T U ES DAY, A P RI L 1, 2014
HOUSE of CARDS (FBLA version) VOLUME 55 NO. 7
The Prospector
CHSPROSPECTOR.ORG
Student Newspaper of Cupertino High School
10100 FINCH AVENUE, CUPERTINO, CA 95014
McDonalds maintains sphere of influence through school paint job
EDWARD MEECHUM features assistant
CHARLIE SHEEN flipside assistant
McDonald’s: the stereotypical unhealthy — yet appetizing — restaurant. For two years, developers of the shopping plaza across the street from Hyde Middle School have been working diligently to construct a McDonald’s restaurant. However, due to concerns from neighborhood residents regarding traffic, noise and public safety, the idea was eventually shot down. McDonald’s, on the other hand, did not lose hope, instead continuing their search for the ideal site to settle. One year later, they discovered the perfect location — here at Cupertino High School. The school had been under construction for nearly a year,
JOHN MULANEY news assistant
To pee or not to pee? That is the question that male students at the school have asking themselves during the protests in the quad that have been occurring for the past week. As a result of the absence of dividers between the men’s bathroom urinals at the school, the male students have decided that it is time to speak up. Done with the awkwardness and embarrassment that result from the blatant lack of privacy, these brave students have decided to boycott the restrooms until further changes are made. Although the bathrooms at the track and in the new student union building do include dividers between urinals, the bathrooms near the science wing and in the main hallway are still lacking dividers. Because these two bathrooms are the most commonly used and accessible, the males at this school are outraged by the
until finally its true identity was revealed — McTino. School administrators claim that there’s nothing wrong with the school building being the same iconic red and yellow of a McDonald’s restaurant. In fact, according to a recent McDonald’s TV advertisement, the school’s API score skyrocketed past that of the nearest Burger King after the completion of the construction. Much of the school’s staff has reacted in a positive manner to this situation. Said yearbook adviser and business teacher Jen Townsend, “After we discovered the colors of the new building, we decided to rename our yearbook ‘The McNugget.’” In addition, due to widespread complaints about the wait times for the student drop-off, McDonalds representative Donald McRonald stated, “We’ve received your complaints through our customer service page and we’ve decided to grant this local
school’s failure to protect their dignity. The boys have refused to urinate where they are supposed to, resulting in a large amount of kids wetting their pants throughout the day. These brave Pioneers are even refusing to wear diapers, insisting that the feeling of moist undergarments is not as bad as it smells. Teachers and girls are outraged, annoyed by the wet seats that the angry boys leave behind. The protests in the quad are loaded with crosslegged boys holding signs with statements such as “United we strike, divided we pee!” while the entirety of the school’s female population has been passing their time in the library. Since the boycotts and protests began last Monday, the school board has stated that they will not consider adding dividers to the urinals because of a lack of funds. They claim that they chose to install a teacher’s spa in the office during construction instead of
franchise additional funding to open a new drive-thru at the front of the school.” The new drive thru is scheduled to be completed in early 2015; however, sources have claimed that due to past experiences with construction, a more accurate estimation would be late 2017. Since the transformation from Cupertino High School to McTino, many changes have occurred. Last month, Principal Kami Tomberlain received a promotion to “Head Manager” and the school updated the menu at its cafeteria with new, healthy options. In addition, the curricula for several of the AP science classes on campus have been modified to reflect the recent changes. AP Biology students, in collaboration with the Gardening Club, will be growing tomatos and lettuce on the school’s turf. AP Chemis-
Boys strike until urinal dividers are constructed
APRIL SHOWERS | Protestors vent their frustration on the walls of Room 611