Page 1


Oct. 29-Nov. 11, 2011. Vol 26, No 13. FREE.

Women’s frat builds bonds Chi Psi Omega strives for community service by Matt Comer ::


qnotes arts. entertainment. news. views.

Enjoying the fall garden’s bountiful harvest Locally grown produce makes for yummy fall treats

Photo Credit: Corbis


hen the calendar turns to fall months, temperatures drop and local football teams come to mind. With the approach of the cooler weather, many of us also begin to yearn for the warmth of comfort foods like hearty soups and stews or freshly baked pies, but these traditional favorites need not be boring and unhealthy. A modern take on comfort foods uses what is fresh and available during the season, but also explores new ingredients and stretches your imagination to look at old ingredients or recipes in new ways. Regardless of where in the country you live, fall produce is becoming abundantly available. For some regions, families have begun making their annual pilgrimage to the local orchard to pick apples or pears, and pumpkins are maturing in the backyard garden waiting to be turned into jack-o-lanterns. But even if these crops aren’t possible to grow in your area, fresh autumn favorites like pumpkins, apples, parsnips and kale are still most likely making frequent appearances at local farmers markets and grocery stores. Roast them, stew them, can them or bake them. Pumpkin, squash, root vegetables, apples and pears make for great cuisine that the whole family can enjoy. For a new take on old favorites, try adding rutabaga slices to your au gratin potato recipe or pop some cubed squash in while cooking up your family’s favorite beef stew. Get the whole family involved and take the kids along to the market to find new vegetables to sample. Getting everyone interested in new flavors can be exciting. Sample some unfamiliar items and find new favorites. Kids will enjoy

see Local on 11

heir motto is “Forged in fire, from the ashes we rise,” and Mel Dixon, Mecca Kerr, Samantha Mercer and Diana Nutter are bound and determined to make a positive impact. The four lesbian women of Chi Psi Omega Fraternity say they were inspired to create their new group after not-so-pleasant experiences in another. “We’d all pledged and crossed into another LGBT Greek organization that just didn’t work out for us,” says Nutter, the fraternity’s treasurer. “So, we decided to start our own.” Chi Psi Omega isn’t a collegiate fraternity. The group’s members say that doesn’t really matter. “I don’t really think there’s a big difference between social and collegiate fraternities,” says Dixon, Chi Psi Omega’s events chair. “We’re all out here for the same cause. I do think with us being a social fraternity we can reach more people outside of a school and do more in a community.” But, the fraternity does differ from other traditional Greek organizations. Unlike other groups for women, Chi Psi Omega isn’t called a “sorority” and they refer to their members as “brothers.” The group, the co-founders say, is meant to provide a comfortable place to interact with and support other dominant, lesbian women. Regardless of the differences, the results are the same and the group’s members stress unity and community service. “Our purpose is to come together for all the community — not just the gay or straight communities — and try to bridge the gaps,” Nutter says. Founded in June, the group has already participated in an array of fundraisers and community service projects. They’ve held a carwash benefit for the Regional AIDS Interfaith Network (RAIN) and was able to raise money for school supplies for children at Elon Homes. They’ve even joined the city’s Adopt-a-Street program, pledging to take care of Hamilton St. — right in front of the LGBT Community Center of Charlotte at the NC Music Factory. “Community service is huge for me,” says Mercer, the fraternity’s president. “It’s the small things we do that make a big impact in the community.” Chi Psi Omega has embarked on a mission to recruit new members. They say the group needs to grow so that it can have a larger, more positive impact.

see Lesbians on 16



th Community members took to the streets of downtown Winston-Salem on Saturday, Oct. 15 for their inaugural, locally-produced LGBT Pride festival and parade. The events were a first since the Twin City hosted the statewide NC Pride in 1996. Organizers said 5,000 attended the events with relatively few protesters. anniversary 1986-2011 Read the story Oct. on page 9. 29-Nov. 11 . 2011 qnotes 


Oct. 29-Nov. 11 . 2011

inside Oct. 29-Nov. 11, 2011 Vol 26 No 13


news & features

Sign up for our weekly email newsletter at

  1   6   8   8   9   9

contributors this issue

opinions & views

ARAContent, Matt Comer, Kevin Grooms/Miss Della, Steve Harrison, Charlene Lichtenstein, Lainey Millen, Leslie Robinson, David Stout, Trinity, Brett Webb-Mitchell

Charlotte residents marched down Tryon St. on Oct. 15 to protest the proposed anti-LGBT constitutional amendment. Activists seek to spawn a new local movement. Read the full story on page 9.

  4   4   4   5

Women’s frat builds bonds News Notes: Regional Briefs Election Profile: Mayfield Election Profile: Toney New local movement Winston-Salem Pride

Editor’s Note General Gayety QPoll TalkBack

a&e / life&style   1 10 11 12 13 14 15 18 19

Material in qnotes is copyrighted by Pride Publishing & Typesetting © 2011 and may not be reproduced in any manner without written consent of the editor or publisher. Advertisers assume full responsibility — and therefore, all liability — for securing reprint permission for copyrighted text, photographs and illustrations or trademarks published in their ads. The sexual orientation of advertisers, photographers, writers, cartoonists we publish is neither inferred nor implied. The appearance of names or photographs does not indicate the subject’s sexual orientation. qnotes nor its publisher assumes liability for typographical error or omission, beyond offering to run a correction. Official editorial positions are expressed in staff editorials and editorial notations and are determined by editorial staff. The opinions of contributing writers and guest columnists do not necessarily represent the opinions of qnotes or its staff. qnotes accepts unsolicited editorial, but cannot take responsibility for its return. Editor reserves the right to accept and reject material as well as edit for clarity, brevity.

Enjoying the fall harvest Fun fall activities Charlotte farmers’ markets Out in the Stars Tell Trinity On Being a Gay Parent Bodies in Motion Drag Rag Q events calendar

Pride Publishing & Typesetting, Inc. P.O. Box 221841, Charlotte, NC 28222 ph 704.531.9988 fx 704.531.1361 Publisher: Jim Yarbrough Sales: x207 Nat’l Sales: Rivendell Media 212.242.6863

Editor: Matt Comer x202 Assoc. Ed.: David Stout Production: Lainey Millen x205 Printed on recycled paper. a local news partner of The Charlotte Observer

Oct. 29-Nov. 11 . 2011


by matt comer

What a difference 25 years makes

In the 1980s, one would have been hardpressed to find objective or positive news coverage of LGBT people in mainstream media. Newspapers, TV stations, magazines and other outlets primarily remained agents of oppression, often painting LGBT people as sick or depraved — especially so during the early years of the AIDS Crisis. It was this social environment in which qnotes was born in June 1986. For the first time since the 1970s-era Charlotte Free Press, the Queen City had its own local LGBT news publication on which the community could rely for honest, accurate and objective coverage of our lives. Less than a month after the paper’s founding, community groups allowed local media, including WSOC, WBTV and The Charlotte Observer, unrestricted access to cover a vigil in response to a Charlotte visit by anti-gay researcher Paul Cameron. That significant concerns even arose regarding the appropriateness for media presence at a gathering of gay people is a glimpse into a life that many younger LGBT people can’t even imagine. Given the history of mainstream media’s coverage of LGBT people, it should come, as it did to us, welcome and progressive news that qnotes has entered into a partnership with The Charlotte Observer and their Charlotte News Alliance, a network of hyperlocal, online news websites and blogs. Members of the network are able to share their own content with The Observer; in return, the daily newspaper, too, shares its content among the network members. You’ll see some reprinted Observer content in this print issue. Our new partnership with the Carolinas’ largest daily newspaper means great potential for our community. The working relationship guarantees wider coverage of news and issues important to local LGBT communities. Further, our readers will also benefit from increased ex-

posure to The Observer’s award-winning local journalism and entertainment features. Throughout this year we’ve celebrated our publication’s 25th anniversary. As we noted in our anniversary issue in May, our paper’s history is about much more than us — it encompasses the true stories of countless thousands and thousands of LGBT people who have lived, loved, learned, worked and, yes, died here in Charlotte and the Carolinas during the preceding quarter century. We know that LGBT people still find themselves at the receiving end of public prejudice and discrimination. An impending ballot question on an anti-LGBT state constitutional amendment is sign enough of the continued oppression we face. Unfortunately, some of this prejudice still manages to find its way into newsprint and on news cameras. That’s why we take our jobs seriously here. That’s also why our anniversary and our new partnership with The Observer is so special, giving us a moment to pause and reflect. Oh, what a difference 25 years has meant for our community, city, state and nation. “A lot has changed for LGBT people in the 25 years since we first began publishing,” our publisher Jim Yarbrough says. “The Observer’s willingness to work with us epitomizes the growth in positive and equitable coverage mainstream media have begun to offer LGBT people.” We’re thankful to The Observer for the opportunity to share our community’s great news, events and achievements with a broader audience in our local area. We look forward to the mutual benefits our membership in the Charlotte News Alliance brings to both our readers and those of The Charlotte Observer. more: Learn more about the Charlotte News Alliance and see more news and features from other Alliance members at

qpoll Is it too early to start thinking about the winter holidays? When do you plan on embarking on your first gift-shopping excursion? See the options and vote:


Oct. 29-Nov. 11 . 2011



editor’s note

general gayety by leslie robinson qnotes contributor

16 reasons we should be protesting

My view of the Occupy Wall Street protest is that it’s an unfocused jumble, but, at least, somebody’s doing something. At last. What began with a few dozen demonstrators on Wall Street has grown into a national conniption over corporate greed and government collusion. It’s easy for those in power to dismiss the protesters as young people devoid of both sense and hygiene. But, all sorts of people are protesting. That includes us; LGBT folks are demonstrating from New York to Seattle. I’m pleased about that. I can think of a lot of reasons we should be involved in this fight:   1. Gay men bring a certain verve to any gathering.   2. We are in the middle of our movement, still battling for our civil rights, so some of us are ready to demonstrate at the drop of a tweet.   3. Our experienced protesters can advise others on being arrested with maximum exposure and minimum pain.   4. LGBT anthems might be inspiring. I’m thinking of “I Will Survive,” not “It’s Raining Men.”   5. During the considerable down time — many of the protests involve camping out — we could introduce party games. Maybe plan a wedding for a laid-off steel worker and an underemployed librarian.   6. We have been the victims of Wall Street shenanigans, too, losing our homes, our jobs, our hope. Corporate greed is very equal opportunity, savaging straight and gay alike.   7. We have also been the victimizers. If you’ve abetted corporate criminality, it’s time to grow a conscience, sell one of your houses and post bail for protesters. Or, see to it that the demonstration in your city becomes a catered affair.   8. Spiritual guidance. If demonstrators

want a blessing or just clerical panache, our community can provide it in the form of lesbian rabbis, MCC ministers, gay priests, radical Faeries and lesbian Buddhist nuns.   9. The protests are irritating Glenn Beck and that’s reason enough to participate. 10. Passion. Throngs of people. Close quarters. A sense of being real. Occupy Wall Street is Pride out of season. 11. As with Pride, the opportunities for meeting a soulmate or a bedmate are ripe. 12. LGBT persons soaking up the agitation over corporate power might be moved to examine how we produce our annual festivals. Should Pride be about gay freedom or grapefruit vodka? 13. For a few, these demonstrations would provide a professional challenge: the chance to give an anarchist a makeover. 14. LGBT leaders learned the importance of allies. We need to keep these ties strong. When gay people visibly participate in Occupy Wall Street, we stand with youth, liberals, unions, people of color, faith groups, veterans, professionals, anti-war activists and environmentalists. And, confused tourists. 15. It would be best all around if these protests were nonviolent and who better to diffuse tension between demonstrators and police than a quick-thinking drag queen? If well delivered, the line “Does this demonstration make me look fat?” should do the trick. 16. The struggle for gay rights is a lengthy undertaking and the obstacles and backward steps are draining. Occupy Wall Street could rejuvenate our spirits. It might remind us what people can do when they’re angry, fighting for their lives and sort-ofkind-of-somewhat have a goal. : : info: .

join the discussion We welcome your letters to the editor (200 or words or less) and guest commentaries (600 words or less). Submit them to

Letters to the editor and comments from Web comments are not edited for grammar or punctuation. Endorsements: Only about inclusion? Wow. Too bad you guys see “inclusion” as the most important quality in a candidate’s platform. Don’t get me wrong, it is a great addition to an already solid platform. It should not be higher priority than competency, advocacy for fiscal responsibility, and anything else that helps all citizens regardless of sexuality, race, etc. As for Ms. Mayfeild, I have met her, dealt with her and to be blunt, she is unfit for any office. The real estate/bankruptcy story (and finger pointing)offers some insight into her critical thinking skills. We will be replacing Warren Turner’s corruption with ineptitude. Hardly a point of pride for the LGBT community. — Tom, Oct. 17, web Lesbian couple showed courage In response to ‘Lesbian couple arrested after marriage license refused,’ goqnotes. com/12885/: These women showed courage, and I admire the way in which they conducted their campaign of civil disobedience. It is a shame the state cannot recognise the significance of a 30 year long relationship of the couple. Let’s hope it leads to a positive outcome. Perhaps one of the online petition companies could lend a hand. — Derek Williams, Oct. 14, web A big thank-you to Rev. Kathryn and Elizabeth for taking a stand. I have to say, though, that civil



disobedience is pretty easy in Asheville if they don’t take you to jail overnight. I hope Qnotes follows up on what fine is imposed. — beachcomberT, Oct. 15, web Editor has ‘wormed out’ In response to editor Matt Comer’s cautionary note on direct action and the Asheville “We Do” Campaign: Matt you’ve wormed out on this one. I think a few more years on you and you might view things in a different like. This seems incredibly cowardly to me. — Kit9, Oct. 16, web ‘Trashy’ column In response to columnist Leslie Robinson’s “Unreal: The Haggards on reality TV,” printed Oct. 15, Why in the world did you waste space in the Q-Notes with this trashy article? Why would you even think we give one rat’s ass what the Haggards are doing? Do you actually think we care whether they are alive or dead? I’m just blown away by this total waste of time and energy. And putting words into someone’s mouth is a sign of a weak mind. That must be why we get this kind of garbage from the Q-Notes. This reminds me of the “great time to buy a home” article I read in the Q-Notes just before the housing collapse. It’s a shame the only “rag” queers in North Carolina have is such a (Santorum) “rag”. — Edward Jacobs, Raleigh, Oct. 23, letter

CONTEST! Charlotte Fine Art Show ticket giveaway Enter for your chance to win two free tickets

The Charlotte Fine Art Show returns to the Queen City Dec. 9-11, 2011, at Uptown’s Charlotte Convention Center. The fourth annual event brings juried, high quality art from both world-renowned and local talent. The handmade, original artwork comes in all shapes, sizes, colors and costs. It’s a great day out with friends and family. qnotes has partnered with the show for a special ticket giveaway. Fill out the ticket giveaway submission form below and mail it back to us to enter for your chance to win two, free VIP Complementary Admission Tickets. All entries must be postmarked by Nov. 23. Winners will by email and/or phone no later than Nov. 30.

Charlotte Fine Art Show, for FREE! Just complete the form below and mail to: QNotes. PO Box 221841. Charlotte, NC 28205. ______________________________________________________ name: ______________________________________________________ address: ______________________________________________________ city: state: zip: ______________________________________________________ phone ______________________________________________________ email address ______________________________________________________

All entries must be received via U.S. Postal Service and postmarked no later than Nov. 23, 2011. Winners will be notified by email and/or phone no later than Nov. 30, 2011.

Oct. 29-Nov. 11 . 2011



news notes: from the carolinas, nation and world compiled by Lainey Millen :: | David Stout :: | Matt Comer ::

Charlotte Center events are aplenty

CHARLOTTE — The LGBT Community Center of Charlotte, 820 Hamilton St., Suite B11, has announced a host of activities to satisfy the palette for the “family” in the Queen City. On Nov. 5, Neil MacAuley will hold photograph sessions for the holiday season ahead. These will be set by appointment only. Call the center to get on the calendar. Online ordering, greeting cards, enlargements and wall photos will be made available to participants. A donation of $25 will go to benefit the center. Ready to get fit, energized and meet new people? Then join Zumba classes starting on Nov. 7 at 7 p.m. This high-energy Latin and international craze, utilizes exotic rhythms to get the body moving. Maria Jose Loftus will teach one-hour sessions at a cost of $5 each. A portion of the moneys will go to support the center. If dance scene moves are not your scene, then let the center know if you’d like to get in on P90X workouts that start on Nov. 10 at 7 p.m. This exercise method is based upon working on muscle groups on a rotating basis. Start now and get chiseled for the spring. On an ongoing basis, the center is always on the lookout for sustaining contributors. Send donations to P.O. Box 33535, Charlotte, NC 28233-3535 or visit to make a secure contribution. For more information, call 704-333-0144. — L.M.

Triangle Couple featured on ABC

DURHAM — “Transgender Love: When Husband Becomes Wife,” produced by ABC, depicts the story of Diane and Wessel Daniel. The latter decided in 2004 to transition into a woman and eventually became Lina. Diane, a freelance writer and straight, was not overjoyed, but Lina was. After therapy, the two decided to remain as a couple, although not quite in the same way as originally planned. Lina is not attracted to men and says that it is a “gender issue, not my sexual orientation.” On the other hand, Diane is attracted to men. However, because she loves Lina, this does not cause any problems for her. They are affectionate and romantic with one another. They are often perceived as lesbians. To read the whole report, visit abcnews. Diane, a correspondent with the Boston Globe, shared her story, “Goodbye husband, hello wife,” and has gotten a great deal of support. Writers share that they have a much better understanding of the issues. Visit 29868670_1_transgender-rights-transgendered-person-love to read the feature. — L.M.

GCN seeks staffer

RALEIGH — The Gay Christian Network is seeking applicants for an office manager


Oct. 29-Nov. 11 . 2011

staff position for someone who is people friendly and has a passion the network’s initiatives. Want to work for a Christian-based organization in a small, close-knit environment? Interested parties must be willing to be the conduit for incoming and outgoing communication, including phone calls and more. Strong written and oral skills are required, as well as organizational skills. Comfort with numbers is important. Additionally, computer proficiency is necessary in order to perform office duties. Starting salary is $24,000 plus medical and dental benefits with raises based upon performance. Age, race, gender or sexual orientation are not determining factors in selection. For more information, email a cover letter explaining why you would be a good candidate and resume to In others news, Executive Director Justin Lee launched a new blog, “Crumbs from the Communion Table,” in October. To read his musings, visit — L.M.

Subjects for film sought

CHAPEL HILL — Bryce Butner, a senior photojournalism major at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, is searching for LGB couples in the Triangle area who would be comfortable sharing their opinions on screen. Focus for the project is on what the couples are doing to oppose the anti-gay amendment and what would happen to them if the measure is approved in May. For more information, call 828-208-0049 or email — L.M.

Historical items wanted

DURHAM — The Durham County Library, 300 N. Roxboro St., along with Bull City LGBT community members, are on the prowl for historical items for the library’s archives. The Herald Sun reported that Lynn Richardson, head of the Carolina Collection, was approached by LGBT community member Luke Hirst and others to spearhead this massive project. They are searching for items that represent the scope of the LGBT experience in the Durham area only. Papers, photographs, posters, etc., will be accepted. At the time of the cooperative effort, the only things that the library had were a small group of scrapbooks, videos of early Pride events, photo albums, as well as an exhibit of gay history “that was controversial at the time” from the 1980s. They hope to be able to greatly expand this historical representation. Interviews may be held to gather an oral history, if the collective feels it would be of benefit. Of particular interest to the library are collections of Feminary, The Newsletter and Around Our Triangle. For more information, call Richardson at 919-560-0171 or email lrichard@durham — L.M.


causes. Ettelbrick, 56, passed away from cancer four days earlier in New York City. In 1957, Kameny was dismissed from his position as an astronomer in the Army Map Service because he was gay, motivating him to become a leading voice in the emerging movement for gay equality and justice. He protested his firing and appealed his case all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court, becoming the first openly gay person to file a gay-related case before the high court. Although the court denied his petition, the decision prompted Kameny to devote much of his life to LGBT advocacy. Over the course of a career that spanned three decades, Ettelbrick worked for a number of organizations to further LGBT equality. She was the first staff attorney at Lambda Legal in 1986 and served as its Legal Director from 1988 to 1993. From 1993-1994, she served as policy director for the National Center for Lesbian Rights. She also worked with the International Gay and Lesbian Human Rights Commission, the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, the Empire State Pride Agenda and the Stonewall Community Foundation. — D.S.

Couples oppose amendment

Senator fights for Nat’l Guard rights

Triad Benefit announced

WINSTON-SALEM — Winston-Salem Theatre Alliance, 1047 W. Northwest Blvd., will hold a fundraiser for the Adam Foundation on Nov. 19, 1 p.m. and 4 p.m. and on Nov. 20 at 5:30 p.m. “Elegies for Angels, Punks and Raging Queens” is a song cycle with music by Janet Hood and lyrics & additional text by Bill Russell. The work features songs and monologues inspired by the NAMES Project AIDS Memorial Quilt and the style of Edgar Lee Masters’ “Spoon River Anthology.” Each of the monologues is written from the perspective of characters who have died from AIDS and the songs represent the feelings of friends and family members dealing with the loss. Tickets are $16. For more information or to purchase tickets, visit event/205154. — L.M.

RALEIGH — The husband-and-wife, straight-ally team of Chris Weedy and the Rev. Jimmy Creech have started a craze. Weedy and Creech have been inviting their straight friends and neighbors to share photos and stories about their opposition to the anti-LGBT state constitutional amendment voters will consider in May 2012. This initiative was sparked by Weedy reading reports by Tami Fitzgerald, executive director for North Carolina Values Coalition, who stated that the amendment was about marriage protection. Weedy says that her marriage is not threatened and felt it was “ridiculous.” The couple is encouraging other straight-ally couples to speak out via a new Facebook page, “My Marriage Is Not Threatened By Gay Marriage in NC.” Weedy writes, “Is your marriage threatened by gay marriage in NC? Of course not! If you are a heterosexual married couple in NC, show support to the gay community and opposition to the constitutional marriage amendment by posting here a recent photo of you and your spouse.” More than a dozen couples have already shared photos on the new page. Posting and viewing are available at — M.C.

National Two movement pioneers pass in Oct.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Frank Kameny and Paula Ettelbrick, both prominent figures for decades in the LGBT rights movement, passed away earlier this month. Kameny, 86, died at his Washington D.C.-area home on Oct. 11, National Coming Out Day, of natural

WASHINGTON, D.C. — U.S. Sen. Jeanne Shaheen (D-NH) (pictured) has called on the Department of Defense to end a discriminatory policy that bans the same-sex spouses of returning National Guard members from participating in official National Guard family events. The call was issued in the form on an Oct. 18 letter to Secretary of Defense Leon Panetta. The matter began when Chief Warrant Officer Charlie Morgan of the New Hampshire National Guard, recently returned from deployment in Kuwait and learned she was forbidden from bringing her same-sex spouse of 11 years, Karen Morgan, to a yellow ribbon event in North Conway. The event was part of an official military reintegration program designed to help returning soldiers and their families deal with the transition back to life in the U.S. In recent weeks, Sen. Shaheen’s office has raised concerns on behalf of Morgan with local Guard officials, who said they are hamstrung by federal regulations. The decision to exclude samesex couples from the yellow ribbon event was based on the federal Defense of Marriage Act, which prohibits the extension of military benefits to same sex couples, and on federal military regulations interpreting that law. In her letter, Shaheen asked Panetta to get personally involved, and added: “We made the decision as a nation that it was time to allow gay and lesbian soldiers to serve openly in our military. It makes no sense to ask them for the same sacrifice we ask of straight soldiers while denying them the same benefits. We are better than this.” — D.S.

HRC starts marriage support campaign

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Human Rights Campaign has launched Americans for Marriage Equality, a public engagement campaign featuring prominent Americans who support committed gay and lesbian couples getting married. The campaign will reportedly draw from a cadre of supportive professional athletes, film and music celebrities, political and civil rights leaders — and will have a special emphasis on Republicans, AfricanAmericans, Latinos and elected officials. Newark, N.J., Mayor Cory Booker (pictured), who appears on this year’s Time magazine list of the 100 most influential people in the world, kicked off Americans for Marriage Equality. In his 30-second spot, he says, “I’m Mayor Cory Booker and I support marriage equality. I support it because from my earliest of ages I made a pledge that we will be a nation with liberty and justice for all. I support marriage equality because I believe in the 14th Amendment: ‘equal protection under the law.’ And, I support marriage equality because I support love and in this nation we need a lot more of it.” About 53 percent of Americans support same-sex marriage, according to a raft of recent polls. Polling organizations continue to underscore the unprecedented surge in support for the issue. — D.S.

Lesbian gets presidential medal

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Janice Langbehn was one of 13 recipients of the 2011 Presidential Citizens Medal, the nation’s second-highest civilian honor. The medals were presented Oct. 20, which would have been the 20th anniversary of Langbehn’s holy union with her late partner, whose tragic death made Langbehn an unexpected activist and ultimately changed hospital visitation policies nationwide. Langbehn and her partner, Lisa Pond, were about to depart from Miami on a family cruise with their three children when Pond suddenly collapsed. Langbehn and her children were kept apart from Pond by Jackson Memorial Hospital staff for eight hours as Pond slipped into a coma and later died. Lambda Legal filed suit against the hospital on behalf of Langbehn. Kevin Cathcart, executive director for Lambda Legal, commented, “Because Janice boldly told her story, President Obama heard about her and issued the directive last year that led to the new federal rules that will protect same-sex couples and their families across the country.” — D.S.

ble and will use everyday, easily understood language, not academic jargon, so contributors of all educational backgrounds/levels are welcome. They are requesting a range of short pieces (around 800 words) that are personal narratives and/or that include specific resources and how-to guides; other forms of writing and art; people who would like to share their experiences through interviews with the TBTS team; and authors for chapters on immigration and class. For more information or to submit, email Amanda Rosenblum at amanda@ — L.M.

High court avoids adoption petition

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The U.S. Supreme Court has rebuffed the efforts of a same-sex couple to secure an accurate birth certificate for their Louisiana-born son whom they adopted in New York. The Louisiana state registrar has refused to recognize the adoption and issue a birth certificate listing both fathers as the boy’s parents. Lambda Legal represented Oren Adar and Mickey Smith in their case against Louisiana State Registrar Darlene Smith. The couple was attempting to get a new birth certificate for their child, in part so Smith could add his son to his health insurance. Kenneth D. Upton, supervising senior staff attorney in Lambda Legal’s South Central Regional Office in Dallas, warned, “This decision [to deny a writ of certiorari] leaves adopted children and their parents vulnerable in their interactions with officials from other states. More particularly, this decision leaves a child without an accurate

birth certificate listing both his parents.” — D.S.

Global Seven jailed on gay sex charges

NICOSIA, Cyprus — Since July, seven men have been arrested on charges of having consensual sex in violation of Article 171 of Chapter 154 (Criminal Code), which criminalizes consensual sex between adult males. The International Lesbian and Gay AssociationEurope had expressed its concern about the law last December with the Speaker of the Assembly, Hasan Bozer. He maintained then that the Article was no longer being enforced even though it remained on the books. However, on July 20, two men were arrested and brought to court on an accusation of “unnatural intercourse.” Three more men were taken into custody Oct. 14, including the Former Finance Minister of the Republic of Cyprus, Michael Sarris. A day later, further arrests were carried out bringing the number of men in custody to seven. The reports that have reached ILGAEurope indicate that the men have been severely abused while in police custody and their dignity was stripped when they were forced to undergo anal examinations to prove that Article 171 had been breached. Even though the medical reports issued by the doctors said there were no signs of anal penetration, at press time the men were still being held without bond or a trial date. The arrests occured in North Cyprus, an area which has declared itself an independent state. Only Turkey has recognized the socalled Turkish Republic of Northern Cyprus. — D.S.

Submissions requested

NEW YORK — The Trans Bodies, Trans Selves (TBTS) team is seeking more contributors to help ensure that the project will represent a broad a range of trans experiences. Specifically, they are looking for people of color, people on the feminine spectrum, immigrants and/or poor/low-income people who are willing to contribute their stories, expertise and experiences. Contributors do not need to be experts. Experience is first and foremost, and they welcome inquiries from any and all people within the trans community who are open to sharing their own truths. TBTS aims to be as accessible as possi-

Oct. 29-Nov. 11 . 2011



Mayfield says Charlotte’s biggest challenge is economic growth District 3 Democrat LaWana Mayfield could become city council’s first openly gay or lesbian member by Steve Harrison ::

The biggest surprise so far in Charlotte elections this year has been LaWana Mayfield, a community organizer who defeated incumbent Warren Turner in the Sept. 13 Democratic primary for District 3. Turner has represented the west Charlotte district since 2003. But Mayfield, boosted by strong fundraising and volunteers, said her team knocked on 4,500 doors to pull off the upset. She won the primary with 51 percent of the vote. Now Mayfield faces Republican Ed Toney in the November general election. If Mayfield wins the general election, she will become the City Council’s first openly gay person to serve. LaWana Mayfield could become the city’s first openly gay or During her primary campaign, lesbian elected official. Mayfield said the city’s biggest challenge is economic growth. She said she would have conversations “The reality is, until we grow jobs, people with businesses. In addition, she would look can’t spend money,” Mayfield said. “A at empty properties in District 3 and encourbusiness can’t grow and there won’t be any age that they to be retrofitted for new uses. development. It’s all tied together.” Mayfield said it’s important that the city

“have more transparency on the front end.” She said that if that happened, voters would have more reason to support initiatives on the “back end.” “Now that I’m on the campaign trail, I realize that things are more complicated than we the citizens know,” Mayfield said. “Initially the community said we didn’t want the arena. But years later, that was one of the selling points for the (Democratic National Convention).” In the primary, Mayfield raised more than $31,000, a large amount for a challenger in a district primary election. Of the $9,500 Mayfield raised since August, 60 percent came from out-of-state donors. Mayfield spent nearly $18,000 on mailers through the Campaign Workshop, a Washington D.C.-based company that often advises gay clients. One issue that’s been simmering is whether the city should offer benefits to same-sex couples. Mayfield said that should be explored, and that “those are real conversations that we need to have.” She did, however, say that the city must look at the financial impact. : :

LaWana Mayfield Age: 41. Hometown: Born in Ruston, La. Moved to Charlotte in 1991. Family: Has been with partner for five years, no children. Education: Winston-Salem State University, certification in nonprofit work. Underwent training for Western States Center, a community organizing group. Employment: Community organizer. Most recently worked for Grassroots Leadership, a Charlotte-based organization. Political experience: No elected office. Served on Charlotte-Mecklenburg Community Relations Committee. Last Book Read: “Stuff White People Like.” Explains Mayfield: “It’s a comedy, a satire.” — Originally published by The Charlotte Observer, Thursday, Oct. 20, 2011. Reprinted via the Charlotte News Alliance.

Toney wants better roads in SW Charlotte Republican Ed Toney faces Democrat LaWana Mayfield for open District 3 seat by Steve Harrison ::

Ed Toney is passionate about infrastructure — specifically what he believes are a lack of adequate roads and sidewalks in fastgrowing southwest Charlotte. Toney, who worked in the trucking industry and is running for City Council District 3, said

the city needs to ensure that areas like Steele Creek don’t become clogged with traffic. Toney said he doesn’t understand why the city is spending $37 million on a 1.5mile streetcar line uptown when it should spend more money to improve roads like

Ed Toney Age: 52. Party: Republican. Hometown: Born in Bethesda, Md. As a “military brat,” attended high school in Hawaii, moved to Charlotte 14 years ago. Education: High school graduate, 10 years in Coast Guard. Family: Married, daughter. Employment: Retired. Started own moving company, then worked for eight years in Charlotte with Blue Max Trucking. Political experience: First time running for public office. Last book read: “Turning the Tide: How a Small Band of Allied Soldiers Defeated the U-Boats and Won the Battle of the Atlantic.”

POLITICS 2011 Charlotte elections: Nov. 8, 2011 Don’t forget to head out to polls on Nov. 8, 2011. Offices up for election include Charlotte mayor, all seats on the Charlotte City Council and at-large seats on Charlotte-Mecklenburg Board of Education. For more information on qnotes’ general election endorsements for mayor and city council, visit The page also includes basic information about voter registration and checking for your polling location. The Charlotte Observer’s profiles of city council candidates can be found online at Profiles for school board candidates can be found at : :


Oct. 29-Nov. 11 . 2011

Westinghouse Boulevard, which supports a large Siemens plant. “It’s all about getting products to market,” said Toney, a Republican who is making his first bid for public office. “Companies aren’t going to move here unless they see we have good, safe roads. That’s what brings jobs.” Toney said there is a marked contrast between nearby York County in South Carolina, which has a penny sales tax dedicated for roads, and southwest Mecklenburg, where he says roads must be improved. Toney also said the city hasn’t done enough planning for adequate sidewalks. He said some schools are essentially no-walking schools because there aren’t sidewalks. “The sidewalks just stop,” Toney said. “They can’t go to school without walking in the road.” Toney also said the city is too generous with tax dollars to lure businesses. He cited the Charlotte Regional Visitors Authority’s decision to give money to support the ACC and CIAA basketball tournaments. “They are willy-nilly handing out money to the basketball organizations,” Toney said. “They are already coming here. If we are good enough, why are we paying them? They need to be more responsible with taxpayer’s money.” Toney said the city should also work to pay down its debt. Toney decided to run because he believes Democrat Warren Turner needed an opponent. Turner has represented District 3 since 2003, often winning unopposed.

“I said, ‘Let’s get in there and give him a run for his money,’ ” Toney said. But it turns out that Toney will not be facing Turner. Community activist LaWana Mayfield defeated Turner in the Sept. 13 primary. : : — Originally published by The Charlotte Observer, Thursday, Oct. 20, 2011. Reprinted via the Charlotte News Alliance.

Ed Toney is focusing his campaign on roads and sidewalks instead of human rights and social issues.


Organizers want to create new, local movement Oct. 15 Uptown rally a ‘kick-off event’ for nascent Equality Charlotte lobbying, activism group by Matt Comer ::

CHARLOTTE — A rally to oppose a Enochs and other organizers pending anti-LGBT state constitutional aren’t sure what role Equality amendment on marriage, civil unions Charlotte will play after the May and domestic partnerships drew about amendment vote. Local groups 150 participants on Saturday, Oct. 15 like the Mecklenburg LGBT in Uptown Charlotte. Organizers of the Political Action Committee do event said it was the first of several more great work by helping elect local activities to follow. LGBT-friendly candidates to “It was very energizing,” organizer local office, but volunteer Ginger Brock said at a debriefing meeting organizers and citizens like on Monday evening. “To show a grand Enochs see another niche presence was inspriring for Charlotte. It that’s yet to be adequately was a great place to start.” filled. Historically, the Queen Brock’s fellow rally organizer, Jeff City has been without a large, Pastor Jay Leach of the Unitarian Universalist Church of Charlotte Enochs, had hoped 500 people would grassroots activist or lobbyaddresses the Oct. 15 Uptown rally against the proposed anti-LGBT show up for the event. ing presence, though smaller, amendment. “It’s always tough to estimate who’s short-lived groups have formed going to come out,” said Dave Webb, off-and-on over the years. initiative. He and other grassroots activists who served as a co-chair for this year’s Pride Local organizing against the constitutionintend on creating a new group, dubbed Charlotte and attended the event. al amendment comes as communities across Equality Charlotte, to push for voter registraWebb suggested that smaller-scale activithe state scramble to motivate and mobilize tion, volunteer engagement and get out the ties during Uptown’s peak weekday business concerned citizens. A similar rally is planned vote campaigns as the May 8, 2012, amendhours could have more impact. in Greensboro on Oct. 29. ment vote nears. “Having a presence with a small rally durAt press time, a statewide campaign “This was our kick-off event,” Enochs told ing the week with everyone downtown would opposing the amendment has yet to form, qnotes. “Our next rallies will start pinpointing be appropriate,” he told the group. “Not even though the Raleigh, N.C.-based Equality North specific neighborhoods and getting those a march, but just with signs and creating visCarolina continues to lead outreach and people involved in their own rallies.” ibility during the week. It’s about visibility and education initiatives. : : The nascent Equality Charlotte, Enochs getting the word out there. It really gets out in more: Keep up with the latest news on the says, is indicative of growing momentum for front of people and makes them think about anti-LGBT constitutional amendment, local orprogress in Charlotte. what the issue is.” ganizing and news from Raleigh at goqnotes. “Once the momentum is there it is hard to Despite the lower-than-expected turnout, com/in/ncga/. stop,” he said. “When it starts, and especially Enochs is hopeful. He says the rally is just the throwing in something like this amendment, it beginning of a larger, more organized local won’t slow down. We’re making progress and strategy for raising awareness on the ballot we’re on the right track.”

Winston-Salem Pride defies expectations Local organizers present first parade, festival since statewide Pride activities in 1996 by Matt Comer ::

WINSTON-SALEM — Community members took to the streets of downtown Winston-Salem on Saturday, Oct. 15 for their inaugural, locally-produced LGBT Pride festival and parade. The events were a first since the Twin City hosted the statewide NC Pride in 1996. Officials with Equality Winston-Salem, the group that planned the events, told local media that an estimated 5,000 attended the street fair and afternoon parade. Only a handful of protesters were present at the parade. Attendees hailed the event as a positive contribution to the growth of their city. “I think it speaks really well to the progress we’ve made,” said Joe Foster. “We now have Equality Winston-Salem here and we are beginning to organize locally. I think a lot of attitudes have changed since the last Pride parade.” Cathy, who attended the event with her close friend Sherry, said a local Pride festival was a sign of unity. “It’s about being who we are and not having to hide, bringing awareness and bringing the community together where we can all be as one,” she said.

The festival, she said, was also a sign of progress for a state in which she initially felt some culture shock after moving to Burlington, N.C., from San Diego, Calif. “I think it’s great to start something like this,” she said. Susan Campbell, chair of the Forsyth County Democratic Party, attended the event with her group, which had an information booth set up during the street fair. She said events like Winston-Salem Pride show that the city is more welcoming than others might perceive. “I think we’ve got lots of support in this city,” she said. “It’s a great place to be.” Winston-Salem City Councilmember Dan Besse and Winston-Salem/Forsyth County Board of Education member Elisabeth Motsinger participated in the parade and other events. Former Mayor Martha Wood was also on-hand, as was Winston-Salem Symphony Music Director Robert Moody. Openly gay state Rep. Marcus Brandon (D-Guilford) served as the parade’s grand marshall. : : more: Read qnotes’ full coverage of the event and see nearly 200 photos at goqnotes. com/12961/.

Oct. 29-Nov. 11 . 2011



Fun activities to enjoy in the cool fall months

The fall brings beautiful new scents and sounds with crisp air, vibrant colors of leaves gently falling to the ground, crackling wood popping on campfires and the sweet smell of apples hovering in the kitchen. To get the most enjoyment out of the fall months this year, venture out with your family and friends to enjoy some of these scents and sounds: Apple and pumpkin picking :: Apple trees are heavily laden with crisp and delicious apples this time of year. Head out to an orchard to pluck the perfectly grown fruits off trees bearing your favorite variety of apples. Or take your children on a ride to a pumpkin farm. Let them run through the patch, inspecting every pumpkin for the perfect carving medium. Tall and skinny for a witch’s face or round and plump for more of a clown face. Outdoor fun :: Celebrate your favorite sport, family activity or just tailgate at any outdoor setting with finger foods that are quick cooking and easy-to-pack. Save on the utensils and use

Old London Melba Snacks as the key ingredient to add any topper or perfect scoop for dip. Participate in a good cause :: Fall is an excellent time to direct your energies and donations toward non-profit organizations and charities. For example, throughout the month of October, people have been recognizing Breast Cancer Awareness Month. You can participate in a fundraiser for any breast cancer organization or donate funds to worthy groups. And, the work to find a cure doesn’t have to end once October does! Old London is helping to find a cure by donating $0.75 to Breast Cancer research for each proof of purchase from any Old London product received through Feb. 6, 2012. Enter the UPC at Get lost in a corn maze :: Fall is the perfect time for long walks because temperatures aren’t overbearingly hot and the humidity levels are much more tolerable. Dress appropriately for the cooler weather and see what fun you can have getting

lost in a corn maze, or while taking an autumn nature hike. Feed the autumnal appetite :: All of fall’s exciting activities will leave members of your family feeling voracious. Satisfy their hunger — and create a delicious smell in your house — with a fall favorite of Apple Pan Strudel with Dried Cherry Puree, which brings together classic fall flavors and spices in one delicious dessert. : : — ARAContent Apple Pan Strudel with Dried Cherry Puree Ingredients: For cherry puree 1 cup dried cherries 1 1/2 cups water 2 tablespoons kirsch (clear cherry brandy) For pan strudel: 3 cups 100 percent apple juice 1 box of Old London Melba Toast Salt Free Whole Grain 2 pounds various apple varieties (such as Braeburn, Granny Smith and Fuji), peeled, cored, sliced thin in a food processor 1/4 cup fresh lemon juice 1 cup sugar 2 teaspoons ground cinnamon 1 teaspoon ground ginger 1/4 teaspoon allspice 1/4 teaspoon nutmeg Directions: For cherry puree: Combine cherries and water in a saucepan. Bring to a boil, and then simmer two minutes. Stir in kirsch (clear cherry brandy). Cool to lukewarm and puree in a blender. For pan strudel: In a small bowl, mix sugar and spices, set aside. Mix apple and lemon juice in medium bowl. Add sugar spice mixture and toss to coat. Lay the Melba Toast in a single layer on a cookie sheet, and pour two cups of apple juice over each toast, allowing toasts to soak up the juice. In a separate 8x8 pan, cover the pan with a thin layer of apples. Using a spatula, lift the toast from the cookie sheet and place a single layer over the apples in the 8x8 pan. Repeat until layering process until done. Finish by spreading cherry puree over apples. Cover with one cup of apple juice poured evenly over finished pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 45 minutes. Garnish with light whipped cream if desired. The fall months are a perfect time to enjoy spending time with family and getting outside to enjoy the final warm days of the year. For additional recipes, visit Old London on Facebook at facebook. com/OldLondonFoods.



Oct. 29-Nov. 11 . 2011

Local harvests jazz up autumn continued from page 1

comparing the flavors of roasted carrots, parsnips, rutabagas, yams, potatoes, jicama and squash when marinated in a dressing of olive oil, balsamic vinegar, rosemary, thyme, salt and pepper. Decide which flavors your family prefers and make this a seasonal tradition to cook up together annually. Whether you’ve grown your own produce or pick it up at the market, America’s Test Kitchen and Miracle-Gro have teamed up to provide fresh new recipes and tips on fall gardening Sample some of these delicious recipes while incorporating fall plants and produce into the menu and even learn which fall crops are best to grow in your area of the country. Of course, nothing compares with the satisfaction of growing your own produce. Even if you didn’t plant a garden this year, why not make plans for one next year? With just a sunny place for a container on the balcony or a small plot in the backyard, you can easily plant your own garden to grow fresh squash, rutabagas or carrots in the spring to be enjoyed by your family next fall. If you prefer the crunch of a freshly picked apple, try planting a dwarf apple tree instead. As the temperatures drop, enjoy the season’s harvest by incorporating locally grown produce into the menu. Start reviewing new recipes to try for family and friends and test their reactions. With the hearty flavors of freshly grown and harvested vegetables from the garden, everyone will be clamoring for more. : : — ARAContent

Charlotte markets If fall has you itching for homemade recipes, check out these great Charlotte-area farmers’ and food markets for great deals on locally-grown produce. Atherton Mill and Market 2104 South Blvd. Hours: Tues. 3-7 p.m.; Wed. 9 a.m.-1p.m.; Sat. 9 a.m.-2 p.m. Charlotte Regional Farmers’ Market 1801 Yorkmont Rd. markets/charlotte/ Hours: Tues.-Sat. 8 a.m.-5 p.m. Elizabeth Ave. Farmers’ Market 1521 Elizabeth Ave. Hours: Sat. 9 a.m.-1 p.m. Matthews Farmers’ Market N. Trade St., downtown Matthews Hours: Saturdays through Nov. 19, 7:15 a.m.noon; Special Thanksgiving market, Nov. 22, 4-6 p.m.; Closed Saturday, Nov. 26.

Catch election news at Voters in Charlotte head to the polls on Nov. 8, 2011, to elect a new mayor, new city council and new at-large members to the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Board of Education. In case you missed it last issue, catch our city council and mayoral endorsements online at clt11/. On the evening of Nov. 8, 2011, be sure to log back on to for breaking news and election coverage. : :

Oct. 29-Nov. 11 . 2011



Time: Cost: To Reserve:

Tuesday, November 15, 2011 David Lawson, Local FBI Agent Hate Crimes Discussion LGBT Community Center of Charlotte 820 Hamilton St. Cash Bar Social/Heavy Hors D’oeuvres @ 5:30 pm Program starts @ 6:45 pm $20 Call 704.565.5075 or email for more information or pay online via PayPal at



Oct. 29-Nov. 11 . 2011


Meeting Date: Program:

out in the stars by charlene lichtenstein qnotes contributor

October 29 - November 11

November not only entices us with a range of colorful Sagittarian planets, it also provides a spark of inspiration as these planets trine Uranus in Aries and Mars in Leo. A whirlwind of fire signs is stoked! Take your personal gust and let it stir the air and carry you aloft to new places. Maybe someplace warm and wild? SCORPIO (10.24-11.22) While you are not known for being a spend thrift, queer Scorps can get into a wild spending spree. And, why not? You happen to have some extra cash lying around and there are so many interesting and desirable trinkets to collect. But, it would be wise to temper your excitement and save something for a rainy day. Oh, do I feel a drop? SAGITTARIUS (11.23-12.22) After months of tiring work, it is exciting to be able to toss off the shackles of your responsibilities and start afresh. Gay Archers get an infusion of energy and optimism. Get ready to launch your new ideas, meet many, many new influential people and get going on an exciting new track. The sky is the limit, comrade. All you need are the wings. CAPRICORN (12.23-01.20) Mystery surrounds your every move, Pink Caps can become the power behind the throne, able to get those in charge to do their bidding. Don’t waste time on silly short-term and vengeful tasks. Use this valuable time to get things in place for your ascent into the higher rungs. Do so before your uncanny abilities are wrung out. AQUARIUS (01.21-02.19) You are the elected social director as friends and associates vie for your attention and approval. This is exactly where you love to be — in the center of the universe and in command of all the group activities. Will you amass the masses for something serious and political or just allow them to relax, let loose and just have fun? Sigh. Oh, let’s guess. PISCES (02.20-03.20) Guppies with ambition can capitalize on their corporate strategies. Make your best move. It is almost guaranteed to succeed if you can keep your emotions in check. Those who prefer to coast along in familiar waters can enjoy the relatively smooth environment at work that will enable them to do less than they get credit for. Is this different than usual? ARIES (03.21-04.20) Proud Rams are anxious to make a move and a generous mark on the world. Find ways to increase the volume and velocity of your ideas. Maybe you will embark on a diplomatic trip around the world or maybe you finds ways to expand your borders cyberly. Whatever path you take, there is a good chance that you become the next big thing. How big is big? Oh, my!

TAURUS (04.21-05.21) If you are roaming the prairies for love, you could find it now. Get along on your little doggies and see who you can hogtie and brand. For those queer Bulls who are already corralled, find ways to stir up the dust with your lover. How about creating an inviting home environment for nesting? That would mean getting rid of that wagon wheel coffee table. GEMINI (05.22-06.21) If you have a hankering to get close to a certain special someone, this is the time to do it. Pink Twins are often flirtatious and fancy free, but there is something stirred into your drink that makes you emotionally heady and a bit needy. Strengthen current relationships and seek new, enticing ones. You can never have too many! Hmmm, or can you? CANCER (06.22-07.23) Even your dreary workplace becomes much more fun, that is if you can find ways of finishing off long-standing projects. Dive in and and resolve to free up more of your work time. Then just pad around the office looking important and see what is going on in the next office. Make friends in high places so you can get the real lowdown. LEO (07.24-08.23) Fun is the name of the game. So, don’t sit in your pajamas and play with the remote while the excitement is streaming elsewhere. The party train is leaving the station, so get on board! Your presence is required at all major events. Proud Lions are also especially creative now. See how far your artistic talent can take you. Tap into your muse and amuse the masses. VIRGO (08.24-09.23) Now is a good time to reach out to family and set the stage for domestic festivities and celebrations. Don’t be a turkey, queer Virgin. It is time to repair frayed connections and reach a compromise, even if that compromise only lasts through the holidays. And, who knows? It could lead to an entirely new understanding, peace and harmony. Well, maybe! LIBRA (09.24-10.23) If you have something provocative to say, you might as well say it, gay Libra. That is because you are in top communication form. You express yourself in such a way that even the hardest news feels light as a feather. Go on a charm offensive and see how some of your best ideas are received. Have you ever thought of going into politics? How crazy do you feel? : : © 2011 Madam Lichtenstein, LLC. All Rights Reserved. Entertainment. info: Visit for e-greetings, horoscopes and Pride jewelry. My book “HerScopes: A Guide To Astrology For Lesbians” from Simon & Schuster is available at bookstores and major booksites.


tell trinity by trinity qnotes contributor

When your best friend is too nosey

Hello Trinity, I’ve had the same best friend for eight years. We’ve been through everything together. Now, he’s bothering me about how I treat my partner. He says, “I have to be more understanding and less quick tempered!” How do I get my friend to be less nosey and let me live my life? Friendship Woes, Detroit, MI Dear Woes, How do you get the bank to stop making mistakes in your favor? How do you get your boss to stop giving you raises? How do you stop someone who loves you from making you take a look at yourself? Duh! You don’t have to do what anybody says except of course the IRS, the landlord and maybe your best friend once in a while. But, then again, pumpkin, who needs friends when you can ruin all of your relationships by yourself! Hey Trinity, Two years ago I started focusing completely on my dreams of being an artist. But, I work three times as hard as all my friends and never have

money to show for it! It seems like the bigger I dream the harder I fall! Dreaming Hard, Reno, NV

advocating extra marital affairs is despicable and mindless, especially for an internationally syndicated advise columnist? Self Respect, Raleigh, NC

Hey Dreaming, Following your heart’s desire is awful, depressing and constant work. And, the bigger you get, yes the harder you fall, so remember, sweetie, “Think big, dream bigger and expect to break some nails.” (I’ve broken a few myself as shown in my cartoon.)

Dear Self Respect, You’re right! I’m evil and shameless. I deserve to be placed in the town square for public stoning. I will immediately stop writing about extra marital affairs. I have seen the light behind my demonic ways. (P. S. Shame and guilt went out with the New Age. Thanks, but no thanks, honey, I’ve changed my mind!) So, here are:

Hey Trinity, I went on a first date with a guy who insisted on beeping his horn instead of coming to my door. I waited till he finally came and got me, which didn’t make him happy. Was I wrong for not wanting to act like a trained dog? Hornless, Cambridge, MA Hey Hornless, You did the right thing by teaching that dog a new trick, i.e., manners. If you can’t get him to greet you at your door the first time, then you’ll probably have to forgo a lot of other amenities later on, like returned phone calls or being treated with respect! It’s rarely OK to beep and not get someone on any date, never mind the first one, unless your date is handicapped. Going to get someone is a rule confined not just for knights and kings, but also for everyone. However, darling, once you’ve been dating for a while the rules can change if you both agree on it, otherwise you may have to bleach that date right out of your hair! Dearest Trinity, I’ve been reading about your “liberal” advise on extra marital affairs with men already in relationships! Don’t you think

Trinity’s Powerful Ponders for Dating Someone Married   1. Keep asking your higher power, “How the hell did you get me into this mess?”   2. Don’t impregnate yourself physically or financially until you see the divorce papers.   3. If you must speak nasty about their spouse? Not in front of them, please!   4. Adults have secrets! Honor their privacy and your own.   5. Cologne or perfume is only worn when dating someone unmarried!   6. Guilt and shame are for religious fanatics. Forgiveness and self-respect are for enlightened realists.   7. Forget fantasizing about the future. There is none!   8. Two’s company, but three can only bring cheaper rent. Hey! I think we’ve got something!   9. Don’t give presents that leave clues. Especially undergarments. Accepting presents is fine. 10. Jewelry, art and leather give great return value, especially the day after they say, “Good-bye.” : : — With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity was host of “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama, and now performs globally. info: . Sponsored by: Provincetown Business Guild 800-637-8696 .

Oct. 29-Nov. 11 . 2011




on being a gay parent by brett webb-mitchell qnotes contributor

Being the parent of a gay parent

While it would’ve been helpful at times to have an operating instruction manual in raising children, it simply did not come with the arrival of my children. I hunted for it in all kinds of places, but never did find it. And, while my parents often seemed to raise my brother and I effortlessly at times, I now know that most parents do what we do as parents with our children from the seat of our pants. In performing arts terms, parenting is all about the art of improvisation, day in and day out. Coming out is a similar process: there is no operating instruction manual in the art of coming out of one’s closet as an LGBTQ person. I still find it fascinating that those of us who are LGBTQ have gone through the process of



Oct. 29-Nov. 11 . 2011

coming out at one point or another — or often in different contexts — even though there is no step-by-step plan, ritual, ceremony or party to celebrate such an achievement in one’s life. I’ve yet to find a holiday card for such an occasion, though I’m sure some entrepreneur has already thought about this niche market. When I came “out” of my “closet” to my family (though the metaphor of armoire is a better description in talking about the closet’s portability) my family network included not only my former wife and children, but my mom and dad as well. As a fan of family system theory used in the therapeutic community (I’ve used this theory in both academic and church contexts), I watched in awe as news of my being gay hit the watery surface

of my family, with a ripple effect carrying news of my self-revelation and identification far and wide, catching the ear of various extended family members in my family of origin and my former wife’s family. Soon, grandparents, aunts and uncles, nieces and nephews, cousins and second cousins were “in” on the hot gossip of the day. Once the gay was out of the armoire, there was no longer a secret about who I was. After all, the quickest way of killing a secret is telling everyone what the secret is. One of the unexpected results of baring my soul and stepping out of my armoire is that my mom has become a point person for other older parents of out-LGBTQ adult-children who are in the process of coming out. Gossip sometimes works for the good of all. (The root of the word “gossip” is “Godspell” or the “Good News.”) The gossip in my mom’s community in a suburb of Portland, Oregon, is that her son is a parent of two young adult children, book author and Presbyterian minister who is gay. Lo and behold, neighbors — some of whom she has said little more than “hi” to — stop her on her daily walks around the community and simply said, “Liz, can

I ask you a question? My 40 year-old daughter just told me she is a lesbian, and I don’t know what to make of this news.” My mom — who is by vocation and self-identification a nurse — then simply shares her experience of learning that I was gay. She is quick to let others know, first, “it’s going to be OK,” or in her own way to let the other older parents know “it gets better.” She has spoken up and out at our home Presbyterian church and other churches in the area, encouraging them to become part of More Light Presbyterians (an LGBTQ and straight ally in the PCUSA). One of my friends in her home church calls her his favorite fruit fly. “What’s a fruit fly?” she asked me. “And, is that good?” “You’re fine,” I assured her, chuckling to myself that my mother was called a fruit fly. While an operation manual would’ve been helpful at certain stages of this “coming out” journey, my hope is such stories like mine, like our families, provide a map for others who would like to know what may be coming their way. It is an open-ended adventure that continues to amaze me, each and every step of the way. : :


Bodies in motion Brian Brooks Moving Company at NCSU’s Center Stage

Choreography Brian Brooks will bring his latest dance creation, “Motor,� to North Carolina State University for a special one-night performance on Thursday, Nov. 17. Over three miles of cable extend from the back of the stage and over the audience, creating a tunnel-like space in which dancers wrestle with themselves and one another in exploration of perpetual motion, time and experience. The performance will also include Brooks’ solo, “I’m Going to Explode� and a new work, “Descent.� Show begins at 8 p.m. at the Gregg Museum of Art & Design. A pre-show discussion with Julliard School grad and Elsie Management founder and director Laura Colby begins at 7 p.m. Admission varies from $5 for students to $29 for the public. For more details and to purchase tickets, visit

Photo Credit: Christopher Lange

qomunity qonexions u 16/5:653(>6--0*, 3HYY`>1VOUZVU (;;695,@

7OVUL! -H_!  

76)V_ /PJRVY`5*


Oct. 29-Nov. 11 . 2011



Lesbians unite continued from page 1

Kerr, the group’s chief pledge Chi Psi Omega’s Mel Dixon officer, says spreading messages delivers a check to Regional of equality and awareness is now AIDS Interfaith Network. more important than ever. “There are lot of obstacles right now,” she says. “From bullying to some of the things that people are trying to write into law, I want to be here to stand up against discrimination.” Kerr says it’s comforting knowing other members of the group are just as committed to such a cause. “It’s best to partner with people who have the same vision as you,” she says. “As far as the Greek organizations at Solidarity, Dixon says, is a strong, commuClemson, I thought it would be difficult to be nal feeling. Once you get it, it’s hard to let go. a member,” says Mercer, who is a Clemson “At first I didn’t really consider myself beUniversity graduate. “Around the time I ing in a fraternity,” she says. “I just never saw thought of pledging I was just coming out. I that being something I’d strive for. Once this didn’t think it would be an easy transition for came to me, I felt the bond and the brotherme being an open lesbian and being in the hood and it was truly something I never traditional Greek organizations.” experienced or felt before.” Chi Psi Omega recently held an open Dixon thinks it is good to have groups of house at the LGBT Community Center of LGBT people who can serve as role models Charlotte. They are still looking for members. for younger members of the community. They hope they can enlarge their membership “It’s good for younger LGBT community roles before the holidays really set in. One of members, for them to see what we are doing their upcoming projects will depend on it. and for them to know that we are out here to The group is also ramping up their “One turn to if they want to be a part of something Community Cares” initiative now. It’s parlike this,” she says. ticularly fitting, as November is Homeless Ensuring inclusive fraternal spaces is Awareness Month. They’ll collect donations in important, especially when so many colorder to purchase supplies for care packages legiate organizations continue to face issues with blankets, toothbrushes, toothpaste and of homophobia. other toiletries. The packages will benefit clients of Crisis Assistance Ministry and The Salvation Army’s Women and Children’s Shelter. Chi Psi Omega also plans on hand-delivering packages to local homeless residents, as well. Those interested can donate as little as $10, $20 or more. Such community-focused work is rewarding and life changing, the members say, and they hope others will join them in their causes for good. “We are preaching awareness and tolerance and making a difference,” Kerr says. “I joined this effort because I wanted to leave my mark on society and wanted to be a part of something great.” She adds, “I’m joining this fight with others who will do that with me and we’re making a difference.” : : info: Learn more about Chi Psi Omega Fraternity at



Oct. 29-Nov. 11 . 2011

Positive Postings

Disclosing your HIV status

by Dale Pierce ~ Practice Manager/Ryan White Program Director

Disclosing your HIV status can be tricky. When do I do it? How do I do it? I know it can be more than scary, believe me I have been there. You probably wonder who will ever love someone who is “tainted.” How will my family, friends, co-workers or church family treat me? Will I lose my job? Will I lose my partner or potential partners? All of these things are valid concerns for someone that is considering disclosing that they’re HIV positive. You do not have to tell everyone that you are HIV-positive. You should tell people that they may have been exposed to HIV so that they can be tested and seek medical attention if required. These people could be sexual contacts or people with whom you have shared needles. If you do not want to tell them yourself, your local department of health can inform your contacts without even using your name.

Disclosure will inevitably become a lifelong process, as most every infected person is living longer and healthier lives. When you decide to disclose your status, it is important to set some expectations and realizations. Trust your instincts, disclose when you are ready (only you will know when that time is). Think about what you’re going to say ahead of time and “rehearse” how you will tell someone. Choose your time and place and don’t be rushed, never let peer pressure of society dictate your decisions. Share with people you trust and use your own words. Remember that those you tell may not know a lot (or anything for that matter) about HIV. You do not have to tell your landlord, neighbors or employer about your HIV status, especially if doing so could change your housing or employment situation. If you are being threatened with eviction or job loss because of your HIV status, contact an advocate — you have rights. It’s always a good idea to think carefully about who you want to tell, why you want to tell them, and how you are going to tell them. Once you have told someone you have HIV, you can’t then “un-tell” them, so be sure you can trust them to keep it to themselves. When you are first diagnosed, it’s probably wise only to disclose your status to people you believe will give you support.

I was lucky when disclosing my status. It was a “liberating” process for me. That is not to say it is always that easy. I found that all the things I feared were dismissed by most everyone’s desire to educate themselves and support me and my choices. Keeping a secret like your HIV status can be risky for obvious reasons, but beyond that it can affect your overall health. Stress is not something that you should have to battle when dealing with HIV and keeping those secrets can be harmful. For me, I realized that the disease does not define me. HIV is not who I am nor should it affect how others treat me; good, bad, or indifferent. I adopted the attitude that if they loved me before, they will love me after, it’s just a part of who I am. By talking to more individuals about your status openly, you may help prevent someone else from getting the disease. We all know that stigma still exists, so by being open and honest and starting real and constructive dialogues, we can change the face of this disease. If your telling someone stops the spread of this horrible disease to one person, was it not worth it? I am not saying that individuals with HIV have to be “poster children” for the AIDS movement. Don’t get me wrong, common sense will dictate to you when it is relevant or worthy to share. Sometimes “over disclosure” can be just as harmful. For example, you don’t have to tell

the lady at McDonalds, “Yes, go ahead and super size that, and, by the way, I am HIV positive.” Some people do take it too far. Disclosure should be something that empowers and strengthens your spirit. At Rosedale ID, I have the opportunity to meet with newly-diagnosed individuals every single day. Every story and every situation is different. I believe that there is a time and a place for all of us to disclose and that it can help our inner self become stronger so we have more time to focus on the tasks of care and compliance. If talking to a friend or a family member puts shivers in your spine, by all means seek positive resources with professionals to help you in the process. Above all, know when you HAVE to disclose your status. Don’t endanger others or yourself by keeping silent. In other cases of friends, family, co-workers, church friends; you will know when the time is right. People should and will love you for who you are and all of you; if they don’t were they really that instrumental in your life anyway? There is a line in a song I love that sums it up the best; “the people who care what you have don’t matter and the people that matter don’t care.” Don’t forget to visit our website at and friend us on Facebook for community and clinical updates. — Sponsored Content —

Oct. 29-Nov. 11 . 2011




drag rag by miss della qnotes contributor

Pageants are falling like leaves from the sky!

Well, hi kiddies! Happy Fall — heavy pageant time! Can’t wait. Our photo this time is of Alana Steele of Indianapolis, the reigning All-American Goddess who’ll be in Charlotte in December for the NC prelim. As you know, there will also be the At-Large contest, as well. I can’t wait to see the current “Big Gal,” Dena Cass, and a former, Kelexis Davenport. Here comes trouble! Ha! I’ll start with the results from Miss U.S.ofA. At Large, held in Tampa in early October. The Lady Tahjee Iman was relinquishing her title and Desiree DeMornay won. Her runners-up were Dorae Saunders, Tanisha Cassadine, Des’ree St. James and Alexis Nicole Whitney. Other finalists included, in their ranking order: Mizery, Rochell D’Leight, Vanessa Ross, Ginger Ale, Jocelyn Summers, Kayla Krawford and Sasha Sommers. As I’m sure most of you know, Coti Collins has just finished her reign as Miss America and my, what a great job she did. I told her she’d go down in the books as “The Contestants’ Miss America” because she really focused on who she would crown. Before I go on to discuss who did get her position, I’d like to mention some folks who placed to compete since the last Rag. An older queen by the name of Maybelline Maskara took Louisiana by storm and won and her RU was Athena Campbell. Our newest former Miss



Oct. 29-Nov. 11 . 2011

NC, Emery Starr, won Miss Southeast down at the Hide-A-Way in Rock Hill. Her RU was Diamond Hunter. Rushena Falon represented Mid-Atlantic and there were two reps from Eastern States: Dominique DeLorean and Stephanie Lane. Which brings us to the next matter at hand…a huge congratulations goes out to Kirby Kolby of Raleigh, the newest Miss Gay America. I hear she went in and removed all doubt as she excelled in every category and won several awards on final night in Columbus, OH, like Evening Gown (a J.D. Martin original), Interview and Talent. I remember back in the day travelling to support “Katherine” as she competed years ago. Amaya possibly best summed this win up when she said it seemed like the year of lost dreams being captured, referring to Kirby, Chelsea Pearl and Alexis Gabrielle Sherrington. I thought it was a sweet observation. Kirby’s runners-up included Jessica Jade, Jenna Skyy, Araya Sparxx and former Miss NC, Blair Williams. Other finalists included Sally Sparkles, Tanisha Foxx, Chantel Reshae, Roxie Hart and Celia Putty. Seems like there were a lot of old school girls back this year. Here’s wishing Kirby a good year as she realizes an old dream come true. Words to one of my favorite Martha Wash songs come to mind — “It’s an easy thing to do,

when you have someone who believes in you.” Jessica also won OnStage Response and Angela Lopez won Miss Photogenic. Von Entertainment of Scorpio in Charlotte (Donald, Brian, Tiffany and staff) won promoters of the year and the bar won most folks in a venue for a pageant. On the local scene, London Dior is the newest Miss Hide-A-Way; her RU was Kelly Brooks. Kassandra Hylton won Miss Congeniality, and Kylie Kay took home the Jessica Raynes Starr Award. London won Talent, Gown and Presentation! All right, sis! I mentioned Alexis Gabrielle Sherrington earlier, our newest Miss Continental. I’m told by her prelim promoter, Alyson Thomas, that she’s still glowing. At Diskotekka in Miami, they will have a special show for her on Nov. 13, including several former Misses Continental. I understand there will be another special function in the future; more details later. (Gotta make sure it’s not a secret!) The only other contest I know about would be Miss Warehouse 29 and Shae Shae LaReese won. Shae Shae won Talent and Presentation, Malayia Chanel Iman won Gown

Alana Steele of Indy, the reigning All-American Goddess.

and Neely O’Hara won On-Stage Response. : : info: Drop me a line, OK?

Day of activism, learning, honoring

Nov. 12 • Greensboro Equality Conference and Gala Equality North Carolina hosts its fifth annual Equality Conference and Gala. The day-long conference, featuring special speakers and workshops, will be held at the Elliott University Center on the campus of the University of North Carolina at Greensboro. The evening gala, featuring special keynotes and the group’s annual awards, will be held at the Empire Room in downtown Greensboro. For more details see our news note on page 8 or visit

Thru Nov. 12 • Charlotte ‘For the Love of Harlem’ Openly gay Charlottean Jermaine Nakia Lee presents his musical “For the Love of Harlem,” profiling the lives and loves of some of the most legendary stars of the Harlem Renaissance. Duke Energy Theatre at Spirit Square, 345 N. College St. Various dates/ times. Various prices. Thru Nov. 19 • Charlotte ‘Next Fall’ Actor’s Theatre of Charlotte presents 2010 Best Play Tony Award nominee and 2010 Outer Critics Circle Award winner for Best New American Play, “Next Fall.” The production centers on the relationship between Luke and Adam and the ups and downs of the couple’s five-year relationship. The theater company says the play is “equal parts romance, family drama and a powerful coming-of-age story…a provocative look at faith, family and love.” Actor’s Theatre of Charlotte. Various times. Various prices. 650 E. Stonewall St. 704-342-2251. Oct. 30 • Charlotte Brian Sims fundraiser Openly gay, Democratic Pennsylvania State House candidate Brian Sims hosts a fundraiser for his campaign. Location to be determined. For more information, visit To become a sponsor ($250) or host ($100) contact Matt Goldfine at or call 484-876-1820.

Nov. 2 • Charlotte International Collectibles and Antiques The International Collectibles and Antiques Show Fall Classic brings a new show with rare and unique finds to decorate your home with any style and on any budget. 7100 Statesville Rd. 9 a.m.-5 p.m. 704-714-7909. Nov. 4 • Charlotte Dinner Crawl For just $30 enjoy a a four-course meal and drinks at the NC Music Factory’s restaurants and bars. The dinner crawl takes you for appetizers and cocktails at VBGB Beer Hall & Garden, followed by hors douvres and entrees at The Saloon and desserts and drinks at Bask on the Seaboard. An after party is also planned. Purchase tickets online at cfm?eid=874. Nov. 4 • Charlotte ‘For the Bible Tells Me So’ Unity of Charlotte presents a special screening of Daniel Karslake’s documentary “For the Bible Tells Me So.” Unity of Charlotte, 401 E. Arrowood Rd. 7 p.m. 704-523-0062. Nov. 5 • Charlotte Family holiday photos Photographer Neil MacAuley of Our Family Photo hosts a special photo shoot for you and your family. Get your holiday portraits

made for only a $25 donation to the LGBT Community Center of Charlotte. Schedule your appointment for the portrait-making by calling 704-333-0144. Photo shoot will be held at the Community Center, 820 Hamilton St., Suite B11. Nov. 8 • Charlotte General Election Don’t forget! Head out to your local CharlotteMecklenburg polling location to vote for a new mayor, city council and at-large school board seats. Learn more online at goqnotes. com/clt11/. Nov. 8 • Elon Jimmy Creech Local LGBT and allied organizations host activist, former pastor and author Jimmy Creech for a book reading and signing. Creech recently published “Adam’s Gift: A Memoir of a Pastor’s Calling to Defy the Church’s Persecution of Lesbians and Gays.” The Elon School, 201 S. O’Kelly Ave. For directions, visit Nov. 12 • Winston-Salem Film: ‘Summer Storm’ OUT at the Movies Winston-Salem presents a screening of “Summer Storm.” For more information on the film, visit University of North Carolina School of the Arts, ACE Theatre Complex, 1533 S. Main St. 7 p.m.


events qnotes

arts. entertainment. news. views.

Nov. 13 • Charlotte Evening of Hope Rosedale I.D. hosts its second annual Evening of Hope and Inspiration with award-winning Gospel singers The Martins, benefiting Rosedale’s Jeanne White Ginder Food Pantry. McGlohon Theatre, 345 N. College St. 7:30 p.m. Tickets available at Nov. 17 • Raleigh Brian Brooks Moving Company Choreographer Brian Brooks fuses “minimalist rigor with flamboyant whimsy” (The New Yorker). Brian’s latest whimsy? Spanning the distance from the back of the stage out to the farthest walls of the theatre, over three miles of sky blue cables expand to create a tunnel-like space over both audience and performers in the 60-minute dance “Motor.” Within this vibrant, large-scale installation, dancers wrestle with themselves and one another in an exploration of perpetual motion that amplifies our linear perception of time and experience. North Carolina State University, Stewart Theatre, 2610 Cates Ave. 8 p.m.

we want your who/what/where

Submitting an event for inclusion in our calendar has never been easier: visit

Oct. 29-Nov. 11 . 2011





Oct. 29-Nov. 11 . 2011

QNotes Oct. 29-Nov. 11, 2011  

QNotes profiles members of a new, local LGBT women's frat, explores fall activities and local Charlotte farmers' markets. Plus, QNotes annou...

QNotes Oct. 29-Nov. 11, 2011  

QNotes profiles members of a new, local LGBT women's frat, explores fall activities and local Charlotte farmers' markets. Plus, QNotes annou...