Carnations Promote “Safe Space” for Gay Mormons by Nicholas Rupp
Safe Space Declaration Following is the message that “Safe Space” campaign organizers plan to send to the LDS Church General Authorities, along with pink carnations, during the church’s general conference Oct. 2:
With love and respect,
Sports Editor David Nelson Contributing Writers Scott Abbott, Brandie Balken, Lee Beckstead, Xenia Cherkaev, Janice Eberhardt, Jace Garfield, Beau Jarvis, Lynette Malmstrom, Laurie Mecham, LaDonna Moore, Rob Orton, William T. Park, Scott Perry, Jim Pitts, Nicholas Rupp, Mandy Q. Racer, Ruby Ridge, Joel Shoemaker, Jim Struve, Eric Tierney, Darren Tucker, JoSelle Vanderhooft, Ben Williams Photographers Lucy Juarez, William H. Munk, Shauna Sanchez Art Director Michael Aaron Graphic Designer Kris Kramer Sales Director and Office Manager Steven Peterson Sales Executives 801-323-9500 | 877-870-0727 Sebastian Cruz | sebastian@slmetro.com Bob Tubbs | bob@slmetro.com Distribution Steven Peterson Courtney Moser, Northern Utah Copyright © 2004 Salt Lake Metro.
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The Safe Space Coalition, Comprised of members and friends of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
Events Editor Greg Harrison
SALT LAKE METRO
exploitation, found among both heterosexuals and homosexuals everywhere. We stand for the institution of the family as the embodiment of love and commitment. The presence of a father, mother, and children living together is no guarantee of family success. The presence of true love and commitment within a family is a much better indicator. We believe that all families, regardless of the gender of those involved, should receive wholehearted sanction from our Church in establishing and nurturing eternal bonds. The color pink has been embraced worldwide as a symbol of “Safe Space,” a reminder of the prejudices and torture of the past, and a commitment to creating safe spaces for all of God’s children to progress together as equals. We believe that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints represents the highest of the ideals of the Enlightenment as a society based firmly on mutual respect, tolerance, and equality. The Church we believe in embodies the safest of all spaces, built firmly on the fullness of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. We believe the prophet Nephi when he spoke from the dust: “Behold, doth he cry unto any, saying: Depart from me? Behold, I say unto you, Nay; but he saith: Come unto me all ye ends of the earth, buy milk and honey, without money and without price. Behold, hath he commanded any that they should depart out of the synagogues, or out of the houses of worship? Behold, I say unto you, Nay. Hath he commanded any that they should not partake of his salvation? Behold I say unto you, Nay; but he hath given it free for all men; and he hath commanded his people that they should persuade all men to repentance. Behold, hath the Lord commanded any that they should not partake of his goodness? Behold I say unto you, Nay; but all men are privileged the one like unto the other, and none are forbidden” (2 Nephi 26: 25-28). As faithful citizens of the Lord’s kingdom, we recognize that Church leaders are directed by inspiration and revelation, and that the Church’s canon of scripture remains open. We ask and pray that there will come a time soon when all Latter-day Saints may live honestly and openly as full participants in the blessings of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
Editor Brandon Burt
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Dear General Authorities: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints stands as a restoration of the fullness of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. We read in the scriptures of the teachings and actions of our Savior, who taught us that, as children of our Heavenly Father, we are to respect one another, to shun none, and to truly love our neighbors as ourselves. We believe that every child of God shares a divine potential, and as Latter-day Saints, we welcome all, regardless of their circumstances. We are aware that many suffer in the Church because of their sexual orientation. One good bishop wrote recently about his gay son’s attempted suicide, and this family is not alone. Members who find that their gender identity or attractions do not fall within standardized expectations are too often marginalized, frightened, and taught that their feelings are an aberration that must be “corrected.” Many try desperately to change their nature through churchsanctioned measures, and when those fail, they feel that the only options left are to leave the Church or to commit suicide. The number of suicides and attempted suicides within the Church over the issue of sexuality indicates the need for a new approach. We have learned through experience, as well as through scientific research, that homosexuality is not simply a changeable lifestyle choice, but a deeply ingrained element of a person’s created nature. We do not believe that God intends for some of his children to be treated differently than others, especially in the most significant matters of the heart. We believe in standing for principles of truth and righteousness, and as such, we proclaim the following: We stand up for our knowledge that God makes no mistakes in the creation of his children. He taught us in the scriptures that each one of us has a unique and cherished place in the Kingdom of God. All humans are endowed with both the desire and the right to form lasting, nurturing relationships built on honesty and love. We stand for a Church that is a beacon of hope for all people, a Church that opens its doors to all as a “safe space,” a tolerant and embracing place. We are committed to fostering the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints as a society where a homosexual member’s options are not limited to eternal silence, repression, excommunication, or suicide. We stand for the principle that love is not a sin. We believe that the focus on sexual orientation obscures the real underlying issues of sexual sin, which are founded on lust, greed, and sexual
Publisher Michael Aaron
SEPTEMBER 30, 2004
With the critical Nov. 2 vote on Utah’s Amendment 3 coming just one month from now, this weekend’s LDS Church General Conference has the potential to be mighty uncomfortable for gay Mormons — and that’s not okay with some church members. Bridget Foster of Greenbelt, Maryland, decided to let church leaders and gay Mormons know that she and many other faithful Mormons love their gay friends and family and want them included in the church’s future. So Foster, wife of an LDS bishop, created the “Safe Space” campaign, a grassroots effort designed to gently point out that there’s nothing wrong with being gay and Mormon. Though both the LDS church and Amendment 3’s authors have made it clear that the church has no official stance on this particular amendment — although the church has stated that it supports such amendments in general — many Utahns interpret tacit approval from church leaders and expect gay marriage to be mentioned at the conference. This conference weekend, pink flowers purchased by telephone and online will be delivered to church headquarters along with the “Safe Space Declaration,” Foster’s 800-word affirmation that, in part, states, “We are committed to fostering the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints as a society where a homosexual member’s options are not limited to eternal silence, repression, excommunication, or suicide.” Though the Book-of-Mormon-quoting declaration differs significantly from official church positions on homosexuality and gay marriage, Foster emphasizes that the campaign’s goal is not to attack the church, but to send a message of love and acceptance to gay Mormons who may be suffering in silence. She says those who buy the pink flowers are “expressing their commitment to a community that is open, inclusive, compassionate, and tolerant of all people.” Safe Space says other groups like Affirmation, comprised of gay and lesbian Mormons, are excited about the campaign, but are wary of being too vocal about their support for fear of causing the movement to be branded as just “part of the gay agenda.” Foster personally discovered the anguish that comes from trying to reconcile being both gay and a devout Christian when her best friend attempted suicide and was admitted to a mental institution. “I knew he had been struggling increasingly with something,” Foster said, “but I had no idea what it was. I rushed to the hospital and found him there, his eyes full of tears, terror, and trauma. He told me he was gay and wanted to die.” As a bishop’s wife and faithful member of the church, Foster says the increasingly politicized gay marriage debate caused her to suffer “from a severe cognitive dissonance over the Church’s stance on homosexuality and gay marriage.” The news of attempted and successful suicides by faithful gay Mormons prompted her to find a way to tell them, “You are loved. Please don’t leave.
Don’t ever feel that you must take your life, or that you don’t belong.” The idea for the campaign came to Foster after spending time in an LDS Internet group. “Some of us decided that the Church’s current stated positions endorsing conservative ‘family values’ don’t necessarily reflect the sentiments of all church members,” she says. “So we wanted to make a peaceful and affirmative statement that the church ought to be a safe space for all people, regardless of sexual orientation.” After remarks last March by former Relief Society President and current Deseret Book President Sheri Dew that compared those who don’t actively oppose gay marriage to
those who didn’t oppose the rise of Hitler, Foster chose pink to represent acceptance and “to remind us of the horror of Hitler’s pink triangles. Even in this day and age, the extermination campaign against [gays and lesbians] continues — through institutions that force them to either hide, change, or kill themselves.” Though past official statements from church leaders indicate they disagree, Foster says she’s prayed and reconciled her belief in the church with her belief that “homosexuality is not a choice, nor is it necessarily a sin. The Lord has answered me clearly, and my soul has been enlarged and filled with love in the process.” Pink flowers can be ordered from Absolutely Flowers at slcflorist.com or 984-2500. Carnations are $1 each, roses are $2 each. Both must be ordered in groups of 5. By using the coupon code “safespace,” buyers will not be charged for delivery.
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