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The Kids I Teach Š Andrew Weatherhead and Mallory Whitten 2013 Publishing Genius Press Baltimore, Maryland www.PublishingGenius.com First published in 2013 This book is also archived for online reading at PublishingGenius.com


they smell bad


Jolene said she drinks a liter of orange soda a day


Ashleigh blew her nose on my shirt


Tobias spent $5 on candy and cried


only Essence has a cell phone


Robbie locked himself in the closet he didn’t stay long


Tyler wanted to know everything I knew about tornadoes


DeMarcus said he likes to wear swim goggles because they make the world blue


one time we bobbed for apples I hated it


I asked Ken what he was drawing he said “butts�


I found Enrique behind the TV staring out the window


Jayden pooped on the rug and on the floor


Carlos said “it’s Jesus” pointing at a mermaid


the janitor and I talked about LeBron


Lulu started crying and when I went to see what was the matter she whispered in my ear it smells like garlic bread


two kids get in a fight three kids get in a fight four kids get in a fight five kids get in a fight six kids get in a fight


they can still drink milk


after the kickball popped only Dimitry wanted to play with it


Keith tried to throw a chair I stopped him


I asked Natasha to name a city, any city she said, “India�


Keely explained why she was afraid of dogs then they all were afraid of dogs


sometimes they just fall asleep


Ken drew a picture it looked like turtles lying in the grass under a setting sun I asked him what it was he said “butts�


when they color I color


my meanness weighs on Elliot’s heart but his meanness weighs on mine


he called me a nigger, a faggot, a motherfucking bitch and Mr. Andrew


The Kids I Teach  

Written by Andrew Weatherhead and drawn by Mallory Whitten, this book is a humorous documentation of how elementary school students interact...

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