Commun ty Matters Sterling Presbyterian Manor
Myths About Aging, Debunked
By Pamela Blair for Next Avenue To age successfully, we need to be aware of the newer and older myths about aging that our current culture holds true. Here are examples of the myths I’ve heard and what I know to be true: Myth: Old people are depressed and lonely. Truth: We may get sad and lonely from time to time, but the research shows that the least lonely and depressed are older than 75. Myth: Old people have more stress in their lives. Truth: According to psychologists, older people have more stress-free days than younger ones. Myth: Growing older is synonymous with the loss of meaning and purpose. Truth: Research and the elderly themselves are demonstrating that one’s later years can be the richest ever in wisdom and spirituality. Myth: If you are older and reminiscing about the past or are becoming garrulous about the past, you are exhibiting signs of senility. Truth: These recollections are natural and appropriate, and their purpose is to resolve conflicts of life and to do a life review. Copyright© 2014 Next Avenue, a division of
Twin Cities Public Television, Inc.
June 2015
When Should You Step In to Help Your Parents? By Eileen Beal, Benjamin Rose, Institute on Aging
What Our Parents Don't Admit
But they usually aren’t admitting — especially to their adult children — that they tend to drop heavy pots, trip on the basement steps, are confused about when to take their medications or back into things with the car.
How to know when your parents need more coordinated help.
A parent may ask for the occasional favor, but most won’t ask for help around the house or with their daily activities, even when they need it, says Alberta Chokshi, a social worker and director of quality improvement for Benjamin Rose Institute on Aging.
They don’t think it’s any of their kids’ business. Or, they are in denial about what’s going on. Try To See The Big Picture
Denial isn’t all on the parents’ side. Adult children are often deep in it, too.
They don’t want to admit that a parent is declining and needs help. Chokshi, who has been working with They may resist accepting that familial families for 40 years, says that instead roles are starting to reverse and that of seeking help, it’s typical for elderly they need to step in, either helping a parent themselves or lining up parents to adapt and adjust their support. activities and routines. If you’re guilty of denial, it’s time for They do household chores more you to take a hard look around for the slowly (or not at all). They may use telltale signs that things aren’t going adaptive devices, such as a cane or a reacher or a magnifying glass. Perhaps well for a parent or loved one. they’ve lined up someone to pick Don’t just look for safety and health them up for errands and troubles, Chokshi advises. Look for appointments. And — often just to things that could point to problems please their children — they will with how a parent is functioning on a wear a medical alert bracelet or daily basis, and also check on whether necklace.
STEPPING IN continued on page 3