SATURDAY, JULY 4, 2015 AT 11:13 AM
So sad. I hate waking up in tears. It’s hard to stave off, they come before you can stop them. Enough with waking up sad. I want days full of joy. Enough with feeling so alone. I need to be surrounded by love. Enough with loving unavailable men. Enough with slaving away. I need something meaningful and worthwhile. In all aspects. I’ve wasted too much of my time. I sucked at the door last night. At one point, both managers had to take over. When they do, I shut down and go on autopilot. It’s no way to be. I could’ve done a perfectly good job without micromanagement, but I let my guard down once again. Damn. I hate fucking up. And for what? Seating people and cleaning tables? It’s not what I’m about, boo. What a mood. I’m so much better than this vibe. Constantly learning, healing, building and reaffirming. It’s an ongoing project. Are you down for the cause? I AM COMMITTED TO A LIFE OF SELF AND SOCIAL TRANSFORMATION. I AM COMMITTED TO A LIFE FULL OF LOVE. Are you down for the cause? If you wanna ride this life with me, you’re gonna have to, because I am only human, and I need someone who’s down for the cause, especially when I think I can’t be. Can I be selfish when you get back? This is my petty self’s will. To do the things I want to do, the things that make me happy, to have you all for myself. No phones, no screens. Just you and me. Filling my ears with the love I need to hear, your mouth dripping with love for me. Out of vengefulness and spite for crappy “bae in Europe” times. Immature? Sure. Yet I still ask, can I be selfish when you get back? Dude at Matchstick wearing an Amsterdam t-shirt. Wahali. “Great,” I said. “My boyfriend’s away in Amsterdam for a month. Thanks for reminding me.” XD
Created in Day One
1