or expresses a boundary that seems strange or unnecessary, respond with curiosity. Asking more about what it means, what it could look like in practice, or why it’s important to them helps the whole group expand their knowledge base, helps the individual feel heard and validated, and creates space for coming up with agreements that really do consider everyone present. Be mindful, though! It’s easy to fall into the trap of using coercion to drive a specific result during this activity, but resist! Coercion harms the relationships we are trying to build with our agreements, and it has negative outcomes in relationships for others and ourselves when we experience or use it. So take a deep breath and let go of feeling like you need to control this; lean into the value of the process instead. Dealing with possible disagreements up front - with openness and willingness to listen - is important to building resilience into ourselves and our relationships. Here are some other considerations for creating strong and active community agreements: • Consider the goals together. Why is everyone here? What is required of you as a group? What are each person’s individual goals for the time you have together? Asking these questions can help ground each person in their own purpose. If some students don’t know what their goals are, or feel negatively towards the idea of being in a class at all, that’s okay. Work together as a group to build some common goals. If you teach a required class or grade level and the students didn’t necessarily choose to be there, this is a time to recognize that sometimes we do things we might not choose, but if we are going to be here, we can choose how to make the best of it. Imagining the benefits of what we are doing can create motivation that was not there before. Even better, doing this work together means that all the heavy lifting of motivation and purpose doesn’t slip through the cracks or fall entirely on the shoulders of the teacher. • Ask what each individual needs in order to feel safe, comfortable, and excited to meet their goals. The answers you get may surprise you! When we give people the chance to think about and reflect on what they need we can often learn simple ways to help others succeed. Understanding
How to Share Space: Creating Community in Classrooms and Beyond
others’ needs helps build empathy, helps us see our own needs better, and gives us motivation to compromise and follow through on things even if they aren’t directly tied to our own needs or desires. If the class has decided that whole class shoutouts are a possible reward, it won’t mean that every student will experience them that way. If a student is shy or doesn’t want to be the center of attention, they may not experience a congratulatory shoutout as a positive at all! Interest and preference surveys let students state what feels good and affirming to them. Respecting students’ choices in this way builds trust and models basic respect and consent. • Be transparent. Gather in a circle, voice ideas out loud, agree to hear everyone out without judgement in this process. If there are rules from the school or organization that must be followed, be clear about those and how they will affect your agency as a group. If you have a way that you work best as a teacher or facilitator, add that information in as well. • Adjust your own ideas. What you need as a teacher and what your students need as learners may be in opposition. Be willing to adjust your own ideas and practices as much as you expect students to adjust theirs. Be willing to try out practices that sound silly or useless to you. If you’ve set up a goal as a group, then that goal becomes the metric by which you measure the value or success of different ideas in practice. • Give up control. Regardless of our own personal philosophy or practice, there are many factors that can make the idea of maintaining control in our classroom seem necessary or desirable. But maintaining control is exhausting and puts the burden of the “right” action in the hands of the controller. What we think a student should need in order to function may not work for them. We may find that our class has needs that feel incompatible. Don’t try to control the outcomes or steer the agreements towards a catchy acronym. Lean into the practice of centering agreements around what each person needs in order to feel safe, comfortable, and able to learn. Let students see, recognize, and help solve seeming
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