RON SIDER
Called to Love the Gay Community
stories. John, the former president of the student body at one of the most famous evangelical universities, told Marin how he had prayed every night for 15 years that God would change his gay orientation, but his feelings never changed.This experience is shared by many of the people Marin has met; they eventually reject a God who, they believe, ignores their This summer I read Andrew Marin’s pow- fervent, desperate prayers. Evangelicals have gone to great lengths erful book, Love Is an Orientation: Elevating the Conversation with the Gay Community to share the gospel with people of almost every culture. We study others’ beliefs, (InterVarsity Press, 2009). Marin has an incredible story. After move into their neighborhoods, and open his first year at a prominent evangelical our hearts to them so we can share the university, three of his best (Christian) goodness of Christ. We have done this friends told him they were gay/lesbian. everywhere, contends Marin, except in In response, Marin, a straight, thoroughly the gay/lesbian community. evangelical Christian, felt called by God Evangelicals have gone to to immerse himself in the gay/lesbian community. He decided to spend almost great lengths to share the all his free time there, listening and gospel with people of almost learning. He now lives with his wife in Boystown, a GLBT (gay, lesbian, bisexevery culture — everywhere, ual, and transgendered) neighborhood contends Marin, except in in Chicago. For most of the last decade, he has spent thousands of hours listenthe gay/lesbian community. ing to, weeping with, and befriending A pioneer, Marin listens rather than these folks, trying to see the world from judges. He quotes Billy Graham’s response their perspective. As most of us know, a huge gulf sepa- to his critics for attending a meeting rates evangelical Christians and the gay/ with Bill Clinton after the president’s lesbian community. To a large extent sex scandal: “It is the Holy Spirit’s job because of our failures, they mistrust, to convict, God’s job to judge, and my despise, and are enormously hostile to job to love.” He avoids answering the evangelicals, viewing us as homophobic inevitable, closed-ended questions that come from both the GLBT folks (“Do bigots. But Marin discovered deep spiritual you think homosexuality is a sin?”) and longing in this community. By patient, the evangelical folks (“Can gays and lespersistent listening — even when wounded bians change?”). Rather than taking on people vented their anger at him because these conversation-stopping questions, of painful past experiences with evan- Marin reframes the discussion with quesgelicals — Marin eventually won their tions about God’s love: “How do you respect and the opportunity to share the think your genetic makeup relates to love of God in Christ. Many found com- God’s desire to be called your Father?” One weakness of the book is that fort in his friendship because, unlike both the GLBT ghetto and the Christian ghetto, Marin seems to lack an adequate underhe focused on their relationship with standing of the church and the communal responsibility of the Christian Christ rather than on their sexuality. Marin’s book is full of wrenching community for moral discernment and PRISM 2010
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mutual accountability. Marin says that when a gay person tells a Christian that God has told him it is okay to be gay, it is wrong to “defend a traditional interpretation of God’s posture toward homosexuality”— that is to “step in between the other person and God.” Instead one should let God speak to that person, “personally and individually telling each of his beloved children what he feels is best for their life.” That is simply too individualistic. On the other hand, Marin is surely right in stressing God’s timetable.We too often rush in to demand instant change rather than waiting for the Holy Spirit to move on the divine schedule. Whether or not one agrees with every line in the book, it is clear that Marin is strongly evangelical. He is unconditionally committed to biblical authority, and he longs to remove the barriers that prevent large numbers of gays and lesbians from embracing the gospel. His excellent suggestions on how to build bridges to the GLBT community make this is an enormously important book for all Christians — especially evangelicals — to read. Why? Because like the rest of us, gays and lesbians are made in the image of God and loved by the Father. Because the GLBT issue is one of the most controverted topics today. Because evangelicals are almost universally viewed as homophobic bigots. And because our lack of love, friendship, and understanding prevents us from sharing the gospel with this important community and also from making progress on other crucial agendas. I pray that ESA and PRISM magazine become leaders in a new kind of sensitive, listening dialogue with gays and lesbians. That doesn’t mean we’re changing our position on homosexual practice or gay marriage. Nor does it mean that we’re a neutral forum for dialogue. Instead, I want ESA to be a loving place where gays and lesbians can freely express their views even as ESA remains firmly committed to the biblical teaching that God’s will for sexual Continued on page 39.