-jobs then create legislation that further strips queer folks of legal protections. Queer folks then negotiate the world as second-class citizens, many of whom deal with the stress of this marginalization with their nicotine addiction. Smokers get lung cancer and die young while the next generation of non-Mormon, queer or otherwise marginalized youth start smoking. It’s tragic, really. I understand that smokers are victims of a marketing scheme designed to kill them off. I also realize that smokers are a marginalized group, especially here in Utah. I understand that smoking is an addiction, and that many smokers wish to quit and are unsuccessful. I get all that. But I also think smoke stinks. It makes my son wheeze and gets caught in my clothing. Besides, I already have fluorescent children with limited pigment and the threat of skin cancer to deal with. I don’t feel like I’m asking too much. I just wish after a long day of spring weedbasting and kite-flying that I could go buy the boys ice cream or grab an iced coffee and sit on a patio enjoying the sunshine without having a smoker sit right next to me and light up. Q

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Non-Mormon young people often feel so invisible in this culture that they take up smoking as part of an identity as a non-Mormon.

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Lambda Lore Mormon Road Shows by Ben Williams

ben@qsaltlake.com

Once more it’s April in the Land of Zion. April is my birth month; it’s also April Conference for the LDS church. So let me bear my testes that I know that David O. McKay is a prophet of God. And how do I have such a sure knowledge, ye of little faith may ask? Well, on April 9, 1951, the Salt Lake Tribune wrote, “Mormon Apostle David O. McKay ‘Sounds Battle Cry Against Vice.’” Here, McKay in a fiery exhortation described how the corruption of Salt Lake City will be by the actions of a handful of individuals. Well, how did he know that little old gay radical moi would be born the very next day, except by the spirit of revelation? A long time ago in this mystical land of Zion, I do believe things were, as the

regional vernacular quaintly puts it, “funner.” Before the ongoing Thirty Years Homosexual War began (curiously about the same time that the 150 Years Curse of Cain War ended), this state was an all-singing, all-dancing, all-acting, gay-as-a-goose paradise. Don’t believe me, do you? Well, in the 1930s, Mormon leaders decreed that church members needed to be perkier, so a “new emphasis” on “music, dance, and the performing arts” was proclaimed throughout the land. They even published a recreational song book, which made it sociably acceptable to break out in song. Singing became very popular. Church leaders, those kindly, but crafty old sons of the pioneers, even sponsored locally created ten-minute musical programs that were presented in successive wards in each Mormon stake. These shows were literally taken on the “road,” and thereby forever known as “road shows.” These kooky, fun-loving old coots from church headquarters also sent out to all the youthful Mutual Improvement Associations instructions in music and dance. It was truly a Judy Garland and Mickey Rooney moment in church history.

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As the frolicking church members took to their dancing orders from headquarters with gusto, many participated in an annual June conference dance festival: “a spectacle of choreography.” Although not quite Kevin Bacon’s Foot Loose, up to 2,000 participating saints could be seen gavotting each year in the streets of Salt Lake City. Locally, weekly Saturday night dances were put on by Mormon wards and stakes, but not to worry: Church leaders made sure the dances ended before midnight when the Holy Ghost goes to bed. Gold and Green Balls (not the venereal disease one might suspect, but a formal dance named for the MIA colors) came into vogue as social dancing was promoted throughout Mormon wards and stake houses. These balls were held every year to commemorate something. Nobody but the girls and gay guys on the planning committee knew exactly what they were for, but still they had them every year. You were supposed to dress up. Kind of like Queer Prom. In Utah, the state’s Capitol Rotunda was rented throughout the year to accommodate the hundreds of churchsponsored dances and especially for the more formal Gold and Green Balls (Warning! Literary device: foreshadowing). If you were a young lesbian, err woman, in 1950, you would go to Mutual every week and mark your progress from “Beehives to Junior Gleaners” by attaching felt seals to your bright blue sash. If you enjoyed playing basketball, you were excited about the girls’ basketball teams on which you got to play as long as you had a female coach and followed girls’ rules. It was an exciting time to be in Mutual. If you were a young (gay) man, it was an exciting time because every year you got to be in your ward’s road show with other young men and it was okay to accessorize and play dress-up. It was all in clean, healthy church-sponsored fun. The Mormon Church’s sponsorship of the dramatic arts created a thespianfriendly atmosphere where amateur activity flourished in ward and stake houses everywhere. What respectable Mormon ward did not have a stage? The Mutual Improvement Association held playwriting contests over three decades in which more than 40,000 people participated. Who knew there were so many gay men in the church? In 1960, hundreds of Mormon stakes sponsored and produced a musical pageant called “Promised Valley” to celebrate the 1847 trek of the Mormon pioneers across the plains into the Salt Lake Valley. In 1972 the LDS church restored the old Lyric Theatre on State Street and renamed it Promised Valley Playhouse. For a number of years it was the stage for the Mormon miracle musical Promised Valley. The theater was closed in 1996 rumored to have fallen victim to The Thirty Years Homosexual War once Boyd K. Packer discovered

that gay men and old ladies where the only ones in attendance. But back in 1969, while the spirit of Judy Garland was inspiring a revolution in New York City, all was still well in Zion as an elaborate June Conference turned Salt Lake City into a gigantic musical set. An early morning reception on Temple Square was followed by fabulous banquets, festive dance festivals, marvelous musicals, dramatic readings, road show presentations, camp training in the nearby mountains (neither camp or campy), athletic (read lesbian) seminars, and testimony meetings. Alas, it was all simply too fabulous to last! Enter Elder Harold B. Lee, the Dark Lord of Correlation. In 1973, then-Mormon Church President Lee introduced a correlation program designed to integrate all church programs under the watchful and controlling eye of the priesthood (I had just moved to Utah, and perhaps they were simply circling the wagons.) Every church activity now was centrally directed by “the book” from corporate headquarters. For the new masters of Temple Square, it was so much cleaner and tidier then messy inspiration. The new Temple Square regime subordinated all former Mormon activities to the quest for spiritual conformity and temple building. The June Conferences and their hoedowns were axed under the aegis of church correlation. Thus, all this golden (and green) era of gaiety and hijinx came to a screeching halt. The new old coots in the new Big Building were having none of it. Good God, even the blue slash Bandelos of YWMIA were discontinued in the quest for correlation. Just as well, because girls could no longer earn a “Feel Joy” badge by rehearsing and participating in an “MIA road show, floor show, drama, or music festival.” It was all now just a beautiful dream sequence. The final crushing blow came to the performing arts when the Gold and Green Balls in 1977 where swept away by the Lieutenant Governor’s ban of dancing in the state’s rotunda (All accept the Republican happy dance jig done every February.) Why oh why, you might ask. (Drum roll) The Thirty Years Homosexual War had begun. It all began innocently enough when returned Mormon missionary Robert Waldrop, as pastor of the Metropolitan Community Church, requested permission from then-Lieutenant Governor David Monson to hold a church dance in the rotunda. Monson’s office routinely granted permission then later turned apoplectic purple, immediately rescinding the go-ahead after an “anonymous” Deep Throat-type phone call identified the Metropolitan Community Church of Salt Lake as a (hold breath, then gasp) a Homosexual Organization! Q

If you were a young (gay) man, it was an exciting time because every year you got to be in your ward’s road show with other young men and it was okay to accessorize and play dress-up.

To be continueD

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In Search Of... Winners and Losers by Chad Keller and Mark Thrash insearchof@qsaltlake.com

Amongst the many names used to describe us, resourceful is definitely at the top of the list. So, we called on our connections to bring you a behind the scenes look at the results of the Golden Spike Award nominations recently held on April 7. Much to the chagrin of our editors, this meant that our installment had to be delayed a week beyond the deadline. See the painstaking lengths

a

we’ll endure to bring you timely banter? Let this be your prelude to the final nominees for the 28th Annual GSAs. MARK: In the last issue I refrained from voicing my opinions on nominees for the GSAs. As one of the co-hosts, I felt it would be inappropriate. Now that the nominations are final and voting is only days away, I figure it is safe to allow my loose lips to run wild. First, a bit of background information might be helpful. The top five nominees in each of the categories will make it to the final ballot and be eligible for voting on Saturday, April 14. Although many others were recognized as favorites by the community, only a select few will be eligible for each award. So, let’s take a moment to pay homage to all those nominated in some of our favorite categories.

CHAD: The GSAs should come with its own “Gay-to-English” dictionary. Many people outside our little world find this confusing. Look at a past winner: Randy Bodle’s Red Jumpsuit for Tackiest Outfit of the Year or how “bitch” can be a term of endearment until you’re nominated. To my fellow nominees for that coveted and sacred award, (Sheneka, Dig, Parker and Michelle from Hell), may you sharpen your tongues and come out fighting. There are only four corners to the ring, so one of you will go down before we get to the bar on April 29. There is a reason The Trapp has a “Bitch Parking Only” sign at the front bar, and it isn’t for any of you. While I’m on a roll, let’s look at Tackiest Outfit. Instead of one outfit, it seems that this year it is based on entire wardrobes.

celebration for everyone Utah Pride Festival 2007

1-3 June

Washington & Library Squares

Utah Pride is the largest Queer event in Utah, with over 20,000 people per day in downtown Salt Lake City celebrating what it means to be gay, lesbian, bisexual, Transgender or allied.

Pride Film Festival Grand Marshal Reception Pride Interfaith Service Dyke March Pride Dance Pride Parade

3 Pride Festival Days with entertainment by

Sheena Easton and En Vogue to get involved or find out more information about this year’s pride, visit

www.utahpride.org

From one nominee who lives his life to be tacky to a trio of queens who others believe are delusional in their choice of attire, the nominees this year include: Kamille, Nova, Krystyna, Rhett Barney and Jason Mann. If I was to place my bet on size alone, it would have to go to Krystyna. Talk to Kirstie Alley, because your ass sure ain’t J-Lo’s. MARK: Damn girl, you’ve signed your own death certificate with that comment, and if those drag nails are strong enough to withstand granite, “BITCH” will be etched on your tombstone. One of my favorite categories is Bartender of the Year. Top nominees this year include: Mougli (Paper Moon), Johnny “Disco” Harris (Trapp Door), Santos (Trapp), Jessie “Kitty” Daniels (Paper Moon) and Paul Sanchez (GOSSIP!). Here are some who were so close that I felt they deserved to be mentioned: Gary “Vanessa” Holstein (Trapp Door), Ducky (GOSSIP!) and that hottie George (Trapp Door). With so many noteworthy nominees, it will be a tight race. Maybe there will be cocktails flung, glasses shattered, lime juice squirted into eyes and salt rubbed into open wounds. The winner should be whoever is left standing. If so, Gary would win. The battle for Favorite Waiter/Waitress is less heated, but the girls are more popular than the boys. Nominees are Wanda (Trapp Door), Vanessa (Paper Moon), Ricki (Trapp), Sparky (Paper Moon) and Glen (Trapp). Unlike Chad, I’m not a glutton for punishment, and I definitely don’t want a tray of drinks mistakenly thrown down my backside. So, I will silently place my final vote. CHAD: Chicken shit! Are you afraid prohibition will start again or the well is going to run dry? It was bravery to call out a queen’s ass. But even I know it would be sheer stupidity to piss off members of a bar staff. They all deserve an award for the things they endure during the overabundance of drag shows. Of the Show of the Year nominees, I’ve praised “Rock Gods” in the past, but “Nova’s Platinum Pussy Review” provides quality entertainment that others aspire to attain. Although I’m sure “Night in the Magic Kingdom,” “Snowball” and “Miss Gay Latino Pageant” each hold a special place in their own community circle. Enough about make-up and high heels. I guess that is why they omitted Leather Man/Woman of the Year. After all, it’s just another form of drag. Onto Bear/ Cub of the Year, not to be confused with Yogi and BooBoo. I have no idea who really embodies the hairy beast within: Rusty, Brandon Burt, Jason Mann, Todd Markham or Alan Anderson. If I was voting for teddy bears, it would be Alan, but for hairy things that growl in the night, it’s Brandon. MARK: Speaking of men, good luck to my fellow nominees for Man of the Year. Now, let’s take a moment to focus on the females nominated for Woman of the Year: Vanessa Vaughn, Toni Fitzgerald, Babs DeLay, Mougli and Patti/Parker. With four popular women from Paper Moon, it might be a catfight at the south end of the city or they may just pile into the Moon’s Burly Pink Pick-up and attempt a drive-by at Babs while she sits high atop her new twin-towered sky rise on 200 South. Q CHAD: Doesn’t the Golden Spike Awards bring out the best in all of us?

Mountain Meadows Mascara Debate and Switch by Ruby Ridge ruby@qsaltlake.com

So, the date for the big Shawn Hannity and Mayor Rocky Anderson “debate” has been set for May 4 at the University of Utah. Big Whoop! Petals, I am so nauseated by this tawdry soap opera that I just want to hurl. The local print and broadcast media (and the various tentacles of the Fox networks) have been acting like this “debate” is the be-all and end-all referendum on the Iraq war, the Bush legacy, the “war” on terror, climate change and vouchers for fetuses whose mothers oppose intelligent design and gun rights. Enough already! The Hannity/Anderson sideshow is only entertainment, people! Opinions on either side are not going to be changed. Policies will not be changed. Our soldiers will not leave Iraq any earlier, and our democratic discourse will not be strengthened by

Apparently we are supposed to forgive Doug Wright for his role in the Republican propaganda machine because he likes “Finding Nemo”. Who knew?

Sean Hannity and Bill O’Reilly have padded hours of their radio and television programming mouthing off about Rocky Anderson, don’t you think Fox Broadcasting should be cutting him a royalty check, or at the very least sending him a fruit basket the size of Rhode Island? Ironically, even as I am writing this I am listening to KSL Radio, which claims to have insider information on the strategies and tricks that Hannity and Anderson will use on each other. Ooooh ... I can hardly wait! Well actually … yes, I can! Ciao, muffins! Q Ruby Ridge is one of the more opinionated members of the Utah Cyber Sluts, a camp drag group of performers who raise funds and support local charities. Her opinions are her own and fluctuate wildly. She leans so far to the left that her left ear gets road rash.

involved

get

Casting/Open Call

Seeking solo/duet, “coffee house” style performers for “The Coffee Grounds”

15-30 minute sets, to fill in all day Saturday and Sunday from 12 noon – 6:00PM. We are accepting promo packs until April 27th. In your promo pack please include a description of your style, the time/day you wish to perform, any current photos, if possible a demo CD or DVD, and a written statement of 100 words or less on why you hope to perform at Pride 2007. Mail Promo Packs ASAP To: Utah Pride Entertainment Committee c/o The Utah Pride Center 355 North 300 West Salt Lake City, Utah 84103

Note: Please do not call or e-mail. If you are selected we will contact you. All materials submitted become the property of Utah Pride/Utah Pride Center and will not be returned.

* QUEER IDOL *

You know the drill! It’s this simple. We’re going to replicate the internationally famous format and find this region’s QUEER IDOL!! Come to the only initial audition and bring your best showmanship, smile and terrific tune! We’ll be narrowing the pool every two weeks at different venues throughout SLC, and finally taking our three finalists to Utah Pride on Saturday, narrowing it down to two for Sunday, and finally naming “Queer Idol” to all in attendance that evening.

Top prize: $500 & a professional recording session. Auditions: Squatters Brew Pub, follow signs- April 21, 2007 10am Calling all volunteers! You take Pride in your job, in your friends and in your family. You take Pride in your appearance … NOW it’s time to take PRIDE in your community. We need your help, and in many ways. Visit www.utahpride.org and enlist your assistance to your community right away. You’ll meet new friends and have a great time sharing your Pride. Calling all EXHIBITORS/FOOD VENDORS .. we need good taste in exhibitors, and a variety of great, culinary treats that taste good too! “This year’s “Taste of Pride” food vendors area needs local caterers and restaurants to sell their faires. Visit www.utahpride.org for info regarding an opportunity to sell your tasty delights and valuable goods to, literally, thousands.

to get involved or find out more information about this year’s pride, visit

www.utahpride.org

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having two polar opposite caricatures engaging in bad theater. Nothing will change except the corporate bosses that own the media outlets will get a few snappy sound-bites, a bump in their ratings and another distraction that allows them to ignore the actual carnage and mismanagement of the Iraq War. So, stop hyping this thing as if it was based on reality, dammit! The way I see it, this staged event has all the authenticity of a professional wrestling match minus the visual appeal of oiled-up beefcake. I wouldn’t be surprised if Fox, in one of its crass pieces of corporate cross-promotion, doesn’t drag in Sanjaya Malakar from American Idol to be the “debate” moderator. Actually, kittens, someone had mentioned that KSL’s Doug Wright (talk radio host and movie critic) should be the moderator, because he is the closest thing to a non-partisan moderate we have in Utah. I just about swallowed my lip when I heard that! If you spend more than three minutes listening to his show on the Lord’s FM station, you learn two really annoying things: 1) He is obsessed with alliteration, and 2) Wright dumps more Republican talking points in 10 minutes than Carl Rove

at a Heritage Foundation fundraiser. I can only listen to his show in about five minute increments, otherwise my blood pressure rises, my jewelry gets stuck on my swollen fingers and eventually my head and wig explode. That threshold drops to about 25 seconds if Wright has Orrin Hatch on as a guest and he is in full-speed sycophantic groveling mode (like when Hatch accused the Democrats of playing partisan politics with President Bush’s judicial nominations — after all of the sleazy maneuvering he did during the Clinton presidency!). I don’t understand how Wright got the rap of being such a radio moderate, un-

less it’s because Hannity, O’Reilly, Savage, Limbaugh and so on have skewed the curve so far to the ideological right, that he looks like a centrist by comparison. Apparently, we are supposed to forgive Doug Wright for his role in the Republican propaganda machine because he likes Finding Nemo. Who knew? But I digress. Anyway, cherubs, I don’t understand why Mayor Rocky agreed to this gig in the first place. Has he ever watched Fox News or listened to Hannity’s syndicated smearfest? The only Democrats they book on his show are either so ideologically fringe they embarrass Dennis Kucinich, or they’re academic straw men whose logic, scientific method or manners get crushed by Hannity’s rudeness and volume. And considering how

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2. The Pie Pizzeria 3. Busy Bee

Best Romantic Restaurant

Log Haven

Nestled in the pines of Millcreek Canyon, this log cabin-style restaurant has been a romantic gesture for over 80 years, but only 30 years as a restaurant. See, romance never dies. The fire-grilled corn soup and and cornish hen “under a brick” is the only way to go. 2. Five Alls 3. Fresco’s

Most Faaabulous FOOD&DRINK Best Burgers

Crown Burgers

You voted them in and here they are. This year’s favorites as determined by our readers.

Most Faaabulous Restaurants Best Asian

Cafe Trang Twenty years ago, the Nguyens took over an old post office box location and opened Cafe Trang. It immediately began winning awards. Now, with four locations, it continues to rack them in. Trang sports one of the largest menus in the area with Vietnamese, Thai and Chinese cuisine. Always start with the fresh Vietnamese spring rolls. 2. Lemon Grass 3. La Caille Noodle House

Best Greek/ Mediterranean

Cafe Med

Doug Nassar and David Barker together own prob-

ably the favorite restaurant of any kind in the gay community — Cafe Med. The eclectic, cozy restaurant draws an eclectic, crazy crowd who clamor for the best Greek, Persian and Turkish cuisine. Save room for the Basboosa and some cardamom tea. 2. The Other Place 3. Mazza

Best Mexican

Red Iguana

A brightly-colored restaurant that serves brightlycolored food and has a line out the door nearly every night — that’s Red Iguana. It’s won awards from every publication that gives them, and for good reason. You haven’t tried mole until you’ve tried Red Iguana’s mole. Take several friends, order every mole on the menu and eat family style. Throw in some margaritas and call it a party. 2. Rio Grande Cafe 3. Blue Iguana

Best Italian

Caffè Molise Caffè Molise is handsdown my favorite restaurant in the valley, and apparently our readers’ favorite as well. Thirteen years of fabulous northern Italian food up against many Italian food restaurant chains is a tribute to the great food and ambiance of the restaurant. Try their brunch and Friday night jazz, not to mention the tiramisu. And I tripledog dare you to order the roasted garlic and sundried tomatoes. 2. Fresco’s 3. Michelangelo’s

Best Vegetarian

Sage’s Cafe

Ian Brandt is passionate about the environment, fair wages, and vegetarian cuisine. Sage’s Cafe is food with a heart and soul. You won’t find a microwave, a deep-fat fryer or heating lamps at Sage’s. You will find organically-grown foods, much of which is grown in Utah, fair-trade

shade-grown coffees and teas. If you want to give vegetarian or vegan or even raw cuisine a try, this is definitely the place to do it. The crew is creative with textures and tastes that will satisfy the most carnivorous of appetites. Don’t leave without trying the escargot-style roasted shiitake and the pumpkin soup. 2. Oasis Cafe 3. One World Cafe

Best Steak & SEAFOOD

Spencer’s for Steaks and Chops I didn’t know Spencer’s was a chain, albeit only a five-restaurant chain, until I started to write up this review. Spencer’s is by far the best place to get a steak in this town and our readers know it. The dark-wood ambiance, the 300-selection wine list, the fantastic sides and, of course, the best cuts of meat money can buy. 2. Market Street Grill 3. New Yorker

Best After Hours

Beto’s

In a category rife with chain restaurants, Beto’s stands out as a local afterbar favorite. Of course, you’ll have to eat in the car or back home, as only

the drive-thru is open after 2am. 2. Denny’s, Dees and Village Inn 3. Orbit Cafe

Best Formal Dining

Bambara Metropolitan

Our readers hit a stand-off for best formal restaurant, divided between Metropolitan’s delectable cuisine crafted from fresh, regional ingredients and Bambara’s fresh, seasonal foods that meld American regional influences and ingredients with Italian, French and Asian techniques. Both restaurants are located in the heart of downtown Salt Lake, prime for a fabulous night on the town. 2. New Yorker 3. Spencer’s for Steaks and Chops

Best Hole-in-the-wall

Little World Chinese Restaurant

This is the closest you’ll get to San Francisco’s Chinatown, with the chicken and duck hanging motionless and on display for purchase. Plus, the menu actually warns “eatif-you-dare” with dishes that may seem strange or unfamiliar.

It’s been nearly thirty years since Rula and John Katzourakis first took a flame-broiled burger and topped it with pastrami and opened a restaurant at 2nd South and 4th East called Crown Burger. Now there’s seven restaurants from Layton to Draper serving up enough cholesterol for the whole state. Oh, and don’t forget to order the fry sauce. 2. Training Table 3. Fuddruckers

Best Barbecue

Sugar House Barbeque Co

Specializing in the most tender Memphis-style barbecue ribs this side of ... well, Tennessee, Sugar House Barbeque Co. also dishes up some mean pulled pork, fruitwoodsmoked chicken and Bourbon Street jambalaya, complete with crawfish tails. Eat there or take a rack or three to a party. 2. Q4U 3. Pat’s BBQ

Best Sandwiches

Toaster’s

Just across from the Salt Palace and next to the old Equality Utah office, Toasters serves up some great sandwiches, but more importantly the owner/operators serve up some of the widest smiles of any coffee shop in the valley. Take the time and stop by for lunch and a smile. 2. Squatters 3. Groves Market

Best Pizza

The Pie Pizzeria Quick. Name two successful restaurants that you have to go down a long flight of stairs to get to. Well, I’ve had several minutes to think about it and I can’t think of a second. The Pie is a favorite of nearly everyone who’s been there. My grandmother called me once from the Pie’s pay phone and told me to get over there, she was having pizza with friends. I got there and she was at a table with four frat boys. And they were cute. And all five were several beers ahead of me. Where else can such a thing happen? 2. Nick-N-Willy’s 3. Stoneground

slice of Tamarack cheese and a chocolate mint. Oh, and the sandwiches are good, too. Try the Asian tuna wrap. 2. Soup Kitchen 3. Trofi

Best Sushi

Happy Sumo Happy Sumo make you love it long time. From its playboy roll -- Tempura shrimp, avocado and cucumbers topped with tuna shashimi, sumo sauce, eel sauce and tobiko to its death roll -- crab, gobo root, cucumber, radish, sprouts and death paste, Happy Sumo will make-y you leak-y. 2. Takashi 3. Koko Kitchen

Best Brunch

Best Salad

Market Street Grill

One of the best selections of salads in the valley, Red Rock serves up some mean cobb, bay shrimp and hearts of palm, and caesar salads. My favorites, however, are the more unexpected. A New York steak salad with gorgonzola on romaine, a honeydijon pork tenderloin over a spring mix lettuce sprinkled with craisins and candied walnuts, and one I’m going to try next time — the Chinese beef salad. Mmmm. 2. Paradise Bakery 3. The Dodo

They say if you want to know where the best Asian food is, go to where the Asian crowd is. Well, if you want to know where the best brunch is, go to where the gay people are. Market Street has been a gay favorite for brunch for decades. Inexpensive enough to go every week, good enough to wake up early for, and the best people-watching possibilities of any restaurant in the state. You’re practically on stage. And with the flair of a red-pepperdipped prawn in your bloody mary, what more could you ask for? 2. Grand America 3. Ruth’s Diner

Red Rock Brewing Company

Best Appetizers

Martine

Best Soup

Big City Soup Mmmmm ... good. Soup is good food. But I’m not talking Campbell’s. I’m talking cream of tomato with gorganzola, lobster and golden pepper bisque and happy jack’s chicken curry soup of Big City Soup. Served with a big hunk of foccachia bread, a

The Bakery

The Bakery, located on 250 E. 300 South, has awesome fruit tarts, which is probably why the gay community named it the most fabulous. But then again, the choclate croissants, cream puffs and ricotta cheesecake ain’t so bad either. 2. Cafe Trio 3. The Dodo

Best Wine Selection

Spencer’s For Steaks and Chops With over 400 selections, it’s no wonder the readers of QSaltLake chose Spencer’s. From a $7 glass of Beaulieu Vineyards petite shiraz to a $21 glass of Maryville Reserve to a $1150 bottle of Chateau Margaux, Spencer’s has the wine to compliment that huge piece of red meat of yours. 2. The Paris Bistro 3. Terigo

Best Martinis

Mynt Lounge Fruity, Dirty, Dry, Vodka, Gin, Shaken, Stirred. Tell them how you like it and the bartenders at Mynt will make it for you. Mynt is dressed up without being pretentious and that goes for both the drinks and the scene. If you’ve got a sweet tooth try the “Kiwitini,” or if you’re feeling a bit more grown up, we recommend their dirty gin martini. 2. Red Door 3. Kristoff’s

Best Beer Selection

The Bayou

A great shift from the same old pale ales and lagers that fizzle around the Wasatch Front. 200 varieties of beer from around the world give it the biggest beer selection in Utah. Aside from the plethora of brews, the comfy setting makes it a great place for conversation and parties, and did we mention beer. 2. Red Rock Brewing Co. 3. Squatter’s Pub Brewery

Best Cheap Drinks

Club Try-Angles

Want to spend hours getting pretty to go out and spend eight dollars on sugar water and blue food coloring? Don’t get us wrong, we are all for looking fancy and sashaying through bedazzled crowds, but sometimes we just want to get sloshed. Try-Angles’ barely legal concoctions get the job done without needing a second mortgage. 2. The State Liquor store. (It appears Q readers enjoy the occasional paper-bagcocktail.) 3. Club Sound

Best Coffee&Tea

Nobrow Coffee & Tea Company Being in business for just a few months didn’t keep this shiek new hangout from being Q readers’ most faaabulous coffee/tea joint. With a hip casual atmosphere, great art decor, friendly baristas, live music and even a book

Best Gay Bar

Club Try-Angles

can partake of their liquor which they don’t allow on American Idol (unless you’re Paula). 2. The Trapp 3. Paper Moon

Best Place to Watch a game

Club Try-Angles reigns supreme this year, and without any kind of ballotstuffing at all. In fact, the Try-Angles box had just one ballot in it. On weekend nights, the line is out the door, making it the exception to the “don’t go out ’til 11” rule at bars in Utah. This bar is more about a good time than putting on airs, making it draw a great and diverse crowd. 2. Club Sound 3. The Trapp Door

Iggy’s Sports Grill

Best Lesbian Bar

Club Sound

Paper Moon

The Paper Moon has become an institution. A bastion of lesbian levity, the Paper Moon is a real woman’s bar. Performances and themed nights keep things fresh. The cage keeps things sexy. We go for the drinks and stay for the pole dancing even if we end up being the ones dancing on it. 2. Mo Diggitiy’s

Best Straight Bar

Port o’ Call

The big building on West Temple with the neon beer signs and light from dozens of televisions playing some sort of sports thingies has been a source of wonder and curiosity to many of us queer-gendered individuals. Wonder no more. Port o’ Call is a landmark bar with acres of drinking, dancing, and debauchery. It’s a great place to grab an inexpensive drink and grab a date for the night … provided you’re not looking for someone with the same kind of privates as you. 2. The Tavernacle Social Club 3. Green Street, The Hotel

Best Karaoke

The Tavernacle Social Club Mix half a bottle of wine and a Tuesday episode of American Idol you may feel the need to share your vocal stylings on the karaoke stage of the Tavernacle. Enjoy the truly talented, enjoy the notso-talented, and enjoy the power of having a microphone in your hand. Also, it is superior to American Idol in a several ways, no Simon Cowell, and you

With over 20 televisions, plus one 111-inch monster tube, Iggy’s is the best place (outside of the actual sporting event) to watch sports. Good food, lovely waitresses and a unique blend of sports paraphenalia riddle the establishment, making you feel the butchest you’ve ever felt. 2. Modiggity’s 3. Port o’ Call

Best Dance Club

A grinding, sweaty, shirtless man buffet always packs Club Sound’s massive dance floors. Maybe it’s the open layout, the variety offered by its dual dance floors, quite possibly it’s the gifted DJ’s Naomi, Brent Vincent and Tony Marinos that play a well rounded mix of top-40, hip hop, and techno. Either way, if you are in the mood to move, Club Sound is the place to shake it. 2. The Trapp Door 3. Area 51

Best Live Music

In the Venue

In the Venue brings concerts in almost daily. The sprawling space is loaded with variety. There is room to get crazy and battle it out in the pit, chillin’ the back, drinking in the bar and a great view from the balcony. There are a lot of ways to enjoy concerts depending on your fan level and your inebriated level. In the Venue caters to them all. 2. The Depot 3. Urban lounge

Most Faaabulous ARTS & CULTURE

Best Theater Company

Plan-B Theatre Company

The votes for Plan-B Theatre Company were off the hook, baby. The readers of

QSaltLake love Plan-B so much, it was the highest nominated company in both the professional and amatuer categories. So we made an executive decision to combine the two categories into one. 2. Off Broadway Theatre 3. StageRight Theatre Co.

BEst Local Band

Necrophacus

Since 2001, Necrophacus has become one of the leaders in the Utah metal scene. Band members Anagrath, Grogg, Malek and Assimodus (weren’t these guys Orcs from the Lord of the Rings trilogy?) “... will not go the way of the dodo.” Way to stick behind your beliefs, guys ... kudos! 2. Purr Bats 3. StarMY

Best Gallery/Museum

James Anthony Gallery

Nestled in with other quaint locally-owned businesses that are popping up all over East Broadway, James Anthony Gallery hosts exhibits of major artists from New York City and Los Angeles. Currently on display is the photographic series ‘Victims & Avengers’ by Chris Anthony (no relation); photos of sister actresses Zooey and Emily Deschanel are among the riveting series. 2. A Gallery 3. Utah Museum of Fine Arts

Best Movie Theater

Broadway Center Cinema

This downtown theater beat out the competition by a landslide. Offering up blockbuster hits as well as indies and sleepers make this movie house tops. Though they should consider replacing that dizzying eyesore of carpet. 2. Brewvies 3. Tower Theater

Best Play of 2006

Facing East

No big surprise since the story hits so close to home. Based on Carol Lynn Pearson’s book, Facing East follows two LDS parents as they cope with the suicide of their gay son. Lucky for us, Plan-B is reviving the show this month. Don’t miss it ... hell, it may even win in 2007. 2. Hairspray 3. The Vagina monologues

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If you’ve ever lived in a larger city, when back in Salt Lake you miss the sidewalk cafes and the oldstyle restaurants. Then you find Martine. Walk up a flight of stairs of the brownstone building, down the glassed-in hallway passed the old-style elevator and you are transported to what could be your favorite New York small-plate cafe. Obviously great apps, wonderful service and a fantastic (or fabulous?) space, Martine is superb for lunch or dinner. 2. Red Rock Brewing Co. 3. Takashi

Best Desserts

Most Faaabulous BARS

club, Nobrow is sure to hit a grand scale for caffeine addicts. 2. coffee garden 3. salt lake roasting co.

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Best Concert of 2006

Imogen Heap

Best Drag Clothes

Decade Design

2. Z Gallerie 3. Beyond Ordinary

She may not be well-known around the nation, but she has a large loyal fanbase here in queer Utah. The 27-year-old singer/songwriter was nominated as Best New Artist at the 2007 Grammys. So what if Idol’s Carrie Underwood beat her out, we’re not a bunch of shitkickers here in queer Utah. 2. Local Rock gods 3. erasure

Sequin and rhinestone stilettos, tiaras and fabulous gowns from Decades have fashioned some of us at QSaltLake, and there are pictures to prove it. This fancy vintage clothing boutique has a huge collection of glamorous dresses that need a good home. 2. Hot Topic 3. Blue Boutique

BEST Antiques

Most Faaabulous SHOPPING

Sam Weller’s Zion Bookstore

Best Inexpensive Clothes

Pib’s X-change

The only thing better than a cheap date is cheap clothes. If you’re like some of us and don’t winter well, Pib’s is a perfect place to unload some of your wardrobe that maybe doesn’t fit so well anymore and trade it for something a little more exciting. They also have a very impressive wig collection should you be in need of a piece.

2. Cockers 3. Deseret Industries

Best High-End Clothes

Bastille

In shopping, there is a strict hierarchy that applies to the bags one carries. The GAP bag goes on the inside right against the leg. Next is the Banana bag followed by the Nordy’s bag. The bag that always gets the coveted outside spot (until Sac’s comes to Utah) is the Bastille bag. The gateway store carries the best in youthful couture. G-star…yummy. 2. Lucky Pirate Denim 3. Cockers

Best Shoe Store

Haight Gallery

If you look for shoes that will fit in well at your relief society meeting in Orem, you might want to stick with Payless. If you’re tastes run more toward funky, hot, haute, sexy and sassy, then you probably should get your shoes at Haight Gallery. The Sugarhouse boutique has become synonomous with the hippest in foot fashion. 2. Cockers 3. Q Clothing

Best Bookstore

A three-level shop with nothing but books ... well, and coffee, truly deserves this honor. The second you walk through the door from Main Street, the scent of old worn books washes over you; as you meander through the clogged shelves, the rickety wood floor creaks under your feet; once you hit the basement, you’re lost in a sea of used books with a good chance of finding some buried treasure. 2. Barnes & noble 3. Ken sanders rare books

Best MUSIC STORE

SlowTrain

After opening its doors only nine months ago, this independent music store has won the hearts of Q readers. Maybe it shouldn’t count since the nominations should be in respect to 2006, but what the hell, we at Q Towers respect our readers and support our local businesses. 2. Virgin Megastore 3. F.Y.E

Best VIDEo store

Tower Theatre

Well what can we say...oh yeah, gay soft porn for sale or rent. Operated under the Salt Lake Film Society, this cinematic landmark has a good selection of hard-to-find films. 2. Virgin megastore 3. hollywood video

Best Furniture

R.C. Willey Home Furnishings “One Place, So Many Possibilities” rings true with our readers, who overwhelmingly chose the Utah/Nevada/Idaho and California furniture giant as their favorite place for a number of possibilities, from plasma TVs to Stainmaster carpet. Maybe it’s the fabulously-dressed salespeople?

Anthony’s Antiques & Fine Arts The readers of QSaltLake were all over the map on this category, and no one place got numerous votes; so we at Q Towers, who appeal to grandeur, picked Anthony’s. Though the treasures are expensive, they are simply faaabulous. 2. Deseret INdustries 3. Abode

Best Car dealership

Ken Garff Automotive Group The editors of QSaltLake have known that Ken Garff motors were gayfriendly for quite sometime, now. We’re thrilled to see that our readers know it, too. With faaabulous customer service and a number of hot brands, this is definitely a dealer who backs you up. 2. Menlove 3. D’Ambrosio

Best FLOWER Shop

Flower Patch

The Flower Patch has been an avante garde of ‘forgive me, I strayed’, wedding, valentine and Mother’s Day flower bouquets since 1977. Now with 12 locations and a nod from Q readers, that apparently hasn’t changed. 2. Cactus & Tropicals 3. Twigs flower co.

Best Roses

Twigs Flower Co. The votes were as voluptuous as Twigs’ roses. Raymond King has been a community supporter for years, and his charming flower shop offers much more than the most faaabulous roses, such as exotic plants, fruit bouquets and chocolate baskets. 2. Flower Patch 3. Celestial Flowers

Best Gifts

Cahoots

Located in the 9th & 9th gay mecca, Cahoots overflows with fun, unusual and pervy gifts, such as books, music, cards, trinkets, body chocolate and massage oils, among so much other stuff, it’s like floating on a rainbow to Dorothy’s house. 2. Mischievous 3. Artichokes & Co.

Best Stationery Store

Best Gym

Best Doctor

Tabula Rasa

Gold’s Gym

Dana Smith

Not only is it perfect for picking out those special Post Partum Party invitations ... or Backyard Belly Shot Showdown invitations ... or Nekkid Hot Tubing thank you cards, but Tabula Rasa also has a fabulous selection of picture frames, photo journals and wrapping paper. 2. CAhoots 3. Cabin Fever

Maybe it’s their 19 convenient locations from American Fork to West Valley City, or maybe it’s their saucy (for Utah) “Fit Happens!” ad campaign. Whatever the reason, QSaltLake’s readers picked this national fitness chain as the best place to sculpt their bods while checking out others’ sculpted bods. 2. 24 Hour Fitness 3. Front Climbing Club

This was the least voted on category, which can only mean queers hate needles, or at least we just hate the color of the scrubs. But we do like sponge baths. 2. Jason Fife 3. Ross Bernetti

Best Adult Toys

Mischievous Cards and Gifts They have toys that will make you giggle, scream, smile, maybe even blush a little. Whatever your desire, whether you’re toy hunting with a friend or flying solo, they have the equipment to get the job done. 2. Cahoots 3. blue boutique

Most Faaabulous SERVICES Best Full Service Beauty Salon

Aerolab Salon

Nasty haired ... unibrowed ... dry skinned ... cuticle biter. If that’s what you think when you look in the mirror, it’s time to pay a visit to Aerolab. In fact, if you’re to the unibrowed stage you should have gone in a while ago. Their new location provides luxury and modernity. The staff is friendly and dripping with hair fashion savvy. Dripping! Since Aerolab actually won in all three categories: Salon, Manicure/ Pedicure and Waxing, we at Q Towers have combined them into the Most Faaabulous Full Service Beauty Salon. 2. Polished Image 3. Estillo, Good Times

Best Pet Groomer

Yuppie Puppie

Not only can you get your snaggle-toothed smelly mutt bathed at Yuppie Puppie, but you can also get it trained to use the toilet and obey your commands, such as, “Fido, bring me a condom!”. 2. Dog Show Grooming 3. Camp Barkalot & Foxy Pooches

Best Ski Resort

Brighton Ski Resort “Utah: The Greatest Snow on Earth!” may be one of the corniest slogans on Earth, but damn, do gay Utahns like to have fun in the cold! Our readers’ favorite place to hit the powder: with over half a dozen trails and five terrain parks with such faaabulous names as “My ’O My” and “Candyland”, we think it’s a pretty sweet place, too. 2. Park City Ski Resort 3. Snowbird Ski Resort

Best Tattoo/Piercing

Koi Piercing Studio

Yep, the best place to get inked is also the best place to get that eyebrow, tongue, belly button or nipple piercing you’ve been debating. Koi’s knowledgeable staff and reasonable prices make going here a truly faaabulous experience. The fact they’re named after a goldfish that can live for decades is pretty cool, too. 2. Big Deluxe 3. Good times Tattooing

Best Counseling Service

Pride Counseling

A Support group for gay men, substance abuse, HIV/AIDS, individuals, couples and groups by gay people, for gay people. What’s not to love? 2. Jim Struve 3. Jan Magdalen

Best Dentist

James Warner Apparently James Warner is the dentist to get drilled by according to our readers. Either that or he offers the best sedatives. No, it’s probably because he knows how to give you the most faaabulous pearly whites. 2. Greg Perkins 3. Williamson Dental

Best Attorney

Lauren Barros Lauren Barros, a family law practitioner has garnered the most faaabulous attorney. She specializes in domestic disputes, partnership breakups and custody matters, and she won the Distinguished Family Law Practitioner for 2005-06. 2. Marlin Criddle 3. Jason Schatz

Best Massage

Healing Hands by Christian Allred QSaltLake readers agree: Hands down, up or working a knot out of your back, this gentle, considerate and talented therapist is the one to visit for all of life’s aches and pains. Not to mention, his rates are some of the most affordable in the city. Just tell him Q sent you. 2. Kura Door 3. Utah College of Massage Therapy

Best Hotel

Hotel Monaco This just in: Gay-friendly Kimpton boutique hotel with fabulous service, decor and commitment to serving Utah’s gay community through such things as hosting the annual Red Party, towers over competition in this category. Local readers not shocked at all! Film at 11. 2. Grand America 3. Hilton

Best Bed & Breakfast

Under the Lindens

Owned and operated by a cute couple, Rey Martinez and Barry Nielsen, this “more than just a bed & breakfast” establishment offers luxurious extendedstay accommodations, such as fully equipped kitchens and laundry facilities in the rooms, and a faaabulous outdoor hot tub. 2. Parrish Place 3. Anniversary Inn

BEST REAL ESTATE

Mark McGowan With Utah’s booming real estate market, we would have been shocked if this category wasn’t a close race. In the end, Mark McGowan of Rainbow Mountain Realty walked away with first place. Since his company has served Utah’s gay and lesbian homebuyers fo 20 years, it’s no wonder he has a lot of fans. 2. BABS DE LAY 3. TONY FANTIS

MOST FAAABULOUS PEOPLE BEST QUEER LEADER

Mike Thompson/ Equality Utah You may remember him from such gigs as directing the Insurance Scholarship Foundation of America in Kansas City, or helping Don’t Amend raise over $800,000 to fight the notorious Amendment 3 in 2004. But since 2005 he’s been starring as the director of our most faaabulous political group. Clearly you hope he keeps up the good work. 2. DENNIS MCCRACKEN 3. MICHAEL AARON

BEST POLITICIAN

Rocky Anderson

STRAIGHT ADVOCATE

Rocky Anderson

QSaltLake readers just can’t seem to get enough of Rocky, and I can’t blame them. Seriously. When did you think a Salt Lake City mayor would sign an executive order giving the same-sex domestic partners of city employees insurance and health care benefits and ban discrimination against city employees on the basis

LOCAL ACTOR

Charles Lynn Frost Charles Frost, as an actor, has been in the hearts of many in the gay community since his performance in Plan-B Theatre Company’s The Laramie Project in 2001. Now, he’s the most faaabulous for his performance in last year’s production of Facing East. 2. ALEXIS BAIGUE 3. JAY PERRY

BEST BARTENDER

Paul Sanchez/Club Sound Where do you go for really hot music and dancing? Club Sound, of course. Who serves you Bacardi, Jager and Captain Morgan between bouts of dancing? Paul, of course. You know you love him, so be sure to give him a big tip. 2. STAN/CLUB TRY-ANGLES 3. JIM/CLUB TRY-ANGLES

BEST PERFORMER

Nova Starr

We love Nova, yes we do! We love Nova ... and so do you. How much? Enough to give her this award, anyway. And it’s not like she doesn’t deserve it. I mean, do you have even half of her equally faaabulous skills with a microphone and a mascara wand? We didn’t think so. 2. LISA MARIE 3. LOLA

MOST FAAABULOUS GROUPS BEST SOCIAL GROUP

Spicy Dinner Group Who better to take this category in a state that loves its food than a faaabulous gay casual dining group? From chicken tandoori to tabouleh salad, vegan linguini to chicken fried steak, the homemade dishes each member brings to supper keep things ... well, if not always spicy, then certainly tasty. 2. POOL PLAYERS @ CLUB TRY-ANGLES 3. UTAH CYBER SLUTS

BEST POLITICAL/SERVICE

Equality Utah

Whether it’s leading the charge agaisnt anti-gay constitutional amendments or keeping a legislative score card detailing how our representatives vote for and against us, Equality Utah is faaabulous because of how tirelessly they do the dirty work to keep gay Utahns and our allies informed. Where would we be without them? 2. UTAH STONEWALL DEMOCRATS 3. STONEWALL SHOOTING SPORTS OF UTAH

BEST RELIGIOUS ORG.

Metropolitan Community Church One of the first pro-gay Christian churches in the world is also one of Utah’s finest. I knew that when I saw church volunteers spending a Monday evening cooking vegan curry for a bunch of hungry Soulforce volunteers this March. Opening your doors to give the socially marginalized a voice? Jesus would think that was pretty faaabulous, too. 2. UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST ASSOC. 3. KOL AMI

Q FAAABULOUS BEST COLUMNIST

Ryan Shattuck

Ryan has only been writing for a few issues, but he’s already developed a readership, perhaps partly because of his online blog of the same name — Bullshattuck. A sharp wit, a smart mind and an off-the-wall, out-of-the-blue word wallop are evident in each column. 2. MARK THRASH/CHAD KELLER 3. RUBY RIDGE

BEST STORY OF THE YEAR

Erasure Interview

You should have seen Tony when he found out he got to interview Andy Bell of Erasure right before they headed back into town on their acoustic tour. Then you should have seen him when he was actually doing the interview. All I know is that we had to do a dry run with two recorders (one for backup) taped to

the phone. And luckily we decided we needed the second recorder — the first one didn’t pick anything up at all. 2. GAYS WITH GUNS 3. LARRY H. MILLER MAN OF THE YEAR

MOST FAAABULOUS ... UMMM BEST RADIO STATION

KRCL FM 90.9

Come on now ... Troy Williams, Woman to Woman and Now Queer This, it’s a no-brainer. KRCL provides media exposure for music, ideas and viewpoints that are under-represented in mainstream commercial media, and we all know how that goes here in queer Utah. 2. X96 3. KUER FM 90

BEST TV NEWS PROGRAM

KUTV Channel 2

want to Get Gephardt into bed. Of course there’s the bubbly Allie MacKay ... or how about Sterling Poulson’s Fresh Air Forecast — we at Q always count on Sterling’s predications to choose whether or not to wear underwear each day. 2. FOX CHANNEL 13 3. KTVX CHANNEL 4

BEST LUBE

Gun Oil

High-tech lube for smooth rapid-fire, condom-safe action. It’s the premium lubricant that keeps a man’s most important weapon well oiled. Plus, it won’t rust. 2. EROS 3. WET PLATINUM

BEST PICK-UP LINE

Anything with the word fuck in it. Some of the other great one-line pick ups are: “How much and are you a cop?”, “Wanna see my dungeon?”, “Hi!”, “Can I stalk you?”, “You have a nice smile.” (Thanks, Andy Griffith) and “Want to share a cab?”

This one was pretty obvious too because we all

BEST SPORTS GROUP

Pride Community Softball League There’s nothing like flirting with boys or girls in sportswear, and there’s nothing like spitting tobacco in the dugout, kicking dirt on the umpire and kicking Pillar’s ass. 2. QUAC 3. MWFFL

BEST GROUP TO DONATE TO

Utah AIDS Foundation The AIDS crisis didn’t end with the millennium, and no one knows that better than UAF. Whether they’re providing info on HIV testing, support groups for people with HIV/AIDS or volunteers for a number of services, they’re one of our favorite organizations, and one of yours. We at Q Towers also think their anti-meth campaign is pretty sweet. 2. EQUALITY UTAH 3. UTAH PRIDE CENTER

We’re Nearly Out of TheQPages, so we’re printing a second run right in time for Pride! Sneak in this issue today at 801-649-6663 or 1-800-840-7357. The first book the gay community turns to! By the Community, For the Community.

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Good old Rocky. When he’s not working to make Salt Lake City greener and more diverse, he’s pissing off Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh. Happy host to Dubya and his entourage he may not have been, but QSaltLake readers love him in spite or because of the metaphorical finger he gave the Prez. Twice. Too bad there’ll be no Rocky III. 2. SCOTT MCCOY 3. CHRISTINE JOHNSON

of sexual orientation? I mean before Satan got to practice his triple lutz. I’ll say it again, folks: Why no Rocky III? 2. TOM MOWER 3. RALPH BECKER

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The Gay Agenda YOUR CALENDAR OF ARTS, ENTERTAINMENT & IMPORTANT EVENTS

The taxman cometh. Put all your money in a tube sock and bury it in the backyard. Live by these words: “My rackets are run on strictly American lines and they’re going to stay that way.” — Al “Scarface” Capone

16MONDAY Q I guess some people — especially those with names like Smokey Mike, Backbone and Chaps — were never taught not to play with fire. And thank bejesus for that ... watching someone play with fire is hot! Yes, the pun was intended ... but not original. Anyhoo, along with some fabulous artists including photographers Josh Blumental and Doug Simms, and sculptor Chris Coleman, the fire troupe Incendiary Circus will illuminate some smokin’ performances during this special art exhibition. Noon-6pm, through April 27, Utah Arts and Alliance, 127 S. Main Street. Free, incendiarycircus.org.

17TUESDAY Q Hotel Monaco — winner of Utah’s Most Fabulous Hotel — hosts Drive by Suiting at Hotel Monaco. No, you don’t have a lisp. This fund raising event benefits Dress for Success, an organization providing resources to disadvantaged women for boosting confidence,

respect and dignity as they enter the workforce. Donations of cash as well as business suits (size 8 and smaller are greatly needed), tailored separates, handbags, briefcases, umbrellas, outerwear, blouses, tops, footwear and conservative accessories fit for a job interview are encouraged. All items should be in good condition, clean, and not more than five years old. 6–9:30am, Hotel Monaco, 15 W. 200 South. For more information, 990-9729 or dressforsuccess.org. Q Huddle up boys ... this will be the play of the season. As the RB plunges his own tight end — confusing the defense — the QB reverse pivots and runs into the deep zone of the safety for the Immaculate Conception ... I mean Reception ... Immaculate Reception. To learn more about this play and many others, join Mountainwest Flag Football League during their Spring Flag Football Pick-up Games. Virgins and any size welcome. 6pm, Tuesdays, Sugarhouse Park, 1330 E. 2100 South. Free, 897-2211 or mwffl.org. Q The Gina Bachauer International Piano Foundation presents Reginald Robinson in concert. This young and humble native Chicagoan is a premeire pianist/composer of semi-Classical music, Ragtime (most notably), Latin American and early Jazz & Blues styles. 7:30pm, Jeanne Wagner Theatre, Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. Broadway. Tickets $15, 355-ARTS or arttix.org.

Incendiary Circus See April 16

18WEDNESDAY Q I have to say Weber State University’s Department of Performing Arts must work their asses off because my email account is clogged with press releases about upcoming concerts, programs, etc. Why am I sharing this? You’re probably saying to yourself, “Like, Jimmy crack corn ... ok.” Anyhoo, the WSU Symphonic Band and Wind Ensemble present their final concert of the season with guest, West Point Military Academy Regimental Brass Quintet. 7:30pm, Austad Auditorium, Val Browning Center, 3850 University Circle, Ogden. Tickets $3.50–4.50, 800-WSU-TIKS or weberstatetickets.com.

21SATURDAY Q Sometimes I’d rather have my nose buried in a book than in someone’s ... never you mind. Where the hell was I going with this ...oh, the City Library’s annual SPRING Used Book Sale starts today. Thousands of books and audio/ visual items start at $1 for a hard back book, then prices drop on Monday, and Tuesday is Bag Day, where you fill a paper bag for $5. Hours vary, through April 24, City Library, 210 E. 400 South. slcpl.lib.ut.us. Q The Lambda Hiking Club is sitting down on their Bicycle Trip: Grand Teton National Park. A tranquil weekend getaway to Jenny Lake when the roads are open only to bikers, joggers and hikers. Today and tomorrow, Grand Teton National Park, Wyoming. Visit gayhike.org or email infor@gayhike.org. Q It’s just so damn sweet, my roomie and her girlfriend are chaperones at this year’s Queer Prom. So feel free to spike the punch and the undies will be

flinging about tonight. (Remember, I’m just kidding about the punch ... alcohol is baaaaddd!) 8pm–Midnight, Salt Palace Convention Center. Ages 13–20, tickets $5/adv-$10/at door, 539-8800 or utahpridecenter.org. Q Their music is said to be “a laidback, sloppy blues sound that is quite unique, as it encompasses the sound of classic R&B and recent rap artists.” I happen to find G. Love funky-sheik and his Special Sauce tasty ... wink! wink! Anyhoo, catch the fever of G. Love & Special Sauce in concert tonight. 9pm, The Depot, a private club for members, 13 N. 400 West. Tickets $25, 467-8499 or smithstix.com.

23MONDAY Q John Ondrasik, singer/songwriter of Five For Fighting, musically is “Superman.” His voice draws you to him, your body shuttering in ecstasy. Not only is John a strong vocalist, he is also charitable, a sports fanatic and politically driven (which emulates through his songwriting). I hope he and the band are around for “100 Years.” 8pm, The Depot, a private club for members, 13 N. 400 West. Tickets $20/adv–$25/ day of, 467-8499 or smithstix.com.

24TUESDAY Q You may think I’m referring to Michael Aaron and Todd Dayley in this next event blurb — they are Dirty Rotten Scoundrels of the queer publishing world — but no, I’m referring to Broadway Across America’s hilarious musical-comedy. Get acquainted with one of the lead actors, Tom Hewitt, on page 29. 7:30pm, through April 29, Capitol Theatre, 50 W. 200 South. Tickets $30–65, 355-ARTS or arttix.org.

Upcoming Events

25WEDNESDAY

29SUNDAY

Q James Swenson, the guest curator of Resonance and Return: Social Documentary Photography (1935 to the present), will provide curatorial insights and historical context for his selection of Depression-era photographs from the Farm Securities Administration including those by Walker Evans and Dorothea Lange, with photographs by contemporary photographers Judy Bankhead, Robert Dawson and others. 11am–6pm, through May 10, Street Level Gallery, Salt Lake Arts Center, 20 S. West Temple. Free, 328-4201 or slartcenter.org.

Q The Court sure is busy this weekend. Up next is the 28th annual Golden Spike Awards, which I’m sure Krystyna is up for a number of categories — she’s so Meryl Streep. Hosted by Heidi Ho West Waters and QSaltLake’s own Mark Thrash (also a Most Fabulous nominee for QSaltLake Columnist). 6:30pm, Trapp Door, a private club for members, 615 W. 100 South. Admission $5 at the door.

27FRIDAY

Q Michael’s wardrobe is miserable, Joselle’s singing is miserable, Josh’s bingo playing is miserable, my hair is miserable — we at Q Towers are just miserable — Calgon, take us away. But we’re nothing compared to the characters in Les Miserables. Talk about sad clothing, hair and bingo players ... but the singing is exceptional. 7:30pm, through June 23, Pioneer Memorial Theatre, 300 S. 1400 East, UofU. Tickets $20–49, 581-6961 or pioneertheatre.org.

28SATURDAY

Q The last time I shot a gun I was naked in the desert near Duchesne. I told my friend’s dad I had shot a gun before, which was true, but when I fired his gun I screamed like a little girl. The look on his face was priceless. Anyhoo, the Stonewall Shooting Sports of Utah is part of the Crossroads of the West Gun show. Head on down and find out who has the biggest gun in town ... bang! bang! 9am–5pm, through Sunday, South Towne Exposition Center, 9575 S. State Street. 565-4400, crossroadsgunshows.com or southtowneexpo.com.

Q The Royal Court of the Golden Spike Empire presents the annual Black & White Ball, hosted by Sheneka Christie and Krystyna Shaylee (nominee for QSaltLake’s Most Fabulous Performer). Proceeds benefit the RCGSE Scholarship Fund. 9pm, Trapp Door, a private club for members, 615 W. 100 South. Admission $5 at the door.

May 8 — Morrissey, E Center May 18 — The Killers, Saltair May 19–20 — Cirque Du Soleil’s Delirum, E Center June 8 — John Mayer, Las Vegas June 8 — Salt Lake Men’s Choir — Broadway Babies, Libby Gardner Hall July 21 — Jewel, Deer Valley Resort

30MONDAY Q She ain’t no holler back girl, but damn the diva can yodel — I wonder how she got such great muscle control — I just get lockjaw. She is Gwen Stefani, and this is the Sweet Escape Tour. 7:30pm, E Center, 3200 S. Decker Lake Dr. Tickets $35–45, 467-8499, smithstix.com.

SAVETHEDATE Apr. 21 Queer Prom, Salt Palace utahpridecenter.org

July 21–23 2007 Bear Ruckus, Lava Hot Springs utahbears.com

Apr. 29 RCGSE Golden Spike Awards, Trapp Door rcgse.org

Aug. 3–5 National Gamofite Retreat, Fort Douglas gamofites.org

May 27 RCGSE Coronation, Sheraton City Centre rcgse.org

Aug. 29 Equality Utah Political Action Committee’s Allies Dinner, Salt Palace equalityutah.org

June 1–3 Utah Pride Festival, Library Square utahpride.org June 8 Broadway Babies, Libby Gardner Hall saltlakemenschoir.org June 9 True Colors Tour, USANA Amphitheatre smithstix.com

SEPT. 27–29 Out & Equal Workplace Summit 2007, Washington D.C. outandequal.org Nov. 2–8 Salt Lake Gay and Lesbian Film Festival saltfest.org

If you would like your June 9–Oct. 20 event considered for this list, email tony@­ Farmers’ Market Pioneer Park Saturdays qsaltlake.com. Annual and semi-annual events June 30 that appeal to a large Gay Freedom Day, portion of the gay comHarmony Park munity are considered. pride365.org

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Q Scene This issue editor Michael Aaron and arts editor Tony Hobday and assistant editor JoSelle Vanderhooft took turns at the camera at the Utah Bear Alliance Mr. Utah Bear and Cub Weekend, the final Cyber Slut Bingo at Club Try-Angles and the Equality Ride protest at Brigham Young University, respectively.

Newly “crowned” Mr. Utah Cub Kenny and Mr. Utah Bear Chuck accept their leather titles at a standing-room only Club TryAngles. Kendall, below far right, provided the very hilarious entertainment for the night.

Cyber Slut Bingo at Club Try-Angles ended its ten-week run

Soulforce Equality Riders speak in Provo

Tom Hewitt: Dirty Rotten Star

this is we have a different crew in each city. When we were in Sarasota, Florida, which is sort of the home for Ringling Bros., our entire crew was somehow involved with them. My dresser was one of the Flying Wallendas. I found it so unusual that I said to myself, “Oh my god, I’m being dressed by a Wallenda!”

Tony award nominee Tom Hewitt speaks about the success of Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, being on the road and the long-term relationship with his partner.

TH: Over 10 years.

Q: On a more personal level I understand you’re currently in a relationship … how long have you been together?

BY TONY HOBDAY

Q: Any plans to make it as official as possible?

QSALTLAKE: The reviews of Dirty Rotten Scoundrels have been overwhelmingly positive. What do you think has made it a critical as well as audience success?

Q: Would you elaborate on your response about critical reviews not being your business?

in regional theatre, reviews don’t matter as far as the commercial success goes. Q: During this tour, you’ve played opposite three actors in the role of Freddy Benson: Timothy Gulan, Norbert Leo Butz and D.B. Bonds. Has it been difficult building a rapport each time?

Q: What one thing would you like to share with your fans that they may not already know? TH: [Laughs, repeats the question. Laughs again] During the Rocky Horror Show there was a lot of skin showing, so as far as my physical attributes go, I’d say my gay fans have seen the whole cookie. Q: What’s next for Tom Hewitt? TH: That’s what I love about this business, I have no idea what’s next, but it’s usually something I wouldn’t have expected. In fact, the past couple of weeks I’ve had to fly back and forth to NY for auditions. It’s all about getting that next job. Dirty Rotten Scoundrels runs April 24-29, Capitol Theatre. Tickets $30-65, 355-ARTS or arttix.org.

TH: [sighs] Yes and no. The rapport and chemistry between the two characters is built into the show, they develop a relationship throughout the course of the show, so in a way it’s really easy. Q: Who has been your favorite to work with?

TH: The only opinions that matter in my job are my own and the artistic staff’s. I cannot alter my performance to what some Online blogger or critic says about my performance.

TH: I can’t answer that, but I can say this: Norbert Leo Butz holds the record for the most awards won for a single production [Dirty Rotten Scoundrels], so to have been on stage with him was an event.

Q: Is it common for actors to ignore reviews?

Q: What’s been the strangest event that’s happened on or off stage during this production?

TH: It’s common, but I also know actors who do read reviews. A review can make or break a show, like in New York. But

Q: Is it difficult on your relationship while you’re on tour?

TH: Oh my gosh. [pause] Well, the thing that’s strange about a traveling show like

Illustration: Traci O’Very Covey

TOM HEWITT: Well, I try to make it a policy not to read reviews because I’m so powerless over what people [critics] think. What people [critics] think of me or my performance is not really my business. It’s a little elusive why the show is so appealing to audiences — I think we have a natural love–hate relationship with con men in general. Often, like in New York, people try to con you out of money with a tragic story or terrible inconvenience; and you just sort of laugh and part of your brain knows you’re about to be taken but part of it’s also saying, “I might be able to help somebody.” People tap into the generosity of the human spirit. I think the audiences feel like they’ve been conned, but also feel they’ve been in on the con.

TH: Actually we did. In 2003, we became certified domestic partners in the city of New York, which awards us housing rights. I don’t know if you’re aware, but it’s illegal for a resident to work outside of NY and have a roommate. Because I spend more than six months on the road, it’s a violation of my lease. But now, since we’re certified partners, he is allowed to live in my apartment while I’m not there. My eyes have been opened and I fight for gay [pause] well, marriage – that’s the only word we can use, anything else is less than that.

TH: We’re both in show business, very vain and self-centered [laughs], so we’re a good match. The challenge is when we’re actually living together in the apartment for more than two months. Two big men living in a small apartment in Manhattan is what takes the work. We’re always saying to each other, “Get out of the bathroom, I have an audition in 15 minutes.” My partner is about to open Spamalot in Las Vegas, so we’re both out of town right now.

[h ^ j e b b W i [ B[Wli _d j^[ Zkij$ W h [ f e J^[ =hWf[i e\ MhWj^ A new American opera, sung in English

CWo '( # (& “Often harking back to american popular music of the twenties and thirties…you couldn’t ask for a more comfortably appointed evening of vintage musical americana.” The New Yorker 3/5/07 tickets $10 and up. call 355-aRts (2787).

Thanks To The GeorGe s. and dolores doré eccles FoundaTion

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Dining Guide Nick-N-Willy’s Pizza

4536 S. Highland Drive (801)273-8282 M–F 10:30am-9pm, SA 11am-9pm SU 12pm-9pm

atop the restaurant’s signature dill basmati rice is an unforgettable creation.

Cafe Med

216 E. 500 South, Salt Lake City (801) 322-4101 M–TH 11am–3pm; 5pm–9:30pm F–SA 11am–3pm; 5pm–10pm

What a refreshing surprise it was to try Nick-N-Willy’s World Famous Pizza in Holladay. The location in the Albertson’s Plaza is the first in Utah, with several more rumored to open up along the Wasatch Front. The company’s premise is a range of higher-end toppings atop smallbatch-produced crust. The franchise started out of Boulder, Colorado, so this isn’t going to be a New York or Chicago style of pie. It seems every place has its signature style. As far as I’m concerned, Salt Lake has yet to lay out its pizza manifesto (and I won’t even consider Jell-O anywhere in this equation). Consider it a carte blanche to enjoy any damn style you prefer, or better yet, crave.

On any given night, the eclectic environment of Cafe Med houses and feeds a range of folks. One evening included double-dating gay couples toasting with Armenian Kilikia beer, two interracial couples, a small group of ladies distressing over the state of local theater, and a family with full-grown children sharing glasses of wine—all serviced by a small and efficient wait staff. Meal portions are huge — perfect for sharing around the table. The real adventure in dining out at Café Med is the Persian dishes, all of which come with aromatic basmati rice. Koofteh—plum stuffed meatballs stewed in a light tomato sauce—showcases the playful balance of sweet and savory flavors of Persian cooking. The Persian eggplant stewed in tomatoes and served

Urban Bistro

216 E. 500 South, Salt Lake City (801) 322-4101 M–TH 11am-3pm; 5pm9:30pm F–SA 11am-3pm; 5pm-10pm

There are those in the dining world whose approach to food is so austere that anything but the food and the immediate necessities (i.e. über-chic flatware, one of a kind Riedel stemware) are superfluous additions. Charlie Trotter and devotees wax poetic about dining in pared down décor. Devoid of distractions such as background music, artwork, etc., the

food can truly be the center of attention. If you can’t live in a loft, you can at least enjoy a meal in one. Works from local artists accessorize cement walls, exposed brick, and high ceilings. Enough color and visual interest to strike up a conversation or give you an excuse to drift off on a thought when conversation gets too boring for actual participation.

borhood, it’s a great respite for residents of the area. Its appeal is urbane, with distressed floors and exposed ceilings and brick. But even with all its sophisticated trappings, it manages to be quite comfortable. The lofty space with abundant windows gives it an elemental charm that’s inviting to moms with strollers and the suited working-class.

Avenues Bakery & Bistro

Bambara

481 E. South Temple, Salt Lake (801) 746-5626 Daily 7am-10pm

The vibe at Avenues Bakery & Bistro is unique in Salt Lake. Situated on the fringes of downtown and its namesake neigh-

202 S. Main St. (801) 363-5454 Breakfast M–F 7-10am; SA-SU 8-11am Lunch: Daily 11am-2pm Dinner: SU-TH 5:30-10pm, F-SA 5:30-11pm

Seasonal menus reflect regional American and international influences at this artfully designed

destination restaurant. The setting, formerly an ornate bank lobby adjacent to the swank Hotel Monaco, is as much of a draw as the food. An open marble-fronted kitchen, big windows framed in fanciful hammered metal swirls, and a definite “buzz” make Bambara a popular gathering spot. You can also dine in the adjoining private club, or simply enjoy a cocktail while snuggled in a velvetlined booth. Those going to Capitol Theatre across the street can enjoy a pre- or postevent menu. Continued on next page

NOWOPEN!

Market Street Grill, Oyster Bar & Fish Market at RiverPark in South Jordan *

Market Street Grill ~ 302-2262 Lunch: Mon-Fri 11:30am-3pm Dinner: Mon-Thurs 5-10pm / Fri 5-10:30pm / Sat 4-10:30pm / Sun 4-9pm Sunday Brunch: 9:30 am-3 pm Special Menu Lunch: Mon-Fri 11:30am-3pm Dinner: Mon-Thurs 5-10:30pm / Fri 5-11pm / Sat 4-11pm / Sun 4-9pm Sunday Brunch: 11am-3pm Special Menu

Market Street Fresh Fish Market ~ 302-2271 Open daily 10am-9pm

10702 South River Front Parkway ~ Free customer parking *Private club for members

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Market Street Oyster Bar* ~ 302-2264

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BELGIAN WAFFLE & OMELET INN

F 11:30AM–2; 5:30–10PM SAT. 5:30–10PM

The Belgian Wafe & Omelet Inn is a favorite for skiers heading up to the slopes to gorge themselves with the carbs they’ll need for the day. The restaurant is big and casual, usually ďŹ lled with big families, seniors and kids from across-the-street Hillcrest High. On the weekend mornings, expect to wait a few minutes for a table. The namesake Belgian wafes come loaded with whipped cream, ice cream or fruit. Go for the garbage hash (cheesecovered potatoes with ham, bacon, onions, peppers and mushrooms) or one of the gargantuan omelettes (they come out looking like a pancake, served at and smothered with cheese). Lunch and dinner choices range from burgers and sandwiches to giant platters of roast turkey, pot roast and chicken fried steak.

There’s always one foolproof test when it comes to rating Italian restaurants with my friends: gnocchi. In the world according to Mr. R., Mr. Y, and especially our good friend Mr. M (now residing, ironically, in the carb-phobic capital of L.A.), a good Italian restaurant has to offer at least one version of gnocchi. How? They don’t care. Swathe it in nothing but a velvety and artery-clogging mixture of Gorgonzola and butter. Let it macerate in enough pesto to keep your breath volatile for two days. Or, in true gluttonous fashion, transform the entire dish with a tangy tomato sauce and enough cream to make it electric pink. Just give ’em the gnocchi. So, needless to say, Mr. R. was especially thrilled to see the gnocchi di patate on CaffÊ Molise’s dinner menu.

CAFFÉ MOLISE

MAZZA

7331 S 900 E, MIDVALE, (801) 566-5731 OPEN 24 HOURS

55 W. 100 SOUTH, SALT LAKE CITY (801) 364-8833 M–TH. 11:30AM–2PM; 5:30–9PM

1515 S. 1500 EAST, SALT LAKE CITY (801) 484-9259 M–SA 11 AM TO 9 PM

I try not to review restaurants where I know the folks. Never mind the ethics behind it; simply, it’s bloody uncomfortable trying to review a place that you frequent and adore. There are plenty of selďŹ sh reasons for this as well. When you’re on a ďŹ rst-name basis with a favorite place, it’s your space. It has nothing to do with the professional realm. In fact, it’s a refuge from it. There, you meet up with friends and get a good meal. So, why on earth would I want to transform this relationship and throw it into the cauldron of work-related stress? In this instance, the answer is simple. Mazza is a great place to eat. Period. Those going to Capitol Theatre across the street can enjoy a preor post-event menu. ORBIT CAFE

feel welcome, it might seem as though the food is secondary. Not so. It’s not cuttingedge trendy, by any means; most of the items would fall in the “classicsâ€? category, with garlic burgers, ďŹ sh and chips, club sandwiches and a Philly cheese steak among them. With plenty of good reasons to visit Orbit Cafe, there’s still one more: the prices. Most entrees are under $10, and include a cup of soup or a nice house salad, especially good with the caramelized onion vinaigrette.

RESTAURANT OWNERS:

Get listed in the QSaltLake Dining Guide. Call 801-649-6663 or 800-840-7357 ext. 10 today

540 W. 200 SOUTH (801) 322-3808 M-TH 11AM-10PM; F 11AM3AM; SAT-SUN, 9 AM-3 PM

With so much to enjoy visually at the Orbit, and friendly servers who make everyone

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Gay Geeks Mhh ... The Reek of Geek! BY JOSELLE VANDERHOOFT JOSELLE@QSALTLAKE.COM

Normally my column is about geekery in gayfolk as it relates to media: books, film, TV shows, comics, role-playing games and other staples of a gay geek’s life. But as I sat down to write this week, it occurred to me that true geekery is much more than this. People can be geeks about practically anything: ham radios, classic cars, Big Band music, ticking truck drivers off by signaling them to honk, the works of Jane Austin, perfume ... Ah, perfume. Yes, my friends, in the few months I have been writing this column I have turned into a certified perfume geek. So much for that stereotype about geeks having bad B.O., huh? Back in January, a ’Net friend introduced me to the pleasures of Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab (which fans known as BPAL or, perhaps a bit ominously, the Lab), an online perfumer with a gargantuan catalogue of scents, many of which are named after mythological figures, exotic destinations both real and imaginary, famous and not-so-famous works of art and even writers of Victorian erotica. Not to mention Neil Gaiman charac-

ters, for you fans of Sandman and Good Omens. I was intrigued, but doubtful. I mean, I’m one of those queer women who is pretty resistant to cosmetics and most traditionally “feminine” beauty regimens. Talk about another geek stereotype. Patriarchy chafes my hyper-allergic skin just as much as unnecessary razors and histamine-inducing make-up, after all. But with geeky names like “Bluebeard”, “The Lady of Shallott” and an entire line named for H.P. Lovecraft’s horror books and Cthulhu mythos, resistance really was futile. Three months and lots of scents later, I’m asking my girlfriend to give me BPAL samples for my birthday and putting drops of my favorite scents on my pillow so I can drift off to sleep smelling like a rose. Or sometimes like sandalwood. Or orchids. Or, hell, even Cthulhu. Yes, I know this column is called “Gay Geeks”, not “Great-Smelling Geeks”. I’m getting to that. You see, the friend who introduced me to BPAL is also bisexual, and we’re hardly alone in our obsession. With only a few exceptions, my BPALloving friends and acquaintances are either lesbians or bisexual women (and I’m convinced there are a few gay guys who just haven’t ’fessed up yet). It isn’t very hard to see why, either. This perfumer just revels in the most extravagant, fin de siècle gay way imaginable. First, there’s the lovely Web site. Think of what might happen if such diverse things as macabre medieval woodcuts and the erotic Art Nouveau illustrations of Aubrey Beardsley and Beresford Egan got together for a slumber party that

turned into an all night make-out session. It just screams the kind of turn-of-thecentury decadence that queer and queerfriendly artists popularized. Beardsley illustrated Oscar Wilde’s play Salome and Egan several works by turn-of-thecentury erotica writer Pierre Louÿs (who wrote Songs of Bilitis and had one of those straight guy things for lesbians). I mean, they even have perfumes named for Wilde and his ambiguously gay antihero Dorian Gray. Dorian and Wilde, people! How does it get gayer than that? And oh, the perfumes themselves! How many synonyms can I possibly find for fabulous? It isn’t just the geeky names and the blatant nods to gay culture, it’s the scents themselves. They’re all vegan and 100% natural, so you actually smell like flowers, spices and fruits (tee hee!) and not overprocessed chemicals, which has always been my biggest beef with most perfumes. And a lot of them are blissfully unisex — I could only think of a few that would really only work on a woman (my favorite scents are mostly those you would associate with male colognes, for example). In our sterile and often unimaginative world where gen-

der typically comes wrapped up like a box from a faceless department store, BPAL’s refusal to play the hetero-normative game of designating things for “men only” and “women only” is not just queer-friendly, but really, really refreshing. About as refreshing as smelling a bottle of their famous snake oil. If you’re a geek like me who can be geeky about anything she likes, then it’s probably best that you pick things to be geeky about that won’t hurt your wallet too badly. The best thing about BPAL for me is not only that it’s reasonably priced, but that other BPAL geeks routinely swap and sell scents they’ve grown tired of or allergic to, or scents that just didn’t work for them. So BPAL is not only a fairly inexpensive geeky thing to do as geeky things go, it’s also a great way to meet people — many of them gay people — with similar interests. And that’s the funnest thing about being a geek. To learn more about Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab, visit blackphoenixalchemylab.com. To talk with other fans of BPAL products, visit the independently-run community bpal.org.

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By Ross von Metzke ross@qsaltlake.com

My humps, my humps, my lovely lady lumps. Not the sort of lyrics you typically think of as haunting, thoughtprovoking, ethereal. But in the hands of alwaysingenious Alanis Morrissette, they’re anything she damn well wants them to be. And in this video spoof of the Black Eyed Peas smash, she proves she’s still got that stroke of musical genius that made Jagged Little Pill the angst-ridden solution to many a ’90s teen’s woes. Besides, given that she’s splitsville from long time fiancĂŠ Ryan Reynolds, who can blame a girl for wanting to sink her teeth into something saccharin sweet? If I’d let that beefy hunk of man slip from my death grip, I’d be in desperate need of some cheering up, too. And really, what better way to make light of a bad situation than by going after Fergie? By slowing down and making a ballad of one of the corniest, catchiest songs to hit radio in recent memory, Alanis manages to remind America she has a sparking set of pipes while proving herself an able comedienne in a mere four minutes. From slapping her ass to drowning herself in her man’s “icy, icy,â€? “My Humpsâ€? becomes a colossal joke — and Alanis is the ringleader. Best part is, Fergie loved it. She even sent flowers. We’re not exactly sure what prompted Alanis to put her spin on the hip-hop hit. She didn’t host SNL or MadTV. It wasn’t some intro spoof for the Grammys. Her official Web site doesn’t even acknowledge its existence. And yet, there it is, for the masses to enjoy. Now, on to some real gossip. As some of you may or may not know, Out Magazine raised some eyebrows this week with its annual power issue by naming Jodie Foster as one of the most powerful gay women in Hollywood. She was joined by Anderson Cooper and a number of other celebrities “knownâ€? to be gay in an article on the glass closet. The fuss is that Out treated Jodie and Anderson as if their being gay was a known, documented, confirmed fact. It’s not. I could go on for paragraphs and para-

graphs about why Out likely felt compelled to do this — I mean, controversy sells magazines, does it not? — but I think the best thing I can do is leave that for another column. OK, moving on to something I will be recording on my TiVo — I will be inviting a group by my house to share a bucket of popcorn over. I will be drinking, taking notes and YouTubing the shit out of Jennifer Lopez’s appearance on American Idol next week. Why? Because she’s the vocal coach. Jennifer ‘pulled my hair back in a ponytail for some novel attempt at singing a ballad with my husband, but didn’t actually manage to learn the notes to the song’ Lopez is vocal coaching. Well, truth be told, that’s no better than Sanjaya making the top twelve. J-Lo is swinging by Fox’s “talent� competition to promote her just-released Spanish CD and perform her “hit� single “Que Hiciste� on her show. She’ll also do the requisite coaching on the previous episode and help the contestants hone their skills for performance night. Now, I’m not saying American Idol is known for pitting truly gifted singers with their performers — I mean, this season alone, Diana Ross and Gwen Stefani have both given vocal advice to the far-superior Melinda Doolittle and LaKisha Jones. Were this a dance competition, I’d say JLo might be the most qualified person currently on the charts to offer advice. But vocals? Why not bring back Kelly Clarkson and let her give it a go with the contestants? I shouldn’t comment before I’ve actually seen the train wreck. Word is, Jenny sounds much better than ever before on this release, and you know the one-two flop of her engagement to Ben Affleck and her last CD had to smart. Maybe this time around, she’ll bring a pitch pipe and a prayer for Jesus. And don’t even get me started on her session with Sanjaya. Maybe they can braid each other’s hair and watch Gigli. Something that never ceases to amaze me has happened yet again: A nothing actress has seen her life crumble to bits before her very eyes with the looming release of her sex tape. Lauren Conrad, star of the middling reality show The Hills, is the latest actress to find her most intimate moments surface on tape. In the video, she’s shown riding her former boyfriend Jason

Wahler who, coincidentally, was just sentenced to serve time after three arrests in twelve months. Apparently, Jason’s trying to sell the tape before they send him up the river, and Lauren, who was apparently in on “the making ofâ€?, is livid, going so far as to break into his apartment to find it. To make matters worse, folks aren’t commenting on the sex itself (supposedly, it’s pretty vanilla), but are far more interested in what PerezHilton.com referred to as “really large beef curtains.â€? NASTY! Here’s hoping, like Paris and Colin and Britney before her, sex on tape propels Lauren to the heights of ‌ well, none of them are terribly high or mighty, but it might just get her the cover of US Weekly. As long as she’s wearing her panties. And finally, Whitney is officially a free woman — with sole custody of Bobbi Kristina. The 43-year-old songstress finalized her divorce in an Orange County court April 5, getting emotional before the judge as she told him that communicating with Bobby has become increasingly difficult because he’s unreliable and never where he says he’s going to be. The My Prerogative star didn’t even bother to show up for court. Leaving the courtroom though, Whitney’s frown turned upside down when a photographer scrambling to get a picture tumbled off the curb, prompting Whit to burst out in uproarious laughter: “That’s what happens! That’s what I’m talking about!â€? OK, so Whitney still sounds like a 75year-old chain smoker, but it’s nice to see her get her personality back. As Whit’s SUV pulls away from the curb, she yells, “Did you get that on camera?!â€? And there you have it folks: another week knee-deep in dirt. Enjoy until next time, and remember — stop and smell the gossip!

Comics

Q Tips-y Cranberry Tini

A P R I L 16 , 2 0 0 7    I S S U E 76    Q S A LT L A K E    3 5

This month we have a fab new cocktail recipe for you to try which includes a luscious new liqueur from De Kuyper – De Kuyper Cranberry liqueur. As you would expect from its name, this great new liqueur is made from the juice and extract from the original fruit and bursts with the fresh flavor of cranberries. Our fabulous Cranberry Tini cocktail is made from two shots of De Kuyper Cranberry liqueur, 1 shot of vodka and 3 shots of clear apple juice. All you have to do is shake all the ingredients together with ice and strain into a martini glass. To garnish it, why not add a wedge of lime and some fresh cranberries. Enjoy!

3 6      Q S A LT L A K E      I S S U E 76      A P R I L 16 , 2 0 0 7

To Your Health Can You Talk About Sex? by Lynn Beltran

lynn@qsaltlake.com

Do you talk to your partner about sex, specifically sexual health and whether or not either of you have been screened for a sexually transmitted disease? Ironically, when I ask patients who have been diagnosed with a STD if they talk to their partner or partners about sexual health and protection, or if they have been tested, the answer is almost always “no”. This response is also usually followed by some sort of comment like, “I knew them and they seemed clean” or, “I did not notice that they had anything” or, “I thought we were being careful.” Clearly, the fact that this type of discussion is not occurring is a sign that it is not an easy discussion to have. But not having it lets these diseases keep spreading. A lack of communication could very well be one of the reasons why rates of sexually transmitted infections are ever-increasing in Salt Lake County. What you need to know is that the majority of people infected with an STD do not have any symptoms. You cannot tell by looking at someone if they are clean or not. Sexually transmitted infections do not discriminate; they affect people regardless of age, socioeconomic status, marital status and hygienic practices. When you become sexually active with a new partner, or a one-time partner, you should always protect yourself. If a partner becomes a regular partner, don’t become complacent and put yourself at risk just because you now think that you know them and they “seem clean.” It is important to know your partner’s disease status before you throw out the condoms so that you can make the most informed decisions about what you may be exposing yourself to. Although asking may not lead to the most honest of responses, it can serve as a gentle lead into a discussion about protection, and may be the discussion that prevents you from a trip to your doctor or to the health department for a shot or some antibiotics. Better yet, it may also be the discussion that saves your life or the discussion that prevents you from acquiring a viral infection that will plague you for the remainder of your life. So, how might you begin this discussion? It is not necessarily important to know the details such as who, where, when; after all, it should not feel like an interrogation. If your plan is to be monogamous, you need to make sure that you are both planning

Q Puzzle

to be monogamous. You may also want to clarify your definition of monogamy to make certain that your definition is the same. This definition has been known to have different meaning to different people. For example, some people think monogamy means that they only have sex with one person at a time, or that there is usually only one person in the room when they have sex. Once you have established agreed-upon criteria for monogamy, you want to determine if you are both disease free. The best way to do that is to get tested, and the test should include a panel of STDs. Don’t rely on that test last year or in 1999 to signify your disease status; if you have had unprotected sex at least once since your last negative test, then it is time to repeat the test. After you both get a clean bill of health, or you both get treated for an existing infection, the next discussion should be about how you can best protect yourselves in the future. If you agree to the traditional definition of monogamy, then unprotected sex or bare backing is a very reasonable option. However, you may also want to discuss the “back up plan”, and no, this is not a pun! You want to talk about the slipup, if either of you engage in sex outside of the relationship, protect each other by using a condom at all times outside of the relationship, even if you do not disclose the extracurricular activity. This way you are not bringing any unwanted organisms to your relationship where you enjoy unprotected sex. The worst way for your partner to find out that another person is now included in your “monogamous” relationship is when they are diagnosed with an infection, and they think that you are the only person that they have been sexually active with. This type of discussion may seem daunting; however, you may be surprised by how much intimacy it may bring to your relationship. It may allow for compromise with a partner who differs in their version of monogamy without putting either of you at risk for disease. It may be the lead in to discuss what specific things you really like or don’t like during sex. It may also be a great lead in to establishing an agreement on parameters for sex outside of the relationship. Most of all, it will likely bring you peace of mind during sex, which is often related to a greater degree of sexual satisfaction. The Salt Lake Valley Health Department offers low cost STD testing at 610 S. 200 E. To make an appointment or to find out more about the program, call 534-4666. The Salt Lake Valley Health Department STD clinic is committed to providing quality healthcare to all patients in the most confidential and sensitive manner possible.

A Few Laughs

9 “Don we now ___ gay apparel ...” 10 Dutch pop singer 11 Knock-down-drag-out 12 What Roshan and Denneny do to text 13 What some mean by curious 18 Sitcom with a crossdressing corporal 19 Out 24 “___ be my pleasure!” 26 Make less difficult to bear 27 Boot attachment for Jack Twist 28 Estimate ending 29 Cultivated pansies 30 Tennessee Williams’ Sweet Bird of ___ 33 They have thongs and you wear them low 34 Lesbian novelist Lake 35 What you do at the other end

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Puzzle solutions are on page 38.

A P R I L 16 , 2 0 0 7    I S S U E 76    Q S A LT L A K E    3 7

58 Cross-dresser beside himself? 61 Minnesota governor 27 Answer to “Where’s Carlson the gay district?” 62 Be active in S&M, Across 31 Word before Mary, in perhaps 1 Gay cultural values, e.g. song 63 You might pick one up 6 James of Only When I 32 Suffix with humor in an alley Laugh 33 You might see a polar 64 One with a foamy head 10 Sherman Hemsley bear there 65 Not dose, in Queens religious sitcom 37 Friendly opening 66 “Lead ___ into tempta14 Cups and such 38 Bonehead tion” 15 Pandora’s Box heroine 40 Does a birth rite Down 16 Note to Matt Foreman’s 41 Members of a sex club? 1 Sound in a Star Canyon staff 42 Vietnamese holiday restaurant? 17 Bad round for Patty 43 Successfully donates 2 Marvel Comics superSheehan? sperm? hero 20 “... ___ take arms 44 My own private 3 To the ___ (how to against ...” (Hamlet) actress? play a pirate) 21 Records, to Lambda 47 Straddling 4 Willa Cather novel Legal Defense 50 Inexperienced one 5 Carrier to Copenhagen 22 You have it with relish 51 Lesbian pulp author 6 Nutty as a fruitcake, 23 Go ___ (1994 film) Arthur e.g. 25 Came close to 52 Sandra and others 7 Boot out 54 Mardi Gras follower 8 Makes a wad

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3 8   ď Ž   Q S A LT L A K E   ď Ž   I S S U E 76   ď Ž   A P R I L 16 , 2 0 0 7

Classifieds Help Wanted All Kinds of jobs avail‑ able. Temp, temp to hire. Immediate need. All pay ranges. ­ Contact Steve Whittaker 801‑463‑4828. Fast Food manager, assistant manager and shift leaders needed im‑ mediately in West Val‑ ley. Call 759‑2104.

CAREER Are you looking for the perfect business to work from the privacy of your own home or at your own convenience? Then you have found it! If you are tired of being burned by all the earnfrom-home scams out there, then check out this opportunity. Your job is just to be a rep‑ resentative at your own convenient time, write back and i will give you more insight on the job, a response from you might be your greatest turn over to success in life, so what you wait‑ ing for, get back to me and you will be happy you did so. vmcknight_ arts80@yahoo.com 206-984-0147

ROOMMATES Male roommate to share a furnished three bedroom home with quiet, professional cou‑ ple in West Valley City. No pets/smoking/drama allowed. $300/mo. + 1/3 utls. Avail. now, please call 801-887-7688.

ROOMMATE ads are just $5! Call 649-6663 or 1-800806-7357 or go to qsaltlake.com to place yours today.

For rent Liberty Park area. Large basement unit. 1  bdrm, 1 bath, laun‑ dry facility, high-speed internet, expanded ca‑ ble, dishwasher, fridge. $700/mo. Tyler, 651-6566.

Spacious one bed‑ room between down‑ town and University of Utah available April 1. $700 per month plus electricity, 6-month lease, $300 deposit. Se‑ cure building, private balcony, covered park‑ ing, newly remodeled, washer/dryer, easy ac‑ cess to public transpor‑ tation and supermar‑ kets. Please contact Matthew at 897-3123 for more information and appointment to view.

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