How to Choose a Couples Workshop
Attending a couples’ weekend workshop can be a worthwhile investment in your relationship, but selecting the right workshop can be a daunting task. I conducted an extensive research into couples workshops and retreats. As a disclaimer, I am a certified Gottman Institute Therapist who offers The Art and Science of Love couples workshop. However, here are some general guidelines for anyone searching for a high-quality couples workshop or retreat: Privacy: Couples should expect privacy and a certain level of anonymity. Workshops should not require or encourage couples to make public disclosures about sensitive matters involving their relationships. There’s nothing worse for a relationship than throwing your partner “under the bus” publicly. Privacy will allow you to get to the heart of matters with your partner. During the periods of group instruction, couples can be welcomed to share their insights about the material or their experience with it, or remain silent. Research-backed Methods: Instructors should teach relationship skills grounded in clinical (scientific method) studies of actual couples. While workshops that focus on anecdotal and unproven experiences of the presenter may be entertaining, such retreats will unlikely offer long-term value. Evidence-based relationship methods offer the best chance for couples to learn meaningful skills and implement them, knowing that more than chance, timing or charisma is behind positive changes. Recognition of a Higher Power: While relying on solid data, instructors should also recognize that for many people, a higher power exists which can facilitate healing and change. As a marriage therapist and couples workshop presenter, I do not expect or insist that my clients accept this assumption. However, I let clients know that those who strive for a change of heart and soul will find meaningful information which will blend with their own faith traditions. Behavioral changes acquired at a workshop may lack the depth needed for sustainable change without a deeper purpose of meaning assigned to those changes. Opportunity to Practice Skills: A sound workshop will give couples plenty of time to practice the skills they learn, and reach out to the instructor for assistance at any point. The instructor-to-couples ratio should be kept to about 10-to-1 or