Queen City Nerve - June 3, 2020

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

NEWS& OPINION

4 EDITOR’S NOTE BY RYAN PITKIN 6 DAY AND NIGHT BY RYAN PITKIN

Ongoing protests show different tactics in the Movement for Black Lives

ARTS

10 SOMETHING WICKED THIS WAY BY LIZ LOGAN Charlotte filmmakers depict beauty and horror in Appalachia

MUSIC

12 THE BOLD AND THE VIRTUAL BY PAT MORAN Local company keeps the music alive online

14 WHERE IS THE FRY? BY LILLIAN TAYLOR Popular food truck keeps rubber to the road during quarantine

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EDITOR’S NOTE THE REVOLUTION WILL BE LIVESTREAMED

We are dedicated to bringing you the unfiltered truth in a time of change

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BY RYAN PITKIN

When I arrived to the Express Mart across the street from the CMPD Metro Division office on May 29 to attend a protest in response to the murder of George Floyd by a Minneapolis police officer, I felt like I had been in that same situation many times before, and yet I truly did not know what to expect.

I have been covering activism in Charlotte for around 10 years now. It’s how I started my career in journalism, from Occupy Charlotte on through the years.

From climbing through thick woods around Duke Energy’s Marshall Steam Station to find where activists had stopped a train full of coal from leaving Mooresville, to following the round-theclock protest marches surrounding the Democratic National Convention in 2012 until my feet were too blistered to walk.

I’ve also closely watched the growth and evolution of a movement that has grown impossible to ignore around the country in recent years — one that focuses on holding police accountable for their all-too-often unchecked violence against Black bodies.

Most popularly recognized as the Black Lives Matter movement, or the Movement for Black Lives (though both of those terms refer to specific organizations, so use them at your own discretion), Charlotte has unfortunately been all too familiar with the trauma of police violence.

Jonathan Ferrell, Janisha Fonville, Keith Lamont Scott and Danquirs Franklin were all shot and killed

by CMPD officers, and those names come directly to mind because of the community reaction I witnessed in response to their killings.

However, they’re just a fraction of the real toll.

And yet, something about George Floyd’s murder, the video of officer Derek Chauvin kneeling

on Floyd’s back as his consciousness slipped away for the last time, just felt different.

We’ve all watched from afar as different cities have responded to police killings in their own way in the past, then sprung into action when it’s happened in our own cities. But something about that video of Floyd’s death struck a nerve, and the country rose up together for the first time.

Not only were organizers across the country planning simultaneous action in a more widespread way than we’d ever seen before, but folks who had never paid attention before suddenly started to realize this was no longer something they could ignore.

As Queen City Nerve publisher Justin LaFrancois and I stepped out of his car on that Friday night of May 29, he nonchalantly asked if he should “Go Live” from our Facebook account, meaning to livestream the protest. I said sure, it couldn’t hurt, and went on my way live-tweeting and documenting the goings on of the evening.

What happened that night and through the weekend you can read about in this week’s cover story on page 6, but what happened on that Facebook Live page was something I had never seen before. Thanks in part to this new awakening that the country was experiencing, and also to Justin’s raw reporting skills and willingness to put himself in danger to tell the story truthfully as it was happening rather than rely on spin from any side of the issue, people locked in on his daily streams.

Justin and I walked around 30 miles each that weekend, with him walking even further as he continued nonstop coverage while I worked to put this paper together. The reaction he got showed us both why we risked everything to start this paper in the first place.

As of this writing, all of his live-streams collectively have garnered over 1.5 million views, a staggering number for two guys who just figured we’d check out a protest on a Friday night and stream it to see what happened.

I don’t say all this to brag about social media numbers or make an entire population’s trauma our success story, I say it for quite the opposite reason. We started this paper to bring people the news stories they need to know about from the viewpoint of the folks living through them on the ground without spin from politicians, officials or filtered through mainstream media outlets. And that’s exactly what we’ve done.

The rawness of Justin’s live-stream coverage is the epitome of that goal being fulfilled, and the

reaction we’ve gotten from community members has been overwhelming.

If you watch one of these streams during the ongoing protests now (as I write this I plan to send the paper to print and go join him at another rally), you’ll see that it’s getting hard for Justin to move around and do his job without someone coming up and thanking him for his work.

It’s not about a cult of personality, or Justin getting famous off the grief of a community, it’s about people telling him that they wouldn’t have been aware of what was happening if it weren’t for our work.

People have approached us continuously and told us that they wouldn’t have joined the protests if it weren’t for him, or that they haven’t been able to find a single source that covers these demonstrations in such a way that they feel they can fully trust it like they can trust Justin in his storytelling.

That is actually a depressing thought, but it also why we exist in the first place, and I’m so happy that we do in this time when it’s important to hear the stories from the folks on the ground who are putting their bodies on the line to fight for what they believe in.

Now as President Trump, who’s built an immovable base of support by convincing his followers that the media is the enemy, begins to huff and puff and threaten to send in all his military might to suppress protests across the country, it’s more important than ever to have these independent voices telling stories as they happen.

We’re more than happy and humble to serve that purpose, and we thank every one of you who has followed along.

RPITKIN@QCNERVE.COM

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NEWS & OPINION FEATURE DAY AND NIGHT Ongoing protests show different tactics in the Movement for Black Lives

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BY RYAN PITKIN

Kass Ottley was already in bed when things started to go bad on the first night.

Ottley, founder of Seeking Justice CLT, has been a community organizer in Charlotte for 10 years, and from the moment she heard about a protest planned in front of the CMPD Metro Division office on Friday, May 29, she was uneasy about how that would end up.

The protest was the first to be held in Charlotte in response to the murder of George Floyd by Minneapolis police officer Derek Chauvin on the previous Monday. A video of the killing shows Chauvin kneeling on Floyd’s neck for over nine minutes while he repeatedly states that he can’t breathe, then calls for his mother before losing consciousness. Three other officers stand by idly as Floyd dies.

The video set off protests in Minneapolis, followed by other cities across the country, leading to the most widespread simultaneous Black Lives Matter protests since the movement began in 2013 in response to George Zimmerman’s acquittal in the killing of 17-year-old Trayvon Martin.

And on May 29, 2020, the George Floyd protests reached Charlotte, leading to more than 100 arrests in the first four days and debates over who was to blame for escalating tensions and inciting violent confrontations between police and protesters.

Friday night’s Metro Division protest stemmed from a Facebook event titled “Justice for George Floyd,” and was hosted by a newly created group called Justice for Police Brutality - Charlotte, which led back to a couple clearly fake Facebook profiles.

Local organizers who wanted to respond to George Floyd’s murder how they saw fit — with the memory of protests that later proved to be planned

by Russian bots during the Charlotte Uprising still fresh in their heads — were skeptical from the time the event hit Facebook. Some worried that it was a product of the Boogaloo Boys, an emerging anti-government right-wing extremist group that formed in preparation for a second Civil War and is known to infiltrate Black Lives Matter protests to incite violence against police.

The protest was later found to be hosted by

beginning, when organizers first crossed the street to stand in front of the Metro Division precinct, where 10 members of CMPD’s Constructive Conversation Team (CCT) awaited them. The team was formed in 2016 following the Charlotte Uprising. It consists of 20 officers who go into protests and demonstrations to engage with the folks taking part, hoping to build a rapport through having difficult conversations.

One protest leader made it clear with her bullhorn that “We are not going to protest the way police want us to,” sometimes standing between the CCT officers and protesters to drown out their conversations. Organizers handed out pieces of paper with the Serve the People logo that read, “There are no good cops!” and explained how police keep workingclass Black communities like the ones on the Beatties Ford corridor in “semi-slave like conditions” in order to protect private property.

As the evening progressed, protesters marched peacefully up Beatties Ford Road toward the Lincoln Heights neighborhood.

Many community members stood on their porches with fists raised A PROTESTER SPEAKS AT A MAY 29 PROTEST AT CMPD METRO DIVISION. PHOTO BY GRANT BALDWIN in support or simply waving to the protesters. One woman angrily ran and into the house, and [the organizers of the into the crowd when it stopped at the intersection such as abortion clinics.

As for Ottley, her concerns weren’t based on protest] are doing nothing, thinking they’re doing of LaSalle Street and Beatties Ford Road, demanding that everyone leave because, “People get shot in this who was planning the protest, but where they were something good.”

Queen City Nerve was at the protest from the community all the time and you don’t care.” planning it.

The CMPD Metro Division office sits right in a part of the Beatties Ford Road corridor that’s extremely significant to local Black culture, a block away from the Excelsior Club and half a mile from Johnson C. Smith University, with four historically black neighborhoods within a onemile radius.

As Ottley went to bed that night, she tuned into live streams to check on how things were going, worried that instigating confrontations between police and the members of those communities would end tragically. She watched for over an hour until things began to escalate. When PHOTO BY GRANT BALDWIN tear gas began to spread across PROTESTERS AT THE INTERSECTION OF LASALLE STREET AND BEATTIES FORD ROAD. a group of local organizers, some of whom had split with the Charlotte Uprising after 2016 to form groups such as Serve the People CLT and Red Guards Charlotte. Members of the group had last made local news in June 2019 when they jumped on the dais in the meeting chambers of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Government Center during a city council public forum about proposed noise ordinance amendments outside of medical facilities

Beatties Ford Road, she jumped from her bed and made her way to the scene.

“I always tell everybody when I’m going to a protest, but I didn’t tell anybody anything,” Ottley recalled later. “My daughter was highly upset when she saw me on Facebook running because we’re getting shot with rubber bullets. She was mad as hell. I’m out here getting tear-gassed and all this mess trying to get these people out of the street

NEWS & OPINION FEATURE An older man offered a more nuanced critique: “All these motherfuckers goin’ to call the police as soon as they’re in trouble,” he said. “Then you just gotta hope you don’t get that one racist cop!”

Upon returning to the station, confrontations with police grew more aggressive. Despite having many seemingly meaningful conversations as dusk

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A MAN PROTESTS PEACEFULLY AT METRO. PHOTO BY GRANT BALDWIN

message across, and we haven’t been getting it.

People who have been activists for a while, they haven’t been getting the message across, getting actual change to happen, so I feel like they’re mad because they couldn’t take advantage of it and elevate themselves.

“But really it was about the people who showed up to voice their grievances and fight back against the police,” he continued “It’s not about any one person organizing it, it’s about the people, so that’s who really matters. If other people have grievances with what the people did, then from my perspective it seems like they don’t actually care about their voices.”

As for the location of the protest, Florence said they picked the Beatties Ford Road corridor specifically because of its proximity to historically black neighborhoods.

PHOTO BY JOSHUA GALLOWAY “The people who are going to respond the most are going to be people in historically black neighborhoods because that’s who experiences [police harassment] the most,” he said. “So this criticism that we’re just trying to get black people arrested, no, we’re doing this so they can voice their grievances. If we go to a white, majority wealthy neighborhood, they’re not going to have problems with the police.

They’re well off enough to the point where they don’t have to worry about police brutality. The people who actually have to deal with this on a daily basis, they deserve to have a platform to fight back.”

On that Friday night, police arrested 15 people, more than half of whom were charged only with failure to disperse. Among those were Charlotte City Council member Braxton Winston and the ACLU’s local campaign manager Kristie PuckettWilliams.

Like Ottley, Williams didn’t agree with protesting on Beatties Ford Road, but attended reluctantly in PHOTO BY GRANT BALDWIN

underserved, that has had three police shootings protest “was always meant to be confrontational, that I can think of in that area — one not that but never meant to be violent.”

Florence believed the more experienced long ago with Danquirs Franklin — and play off of those people’s anger and emotion, get them riled organizers in the city were denigrating the protest up and then fall back and go home to their quiet because they were not allowed to control it. He neighborhoods — no helicopters, no tear gas, no claimed that people working with reputable blockades — and traumatize those people all over organizations had not shown enough results in the again,” Ottley said.

“So I was really angry, I’m still angry.”

Queen City Nerve spoke to one organizer of the Beatties Ford Road protest who told us that, “This narrative that it’s white people going in and instigating the violence is just not accurate.”

On the ground, it appeared to be a rather diverse group of organizers, although one white woman who took a PROTESTERS DODGE TEAR GAS IN UPTOWN ON MAY 30. lead role on Friday night drew the ire past. of many of the protest’s critics.

“Activism is not something you can just do and The member of the group that Queen City Nerve talked to, who spoke on condition of anonymity receive praise for, you actually have to accomplish and asked to be identified only as Florence, said the something,” Florence said. “You have to get your

fell, the CCT officers eventually went inside the station, and out came the Civil Emergency Unit (CEU), better known as riot police. For the next five to six hours, things would break down, as police deployed tear gas and shot pepper balls — paintballs filled with pepper spray — into the crowds.

It was a pattern that would repeat itself in the coming days as protests moved into Uptown: Protesters would spend the day and early evening marching peacefully, seeing an outpouring of support from passersby, residents on their balconies and those in traffic who would honk their horns and throw up a fist.

Then, as night fell, confrontations with police would heat up, eventually leading to tear gas, pepper balls, and bottles and rocks turned into projectiles.

It was a pattern that Ottley saw coming, and never wanted to see occur on the Beatties Ford corridor.

“I was angry because I sat there and I watched a group of white people come into a predominantly black neighborhood that is CIVIL EMERGENCY UNIT OFFICERS IN FRONT OF THE METRO DIVISION OFFICE.

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NEWS & OPINION COLUMN order to serve a mediating role.

“Myself and councilman Winston had been out there for hours, we were there to monitor the situation and to ensure the safety of the people,” she later told Queen City Nerve. “He and I know all too well the effects of police brutality on the black community. We didn’t want to see that happen again.”

Williams believed she and Winston were targeted by police not only because they were highprofile protesters, but because they were keeping things in order. Video of Winston’s arrest shows him standing peacefully between police and protesters when he’s plucked from the street by a group of CEU officers in riot gear.

“What became apparent was they don’t want peace,” she later said of the police. “People were peaceful, they weren’t throwing shit at them. They were just talking shit to them, holding the line with them. When they arrested Braxton, it didn’t even make sense. But it does make sense, because I think what the real issue is, Braxton and I had more control than they did over the crowds, and they didn’t like that. If they took us out, they believed that the rest of the crowd would disperse, which actually, from what I was told, things deteriorated after we were arrested.”

And despite peaceful protests during the day on Saturday and Sunday, things continued to deteriorate as night fell each evening.

During a virtual city council meeting on June 1, Winston addressed CMPD Deputy Chief Johnny Jennings during a briefing on the ongoing protests.

After questioning CMPD’s deescalation policies, their “blanket decisions” to arrest people for failure to disperse, and their tactics at the Friday protest, during which they pushed protesters up Beatties Ford Road away from the division office and toward “vulnerable businesses,” Winston then asked Jennings directly about his own arrest.

“What could I have done differently to not be arrested?”

Winston asked.

“You could have left,” answered Jennings, who less than two weeks previous had been named the successor to CMPD Chief Kerr Putney after he retires in September. “When the dispersal order was given you could have walked away. I’m not THE LINE going to try your case talking to you

here at this meeting, but the bottom line is that thrown at us, we know then that it has gone from the people that left, they did not get arrested. You a lawful protest to an illegal riot, and we move stayed there, you remained, you were part of the accordingly,” Putney said, explaining the steps he line as officers pushed through and that’s what takes before deploying the CEU. happened.”

During a virtual media press conference following Jennings’ briefing on June 1, Chief Putney stated that he found Floyd’s murder “disgusting” and that he has been surveying members of his CEU and other units because he doesn’t want anyone who felt differently working with the CMPD. However, he emphasized that those feelings will not stop him from employing force to protect his officers and city property. He pointed out that eight officers had been injured up to that point (three more were injured later on Monday night) and officers had confiscated many weapons from protesters.

Putney laid out the BLACK LIVES MATTER. department’s policies When asked about claims that police had for dealing with demonstrations, distinguishing between protests that are peaceful, lawful and escalated situations throughout the weekend, illegal, each one building in aggression as the police Putney denied that was the case.

“That is totally unfounded,” he said. “If no one see it.

“When we have that first rock or brick or bottle throws a rock or assaults our officers, if no one tries

to destroy property, they’re lawfully protesting, and we encourage and accommodate. Otherwise, we have to maintain order and will do so.”

Queen City Nerve was on the ground during

PHOTO BY JOSHUA GALLOWAY

protests all day and night throughout the weekend, and did witness plenty of back and forth between protesters throwing objects and police shooting tear-gas canisters, flashbang grenades and shooting pepper balls. It was often hard to tell just who instigated each specific situation, but reporters on the ground witnessed multiple incidents in which police acted unnecessarily violent and antagonistic.

In one such instance that happened on Sunday afternoon in Uptown, bicycle police directed protesters into a parking garage at Whole Foods in Stonewall Station in Second Ward. After funneling them in without aggression, a team of CEU officers marched down Brevard Street and began pummeling protesters with pepper balls, offering them little chance to escape.

The incident was caught on Queen City Nerve’s Facebook Live stream, in which Nerve publisher Justin LaFrancois was caught in PHOTO BY JOSHUA GALLOWAY

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NEWS & OPINION COLUMN

widespread racial restrictions in property deeds, stating in many of the deeds, “This lot shall be owned and occupied by people of the Caucasian race only.”

In the early 20th century, John Nolen specifically designed Myers Park’s curved streets to disorient unwanted guests and send them right back from whence they came, but on Monday, June 1, 2020, Ottley and about 1,500 of her supporters wouldn’t be turned away. They marched through the neighborhood for around two and a half hours, led at times by Carolina Panthers defensive players Shaq

protest ended. “It’s like, OK, are these people going to be really pissed off and confrontational or are they going to embrace us? You don’t know what’s going to happen. Some people joined us, even the kids coming out, handing out the water, it was really, really nice. I was glad we had a lot of young people with us, because they want to be a part of what’s going on but they also don’t want to be a part of something violent.”

She added that there was still too much police presence for her liking, though the way they interacted with the crowd on Monday was markedly

the deluge and struck with multiple pepper balls.

Another video circulated online that showed the incident from a balcony in the Novel apartments above the garage.

Despite a weekend in which 107 protesters were arrested from Friday night through Monday night and dozens were injured, not to mention authoritarian threats made by President Donald Trump on Monday night in which he stated he would be deploying the military to quell protests around the country, most of the organizers Queen City Nerve spoke with were optimistic about where the movement was headed as we moved into June.

“It actually makes me hopeful,” said Florence. “You see the news and it presents it as chaos and destruction, but there’s unity amongst people who are actually coming to fight back. There’s been a massive positive response across racial lines. So going forward I think we’re still going to have to get organized, we’re going to have to plan things out and be more careful, be more responsible, but I think this is a turning point in history where people are PROTESTERS TAKE A KNEE AT THE INTERSECTION OF QUEENS ROAD AND SELWYN AVENUE ON JUNE 1. going to come together different from the interactions she witnessed on Thompson and Tre Boston. and fight against racism in a big way.”

The crowd chanted loudly, stopping at the Beatties Ford Road on Friday.

On Monday evening, while city council grilled intersection of Queens Road and Selwyn Avenue to “How police engage in black communities and Jennings about police tactics, Putney answered take a knee for nine minutes in memory of George how police engage in white communities is totally questions from local media, and Trump threatened Floyd. Throughout the march, Myers Park residents different,” Ottley said. “The tone is different, the military action against American civilians looked on from their lawns, some showing passive conversation is different, there’s a whole different before ordering the tear-gassing of protesters in support, others setting up water stations for passing level of respect. I’m like, ‘Wow, maybe if you tried Washington D.C. so he could pose for a photo-op protesters. to do that in the black community, maybe you’d get across the street from the Rose Garden, Ottley Ottley said she had received calls from concerned a better response.’ It was ridiculous [on Friday], to herself was busy leading Seeking Justice CLT’s first residents throughout the day leading up to the just be snatching people and carrying on and tearofficial protest since the death of George Floyd. protest worried that she and the people she brought gassing people. It was just ridiculous.”

Ottley’s “Justice Walk” served as the antithesis of would stir unrest in the well-to-do neighborhood, She pointed out that, earlier that Monday, police Friday night’s Beatties Ford Road protest, as she held but she was pleasantly surprised at the reception. shut down the entire SouthPark Mall and parts it in south Charlotte’s Myers Park. One of Charlotte’s “I didn’t know how we were going to be received,” of surrounding neighborhoods for a protest that oldest and wealthiest neighborhoods, Myers Park she told Queen City Nerve a couple hours after the attracted only a couple dozen people. was built in 1911 and was the first to implement

“They thought that there was going to be some action there and then they shut down that neighborhood pretty much. They protected those people but they didn’t protect Beatties Ford Road.

They had people out there [on Friday] with [AR15s] and all types of nonsense and they left that neighborhood wide open and vulnerable for those people to do whatever they wanted, and they came in and they did it,” she said, referencing the presence of heavily armed Boogaloo Boys at the Friday protest.

“If you’re going to protect some neighborhoods, you need to protect them all.”

For Ottley, the ongoing protests following George Floyd’s death remain about cultivating the movement by welcoming newcomers and teaching them why it’s important to stand against police brutality and harassment.

As for Williams, who was on the streets every night of the weekend taking tear gas, went to jail on Friday, and marched peacefully through Myers Park on Monday, she said she’s optimistic that the widespread protests will bring change, even though she’s disheartened that it had to come to this.

“I hope that black people are able to take their seats as full PHOTO BY RYAN PITKIN citizens of this country, that our rights discontinue being diminished just because of the color of our skin, that we are seen as full participants in this society, and treated as full participants in this society, not second-class citizens,” Williams said. “I’m very saddened that this is what we have to do in order to see a change.

We can’t just have a democracy where change is representative of all the people in the room, and not just the voice of a few. I wish Black people had more access to the democratic process.”

RPITKIN@QCNERVE.COM

ARTS FEATURE SOMETHING WICKED THIS WAY

Charlotte filmmakers depict beauty and horror in Appalachia

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BY LIZ LOGAN

The scene is quiet, save for the lilting instrumental music swaying in the background. An aerial shot pans the Appalachian Mountains, just above the clouds.

A creek reflects the sky overhead and a tree canopy comes into view. Shots of beauty, ambiance and peace are the goal of the artistic yet horrifying film Among Mountain Crags.

Erin and Kyle Frederick, sisters who bounce between Charlotte, Los Angeles and New York City, have together created a film that is as surprising and dark as it is lovely. Set in a nondescript town in Appalachia in an indecipherable era, this film is the result of a years-long conceptualization, a crew of just a handful and a minimal budget raised through a crowdfunding campaign on Indiegogo. Now the film has found its way to multiple film festivals where its been highly praised, and can currently be streamed on Amazon and other platforms.

As a senior at NYU studying French, with classes in acting and screenwriting, Erin began working on what would become Among Mountain Crags. Her sister, Kyle, had an undergraduate degree in art history and an MFA from the University of Southern California’s School of Cinematic Arts. After some work on what was then just a school project, Erin sent the original draft to Kyle, who began to chisel away at it with a producer’s eye.

Kyle aimed to make the film more cinematic, while keeping in mind there would be no budget for visual effects to “trick the audience,” into feeling one way or another, as she put it. There were lots of drafts, lots of back and forth, lots of workshopping, with the end goal of making a film good enough to enter the festival circuit.

To feel a bit more connected to the film and thus have a better overall understanding for filming, Kyle began to write more and add her own perspective.

Her additions to the script were colored by her own relationships and how women often deal with strangers.

Among Mountain Crags is a cautionary tale, one to leave town via mountain trails, carrying next to that’s relatable for women who have had experiences nothing, is cause enough for concern. But as the two with subtle manipulation — letting themselves meander through the mountains, the stranger’s true believe in love before finding that a hidden nature slowly begins to show, resulting in side exists beneath a charming a sinister shift from what the film facade. initially leads you to believe WOMEN Protagonist Coralie is a tale of growth, Whitt, played by redemption and love.

HAVE Erin, is a teacher What’s scary COMPLETELY in her small about this movie mountain town. (aside from, DIFFERENT The handful you know, EXPERIENCES THAN of school murder) is that children she it could (and MEN. WE NEED MORE teaches seem does) happen HORROR FROM A FEMALE to have little to women all respect for her, the time. Film PERSPECTIVE. revealing with and television -Erin Frederick, writer, snide remarks promote the tired h e av y - we i g h i n g view that women Among Mountain family secrets. When a long only for love and, Crags mysterious stranger comes as women, when faced with through town, Coralie is drawn to this ever-repeating plot line in him, eventually deciding to leave with him books, on screen and in societal pressures on foot to begin their lives together. expressed in the, “So are you seeing anyone?” probes That the two meet and almost instantly decide that are repeated throughout a lifelong cycle, it’s no

KYLE AND ERIN FREDERICK (LEFT TO RIGHT) PHOTO BY STEVE NAYLOR

wonder some can become too quick to trust.

The scant dialogue in this film is in the same vein as Blow the Man Down, another female-forward story about seemingly safe men taking advantage of young women — though the twists are quite different. This stylistic choice to let the story tell itself, guided by a haunting soundtrack, was intended to give the viewer a chance to become entranced alongside Coralie, lending itself to the sinking reality that women are taught to follow men before their own instincts.

“Women have completely different experiences than men,” Erin said. “We need more horror from a female perspective. The beauty of the whole project is that no one knows it’s a thriller. It’s supposed to be dreamy and painterly, which are not typical stylistic choices for horror.”

If I’m going to sit down and watch a movie— which, let’s face it, is far more commonplace now than it may have been in, say, February— I’m going to skip right over horror every time. I have no space in my life for nightmares. And yet, for the sake of research, I logged into Amazon and sat in the brightness of day to watch their final product.

I’ve known Kyle and Erin for awhile, which is likely the only reason I broke my self-imposed mandate against horror films to watch their flick. They are both incredibly hilarious and well-versed in thirdwave coffee, having each had stints managing the Charlotte chain Not Just Coffee. Between the two of them, they’ve managed to follow their goals to fruition: create a film, promote their work and make a few jumps in the indie film festival circuit.

It’s shocking to see two quiet, intensely stylish women producing intentional, low-budget horror.

As a society, we’ve still got this idea that horror is a man’s genre, which certainly played a role in Erin’s original choice to veer in this direction and Kyle’s choice to produce.

“I’d seen men do it,” Kyle said of leaving her job in Charlotte to pursue directing on the West Coast, “and not just in horror. They’d work on short films and move on to features, but in L.A., this seems to only work for men. So why is it not happening for women?”

Kyle posed this question almost rhetorically, but subtly challenges it through her own work, making it happen for herself even when surrounded primarily by male colleagues in a male-dominated field. Kyle started her journey in a small class of about 50 aspiring filmmakers, only six of whom were women. It was easy to see how blatantly disproportionate the representation was from the get-go.

Despite their deep awareness that they were few among many, Kyle and Erin were not hell-bent

ARTS FEATURE

to provide the vibe and tone they were going for.

He began sending melodies he’d created separate for each character. They then worked with a North on making Among Mountain Crags a female-driven Carolina-based sound designer to tie it all together. story with female-driven crew (their third sister And then the two were ready to submit for became an intense boom operator). They did not festivals.

distribution, which set them up on platforms such as Amazon Prime. The film is also available on YouTube for a humble $1.99.

“We’ve had great responses so far. For us, streaming was the best fit,” Kyle said. “We felt it most important to reach people who would resonate with

the film. We want to get it in front of as many people as possible and people are watching it multiple times.

“Although,” Kyle added, “we have no idea what the analytics actually are at this point.”

The obvious question here is, what’s next? To see a film from inception over the course of many years has been incredibly satisfying, the duo says. As of now, they simply hope to push their film farther internationally, banking on the universal theme the film conveys.

The two do have a few things up their sleeves.

They’re currently planning some projects apart from one another, so don’t expect them to become the next Coen brothers. Kyle is writing a dystopian fiction while Erin is delving into sci-fi.

Erin is looking to dive more into the acting field, while admitting that it’s “hard to wrap my head around what’s possible this next year,” given the unsure state of things surrounding COVID-19. Though if there’s one thing the virus has ensured for our future, it’s that dystopian sci-fi won’t be far from everyone’s mind moving forward.

INFO@QCNERVE.COM

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A STILL FROM ‘AMONG MOUNTAIN CRAGS.’

want to make a female film for the sake of making a female film.

“I didn’t want to be a good female film maker,” Erin said. “I just wanted to be a good filmmaker.”

Kyle and Erin wanted to produce a movie people wanted to see, something that would resonate with a specific crowd. They wanted to tell a story so many are unfortunately familiar with.

After the two finalized their screenplay, held auditions and secured “found locations,” they began filming in the North Carolina mountains and parts of West Virginia. The scenes take place in locations that were set up as-is — how they look in the film is how they look in real life, including a portion shot in a coal-mining museum. Over the course of 18 days, the crew became like a tight-knit family, weaving a film together on little funds.

The editing process was stretched across the country, with Kyle’s colleague working on editing from L.A., and color design coming from Company 3 (which is, as Kyle said, “a big deal in the color correction world”).

Back in North Carolina, Charlotte’s own Tanner Morita (of Hex Coffee) created the instrumental soundtrack. The Fredericks provided Morita with picture-locked still shots and other soundtracks

CINEMATOGRAPHY BY MICHAEL PATRICK O’LEARY

In 2018, the film was selected among a handful of others for the Montana Film Festival (MFF). The mountain setting was a perfect fit for MFF, which ran other similar films similar, among those were Little Woods as well as Wildfire, a film starring Carrie Mulligan and Jake Gyllenhaal, each dark and heavy in their own rite.

The feedback for Among Mountain Crags was consistent: beautiful, haunting. A reviewer from the Montana Film Festival had this to say: “Although Among Mountain Crags was more than likely conceived before the #MeToo Movement had its moment, it seems like a thriller for our times and with a lot to say about feminism, the patriarchy, and sexual abuse/assault. At the same time, it’s a classic suspense tale that leans on the spooky mood and ambiance of Appalachia while clocking in at just over an hour.”

Two other festivals screened the film, including our city’s own Charlotte Film Festival. The Fredericks wanted to see the movie come full circle — to be shown on the big screen in a town they’d at various times called home.

The siblings soon met Shawn Flannigan, a film distribution rep that works specifically with independent filmmakers, and began working with him. With his help, they landed with Indie Rights film

MUSIC FEATURE THE BOLD AND THE VIRTUAL Local company keeps the music alive online

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BY PAT MORAN

In the opening of a Facebook video for Junior Jammers, a virtual preschool music program conducted via Zoom, Bold Music Lessons instructor Tracey Bengough strums a ukulele and encourages the class to warm up their voices. Fellow teacher Catherine Sentigar joins in as the children prepare to sing solo verses of “Let It Go,” the break-out hit from Disney’s 2013 animated feature Frozen. A little blondhaired boy holds a maraca like a microphone as he sings: “Let it go, let it go Can’t hold it back anymore” A brown-haired girl repeats the chorus. Despite sporting a wide smile, the next little girl freezes and can’t get the words out. The teacher assures her that it’s okay.

“It’s very brave to do a solo,” Bengough says.

A free virtual class held every Thursday at 11 a.m., Junior Jammers is designed to jump-start each student’s musical journey at an early age, introducing children to age-appropriate skills that they will benefit from throughout lives, according to Bold Music Lessons’ website.

It’s just one of several programs -- including open mics, gig nights, summer camps and home collaborations -- offered by the music instruction company Dean Williams and George Ramsay launched in 2013.

The two were both Davidson College students giving lessons at a local music store. Both had notes on how the business could run better. Namely, they agreed on the notion that a music school doesn’t need a physical space; teachers could go to people’s houses to give lessons.

“The main idea was to bring convenience to people rather than have another thing to drive yourself or your kid to,” Ramsay says, adding that the idea is far from revolutionary. What is innovative is Bold Music Lessons’ total commitment to the idea, he feels.

Although the music academy without a campus has recently pivoted from in-home lessons to virtual sessions in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic, Bold

Music Lessons’ focus has not changed, says Ramsay, a 29-year-old guitarist, bassist, cellist and classically trained pianist who majored in music at Davidson College.

“Everything that we do, even after going virtual for the time being, is very hands-on [and] high-touch,” he offers. “[Classes] are equal parts learning music and expressing your creativity with your teacher.”

In a community living in the shadow of the novel coronavirus, Ramsay sees the company as providing a service for both clients and instructors.

With most gigs gone, Bold Music Lessons is one of the few lifelines offered to Charlottearea musicians. Ramsay hopes to provide a memorable experience for instructors as well as their students.

It’s interesting work, and high-paying too, he maintains.

“Compared to other teaching studios, our pay rate is significantly higher -- often double -- for our teachers,” Ramsay says. “Paying our staff as much as we possibly can has always been a priority, and our entire business model has been set up to achieve this.”

Ramsay estimates that the company’s clientele is 80% kids and 20% adults. Prior to the pandemic and the resulting stay-at-home orders, teachers traveled to their students’ homes. The one-on-one aspect of the lessons has been a big draw for musicians like Payton Harkins, a University of North Carolina School of the Arts Winston-Salem graduate who teaches guitar, piano and bass for the company.

“It’s the thing that makes them different from competitors,” Harkins asserts. “[In-home lessons] are more personal. They attract a more dedicated student who practices more regularly, [and] who takes more lessons for a longer period of time.”

Instructor Matthew Johnson graduated from Winthrop University with a degree in guitar performance. He was drawn to Bold Music Lessons because of the company’s empathy for their teachers.

As a musician, Ramsay gets other musicians, Johnson believes.

“They really seem to be for the teachers and George is such an easy guy to work with,” Johnson offers. “He’s 100% got our backs.”

For their part, Bold Music Lessons has applied painstaking criteria to acquiring teachers.

“There’s not one background we’re looking for in a teacher, because every student learns differently and every musician has come into their own and become an expert in a different way,” Ramsay says. While

GEORGE RAMSAY POSES WITH A STUDENT.

instructors like Harkins hold impressive degrees, other teachers are seasoned pros with no technical education, just experience as players who started gigging fresh out of high school and have gone on to tour and score record deals. The ability to teach and connect with students is just as important as mastery of an instrument, Ramsay adds.

On the other side of the equation, prospective students are interviewed to determine the best way they learn, their level of experience and their musical interests.

“[We provide] a matchmaking service for musicians and students,” Ramsay maintains. “It’s definitely not something like Uber where you just sign up on an app.”

The result has been a diverse roster of music instructors with a broad array of specialties and experience, ranging from jazz- and lullaby-inflected singer songwriter Emily Sage to classically trained Colombian pianist and singer Andres David Cruz Gomez.

Providing quality instruction for students and plenty of work for musicians has paid off. The song the Junior Jammers sang could just as well have been titled “Let It Grow.”

In Charlotte, Bold Music Lessons boasts a roster of 25 teachers serving 350 students. Last March, the company expanded, adding a Raleigh branch that has signed up five teachers.

Unfortunately, the expansion came right on the cusp of North Carolina’s shut down. While a Raleigh branch is still on the company’s radar, opening in the state’s capital city has been placed on the back burner. Other than that, Bold Music Lessons’ transition to a music market still under quarantine has been remarkably smooth.

“It was simply luck,” Ramsay says.

Prior to the COVID-induced shut-down, business was booming, he recalls. Instructors were getting all the clients they could handle and more says instructor Jason Jones, who performs and records as R&B artist Jason Jet. “At one point they were able to get me up to 25 clients at one time,” he says. But a generous number of students also meant a great deal of driving, with Jones hitting the road to meet with people in Matthews, Waxhaw and beyond.

Though Jones decided to scale back on his course load to devote more time to working on a studio he’s planning to open this summer, he still maintains a roster of virtual students — a mix of his own longtime clients and those he connects with through Bold Music Lessons.

Johnson’s clientele was also in the double digits.

“I had 21 students,” Johnson remembers. “It was pretty full, especially because I had to drive to their

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MUSIC FEATURE

contend with income from lost live gigs.

After the pandemic, will the company ever go back to primarily in-home instruction? Ramsay says houses.” it’s up to the teachers.

Then last March, the world changed.

“If a family wants to go back to in-home lessons “I’m not paranoid or hysterical but my dad’s a tomorrow, it really is up to the teacher as to whether doctor and I was hearing things [about COVID-19] or not they’re comfortable,” Ramsay maintains. That early on,” Ramsay recalls. “We were monitoring the said, many clients are discovering that they prefer situation as far back as December and January.” video instruction. It’s slightly cheaper than in-home When the time came to go full-on virtual, Bold Music Lessons was ready, though Ramsay maintains it was a fluke of good fortune.

Last fall, with its instructors carrying full workloads, the company was in a quandary about how to schedule make-up lessons. As teachers got busier and busier, it’s became harder to accommodate students who missed or canceled lessons and to reschedule teachers to come back to their home.

“We didn’t want to say, ‘You can’t reschedule,’ but finding a time for me to go back to your house if you live in Fort Mill and I live in Myers Park is a pretty big ask,” explains Ramsay. So, the company started testing make-up lessons via video. “If not for a video solution, the end result would probably be that the [rescheduled] lesson wouldn’t happen at all.”

By February, Bold Music Lessons was working out the kinks in their video system while training their teachers how to use it to present effective video instruction. February turned out to be a month of severe storms, a situation that also played into the company’s hands.

TAKING LESSONS FROM HOME. “Pretty much all of our teachers through February had some serious cancellations, and they had to start visits, because driving costs are not factored into the doing the video make-up lessons,” Ramsay recalls. In price tag, and parents are finding that their children March, when it became clear that the pandemic was are still receiving plenty of care and attention. getting worse, Bold Music Lessons put their teachers Bold Music Lessons has validated the effectiveness on notice that they were going to switch to video and efficiency of video instruction, Ramsay believes. when needed.

He guesses that most clients may take a hybrid On March 14, Ramsay was driving back from a approach in the future, virtual lessons augmented wedding gig in South Carolina and got on the phone with the occasional in-house visit. with Williams. On March 15 they agreed to teach “At the end of the day we want to keep our exclusively online. teachers busy,” Ramsay contends. “Musicians are “We got the email on Sunday night and it was one getting slammed by all of this. Our number one of the easiest transitions ever,” Harkins remembers. priority right now is to keep them working.” He The students, parents and teachers were immediately feels the company can best benefit musicians, and onboard, and there were few if any hiccups, he themselves, by broadening their online offerings. maintains. “It was oddly perfect.”

Video lessons aside, Bold Music Lessons has Johnson says that only five or six students focused on fostering connection and a sense of dropped out due to the video transition. He says he’s community for their teachers and students in other impressed with how smoothly Ramsay was able to ways. The lockdown has curtailed some of their keep instructors working. special programs, such as Gig Night.

“Out of all the jobs that coronavirus affected, you “It’s a great opportunity for musicians to showcase would think musician would be pretty high up there what they’re doing,” Jones says of the live events that with many not being able to work at all,” Johnson were staged every quarter on Saturday and Sunday offers. He counts himself fortunate, only having to nights at Heist Brewery.

“It’s a ton of fun,” Ramsay offers. “It’s a tangible event that students can work toward. It’s always good to have deadlines.”

With live events at breweries off the table, the company has devised a workaround with Collaboration From Home, a recurring event that began last April. It pulls the Bold community together through virtual technology to craft and record a cover version of an iconic song.

Bold Music Summer Camp, will move the company out of virtual space into the real world, Ramsay promises.

For the past six years, the week-long summer camp has been comprised of small groups of 10 to 12 kids in four age-specific groups: middle school for two groups and high school for two others. The groups would then work and learn at Charlotte musician and producer Jason Scavone’s Sioux Sioux Studios.

This June, Sioux Sioux is still in the mix, but the camp will also be a bit more structured, Ramsay says. He promises a more robust plan with activities, a songwriting workshop and a performance element that the program didn’t have before. Monday through Wednesday, campers will experience writing and performing at the Evening Muse in NoDa. On Thursday and Friday, they will learn the ropes of recording their own music at Sioux Sioux.

Ramsay calls the camp sessions “live with an asterisk.” If campers don’t want to come into the studio, they can still record their parts from home, he says. In addition, the camp will stagger studio time, bringing campers and teachers in one by one.

Students can also video commute to the Evening Muse if they don’t feel comfortable in a group, Ramsay maintains. The campers and musicians who do come to the venue are in small enough numbers that social distancing ALL PHOTOS COURTESY OF BOLD MUSIC LESSONS will be no problem, he says. Temperature checks will be done at both locations.

“We are leveraging technology to build and “We’re ready to offer people this experience,” curate an engaged community,” Ramsay says. April’s Ramsay insists. offering, a rendition of Elton John’s “Your Song,” was Ramsay contends that all these efforts go back performed and produced by teachers as a sort of test to the importance of teaching people how to make case for the concept. May brought together 25 to 30 music. students, teachers and friends for a take on the O’Jays From a developmental standpoint, children R&B standard “Love Train.” Next up on June 5 is a who learn music from a young age do better than rendition of Tears For Fears’“Everybody Wants to Rule otherwise, he offers. Learning music also teaches you the World.” discipline and refines motor skills. In addition, Ramsay The song choice has been determined by a extols the virtues of learning new skills. He maintains number of questions; Ramsay offers. What’s a song that he’s a good enough bass player, but no virtuoso. that everyone knows? Will it be interesting musically Even so, he would never give up playing music with but not too hard for students to play? BML’s staff was other musicians. also thinking about songs that would reflect the state “What has always kept me interested and of the world when they recorded them. engaged with music is its social prospects,” Ramsay “’Your Song’ was a beautiful thing for everyone says. “Some of the greatest people I’ve met in my life, to enjoy because we’re all kind of sad and anxious,” I’ve met through music. Some of the best experiences Ramsay related. While “Love Train” was just an I’ve had have come through music. Being able to play opportunity to have fun, “Everybody Wants to Rule music with other people is one of the greatest gifts the World” felt right because Ramsay believes we’re there is.” all feeling a little bit defiant after being cooped up in PMORAN@QCNERVE.COM quarantine.

Starting on June 15, the company’s next project,

FOOD & DRINK FEATURE WHERE’S THE FRY?

Popular food truck keeps rubber on the road during the quarantine

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BY LILLIAN TAYLOR

Things began to look up when several of their regular customers began to miss that WTF lunch break while working from home. One customer called up the guys to ask if they could stop by and cook up lunch, promising that their neighbors would be hungry too and it would be worth their while.

Then another called … and another.

“It was like a domino effect with neighborhoods contacting us,” Barnes says. “The word just started spreading.”

From the jump, the crew implemented health and safety protocols and precautions so they could continue their business without fear of adding to the problem. They inducted regular cleaning procedures, acquired enough staff members to get food out quicker.

They condensed their menu and utilized online ordering through the Toast app so customers would not have to stand outside in line and began hitting apartment complexes around Charlotte.

On March 17, when Gov. Roy Cooper announced that all restaurants would have to shut down dinein operations due to the growing threat of the novel coronavirus COVID-19, things quickly became dire for the food industry in our state. In one rapidly growing sector of the industry, however, things were less clear; what would happen to food trucks?

Of course, food trucks don’t have dining rooms, so their operations weren’t affected by the governor’s order. Yet just a week later, when Mecklenburg County Public Health announced that a new stay-at-home order would be going into effect on March 26, things became a lot more dicey. After all, how could a business that survives on foot traffic and mass gatherings get by in a world where office buildings are closed and no more than nine people are allowed to get together? “At first I was nervous,” recalls Greg Williams, co-founder of the popular Charlotte-based food truck What the Fries.

“I was thinking we were going to be done, not necessarily done for good, but I didn’t know what was going to happen.”

A large percentage of WTF revenue came from setting up shop outside of call centers and office buildings, where the employees expected them and they could rely on a steady flow of hungry workers.

And yet all of those spots were shut down as part of the stay-at-home order.

“It would have been a long time before we could go back to work,”Williams says.

Williams and his co-founder Jamie Barnes discussed pausing the business, GREG WILLIAMS (LEFT) AND JAMIE BARNES. as they couldn’t be expected to revamp If someone was taken by surprise at seeing one their whole business model in weeks, seeking out customers at a time when everyone was hunkered of Charlotte’s most popular food trucks parked on their street and wanted to order right there on the down at home. spot, they were ready for that too. The team parked Or could they?

in front of empty fields and closed-down parking lots, Their ability to adapt and overcome will be no where people would have no issue with social surprise to those who are familiar with the distancing. drive they have shown in developing By late May, Barnes says What the Fries into a successful “AT the company had already venture over the last five FIRST I WAS seen a 20% increase years. in sales compared to The relationship NERVOUS. I WAS April. But they weren’t between these two THINKING WE WERE just going to stand entrepreneurs began by and congratulate in 2004, when they GOING TO BE DONE.” themselves for a roomed together -Greg Williams, co-founder, successful pivot at Johnson & Wales while others University. Both had What the Fries continued to struggle become interested with the COVID crisis. in the food industry They partnered with and began working in the Red Hill Ventures, a local realrestaurant industry at the turn estate investment and technology of the century. firm that owns several local multi-family After each spending years working in complexes, to bring a special kids menu to the different Charlotte-area kitchens, the duo decided to come together and strike out on their own.

“We kind of got tired working for everybody else,” Williams says. “We wanted to see something else and do our own thing.”

They got that chance through the popular television series The Great Food Truck Race, which launched on the Food Network in 2010. The show, which began its 12th season in March, challenges chefs to leave their traditional restaurants behind and try out the life of owning a food truck. The show gives eight chosen chefs “the chance to embark on a coastto-coast journey in gourmet food trucks to convince Americans to step out of their food comfort zones and try something new,” according to its website.

Being big fans of the show, Barnes and Williams signed up to compete.

The producers called back a month later showing interest in the pair’s concept, a menu packed with gourmet French fry dishes, house-made tots and other adventurous options. After another month of discussions, the two made it into the final pool of 10 potential contestants, but didn’t make the last cut of eight.

PHOTO COURTESY OF WHAT THE FRIES Yet still, the fire was lit. Even though the two rising chefs didn’t make it onto children living in their apartment communities and their favorite television show, they still held onto their serve meals to the kids for free. They also hosted ambition and persevered, deciding to move ahead fundraising opportunities on Facebook and Instagram with What the Fries anyway. for people to pledge meals to essential employees.

“We ended up sticking with the idea and we just

FOOD & DRINK FEATURE wanted to make it happen”, says Barnes.

The two started in 2014 as a catering company, while still participating in culinary programs that would shine a light on their ever-evolving idea. They partnered with Coca-Cola to do a four-city food tour that year, hitting Charleston, Charlotte, Maryland, and Washington, D.C. to share their cooking experiences.

While developing their business model, Williams and Barnes purchased a FedEx truck for $3,000 and built it out, launching it as the first What the Fries food truck in August 2015.

Over the last five years, the team has built out a menu of mouth-watering French-fry dishes that need no “main course” to go with them. Those include the shrimp and steak hibachi fries, with sautéed shrimp and steak, bok choy, carrots, scallions atop hand-cut fries with Yum-Yum sauce, the food truck’s exclusively made secret house-made sauce. There’s also the lobster mac and cheese fries, with lobster, cavatappi pasta, boursin cheese sauce, Gouda cheese, Asiago cheese and parsley atop hand-cut fries.

There are also the seasoned house-made tots (or The Undecided, which features half tots and half fries for the indecisive) and the bread pudding tops that

rotate weekly but in the past have included toppings you’re super indecisive, The Undecided lets you go half like salted caramel, pecan pie, strawberry cheesecake French fries and half house-made tots -- all the way and red velvet cake. seasoned.

In 2016, Jamie and Gregory helped found the Soul Food Sessions Dinner Series, creating diverse dining experiences that reflect diverse culinary specialties with an African twist, in an effort to acknowledge and support people of color in the culinary arts, restaurant, beverage services and hospitality industries.

The two built their brand on social media, and were helped along by an appearance on the second season premiere of Southern and Hungry, a Cooking Channel show hosted by culinary expert Damaris HOT FRIES Phillips and auto racing PHOTO COURTESY OF WHAT THE FRIES analyst Rutledge Wood.

The truck also offers up your more expected lunch “I think that really brought us attention,” says fare, such as chicken sandwiches and burgers, and if Williams.

NOW OPEN FOR TAKE-OUT & DELIVERY! DELIVERY AVAILABLE THRU DOORDASH & GRUBHUB

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HOURS OF OPERATION Tuesday-Thursday, Saturday: 3pm - 8pm Friday: 12 pm - 8 pm ( 7 0 4 ) 9 6 9 - 2 5 5 0 | L A B E L L E H E L E N E R E S TA U R A N T. C O M

300 S TRYON ST, CHARLOTTE, NC

As much as their life on the road saved them from the stresses of shutting down a dining room during COVID, Barnes and Williams wish to eventually open their own brick-and-mortar restaurant. Until that happens, however, they say they’ll continue to play it by ear, adapting to the unprecedented experience that is working in the food industry in 2020.

When I ask what advice they would give young people today who are trying to pursue a dream, Barnes emphasizes that it never hurts to ask for help.

“You have to have a plan that will help you stick out,” he says. “But also, have someone to reach out to; have someone you can always look to, someone who you can lean on for advice”.

Barnes and Williams continue to host events and provide for those around Charlotte despite the circumstances, and they look forward to running a new Food Truck Friday once mass gatherings are safe again.

Until then, they’ll be working hard and snacking on their own favorites from the truck: chicken sandwiches for Barnes and bread puddings for Williams. That’s right, the guys who started a whole food truck based on French fries would rather eat the other stuff. WTF? INFO@QCNERVE.COM

THE OUTBREAK OF CORONAVIRUS DISEASE 2019 (COVID-19) MAY BE STRESSFUL FOR PEOPLE. FEAR AND ANXIETY ABOUT A DISEASE CAN BE OVERWHELMING AND CAUSE STRONG EMOTIONS IN ADULTS AND CHILDREN. COPING WITH STRESS WILL MAKE YOU, THE PEOPLE YOU CARE ABOUT, AND YOUR COMMUNITY STRONGER. EVERYONE REACTS DIFFERENTLY TO STRESSFUL SITUATIONS. HOW YOU RESPOND TO THE OUTBREAK CAN DEPEND ON YOUR BACKGROUND, THE THINGS THAT MAKE YOU DIFFERENT FROM OTHER PEOPLE, AND THE COMMUNITY YOU LIVE IN.

 -Fear and worry about your own health and the health of your loved ones -Changes in sleep or eating patterns -Difficulty sleeping or concentrating -Worsening of chronic health problems -Increased use of alcohol, tobacco, or other drugs

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-Make time to unwind. Try to do some other activities you enjoy.

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ONLINE THERAPY OPTIONS

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A nonprofit that connects people with private practice therapists that choose to participate.

Digital therapy is available for a $59 membership tinyurl.com/opcollective Pg. 16 JUNE 3 - JUNE 16, 2020 - QCNERVE.COM

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A DOSE OF VIRTUAL REALITY

People have always relied on our Lifeline and Soundwave to give them ideas on what to do. We like to say there’s no excuse to stay at home, but now that’s not the case. However, there are still plenty of things to do from the comfort of your couch, and we’ve compiled a few ideas to help you pass the time.

CHILDREN’S THEATRE SUMMER CAMPS

What: Children’s Theatre of Charlotte’s summer camps are still a go; they’ve just moved online.

Primary Camps for K-2nd grade help kids develop primary acting chops with a sprinkling of additional dance, music and art activities. For 3rd-6th grade, Performance Camps teach campers to create characters and stories with their own scripted scenes and monologues. Lightning strikes and thunber rumbles for the Teen Studio Radio Play, where campers create a spine-chilling adaptation of Frankenstein, incorporating live sound effects like an old-time radio drama. All camps meet via Zoom and include performance showcases.

More: $149; June 19-26; ctcharlotte.org/Online

THE CURRENT

What: Charlotte New Music presents its weekly show The Current: Classical to Contemporary & Beyond every Tuesday night. Each live show features a mix of local and nationally recognized musicians and composers working in fields ranging from classical to contemporary and beyond. Three amazing guitarists - David Torn, Troy Conn and Dom - are on deck for June 9. The audience is encouraged to participate with ongoing chat and Q&A sessions.

More: Free; June 9 & 16, 8 p.m.; tinyurl.com/TheCurrentCLT

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SAPPY HOUR WITH NIC ROBINSON

What: Petra’s continues its popular pairing of virtual music and digital mixology lesson with Sappy Hour. Nic Robinson of The Business People plays his brand of melodic muscular alt rock, and the featured cocktail is the Pomegranate Margarita, one of the most popular drinks on Petra’s menu. Sip away while swingin’ to the songs. Donations are not required but would be deeply appreciated.

More: Venmo: @nichospaceace; June 8, 6 p.m.; tinyurl.com/SappyHour

QUEEN CITY TELETHON-ROOFTOP DRIVE-IN CONCERT

What: Three businesses — Hattie’s Tap & Tavern, Abari Game Bar and Tommy’s Pub — have banded together with Four Finger Records to throw one amazing drive-in concert. The show, limited to 35 cars, will feature rooftop performances by Solis, Petrov and more. Proceeds go to the participating bands and bars, and the accompanying livestream offers raffles and other fundraising efforts.

More: $40 per car; June 13, 3:30 p.m.; Abari Game Bar, 1721 N. Davidson; tinyurl.com/QCTele

DRIVE-IN NIGHTS AT CHARLOTTE MOTOR SPEEDWAY

What: The last time I was at the drive-in, my friend Lori fell off the playground’s swing set, we all drank too much beer, and the feature was the 1983 misfire Stoker Ace, a purported comedy where Burt Reynolds drives a race car dressed as a chicken. At least it was shot at Charlotte Motor Speedway. But that was then. Nowadays CLT Motor Speedway hosts two family-friendly movie nights featuring the animated smash Despicable Me on Saturday, and Soul Surfer, a faith-based biopic about a surfer who survives a shark attack, on Sunday. Of the $100 per car fee, $70 goes to support the recovery programs at Charlotte Rescue Mission.

More: $100 per car; June 6, 6 p.m. & June 7, 6 p.m.; Charlotte Motor Speedway, 5555 Concord Pkwy S., Concord; tinyurl.com/CMSDriveIn

GOODYEAR ARTS ‘JOYRIDE’

What: Goodyear Arts bridges the gap between virtual happening and face-to-face experiences with a drivethru art and performance show. audience members will cruise through Camp North End’s sprawling warren of streets, encountering dance pieces, poetry readings, live music, theater performances and films projected on warehouse walls — all from the comfort and safety of their cars.

More: June 6 & 7; Camp North End, 1824 Statesville Ave.; www.goodyeararts.com/joyride

‘AMERICAN TRIAL’

What: As the Charlotte Film Society rejuvenates their Virtual Screening Room collection of foreign and indie art films that you can’t see anywhere else, one of their new movies feels particularly relevant in the wake of George Floyd’s murder at the hands of a Minneapolis police officer. American Trial: The Eric Garner Story is an unscripted courtroom drama that imagines a criminal trial that never happened — one against the police officer who choked Garner to death in 2014. The audience is the jury, providing a verdict that Garner’s family never had the chance to hear.

More: $12 for 48 hours; charlottefilmsociety.com

XOXOK: ‘RIGHT ON’

What: XOXOK, otherwise known as North Carolina musician Keenan Jenkins, released his latest single in late May, but “Right On” is likely to remain vital and thought-provoking for years to come. With plangent guitars, crystalline keyboards and his smooth and soaring vocals, Jenkins laments a life — and light — gone out. In 2016, the day after he defended his doctoral dissertation at the University of North Carolina, Jenkins learned that Philando Castile was shot and killed by a Minnesota police officer and the news evoked feelings of anger, helplessness and grief. “I wrote this song as a reminder that my education is not a shield, and that I could be next,” Jenkins wrote. All these emotions and more are contained in this lilting, spiritual and haunting R&B PHANTOM FRIENDS: ‘ONE DRUG’ What: Charlotte rock band Phantom Friends has tune. always drawn on jazz, funk and progressive rock; More: tinyurl.com/XOXOKRightOn and all these influences are brought to bear on the latest single “One Drug,” a swinging slice of melodic MARC REBILLET: DRIVE-IN TOUR alt rock that pack a serious, and ultimately uplifting, What: Normally it’s not a big deal when a national message. With a filmed-in-quarantine music video electronic music artist comes rolling through completed in late May to coincide with the single’s town. But these are not normal times, so literally release, the song tackles anxiety, depression and anyone playing any venue is a big deal. How does overcoming addiction with an easy assuredness. Marc Rebillet do it? The secret lies in the venues This is a rarity: adult-themed rock that remains vital he chooses. The artist best known for layering and surprising. humorous improvised vocals over tracks composed More: tinyurl.com/PhantomOneDrug on a loop station, keyboards and percussion, is

CONNECTED ART WORKSHOP: FURRY FRIENDS

What: Really, love is all our animals want. Okay, they also want food, water, attention, playtime, walks and the opportunity to bite our toes and run away. But underpinning it all is uncritical love. Now kids can immortalize their close and furry friends with art. Instructor Molly Partyka shows kids how to personalize their pets step-by-step. Pre-K-2nd graders will learn to draw textured fur and unique details for collars and tags on top of the basic lines and shapes that form dogs, cats and bunnies.

More: $20-25; June 10, 10 a.m.; tinyurl.com/ McCollFurryFriends

undertaking a drive-in only tour. The tour brings him to Hounds Drive-in in Kings Mountain, where his set should fit in nicely with the venue’s diet of retro family flicks and R-rated horror movies.

More: Sold out; June 11, 8 p.m.; Hounds Drive-In, 114 Raven Circle, Kings Mountain; iwannahotbox. com; nightout.com/events/marc-rebillet-drive-intour-charlotte-nc-june-11/tickets

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LIFESTYLE PUZZLES

LIFESTYLE PUZZLES SUDOKU

BY LINDA THISTLE

PLACE A NUMBER IN THE EMPTY BOXES IN SUCH A WAY THAT EACH ROW ACROSS, EACH COLUMN DOWN AND EACH SMALL 9-BOX SQUARE CONTAINS ALL OF THE NUMBERS ONE TO NINE. ©2020 King Feautres Syndicate, Inc. All rights reserved.

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PG.18 PUZZLE ANSWERS

TRIVIA TEST

BY FIFI RODRIGUEZ

1. HISTORY: Who was the first to sign the Declaration of Independence?

2. MOVIES: Which dwarf wore glasses in Disney’s “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs”?

3. MEASUREMENTS: How many years are in a millennium?

4. FAMOUS QUOTATIONS: Which stand-up comedian once said, “There are two seasons in Scotland: June and winter”?

5. GEOGRAPHY: Which country is home to Mount Kilimanjaro?

6. MEDICAL: What is the common condition known as “muscae volitantes”?

7. GENERAL KNOWLEDGE: Which university’s athletic teams are known as the Ducks?

8. MUSIC: Which singer/ songwriter is known as the “Man in Black”?

9. MONUMENTS: Which U.S. monument is known as the Mother of Exiles?

10. TELEVISION: What was the name of Norm’s favorite restaurant in the “Cheers” sitcom?

CROSSWORD ACROSS 1 “Alto Rhapsody” composer 7 Amount of medication 11 Very close pals, briefly 15 Lay away 19 Handbook 20 Among other things, in Latin 22 A, in Austria 23 Start of a riddle 25 With the stroke of 26 Busily engaged 27 Actress O’Grady 28 Actor Baio 29 Riddle, part 2 37 Brain part 38 Vends again 39 New York port on Lake Ontario 40 Some weather lines 44 Untold millennia 45 Gallery works 46 Frat.’s counterpart 47 Riddle, part 3 53 Epitomize 54 Volcano outflow 55 Waikiki whereabouts 58 Coll. e-mail ending 61 Coyote kin 62 Stopped sleeping 64 Actress Dana 66 Truckload 67 Riddle, part 4 70 Kid’s “It” game 71 Four-time Indy 500 winner 73 Supreme Court justice Sotomayor 74 Get-out-of-jail fee 75 Metal-bearing rock

76 Tarnish 77 - vu 78 Mortar and 80 Riddle, part 5 88 Mo. no. 10 90 I-10, e.g.

91 - mater (brain cover) 92 Smears with holy oil 93 Engender 95 In dire 99 Songstress Eartha 100 End of the riddle 105 Wise words 106 Mr. Spock’s pointy pair 107 Flood figure 108 Feeling, informally 109 Riddle’s answer 117 “- do in a pinch” 118 Desirous of equaling someone else 119 Advanced to the starting point, as a tape 120 Floor votes 121 “Fat chance” 122 Deleted, with “out” 123 Salsa brand DOWN 1 German car 2 Yell of cheer 3 California’s Santa 4 Castaway’s shelter 5 Irked with 6 Sluggish mammal 7 One trying to lose weight 8 Yoko of music 9 Big inits. in fuel additives 10 Elver, e.g.

11 Lauren of “Key Largo” 12 Natural talents 13 Daughter, in Dijon 14 Paradise of “On the Road” 15 Manatee or dugong 16 Praise with a cap motion 17 “Just the last item is left” 18 Tried to get 21 Kingly 24 Snapshot, for short 28 Blues singer - Monica Parker 29 Stepped off 30 Little snack 31 Wind instrument 32 Prove false 33 Indigent 34 General - chicken 35 Monopoly card statistic 36 Spear 41 Nonetheless 42 Detach, as a book page 43 Clown prop 45 Flat - board 48 Radiates 49 Hawaii “hi” 50 Tolerate 51 50-50 gamble 52 Cheat 56 Use one’s 106-Across 57 Impulse 58 Guesses at JFK 59 Judo hall 60 Too large to be strained, maybe 62 Former UN leader Kofi 63 Doughboys’ conflict: Abbr.

64 Bleach 65 Shout at

FALL NICKNAME ©2020 King Feautres Syndicate, Inc. All rights reserved.

68 Magic hex 69 Actress Smith of Tyler Perry films 72 Bullfight holler 77 Passing grade, barely 78 Greek philosopher 79 Slezak or Eleniak 81 Shaw playing a clarinet 82 Powerful car engine 83 On - (of equal value) 84 Nero’s 53 85 Faithful wife of Geraint 86 Suffix with bachelor 87 Booming jets of old 88 Nero’s wife 89 Crassness 94 Winged ones in heaven 95 Absorb 96 Part on a drama series, say 97 Dreadlocks wearer, often 98 Basked 101 “I love you,” in Spain 102 Sushi sauce 103 Vanzetti’s partner in anarchy 104 D-day time specification 109 Forest lair 110 Ingested 111 Mingle 112 Rd.’s cousin 113 Authorize to 114 Lofty work 115 Floor cover 116 Relaxing site

LIFESTYLE COLUMN

AERIN IT OUT GRAND OPENING

What fresh hell will Phase 2 bring upon us?

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BY AERIN SPRUILL

In spite of COVID-19, many Charlotte restaurants, bars, breweries and retailers have remained resilient and some have learned how to pivot in creative ways to sustain.

I’m so grateful that, while my friends and family have remained healthy, and my other family -- those friends in the industry -- have for the most part kept afloat.

And now, as the bars I’ve frequented (and hopefully the local economy) is on the bounce back, returning to a first stage of normalcy, I’m afraid that Phase 2 might just prove to be an episode of a new VCR box set called Charlotte Gone Wild.

I’ve got a sneak peek at some of the featured characters, but before we get to that, let’s put things in context.

On May 22, after months of isolation, the most stir crazy Charlotteans were granted their wish as North Carolina restaurants, breweries, retail stores, salons, tattoo parlors, pools and more were allowed to open with restrictions.

Nevermind the fact that, while new regulations allow for a return to certain establishments, Phase 2 is still called “Safer at Home.”

In other words, yes, you can legally go get yo’ nails did, but stay yo’ ass home.

While some are heeding the warnings of officials to continue to follow Phase 1 restrictions, we knew that the majority of people in Charlotte were dying to scratch their isolation.

And let me tell you, they are scratching like dogs with full-blown fleas (here’s looking at you, South End).

Spend a couple hours on a brewery patio and you will see that some of our favorite characters haven’t changed one bit, and now we have a few more.

They’ve shed their hibernation skins, their inhibitions and they are out in full force.

This person has never understood the concept of personal space even before social distancing, and they damn sure aren’t making adjustments now. While staff members have taken huge measures to keep everyone safe, this person is completely blind to X’s on the floor telling them where to stand and to signs telling them to sanitize before entering.

This person says, “I’ve already had it,” or “I’m immune.” If you’ve heard this asinine comment, it translates to: “I’ve touched everything and everyone and when you’re not looking I won’t wash my hands.

But guess what? Don’t worry, I’ve already had it, I’m fine and you needn’t worry about it either.”

After a few drinks, they’ll inevitably reel you into a conversation about how coronavirus doesn’t actually exist.

This person walks right past the bathroom sink and out the door. Yep, they still exist, I’ve witnessed it firsthand. This person, especially if they beat you out of the bathroom before you’ve had a chance to identify them, will without guilt use the stall next to you, flush, stand in front of the mirror to adjust themselves without so much as a fleeting thought to run some H2O over their hands.

This person just climbed the fence even though the door was open. Blackout or not, they enjoy the challenge and don’t care if you’re amused.

They’ll hit a quick parkour in your face and act like ain’t shit happened.

This person has zero alcohol tolerance. If they had it before, it’s gone now. They emerged out of the quarantine, drank one beer and are already wasted. Watch out for this one, they’ll be holding up a stall in no time.

This person can’t wait to brunch. If you thought something as minute as coronavirus was going to keep these folks from their favorite Sunday morning spot, you need a Frosé stat, honey! The question for them is, “Who makes the list of 10 people!?”

This person ain’t paying. Thotting during coronavirus is still alive and well, and post-quarantine, these thots are thirsty!

This is the person who ends up getting left at the bar by their friends chasing strange tail and they have no idea who or what the other person has been around ... and do not care.

This person is off with the mask. In fact, what mask? This person never used one anyway, but they certainly aren’t worried about letting it throw off the ensemble they’ve been waiting to wear out for months.

At best, they wear it, take it off for their first drink and just like that, it’s gone quicker than your stimulus check.

If it were any other situation, each of these characters would be wildly amusing. After all, when you haven’t seen these folks in a while you realize that even though you didn’t miss them, you missed laughing at them.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not without blame for at least a couple of these, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t dip my toe into the Phase 2 nightlife pool — just to survey the landscape for you fine readers, ya know.

What I learned was humbling.

If this is what is going to become the norm during Phase 2, what the hell is in store for Phase 3 when bars and nightclubs reopen?

If we don’t take our newfound freedom seriously, it’ll be gone before we know it and we’ll be forced back into the caves from which we crawled — or worse.

INFO@QCNERVE.COM

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By Lucie Winborne • Who says you have to be human to serve your country? Between 2001 and 2009, a goat called William (“Billy”) Windsor was part of the 1st Battalion Infantry Unit of The Royal Welsh, with the title of lance corporal, no less. Although he was briefly demoted to fusilier following “unacceptable behavior” at Queen Elizabeth’s official birthday celebrations, he eventually saw the error of his ways and regained his more esteemed rank.

• Actor Brad Pitt chipped out pieces of his own front teeth to play the role of Tyler Durden in the movie “Fight Club.”

• And speaking of teeth ... in the American Civil War, soldiers were required to have at least four opposing front teeth so they could open a gunpowder pouch.

Some draftees had their front chompers removed to avoid service.

• What’s in a name? Depends on where you’re from. When the Coca-Cola Company was ready to import to China, it needed a moniker that fit with the majority of that country’s spoken languages. The original choice, “Kekoukela,” sounded phonetically similar, but in certain dialects translates to “bite the wax tadpole” or “female horse stuffed with wax.” Further research yielded a far more satisfactory solution, “Kekoukele,” meaning “tasty fun.”

• Romantic poet Percy Bysshe Shelley was one of literature’s first prominent vegans.

• Scientists studying a deadly disease transmitted from camels also found that the animals contained the pathogens from which the common cold was born.

Do we now know whom to blame?

• As many as 35% of people who hire a professional cleaning service admitted to cleaning up before the help arrives.

• Native Southerners might well be surprised to learn that the word “y’all” dates to 1631! It was first used by the English scholar William Lisle in the sentence, “The captive men of strength I gave to you, the weaker sold; and this y’all know is true.” *** Thought for the Day: “Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.” — Helen Keller © 2020 King Features Synd., Inc.

LIFESTYLE

HOROSCOPE JUNE 3 - JUNE 9 ARIES

(March 21 to April 19) Your Aries selfesteem level is high, as is your impatience to see more action come your way in the workplace. Good news, Lamb: It could start to happen sooner than you think.

JUNE 10 - JUNE 16 LIBRA

(September 23 to October 22) Seasonal ARIES (March 21 to April 19) Still operating under changes create opportunities for busy Librans. a full head of self-esteem makes you want to tackle However, be sure to balance your workload with a matter you had shied away from. OK. But be sure your personal life so that you don’t overdo it on one to arm yourself with facts before you make a move. end or the other.

LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) Coping with

an old issue that has suddenly re-emerged could take a big toll on your emotional energies. Decide whether you really want to pursue the possibilities here.

TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) That smart move you recently made caught the attention of a lot SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) For all now could upset a lot of people. But if you feel you’re critic could make a surprise turnaround and become of people, including some with financial deals to your skill in keeping your secrets safe, you could acting because you believe it’s the right thing to do, a supporter. But if your Scorpion sense suspects a offer. Use your Taurean wariness to check them out be unwittingly letting one slip out by the way others will understand and even come to support questionable motive, who are the rest of us to doubt thoroughly. you’re behaving in that new relationship. Are you. it? congratulations soon to be in order?

TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) Changing things SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) A former

GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) A change of mind SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21)

might not necessarily be a change of heart. You still Data on a new project seems less than dependable. want to go ahead with your plans, but you might see But it might turn out to be just the opposite. Consult a better way to make them happen. So go for it. with someone who knows how you might best be able to check it out.

(May 21 to June 20) Shyness might keep you from asking for more information on a SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) potentially important matter. But your curiosity Good old-fashioned horse sense could help you grows stronger by midweek and gives you the get around those who unknowingly or deliberately impetus for data-gathering. put obstacles in your way. Ignore the confusion and follow your own lead.

CANCER (June 21 to July 22) An old business

CANCER (June 21 to July 22) Taking on too many tasks may not be the wise thing to do at this CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) time. You might overspend both your physical and A puzzling attitude change in a colleague from emotional energy reserves, and have to miss out on friendly to chilly might stem from a long-hidden resentment suddenly bubbling up. An open and some upcoming events. honest talk should resolve the problem.

LEO (July 23 to August 22) Some Leos and Leonas might find it somewhat difficult to get their ideas AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) Showing accepted or even considered. But that’s only for a that you care is what Aquarians do so well. It’s your while. Things will soon return to the way you like very special skill. And this week, you’ll have several them. chances to show off that gift for a very special person. Good luck.

LEO

VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) The pace

VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) You might

dispute could re-emerge and possibly affect CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) upcoming negotiations. Consider opening up the Capricorneans face many decisions this week, with situation to include suggestions from others on both the Sea Goat’s kids rating high on the consideration scale, especially regarding vacations and upcoming sides of the issue. school matters.

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GEMINI

(July 23 to August 22) Try to keep your spending at an affordable level. Splurging now — AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) This especially on credit — could create a problem if week, many ever-generous Aquarians might find your finances are too low for you to take advantage themselves feeling an acquisitive urge. If so, indulge it. You’ve earned the right to treat yourself to of a possible opportunity. wonderful things.

seems to be slowing down from the hectic on-the- PISCES (February 19 to March 21) That streak of job run you recently enjoyed. But be assured that Piscean wariness should serve you well this week you’re still in the race to pick up new workplace- should you be among those who come up against a related goodies. slippery character offering a fishy deal with nothing to back it up.

not approve of a colleague’s behavior during much PISCES (February 19 to March 21) Expect to get of the week, but don’t play the judgmental Virgo a lot of advice on how to go about implementing card here. As always, check the facts before you your plans. But once you’ve sorted it all out, you’ll probably find that, once again, your way will be the assume the worst. best way.

BORN THIS WEEK: You have an artist’s sense of how to help others see, as you do, the beautiful things about the world.

BORN THIS WEEK: You enjoy the quiet times of your life, but when you’re in the mood, you can throw a party everyone will want to go to.

2020 KING FEATURES SYND., INC.

LIFESTYLE COLUMN

PG.19 PUZZLE ANSWERS

SAVAGE LOVE BLINDERS

Do what you need to do

BY DAN SAVAGE

Here goes: I’m a 32-year-old gay male and I have trouble staying out of my head during sex. I feel like there may be many issues. The one nonissue is everything works fine on my own. When I’m single or “available,” I am OK. Let’s be honest: I’m a slut and I enjoy it. But when I invest in someone, when I’m trying to have an actual relationship, the sex suffers. With a partner I care about I feel nervous. I feel small both mentally and physically.

And I worry my dick is small. I’ve measured and photographed it, so I know better, but something in me is always asking... are you really enough?

I’m currently in an open relationship with a guy I’ve known for a decade. He’s amazing. Often I’m hard AF just sitting there relaxing with him.

But the closer we get to actually having sex, the more nervous I become. I even stop breathing consistently. It’s almost like I feel ashamed to want someone so much. Or something? It’s frustrating because I would love nothing more than to fuck like rabbits until we were both exhausted. I love him and I want to be able to please him sexually!

Our intimacy, our conversation, our connection— everything else is so strong. But I feel like my problem will kill any future I might have with him.

He hasn’t really expressed a concern but I worry. I have considered the idea of therapy but the idea of talking to some stranger about my sex life face to face is just daunting. So what do I do? My other thought is to just blindfold him and say bottoms up.

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DAZED IN LOVE

So you don’t wanna talk with a therapist about your issues — which touch on more than just sex — but you’re willing to talk to me and all of my readers about them. I realize it’s a little different, DIL, as you don’t have to look me in the eye while we discuss your dick. But there are therapists who specialize in helping people work through their issues around sex and they’re usually pretty good at setting nervous new clients at ease. They have to be. So I would encourage you to have a few sessions with a sex-positive queer shrink. Talking about your dick with a stranger will be awkward at first, of course, but just like

eating ass, DIL, the more you do it, the less awkward it gets — and after a few sessions, your therapist won’t be a stranger anymore. (To find a sex-positive/poly-positive sex therapist, head over to the website of the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists: aasect.org.)

In the meantime, DIL, go ahead and blindfold your boyfriend — if he’s game, of course, and I can’t imagine he wouldn’t be. You seem to have an irrational fear of being seen. If your boyfriend were to get a good look at you naked, DIL, especially if he got a good look at your dick, you’re convinced he would suddenly conclude — even though he’s known you for a decade and is obviously into you — that you’re not “enough” for him. So don’t let him get a good look. Blindfold that boy.

Don’t lie to him about why you want to blindfold him — tell him you feel a little insecure — but bringing in a blindfold makes working through your insecurities into a sexy game. Being able to have sex with the boyfriend without having to worry about him sizing up your cock will free you to enjoy sex and who knows?

After a few hot sex sessions with your sensory-deprived boyfriend (or a few dozen hot sessions), your confidence may get the boost it needs and you won’t feel so insecure about your cock or anything else.

And even if your dick was small — which it isn’t, DIL, and you’ve got the measurements and photos to prove it — you could still have great sex with your boyfriend. Guys with dicks of all sizes, even guys without dicks, can have great sex. And if you’re still nervous after blindfolding the boyfriend and worried you’ll go soft, DIL, you can take the pressure off by enjoying sex acts and play that don’t require you to be hard. You can bottom for him, you can blow him, you can use toys on his ass, you can sit on his face while he jacks off, etc. There’s a lot you can do without your dick.

Zooming out, DIL, intimacy and hot sex are often negatively correlated — meaning, the more intimate a relationship becomes, the less hot the sex gets. Anyone who’s watched more than one American sitcom has heard a million jokes about this sad fact. People in sexually exclusive relationships who still want hot sex to be a part of their lives have to work at solving this problem with their partners. But if you’re in an open relationship and can get sex elsewhere, well, then you can have love and intimacy and pretty good sex with your partner and adventures and novelty and crazy hot sex with other people.

Ideally, of course, a person in an open relationship wants — and it is possible for a person in an open

TRIVIA ANSWERS: 1. John Hancock 2. Doc 3. 1,000

4. Billy Connolly 5. Tanzania 6. Eye floaters 7. University of Oregon

relationship to have — hot sex with their committed partner as well as their other partners. But some people can’t make it work, DIL. However hard they try, some people can’t have uninhibited or unselfconscious sex with a long-term partner. The more invested they are in someone, the higher the stakes are, the longer they’re together, etc., the less arousing sex is for them. Most of the people with this problem — people who aren’t capable of having great sex with a long-long-long-term partner — are in monogamous relationships and, judging from the jokes on sitcoms, they’re utterly (but hilariously) miserable. You’re not in a monogamous relationship, DIL, so if it turns out you’re incapable of having great sex with a committed partner — if you can’t manage to integrate those things — you don’t have to go without great sex.

You can have intimacy at home and great sex elsewhere.

But it’s a double-edged sword, DIL, because if you can get hot sex elsewhere, you may not be motivated to do the work required — to talk to that shrink, to get that blindfold, to work through those issues — that would make it possible for you to have great sex with your partner and others.

8. Johnny Cash 9. The Statue of Liberty 10. The Hungry Heifer

unemotional whereas I cry during car commercials.

I’m desperately seeking an emotional equal. Every day I go back and forth between loving where we are and wanting to run the fuck away. I have a tendency to do the latter — with guys, friends, jobs — so I don’t know what I really want. But I feel so incredibly unfulfilled. We have a lackluster sex life and I feel more like his roommate the past year than his girlfriend. I want to be inspired by my partner. My question is ... actually, I’m not really sure I have a question.

FIRST RELATIONSHIP FIZZLE

Since you didn’t ask a question, FRF, I guess you don’t require an answer. So I’ll make an observation instead: You repeatedly refer to this relationship in the past tense. (“…this was my first ‘real’ relationship,” “… our relationship seemed great,” “…the more I tried.”)

So you obviously know what you need to do. Your soonto-be-ex-boyfriend sounds like a good guy, FRF, and you don’t want to hurt him, which makes dumping him harder. But if he’s not the right guy for you, FRF, you’re not the right woman for him. Go back to flitting — and who knows? Maybe one day you’ll jump on a dick that’s attached to a guy who inspires you. Or maybe you don’t want one guy — forever or for long. Some people are happier flitting than settling.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for three years.

I’m a 27-year-old woman and this was my first “real” relationship. Before I met my boyfriend, I would have considered myself a steady dickjumper. I went flitting from guy to guy. On paper, our relationship seemed great. He tries to make sure I have what I need, whether it’s a Join me for my first-ever Savage Lovecast meal, a TV show, a record to play. He is stable and Livestream! June 4 at 10:00 EST. I’ll answer as many affectionate; most of all, he wanted to be with of your questions as I can, all from the comfort of me. But he’s boring. When I talk to him, I want to your computer. Tickets are at savagelovecast.com/ be somewhere, anywhere else. The more I tried events; mail@savagelove.net; Follow Dan on Twitter to engage with him, the more obvious our lack @FakeDanSavage. of any deep connection seemed. He is stoic and

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