Your Best Life

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How Do I Keep My Joy? Knock Out The Stress!

When

GRANDPARENTING Isn't Fun Any More Remember the thrill of becoming a grandparent? Remember watching “your baby” “have a baby”? It all seemed so simple and sweet for a short while, right?

While most of the time, there are more joys than heartaches during our grandparenting season, occasionally there are times or seasons when being a grandparent just isn’t any fun. It is a hard thing to acknowledge, and an even harder thing to admit—however, every now and then, grandparents are called upon to do hard things as grandparents.

Sometimes situations arise causing you as a grandparent to once again become a parent. Divorce in the family? Long term illness?

Maybe your child is just not capable of parenting for any number of reasons which puts you in the driver’s seat of parenting again.

This scenario happens more than one might think. Thankfully, in our day and time, there are many agencies, churches, and self help groups available if this is a stage of life you find yourself in. Do not despair or give up.

Many times, this role of “parenting for the second time” will only last for a season.

Then, you can enjoy your grandparenting role again.

It has been said that “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.”

This is definitely true for grandparents.

Even though it can be fun to have children and grandchildren just around the corner or at least in the same city, sometimes the boundaries of love and appreciation are taken for granted and it can be more of a chore to grandparent than what was originally bargained for. If this is the case for you, it

might be a good idea to try to get away for extended vacations occasionally—alone. It might also be necessary to limit visits to weekly or bi-weekly so as not to be overwhelmed as a grandparent with too many little munchkins running around.

Whatever season you find yourself in, there are ways to find the joy again if you stop and think about what has taken the joy away. After all, like being a parent—you only get one go around.

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Having a hard time finding those sparks?

One of the best remedies to rekindle the spark is to recite your memories to one another of when those sparks were flying everywhere.

KEEPING THOSE Sparks Alive Nothing says “I love you” This is after all, The Best Life!

Growing older doesn’t have to mean growing colder in love.

In fact, if you have been in a long term relationship, you will probably realize that the sparks come even easier and more frequently than they did when you were chasing kids, goals, and big dreams. You have finally arrived at a time when you have either realized your goals or given up on them.

Remind one another of your favorite places to go, the foods you enjoyed together, or when you first saw one another. Put on some music that brought you together and dance the night away. Those sparks will be rekindled without a word.

Another great remedy for rekindling the fire that has been smothered by years of hard work and life’s circumstances is just flat out appreciation and gratitude for one another. Nothing says “I love you” like appreciating your spouse for how he has provided for you for years, or how she put up with your inconsistencies.

Try saying “Thank You” every day to one another. Then watch out— because that cold love will rise to the top and the flame will be ignited.

GRANDPARENTS smooth relationships Anticipation of Grandparenthood From the time the expectant couple announces the impending arrival of your first grandchild, the anticipation begins. The expectant mother will undergo many physical and emotional changes throughout the pregnancy. If you’re emotionally close with your daughter or daughter-in-law, participate in her pregnancy by sharing and offering support as she experiences morning sickness, first kicks, maternity clothes, gender reveal, nursery and layette planning, and labor preparation.

Purchase items for the new baby to help the parents prepare for the arrival and to share in the expectation. Pass down to your new grand baby special toys or outfits that were your child’s. Plan a shower for the mother-to-be to celebrate the arrival of your grandchild.

Allow them to grow in their roles It’s all about respecting boundaries

Meeting Your Grandchild Your geographic proximity to your new

grandchild will determine how and when you first meet him. Perhaps the parents will invite you to be present at labor and delivery or maybe you will meet the new bundle after he arrives.

Prepare yourself for an overwhelming feeling of love when you first see the new baby and hold him. With parenthood, new parents typically bond with the new baby while experiencing feelings of fatigue and anxiety.

With grandparenthood, you likely won’t have the negative feelings, which frees you to love your new grandchild with fierce abandon. Watch your initial approach with the parents and the new baby to ensure that your presence isn’t overpowering to the new family.

No matter how many kids you raised or how they turned out, your adult child and his or her spouse or partner are now in charge of the childrearing. Be cautious about offering opinions or advice unless asked directly. And even then, tread lightly and express yourself gently.

It’s hard to keep your lips zipped when you hear things you disagree with, from what kind of birth the parents are planning to what kind of childcare they’re considering.

But you need to.

With a new grandchild on the way, it’s tempting to go on a shopping spree. But before you do, ask the parents-to-be what they need, what they don’t want, and whether there’s a baby registry or wish list you can consult before you buy anything.