LGBTQ+ & Gender Affirming Summer Camp Options
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Navigating the Tricky Waters of Coparenting Addressing Menstrual and Period Health for LGBTQ+ Youth
April - May 2020 | PrizmNews.com April - May 2020 PrizmNews.com
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ONE LOVE WHERE COLUMBUS GETS ENGAGED
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April - May 2020 PrizmNews.com
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April - May ‘MY [FUTURE] AUNT IS TALL ...AND TRANSGENDER’ Discussing my upcoming wedding with my 7-year-old niece THE MYSTERIES OF QUEER GIFT-GIVING Think you know what to get for your LGBTQ+ family? Think again! KID AT HEART LGBTQ+ Ohioans’ many ways of approaching co-parenting PUTTING LGBTQ+ FAMILIES FIRST Family Equality fights back against discrimination toward the LGBTQ+ community masked as ‘religious liberty’ GREAT OUTDOORS Camp Lilac presents a gender-affirming alternative to standard summer camp options PERIOD PIECE Efforts abound in Ohio to address menstrual and period health for LGBTQ+ youth DEPARTMENTS Letter From the Publisher One of Us
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Photo by Wilmer Martinez
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April - May 2020 PrizmNews.com
Chief Executive Officer Bill Hardy Publisher Carol Zimmer Clark carolzclark@prizmnews.com
Letter from the Publisher
Associate Publisher/Advertising Director Joe Matessa joematessa@prizmnews.com Editor Ken Schneck kenschneck@prizmnews.com Designer Patrick Butler patrickbutler@equitashealth.com Contributing Writers BJ Colangelo, Peter Kusnic, Elaine Schleiffer, Ilona Westfall, Megan Hageman
It is with great sadness that I let you know that we have decided to discontinue publication of Prizm, both in print and digital form. As you are likely aware, it is a difficult time in history to keep a print publication financially healthy. The COVID-19 virus has wreaked havoc on the publishing industry and has deeply affected Prizm in two significant ways: 1.
Cover Story Creative Director Edward J. Sajovic Cover Story Photographer Ian Argo Cover Story Model Akashia Cover Story Kids Gray Alleman, Holden Dieter, Evelyn Fear, Carlee Phillips, Elliot Travise
Prizm encourages feedback from our readers. Share your comments at joematessa@prizmnews.com For news consideration, event listings, letters to the editor and inquiries about freelance writing, email kenschneck@prizmnews.com For photography submissions and inquiries about modeling/styling assignments, email kenschneck@prizmnews.com Address subscription inquiries to Joe Matessa, Prizm Magazine 7575 Huntington Park Drive, Columbus, Ohio, 43235 © 2020 Prizm magazine. For permissions and questions contact joematessa@prizmnews.com Prizm is a proud member of the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce
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Our distribution to over 1,000 Ohio locations has made it even harder to deliver to a public that is practicing “shelter-at-home” indefinitely. Our advertising revenue has quickly evaporated as events have been canceled and organizations understandably need to redirect their funds to keep their efforts afloat.
Thus, we have made the very difficult decision that our February issue was our last print issue. As with every prior issue, we will publish our April/May issue electronically via e-mail and on our website. In addition, this week will be the last issue of The Lens. I am very proud of the work we have done to inform, educate and entertain LGBTQ+ Ohioans and our allies about our lives, our hopes, our struggles and our triumphs over the last three years. It has been the only remaining LGBTQ+ publication in Ohio, giving voice to our community at a time when our civil rights are being eroded with calculation.
readers. Staley Munroe, our former creative director, helped us build a brand that has been visually stunning with her exceptional photography and robust connection to the community. Many others contributed to the publication since our launch in October of 2017, including former editor, Bob Vitale; our graphic designer, Patrick Butler; and many gifted writers, photographers and models. We are grateful for each and every one for the individual contributions that created the mosaic of voices that made Prizm. I have to thank our many advertisers who believed in us, who supported us, and made it possible to provide our content to LGBTQ+ Ohioans. There are too many to mention, but we would like to highlight Worthington Jewelers, who not only built business with their ad buys, but did so “because it is the right thing to do”. They supported us continually since our launch, and we hope you will support them in return (worthingtonjewelers.com). We have been proud to serve you.
Carol Zimmer Clark Publisher
It was in mid-2017 that Joel Diaz, former Chief Marketing Officer of Equitas Health, and Bill Hardy, CEO, made the decision to launch a new publication to serve LGBTQ+ Ohioans. Their vision to light a candle in the news darkness after Outlook shuttered was the beginning of a wonderful ride for us at Prizm. I was brought on to lead the team, and within weeks we published our first magazine in October of that year. Our associate publisher, Joe Matessa, and our editor, Ken Schneck, have been incredibly devoted to provide exceptional content to our community over the past year, with vigor and passion that have driven the important news stories to the attention of our loyal April - May 2020 PrizmNews.com
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By BJ Colangelo When my future wife and I began wedding planning, one of our first decisions was wanting Roxie, my seven-year-old niece, to be our flower girl. Being a flower girl is something Roxie has done before, but at this point in her young life, she’s never attended a queer wedding. She’s been to Pride every year since she was born but the social messaging of weddings have been aggressively heteronormative for her. Asking Roxie to be our flower girl was going to be a monumental event for her, and her parents and I decided that this would be the perfect opportunity to teach her about the reality of her future Aunt Harmony’s life, and thus teach her what it means to be transgender. On the day of her first daddy-daughter dance in February, I joined my niece underneath her canopy bed for a discussion about love, life, and gender expression. “Love is when your heart gets so warm you feel it through your whole body and you can’t stop smiling no matter how much you try,” she tells me. “I love my family and cats and Jungle Boy.” For those unaware, Jungle Boy is a professional wrestler with a lion’s mane of curly hair and the face of his father, Luke Perry. “I love you too, Aunt BJ. I can’t wait for your wedding.” I knew the second that Roxie found out I was getting married she would be gunning for that flower girl spot. She’s a tricky little thing and I could tell immediately that she was trying to steer me into talking to her about being a flower girl. In an attempt to lead her into the important discussion at hand, I asked her what she thought of me marrying a woman. “Anyone can marry anyone they want as long as they both love each other. Girls and boys can marry other girls and boys if that’s who they love.” Queerness is something I knew she already understood, but gender identity is an entirely different conversation. “Roxie, do you know what it means to be transgender?” I asked. “No, I haven’t learned that in school yet,” she replied. “Well, when babies are born, doctors and parents assign gender—like being a boy or a girl—to them based on what their bodies look like. But sometimes the way our bodies look does not match with our gender,” I explained. “Some people don’t have gender at all, and some people have lots of gender expressions.” She looked at me, eyes wide, and said, “So sometimes they get it wrong?” “Yes,” I said to her. “Sometimes people get it wrong and babies grow up being treated one way, but feeling another.” “That’s so sad,” she says. “It really breaks my heart to think about that.”
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“Roxie, what if I told you that when Aunt Harmony was little, everyone used to think she was a boy?” Without missing a beat, she clutched her imaginary pearls and gasped, “But how? Aunt Harmony IS A GIRL.” I couldn’t help but laugh. “Well, Aunt Harmony is also transgender.” “So they got it wrong when she was a baby?” “Yes, my sweet girl, they got it wrong.” Roxie got real quiet, and she brought up her older brother. My nephew Cash used to have long, asymmetrical blonde hair down to his shoulders, and would frequently be confused for a girl. While it didn’t bother him any, people weren’t always nice to him about the confusion. “Are people bullies to Harmony?” My heart broke a little bit, and I explained to her that yes, sometimes people are bullies. I also explained that people bully me too just for loving her. “Bullying is never okay, and if people are mean because you love her, then they don’t know what love is,” Roxie concluded. I gave her a hug, told her I loved her, and then asked if she wanted to be our flower girl. She screamed with excitement and kicked her feet on the bed and yelped out “I’ve been DYING to be your flower girl!” “Now, Roxie, your friends at school might ask you questions about our wedding and they might be confused when they see all of our pictures together. What are you going to say to them?” She smiled really wide, giggled a little, and said “My Aunt BJ is short with green hair and my new aunt Harmony is tall with blue hair and is transgender, and I love them very much.” ••• BJ Colangelo is a social emotional theatre teaching artist with Cleveland Play House and a professional horror film journalist and theorist. Her work has been featured in publications like Blumhouse, Medium, Playboy, Vulture, Birth.Movies.Death, Bloody-Disgusting, and has contributed essays to the books When Animals Attack!, Creepy Bitches, and Hidden Horror 101.
‘My [Future] Aunt is Tall...and Transgender’ Discussing my upcoming wedding with my 7-year-old niece
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T h e M yst e r i es o f Q u e e r G i f t - G iv i n g Think you know what to get for your LGBTQ+ family? Think again! By Peter Kusnic
What LGBTQ+ people really want
Nothing is better than giving the perfect gift; the hard part is finding it. The possibilities can feel endless— or nonexistent—or maybe, if you’re like me, you have a tendency to procrastinate, your own Amazon wish list getting longer and longer as the big day approaches and the window for free Prime shipping rapidly closes.
Turns out, what LGBTQ+ people want is the same thing everyone wants: kitchenware. Like a lot of gay men, it took me until my thirties to realize this universal fact—after years of relying on takeout and a single dull Dollar General knife to meet all my chopping needs—but what a world to discover: Ergonomic kitchen utensils! Lidded mixing bowls! Cast iron skillets! Ceramic baking dishes! And don’t get me started on the innovative life-changers out there (I’m looking at you, air fryer.). What’s more, these practical items can also be unforgettable works of art – like wooden utensils by Earlywood and handcrafted knives from Kramer and Wüsthof.
Whether they’re your biological or chosen family, the secret to the perfect gift for your LGBTQ+ relative is simple: go with what you know. Is your gay brother here for another Ina Garten cookbook? Probably. Is your lesbian roommate itching for another Settlers of Catan expansion pack? Again, probably. But the important thing to remember—especially for our LGBTQ+ allies—is that it’s up to you to find out what your family member likes, because rainbow boas don’t cut it for everyone, and stereotypes are always, always, your worst consultant. Have some of their interests in mind? Good! Now keep on reading for extra inspiration to guide you on your path to the perfect gift.
The great thing about gifting kitchenware—and homeware more generally (who doesn’t love a cool throw pillow, picture frame, or lamp?)—is its versatility. These gifts can fit any occasion, if not every personality. See for example the stove in my first apartment that did not get used once in the two years I lived there.
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The perfect gift can be lifechanging. Jacob Nash of trans nonprofit Margie’s Hope in Akron says a guitar he received in 1977 helped him get through the most difficult years of his life, and even helped him win over his now-wife, Erin. “To this day, playing that guitar brings me such comfort and joy, and I am forever grateful to my parents for giving it to me and to my sister Cathy for teaching me how to play it.”
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Above all, the perfect gift simply shows the recipient you really thought about them. Toni Simmons, an icon in Cleveland’s trans community, told me about the dress her friend brought back for her from his recent trip to Key West. “I said, Oh my god! Finally, a man who understands how well I can work a tropical print. They ain’t gonna be ready when I wear it!”
Shop local, shop weird, shop queer Supporting local business is always preferred to making the Bezoses and Waltons of the world ever richer, and Ohio is home to an eclectic variety of LGBTQ+-owned shops. My personal go-to is Cleveland’s Dean Rufus House of Fun, where just last week—while shopping for myself—I spotted amid the Tina Turner vinyls and other essentials the perfect birthday gift for my chosen sister, Abbey: a refrigerator magnet of the Golden Girls with “F*** Donald Trump” Photoshopped onto Sophia’s sweater. But if online shopping is more your thing, try one of the talented LGBTQ+ vendors on Etsy, RedBubble, and other platforms. A personal favorite is Fascist Panties, a queer UK-based artist who makes oneof-a-kind homages to camp and pop culture icons like Carrie, Madonna, and Bette & Joan. Handmade, handwritten, or handpicked: Make it personal Sometimes it’s not what the gift is per se, but where it came from – namely, the heart. One of the most meaningful gifts I ever received (for my thirtieth birthday) cost as much as the card my chosen sister Brit wrote it on, but the sentiments she expressed were priceless, and I often revisit them when I’m feeling down. Whether you write a letter, poem, or song, or create a collage, painting, or other handmade keepsake that the recipient
can look to years later and still remember exactly when they received it, there’s always a way, and an opportunity, to express how you feel. But if crafts aren’t your thing, an original piece of art or other handpicked item that you know your relative will love can have the same effect. Donate to a cause they support on their behalf It is a universally acknowledged truth that an LGBTQ+ individual in possession of good sense must be in want of social justice. Understanding the urgency of the issues affecting our state’s LGBTQ+ population—whether housing insecurity, HIV prevention and treatment, inadequate access to healthcare, or Republican state lawmakers attempting to scale back our civil rights—we appreciate any support we can get for our queer elders, siblings, and children. A failsafe gift for your LGBTQ+ relative is a donation on their behalf to a charity, political candidate, or cause they support, like Transform Cincinnati, Margie’s Hope, and Kaleidoscope, to give just a few Ohioan examples. Or, look for a commemorative gift, like Sufjan Stevens’ limited edition Love Yourself album, where the proceeds benefit LGBTQ+ organizations.”
new thing? Dinner at their favorite restaurant and a night out is one thing, but for the more adventurous and materially disinclined among us, a special occasion calls for a leap into the unknown. Whether a tarot card reading with a local psychic, a massage or spa day, tango lessons, or a drag queen for hire, it doesn’t have to be an elaborate LGBTQ+ getaway to be unforgettable. Rather, ask yourself: What will they love that they would never do for themselves? The go-to gift that literally everyone everywhere wants Now that you’ve reached the end of this basket of tips, I have a confession: I’m not really that great at giving gifts. I’ll defer to a gift card every once in a while when I’m not sure or time is short; I’ll throw money on somebody else’s gift idea. However, as just another gay cog in the wheel of American capitalism, I know a thing or two about must-have consumer products, and few get heaped with the praise that the Hitachi Magic Wand massager receives. And for good reason: everybody has sore muscles to blast away, and the intuitive design allows users to reach every nook and cranny in need of attention…or so I am told. Gift me one and I can tell you for certain.
Sometimes, experiences top things What better way to celebrate your LGBTQ+ relative than by giving them a new memory rather than a
••• Peter Kusnic is a writer and editor based in Cleveland, OH.
The perfect gift can be world-building. Wes Stevens of Club Switch in Youngstown says the best gift he received came from his local LGBTQ+ family when he took over his first bar in the area, Club Awesome, several years ago. “The community really came together to get the bar started, helping me buy my first liquor order and new bar stools,” he said. Though Wes is planning a move to Florida soon, he says the deep sense of family and community he found in Youngstown will stay with him forever. “It really moved me how so many people chipped in to create a safe place for everyone to hang and be themselves.”
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K i d at h e a r t LGBTQ+ Ohioans’ many ways of approaching co-parenting
By Ken Schneck Often the parenting situations in which we find ourselves look dramatically different than the ones in which we started. Separation, divorce, geographic moves, new relationships: there are myriad changes that can result in the phenomenon of co-parenting. We spoke with three Ohioans who are navigating the sometimes tricky waters of raising a child in a parenting situation that has undergone significant changes to find out where the sailing has been smooth and where the shores have proven rocky. Describe for us your current parenting situation. Lis, 39, Columbus: My ex and I had been
together about 17 years and we have a 14-yearold together. I gave birth to our son. [My ex and I] definitely were having problems and my transition process was the last nail in the coffin of our having any type of relationship. We separated two years ago when my son was 12.” Karen, 37, Columbus: [My partner and I] got together a year ago. Her previous relationship had been on the rocks for about 5 years, and they divorced completely in June. My partner’s child turned 9 in November and we are a unit. We have shared custody and live together. Alicia, 40, Oberlin: I’m a mother to an 8-year-old. My ex and I divorced in November and I moved to Ohio. He was one of the last people I came out to and I had to go backwards and do some damage control. He doesn’t want girlfriends to be around our daughter. He doesn’t live in the state, but my daughter and him Skype. What were those first conversations like about co-parenting and how did your child handle it?
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Lis: We hadn’t had many formal conversations about co-parenting. I’ve always been the primary caregiver, so I was going to keep doing what I was going to do and keep raising our child the best I could. The kiddo has handled it far better than I ever expected. He rolled with the whole thing and said “Ok.” He accepted it pretty quickly. Karen: I work with youth, and that’s definitely been a plus in this situation. Both of us always try to communicate a plan. There were times when we wanted to give space and time to the transition. We try to be as careful and deliberate as possible, and be intentional as to how I was introduced into the situation. Alicia: A lot was happening at once: our divorce, my daughter and I moving, my coming out. We’re definitely still in the process of figuring things out, but counseling has helped a lot. How would you articulate the challenges of co-parenting? Lis: The chief challenge lately has been travel. [My husband and I] recently moved down to Columbus from Kent because of my job. And it’s just kind of been a lot longer of a slog. And there’s always the stress of if [my ex] decides that he wants to change things. There definitely was a brief bit of posturing about not wanting us to move down here.
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Karen: My partner and her ex didn’t have a good situation. But there is a respect there as far as him knowing that his daughter is safe with me. My partner and I sometimes have different parenting styles. I give so much credit to her. She is one of the most loving beings. She was raised in a black home where there was a lot of, “No, because I said so.” It has been a joy watching her exhibit grace. The challenge has been having a shared language around disciplinary situations. For a while I wasn’t participating in them, but we intentionally created a plan in how to act and deal with challenges as they come up. Alicia: The challenges have been mostly between my family and my daughter. Most of my family approves of my [being LGBTQ+], but they did get in between my daughter and my girlfriend at the time, speaking directly to my daughter in not very positive ways. They kind of destroyed that relationship [between me and my ex]. Is there anything you might do differently knowing what you now know? Lis: I wish I had known that my kid would have taken it so well. I probably would not have stuck together in a bad relationship as long as I did if I knew my son was going be this chill. Karen: I think I wish we would have crafted plans before it got to a situation. The only thing I would really wish is that there is different engagement with my partner and her ex-husband. Alicia: I wouldn’t have brought my girlfriend into my situation so quickly. We met, hit it off, and I thought it was a good idea to introduce her to my daughter. It wasn’t. Not because my girlfriend was a woman but because she was a different person that my daughter didn’t know. I would have gone slower. What advice do you have for others entering into a co-parenting situation? Lis: Exercise patience. Keep the kid’s needs first and foremost. I teach undergrads, so my primary advice to my students on parenting is always don’t do it. <laughter> But if you have patience, it really can all work out. Karen: I don’t think [co-parenting] is something to be taken lightly. It is really our individual duties
of
to heal from past relationships. Seek counseling and support your child getting counseling. Be as intentional as possible. Have patience and grace with yourself and your partner. Hold a lot of space for things that are going to come up, which they will because of the nature of going from one parenting situation to another.
We know this is a tough time for all and we appreciate your support. We know we will get through this and encourage everyone to follow the guidelines for cleaning and social distancing that have been laid out by our local, state and national governments. Let’s also not forget to show compassion for our fellow man.
Alicia: I think you should always talk to your kids first. It made my mother really mad that I came out to my daughter first, but my daughter is the biggest part of my life. I want my voice on my identity and co-parenting to be the first and last that she hears on this. I would encourage everyone else to try to remain calm for as much of the process as they can. It really does make a difference.
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Puttin
t s r i F s e i l i m a F + Q T B G L g FAMILY EQUALITY FIGHTS BACK AGAINST DISCRIMINATION TOWARD THE LGBTQ+ COMMUNITY MASKED AS ‘RELIGIOUS LIBERTY’
By Megan Hageman On February 27, the House Committee on Oversight and Reform held a hearing to discuss the Trump Administration’s endorsement of laws preventing LGBTQ+ people from adopting children and forming families on the grounds of religious liberty.
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Dedicated to advancing legal equality for LGBTQ+ families, Family Equality is playing defense to these attacks. The organization continually works to provide resources for LGBTQ+ people looking to start a family through adoption, assisted reproductive technology, or other methods. Prizm spoke with Family Equality’s CEO, Stan J. Sloan, about his participation in the hearing, response to the attacks, and the organization’s next steps. Describe to us the importance of Family Equality’s work. We celebrated our 40th anniversary last year – so for 40 years we have been a professional organization for LGBTQ people with children, and working on the rights and programs that advance those families towards equality. Three years ago, we realized we had early indications that we were
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sitting on the cusp of an explosion in LGBTQ families, and last year in 2019 we released a study that made the front page of USA Today that showed that 63% of LGBTQ millennials plan on forming families. We believe in the sacredness of families and that [the opportunity] should be available to everybody. So, about two years ago we moved from just being about existing families to equally being about people who want to form families, working in assisted reproductive technology and in foster care to get those systems ready for this explosion of queer families. As an episcopal priest, what are your thoughts on these religious liberty attacks? [These attacks] are not about religion and they’re not about liberty. They’re about neither of those things. They are completely about people’s
prejudice and trying to legally discriminate and dressing it up as religion. I think for far too long, progressive clergy has allowed an evangelical and conservative clergy to assume the role of having religion on their side, and it’s time we stop that and we tell people that what is masquerading as religion is anything but. What would be the repercussions if no one fights these attacks? There are about a half million kids right now in the child welfare system. That number was growing because of the opioid epidemic and now with the economy falling and the crisis from COVID-19, that number of kids in need of foster parents or adoption will continue to rise. There are also about 1.2 million LGBTQ people at any one time waiting to form their families.
The ultimate victims of this hatred are the kids themselves. That’s why we’re fighting so hard for the Every Child Deserves a Family Act and that’s why we can be a part of helping to ease the pain of these kids. Can you explain your statement from the hearing, “I’ve always been taught the right to swing your fist stops at someone else’s nose”? They are simply saying the same way a person shouldn’t be forced to, let’s say, take birth control for their own self, that’s their own religious choice. They’re saying their decision to not work with LGBTQ people in the child welfare system is also their religious right. I am all for religious freedom, but not used as a justification for discrimination. If somebody is simply making decisions for how they want to govern their own behavior that does not infringe on another person’s right, then that is religious freedom. But, it’s when your fist instead hits another person’s face or their nose that you no longer have the right to swing your fist. They are hitting us in the face, and infringing upon our rights, claiming it’s about religious freedom and it’s not at all. What role does Family Equality play in this situation?
families. If, within the family structure, we’re able to create more systems of support of queer families with resources helping out queer families in need, we can do some really significant things for the broader culture as well as keep our families safe and help them form. What are some other ongoing issues that Family Equality is addressing? I think increasingly we will need to be a digital organization. Queer families are disproportionately rural with disproportionally lower incomes. Places where families are gathering or it’s easy for us to convene folks aren’t accessible to many of the families that need us most. So, what you will see from us in the future will be ways we can reach out to families that are meaningful and that can reach them no matter where they are or [no matter their] level on the socioeconomic scale. ••• Visit the Family Equality website for more information, to help end the discrimination in adoption and foster care, and for resources focused on family building and support.
We are one of many good LGBTQ rights organizations, however we are the only one that’s really laser-focused on LGBTQ
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For over 30 years, family building has been our family business. Cryobio is committed to getting it right when it comes to serving members of the LGBTQ+ community. Cryobio welcomed the Equitas Health Institute to our offices in November for a training session on providing culturally humble and competent care to the LGBTQ+ community. This training provided insight into the harsh realities that many members of the LGBTQ+ community face on their path to becoming parents. Our goal at Cryobio is, and has always been, to provide members of the LGBTQ+ community with a welcoming and safe space during their journey to parenthood. We have always tried to deliver the best support we can to anyone and everyone in their efforts to start a family or preserve their future fertility, regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity. There are many ways to be a family, and our mission at Cryobio is to provide care to anyone who needs help either forming a family or preserving their ability to form a family in the future. At Cryobio we can help guide you through the process of using donor sperm from our bank or using a friend or family member as a directed or known donor. We can also help if you are using your own sperm with a gestational carrier. For these family formation options, we provide the required testing, screening, and processing, as well freezing, storing, and shipping the sperm to you when you are ready to use it, wherever you are in the United States. We also provide fertility preservation services before you undergo hormone replacement therapy to help you preserve the ability to have a biological child of your own. For over 30 years, family building has been our family business. This idea is especially true as we begin continuing into the second generation of providing care with the children of our laboratory director, William C. Baird, PhD, HCLD, becoming involved in the infertility field and taking part in Cryobioâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s operations. This continuance allows our donors and clients to have confidence that their records will stay safe and available, and ensures that Cryobio will be providing donor sperm, directed or known donor processing, and fertility preservation for many years to come. If parenthood is something you are considering, visit our website at cryobio.com, and let our family help you build your family.
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For more information: 216-881-5775, or Karen.Anderson@jfs.ohio.gov April - May 2020 PrizmNews.com
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For over 30 years family building has been our family business. We believe that anyone who wants to be a parent deserves the opportunity to do just that!
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614.451.4375
Camp Lilac presents a genderaffirming alternative to standard summer camp options
By Ilona Westfall Kids stomp along trails through the woods. Others splash in the water nearby. More zoom across a zipline through the trees. Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re typical activities you can expect to see at any summer camp. But for the transgender youth who attend Camp Lilac in northeast Ohio, the experience is so much more than crafts and campfires.
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Started in 2017, Camp Lilac executive director, JodiLyn Solomon, and health director, Ann Williams, saw the need for a local trans and gender-diverse specific camp after Solomon’s trans child and Williams’s trans grandchild attended a similar camp in New England. Neither had experience running an overnight camp but Camp Lilac, for youth ages 12–17, was an instant success. “Before we were ready to rock and roll, both her grandson and my daughter had shared the news and we had more than 10 kids before we even had a place to go,” says Solomon. That inaugural year had 16 campers, which ballooned to 44 for its third season in 2019. That’s not counting staff, several of whom are former campers who aged out but still wanted to take part. With its mission to “provide a safe space where gender diversity is the norm,” it’s no wonder Camp Lilac has been such a hit. “Even if you’re in a friendly environment and a supportive school, one still spends a lot of time being the trans kid and explaining and being the representative of the group,” says Solomon. “It’s very tiring. Camp Lilac gives them a chance to not have to be the person explaining. They just get to come and be themselves.” At its heart, Camp Lilac is a space where campers are able to simply relax and enjoy the standard camp activities with a group that already understands. This lets campers who might experience body or voice dysphoria—things that can be tricky for adolescents to navigate even without the added stress of being trans—to freely go swimming and take part in karaoke or open mic nights. It also gets trans kids outdoors, something that can be hard for those living in non-supportive areas. While most of their time is spent doing standard camp fare—like archery, journaling, tie dye crafts, rock climbing and even camper requests (a cooking class was a popular activity that came from camper feedback)—the kids can sign up for two trans-specific activities: a binder and gaff-making workshop, and a hair and makeup session led by a trans woman. All activities are optional so campers can tailor their schedule to their interests and comfort level.
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Attendees have a lot of agency at Camp Lilac (there’s even a Camper Advisory Board), but there are a few things that Solomon hopes they all leave with. She emphasizes the “consent culture” they foster at the camp, as well as the new friends and sense of community the experience builds. Many stay in touch after camp ends, particularly online. “That gives them a support system that they might not otherwise have,” she says. That support system provides an important boost of confidence, says Solomon, who cites a camper from the first year as an example after the camper’s mom approached her at an event the following year. “She said that camp changed his life. He had been completely withdrawn and not going to the bathroom at all at school, didn’t have any friends, [and was] very shy and quiet. After camp, with the support of his friends, he demanded use of the bathroom, started an LGBT group at school and started doing theater,” she says. “Giving these kids confidence and allowing them to be themselves helps them also figure out who they are.” For more information on Camp Lilac, visit camplilac.org.
An authentic global dining experience awaits in historic German Village. Barcelona is a proud supporter of the LGBTQ+ community.
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JOIN US FOR
Saturday, April 11, 2020 10:30 AM - 12:00 PM Virtual Walk Challenge First and foremost—our thoughts are with you, your families, and everyone impacted by the COVID-19 (coronavirus) crisis.We are in unprecedented times. The COVID-19 situation continues to evolve, both nationally and in Ohio. With the ongoing incredible speed at which thingsare changing around us, and in an abundance of caution, we have shifted AIDS Walk Ohio (set to take place on April 11, 2020) from the “traditional” in-person experience to a virtual experience, in accordance with the most recentrecommendations from government and health officials. The safety and health ofour participants, volunteers, and staff are our top concerns, and feel this is notthe right time to plan for a large gathering. Despite the postponement of the in-person gathering, we are encouraging you to stay involved with the AIDS Walk Ohio (AWO) -- still donate and fundraise for HIV/AIDS service organizations which rely on the Walk funding. With our virtual event, we hope you will still invite friends and family to donate and support your cause.
For more details visit to aidswalkohio.com April - May 2020 PrizmNews.com
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Into the Woods
More LGBTQ+ affirming youth camps. Camp True Colors With sessions for LGBTQ+ identifying youth ages 12–17, transgender or gender expansive youth ages 7–17, and families of LGBTQ+ youth, this camp in Willow River, Minnesota offers a variety of options. Visit oneheartland. org for more information. QORDS Campers at QORDS (Queer Oriented Radical Days of Summer) spend a week in Durham, North Carolina doing the usual outdoorsy camp activities while also prepping for a musical performance. Band practices, drag performances and workshops on things like gender identity round out the experience. Visit qords.org for more information. Camp Quest Gender-inclusive cabins and a sweeping inclusivity policy are hallmarks of this secular camp in Clarksville, Ohio that promotes free-thinking, humanist values and science. The camp is open to all, regardless of religious beliefs, and other locations can be found throughout the country. Visit ohio.campquest.org for more information. For more options, check out the “Find a Camp” tool on the American Camp Association’s website at acacamps.org, or visit the Tegan and Sara Foundation at teganandsarafoundation.org.
Get Campy
Jake Young, Communications Director for Brave Trails, a LGBTQ+ leadership camp based in California, shares three tips for how to ensure a camp is a safe space for LGBTQ+ youth. 1.
Look for the American Camp Association accreditation logo on a camp’s website. The accreditation is really thorough and helps you get the security of knowing this is a safe space to send my camper.
2.
Read over camps’ inclusion policies. A great indicator of what an inclusive camp would look like is verbiage that includes sexual orientation, gender identity and gender expression. When looking at bullying, look for what groups are protected in their camp.
3.
Learn more about things you might be concerned about as a parent: the demographics, how many LGBT youth are being served, the policy around names and pronouns, housing, bathrooms, etc. If you can’t find them on the website, don’t stop there. Reach out to the team of directors to have your concerns addressed.
••• Ilona Westfall is a Cleveland-based freelance writer and regular contributor to Cleveland Magazine and FreshWater Cleveland. Follow her on Twitter at @IlonaWestfall.
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Efforts abound in Ohio to address menstrual and period health for LGBTQ+ youth
e c e Pi By Elaine Schleiffer
Sandy Varndell is no stranger to working through discomfortâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the driving force behind Out Support in Medina, and one of the organizers that helped move the needle as Medina codified LGBTQ+ protections into law in 2019. Talking about discomfort, anxiety, and dysphoria is a regular occurrence for Sandy, both through her work in Out Support and also as the mother of a trans son. .
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So when asked to talk about menstruation and period health for queer and trans teens, Sandy isn’t fazed. “Anxiety is a common theme,” she says of her conversations with trans youth and parents. “My son was very frustrated when spotting would occur.” Sandy’s son had been on testosterone for about three years when spotting started to happen. “That became a big issue for him,” says Sandy. “Continuing to spot after starting T would give him serious dysphoria. It ramped up the anxiety that he had. He kept menstrual products with him all the time.” Her son is an adult now and was able to access a hysterectomy. But even that was a hard solution to access. “He didn’t always live near a medical facility where he could get transknowledgeable healthcare,” recalls Sandy. “Where he lived had a big impact on whether or not he could access healthcare that made him comfortable, or just made him more anxious.”
anxiety around needing—and accessing— menstrual products. I Support the Girls (ISTG) is a grassroots nonprofit that is just five years years old, but has quickly spread from its roots in Maryland across the United States. Jodi Creasap Gee has been involved with a local Ohio chapter for two years, witnessing the growth of the program, and the incredible need they are trying to address. “Period poverty is something most of us think about in terms of third-world countries, not realizing it’s a local issue, as well,” Jodi says. “There are adults and teens in the United States, in Ohio, in shelters and schools and other programs who don’t have access to these supplies. That hits me on a really visceral level.” ISTG provides period supplies directly to organizations that interface with queer and trans folks who need access to these supplies, as well as organizations that serve
At the same time, more medical resources are being founded and growing across the state. For instance, Akron Children’s Hospital has a new Center for Gender Affirming Medicine, seeing children as young as 7 and providing services through adulthood. Dr. Crystal Cole is the Center’s medical director. “Providing transgender patients with a supportive environment and medical care tailored to their needs is one way to help these youths during a crucial time in their physical and mental health development,” she says. Sandy Varndell says she knows the new Akron program has already seen hundreds of patients. “It’s a phenomenal development,” she says. In a future that might feel shaky for teens coming out as queer or trans, organizations like Out Support can be crucial in connecting families and teens with resources. “There are a lot of factors around a trans identity that those experiences that lead to anxiety, especially when they’re experienced
Early and ongoing education about physical, sexual, and menstrual health is important for all youth, but there’s no replacement for a parent’s support and willingness to learn.
Gina* is a mother in similar circumstances, with a queer-identifying child in their middle school years. For her, parenting a queer teen has been a journey she prepared for at every step. “We talk about menstruation and sex ed starting really early,” Gina says. “So most of it is before they hit the age where they decide if they’re queer. But I make sure to include LGBTQ+ people and identities in every aspect.”
girls and women. At the end of 2019, ISTG developed collaborative partnerships with middle and high schools in Bedford, Ohio, to distribute period packs “so that students would have menstrual hygiene products available over winter break, when school was not in session,” Jodi says. “We would like to create more formal relationships with school districts where period poverty is an issue so that we can be better at supporting them.”
alone,” Sandy says. “Menstruation is one of those issues. We need to have more public discussions around it.”
Early and ongoing education about physical, sexual, and menstrual health is important for all youth, but there’s no replacement for a parent’s support and willingness to learn. Sandy Varndell has heard so many similar stories: “I’ve probably talked to 100 parents since Out Support was founded. You’re not the only family that has gone through this, or will go through this! Accepting and loving them exactly how they are is critical to their mental health.”
Queer and trans teens face much more than cultural or social hurdles as they journey toward their authentic selves. Politicians and laws compound the discomfort queer young folks face as they search for resources and medical support. This year Ohio Representatives Ron Hood (R-Ashville) and Bill Dean (R-Xenia) introduced Ohio House Bill 513, which “prohibit[s] certain procedures and activities intended to change, reinforce, or affirm a minor’s perception of his or her own sexual attraction, sexual behaviors, or identity.” Bills like these specifically take aim at trans youth, removing trusted community resources and medical procedures that can be identity-affirming and life-saving.
*Identifying information withheld in order to protect the identity of her child.
For queer and trans teens who are dealing with menstruation, and the anxiety, dysphoria, and discomfort that comes along with it, bullying is just one of the hurdles to face. Queer and trans teens experience additional layers of
••• Elaine Schleiffer is a community organizer, writer, and advocate focused on reproductive justice and queer rights in Cleveland, Ohio. Find her at elaineschleiffer.com.
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Love Makes A Family
Family Pride Network’s mission is to connect and support children, families, and prospective parents in the LGBTQ community through social events, educational programs, and professional resources. familypridenetwork.org
I have learned not to be afraid of the dark places, but to write about them and to share with the world that you can overcome. The Columbus arts community is so diverse and always thriving. I am inspired by so many young people in this community who are truly dedicated to their art and always striving to grow and go deeper and soar higher. I am Barbara Fant, poetry is my art and there’s no place I’d rather make it. Learn more about Barbara’s story and other Columbus artists, performances, exhibitions, concerts, public art and more at ColumbusMakesArt.com.
Additional support from: The Sol Morton and Dorothy Isaac, Rebecca J. Wickersham and Lewis K. Osborne funds at The Columbus Foundation. Photo: Joe Maiorana | Design: Formation Studio
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The LGBTQ+ Community Our Lives Our Hopes Our Struggles Our Triumphs Thank you to all of our readers, advertisers, contributors and models. We have been proud to serve you.
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Larry and Clara Rezash Ages: 89 and 87 Current Residence: Dayton The Reverend Larry and Clara Rezash are our parents. Sure, we might not have a direct biological connection to the father and mother of three, grandparents of two, and greatgrandparents of two. But with their 33 years of involvement with PFLAG, the indefatigable octogenarians have devoted their lives to making sure that the entire LGBTQ+ community has a supportive family, even if Larry and Clara have to step in and be that family themselves. Residents of Dayton since 1983, the list of their activism is far too long to list on these pages, but includes leading support groups, counseling an innumerable number of parents, speaking to countless audiences, and generally serving as visible paragons for acceptance and love. As the undeniable proof of the “age is just a number” axiom, Larry and Clara not only have our backs, but have also captured our hearts.
meeting. PFLAG will help them to understand that their child is still the same person. Yes, now the parents know that their child is gay. But that child is still the same person. Talk to us about what it has meant to be involved so closely with PFLAG. Larry: I couldn’t believe that they elected me to be president of PFLAG. I was president for two years and I had an opportunity to give my testimony about the organization to other communities in word and in deed about how we need to open our hearts to the gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender community. Clara: I was the chairperson for membership and finance for PFLAG for several years. When the work moved to computers, I said forget it. <laughs> I’m so proud to have been the “mama” to so many people over the years, because that’s what they call me. It’s a wonderful feeling. They all know that Larry and I love them bunches and bunches.
Sing the praises of your long-term spouse. Clara: With Larry being a pastor, and me being a minister’s wife, we’ve always cared about people all the time. He has compassion and love and concern for everyone, regardless of who they are. Larry: One of the reasons I married her is her being such a loving and outgoing person. She was the daughter of one of my favorite church members; her mother was an extraordinary woman who reached out to everyone. I knew right away I was marrying a woman full of love and compassion who always shares my concern for people who need our help. The intersection of faith and sexual orientation can be so fraught for members of the LGBTQ+ community. What do you have to say to LGBTQ+ people who are struggling with their faith? Larry: A lot of time there are different answers to different questions and that is perfectly alright. For someone who is [LGBTQ+], I would tell them that God loves everyone and it is our responsibility to reach out and love everyone. We all have different traditions and that’s perfectly alright. What about struggling parents of LGBTQ+ children? Clara: The first step for parents is to love their children compassionately. So many parents cannot accept their gay children. They have to work on that issue and go to a PFLAG
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What does it mean to you to be visible LGBTQ+ allies in your own faith community? Larry: We have a very strong relationship with our open and affirming church (Harmony Creek, a UCC church in Kettering, OH). We worship there every Sunday. There are so many people who have started coming there when they found out you could be gay and lesbian and be an active member of the church. When people in our retirement community found out I was a minister, they assumed we were fundamentalist. One man wouldn’t talk to me, and I finally asked him what was going on. He told me he grew up in a fundamentalist community and didn’t want to be around that. I said Halleluiah! He felt so liberated he could talk to me and share his faith in any way he wanted. Sell our readers on Dayton. Clara: It’s a manageable city. When I first came to Dayton 35 years ago, I had no problem on I-75. Now you wouldn’t catch me on there. That’s how much life has changed. People are very caring. Larry and I brought up our children here to be very mission-minded. This is a loving city, and that has made a real difference in supporting how we raised our children. As you look back over these many years of activism, what makes you feel the most proud?
You have spoken to so many audiences over the years. What’s are moments that stand out to you? Clara: One of the professors at the University of Dayton invited Larry and me to talk to their classes. There were maybe 50-60 kids in each class. I talked about my relationship with our son and Larry used biblical examples about love. At the end, we offered them a hug, but only if they were comfortable. There were lines of people waiting for hugs and there were tears coming down people’s faces. It was such a wonderful experience. Larry: There have been so many moments. I have probably given hundreds of speeches over the years and I’m filled with pride every single time. One of the most significant moments of my life was to be a part of the “Safe Schools” movement with the Centerville School District. I spoke with so many teachers and administrators and they were so open to help students know they are welcome in the school and accepted. We also love marching every year with PFLAG in the Pride parade.
This work has always been personal for us. The most important thing in our life is our family. When we were raising our three children, we tried to incarnate our love for all people. It was simply wonderful to see how our children accepted love as the essential ingredient in a meaningful life. Over the years, I am so proud of all three of our children, their partners, and our grandchildren, because they all reach out to love everyone without exceptions. ••• (As told to Ken Schneck.)
ONE OF
US Larry & Clara Rezash
Photo by Brian Sullivan One of Us is a bi-monthly portrait celebrating the diversity of Ohioâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s LGBTQ+ community.
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We Start by Listening. For information on office locations, hours, services, and programming visit EquitasHealth.com.
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