Issue 19 of Time In magazine focuses on the 60th Anniversary year of the Koestler Arts Awards. The Koestler organisation have showcased the scale and value of artwork created by prisoners over six decades. The Koestler Arts ‘Freedom’ exhibition October 2022 in the Southbank Centre (London) was curated by Chinese contemporary artist and activist, Ai WeiWei. Arthur Koestler’s vision is ideally conceptualised and presented in the exhibition.
Koestler must have wished for the longevity of his benevolent trust? As we all know it goes on from strength to strength. How many prisoners have been transformed thanks to Koester’s vision, and been given their ‘voice’ through the arts, and arts programmes in prison. Furthermore, not only prisoners, also the Prison educators and tutors who direct and prepare their students to submit the creative works. Therefore when considering the concept of legacy and access to creative activities, Koestler is to the forefront of our thoughts. And legacies include the essential for the wellbeing of prisoners to express thoughts on a reflective platform.
I encounter ‘Questions of Legacy’ on a daily basis in my work as Writer-in-Residence in Magilligan prison, and those who are committed to the rehabilitative process and the role that the arts occupy in prison. Legacy is actual: it is in the doing and the visible actions through the work of Prison Arts Foundation (PAF) and our supportive Board of Governors. Legacy is tangible through their commitment to prisoners and the creative outputs by prisoners in painting, ceramics, creative writing, textiles, sculpture, and music. Legacy is also supported by the prison governors who not only support participation in positive activities but understand the value for the prisoners’ families and the wider community. I take this opportunity to thank Governor Milling for supporting TimeInmagazine and the extensive work of PAF.
Our current magazine cover is a Pop Art depiction of Arthur Koestler and (cheekily!) is a homage to Andy Warhol and the Pop Art move-
ment. Warhol completed the background paintcover presented the text in inverted format. Warhol’s Factory was based in four locations in New York City between 1963 and up to his death in February 1987. Originally known as the ‘Silver Factory’. Beginning in the 1960s Warhol innovations using his Bolex camera and photo-development techniques reinvented portraiture and invited musicians, celebrities and artists such as Lou Reed, Edie Sedgwick, Bob Dylan, Lisa Minnelli, Bianca Jagger and Candy Darling some of which are discussed in our music and art pages.
The Factory creatively embraced the collaborative as artistic practice as an ‘after and beyond’ the process of art begun in isolation merging both as progressive methodology which is essentially part of my approach to teaching in the Creative Writing Workshops.
TimeInhas set aside our gallery pages for the work exhibited at the 2022 ‘Freedom’ exhibition (London), while also showcasing writing from prisoners in Magilligan and their awardwinning creative writing.
During the festive season all prisoners, their families, relatives and friends are in our thoughts. There is the equally important legacy within our creative work about how we reach out to each other and impact on each other’s lives.
Pamela Mary Brown Writer-in-Residence HMP
Magilligan
PAF ANNUAL GENERAL MEETING AND NEW WEBSITE
PAUL DORAN DIRECTOR OF REHABILITATION RETIRES
SOUTHBANK CENTRE ‘FREEDOM’ EXHIBITION
GALLERY PAGES
USE YOUR MEMORY
BOOK REVIEW: DARKNESS AT NOON
NORTH WEST REGIONAL COLLEGE AD:EPT
CREATIVE WRITING IN HYDEBANK
HONEST JIM TIME IN, TIME OUT
MUSIC PAGES: ICONIC ALBUM COVERS POP ART EXHIBITION IN NEWTOWNBREDA LIBRARY
Letters to the Editor, please address as: , Education Centre, HMP Magilligan, Point Road, Limavady BT49 0LR or placed in an envelope: TimeInc/o Library, HMP Magilligan.
Prison Arts Foundation (PAF) held their AGM, September 2022, in the Treacy Centre, Hydebank Wood College and Women's Prison. The event launched PAF’s 2021/22 ‘Activities Review’ as well as the new and modern website (www.prisonartsfoundation.com) which showcases the amazing artworks, writing and music created by students who engage with the creative workshops. The event was attended by around 30 key stakeholders from organisations working within the criminal justice system in Northern Ireland.
Speaking at the event Pamela Brown, Writer-in-Residencebased at Magilligan prison, talked about her work with PAF and the importance/impact of the arts and education in a prison setting. A female prisoner in Hydebank, who had engaged with Pamela’s writing workshops, via zoom in Ash House during lockdown, read from her Listowel and Koestler Arts award winning writing.
Those in attendance heard from an exprisoner whose path in life completely altered thanks to the arts and his engagement with education in a prison setting (NWRC at Magilligan) and after his release. He explained how he went on to complete numerous art related courses at his local college as well as being mentored by PAF. ‘He explained that ‘art is the biggest changer of lives in prison. It’s like someone put a stick of dynamite in my ear and blew my mind. Plus there is the sense of achievement.’ He currently works as an artist, has had work selected for exhibitions and gained arts commissions. Governor Taylor (Hydebank) subsequently asked if he would volunteer his time to work with a young male prisoner in order to support the creation of a piece of art for the Holocaust Memorial Day Trust; (youth competition) ‘ExtraOrdinary Portraits’ in partnership with Royal Drawing School.
The Board of Directors and staff at Prison Arts Foundation conferred congratulation and best wishes for a long and fulfilling retirement to Paul Doran, Director of Rehabilitation at the Northern Ireland Prison Service, in September 2022.
A firm supporter of PAF’s programmes in prisons, hostels and community settings Paul promoted collaboration not competition, encouraging partnerships with the community and voluntary sectors. Paul said, ‘After36yearsasasocialworkerinthejusticesystemI retiredlastweek.IwouldliketothankallthepeopleIworkedwith andpaytributetoallthosewhocontinuetomakeadifferencefor thebenefitofusall.‘
Artwork presented to Paul Doran on his retirement was a commissioned painting by PAF Artist-in–Residence Bobby Mathieson
PAF Prison Writer Published in ‘Quakers in Criminal Justice’ Newsletter, October 2022
An article titled ‘A letter to myself’ written by a student in Magilligan prison was included in the QuakersinCriminalJusticeautumn edition of their newsletter.
Writing in his editorial Jonathan Lamb said: “I feel that some of the most worthwhile items I receive are the contributions from those with lived experience of the criminal justice system. This particular issue contains multiple contributions from people currently in prison, many of whom are in Northern Ireland prisons. It is imperative that this publication gives a voice not only to those who work in the Criminal Justice System, but also to those who live, and have lived within it.”
Arts ‘Freedom’ exhibition in Southbank Centre in
the
anniversary of the Koestler Awards
‘DENIAL
Art Tutor from Magilligan attended the afternoon artists’ seminar and went on later to visit the Launch of the ‘Freedom’ Exhibition in the Southbank Centre. They were representing, respectively, the Prison Arts Foundation, and The North West Regional College . The seminar which had begun in the early afternoon, (as it happened completely sold-out’) represented the wide demographics of prison art tutors, including male and female institutions: Woodlands Juvenile Justice Centre (Bangor), HMP Barlinnie (Scotland), Atkinson Secure Children’s Home, Wormwood Scrubs, and the Isle of Wight to name but a few.
Speaking during the seminar, Lee Cutter producer of the exhibition, explained that Ai WeiWei’s
interest was rooted deeply in the people and their voices behind the artwork. Cutter explained that the exhibition space was solely the design concept of Ai WeiWei which explicitly replicated the average size of the regulation prison cell. The exhibition ‘installation’ presented fifteen (15) ‘cell spaces’ whose main feature was the size which has its own effect on visitors to the ‘Freedom’ Exhibition.
The ‘cell spaces’ contain between 78 to 131 pieces of art, and Ai WeiWei artistically set out nottoframehis work. There are quotes randomly ‘playing’ in audio from the artists in several cells. The exhibition is extremely intense. And each piece of art claims its own space. The ‘final’
section of the exhibition is a room with sculptures where poetry is on display along the walls.
There was an evening of spoken word: ‘Voices from Prison’ of readings and performances from written works entered in the 2022 awards which included prose and poetry created within the prison system. The event was hosted by Fusion, the awardwinning presenter, facilitator, and creative producer. The ‘Voices from Prison’ complemented the Exhibition as a whole. >>PMB
Our gallery pages showcase someoftheartworkandpoetry thatwasondisplay:
“Learning how to learn is life’s most importantskill.Throughusingourmemoryto itsfullestwecanunlockthevastreservoir of human potential that isn’t currently beingused.” Tony
Buzan
If you have trouble remembering something don’t ever let anyone tell you that you’re absentminded or forgetful. Everyone has an exceptional brain with the capacity for remembering large amounts of precise information and numbers. Your brain has the capacity to remember and hold all the information you’ve ever been told, read or have seen. Everyone at some point can dream of a past event and see everything they did that day in exceptional detail, even if it occurred 30 years ago.
If you think you have a bad memory the problem doesn’t lie with your memory, it lies in the way you are trying to remember. I too thought I had a bad memory. I would often get frustrated during my education and studies, as I knew I would forget the information. This also meant that anything I wanted to learn, I done so with a heavy heart.
This all changed one day when I went to the
enough it was right while at the same time I was astounded at how easily my mind had delivered the information. This continued to happen and before I knew it, I was at number 16 and writing down the corresponding item beside it.
I failed to remember even the first item during the first test the book provided, before it taught me how to remember. Now, by the time I got to the twentieth item, I quickly turned the page to check if I recalled all the items and in order. To my amazement I did, plus the added accomplishment of having the twenty items corresponding to the right numbers. I was astounded, happy and excited to continue reading. The book has opened my mind to further memory recall methods and techniques as well as made me realise that my memory is far better than I believed it to be. This also holds true of your memory. >>WV
“Itwasquietinthecell.Rubashovheardonlythecreakingofhisstepsonthetiles.Sixand ahalfstepstothedoor,whencetheymustcometofetchhim,sixandahalfstepstothe window,behindwhichnightwasfalling.Soonitwouldbeover.Butwhenheaskedhimself,Forwhatactuallyareyoudying?hefoundnoanswer.”
As it’s the 60th anniversary of the Arthur Koestler arts awards for prisoners I have decided to finally read one of his books, DarknessatNoon.
DarknessatNoonis set in an unnamed country ruled by a totalitarian government, which I found to be similar to Russia and Germany with a small feel for France. The main character Rubashov who was once a big player in the regime, finds himself arrested for treason and imprisoned awaiting execution.
While Rubashov, now an old man, awaits his judgment and sentence he writes a journal and reflects on his life and the events that led up to his arrest. While in prison his trail is set in 3 different hearings, he befriends other inmates not knowing exactly who they are or what they are in for. We hear accounts of his living conditions and treatment by the guards and other prisoners all while he is nursing a toothache, and awaiting that final outcome.
There is a lot of drama in this book considering the small environment that it is set in and, the few other characters that you would expect. Although this book is simplistic in its nature it is written with a lot of feeling and conveys a lot of emotion. I especially like the inner war the character has with himself trying to work out if everything that he done for his party and regime was right. And how not to show his fear of death and stick by his principles until the very end.
Although this isn’t the type of book that I would normally pick up and read, as usually I would not have had any interest in it. I found it an adventure through the lead character's mind and felt
happier after reading that it wasn’t a waste of my time. This books stands the test of time, it still feels relevant today, even though it has a feel of nearly 100 years ago, and the description of the prison and the cells have not changed much from then to now. Very thought provoking read.
Arthur Koestler wrote several significant novels, penned two volumes of autobiographical works, two volumes of reportage, an ambitious work on the history of science, numerous volumes of essays, and a vast body of other writing consisting of articles on subjects as wide-ranging as genetics, euthanasia, Eastern mysticism, neurology, chess, evolution, psychology, the paranormal and more. >>GL
DieErlebnissedesGenossenPiepvogelinder Emigration(1934 )
TheGladiators(about the revolt of Spartacus)
DarknessatNoon(1940)
ArrivalandDeparture (1943)
ThievesintheNight (1946)
TheAgeofLonging(1951)
TheCall-Girls(1972)
Any of us working in the prison environment already know about the importance and vital role of education in prison. Education in prison is the internal, rehabilitative process for each prisoner who is looking towards release and re-entry back into society, employment, family, and community. Education in prison is not only a set of idealistic aspirations; it is enshrined and defined by realistic goals that are achieved on a daily basis.
SEPTEMBER PRESENTATION
It was therefore fitting that during September on a morning set aside by the North WestRegionalCollege (NWRC) for the presenting of certificates to prisoners, recognising their outstanding achievements in the subject areas offered by the NWRC based at Magilligan. The categories included Art & Design, Barbering, Carpentry, Creative Writing, Employability Skills, English (literacy essential skills), ESOL (English for Speakers of Other Languages), Food Safety & Nutrition, CSR Card, Horticulture, ICT Systems Support, ICT (ICT Essential Skills), Joinery, Maths (Numeracy Essential Skills), Painting and Decorating, Plastering, Tiling and Welding.
ENDORSING THE ACHIEVEMENTS
‘Everything we do not have at our birth and which we need when we are grown is given to us by education.’ –Jean-Jacque Rousseau
Attending the event and endorsing the outstanding education achievements was Governor Milling, Paul Doran (Head of Rehabilitation), Kathleen McCaul (Head of Department), Stephen Hillis (Deputy Head of Prison Programmes), John Graham (Head of Learning and Skills, Magilligan) as well as the dedicated team of prison educators who deliver the NWRC courses in Magilligan. Music was provided by Prison Arts Foundation and Shaun Duffy. Refreshments were served after the ceremony.
Ifyouareinterestedinanyofthesubjects listed above: please request a NWRC brochure.
man founded the Compassion Prison Project . Everyone in attendance, prisoners and staff, agreed it was fantastic event.
Fritzi Hortsman explained, using her open and direct approach, that the people in front of her were not bad or evil but traumatised. She described how the body and mind reacts in certain ways to deal with trauma. Research into ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences) often make the link between negative experiences during childhood and incarceration. A study examining the impact of ACEs on a sample UK population in 2015 highlighted that, “the odds of having been incarcerated were 20.4 times higher for those who had experienced 4 or more ACEs compared to those who had experienced none” (Bellis). One of the ways it does this is a heightened fight or flight response.
N.K. Jemisin, a leading expert on the subject said “Fear of a bully, fear of a volcano; the power within you does not distinguish. It does not recognize the degree”. When humans are faced
The reactions are: heart rate increases, eyes dilate to see better, blood thickens, hands & feet get cold as the blood goes to muscles, lungs/breathing speeds up, ears perk up and hear better, skin sweats or look pale, pain perception reduces. This means if someone suffers from PTSD they could react violently to small threats because their brain just perceives danger. When your body initiates the Flight response it means you are running from danger, this is from our ancestors who had to run from predators.
Kenny Weiss another leading expert explained, “Trauma has a way of overwhelming us. When we are threatened, our first response is fight, flight, or freeze”. Freezing is fight or flight on hold, you stay completely still, another reaction our bodies use when confronted with a dangerous or traumatic situation. This means people instinctually freeze up and don’t move and they don’t think about this, it is an uncontrollable reaction, like the others, as in fear your brain has shut down all ability to think or react.
Another form which a lot of people have not heard of is flocking. Flocking occurs during stressful situations and when you are in fear you naturally move to a group, this is because your brain sees the benefit of strength in numbers.
Lastly, and the least known response, is Fawn. The Fawn response involves immediately moving to try to please a person to avoid any conflict. People go into a Fawn-like response to avoid abuse. They pre-emptively appease or please the person they are afraid of by doing whatever they can to stop any stressful situation. This reaction is different from the others as this is more of a prevention tactic than a reaction to danger. People who come from abusive homes or were in abusive relationships become submissive and people pleasers. They prevent the abuser or anyone from getting angry or annoyed by appeasing them. This is most common in women and children but men can also adopt this tactic.
After attending this conference and afterwards looking into these behaviours I can now see why a lot of people react in certain ways. When you see someone and think they are over reacting what we might not realise is the trauma that person endured in their life might be kicking their fight or flight response into over drive. Looking into this means we can understand why people behave the way they do and we can see why we ourselves behave the way we do. >>PC
“The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide you’re not going to stay where you are.” —JPMorgan
When I reflect on the positive outcomes that occurred during the pandemic, I include the opportunity to work with the female prisoners in Hydebank Wood College and Women's Prison, despite having to use zoom which had various ‘techno impediments/glitches’ necessitating at times ‘creative adjustments’ to the online delivery of all creative writing workshops.
One among many positive outcomes was the following which became evident during the Prison Arts Foundation’ AGM, 21 September 2022, when a female prisoner spoke of ‘her creative writing journey’ and also read some samples from her work. She gained a Silver Award at this year’s Koestler Arts for Life Story: APrisoner'sLove and a prize at Listowel’s Writers Week. She talked about the transformative effect of the arts, and how writing is fully interwoven into her future.
APrisoner'sLoveemotionally narrates the experience of giving birth to a child during a prison term. The closing paragraph addresses the arduouscontradictions experienced by women giving birth to children while in prison: ‘I ended up with post-natal depression and I want people to know what that experience is like when you are pregnant in prison. In prison, Idon’thaveanescape . Every memory of my son is inHydebank. People say when they get out of prison they don’t look back, but I have to look back because that is where the memories of my son are […] When I feel like I am getting trapped in my head…
I remember at the age of eight
Visiting my Dad, behind the gate
My Mother trying her best for me
And me so blind I could not see
That when I stay out late to fight
My Mum would cry for half the night
I started taking drugs and drink
And didn’t care what they would think
I went to court at twenty-three
A long term was given to me
My sentence was for fourteen years
The night of drugs left only tears
I had my baby boy in here
That broke my heart
It wasn’t fair,
That I could never raise my son
Or see him smile, like other mums
So as I gaze beyond the gate
I’ll do my time and quietly wait
He gives me hope, and for my kid
I want to stop the things I did
I know that deep inside of me
The little girl that used to be
Has gone away and in her place
I now can see a woman’s face
A woman who has changed and grown
A woman who must stand alone
No more the frightened little girl
But someone who could change the world.
>>LW
When a man is sentenced to a prolonged period of imprisonment he may feel that his life is over. He may feel that his parole date, the day he becomes eligible to be considered for release, is so far into the future that it will never come. But that is not the case at all! Indeed if that man is young when he is incarcerated he will have a great chance of one day winning his freedom.
The first thing he must do is keep out of trouble. Not get involved in gangs, violence, alcohol, narcotic use or smuggling anything in or out of prison. Keep as busy as possible each and every day. Get a job in the prison; it will ensure you spend much of the day outside your cell. Less time to feel depressed or negative.
A job in the prison’s kitchen would be a good bet for starts; no shortage of leftovers at bang-up. Another worthy job is at the prison library. Again, the inmate can read and educate himself to his heart’s content whilst staying out of his cell for long periods of time. Or at least
enlist to frequent the library as often as possible. Take good physical care of yourself. Make sure to regularly take advantage of opportunities to exercise in the prison yard. There should also be a gymnasium which is excellent for maintaining good health. Many prisoners also exercise in their cells.
Another great idea is to enlist in the prison education system. Just pick any subject you like and again this will not only get you out of your cell regularly, but you will improve your education standards as well. This positive attitude will not go unnoticed by the prison Governors or the probation service and will stand you in good stead when you eventually face the parole board.
Try to be invisible. Try to be the grey man that nobody ever notices. Anytime there’s trouble on your wing just make yourself scarce. Never be aggressive, threatening, or violent. Just pace
released; young enough to enjoy your second chance at life.
You can get a new passport and still go visit all those wonderful places you dreamt about in your cell. Early morning jogging on the beaches of Koh Samui. Or swimming with the dolphins in the Caribbean. Hiking the Glaciers of Iceland or sailing around Vietnam’s Halong Bay on a small boat. There’s an island for every day of the year in Halong Bay. Just pick one, jump ship, and spread your sleeping bag on the beach. Light a small camp fire and have a bite to eat. Maybe even a cold beer. It’s paradise on earth.
You can live like this for years, or even decades after your release. Getting various jobs and working your way around the world bit by bit. Just don’t lose sight of your goal; to be healthy enough to enjoy your second chance at life when it comes. Because come it shall. So keep the faith as the days pass slowly by because one day soon when you least expect it you’re going to be flying to freedom. And your second chance at
Honest Jim Ha Long Bay, in the Gulf of Tonkin, includes some 1,600 islands and islets, forming a spectacular seascape of limestone pillars.
‘I was a product of Andy Warhol's Factory.AllIdidwassitthereand observe these incredibly talented andcreativepeoplewhowerecontinuallymakingart,anditwasimpossiblenottobeaffectedbythat. ’
Lou Reed
Andy Warhol was born 6 August 1928 and raised in Pittsburgh, USA, as Andrew Warhola Jr. His name was Americanized to Warhol. He is considered the creator, innovator and nurturer of Pop Art. His artworks are instantly recognisable. If I said Campbell’sSoupyou would know what that was. No? Well, you’d definitely be living under a rock if you didn’t know Coca-Cola . Andy’s concept was that Campbell’sSoup and Coca-Cola was the same regardless of ownership, whether it was me, you, or the king of Spain. Warhol initially pursued a career as a commercial illustrator and after exhibiting his work in Galleries in the late 1950s, he became noticed in the art community as an influential, and controversial artist with his works including Pop Art portrays of Marylin Monroe, Cleopatra, Elizabeth Taylor, Grace Kelly, Muhammad Ali, and the more controversial Chairman Mao piece. This led to the creation of Andy Warhol’s “Factory”.
There were many famous musicians involved in the thinking process behind the Factory. Warhol managed The Velvet Underground’s first album The Velvet Underground & Nico . Famously, Warhol designed the cover for The RollingStonesalbumStickyFingers
which featured a Warhol designed image of a cover model in jeans, and on the LP release, featured a working zipper that when unzipped showed the cover model in underwear. At this time this was a pretty crazy thing for an album cover, even for The Rolling Stones . This is such an iconic piece of art that even today, people who worked with Warhol debate over who the model is that features on the album.
Warhol designed album covers for famous musicians like Aretha Franklin, Diana Ross, and John Lennon. Before and after his ascension to the throne as the king of Pop Art, he was creating inspiring, and very clever, outspoken pieces. Some of his finest work include Diana Ross SilkElectric , Aretha Franklin Aretha,and John Lennon’s posthumous MenloveAve.
Additionally, Bob Dylan wrote the song LikeaRolling Stone” one of Dylan’s most famous and iconic songs, and in my opinion, one of his best songs, alleged to be about a love triangle and referencing Warhol, Bob Dylan, and actress Edie Sedgwick (poster girl of the Factory). Edie was Warhol’s Muse in the early 1960s, and it was rumoured that Dylan was in love with Sedgwick and didn’t like the way Warhol treated her.
Warhol had a close call on the 31 may 1968, where he narrowly escaped an early death when radical feminist Valerie Solanas (who was working on a play with Warhol at the time, and due to artistic differences had a falling out) in true Solanas style,
she waited until Warhol was asleep, climbed into bed on top of him, and shot him in the chest. Valerie was subsequently imprisoned, and on numerous occasions institutionalised. This incident then led to the famous “Andy’s Chest’ song which featured on Lou Reed’s Transformersalbum, which was extremely successful, extremely influential, and in my opinion a source of musical information (as I sometimes like to call it), for any aspiring musician. It is rumoured that Warhol didn’t like the song, and when Lou Reed played it for him he let him know this..
It could maybe be said, Andrew Warhola Jr. was a major influence in the relationship between art and music today. The way MTV popped up, and the relationship between music and pop culture. On one hand we have Warhol’s Factory, a gathering place for amazing and influential musicians amongst Warhol and his art discipline. The artistic creator working firsthand with his subject matter.
This gathering of artistic minds and how this created this new sounds and styles. How these all break down is clear to me, even the way MTV advert where the MTV logo unzipped is a throwback to TheRolling Stonescover designed by Warhol. You have the visual style, the bright colours, the silk screening. Take a look at your own CD or vinyl collection, and you will clearly see the influence of Andrew Warhol today.
Now, ask yourself a question. Do you judge a CD by the cover? The same way you might judge a book. I know I have in the past, and still do, although ultimately it can make little difference to your musical experience or journey. What it does do is draw you into a genre of music that maybe before you wouldn’t have looked at or listened to. I remember buying music in HMV when I was younger, and was only starting my musical travels, and the album covers had a big influence on what music I bought.
Thinking back, before I knew what Warhol’s style even was, it was the albums that were influenced by Warhol that drew the eye the most, and left an impression. Your musical journey never ends, and through time I learned that sometime the best album has no cover, or isn’t even an album or even signed to a label. Soundcloud, bandcamp, all the streaming services have amazing artists on them, yet even the visual style of these services can be reminiscent of Warhol’s art, with silkscreening often being the style.
To sum up, any environment that brings artists together to collaborate will bring about energy towards creativity, whether its negative or positive, as long as it’s put into the art, it will be innovative, and perhaps have a long lasting shelf life, right next to Warhol’s Campbell’s Soup and CocaCola >>PH
s a movement, Pop art certainly changed the landscape. Never before had such plain, repetitive and (sometimes just plain cheap looking!) dull imagery been produced by artists and applauded by the art world and public alike.
Think soup cans (Andy Warhol), think large cartoon scenes (Roy Leichtenstein) and think plain looking filling stations (Ed Ruscha) and then you are in the realm of ‘Pop-Art’! Nowadays the movement has continued maybe more in the more casual guise as ‘Pop culture’! Then you have to think of Banksy, Yayoi Kasuma, Damien Hirst and all the young British artists (not young anymore!) or Y.B.A.’s as they were called. The whole movement seemed to be about painting the most trivial of everyday objects and then, just to add insult to the art establishment, mass produced them! What a brilliant two fingers up to the whole art movement don’t you think? They were taking a giant leap away from the tedious and in-grained (and most certainly corrupt) art establishments and galleries, and they not only succeeded but started a whole new movement into the bargain!
Obviously like anything else, there is a lot of different ‘branches’ of pop art now, and taking just one name for instance: Banksy, went down a very left-wing path with social commentary , political and extremist views on everything from the whole art structure to pollution levels and his own school days even! All this stemmed from the simple soup cans and everyday items and still has a very potent message behind the art itself, or has it? Art itself has that beautiful quality to constantly ask yourself these questions, (the old ‘subjective’ pun!)
OLDEST FORM OF EXPRESSION
Art is one of our oldest forms of expression, right from the time cave dwellers scratched animals on the walls to the last name you have seen in your local public toilet wall to the latest Gerard Richter painting worth a zillion pounds, we always have our own personal views on art in general and in this case of pop art, my own view is one of salutation, and a pat on the back to the artists! How they changed the landscape has to be applauded and these two images are my own take on the original works by the artists Keith Haring (telephone) and Andy Warhol (dollar sign). As I always leave these portrayals, I will leave you, the reader, with the simple question of “what is your take on the pop-art culture?” I hope you enjoyed my tangent about the subject, and will see you all in the next issue….R
Prison Arts Foundation (PAF) Artist-in-Residence Anne Scullin facilitated students to create artworks displayed at the exhibition in Newtownbreda Library, Belfast. PAF expressed a special thank you to all involved in showcasing the talent in Hydebank Wood College and Women’s Prison, including staff from Libraries NI, NI Prison Service, and Belfast Metropolitan College.
Due to Jupiter making it’s its closest pass with the Earth in 59 years on Monday 3rd of October. We thought we would take a look at our planets and solar system. Humans discover new galaxies, stars, planets, and other celestial bodies each day, all of which are several hundred or thousands of light years away from our Earth. A ray of light travels 300,000 kilometres per second. So, one light year equals 9.5 x 1012 kilometres. Not even a single planet in the Solar System is as far away as a lightyear distance from the Earth or the Sun, not even on the farthest possible position on its orbit.
A light-year is evaluated by calculating the distance a beam of light travels in a year. The universe is so endless that normal measuring units failed to capture its essence.
1 hour and 20 minutes, 2 hours and 50 minutes and four hours respectively.
So, the distances between Earth and all other planets can't be expressed in light-year units. Hence, astronomical units are used. It is, however, possible to calculate how much time a ray of light takes to reach a certain planet from the Earth or vice-versa. With correspondence to the average distances between the planets and Earth, the time taken by light to reach Earth from Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune are five minutes, 2 minutes and 30 seconds, 4 minutes and 30 seconds, 35 minutes,
Scientists think planets, including the ones in our solar system, likely start off as grains of dust smaller than the width of a human hair. They emerge from the giant, donut-shaped disk of gas and dust that circles young stars. Gravity and other forces cause material within the disk to collide. If the collision is gentle enough, the material fuses, growing like rolling snowballs. Over time, dust particles combine to form pebbles, which evolve into mile-sized rocks. As these planetesimals orbit their star, they clear material from their path, leaving tracks of space empty but for fine dust. At the same time, the star gobbles up nearby gas and pushes more distant material farther away. After billions of years, the disk will have totally transformed, much of it now in the form of new worlds.
Once planets form around a star they are referred to as planetary systems, which are defined as sets of gravitationally bound objects that orbit a star. They can consist of one or more planets, but may also include dwarf planets, asteroids, natural satellites, meteoroids, and comets. The Sun and its planets, including Earth, is known as the solar system. The term "extrasolar" system and "exoplanet" system refer to planetary systems other than our own. >>GL
“Light is the only connection we have with the Universe beyond our solar system and the only connection our ancestors had with anything beyond Earth. Follow the light, and we can journey from the confines of our planet to other worlds that orbit the Sun without ever dreaming of spacecraft. To look up is to look back in time because the ancient beams of light are messengers from the Universe’s distant past.”—Brian Cox
Support services are available for all in custody and their families. Speak to your Class Officer or the Family Support teamforfurtherinformation.
alcohol abuse.
AD:EPT work across the 3 prisons in NI and have vast experience helping people in custody. All AD:EPT workers are trained professionals who offer a sensitive and confidential service.
If you would like help and support with a drug or alcohol problem there are several ways you can contact AD:EPT :
● Ask an officer on the landing to arrange an appointment.
● Ask your medical officer or probation officer to refer you or at your resettlement meeting.
● Ask at your Induction/Core Harm reduction meeting.
The spiritual needs of inmates are catered for in prison as well as on the outside.
The main denominations have chaplaincies but others are also accommodated. You can contact a chaplain by asking your class officer to phone the office and leave a message. You can also have a request put on the computer system or you may speak to a chaplain at the Sunday Service and make appropriate arrangements.
Roman Catholic, Combined and Free Presbyterian services are held on Saturdays and Sundays. Check notice boards on wings for relevant times.
Foyleview services are on Wednesday (Free Presbyterian) and Thursday (Roman Catholic and Combined) from 4 – 4.30 p.m.
When someone dies we can feel a host of emotions including being abandoned, angry, guilty, shocked and sad. The death could have happened recently or a long time ago. Talking about how you feel when someone has died can help.
Cruse Bereavement Care are volunteers from the community and do not work for the prison service. Cruse will offer you a weekly hour-long session with a volunteer.
When you meet you can talk as much or as little as you want and the volunteer will listen and provide support.
All you need to do is to fill in a Cruse referral form, or ask your Class officer to contact Cruse. An appointment will be made to do an assessment, after which you will be allocated a volunteer who will see you each week on the same day.
If someone close to you has died, you can feel sad or upset. Cruse Bereavement Care is here to help.
Shannon Trust is a reading programme specifically designed for adults who struggle with reading.
It’s a peer led, confidential, one to one programme that can be worked through at the pace of the learner in short bursts of 20 minutes a session, with completion certificates earned at the end of each manual.
If you are interested in improving your reading or becoming a Mentor, there are several ways to get involved in the programme:
● Ask an officer on the landing to arrange an appointment.
● Ask an existing Shannon Trust Mentor or Learner to refer you.
● Fill in a sign up sheet available on the wings.
Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, to offer support to inmates who are having a difficult time. The service is available to everyone regardless of their age, ethnicity, religion, or sexual orientation. To make a request ask an officer on the landing. The scheme is independent of the prison authorities and completely CONFIDENTIAL.
Writing about creativity the Hungarian born writer, journalist and political prisoner, Arthur Koestler said: ‘The creative act does not create something out of nothing; it uncovers, selects, reshuffles, combines, synthesizes already existing facts, ideas, faculties, and skills.’ Koestler views the act of creation as translating into self-analysis, the result institutive self-reflection of the artist’s individual life experience. This philosophy in part explains why Koestler championed a platform for art created in prisons.
ARTHUR KOESTLER
Koestler co-founded Koestler Arts in 1962; he set up the annual scheme to award ‘creative work in the fields of literature, the arts or sciences by those physically confined’. These awards addressed the fact that there was little precedent for work by prisoners being judged and rewarded by specialists outside the prison system. When the first set of Koestler Awards took place in 1962, there were approximately 200 entries. 2022 marks the 60th anniversary of the Koestler Awards with over 7,000 entries judged by more than 100 experts from different fields and other artistic related disciplines. Koestler
Selected for the Southbank Centre London ‘Freedom’
Exhibition: ‘Taste is the Enemy of Art’ Koestler Arts 2022
Themed Category Taste: Commended Award >>PM
was curated by Chinese contemporary artist, documentarian and activist Ai Weiwei.
This year’s winners of Koestler Arts awards in Magilligan is undoubtedly a pleasant surprise to
greater than any other yearfor the writing categories. Writer-inResidence Pamela Brown commented: ‘We encountered many challenges after returning to face -to-face classes in 2021 and into 2022, but ultimately reestablishing the group and build-
ing new projects and writing for submission had a shorter production time frame.’
26 Koestler Arts Awards in total were conferred on the group, encompassing 15 individual writers and included 1 Platinum Award, 1 Gold Award, 3 Silver Awards, 4 Bronze Awards, 4 Outstanding Debut Award, 1 Under 25s Special Award, 7 Highly Commended Awards and 5 Commended Awards. A glittering conferral of awards. The writing categories included Life Story, Flash Fiction and Short Story, Poetry, Non-Fiction, Blog, Essay, Article and Review, Longer Fiction and Novel, Poetry Collection, and a Graphic Design award for Time Inmagazine. This reflects the diversity of
talent and the range of skills in the writers group.
PAF’s Executive Director Fred Caulfield offered his congratulations ‘to everyone who submitted an entry to the Koestler Arts during 2022. After a difficult year you have proven, once again, that perseverance has really paid off. The number of awards this year has been exceptional.’ Exceptional, indeed!
Prison Arts Foundation (PAF) artwork at Magilligan also received a Highly Commended and Commended Award, while the NWRC art department gained a Silver Award, a Bronze Award, a Highly Commended Award and a Commended Award. All fantastic artistic achievements. Congratulations to everyone.
2 poems ‘Ach Sure You Know’ and ODEtotheBirdswere selected for inclusion in the ’Freedom’ Exhibition, Southbank Centre in London, 27 October-18 December and curated by multimedia artist Ai Weiwei. Artworks selected include 2 pieces from the PAF group at Magilligan, 7 from the NWRC, as well as 7 PAF supported artworks from Hydebank and 12 from Maghaberry. >>PMB
T‘his is it,’ I said to myself. ‘I have finally hit rock bottom.’ Day one on the streets. Not a penny to my name, not a change of clothes and nowhere to lay my head tonight. Perversely, I wasn’t afraid, or lonely. I was finally free and it was strangely exciting. The novelty soon wore off as the truth of what that meant dawned on me, but for those first few days I was exhilarated. I didn’t care that the rain was coming down so fast and so hard; it was like a baptism, washing away my old life, ushering in a future full of untainted potential. I had finally managed to escape the life that, up until that very moment, had weighed so very heavily on my daily existence, exerting an insidious tension upon every single fibre of my being until each individual strand began to slowly unravel. Years of torment and turmoil that would eventually lead to my undoing, although I did not know it then as I stood revelling in my new-found freedom. There was a sudden rush of air into my lungs, and I gasped as if I were a baby taking that first glorious breath of life. The air travelled deeper into my chest than it ever had before, rejuvenating my soul and taking with it
the burden of pain and anger as it escaped from my mouth again.
As I stood still in the middle of the packed street in the city centre, the people around me hurried along about their business, carried along in the sea of grey and navy suits, completely oblivious to the tempest that was raging in my head, and I was thankful for that. How could I even begin to explain how I was feeling and what had happened. I couldn’t even justify it myself until many years later. I looked around me, and for the first time in my life I had no destination and no expectation. As a child, I had a list of things that I would do if this day ever came, with plans and ambitions, but now that it was here it evaded me completely. I had a weightless feeling that defied logical reasoning. I had no shelter and no resources, but I also had no immediate problems.
The rain began to settle as the September evening drew to a close. The sky above me had a pleasant amber tinge, and the last of the day’s heat was quickly drying the ground.
The city centre began to drain itself of the daily commuters, and the shop workers began switching of their lights and rolling their shutters in prep-
aration for going home. Even before the night sky was on full display, the streets were empty except for a few stragglers. This was the first time that I experienced doubt about what I had just done. Had I made the right decision? Would everything going to be okay? I was behaving like an animal that had been born into captivity, evolving to accept the confines of the cage it lived in, and one that cannot survive in the wilderness because they are dependent on their captors. ‘No’ I told myself firmly. ‘You can’t go back there.’ I certainly didn’t want to go back to that house and thatperson, but I do think that I wanted to go somewhere that was familiar.
Finally embracing the situation I now found myself in, I set about trying to scrape together some sort of a plan. I began thinking about somewhere I could go for the night. I had no friends that I could turn to, she had seen to that. I couldn’t go to my family for help, she would find me there and take me back. I couldn’t risk that. ‘I need to do this on my own’ I reassured myself, ‘one night outside won’t kill me.’ As this internal dialogue was playing out in my head I became aware of the other people who began to emerge looking for shelter for the night. I don’t think I had ever really noticed how many homeless people there actually were in this city. Why would I have, I had my own problems to worry about. I began to guess what their stories were. How many of them had started out like me, trying to escape their own personal hellish landscape, making their stand, determined to make it on their own. Would it be different for me, or was I getting a glimpse into my future.
before. This was just another one, and with any luck it would be the last. Infused with this fortified determination, I refused to take my rightful place on the ground in a shop doorway. I remained on my feet, and began moving. I still had no destination in mind, but afraid of how my life would turn out if I stopped for even a moments rest, my feet kept on walking throughout that first night. By daybreak, my feet were blistered from the constant movement, the muscles in my legs burned painfully, crying out for respite, but I refused to give in.
“Idon’tthinkIhadever reallynoticedhow manyhomelesspeople thereactuallywerein thiscity.”
Over the next few days, a plan began to emerge and after a few short weeks I was able to secure myself a small bedsit. It wasn’t a palace, and in fact it was barely habitable, but it was mine. What it lacked in appearance it made up for in symbolism. I was the man of the house, my rules. This shabby space was my haven. I managed to defy the odds. I felt like I had clawed my way out through the circles of hell, and marched proudly through purgatory, and on the first night on that bed with broken springs I slept soundly in paradise. >>DO’N
‘AchSureYouKnow’
Selected for Koestler Arts
‘Freedom’ Exhibition
‘ Achsureyouknow’ >>PC
It was not long before little bags of escapism appeared. Lighters giving life to the flames of gratification causing the needles to almost glisten heavenly. It seemed to me that there was a collective sigh of relief for my destitute comrades as the calmness coursed through their veins, eyes rolling in ecstasy. I had never found drugs to be alluring, but even I cannot deny how seductive the notion seemed. Was this going to be the answer I was looking for- even just for tonight. I still shutter today at how close to that ledge I came that night.
‘Stop this nonsense’ I told myself firmly. I was not going to start my new life with negativity and doubt. It would not turn out like that for me. I had endured hardship, and overcome hurdles
the words we know we utter after telling a sad narrative a sequence of events that lead to imprisonment words we say to dull the sting in hope we do not show our pain misleading friends and family that we are not hurting our inner thoughts and feeling so that when people say the phrase “shit happens” we feel like the piece of shit that ‘happened’.
The visits room was unusually quiet for a Saturday morning. The smell of fresh coffee tickled Ben’s nostrils as he waited patiently for his family to arrive. Looking around him he noticed the other guys who were also waiting. One stood out, he was wearing a green jumper and grey track bottoms and the hideous black Velcro trainers that the jail provides when you come straight from the police station. He wondered about the guy’s story. Ben reflected back on the first visit he got and how emotional it was. He hoped that the new guy’s visit would go well for him.
Ben checked his watch, it was 9.10am, and the visit was booked for 9.15am. Not long to go now. The excitement started building at the thought of seeing his sister, his brother in law, and his nephew and niece. It had been two weeks since he last saw them. His other sister’s family was up the week before and he couldn’t wait just to put his arms around his sister and the kids.
Ben looked smart in a white short
Chelsea boots. He always made sure that no matter how he felt on the inside his family would always see him tidy and well turned out on the visits. He heard a bit of hustle and bustle outside the visits door and then noticed a small face pushed against the glass. It was his niece, and he could see her searching the room until she spotted him.
‘Uncle Ben’s sitting there mum.’ His niece shouted in an uncontrollable, excitable, high pitched yell.
Ben laughed and waved at her so she knew that he had seen her. Then the funny faces started, this is what Ben looked forward to the most, making the kids laugh and having such a good time that it would take his mind off where he was, even if only for an hour.
The door finally opened and Annie, his niece, ran at him with arms wide open and the biggest smile you’ve ever seen. She leaped up into his arms and hugged him with all the love
put her arms around both of them and gave Ben a big hug and kissed him lovingly on the cheek.
‘How are you bro? Are you ok?’
Ben reassured her that all was well as his nephew Olly nipped at his arm to get his attention.
He put Annie down and grabbed Olly by the head and rubbed his hair and gave him a big hug. Olly was getting too big to lift up now and anyway he just wanted to nip and pull faces with him
‘How’s things, you big knobber?’ was his brother in laws term of endearment.
Ben shook hands with him and sat down at the table.
‘Everything’s good Goose, I’m just living the dream.’ Ben always raked Carl calling him Goose, like the guy out of the Top Gun. Carl used to be in the Army Air Core and flew the Apache helicopter in Iraq and Afghanistan. They en-
each other.
Carly went up to the shop to get some goodies for all of them for during the visit. It was always the same, which Ben loved and looked forward to. A tin of coke, a cup of coffee, a chicken and bacon sandwich, a bar of chocolate and a packet of Tayto salt and vinegar crisps. Last and by no means least a delicious double chocolate muffin.
Carly came back to the table with a red plastic tray full of munchies. Ben actually felt excited, what an hour this was going to be, he had the people he loved with him and loads of tasty snacks to eat for the duration of the visit.
They began to tell Ben about what was going on outside in the real world. Ben got tore into the bacon and chicken sandwich. He was almost inhaling the sandwich instead of eating it. He only tasted bacon on the visits and it tasted really good. The laughing and joking at the table was effortless and a reprieve for Ben due to the depressive nature of his surroundings. It was so nice for him to have them there. Carly asked Annie to go and draw her uncle Ben a picture in the crèche and asked Olly to go and help her.
‘They’re ok where they are surely,’ Ben looked at Carly. ‘I’m enjoying getting my cuddles.’
Carly gave Ben a look which he recognized. He could see that she had something she needed to talk about and looked slightly upset.
‘Ok sis.’ He said, as he looked towards Carl wondering if it had anything to do with him why Carly was upset.
Carly laughed as she saw Ben giving Carl the evils and reas-
sured him that it was nothing to do with him. Ben hugged the kids and sent them into the crèche.
‘So, what’s wrong love?’ Ben could see that whatever it was, it was causing his sister a lot of pain.
Carly was finding it hard to open up to Ben. He took both of her hands and told her just to take her time. Her eyes had filled up and she was shaking quite a bit. Carly looked lovingly into Ben’s eyes and told him that she had been eaten up with guilt for nearly thirty years with a secret from when they both lived at home as kids.
Ben was puzzled and thought about what could have been so bad to make her feel like this, and feel that she couldn’t tell him for nearly 30 years? Ben got a really bad feeling in his stomach. He felt a bit sick with anticipation.
board all over the floor?’
Carly asked Ben if he remembered the time that him and his older brother were put in the bath and beat with a belt over a shampoo bottle getting punctured and the contents going all over the carpet.
‘Of course, how could I forget that?’ Ben elaborated on what he remembered. ‘I remember sitting in the living room, watching TV, and hearing my name shouted in a way that wasn’t for anything I’d done right. Then I heard Joe’s name being shouted in the same way, which meant trouble. We both made our way up the stairs and to the bathroom, where dad was standing. The look on his face was a familiar one, we’d seen it many times before, but we weren’t sure what we had done this time.’
‘What’s that?’
‘What’s what?’
‘That running down the side
‘I don’t know, it’s nothing to do with me. I never done it.’
‘I didn’t do it either, it wasn’t me.’
‘Must have been the fairies that done it?’
‘Must have been.’ Ben said.
Then Ben got an almighty thump on the side of his head.
‘What was that for?’
‘For being a smart mouth you wee shit. Anything else to say?’
‘No.’
‘Right who put a hole in the shampoo bottle? Tell me now or both of you are getting it.’
Ben and Joe looked at each other then swore they hadn’t done it.
‘Right, strip, both of you. Everything off.’
As both of them were taking off their clothes their Dad filled up the bath with cold water. This was something new, usually they would have been giving a beating so they wondered what the
cold bath was all about. It didn’t take long to find out. Joe was grabbed first and thrown into the bath, he started to freak out and sounded like he couldn’t get a breath. He was submerged in the freezing cold water. The water went everywhere as he splashed about trying to get out. Ben was terrified and started screaming. He was grabbed and thrown in the bath as well. Ben tried to get out and slipped and hit the back of his head on the taps. There was a deep cut on the back of his head. Joe watched the blood mix with the bath water. Their Dad didn’t notice that Ben was hurt because of his fit of rage. He took off his thick, brown leather belt.
sat in the bath, their two bodies shaking uncontrollable from the effects of the cold water.
‘Do you remember what it’s like in the winter time when your hands are freezing cold and you hit your hand off something? Do remember how sore it is?’ Their Dad asked. Then he laid into them with the belt. Both boys screamed for him to stop but he carried on like a mad man, beating them on their heads and arms and upper bodies. It must have lasted for ten minutes but to the boys it seemed like it would never stop.
They heard their Mum trying to get into the bathroom but the door was locked. She was screaming for their Dad to stop. He still had energy left and he was determined to use it up. Each time the belt hit one of them they would scream. The pain was unbear-
able.
Then it stopped, and their Dad opened the bathroom door and walked out. Both boys sat crying in the cold water which was now rose coloured as the cut on Ben’s head was still bleeding. Also, there were fresh cuts all over both boys, adding to the discolouration of the water.
Their Mum came in with beach towels, and while crying she covered the boys and got them out of the bath. She took them into their sisters room, which was just beside the bathroom and dried them off, taking care not to dry them too hard. They were both covered in thick blebs and bleeding from several cuts. Their bodies black and blue from the waist up. Their lower half was protected being underneath the water which the belt couldn’t get at.
The boys swore to their Mum that they hadn’t busted the shampoo bottle as she put a blanket round them both to get some heat into them. She told the boys to sit quietly in their sisters’ room and made her way downstairs to their Dad. The boys couldn’t make out what was being said because of the shouting but they knew their mother was sick of the violence towards them. All of a sudden they heard their Mum screaming and their Dad shouting at her. Ben got up, threw the blanket off him and ran downstairs to find his Dad gripping his Mum by the throat and choking her where she had fallen onto the sofa.
‘Get off her.’ Ben shouted at the top of his voice.
His Dad wasn’t listening and continued to choke his Mum. Ben ran over to the fireplace and lifted the heavy poker. He hit his father as hard as he could on the back which made him let go of his Mum. Ben knew that his fa-
ther would start beating him again for this but he didn’t care, as long as his Mum was able get away.
Ben’s Dad turned his attentions to Ben, and lifted the poker and started to beat him with it. Unbeknown to their Dad, their Mum had phoned a friend from the church who lived around the corner. She pleaded with him to come to the house and intervene, fearing for her and the boys’ safety.
Ben was trying to block the blows from the poker with his hands but it didn’t do any good. He had been hit a few times on his head and was bleeding profusely. He was beginning to feel dizzy. He thought he was going to pass out when the front door burst opened and his Mum’s friend from the church ran in. He stood between Ben and his dad.
coming downstairs because he was terrified of getting beaten again. From that time on Ben lost all respect for his brother. Things were never the same between the two of them. Ben’s Mum got the two boys dressed, and took them to the hospital. Joe had cuts and bruises but Bens wrist had been broken, his collarbone cracked and he needed stitches in his head from where he had hit it off the taps in the bath, as well as from
the shampoo bottle. She couldn’t admit, she had been terrified of being beaten. Carly had lived with this guilt for years, and didn’t know how to tell Ben the truth. It was eating her up inside.
Ben took Carly’s hands and told her that it was ok. He told her that even if he had known it was her, he would have taken the blame for it anyway. They looked at each other and began to cry.
Carly told Ben about how she felt about all the awful things she had witnessed over the years. The violence in the family home and the change she had seen in Ben over the years.
“I witnessed you become more withdrawn and angry the more stuff happened, and how protective you became over us all,.”
‘What the hell have you done?’ He asked Bens Dad.
The neighbour looked at his hands covered in blood as he held Ben in his arms. He noticed Ben was bleeding profusely and told his Mum that he was going to call the police.
Ben’s Dad told him that if he phoned the police he would never be found again. He told him to get out of the house. Reluctantly he left, knowing that if he stayed any longer he would have ended up covered in blood as well.
Ben’s Dad lifted the car keys and left the house. Ben and his Mum started crying in each other’s arms and sitting on the sofa. They sat there trying to console each other. After a while Joe came from upstairs and joined them on the sofa. He told Ben he was sorry for not
where his dad had hit him on the head with the poker.
Ben’s Mum held him when they got home. She told him that she was so proud of him for sticking up for her. Ben just smiled and told her that his Dad was never going to hurt them again like that. His Mum noticed a look in Ben’s eyes that told her Ben had changed after this beating. Ben would never be the same again. That was the day he changed for good and he would never stand by while any of his family was hurt again.
Ben stared into space after sharing his memory of that bad time in his life.
‘You ok bro?’ Carly asked him. Ben said he was and asked his sister about what it was she wanted to tell him.
Carly started to cry. She told Ben that it was her that burst
‘I remember how that day changed you Ben. I witnessed you become more withdrawn and angry the more stuff happened, and how protective you became over us all, apart from Joe. You never really paid much attention to anything about Joe because I think you felt like he let you down, not coming down the stairs with you to stop Dad from hurting Mum. Even though he was six years older than you. I’ll never forget how I felt, hearing it all unfold when I was hiding in the kitchen. It still sends shivers up my spine when I think about it. I remember that every time, after that day, when dad would get angry, and go to hit one of us, you would run and stand in between us, and take the brunt of the hiding. I hated you doing that but I really loved you for it at the same time.’
Ben smiled at his sister. Carly then told him about remembering the final time that their Dad lifted his hand to them.
‘The craziest time was when Dad had come home from work and me and Mum had been arguing about me having a relationship with Carl, because I had let it slip that he was a soldier. Dad went ape shit, and told me that I
wouldn’t be seeing him again. I started arguing with him and Mum and told them that if they didn’t accept him as my partner I would leave home, and never come back. Dad grabbed me by the throat really hard, and I just remember you coming over with a face I didn’t recognise, and grabbing Dad’s hand and taking it off my throat. You pushed him onto the sofa, and told him that he would never touch any of us again. Dad saw red and ran at you with his fist clenched, but noticed very quickly that you also had your fist clenched. I remember you and Dad faced off. And I recall your conversation.
‘Whys your hand clenched?’ Dad asked.
But you never replied. You just stood face to face with him and you never backed down.
‘Go on lift your hand I dare you,’ I remember Dad saying to you.
‘You lift yours,’ was your response.
‘Do you want me to lift mine?’ Dad asked.
‘If you do it will be the last time you lift your hand to anyone again.’ You said in a calm voice but your body language not unlike a coiled spring ready to go off.
‘Are you threatening me boy?’ ‘No dad I’m not threatening you, I’m making you a promise that if you ever lift your hand again, I will lift mine, and I’m not a little boy anymore, and I can also hit very hard.’
‘You and Dad just kept staring at each other,’ Carly said. ‘I thought that all hell was going to break loose, until dad did the unthinkable and backed down. Not that he was afraid, but I think he knew that he would have to kill you to get you to back down. That’s when I saw my little brother become a man. Do you recall what he said?
‘I’ve seen evil faces in the past and throughout my lifetime. Ben’s was one of the worst, it reminded me of my younger self which frightened me. It’s been a long time from I have seen someone with that much rage.’ That’s what Dad said as he sat down on his recliner chair.
‘Was it any wonder your temper
ended up breaking?’ Carly said to Ben as they slurped down a mouthful of coffee.
The kids came back in from the playroom, and Oliver came straight over to his uncle Ben. He plonked himself on his knee and put his arms round him.
Carly whispered to Ben that because of the violence growing up and how protective that he had become over the family she always feared that something like this would happen. She reassured Ben that his actions didn’t define him. He was a good person and to never forget that.
Ben understood what his sister was saying, but still found it hard to come to terms with what he done, and the people he hurt, and the negative ripple effect it’s had on his whole family.
Ben looked at his sister thinking that all he can do now is do the best with the time he’s got left, and look forward to the day he is released from prison. He will be able to spend time with all his loved ones and try and make up for the time he has lost out on.
The hour passed too quickly. Ben got that sinking feeling he always got when it was time for the visits to end. Ben gave his nephew and niece a big hug and Carl put his arm around Ben and told he loved him and that he would see him soon.
Carly finished putting the rubbish in the bin and as the others left she gave Ben a huge hug. She told him she loved him, and that she was so sorry for what had happened.
Ben told her he loved her as well, and let her know that there wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do for her.
As Carly walked out the visits door, Ben got up and grabbed his pass and walked back over to the wing, back to porridge… >>BT
All I can see is Anger and Pain, broken hearts, shattered dreams of ruined men. Trapped in a box, a sea of metal and locks. An eager target for Despair.
Not on a journey of fulfilment and enlightenment. Rather a full-board excursion through hell. Temptation and torment, sacrifice and suffering, The cost of a ruined man’s fare.
All I can see is Hope and Desire smouldering pitiably, stifled and starved. The ruined man can no longer see, no longer feel, no longer breathe. A subjugated target for Despair
But the fire is not out yet, hungry for food and care. Fuel to drive ambition and change. In this new light no shadows of apathy, cruelty or pain, the joys of spring once again.
The potential of a ruined man’s fate.
A long time ago I went through a phase of drinking at weekends and partying for days but after a while it took hold of me and ten years later I found myself on my knees
Skin yellow teeth are black my ribs are protruding out of my back even though I’m a shadow of my old me I still can’t resist the taste of the devil’s tea.
LOVE STORM >>AC
I want to write a poem of love, I want to write about a storm, But all I write is inside my mind, Addiction every day in and out, Ruined my drunken life, An escape artist, I don’t even know what I am running from, Become one with no-one, Drink till death do us part, Welcome to my love storm.
>>PM
From blackout to incarceration
There is a stain on my soul
On my horizon
All syntax askew
In my unique library of love
A world without corners
As every shape, sound and shade
Comforting, conforming, And consumed by storms
Kinetic sparks Hell is with me
And life echoes eternally.
When I noticed the birds I saw freedom I remembered what that felt like I had forgot who I was I had lost all hope
Bleeding from a sin, committed to a cause, hand to hand, and blood from stones, an empty pocket, to hold your hand. two legs to carry on, one breath to say it all
One breath to say it all, one breath to sing nothing, one hand to close to a fist, two seconds to change your life
You are, bleeding from a sin, committed to a cause, and from one hand to another, you pull blood from stones, with an empty pocket to hold your hand, one thought too far, to carry out what you wish you hadn’t planned to dream means you are not awake, but I can’t stop sleep walking a pocket full of money, has no room to hold a hand.
Until the moment I watched the birds through the bars on the window.
Magazine Education Centre
HMP Magilligan Point Road
Prison Arts Foundation
Unit 3, Clanmil Arts & Business Centre, Northern Whig Building, 2-10 Bridge Street, Belfast, BT1 1LU
Phone : 028 90247872
Email: info@prisonartsfoundation.com
Prison Arts Foundation (PAF) is a registered charity that seeks to provide access to the arts for people who have offended in Northern Ireland. Our mission is to inspire creativity and encourage personal and social change in offenders within the criminal justice system, through the arts.
Yes there’s been trauma and things have went wrong
But you don’t need to block it With a pill and a bong
Almost eight months now I’ve been sober and clean
I’m out of the darkness
And feel like a teen
Drugs, they have ruined me and my family too
My mind, it was crazy
My mind was a zoo
But now it’s all over, I’ll never look back
Where did my life go? It fell through a crack
Drugs are the devil, they grip you at once
And in an instant
You turn into a nonce
When life gets real tough and you think it’s all over
Just think to yourself
Life’s different while sober
Things may go wrong and people may change
But when you are sober It won’t feel too strange
So if you read this, and you feel the pain
Then get off the drugs mate
And change your mind frame
There’s lots of help out there, believe me I know
But only you and your mind-set
Can make the big throw
Drugs are the devil and yes they are bad
But the worst thing that they do Is leave people sad!