Topeka Community Matters March 2018

Commun ty Matters Topeka Presbyterian Manor

March 2018

How and why to teach your grandchildren about gratitude The way that you live your life can offer the best lesson

By Lisa Fields for Next Avenue

One of the best gifts you can give your grandchild isn’t something physical to wrap up and offer as a birthday present. Rather, you can help to instill a strong sense of gratitude in your grandchild with your words and actions, which can help the child see how much good is in his or her life.

“Gratitude is our positive connection to the past,” said Nansook Park, professor of psychology at Michigan State University, who studies the effects of gratitude on children. “It gives us the sense that there are good things around us, and those good things in our life are the result of contributions by others.”

Feelings of gratitude can alter a child’s perception of the world, his or her family and himself or herself.

Research has shown that children who feel grateful are more satisfied with life, more compassionate, more likely to perform well academically, more likely to have GRATITUDE, continued on page 2

Ashley Zeckser

Bonnie Snowden

Celebrating National Social Work Month “They confront some of the most challenging issues facing individuals, families, communities and society and forge solutions that help people reach their full potential and make our nation a better place to live.”

This description of social workers (from the National Association of Social Workers website) is a highly accurate way to describe these vital service providers, and it’s even more reason to celebrate them all year long, not just during the month of March.

Our two social workers, Bonnie Snowden and Ashley Zeckser, have been at Topeka Presbyterian Manor a combined 30 years, and they are essential to our residents’ quality of life. Despite their ubiquitous services, many people don’t fully understand what social workers do.

“One thing that social workers help with is locating resources to help residents be successful and to help them reach their goals. We also help with any concerns and help the building remain in compliance. We maintain contact with families and residents and the interdisciplinary team to ensure that we are providing the best person-centered care that we can,” said Ashley.

If you see Bonnie or Ashley anytime soon (and you probably will), be sure and tell them thank you for all the ways in which they help Topeka Presbyterian Manor residents live their best life possible!

close relationships with their family members and less likely to be susceptible to stress, depression and early sexual encounters with peers.

life lessons. If you demonstrate that you feel grateful and express your gratitude consistently, your grandchildren are likely to follow suit.

Children need to be taught about gratitude to glean its benefits; it’s a learned skill. But it’s easier to teach than you might think. Grandparents can help cultivate a strong sense of gratitude in grandchildren of all ages, from toddlers to teens. Here’s how:

“Research shows clearly that young people learn by observing, not by listening,” Park said. “Young people who grow up watching adults around them practicing gratitude in daily life are most likely to internalize those concepts and adopt that kind of practice.”

Be a role model

Grandchildren whose parents or grandparents don’t demonstrate gratitude are less likely to cultivate gratitude themselves, even if the

GRATITUDE, continued from page 1

From a young age, children observe adults to learn important

adults in their lives tell them to.

“If you don’t model it yourself, it will have no impact,” said psychologist Eric Dlugokinski, professor emeritus at the University of Oklahoma.

Going beyond ‘thank you’ From a young age, children are taught to say “thank you” for gifts or kindnesses. But saying the words reflexively doesn’t mean that they’re grateful.

“They are often doing that because they have been prompted and they know it’s a social convention,” said GRATITUDE, continued on page 3

Art is Ageless® exhibit and reception features local senior artists Community Matters

is published monthly for residents and friends of Wichita Presbyterian Manor by Presbyterian Manors of Mid-America Inc., a not-for-profit 501(c)(3) organization. Learn more at PresbyterianManors.org.

Heather Pilkinton, executive director Chelsea Watgen, marketing director To submit or suggest articles for this publication, contact Chelsea Watgen, marketing director, cwatgen@pmma.org.

Telephone: 785-272-6510 Fax: 785-272-0496 Address: 4712 S.W. Sixth Ave., Topeka, KS 66606-2284 Our mission: We provide quality senior services guided by Christian values.

TopekaPresbyterianManor.org

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Community Matters March 2018

Since the beginning of time, creative expression has brought joy to both its creators and those who experience their art. The Art is Ageless® program offers senior artists the opportunity to share and display their artwork and reaffirms the agelessness of human creativity.

This month, their works are on display at Topeka Presbyterian Manor.

“It’s inspiring to see the beautiful pieces these seniors have created,” said Chelsea Watgen, director of sales and marketing. “The joy it brings to them and others is wonderful, and that’s something we want to celebrate and share with the entire Topeka community.”

a few Topeka Presbyterian Manor residents. The public is welcome to visit the community to view the exhibit of acrylics, oils, photography and various other mediums, ranging from amateur to professional levels.

The exhibit will be open in the Rotunda and Kanza Rooms March 20-23. Artists who want to display their work must enter before 5 p.m. on March 16.

In addition to the exhibit, Topeka Presbyterian Manor will honor local senior artists during a reception at the community from 1 to 4 p.m. on March 23.

The Art is Ageless exhibit will feature works from local artists who are 65 and older, including Like us on Facebook

GRATITUDE, continued from page 2

Katelyn Poelker, assistant professor of psychology at Hope College in Holland, Mich., who studies the effects of gratitude on children. “It’s maybe more of a ritual than, ‘Wow, I totally understand all the trouble this person went through to get this toy I really wanted.’”

You can help your grandchildren understand gratitude by teaching them why to say “thank you,” not just when.

people to shift the focus away from what went wrong,” Poelker said. “It’s framing disappointments and losses in terms of what you still have. Even if you lose the soccer tournament, you still got to spend 16 weeks with the soccer team: The great friendships, the lessons learned and maybe next year, we’ll be better.”

“It’s important to explain the rationale behind those automatic thank yous,” Poelker said. “You can only feel gratitude when you understand what the other person had to do to make it a reality for you. A younger child can’t think it through the same way as an older Offering perspective child. Explain it: ‘Grandma called Mommy to see what you wanted, Although teens may seem focused and then she drove all the way to the on themselves, they haven’t store and picked it out.’” necessarily forgotten about gratitude.

Uncovering silver linings Naturally, you want to protect your grandchildren from disappointment.

You can’t stop upsetting events from unfolding, but instilling them with a strong sense of gratitude can help.

“It’s part of life to win some and lose some,” Dlugokinski said. “It’s not whether you are defeated at something, it’s whether you bounce back. Resilience is the capacity to bounce back from losses.”

If your grandchild is accustomed to thinking about things that he or she is grateful for, it will be easier to find silver linings in upsetting situations and bounce back.

“Gratitude is encouraging young Like us on Facebook

“People often think that young people are entitled and ungrateful, but that is not always true,” Park said. “Adolescence is for young people to focus more on themselves and try to build a sense of identity.

Thinking about how others contribute to their life is not exactly what they are interested in doing.

This does not mean that they are not grateful.”

You may help teens embrace gratitude by pointing out sacrifices that others have made for them.

“Encourage them to see things from multiple vantage points,” Poelker said. “It sets them up to better appreciate all the kind things that

have been done for them when you understand what it took for the other person to make that happen.”

Expressions of gratitude When your grandchild receives a gift, you can encourage him or her to write a thank-you card. If you start early on, card-writing can become a positive habit.

“If adults make it fun with young people and truly explain the meaning of activity, [writing thankyou notes] can be a part of family ritual,” Park said. “However, if adults demand or preach young people to do it as an obligation while they are not doing it, it is not only less effective but it creates resentment and resistance.”

Younger children can get into the habit by drawing thank-you pictures.

Older children can dig deep within themselves.

“I would recommend that the note explain why the child is grateful, rather than, ‘Thanks for the gift,’” Poelker said. “You strengthen that bond, acknowledging something deeper than, ‘Hey, you got me something.’ It’s beneficial both for the benefactor and the beneficiary.”

Topeka Presbyterian Manor

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Topeka Presbyterian Manor 4712 S.W. Sixth Ave. Topeka, KS 66606-2284 Return Service Requested

Tell us your story We will be celebrating Older American’s Month and National Nursing Home Week in an upcoming issue of Community Matters. The Older Americans Month theme is “Engage at Every Age.” If you have ways that you are intentionally staying engaged in activities you’ve always loved, using technology or if you just want to tell the world what you love about living in your senior living community, we want to share the story.

Contact Chelsea Watgen, marketing director, and your story could be featured in an upcoming edition of Community Matters.

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Community Matters March 2018

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