SELF-COMPASSION
Natural Response = RESIST
• Often makes the pain or suffering worse.
• Problem + Resistance = Suffering
• Self-judgement
• Self-isolation
• Over-identification
(over-identification can be understood as opposite of avoidance)
Self compassion can change our RELATIONSHIP with stress by:
• Shifting our perspective
• Transforming the inner experience
• Reducing isolation
Julie Larson, LCSW - www.julielarsonlcsw.com
Self Compassion Strategy One: THE REALITY CHECK
• Many factors led to this discomfort which are out of your control.
• This upset is understandable and not your fault.
• You didn’t design this present moment.
How do you drive the car in these conditions?
The Power of The Reality Check
• Disengage with shame and blame mentality
• BUT take responsibility for awareness and selfcare
• ”How may I be helpful, not harmful?”
Self Compassion Strategy Two: The Self-Compassion Break
Julie Larson, LCSW - www.julielarsonlcsw.com
• Name it to Tame it – “This is a moment of struggle.”
• Common Humanity –There are others who are also struggling right now. “I am not the only feeling this much stress.”
• Self-kindness – Touch, words of comfort, reassurance, kindness.
“The things that we feel most separate us from others are actually the things we have most in common. We ALL feel this way at times. Yet, there are so many parts of ourselves we’re ashamed of and don’t want to share.”
- Carl Rogers
Julie Larson, LCSW - www.julielarsonlcsw.com
The Power of the Self-Compassion Break
• Courageous choice to turn toward our discomfort with care and curiosity.
• Research indicates decrease in depression, reduction of ruminating thoughts.
• Effective as treatment but also as prevention
• Changes the tone of the moment.
Self Compassion Strategy Three The Mindful SEAT
• Sensations: Begin with your body – 5 senses
• Emotions – What am I feeling?
• Actions – What do I want to do?
How may I be helpful not harmful?
• Thoughts – What am I thinking about?
The Power of The Mindful SEAT
• Bring sensitivity to how you are being affected by your thoughts and feelings.
• Make a courageous choice to care for yourself differently.
• Acknowledge thoughts and feelings then take Compassionate Authority.
“Thank you Mind, I got this now!”
Julie Larson, LCSW - www.julielarsonlcsw.com
Self-compassion is a tool because we suffer not necessarily to take away suffering
Julie Larson, LCSW - www.julielarsonlcsw.com
Self Compassion Strategy Four Loving Kindness
• Shift from harshness and self-attack to warmth and understanding.
• Learn a few phrases that may be of comfort when you are upset:
• “May I be safe”
• “May I be peaceful”
• ”May I be protected”
• “May I be happy”
• “May I be loved”