KidDictionary Word:
project you STAYHOMOPHOBIA
(stay-HO-mo-FO-bee-uh) n.: The fear of having your kids at home for the entire summer vacation.
Happy Camper, Scared Parent
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By Eric Ruhalter
ast year, my friend’s son had on the shores of Lake Winnepausome mishap where he’d got- sakie? (I don’t know how to spell it. It ten poked in the eye while at seems THAT hard.) We can’t. He will summer camp. When my friend got be, for the first time, on his own. up there to check on him (his eye was Here’s hoping he grows from this forfine) the first thing he noted was ay into independence. These freethat he was still wearing the doms and responsibilities are Eric same T-shirt he had on when coming pretty soon regardRuhalter they dropped him off. less. And it seems wise to let TheKid This summer, for the first him experience a piece of it Dictionary.com time ever, my son Jaxen will in this kind of safe, remote go away to a sleep away camp micro-reality. for two weeks starting the last And I’m happy for him that week of July. I’m a little worried he’ll he’ll have the opportunity to enjoy be home sick. He’s a little worried the a taste of freedom and be lodged in last week of July will never get here. a beautiful place where the number This is going to be a real challenge one objective is to enjoy some sumfor us, his parents. How can we watch mer fun. And at least I know in adover him? Control his every thought vance that I don’t have to bother and action when he’s six hours away packing a change of clothes. ■ 8
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A Role Mommy Magazine l July 2012
The (d.a.) D List of Ways to Embarass Your Teenager • Acknowledge them in public. • When driving your child’s friends somewhere in the car, sing. • Always wear the exact same outfit that they wear. • When they get on the bus, come out in your bathrobe and wave to them like you did on their first day of kindergarten. • Sign on for any and all high school chaperoning duties. • Three words : Kiss On Lips Eric Ruhalter’s book The Kid Dictionary: Hilarious Words To Describe the Indescribable Things Kids Do is debuting everywhere in March from Sourcebooks.